Category Archives: Family

At Home

Samhain                                                     New (Winter) Moon

Kate’s timing was ideal.  She got home as the rain cum snow began.  She accepted the greetings of a grateful doggy contingent and a happy husband. Good to have her back.

Snow’s coming down with some energy now.  Big fat flakes which usually mean less accumulation, little snow big snow being Northern weather wisdom.  We’ll see.  As the temps cool down tonight, the snow could increase in volume going from fat wet clumps to smaller flakes that will collect in larger amounts.

A severe shock of below normal temps will hit western North Dakota meaning those poor bastards outside in the Bakken Oil Fields.  It’ll be so fracking cold the workers will have a tough time staying limber.

 

The Corn Palace

Samhain                                                        New (Winter) Moon

Kate’s in Mitchell, sleeping near the Corn Palace.  She’ll make it home tomorrow Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise.  It’s been a week since she left and the house has had that not full resonance.  Tonight, knowing she’ll be home tomorrow, it has the she’s just gone for a little while feel.  Slowly taking on its more usual tones as her presence returns, a piece at a time.

It’s been an interesting week since I’ve been without a car and have not left our property for the duration.  The only difference I’ve noticed is that the occasional urge to go somewhere, to the grocery store or a quick trip into Minneapolis, vanished quickly.  As soon as it surfaced.  Otherwise I’ve followed my usual routines.  Missing Kate, of course, but also enjoying the monastic moment.

Tonight will be the last night alone in the bed.

Samhain                                                          Thanksgiving Moon

Kate spent the night in Sundance, Wyoming, near Devil’s Tower.  She remarked on the beauty of Wyoming and I agree.  It’s a beautiful place with very few people, fewer than 575,000, which puts it at 50 of 50 in terms of population.  That’s 5.9 folks per square mile, lower density than 48 others.  Only enormous Alaska has a lower density at 1.3 per square mile.  Beauty does not feed people.  The barren high plains and intermontane areas plus the Rocky Mountains on the western edge make Wyoming inhospitable. Sounds like a perfect place to live.  Except for those Cheney’s and the homophobia.  Laramie’s in Wyoming.

 

 

Kate

Samhain                                                           Thanksgiving Moon

There is one.  One special thanksgiving.  It starts with the baroque or the classical, a little IMAG0998Mozart, some Hayden, Pachelbel.  An affiliation with the older music making traditions of public music in the West.  Enough so to encourage regular attendance.  Then divorces, seats given up, and two people, the remainders of the marriages, seated next to each other.

Yes, one night over coffee at the St. Paul Hotel after the last Chamber Orchestra concert of the season, this woman and I discovered we had each other figured wrong.  Me: a lawyer.  Her: a school teacher, maybe a college professor.

Later a three week trip through Europe, starting in Rome, following spring north in March, as far north as Inverness, capital of the Highlands.  After that, closing in on 24 years of supporting and loving each other, blending our families, raising and loving many dogs, growing food, sewing and writing, growing old happily.

Kate.  This is thanks for Kate.

 

Be Glad You Exist

Samhain                                                            Thanksgiving Moon

Thankful.  Grateful.  Still here.

Yes, that’s the  prerequisite to all that follows, my living presence to write these words. And, yes, damn it, I’m grateful to be alive.

When I visited Constanta, Romania a year and a half ago, I went there as a pilgrimage to the place of Ovid’s exile.  This is a city that has Roman (Romania!) roots.  Outside an excellent museum of Roman and Greek antiquities (it was a Greek trading port first.), there was a collection of grave markers.  On one of them was this line:  Be Glad You Exist.  That’s what I would call ur-gratitude.  Thankfulness for living.

It’s where I’ll start.  Beyond consciousness and good health in my own case I’m thankful for the same in Kate, the dogs, family, friends and even a few others.  Our home.  Our buddies and colleagues the bees, the soil and the plants which grow in it, those past and those to come.  The orchard and the trees in our woods.  All the critters, sleeping and active that call it home.

Extending all that in a generally cosmic direction, I am grateful for the physics that allow us to exist at all, the sun for its energy, the planet for its hospitable climate (sorry about that hot pack, Gaia) and the North American continent for its wildness and its cities and towns.  Yes, the suburbs, too.  Even Andover.

Language.  English.  Being able to communicate with each other, even through such a flawed and miraculous medium.  What would life be without language?  Western medicine.  Often maligned, but my fav.  Western civilization.  Also often maligned, but mine and yours.  At least most of you who read this.  And just as worthy a human artifice as anyone else’s.

Of course the internet.  Cyberspace.  What a wonder to an old man raised with bakelite phones, 6 digit phone numbers, a time before tv.  So much.  So much to say thank you for. More than can be expressed in any list, no matter how long.

How about, for example, oxygen?  Or the properties of water?  We are made of stardust, animated elements spun out so long ago at the birth not of our nation, not of our planet, not of our solar system, not of our galaxy, but of our universe.  And now they walk, talk, consider their origin.  How damned amazing is that?

So.  Thanks.

 

The Most Unusual Holiday

Samhain                                                                    Thanksgiving Moon

In long ago still Christian days I sought advice from a spiritual director, a Jesuit nun whose name I have forgotten.  I have not forgotten her advice, however.  “Keep a gratitude journal.  All spirituality begins in gratitude.”

Thanksgiving has become a primary, if the not the primary, American holiday.  As such, it is one of the highlights of holiseason, a family focused festival celebrated across religious, class and ethnic lines.   Its emphasis on gratitude, now long unmoored from its ironic relationship to the natives of the East Coast,who reportedly provided the food for the “first Thanksgiving,” enhances it.

It is a holiday with a focus on thankfulness, not getfulness, and as such, might be the most unusual holiday of them all.  We come together with a desire to eat together, of course. Festive banqueting is an ancient way of honoring a god, a king or a queen, a birthday, a national or religious observance, but here that banquet instead honors the land, its fruits, and the relationships which matter to us. It may be  the central American holiday, one more evocative of an American civil spirituality than the guns and bluster 4th of July or even the more narrow celebrations of Labor Day and Memorial Day.  There will be no time in our common life when stopping for a day of thanks will be inappropriate.

 

Siesta. Si.

Samhain                                                          Thanksgiving Moon

Grandma’s in Denver, probably having breakfast at the Best Western with the grandkids 2011 11 22_3981right about now.  She forgot to take her recipes so we may have to shore her up from home base.

(Grandma in Brazil)

The dogs and I have hit a rhythm that’s working so far.  The house is quieter with Kate gone and for a silence loving guy like me, I don’t like it.  Having another mouse in the burrow makes the whole place feel more livable.

Having said that my day doesn’t change much.  Up around 7:00-7:30.  Down to work around 8:00.  I will take a break at 10:00 to see if the dogs need to go out, then back to work until lunch.  Lunch.  Nap.  Work and workout till 7:00 or so.   Then relax.  This is, roughly, the daily schedule I discovered in Bogota now over 25 years.  It made sense to me then and makes sense to me now.

Many could not adjust their day to this kind of schedule, I know that, but if you can, I imagine you would see an increase in productivity and serenity.  Whole swaths of Latin culture have done it for years, even centuries and there’s physiological reason for it.  Get a good 7-8 hours of sleep, get up and use that good morning time for work.  Then, as the body slows down in the middle of the day, eat and nap, follow it with another pulse of work until the early evening, then enjoy yourself and your family.  A very pleasant way to live.

Me and My Gal

Samhain                                                     Thanksgiving Moon

May the Thanksgiving Moon shine over me and my gal.  She’s set out on Federal Highways, Interstatials to Denver, the back of the truck packed like Santa’s sleigh, only in this case it would be Tevya’s wagon with dreidels decorating its wooden sides.  As always, I travel with her as she stays home with me, our lives entwined, sometimes entangled.  This sounds bad in a psychobabble way, I know, but it shows merely and oh so much the degree to which we have become partners, not dependent on each other, no, but relying  on each other.  Love.  What it is.

As she drives south in Minnesota, then into Iowa, heading right at Des Moines and left at the moon, across the bridge across the wide Missouri and the often shallow Platte outside of Omaha, past the home of the Cornhuskers in Lincoln and under the silly arch for the pioneers somewhere near Kearney, she carries us along.  We are now the older generation, the ones closest to the final passage.  We are Grandma and Grandpop, bearing responsibility for our family as we both wish our families had done for us.

I’m thankful for classical music and seasonal subscriptions.  If the St. Paul Chamber Orchestra had been locked out, we never would have met.  Strange.  How many couples will go undiscovered with the pitiful display the Minnesota Orchestra has put on these last few months?

So much in our lives happens by chance.  No intentionality behind it.  Life shows up and we either greet it or miss it, that’s the way it is.  Opening ourselves to the fates, who weave our lives on some misty mountaintop somewhere, makes this the adventure of a lifetime.

 

Holiseason Rising

Samhain                                                      Thanksgiving Moon

Can you feel the holiseason spirit rising?  I can.  Presents for Hanukkah lie on the bed ready to go in the truck for their ride to Denver.  Joseph’s coming to Minnesota.  The Byerly’s order will come today.  I’m headed out to Festival for the last of the list.

(Lyon)

Kate’s packed, audio books ready.  Cooler to fill.  Then Grandma will head over the plains and through Nebraska.

Meanwhile I’m closing in on Missing 5.0.  The holiday week should see that put to bed.  Celebration all round.

Back in the S.A.

Samhain                                                        Thanksgiving Moon

Brother Mark is settling into Muyhail, Saudi Arabia.  He said it has a back of beyond sort of feel and its location makes that no surprise.  I posted this map a while ago, but here it is again.

Muyhail is in Asir province and shares a border with Yemen.  It’s also not far from the Red Sea though a long ways from the Suez Canal.  What it’s very close to is the Rub Al Kahli, the famed empty quarter that is the desert of Arabian Nights’ fantasies. And mine, too, for that matter.

He’s teaching in a Basque owned company providing technical college students an opportunity to learn English.  Tip of the hat to brother Mark for finding a new position in the land of oil and sand.