5,464 entries since 2005

Summer                                                                             Solstice Moon

Just checked, out of curiosity, the number of posts on Ancientrails.  A somewhat mind boggling 5,500.  That’s rounding up from 5, 464, but not by much.  I have no idea what I’m doing here, why I’m doing it, yet I certainly seem to have kept at it.  At one level this is not surprising as my shelves of hand-written journals would attest, on the other hand that’s a lot of entries.

Quantity, of course, does not equal quality.  Hardly.  In fact you could argue a reverse correlation, but it certainly means that I’ve attended to this blog.

If you’re a reader, I appreciate your following along on this erratic journey, one guided by inner winds more than anything else.  Thanks.

Stand Up

Summer                                                                                            Solstice Moon

Been trying to figure out what I’ve stood for and stand for.  This is different than what I believe in since beliefs and actions don’t always match up, but actions remain after all thinking is done.

One thing I’ve stood for, or rather sat for, is learning.  Ever since I started school and learned to read, I’ve been on one long ride, most of it in the presence of words.  There is admit, something profligate, unguided, voracious about my desire to learn.  It has taken me down unexpected roads, but then it would not be learning if it didn’t, would it?

Early on I took the idea that we are responsible for our own education, not the teachers or the schools or the curriculum.  We had to decide how to focus, how to integrate and eventually how to guide our own learning.  It was clear to me from around the fifth grade or so that schooling was temporary, while learning was lifetime.

Another thing I’ve stood for is justice.  Injustice rankles me, gets under my skin, especially if people aren’t doing anything about it.  Or, if people feel life is set up to give them a raw deal.  Again, from very early I opposed things done for the sake of tradition, because somebody said we had to do it that way, because somebody said there was nothing else to do about it.

This pushed me into politics since power and its wielding often determines how just a given circumstance is or can be made:  class president, university senate, student rights, anti-war politics, civil rights, feminism, neighborhood based economic development, a jobs response to unemployment, a bank for the poorest of the poor, Sierra Club legislative politics.  We can’t do it is not a phrase that makes any sense to me.  Never will.

Art.  Painting, sculpture, prints and drawing, literature, poetry, theater, dance, classical music, jazz, blues.  Not sure you can I stood for it, but I can’t get enough of it.  It’s always at my side, on my wall, in my head, pushing out the boundaries of my heart.

Family.  Even though the path has been dotted with failure and often laden with pain family continues to be a lodestar in my life.  Never more so than now.

The Ways of Mother Earth.  This was slow coming on, but it has occupied more and more of my time and thinking as we pushed into perennials, then vegetables, finally fruit.  And explored various methods for caring for the plants.  And the bees, of course.

Dogs.  They are in my life and have been and will be.

Creativity.  I believe in it.  I do it.  I work to support others in it.

Travel.  Being the stranger in a strange land.  Seeing how others solve the puzzles of human life.  How they build and love and cook and sell and live.

So, let’s see.  I stand for learning, justice, art, creativity, family, the ways of Mother Earth, dogs and travel.  These are the primary things, that I can think of now, that have occupied my time and energy.  And I’m ok with them.

The Sweetest Sound

Summer                                                                        Solstice Moon

Apparently this decompression thing will take a bit longer than one day.  Slept in this morning, late start.  Worked out last night and that often means a longer sleep the next day.  I’m pushing myself now, more reps with lighter weights.  Taking a weight until I can do 20 reps twice, then moving up.  That means more work per set and a longer time with the body at a higher heart rate.  All for the good of the team.  Team Self.

There is a feeling of satisfaction, a deep joy.  Though they differ from culture to culture, there are certain basic roles that define us.  Raising children is one.  Being a grandparent is another.  These are old roles, ancientrails common to all cultures.  Who does them may change from place to place, but in our culture it is usually the core couple of a nuclear family that fulfills both roles.  Blended families bring nuances to those roles that are real, but they don’t change the roles themselves.

Cries of grandpop! in the small voice of children has to be one of the sweetest sounds the human ear can hear.  Better than Mozart or Led Zepplin or I do or here’s your diploma.  Why?  Because they come from innocence, unfiltered and largely unexamined.  They are an unconditional affirmation.  I know this because I here these words from Ruth and Gabe with whom I have no genetic link.  That’s one of the nuances from the blended family.  Yet even Ruth, who wanted to meet her Dad’s real (biological) father and therefore her real (biological) grandfather, greets me with the same lack of reserve.  I fill the role, am the role.