Category Archives: Reimagine. Reconstruct. Reenchant.

Don’t Leave Town

Summer                                                   Healing Moon

With the waning healing moon 13% full I have been healed.

Here’s an analogy. One April day when the air is a bit cool and daffodils have broken through, yellow against the gray, a stranger comes up to you, perhaps at home or at a bus stop, in the grocery store.

“I have something to tell you. You have been chosen at random to be put on trial for a terrible crime. The maximum penalty for this crime is death.”

“Wait,” you say, “What do you mean? How is that possible?”

“You’ll know more after an initial hearing before the judge. Until then keep yourself available. Don’t leave town.”

A month later, in a Gothic courthouse, you visit a judge who opens your file.

“Hmm. Well. This is all in order. Yes. Sorry you had to be chosen, but these things happen all the time, you know. I’ll call with the results of the trial in about a week. Don’t leave town.”

Shaken even more than when you met the stranger, you go home. You don’t leave town.

“This is the clerk of court calling. Is this X?”

“Yes.”

“You have been found guilty and the sentence is death. You’ll be under house arrest since the execution date is not certain. Sometime in the future. Don’t leave town.”

Stunned, you fall back in your recliner. In every way you feel the same as you did before the stranger came except for your various reactions to his news. Anger, fear, courage, hopelessness, resistance, frayed anxiety. Now this.

“Hello, X?”

“Yes.”

“The judge has decided to hold another hearing on your case. Please come back to the courthouse on this date. Thank you.”

On a day almost 3 months from the stranger’s visit, you climb in your car in the dark. They’ve set the hearing for a very early hour. On the way you realize this might be your last chance. You consider the suddenness, the arbitrary nature of your guilt. And you feel afraid. Again.

The hearing is long and you are present, but can neither hear nor see. Hours later you awake in a prison cell, disoriented. You don’t remember why you are there. Slowly, it comes back. The trial, the sentencing, the final hearing.

A jailer in blue prison garb says, “You’re free to go. The report of your hearing will be available in three to five days. Don’t leave town.”

Unbalanced and unsteady from the hearing process your wife drives you home, this time through dense rush hour traffic. At home you gradually put the hearing behind you.

On a quiet afternoon three days later the phone rings. You pick it up. It’s the judge.

“X. How are you feeling? I see. Well, let’s get right to it. The panel looked over your case and decided to set you free. No capital punishment. You may leave town whenever you wish.”

 

 

Yet Another Appointment

Summer                                                                   Healing Moon

Today is my pre-op/post-op consultation with Dr. Eigner’s physician’s assistant, Ann. She’ll go over what I need to do for surgery prep, what we can expect during the surgery and immediately after, then give us post-op instructions. My level of comfort with all this is substantially higher with Kate involved, both because she’ll be there to hear what I miss and because her own skills make her over-qualified to help me before and after surgery.

I continue to sleep well, have no symptoms (none expected, but still good). Since we are now 10 days out, I’ve stopped my aspirin. My feelings have become more labile as the surgery approaches, which makes sense to me.

The surgery itself has a paradoxical quality, as I imagine many such surgeries do. The paradox is this. It offers me real hope, an opportunity to continue my third phase cancer free. And, that, of course, is the reason for the surgery. On the other hand it has attendant pain and discomfort, improbable but possible complications.

It also might reveal that the cancer is worse than we imagine.  My staging included the seemingly innocent, NxMx. The N refers to the status of the lymph nodes near the prostate and the M refers to possible metastasis, or the spread of the cancer to the rest of the body. The x means unknown.

This is where the paradox becomes strong, intense. The surgery might (probably will) move me past this whole episode. In that case, hallelujah. Or, it might dash that hope and begin another series of tests and treatments. In that case, uh-oh.

The good news is that if Eigner had suspected lymph node or metastatic involvement he would have ordered imaging studies prior to surgery. He didn’t. That’s a positive sign, but only that. We won’t know until the surgery is over, perhaps not even then. We may have to wait on the pathology report, or even the first few p.s.a readings in the year + after surgery.

My emotions ride along the trajectory of which outcome dominates my mood. Most of the time I imagine negative margins on the removed prostate. That means no cancer cells in the tissue surrounding the removed organ. Not definite relative to NxMx, but very positive. Occasionally my rational side will bring me up short while I’m feeling good about this most likely outcome. Wait, it says. You might be right, but what if you’re wrong. Then, you’re feelings will fall from the height of hope to the canyon of uncertainty. Oh. Right.

When rationality moves me to consider all the possible outcomes, then I can slip into fear. One problem with an active imagination (7 novels and one underway) is that I have no difficulty following the path of more tests, more treatment all the way to death. The first feeling that comes in the wake of that thought is fear.

I’ve worked out over the last 50 or so years, a philosophical position that calms me before the fear dominates and shakes my foundations. Usually. Nothing’s 100 percent. I’ve expressed it elsewhere. The short version is: something, some time. It’s buttressed too by my belief that life is the mystery, death is ordinary. And those rocks around Turkey Creek and Deer Creek Canyon roads. The ones that have been here so much longer than I’ve been alive and will be here so much longer after I die.

 

Gold Dust

Summer                                                             Healing Moon

pollen2300Gold dust has rained down on us since early June. It’s not residue from the Pike’s Peak Gold Rush, but pollen from the many pines. So fine that it passes through screens, it coats furniture, floors, computer screens, door sills and window sills. Yesterday evening we had a sudden, violent downpour of rain. The rain collected the gold dust, then spread it on our driveway in Fibonacci inspired whorls. Daughter-in-law Jen has nostalgia for the time of the pine pollen from growing up in North Carolina.

upstairs downstairs
upstairs, downstairs

About the same time we moved into what the weather folks identify as a more typical pattern, warming and drier. Our house, which has no air conditioning, stays cool in the mornings, evenings and nights, but afternoon can be a challenge. That fact has moved purchasing ceiling fans up on our priority list. Even before, Kate says, the new cooktop, oven refrigerator, and dishwasher. So, pretty important.

Finding the self difficult to nourish right now. Instead of the usual avenues I wrote about yesterday I read, watched a movie, did small chores. Still in distraction mode rather than introspection. It will pass.

Vega, Gertie and Kep all come up to the loft to keep me company. They come upstairs; they go downstairs. Busy.

 

Nourishing the Self

Summer                                                      Healing Moon

Finding myself driven into my Self, wanting to nourish my soul/Self, my inner life, needing to do that. Mood a bit down, usually precedes inner work, and I plan to follow that thread today.

I may use the intensive journal, read some poetry, look into some books on the inner life. Meditate. Maybe hike a bit.

The tomorrow wall has gone back up, closing off my dreams for the future. This is not bad. It focuses me on the here, the now, but I will not allow this wall to stand after July 8th. No matter what the final pathology report says I plan to regain my usual rhythm. Write. Translate. Explore Colorado. Learn new things. Go out with Kate, the grandkids.

An example of what’s going through my mind right now. In traffic on I-70 yesterday, headed east, away from the mountains, I looked at all the cars and trucks and buses filling lanes, six lanes altogether, going east and west. Unbidden came the thought that all these drivers, all the passengers will get taken off the board.

This traffic, filled with strangers on unknown journeys to unknown destinations, purposeful and not, was a moment in history. And history’s tide would wash over it, sweeping in its wake all the souls present.

This was not a dark thought, rather a descriptive realization, offered to me, I think, by my unconscious. Why? To place my current predicament in context. Am I going to die? Yes. And so are all these others. As have all the others who lived, say, 120 years ago.

Life is a tale told by fallible beings…

Summer                                                                        Healing Moon

It would be easy to assume that the world is worse off now than it has ever been. Bernie Sanders calls the various smaller wars going on around the world, “World War III in segments.” There was an article in today’s NYT called for a new period of black radicalism. Not difficult to see why. The gap between the 1% and the 99% has widened, it has become not a gap but a canyon, a Grand Canyon. We can see each other across the canyon’s width but the distance is so great that the people on the other rim appear faintly, if at all.

The ocean’s acidify, the average temperature goes up, the ice caps melt and Shell Oil heads to the Arctic to drill oil wells. When the price of gas goes down a bit, Americans shift away from fuel economy to bigger and faster. Some scientists contend we are in the midst of a sixth great extinction, this one anthropogenic.

And yes, the macro view, the perspective from above, has all these things and so many more to see: poverty, epidemics, drought and water crises, forest desertification.

Yet. Men and women, men and men, women and women fall in love, get married. Babies are born, joy coming into the world with them. Children learn about the Wizard of Oz or Tin Tin or Ganesh or the Monkey King. They play in alleys, parks, war zones, schools and forests. Dreams and hopes trail in their wake like the contrails from a jet.

Here’s what I believe. We are a destructive, adaptive, mean, resilient, loving, biased species. When we push ourselves too far in war, in climate change, in racism and sexism, in concentrations of wealth and power, we take corrective actions. Clumsy and too hopeful probably, ill thought out and filled with flaws, yet with enough right to get us past the current mess.

Life is not a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury signifying nothing. Life is a tale told by fallible creatures, full of love and misguided dreams, signifying everything.

A Paradox. (more on dealing with cancer. if this bums you out, skip it.)

Summer                                                                Healing Moon

I’m sleeping fine. I don’t feel that jittery, too many cups of coffee acidity in my stomach. I know what regular anxiety feels like, having been all too familiar with it for many years. Aches in my bunched up shoulders. Uncertain about my worth, what I should do. Waves of small fear about what now seem like the silliest things. For example, will the clerks at Best Buy demand to see my driver’s license if I pay by check? And refuse to let me use the check?

So it’s easy to assume that I’m not anxious. Easy for me to assume that. Yet, if I step back a minute, I’m not writing, I’m not doing my Latin. The tomorrow wall rises more often than it falls, not allowing my thoughts and dreams past July 8th. I am, in these significant ways, distracted, not feeling well, dis-eased.

I want to be cool about this, not degenerate into the life of a patient whose every waking moment is taken up with illness, with matters of medicine. That’s no life. That’s waiting for life. Cancer is, however, hard to ignore. This is one of the more difficult struggles in my life.

Trusting the diagnosis, the treatment feels both justified (I’m confident in the pathology, the physical findings, the PSA jump. I trust Dr. Eigner’s experience and his approach.) and necessary. No second guessing, I say to myself, at this point. You know what you’re up against, you’ve weighed the options and made a decision, just let all that play out. I’m doing that. That’s why I can sleep at night, why I don’t feel those frank expressions of anxiety.

I realize, of course, the irony of writing this. It focuses on the very thing I’m saying I want to let be, but I’m living in just that paradox. I feel confident about my decisions and about the probability of their resulting in a cure. At the same time there is this part of my body that no longer participates in the general keep Charlie healthy idea. All of these things persist and tumble around in me at the same time.

This comes, too, after an interstate move complicated by what felt like a very long time to sell our Minnesota house. Becoming integrated into the family here in Colorado has not been as easy as we had hoped either. It’s getting better, we’re all learning how to appreciate each others needs and feelings, but it’s not been what we imagined, at least not at first. It has been family, with joy and travail.

Laying this down as a record, an in this moment statement of how I am. Take it for what it’s worth.

Bibliotherapy

Beltane                                                                 Healing Moon

My father’s day present from Kate is a session with the bibliotherapists at the School of Life. I’ll write more about it after I’ve had my session, but I wanted to share here the questionnaire they send out in advance. Later, I’ll post my answers. Meanwhile, these are interesting questions to ponder.

I’m seeking their thoughts on a reading plan for the next few years. Feels like my reading has gotten chaotic and I’d like to put some more heft in it. We’ll see what the process produces.

Welcome to The School of Life Bibliotherapy Service.Prior to your consultation we would appreciate it if you could take a few minutes to answer the following questions.
Name: X
Contact no: X
instructions: Please send your answers to us at:bibliotherapy@theschooloflife.com

at least 24 hours before your consultation.

We look forward to speaking with you. PLEASE let us know 24 hours in advance if for some reason you can’t make your appointment. Failure to do so may result in forfeiting your session.

 

 

 

About your reading habits
How would you describe your relationship to books?

 

X
Did books feature largely in your childhood? X
Where do you like to read? X
Why do you read? X
In a bookshop, which section do you head to first? And then? X
Which books and authors have loved most? Least enjoyed? X
Do you like the challenge of a big fat tome or do you prefer something slim? X
Do you always finish the books you start? X
In your mind, what constitutes a “good read”? X
If there were such a thing as the perfect book for you, what would it be like? X

 

 

 

About you
How old are you?

 

X
Are you single, co-habiting, married, divorced? Do you have kids? X
What do you do for a living? for fun? X
What is preoccupying you at the moment? X
What are your passions? X
What is missing from your life? X
Where do you see yourself in 10 years’ time? X

 

Beyond the tomorrow wall

Beltane                                                             New (Healing) Moon

“The cure to boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.”  Dorothy Parker

Things have begun to change internally, too. Yesterday all my various appointments for the surgery were made. That’s all I can do about prostate cancer for now. The sale of the Andover house relieved that drag on the day to day. As I reported below, planned changes are underway around the house.

Though I do still have the holter monitor until July 3rd, I’m sure the end result of all the cardiology related tests will show me in good cardiovascular health. That leaves the question of my lower oxygen saturation when on Shadow Mountain. It’s normal at Denver altitude. My take on that. Let it be until after the surgery and recovery.

With all this positive change underway, my inner compass, the one that guides me into the next work, has begun to wake up. I’m not quite ready to get back to the Latin and Superior Wolf, but I can feel tendrils of my imagination creeping out beyond the tomorrow wall. (see 6/13 post) They’re tentative, not always formed, but I know their marks, their sign.

The most reliable of these marks and signs is curiosity. How might we seed and/or otherwise nurture native flowers and plants in our yard? Where are those books on Robert Oppenheimer and the Manhattan project? Would buying a 3-D printer for Gabe and Ruth to use make sense?

Other signs. Making notes here and there for future projects. Planning new trips with Gabe and Ruth. Looking forward to visits from friends. Unpacking the remaining boxes in the garage and organizing their contents. Getting the generator installation underway. And the bookshelves and workplaces for the loft.

The tomorrow wall still stands, but small vines have begun to penetrate it seeking nourishment beyond it.

 

 

Tomorrow’s Wall

Beltane                                                                           Closing Moon

As I wrote here before, my internal timeline comes up short, now around July 8th, does not, will not extend much beyond that. This interferes with the kind of dreaming that moves projects like becoming fluent in Latin and writing a novel forward. With no time in the future-it feels walled off-there is little incentive for the incremental work necessary to move long term projects.

This is frustrating, of course, but the effect, and probably the underlying sense behind it, focuses me on the here and now. This cancer. That appointment. This work around home that needs to get done. Stay close in to the center, don’t try to project your Self and your work out ahead right now.

I trust the anxiety when it comes, as I trust the relief from it. This is not new for me, but the oscillations have become more apparent, their purposes more clear.

Surgery July 8

Beltane                                           Closing Moon

The consultation with the urologist went well. My cancer has some outside the prostate presence, which makes the situation a bit more dire, but still one within the reach of a radical prostatectomy.

Kate and I both feel good about Dr. Eigner, the surgeon/urologist, and his experience. He’s done hundreds of robotic prostatectomies and hundreds of open prostatectomies. Practice is important.

We discussed the options, from hormone treatment to radiation to surgery. The moderately advanced nature of my cancer, my age and general health (good), make me a logical candidate for surgery. Kate and I had decided that already.

On the irrational side, I want that organ out of me. It’s no longer on my side. On the rational side surgery gives me the best chance of negative margins, a procedure in which all the cancer is removed, none showing at the tissue margins.

I feel good this evening, at peace with the choice, confident in the skill of my doctor and the support of family and friends.