Category Archives: Health

Tuesday, Tuesday

Lughnasa and the Korea Moon

Wednesday gratefuls: Shadow, leashed. Sort of. Morning darkness. 40-45 minutes more darkness since the Summer Solstice. Temperate Climates. A feeling of Fall. Natalie. Carol Merz. Paul. Dental hygienist. Luke and the tarot class. Tarot birth cards. Rider-Waite for me: Magician. Wheel of Fortune. Wildwood. The Shaman and the Wheel. The intuitive. The mysterious. Kabbalah.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Luke teaching

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Histapkot. Contentment.

Tarot: Five of Vessels, Ecstasy

“The beat of the universal drum is heard in the soul and it is healthy to surrender for a time and to join the dance. Energy is renewed by bathing in the cosmic life force…”  Parting the Mists

One brief shining: The gradual increase of darkness soothes me, reminds me of the spectacular gold and green of a Rocky Mountain Fall, while also ushering us away from the growing season toward Samain, Holiseason, and that favorite holiday of mine when the soul bathes in the longest night.

 

Yesterday. Talked to buddy Paul. Another call from Carol Merz, the Sloan-Kettering trial psychotherapist. Natalie, the leashing and unleashing of Shadow. My favorite dental hygienist. The last class of Luke’s, The Cards We’re Dealt.

A packed Tuesday. A theme of Paul and mine’s conversation. Persistence. Staying with life, no matter the historical or physiological barriers.

Carol called. Part of the trial for psychotherapy with people over 70 and living with cancer. Helpful, in a modest way. She’s too enthusiastic for my taste. Too attaboy. On the other hand it is good to be reminded of coping strategies.

Natalie came by. An unusual concern. There was a stabbing in Staunton State Park, only 5 minutes from her house. No one was in custody and the description matched a guy who showed up at her house, pressing the doorbell. Ring camera image on her phone.

Her husband had a stroke and can’t walk. A vulnerable adult and she was here on Shadow Mountain. I learned all this at the end of her session. Strange.

We’ve discovered a way to get Shadow on a leash. If she’s in a lap, being cuddled, she doesn’t mind having the leash put on.

I spent 15 minutes walking inside with her leashed. Leaving slack, never pulling her. Letting her get comfortable with the leash. Slowly. Slowly.

Dr. Josy and Natalie have both suggested a second dog. A playmate for Shadow and a role model for how normal dogs behave. I’ve asked them to look for candidates. Today I don’t want a second dog. Maybe I will again tomorrow.

Over to Aspen Dental. Teeth cleaning. Healthy, pale pink gums. No cavities. Lots of laughter. An insurance thang. Grr.

Last session of Luke’s tarot class through Kabbalah Experience. Accomplished its purpose for me. Back into the cards.

After I finish here, I’m going to make a list of cards I pulled during the class. I’ll let you know what if anything I learn from that.

 

 

Waking up

Lughnasa and the Korea Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Professor Luke. Leo, the old. Tuscany Tavern. Rabbi Jamie. Irv. Joe. CBE men’s group. Rain. Hard Rain. Mountains Green. Those forty plus Elk Cows eating Grass in Elk Meadow. Three young Elk Calves crossing with their Mothers. Waiting on them to cross the highway. Mountain Life. Shadow inside when I got home.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: The Elk of Evergreen

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Histapkot. Contentment.

Tarot: Knight of Vessels, the Eel

One brief shining: Rain pelted down as I drove up Shadow Mountain last night, the Air heavy and cool, while the waning light from Great Sol’s shabbat appearance outlined Conifer Mountain and Black Mountain in the mist. Shadow was inside and dry.

 

Yesterday was busy. By my standards. These days. Even though my breakfast with Alan canceled. He has a cold.

At 11:30 into Evergreen. Tuscany Tavern. Professor Colaciello, He starts teaching chemistry tomorrow at Metro Community College. This was a congratulatory lunch. At his choice of spots.

He explained his plans. “I’m going to open with, Chemistry is the science of transformations!” He has five demonstrations to follow that sentence. One using oil and water. Another using a combustible powder that he holds in his palm. A lighter. Why didn’t it flame up? Then he sprinkles it over the lighter and whoosh. Oxygen.

Dry Ice in Water. With a ph strip. The water becomes acidic as the dry Ice dissolves. Showing his dental hygienist students why carbonated liquids can destroy tooth enamel.

Later in the week, in a mildly ironic moment, he will teach his first class in the Chemistry of Cannabis. It’s an industry here and the industry requires educated workers. Part of the track for budding professionals.

Leo sat on the patio with us as we talked, ate our lunch.

 

Home for a nap with my Shadow girl.

Out to King’s Valley and Bear Park Road to pick up Irv for the CBE men’s group. Turn around and drive back to Evergreen to the Synagogue.

Only four of us. Joe Greenberg. Jamie. Irv. And myself. The topic. How to be with someone suffering from depression.

The smaller group allowed us to go deeper than we might have otherwise. Each of us had either been depressed or had a close family member who was, or had been. Not surprising.

Accompanying. Being with the person. Not trying to cheer them up or fix them, but acknowledging their pain. Letting them know you care for them. Realizing that depression has its own logic, never visible to those on the outside.

I shared my experience of waking up a couple of months ago to my dysthemia over the early months of this year. Chronic pain. Struggles with Shadow. Uncertainty about what was going on with my cancer.

When Kate was alive, she had this job, given to her by my analyst, John Desteian. She would say to me, “I sense you’re slipping into melancholy.” That would help me wake up, earlier. Kate’s gone now. Had to wake myself up. Harder.

 

Bracing

Lughnasa and the Korea Moon

Friday gratefuls: Ginny and Janice. Annie and Luna. Shadow and friends. Warmish morning. Beets growing taller. Spinach spreading its still small leaves. Kale as well. Tomatoes fruiting. Growing. Waiting on Soil for the East facing bed. Marny Eulberg. Post-polio syndrome. Post-polio survivors. Like me. Her butterfly garden.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: My neck muscles that have worked so hard all these years

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah:  Hakarat Hatov. Recognizing the good

Tarot: The Journey, #13 of the major arcana

One brief shining: Bend your neck to the left, now press against my hand, bend to the right, press against my hand, put your chin on your chest, oh yes, you can only go 10 degrees to the left but almost 40 to the right. Thank you, Marny.

 

Health: Yesterday was post-polio day. I drove down to Wheatridge, a charming place to my surprise, with brick homes, old businesses in older buildings, tree-lined streets. Marny’s home was on a cul-de-sac with five other large houses. Hers stood out because her front yard has a Butterfly Garden instead of Grass. I liked her already.

She met me at the door, her right leg braced, a slight hitch in her step. Gray-haired, a bit plump, with a red t-shirt featuring an Elephant. A grandma, crone figure.

Inside a large open room with a tiled floor, a kitchen area and a living area together. Her dog, a friendly cockapoo with an absurdly long tail licked my hand.

At her invitation I sat at her kitchen table. Two old folks, survivors of the pre-1950 polio epidemic. She handed me some literature about post-polio organizations including one in Colorado.

She read my answers to her new patient three page form, asking me questions as she did. No, no surgeries. Yes, breathing support. Iron lung.

She had me take off my t-shirt and manipulated my neck. All this to create a prescription for the orthotist. A brace-maker. She showed me examples. Similar to one’s used for people who’ve broken their neck. I like this one. Minimalist.

Not sure how often I’ll use whatever one I get. Driving. Yes. In the backyard with Shadow. Yes. Because I tend to walk with my head down I run into Lodgepole Branches. If I get enough pain recession, while hiking. Maybe even at meetings later in the day when my muscles wear down.

I need to have it though because my neck has gotten worse over the past year. Maybe I’ll get comfortable enough with it to wear it more often.

 

Tarot: The Journey. #13 on the Wanderer’s spiritual path through the Wildwood. A little over midway. The Journey card acknowledges death as a part of life’s journey, the end of a life. I can take it at its most literal since the end of my journey has come closer and closer. True of all of us in our late seventies. A step along the way.

I can also take the card as a sign of inner change. Accepting my disabilities. Back pain. Neck atrophy. Accepting my prostate cancer and its own destination. This is, come to think of it, my year kavannah, my intention to live fully into wu wei. Going with life as it presents itself. Going with flow. This is where the winding stream of my life has brought me and I’m fine with letting this kayak bob and weave on its remaining bends and pools and rapids.

 

Staying in it

Lughnasa and the Korea Moon

Wednesday Gratefuls: Kai. Randy. Ginny and Janice. Shadow, hunter of Chipmunks. More green Fruiting Bodies on the Tomato Plants. A dark, warm Morning. Marny Eulberg, post-polio specialist. Hernia. Natalie. Her observations of Shadow. Tom, Roxann, Sylvan. Washington. Korea. Malaysia. Australia. Saud Arabia. USA.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Nerve ablation

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah:  Hakarot Hatov. Recognizing the Good

Tarot: Ace of Bows, the spark of life

One brief shining: Collar over the wrist, the attached leash held in a circle bigger than Shadow’s head, left hand with treats, drawing Shadow through the circle, letting her remain there, then pulling the circle back over her head before she can back out, comfort with collar and leash. Slowly. Slowly.

 

Dog journal: Natalie told me anyone else would have returned Shadow to the shelter. Shadow is a free spirit, traumatized therefore always ready to flee, and smart, recognizing dangers to her freedom quickly.

It has been difficult, these last seven months. There were times when I thought neither I nor she could take much more. Yet we’re both stubborn and share a desire for a strong relationship. Believe we’ve got there. Satisfying.

When I look over and see her coiled up next to me in the bed. When she comes running, full tilt, smiling after I call her. When she throws a sock in the air, rolls the ball filled with treats with her nose, performs squeakectomies on stuffed toys. I smile and see the mature dog still hidden by age and past wounds.

Natalie believes an Animal Control Officer used a rabies pole with their wire or cable loops to rescue Shadow from the fire. A frightened puppy already, the rabies pole would only make her fear human contact even more. This seems more than likely to me. Probable.

As I said a while back, Shadow’s history and mine will be written together.

Health: Been having trouble holding my head up for a while now. No. Not shame. Polio. An atrophied muscle in my neck. People would ask me if I felt OK and I’d always say yes, not realizing my head tilted to the right and down. As you can see in the picture.

Now it’s difficult to hold my head up without support. I first learned of this problem in gym class in Junior High. We were learning situps. I had my hands apart over my head, went up toward my knees, then back down and my head dribbled on the floor like a basketball. Hurt.

I was young and that motion is not required often IRL. My other neck muscles compensated. No more hands above head situps and I was good.

Flash forward fifty plus years. Sarcopenia has set in and those compensating muscles have grown tired. Result: looking down as I walk rather than looking ahead. Get hit by low hanging Lodgepole Branches when I’m working with Shadow.

Decided to see an expert in post-polio syndrome, Marny Eulberg. Mostly retired she works out of her house now, does evaluations and prescriptions for assistive devices.

I called her yesterday. She was working in her garden. When she got to her calendar, she said, hmmm. How about this Thursday at 10? Fast. Also, she charges. Nothing. A lifework for her.

When I told her I had bulbar polio, she said, “Oh, that puts you in the 1 or 2 percent right away.” She also said that neck involvement was rare. Like bulbar polio.

Looking forward to meeting her, talking with someone who gets this odd and long lasting dilemma.

The Future?

Lughnasa and the Korea Moon

Monday gratefuls: My son and Seoah back home. Murdoch was happy. The Jangs back to Gwangju and Okgwa. Chilly morning. Rain last night. Feels like Fall. Hearing check. Natalie at noon. Edith Wharton. The Gilded Age. When robber barons ruled the U.S. Teddy Roosevelt, who broke up their trusts. The turning of the wheel

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Jet travel

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Hakarat Hatov. Recognizing the good.

Tarot: Seven of Vessels, Mourning.

One brief shining: Leaves gone from simple to complex, seed husks discarded, young stalks pushing upward, reaching for Great Sol, Kale, Spinach, Beets, Nasturtiums, Squash all outside the greenhouse where Tomatoes grow, pollinating themselves, yellow blossoms turning to green bulbous growth on their way to redness.

 

Dog journal: Shadow and I have settled into a nice rhythm. Up at 4:30 to 5:00. A bit of training and cuddling. She goes outside, comes back in around 6. I feed her at 6:45, a bit more training after which she heads outside where she’ll amuse herself until naptime.

Out again after the nap. I go outside at least twice each day to play with her, walk the yard dropping treats. Sometime around 6 pm she either comes in on her own, about 50% of the time, or I pour her food into her bowl which always gets her inside. I close the door and she’s inside for the night.

The next barrier. The leash. Natalie comes today. Our focus.

 

Health: Hearing check today. Don’t expect any changes. May discuss the new AI assisted aids. Tom seems to have had good luck with those though I don’t know whether he bought a new pair.

Visit with Sue Bradshaw last week. She met Joseph. I asked her for a referral to a post-polio doc. Specifically for my neck. Which I find wobbles and tilts. Annoying.

 

The Jangs: My son sent me a message on WhatsApp. Back on base. Murdoch’s tail wagging, wagging, wagging.

Appa and Umma have returned to Okgwa and their truck farm. They left it on its own for the week. Though a rice growers co-op member came by to check on the rice crop.

Mikyung, Seoah’s sister, whose name I misspelled earlier, her husband, and two kids have gone back to Gwangju.

Gathering and dispersing. The way of families in this mobile age. Why this Jang, Ellis, Olson clan has so many different locations: Melbourne, K.L., Osan, Gwangju, Okgwa, Shadow Mountain, Longmont (Ruth), Denver (Gabe). And, Diane in San Francisco.

I used to think this was a problem, and it presents some in the matter of emergencies, but more and more I see at as a feature, not a bug. We are more flexible in our political affiliations and we can support pluralistic, socialist like governments in our home countries while supporting each other in theirs.

Also, I no longer feel quite so attached to the USA. I have a bit of Australian, Korean, Saudi Arabian, and Malaysian patriotism, too. That is, I feel bound to the political actions and their results of those countries as well.

Perhaps this is the future?

Renewing my lease

Lughnasa and the Korea Moon

Shabbat gratefuls: United flight 806. An hour out of San Francisco. United flight 1702 to Denver. Cool night. Rain. The Monsoons. Shadow out at 3 am. Now inside and hungry. Family. Friends. Alan and his Hawaiian shirt. The Bread Lounge. Artemis and her beds. Shadow Mountain high.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: My son and Seoah here tonight.

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ahavah. Love.

Tarot:  The Pole Star. #17*  What do the cards have to say to me today?

One brief shining: According to Flight Tracker United 806 has crossed the wide Pacific to within 46 minutes of San Francisco and the continental U.S., bearing within itself loved ones from far away Korea, all seated near each other some old, some young, all on an adventure of a lifetime for the Jang family of Okgwa.

 

Artemis: Had to rig a twine support for another fast growing Tomato Stalk. Will have to do more once Fruiting starts, heavy. I’m ready. I have Tomato metal and plastic supports, more twine.

Nathan comes today to finish work on Artemis. He’ll be tidying up electrical cords, adding cold frames, lapping the Cedar shakes. If he thinks it will work, he may also drill holes in the hail protection overlap from the greenhouse roof. My idea. Let some rain through while still blocking hail.

Together we’ll have to come up with some solution for irrigation on the east facing raised bed. All in the process of learning how to make Artemis function best. This is a shake-down season. Though. I’d say the greenhouse has already proved its mettle. Go Tomatoes!

 

Exercise: Once again up to 150 minutes of moderate exercise. Feels so good. Improves my mood and, as a new study shows, also fights cancer.

A combination of cardio on the treadmill, p.t. exercises aimed at my aching back and legs, plus upper body workouts designed with the help of Chatgpt.

Moving my treadmill, mats, weight bench, weights and kettle bells down to Kate’s old sewing room has helped. In fact, I got in 30 minutes of cardio yesterday in 10 minute increments. I set my timer for an hour. When it goes off, I get up and go to the treadmill, walk for 10 minutes. Easy peasy.

 

Tarot: The Pole Star, one of the major arcana marking the wanderer’s journey through the Wildwood. Offering guidance toward the end of the pilgrimage.

Could be, probably will be, the start of a new phase of my life. Shadow and I have made great strides. Artemis has already got my full gardener’s attention. I know what’s next for my back and leg pain. These all represent a strong move into a more co-creative life.

With my son, Seoah, and her family here for a week starting tonight I can see the outlines of a new relationship to the Jangs. Closer than before.

I also plan to talk to my son and Seoah about family matters, discuss what might happen if I go into a decline (not planning on it, but then do we ever?), remind them of the estate, the living wills, the medical power of attorney.

 

 

*Spiritual Guidance:
It signifies a connection to universal wisdom and the power of your intuition. The card encourages you to listen to your inner voice and trust the guidance it offers. 

  • Healing and Integration:
    This card represents a period of healing and integration, where you can…embrace wholeness. It’s a time to let your guard down and allow yourself to be nurtured by the holistic energy of the universe. 

  • New Beginnings:
    The Pole Star can also indicate the start of a new phase in your life, a time to step forward with renewed optimism and a sense of purpose.  Gemini

 

 

 

 

A Zoomer

Summer and the Korea Moon

Thursday gratefuls: Maddie, palliative care nurse. Diane, who speaks to Giants. My son, Seoah, and the rest of the Jangs, nearing liftoff. Morning Darkness. Fulfillment. Shadow, zoomer. MIA podcast, The Object. The Jade Mountain. One Corner Ma. Song dynasty ceramics. That perfect 3,000 year old clay pot. The Pillsbury Bronzes. Asian art.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Asian art

Year kavannah: Wu Wei

Week kavannah: Yirah. Awe.

Tarot: Three of Arrows, fulfillment.

One brief shining: Once again into the exam room: height, 5.5; weight 135; O2 95%, BP 124/72, and what pain brings you to us today, oh you know back, leg, hip; thank you, Christopher will be in to see you shortly.

 

Health and Tarot: I posted this yesterday as a short summary for the Page of Arrows, the Hawk-“A quicksilver messenger of fate, the Hawk can help and support you to see through layers of doubt and uncertainty to the problem at the heart of the matter. Be swift and use your common sense to progress.”

After I met with Christopher at Colorado Pain, a referral from my pain doc, Kylie, at Mountain View Pain, I did see the heart of the matter. Both Kylie and I were letting the best get in the way of the good.

chatgpt representation of nerve ablation

Nerve ablation works. It produces relief for about a year and can be repeated. The SPRINT device does not yet have much real world experience. That was clear when Christopher, the Colorado Pain P.A, said he knew no one that had used it. Kylie hadn’t either.

He introduced another device, a dorsal nerve stimulator. Though I trusted him, his expensive silk shirt, abstract silk tie, and his tasseled loafers yelled at me. This guy is a pitchman.

Which Kylie is not. Far from it. She saw duty in Iraq as a P.A. and knows of Joe. We both saw the promise of the SPRINT device and wanted it for me. But. Insurance plus low experience has suggested to me that the nerve ablation makes the most sense. I can wait a year, maybe two, have pain relief and see if SPRINT develops traction. If it does, I’ll get one. If not, I’ll get another ablation.

 

Artemis: The west facing raised bed, first in line for the irrigation, has many sprouts of Chard, Spinach, and Beets. The east facing bed does not receive adequate Water pressure and has very few Sprouts. Learning about Artemis. Have to figure out a way to get more Water over there.

Many small yellow flowers, an acrid Tomato Plant smell, green stalks reaching for the ceiling, the greenhouse continues to create favorable growing traditions for the Tomato Plants.

 

Dog journal: Shadow runs. And runs. And runs. Her short legs propelling her around the yard, through the Trees, often with her chipmunk (a toy) in her mouth or as yesterday, a yellow tennis ball.

I want to get the leash on her, but I don’t want to set back the progress we’ve made over the last couple of weeks. I’m going to let Natalie do the heavy lifting on leash training.

500 MPH

Summer and the Korea Moon

Wednesday gratefuls: Shirley Waste. Shadow, the seeker in the dark. Russian Kale. Chioggia Beets. Bloomsdale Spinach. Sprouting. Rainbow Chard. Rocket Arugula. Lettuce Lolla Rossa. Peeking out. Tomatoes blooming. Squash, too. 8.8 Earthquake. Tsunami. A dangerous Mother. The Jang itinerary. Artemis. Baseball. Football. Soccer. Basketball.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Sprouts

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Yirah. Awe.

Tarot: The Knight of Arrows. Hawk.  What do the cards have to tell me today?

One brief shining: Ended my p.t. with Halle after 19 sessions, back to my own routine with cardio, upper and lower body days, feeling the burn, the muscle memory taking over, an habituated expectation that on this exercise my body needs to do this. Serious grind.

 

chatgpt couldn’t get the number of people right. But you see the idea

The Jangs: My son sent out an itinerary for their 7 days here. A possible list of things to do. Ride the Georgetown Railroad. Museum of Natural History and Science. Dinosaur Ridge. Water activities on Evergreen Lake. Guanella Pass. Those sorts of things.

Have to take into account age, too. Two elderly, two kids, two middle-aged adults. Not to mention diet. The first, highest priority item? A visit to H-Mart for food suitable for a Korean palate.

It’s one thing transitioning from an American diet (if you can grace hamburgers, meatloaf, potatoes, peas, and corn with that lofty word) to the subtle and varied Korean diet. Quite another to go from Korean to American.

Seoah’s a pro at this though, so it will be no problem. My son, too.

 

Dog journal: Shadow and I have both lowered our stress levels. Her coming inside for her evening meal makes night time easy. Her coming up on the bed at naptime and sometime (earlier now) in the night signals her growing security. This makes me happy.

 

Mother Earth: Kamchatka Peninsula. 8.8 temblor 90 miles off its Coast. One of the strongest ever recorded. Underwater fault lines slip. Water rushes up to 500 mph. It’s the sudden stop on this Coast or that one. Water rises at speed, sweeping Rock, Sand, Buildings, Animals, people as it does.

She’s a dangerous lady, our Mother.

 

Health: Going to Colorado Pain today for a consultation. Hopefully leading to the implanting of a SPRINT device.

My pain level has receded with p.t., some modest help from steroid injections, and the car seat cushion. Receded, but not gone. My mobility remains limited. Bending over painful enough to make me avoid it.

Also. On Monday I had on odd experience. Deanna, the ultrasound technician was deaf. She spoke in a stilted way, watching my lips.

She had it down. I admired her ability to succeed in a hearing dominate world.

As she said, “Two ohdurs. Hernia. Scrrotum.” She pointed to the words on her paper. I nodded. Trying to find the source of my pain two Sunday’s ago.

In Lakewood. 101 degrees. I drove back up the hill as soon as we finished.

 

*A quicksilver messenger of fate, the Hawk can help and support you to see through layers of doubt and uncertainty to the problem at the heart of the matter. Be swift and use your common sense to progress.

Energize

Summer and the Korea Moon

Tuesday gratefuls: Hernia ultrasound. Scrotal ultrasound. Prolia shot. Colorado Pain tomorrow. All Drs., all the time. Western medicine. Ruby. Her air conditioning. 101 degrees in Lakewood yesterday. Drip irrigation. Artemis’ heater and exhaust fan. Those Tomato Plants. Healthy. Some Chard sprouting. Morning darkness. The Great Bear. Stars in the morning Sky.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: The deaf ultrasound tech

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Yirah. Awe.

Tarot: The Great Bear, #20.  How can I energize my creativity?

One brief shining: On a gurney, again, Deanna holding the ultrasound wand, giving me directions like bear down, cough in her deaf inflected voice, asking me a question like when did you have your hernia repair then turning to see my lips move, when watching the ultrasound image, she leaned back in an attitude of stiff concentration.

 

Imaging: MRIs. P.E.T. Scan. X-ray. Now ultrasound. A tour of the look inside crew. Completed in three months. Like winning all the majors on the golf circuit. Sort of.

Charlie Petersen, my old Internist who moved to Steamboat many years ago, often said, “Each of us is a black box.” Imaging techniques try to peer inside the black box, take away some of the mystery. But they’re only as good as the interpreter. AI has proven to be very skilled at this particular task. Radiologists plus AI yield better understanding than we had before.

Glad we have these technologies, not so glad I have to make use of so many of them, so often.

 

Tarot: The Great Bear, #20 of the major arcana, out of 21. The major arcana represent the fool’s journey, or, in the Wildwood Tarot’s instance, the wanderer’s. The Great Bear appears as the next to last step on the journey before #21, the World Tree.

The card shows a passage tomb between two great Oaks, a Polar Bear guarding the entrance. Inside the tomb the wanderer lies, experiencing death as a passage way from one life to another, a transformation, a rebirth.

The Great Bear’s position on the Great Wheel of the Year corresponds to the Winter Solstice. That annual opportunity to die to one’s old self on the longest night and be reborn in a world illuminated by the burning of the Yule log.

As I thought about my question, how can I energize my creativity, I realized the Great Bear called me to see. See that I laid in the tomb for much of this year, changing again into a Dog companion with Shadow, into a gardener with Artemis, connecting again with Mother Earth in a co-creative way, linking my life again to a Dog’s.

They have, each in their own way, opened my lev, my heart-mind. Through them I see myself as an intimate with the world of growing, changing lives. Both energizing my creativity and mutual expressions of it. The long struggle with Shadow, learning her ways and helping her adapt to mine. Artemis teaching me about raised beds, about drip irrigation, about a greenhouse where I can regulate the temperature, make the Tomato Plants happy.

The left Reverend Doctor Israel Herme Harari.

 

 

Intuitive Connection to the One

Summer and the Greenhouse Moon II

Friday gratefuls: Joanne. Alan. Gabe. Ruth. Marilyn and Irv. New trowel and cultivator. Planting the fall garden. Cold frame. Nathan. Mandela Day. Monsoons. Ginny. Janice. The Wildwood Deck. Shadow coming in. Halle, leaving on Aug. 8th. The Jang’s. Arriving Aug. 2nd. P.T. Ultrasound.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Life, well lived.

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Patience. Savlanut

Tarot:  The Page of Arrows, Wren.

 

One brief shining: In the mail, a new trowel and cultivator, Tomato cages, ready for the planting of a fall garden that will make use of the cold frames Nathan has devised for Artemis’ outside raised bed and for the Tomato plants in the greenhouse that have bloomed and gotten so big.

 

Artemis: Blooms! It’s one thing to grow Tomato Plants, another to grow Tomatoes. A balance struck between Plant and Fruit. So far it looks like a good balance. The Plants need support, growing tall. Got some modular Tomato cages in the mail yesterday.

Working on the fall garden today and tomorrow. Nathan has designed cold frames for the two raised beds which should be enough to get this mid-summer planting past the first frosts in September.

All an experiment this year. Next year in the Spring I’ll start my own plants in the greenhouse well before the last frosts in late May. I would say this year and next will be about learning how best to utilize Artemis. She and the seasons will teach me.

 

Dog journal: A late evening feeding. Shadow has begun to come in for the night. I think, I hope, this will last. She associates coming in around 6 with her evening meals. I close the door and she’s inside until morning. Morning comes around 4-5 a.m.

Slowly, slowly.

 

Organ recital: Oh, hell. I get so tired of this. No ultrasound scheduled yet. Halle at P.T. gave me pointers on how to avoid aggravating a possible hernia.

Next week Wednesday I go to Colorado Pain for a consultation and possible scheduling of the SPRINT device. The steroid injection seems to have had no effect on my hip.

Nothing new with the cancer. Which is good news.

 

Tarot: The Page of Arrows-Wren*. Today’s question: How can I celebrate Mother Earth here on Shadow Mountain? The Druid’s considered the Wren a sacred bird, know for its wisdom and cunning.

In Kabbalah all of the court cards: Ace, King, Queen, Knight, and Page relate to Chochma, the divine attribute of wisdom on the Tree of Life.

The suit of Arrows in the Wildwood deck corresponds to the Spirit realm, to the element of Fire, and to the level of soul that transcends thought and represents a direct intuitive connection to the One.

I read all of this to mean that Artemis, the Lodgepoles, the Aspens, the Swallowtails, the Pentstemons, Grasses, Bear Paw, Ants, Squirrels, Chipmunks, Rabbits, Canadian and Blue Jays, Magpies, Robins, Mule Deer and Elk, Moose, Mountain Lions, Foxes, and Bears speak to my intuition, to my direct connection to the One through careful observation and care for them all.

I’ll close today with this Celtic lore:

Bards told of a contest to see which Bird could fly the highest. Many Birds competed, but the Eagle felt confident. He did not notice the Wren that rode up on his back, then flew above Eagle’s highest reach to win.

Cunning, yes. Fair? Not really. Still the Wren, one of the tiniest Birds in all of Great Britain defeated much more capable competitors.

 

*Shifting Energy:

The Page of Arrows, or Wren, marks a transition from the active, sometimes impulsive energy of the Arrows (akin to Wands in traditional tarot) to a more grounded, observant, and introspective phase.

    • Wisdom and Cunning:
      The Wren is a symbol of wisdom, cunning, and a deep understanding of the natural world. It suggests that you can achieve your goals through a combination of intelligence, observation, and strategic thinking. 
      Youthful Curiosity:
      The card encourages you to embrace your inner child’s curiosity and approach new situations with an open mind and a willingness to learn. 

Earthly Page Energy:

The Wren is often depicted as a small bird that stays close to the ground, symbolizing the earthy Page energy of the Wildwood Tarot. This suggests that you should ground your ambitions and focus on practical application of your skills. 
Gemini