Weekend Stuff

Winter                                                  Seed Catalog Moon

A money meeting this morning, then a long overdue call for repairs to my gas heater here in the study. The thermostat connection has long ago died and I have a hot or cold phenomenon in these bitterly cold days.  I heat it up to dispel the cold, but then have to turn the heater off because it goes past the comfort point.  Then, with the heat off, the cold seeps back in.  Soon I’ll have an even temp while I work.

I’m also working on a design for ancientrailsgreatwheel.com, one that will enhance and integrate with the theme.  This may take a while but I have until Imbolc to get it ready. Should be plenty of time.

Gonna do something unusual later today.  Visit a bricks and mortar store.  I want to get a new video card for my Gateway so I can utilize two screens, but finding out what I actually need has gotten the better of me.  I’m going to ask a live human being.  If the tariff isn’t too high, I’ll buy the video card there in return for the help.  If it’s double the online price, well…

 

 

Winter                                                       Seed Catalog Moon

Wow.  It’s gotten warmer since the late afternoon.  26.  Tomorrow will see the temps above freezing, then a major plummet.  Gonna try to get some work done outside tomorrow.  Not sure what.

A Sweetness in Aging

Winter                                                            Seed Catalog Moon

There is a sweetness in aging that comes unanticipated and for that reason even more ed2011 01 09_1223welcome and surprising.  The races have been run.  The stakes won or lost.  Now there is  a peace, Kate and I growing old together.  Of course we still have dreams and goals, but they have taken their proper place, the place they could have taken all along had we been awake.

Life never has a ribbon for your worth; we only worry that it does.  And that instead of of a blue ribbon we’ll get the honorable mention, or good sport award, or the congeniality award.  The truth is he who dies with the most toys still dies, no matter what the brave bumper sticker on your BMW might say.

Life values life, values living toward enrichment for yourself and others.  No, not that kind of enrichment.  The other kind.  Where your work engages all of you, stretches you, challenges your talents, takes you into new territory.  Where love lays your life down alongside others, so that, as Camus has said, this trip to death might be just a little more comfortable.  Or, as the millenials have it, so that life will suck less.

Turns out age can strip away the detritus from those insecure parents, those overly ambitious teachers and mentors, that eager super ego and set you free.  Of course, yes, you can always have this.  At any age.  Yes.  But age can slide it onto your table unannounced, no fanfare, just a quiet, hey, you’re fine just the way you are.

I’ve been thinking about a couple of things in this regard.  The golden years is one.  It’s true, these are the golden years. Never thought it was true.  Now I know.

The second thing is heart.  As in, at heart I’m a… Or, I know this by heart.  I’m putting it in my thinking box alongside home.  Something to bring out now and then and ponder. When you say casually, at heart I’m a…, pay attention.  You have just offered yourself self-knowledge.

In these golden years we become what we are at heart.  Or at least we can.  Let it be so for you.

 

A Couple of New Things for this Next Year

Winter                                                      Seed Catalog Moon

A couple of new things for 2014.  First, a circular calendar, which I like for reasons explained often here, and one I like even more for its clean design and it’s simple graphic showing the amount of sunshine on any given day in the year.  The inside of the circle has concentric rings that go from 16 hours of sunlight a day on the outside ring, down to 2 hours of sunlight in the center.  The yellow follows the curve of daytime around the calendar, or, another way of conceiving it, around the earth’s solar orbit.  (at 50 degrees N latitude, which is 5 degrees north of us, passing through Germany and Canada, for instance)

You’ll notice it’s pretty beat up.  The mailing tube from Germany got smooshed.  Soren, the designer, and I corresponded, first about how much I liked the design and then about the calendar.  He refunded my money and put me on a discount list for next year.  A nice guy.

IMAG1314

 

The second item is a gift from Kate.  I have to work on the presentation, but you’ll get the drift.

IMAG1318Ho, ho, ho,  ho, ho.

 

Advanced Problems

Winter                                                   Seed Catalog Moon

Wow.  19.  Hard to imagine Monday’s high will be 33 degrees lower.

Today’s focus was Latin.  The sight reading has gotten easier though there are still instances like verse 215.  After struggling with it, I looked over to see what I’d gotten in the slower pace of translating with helps.  Brackets.  215 looked like this  {                               }.

As the Latin begins to loosen its occult barriers, the little things, as I said a couple of weeks ago, loom larger.  Is that a neuter plural?  Yes.  Well, it can’t modify that masculine singular.  Oh.  Yeah.  Sounds obvious and it is, unless it isn’t.  Choosing the right English word to translate a particular Latin word is harder for me.   I still haven’t read enough Latin to know what Latin authors usually mean by a particular word.  All the meanings seem possible.

But these are advanced problems and I’m happy to have them.

 

 

Next Year’s Quotes Already

“How pleasant it is to spend an evening this way! I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of anything than a book!- When I have a house of my own, I shall be miserable if I have not an excellent library”
Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
“I am looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging, and it’s very difficult to find anyone.”
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

“I am unmoved by daily pictures of the dead.
A poet sings of toads and strikes straight at my heart.”

— Jee Leong Koh, “Heart Ghazal” from “A Lover’s Recourse” (from Seven Studies for a Self Portrait)

A Good Idea Failed

Winter                                                             Seed Catalog Moon

Kate and I drove in to Minneapolis today, to the Smack Shack.  The Smack Shack is not, as you might justifiably think, a boutique heroin market, but a food truck doing a transformer move into a very large seafood restaurant.  The featured menu item is boiled lunch complete with your choice of a 1.5 or a 2.0 pound lobster.

This was a holiday lunch with Anne, Kate’s sister, who lives in Waconia.  A smattering of west suburban upper class types were there and the prices wouldn’t shock any of them, but if any of our neighbors showed up they’d grimace.  The food is o.k., but not worth quite the bite it takes out of the wallet.  Still, for the purpose, it was great.

Kate and I shared a boiled lunch and Anne had one to herself.  We both had plenty to take home.  The lobsters are red and look very much like their coastal nickname, bug.  On the plate were several grade b skin on red potatoes, two links of polish sausage, two fresh ears of corn, a half lemon wrapped in cloth, two small metal containers of cole slaw and a pot of melted butter.

Bibs in place we dug into the meal.  Both Kate and I remember the days when, at least in the midwest, surf and turf was about as fancy as food got.  Lobster was the pinnacle of haute cuisine, even one step higher.  Surf without the turf.  Now I find lobster ok, but usually tough and not as flavorful as I remember from days gone by.  Of course, that could be my taste buds.

The sisters compared arthritis in their hands, spoke of sewing and retirement.  Anne turns 62 this year and finally, as a result, rotates onto the day shift at a metro County Jail.  She commented on the increasing number of drunks, mentally ill and generally decompensating people that show up in our culture’s catch basin, the county hoosegow.

Just the other day five of the 11 women in her charge had serious mental health issues, one screaming and another lacerating her arm with her fingernails.  It made me recall those days in the late 60’s and early 70’s when deinstitutionalization had reached its moment.

They were exciting times.  People were to be freed from the Victorian confines of state hospitals for the retarded and the insane, places with institutionalized violence and clients aberrant adaptations to an aberrant, abnormal living situation.  The watchword was normalization.

Normalization meant re-introducing these populations to society, helping them in the process through community based services, residential for those who needed them, supportive services for those who didn’t.  Community Involvement Programs employed me for 8 years in its residential training program for developmentally disabled adults.

C.I.P. was an example of the best of the community based services.  We took folks straight out of Fairbault and Cambridge State Hospitals, put them in their own apartments in a 32 unit building we ran and trained them in budgeting, cleaning, cooking, shopping, making appointments and integrating into the community.  It was good and important work.

What happened though a confirmed cynic would have foreseen, but we didn’t see it back then.  As states cut funding to their large state hospital systems, the money was supposed to flow into the community based treatment programs.  And some of it did.  But not anywhere near enough.  This was the root cause of the first wave of homelessness, developmentally disabled and mentally ill citizens released from state hospitals to the streets our major cities.

This is one of the great tragedies of our time, but it has gone largely untalked about. The people who suffer are the marginalized among the marginalized, the folks whose disabilities render them vulnerable to shifts in income, housing, treatment.  The answer, of course, is not more state hospitals, but increased funding for community based treatment.

But in an era of Republican budget cutting, which has largely dominated the political scene since the early 80’s when Reagan came into the Whitehouse, this kind of state and federal funding has proved easy to slash.  The result was–to use an overused but apt metaphor–a perfect storm of liberal policy releasing thousands of our society’s least able to cope into cities where prevailing political realities made them largely unhelpable.

This is a big reason that our county jails have now become our community based treatment centers.  They resemble in many ways small outposts of the old state hospital system, run by authoritarian hierarchies that respond to the needs of bureaucracy first, not inmates.

And Anne, in her role, sees the results and has to deal with them.  Surely we can do better.