Samain Moving Moon
It’s down to these kind of thoughts. We won’t finish Midsomer Murders in Minnesota. Too many seasons left to go. That tube of toothpaste? Nope. It will get packed. The mouthwash though. Fini.
Small things to mark the time which has now moved to under two weeks. We’re both excited. We’re both tired of preparation and are ready to go. Even though, of course, there is still some preparation left. Ah. Well.
Samain Moving Moon
Spent some time packing this morning. Not astonishing. I decided to start at the west wall of the basement and work my way east, packing my way to the garden study. This way, when I finish this time, I will be finished.
This action, rather than thinking about acting or about the need to act or about the things that might go wrong if I don’t act, further relieved my anxiety.
A certain low level of anxiety hangs around the hallways of my psyche pegged to minor things of which I am aware, yet have not engaged. In this case they are the items I’ve not packed, most small or clumsy. My goal now is to strip those things from the hallways and out of my need to attend to them at all.
I don’t know whether this strategy will achieve inner peace for me, but it should end up with everything in a box or ready for the movers to pack.
Samain Moving Moon
Business meeting at Keys. Money’s on track. We have plenty of time to get things done. My anxiety level returned to normal after our time together. Normal means low to none, even for me. My anxiety disorder is situational, not triggered constantly. Given the stress levels associated with moves I’d say my anxiety has been about what I could expect.
This shared time together, focused on the pragmatics of our common life, schedule, money, how we’re feeling, has become a necessary and substantial part of our life. It allows us to deal with potential problems before they get big and to prevent most of them altogether. Thanks, Ruth.
Samain Moving Moon
Finding emotions cycling faster as the time here gets shorter. As Frank Broderick put it in a phone call yesterday, time here circles like water down a drain, getting smaller and smaller as the days disappear.Yesterday I felt delight, this morning, early, a nascent panic. God, do we have time to get everything done?
Last evening the treadmill mysteriously quit working. This is a Landice and I have a lifetime warranty on it; the parts cost is not an issue though there can be a substantial labor charge. The question is, can it get fixed before the movers load it on the truck? I’ll find out today.
Filling out papers for the sale of the house. Stuff we could have done a while back but didn’t realize we had. Disclosure forms, things like that.
Based on my anxiety over the last few months and the number of dire events that have not happened you might think I would be calmer now, use experience to tamp down the nervous tics. But no. Not the way this ornery critter of the psyche works. It just wipes off its forehead, says whew, escaped that one, then moves on. The future has enough branches that plenty of things might happen.
Kate had an emotional last quilting session yesterday. Her sewing group made clear how much they would miss her. Not to mention that today the grand piano moves on to a new home. We were surprised to learn, quite some time ago now, that it was worth less than nothing. It would not fit in the new house and it’s too big for Jon and Jen’s.
Kate gifted it to a senior citizen we know well. She plays, but got rid of her piano when they moved into their town house. Now she’ll have a piano on which to practice again. The changes have begun to come faster now. The piano movers, for example, are here right now at 7:15.