Samhain                                                                           Thanksgiving Moon

That mattress guy. Randy. I called Mattress Firm, a location on Colorado Avenue, mostly because it was somewhat close to Groundswell, the cannabis boutique we wanted to see.

Randy was eager. “If you come in tomorrow, I’ll give you two free pillows, a free mattress pad, free delivery and the $300 off for the Veteran’s Day Sale.” We wanted a tempurpedic mattress, Mattress Firm sold them and Randy wanted our business. So yesterday we dropped by to see Randy.

Randy, 58, had a watch larger than a silver dollar with a band and case of a mother of pearl like substance, white. His face had a flattened, slightly toad like look, unusual. His clothing would have been appropriate in church save for lack of a tie.

He remembered me. “Charlie, good to meet you. And this is?” Kate.

Over the course of much lying down we learned a lot about Randy. This store had been Mattress King, but they got bought out about a year and a half ago, and Mattress Firm was “Much better. They really cleaned the place up. And I didn’t know whether I could stand the change. It’s been a tough year and a half.”

He went away and came back with two pillows, “Kate,  you’re a side sleeper. You’ll like this latex pillow. Charlie, you’re a stomach sleeper?” Yes, I said. “You’ll like this one, you want your head close to the mattress. This one has bigger circles, means it flattens down more than the one with the smaller circles.” OK.

Like a magician, the Great Randy, he produced a pint size jelly jar with a blue liquid and a cloth stretched over its top. “See, this is the mattress pad. Zero dollars. Smell the windex? Now feel the top.” The top was dry. “Any accident, pet, other on this mattress pad, nothing gets through. Nothing. And, it breathes. That’s why you can smell the windex.” Randy throws it on the bed, letting it bounce around, seemingly ready to spill. Randy the showman.

“Kate, you’re petite, so you don’t need the firm. You won’t press it down. This one is softer, it will conform to you. And, it’s cool. Tempurpedics don’t sleep hot. Feel this tinsel mattress cover. Cool, right?”

Later Randy told us about his brother, “A bad guy. But he had an accident, wrapped his SUV around a pole. He was dead at the crash site, but they revived him. Then, he died twice at the hospital. Only one in ten would survive that, but he survived. And now he’s changed. He goes to church, is in the Knights of Columbus. A changed guy.”

“I had to learn the computer, the new process. I like the new process. It’s better. I’m glad I learned it.” This while Randy input our order. “I’m the Felix Unger of Mattress Firm. My store’s clean. My bathroom’s clean. Neat. And they keep it up. See that sign out there? New. Mattress King’s was bad.”

Randy also didn’t get his pick of his stores, but he was happy he ended up here. “My last store, you just sat back.” He tilted back in his big padded office chair, stared at the ceiling. “All I got there were customers from the Taco Bell. They ate their food in my parking lot. I didn’t mind. But when they threw their trash out? Meh.”

“I live up north. Moved in with my brother. Good for both of us.” He sighed, “I’ve learned if you poke the keys over and over, he doesn’t like it. Slows down. So, I just wait.” The big dell monitor divided Randy from us. I had a bottle of water, cold. He’d asked if I preferred warm or cold.

“So. Two pillows. Zero dollars. Mattress pad. Zero dollars. Delivery. Zero dollars. It’s all on here. $200 off the mattress. Rotate it every 3 months, the first two years, then 6 months. If you have any problems, just call the number. They’ll take care of it.”

At that point two women walked in. “Just finishing up here. I’ll be right with you,” Randy said.