This May Night Has A Sacred Presence

Beltane                Waxing  Flower Moon

When I walk outside at night, on the back deck, the flower moon shines, almost full.  A May rain has dampened all the earth in the back, where the vegetables seeds wait for the right combination of moisture and heat to spring to life, begin their season.  The earth on this May night gives off a scent, a strong scent,  the odor of fertility.

It was said that the odor of sanctity, a scent associated with saints, was the smell of roses.  I’ll go with the smell of roses and leave the sanctity to the theologians, but this May night has a sacred presence, the presence of life and the inanimate in an intimate union.

Moon light on a growing garden, an orchard beginning to leaf out, tulips and daffodils folded up for the night, are the early signs of a northern summer.

A northern summer has a marked difference from the southern US or Southeast Asia, which my brother refers as the land of endless summer.  We come to summer after a long, cold, sometimes difficult winter.  The greens, the yellows, the reds and blues of summer gladden the heart, create a sense of openness and possibility, so welcome.  In lands where the seasons are only dry or wet, but always hot there is no caesura, a fallow time, for contrast.

Right now, to step outside in the dark, with a fine bright moon, is to walk into the Otherworld straight out of the Land of Winter.  Magical.

A Flag Hanging From A Tree On The Mississippi

Beltane                   Waxing Flower Moon

Windows Without Walls.  Microsoft has this new advertising slogan.  I keep wondering if they realize that without walls there are no windows?

2 hours today for my baby plants getting ready to head out to the garden.  They’re done right now and I have to go get them before my treadmill workout.

As I passed over the Mississippi on the way out to the endodontist this morning, I noticed a tree with an American flag attached to a branch, fluttering.  Somehow the artlessness of it reminded me of days gone by, of a world in which there were fewer right angles, fewer stone bridges and no steel and concrete ones, no cars.  This triggered a revery at first between art and artifice which went away almost as quick as it came.  Not the point.

What was the point?  Permaculture has something to do with it.  So does our very American and persistent yearning to return to the land, to become one with nature.  This flag without a flag pole, without dramatic lighting suggested this.  What was there here?

The red car sped along Highway 252 headed toward Highway 100.  The reflections kept coming.  Nature and artifice.  No.  Not nature and artifice.  Nature and the human drive to build and decorate, artifice.  Both natural.  Then, the city, where I feel such energy and hope, and our home with its orchard and vegetable beds, its perennial flowers like the tulips and daffodils up now, where I also feel energy and hope, these two must walk together.  The tight gathering of humans and their shelters is no different from the mud daubed home of the wasps or the cave of the hibernating bear.  Likewise humans earning their food from mother earth is no different from the bass dining on minnows or the moose eating duckweed from a wilderness lake.

Yes, that was it.  The flag on the tree branch reminded me that we humans and, all of what we do, are natural.  This whole earth in the balance rhetoric is wrong; it is not earth that is in the balance, it is rather humankind.  We may live in such a way that we eliminate our own niche.  It has happened before and it will happen again, naturally.

Root Canal. The Sequel.

Beltane                   Waxing Flower Moon

Root canal sequel.  My one month check-up today.

Got in the car and drove 50 minutes south to Bloomington, exited on Pennsylvania and took it to the Penncrest Professional Building.  I got in about 10:10 for a 10 a.m. appointment.  Not bad.

The dental assistant came in, masked and wearing floral pattern scrubs that looked like a designer of motel interiors had found another outlet.  She stuck a plastic gadget in my mouth, had me clamp down.  A whir and a click later I spit out the plastic piece and saw the image pop-up directly on the lap-top screen to my right.  Pretty damned slick.  No film.  No wait.

Dr. Erickson followed her.  With a practiced flick of his wrist he moved the long dangling light over my face, gave it a twist to turn it on and began snapping on a pair of rubber gloves.  How is it?  Good.  Hmmm.  Looks good.  You’re ok.  If there’s any problem, I’m sure your dentist will call me.

That was it.  I had driven almost an hour for less than 5 minutes of surveillance. Worth it, of course, because nothing beats a professional eye and hand, but 2 hours + on the road.  Geez.

On the way there and back I listened to a recorded book.  This time a Clive Cussler thriller titled Plague Ship.  Entertaining.

Projection Is Not Just A Machine In A Movie Theatre

Beltane                    Waxing Flower Moon

“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.” – Herman Hesse

This is a fundamental tenet of Jungian psychology, projection.  I mentioned this acquaintance a while back whom I have begun to despise.  It became clear, as I wrote that, that projection was at work.  There is something about him that I despise in myself, just what I’m not sure.  It may be that I don’t think through things as clearly as I imagine since that’s the main problem I have with him.  It may be that his anger, a strong undercurrent in his approach to life, reflects a similar emotional undercurrent in mine.  As I write about it, that one makes sense to me.

One of the difficulties I’ve noticed in the transition from 60’s political work to the millennial political work I’ve done with the Sierra Club has its roots there.  In the 60’s our anger, our rage against the system fueled a willingness to live on the fringe of society and take the consequences.  Today, though, politics on the left has a quieter, more plodding nature.  I want to build a movement, mount the barricades, define enemies but my new colleagues use reason and persistence.  In part this mirrors the relative failures of the left in the last three decades, we have been weaker.

It has caused me considerable self-examination.

I’m not sure where the underlying anger comes from, but I suspect its origin lies in perceived mistreatment by my father and fate.  When I approach either of these from an older, calmer perspective, I can see both my role in them and their unintentional nature.  Anger and fear have ruled my life at critical junctures.  This may be the point where I finally confront them.