Category Archives: Family

Why grief?

Spring                                                         Wedding Moon

As you might expect, I’ve been thinking about death, about grief in the wake of Vega’s sudden death. In particular I’ve been wondering how I can have a grasp on my own death, no fear, but be so distressed at Vega’s.

Then, it occurred to me. In movie thrillers the torturers often open their usually neated packet of tools: knives, pliers, dental picks, pieces of bamboo with a flourish. Or, as in the Marathon Man, the dentist goes to work on you without anesthetic.  In many cases the torturee summons up inhuman courage or an anti-heroic defiance.

When the usual infliction of pain or disorientation fails, or when the torturer is portrayed as unusually sadistic, friends or colleagues or family members of the torturee are led into the room. Then the torturer goes to work on them. Seems effective in the movies I’ve seen.

Grief, at least in part, is because the universe is such a torturer. Not with malice, of course, but certainly with a sort of intention. Life has an endpoint and entropy sees that it arrives. So, it’s possible to have the notion of your own death sorted out while responding with agony to the grim torture of having your friends removed from the room .

Singapore, the last day

Spring                                                         Wedding Moon

Yesterday, our last day in Singapore, was the usual packing, settling of accounts and the taxi ride to the airport. It also included a visit to the sky deck, the third of the three things I wanted to see. Nirvana exceeded my expectations, Skygreens fell far below them and the sky deck was in between. It was in between only because the park like aspect of it, which really interested me, was off limits to all but guests of the Sands Resort Hotel.

The views the sky deck provided of this island nation were, however, stunning. And, again, it was hot.

The night before we ate at the Singapore Cricket Club’s Padang Restaurant. Here is a photograph of the Cricket Club taken from the sky deck.

Singapore Cricket Club from Sky deck

The merlion is a primary symbol of Singapore.

merlion2

The lotus shaped Artscience Museum is in the foreground here. The Esplanade where we listened to the Sikh music is the hedgehog shapes in the upper right and the Cricket Club is to the upper left.

lotus flower, cricket club, esplanade

Finally, the sky deck park and the port beyond it.

sky deck and port

Eating

Spring                                                        Wedding Moon

relish4A lot of our visit to Singapore has revolved around eating. Yesterday morning we met Anita.  Anita offered prayers at her temple for me during my prostate surgery last year, is a long time colleague of Mary’s. She’s writing a book about her community, Indians from Kerala but living for a long time in Singapore. We had breakfast at Relish, a restaurant close to Mary’s apartment.

Lunch was Mary, Kate and I at Miyabi, a Japanese restaurant on the second floor of the Raffles Town Club. Excellent food. Authentic Japanese decor and seating. One side room I noticed was named Fu Yu. Not shorthand, I’m sure, as it would be in English.

tanglin tavernIn the evening a friend of Mary’s treated us to a pub meal in the Tanglin Club, the oldest such club in Singapore, founded in 1865. The Tavern and Fireplace, where we ate, replicates an English pub. I had fish and chips with vinegar on the fries. Just right. These clubs began as old style English gentlemen’s clubs, a bit of home in the tropics. The Tanglin apparently was started for English rubber plantation owners and their colleagues.

hash hikingWe learned about Hash hiking from Mary’s friend. This partial headline from the Guardian gives you the central point: “…a club that takes drinking as seriously as running.” Here are two websites: the guardian article and one from expat go. Though it started in Malaysia among expats concerned about staying trim while drinking plenty of beer, it’s quirky style has given it an international presence.

Including, I discovered easily, several Colorado clubs.

 

Impressions

Spring                                                   Wedding Moon

Ate last night at the Dining Room, the Raffles Town Club’s award winning “Western” restaurant. I asked Kate what she imagined made the restaurant “Western.” “Everything’s cooked.” Kate’s not a fan of raw anything.

I’m going to add more pictures from Nirvana (hey, you can take photographs in Nirvana!), but they’ll have to wait until I get back to Adobe Photoshop. The WordPress image manipulator seems confounded by their metaphysics. Or something.

A random thought. I read an interesting short article last month (which I will post at some point) about a transition one analyst saw as well underway. He pointed out that just as the authority of the church declined dramatically after the rise of nation states so now the authority of the nation states is declining dramatically as global corporations become more and more powerful. Korea, Hong Kong and Singapore are strong examples of his point: chaebols like Samsung and Hyundai impact Korean life, Hong Kong capitalists are holding off the powerful Central Committee of China and Singapore unabashedly runs itself for business interests. There’s a lot to chew on in this idea.

 

 

 

A hot time in the air-conditioned nation

botanic gardensHave I mentioned that it’s hot here? Kate and I walked through the Botanic Gardens, very beautiful and close to my sister Mary’s apartment, to get to a tour bus stop. By the time we got to the right place we had soaked our t-shirts. The heat + high humidity is a challenge for both of us. And, today was cooler.

We stopped at the Botanic Gardens outdoor cafe and had cool drinks, sat under a fan. That helped. So did shopping at the excellent, and air conditioned, gift shop.

The hop-on bus tour took a couple of hours but it allowed us to see the highlights of Singapore. The bus had personalized ducts for its air conditioning. A good thing for both of us. We went down Orchard Road which is a main retail shop with vertical malls selling the same kind of luxury goods I mentioned as available in the Incheon and Hong Kong airports.

Marina ParkThe architecture is cutting edge modern with lots of angles, odd shapes, glass, polished metal and cut stone. Mary says a constant theme here is upgrading: buildings, civil engineering, education, business. The Marina Park development, which contains many whimsical modern buildings, is an example. The Singapore Flyer, a huge ferris wheel, a park set high above the street on three building towers, structures shaped like a lotus flower, a hedgehog, and an inverted whale skeleton all draw the eye.

violet-oon-singapore-bukit-timah1At the same time there is the historic part of Singapore which includes the grand Raffles Hotel, the Museum of Asian Art, China Town, the Botanic Gardens and the Peranakan neighborhood. This last reflects the particular architecture of the folks who were in Singapore the earliest. They have a beautiful ceramic tradition.

Back at the Raffles Town Club Kate and I left our things in our room and walked around the curved hallways on our floor to the Chinese restaurant. Dim sum and almond coated crispy chicken. Quite tasty.

This evening we’re going to a restaurant (picture above) that features cuisine of the Peranakan culture. Mary says the chef, Violet Oon (great name), is a local celebrity.

 

 

Kaya Toast to Bugis Street

Spring                                                                  Wedding Moon

Kaya_Toast_SetBreakfast at the Club. Kate had a British breakfast and I had kaya toast with soft boiled eggs. Kaya is a Singapore speciality, a sort of jam applied to buttered toast which is then folded or made into a sandwich. Our waiter was Katrich, a young, very dark skinned Indian. A Japanese couple ate congee, a business type snapped open his laptop after ordering and checked his phone, a large Indian man ate a large breakfast.  A quiet way to start the day.

kate on the downtown lineThen, a nap. Still pretty exhausted from yesterday’s southerly flight from Korea to near the equator. Did I mention it’s hot here? Oh, boy.

We went out to get some necessities, took the excellent subway, Stevens to Bugis and the walk from the Raffles Town Club to the Stevens station was brutal even though it was short. The subway was air conditioned. A young Chinese man tapped me on the shoulder and offered me his seat.  A moving LED sign enjoined travelers to help the children and elderly. Red seats with a campaign persona named Standup Stacey encouraged the same inside the train cars.

bugis-st-3In the way of traveling we went to Bugis Village, a “three-stories of air conditioned street shopping.” It took us over an hour, including lunch at a ramen restaurant, to find the real entrance. In that hour we both got overheated. Once we found it though it was a genuine Southeast Asian shopping experience. Stall after stall of varying goods like I Love Singapore t-shirts, plastic merlions, racks of women’s short-shorts, shoes and sandals, and the occasional food stall. Crowded, busy. Jostling. Fun.

Waiting now to go out to with Mary who has taught all day.

Singapore

Spring                                                            Wedding Moon

sinaporeSingapore. Landed at Changi airport last night around 6:45 pm after a 4 hour flight from Hong Kong. Up at 4:40 am. We’re early risers so this is not unusual, but it did make a long day. We caught the shuttle to Incheon, threaded our way through the airport lobbies and elevators, found Cathay Pacific and got our luggage and boarding passes with little hassle. All three airports are easy to navigate with the usual (outside the US) free luggage carts.

Kate was ready for bed around 5 pm. Unfortunately we had landing, immigration, baggage, customs and a taxi ride ahead of us. When I pull up Singapore weather on my cell phone, the bar across the top is a bright red. Hot! 93, feels like 100. 88, feels like 102. Those of you who know Kate will know this is not Norwegian friendly weather. The taxi ride was, for her, hot. She also gets car sick. Tired, hot, nauseated. Kate hell.

raffles town clubThe good news was that Mary, sister Mary, who lives in Singapore, has a friend who is a member of the Raffles Town Club. The Club has a floor of suites for members and guests, so Mary graciously offered to treat us to lodging there. The room, suite, is outrageous. High ceilings, a huge living room, spacious bedroom and an outsize bathroom. And, most importantly last night, it was cool. Made us feel like honored guests.

Mary also prepares a welcome kit that includes mass transit passes, maps and brochures. We’ll look at those over the course of the day. Today will be what Kate and I call a travel day. Rest and rejuvenate. Get oriented.

from the Air Conditioned nation.

And so

Spring                                                  Wedding Moon

wedding1

20160410_121803 (2)

Kate and Seoah’s mother after lighting the candles symbolizing the unity of the families
20160410_120133 (2)

The bride’s side. Her mother and sister in traditional wedding attire.

wedding3

Seoah’s father, mother and two sisters

seaoh's father, mother, two sisters (2)

Fellow Air Force officers: Kevin (L) and Daniel (middle)
20160410_115320 (2)

Living in the present, surrounded by the past

Spring                                                         Wedding Moon

Ellis and Jang
Ellis and Jang (Mary’s photo)

Yesterday we took a trip to the past. To Seoah’s family home and the village of the Jang family for at least four generations. The neighbor women sat at a low table eating from dishes and dishes of food. They looked up curiously as we came in the small traditional house, then went back to their meal.

(Kate took all the rest of these photos.)kids

The house had little furniture, mostly low tables and one chair, a massaging recliner that Mary (my sister) says is common in Singaporean households. Often the only chair in the house.

We met many black-haired children who ran around, curious and a little uncertain, Seoah’s two sisters and her older brother. Seungpil, husband of her younger sister, has been our taxi driver in a sleek, well-maintained black Hyundai, a Grandeur.

finding conifer
finding conifer

Seoah’s mother had charge of a compliment of women in the kitchen which had food plates and bowls and pans on all of its surfaces. Her father, a trim man, 71 moved with the grace of a 30 year old. He farms a large number of plots, some vinyl greenhouses, a rice paddie and several fields. I asked to see it and we walked around it all.

He proudly pointed to a tractor and said, in clear English, “John Deere!” He had a combine, a grain drier and a second Massey-Ferguson, older. He grows vegetables, hay and some fruit. Like any good farmer in the spring, after we left his home for the Bamboo Museum, he headed back into the fields.

john deere

Seoah’s home village nestles among low mountains that look (and probably are) ancient. They’re very beautiful, often mist covered and extending in ranges for some ways. Sangkuk is well beyond the metro region of Gwangju, in the country. As nearly as I could tell, the area around Sangkuk is only agricultural, no folks living the country life and commuting into the city.

fields and tombs
Jang family fields. Note tombs in forest clearing toward the right

 

Songtan

Spring                                                                          Maiden Moon

Ancientrails posting now from Songtan, South Korea. Pics, later words. Sorry about the inverted picture. I’ll fix it later.

20160406_090724 20160406_090730 resized