Flowing With The Move

Summer                                                          Most Heat Moon

When we are ready, a house will appear. I believe this. We’ve looked at many, many houses online now. Kate’s visited several parts of Colorado and we’ve narrowed our geographical preference. By the time next February comes, we’ll have clarity about what we want, what we need. The one available at that time, our next house, will emerge out of the clutter of competing listings, we’ll find it. And buy it.

Before that, we finish decluttering this house, getting it ready for the market. We look at our pared down furnishings, get out the tape measure and figure the room we need for our own creative spaces. That will help us decide just how much we need in a new home, or new home plus out buildings.

All of this living in the move means staying in the flow toward Colorado, realizing where the energy naturally goes at this stage and following it. Putting our shoulders behind work at the time it needs to be done means we use the momentum of change to our benefit. Easier than fighting against it, trying to push things to move faster. Then the momentum of change works against us.

We can, now, decide on communities, specific locales like Idaho Springs, Golden, the I-70 corridor. We can, now, pack and declutter, packing those things we won’t use until next year and throwing those things we no longer need. SortTossPack has come once already and they’ll come again, probably around Labor Day. Later in the fall the yard work contractors will prune and mulch, declutter the front.

Kate and I will probably head out to Colorado for Thanksgiving together, so I can drive around with her. We’ll stay two or three nights in Golden, then another two or three in Idaho Springs. Get to know some people. By that time our house should have left, unpacked, only those things we’ll need through the move.

Then, in December or January we’ll finish up the physical modifications that need to get done for staging the house. And we’ll begin actively checking the market in Colorado. Looking for that house that is ready for us.

 

A Busy Time

Summer                                                                   Most Heat Moon

Ah. A week of guests, Jon and Ruth. 4 days with Kate gone, then 3 more days with a guest. Kate home.

Result? Weariness. A dullness and a minor sense of dispiritedness. An interesting word, this last. The spirit has gone, at least to some extent. The air has gone out of the tire, deflated. The body sags a bit, wanting to settle into a position of rest. There is to each breath the hint of a sigh.

Granting this description a full paragraph makes it sound more than I’m experiencing. It is a minor, will go away feeling. But, it is real. There is, too, a mild exhaustion. Recovery is not quite as quick as it used to be. That’s a third phase reality, too.

And, yes, it was all worth it. Jon and Ruth being here saw the deck get done, our move’s primary purpose strengthened, some important time with Ruth by herself. The time alone meant Kate was riding ahead, hand blocking out the sun, learning the mountains. Mary’s visit reaffirmed family ties, brought knowledge about mom and dad I did not have. So, yes I’m glad all of it happened and will be equally glad to have life take on its new norm as we continue to live in the move.

Today, though. A rest day.

Nocturne

Summer                                                            Most Heat Moon

As the night settles gently here, Kate is home and has taken Kepler with her to bed. He sleeps in his own bed near ours.

There’s a dynamic when she’s gone, a bit unsettling, but also affirming. Let me see if I can be clear about it. We are, together, more than two, but also two. When we are apart, the twoness remains in memory, but the day-to-day facticity of it shifts. There is no other body in the bed. Nor at breakfast. Nor as the day goes by. The simple joy of a dog’s antics, wonder at some passing insect or cloud, soothing of a momentary mood, a reminder of each other’s value just by being present one to the other is lost. Only for a while, but lost anyhow.

The affirmation comes in knowing these things by their absence. The unsettling rises with this third phase certainty, some day one of us will leave and not come back. What then? The facticity of the relationship will be gone and with it all those subtle, ordinary, sacred moments that make up a common life. Death brooks no return and the loss will be in that sense total.

That is not now, for us. And I’m glad. Happy that we had this day together. And hopeful that we will have tomorrow. We do, after all, have that move to prepare.

 

Scouting Report: First Impressions

Summer                                                                         Most Heat Moon

No battle plan survives contact with the enemy. So it is with housing criteria. Which is why we had our scout out on a horse, peeking at houses through shrubbery, checking out communities and areas. Current impression. Acreage with trees on more or less level ground and in the mountains may not be in our price range. So, what to do?

Retreat to lower ground, changing the altitude criteria, or reconsider acreage? Right now I’m thinking the latter. We have four dogs, yes, but will have only three and at some point not too far away, only one. (Vega and Rigel will have shorter lifespans than Gertie.) Perhaps we could find a place with less acreage but land we can fence for our dogs, who are homebodies for the most part anyhow.

I’m also willing to pull back on the gardening, having a smaller plot. As my energy and enthusiasm for physical labor wanes, my interest in the life of the mind continues to increase. We might need to focus on our indoor pursuits for our property and let the Rocky Mountains tend to our earth connections. This could make more sense for aging in place anyhow.

With a smaller lot we can buy more house and maybe gain all the way round. Just thinking out loud right now.

 

 

Growing Things, Snowing Things

Summer                                                               Most Heat Moon

Another estimate. This time for yard work. We’ll get three. Two in now. This is for thinning, pruning, getting the front ready for visitors, potential buyers in February. With 650 raised beds late summer 2010_0187the gardens in the back, flowers and vegetables, and the orchard, we’ve lost focus on the front, letting it become overgrown. Now it’s going to take some effort to put it back in neat, suburban form. (about which I care very little, but which buyers will. sigh.)

Our caring has focused on tomatoes, beets and carrots, iris, lilies and snakeroot, plums, cherries and apples, not on the appearance of our front. I’ve always thought the Chinese have the best idea here. Some Chinese let the front entrance to their homes become disheveled, run down. It’s not until you’re inside, beyond the outward appearance that you see the beauty of the home.

Kate will return today, her Western scout phase over for now. She’s driven many miles in the Rockies west of Denver. Yesterday she and Granddaughter Ruth drove from Golden to Boulder and then back to Idaho Springs. Kate reported that, as you know, it’s very important to see houses in situ. Each one she saw yesterday looked great, but had one thing or another that ruled them out. One had the 2 acres we feel we need, except they were vertical, not horizontal. Another had beautiful views, a great house, but was back 10 miles of dirt road. And so on. That’s all to be expected and we only need one house.

(left flank of St. Mary’s Glacier, 2007.  St Mary’s Glacier is located 9.2 miles north of Idaho Springs in the Clear Creek Ranger District of the Arapaho National Forest. The glacier – technically a large perennial snowfield – is a popular year-round destination open to hiking, skiing, glissading, climbing and sledding.)

She has settled on St. Mary’s Glacier as the key area on which we should focus our search. That’s helpful because it narrows the field and makes paying attention much easier.

I’ll be glad to have her back home. We all miss her.

The Street

Summer                                                                 Most Heat Moon

After dropping Mary off at the airport, I drove into Minneapolis, taking Lake Street from Hiawatha all the way to the Fuji Ya, then after the Fuji-ya Bento special, on three more blocks to the Highpoint Print Co-operative. Lake Street is alive, predominantly Latino from Hiawatha to the 35W overpass, then changing briefly to urban poverty and quickly picking up scale as it heads toward Uptown.

There was much al fresco dining, including a place I’d not seen before “Louie’s Wine Dive.”  A slogan on the window said, “Where foodies meet winos.” That got a laugh. From me. Fuji Ya had outside dining but I sat inside, watching the people come and go, young mostly, hip with flowing skirts, sleeves of tattoos, body piercings, hip young haircuts, one guy with an inexplicable mustache that featured a left side Fu Manchu and a right side more mundane trim close to the face. He looked imbalanced, but maybe that was the point.

The energy all along Lake, but especially in the area around the Bryant Lake Bowl, Louie’s and the Highpoint was buzzing. Sex was in the air with short skirts, young men and women dressed in their best Friday night out and cool casual attire, looking at each other with the uh-oh what am I doing with him, her look so familiar from another life era.

Shiva, Aprhodite, Isis all out for a stroll, winking and nodding at the sound, the colors, the heat generated by persons trying to get to know each other, to bridge the chasm between one universe and another. The multiverse on the hoof.

In this period of my life I was of the city, not living in the city, rather part of it, a blood cell swimming in the arteries and veins of urban politics. Different faces, a different time, but the same groping, flailing, hoping.

Tonight was the first time Minneapolis felt really big city to me. A young man, skateboard under his arm, pressed his entry code. This was a metal and brick apartment building right on Lake Street, a block from the Bryant Lake Bowl, on the same block as Louie’s. His life was of Lake Street. It was his milieu.

I was a bit intoxicated by the energy, surfing it, the years shedding off my shoulders until I was 28, 30 and standing there, ready to dive in.

At the Highpoint opening I went first as this younger me, having bathed in the waters of eternal youth along Lake Street. I wanted to fall in love, to find a print I couldn’t imagine life without-a striking image that would hang on a Colorado wall and call back Minneapolis, this adult home of mine. I wanted to fall in love, but I couldn’t find a partner. The prints were interesting, some of them, but nothing reached out and made an effort to cross the divide into my space.

(Lucas The Elder Cranach: The Fountain of Youth)

When I realized I wasn’t finding that image, the years came back on me and I was tired, a week of work outside and inside, playing host and chauffeur, dog rangler. No, I was not young, nor did I want to be. What I wanted was to go home.

Driving out, away from Lake Street and Uptown, away from the Dionysian street, I made my way toward the exurbs, the place where Dionysus gives way to Apollo, to Minerva, an ordered, thoughtful, peaceful place. My study is the antithesis of Louie’s Wine Dive, neither foodie nor wino here.

But I like the opportunity to visit that time of heat, of searching and yearning. Some of its fire remains on board, even as I write this. It’s that dialectic between fertile youth and stable old that makes culture exciting.

 

No comment

Summer                                                                     Most Heat Moon

file under it must have seem liked a good idea at the time:

SEATTLE — A man who used a can of spray paint and a lighter as a makeshift blowtorch to kill a spider in his laundry room started a blaze that caused $60,000 worth of damage, Seattle fire officials said Wednesday.

Aurora

Summer                                                               Most Heat Moon

Well. The dogs have encouraged me to see another dawn. No, this is not some heroic clawback from the edge of terminal illness attained by the promise of canine companionship, rather it’s occasioned by canine demand for outside and food. So, here I am posting an Aurora just after a Nocturne. This might not be unusual for many, but for me, it’s downright odd.

The front page of the three papers I read consistently all feature the Malaysian Airlines disaster. The New York Times follows it with a long story about preparation by Israel for a ground assault on the Gaza Strip. Grim news from a part of the world that has been and continues to be a flashpoint for international conflicts.

Crimea, a major part of the Ukrainian/Russian violence, has featured in many wars and as part of the Great Game, the struggle between Great Britain and Russia for control in Central Asia. The Middle East, not far away, and its oil resources has become more prominent of late, particularly since the partition of Israel and Palestine. No one covers themselves with glory in any of these disputes and the politics are intractable, the product of ancient grudges coupled with the very modern demand for oil.

The ancient grudges often have their roots in this region’s other primary export, monotheistic religions. Though there were many polytheistic faiths in cultures there-from Babylonia to Assyria to Persepolis-it was with the Abrahamic covenant and the Egyptian diaspora of his descendants that monotheism began its ascendancy. In sequence came Christianity, then Islam both variants of that original turn toward one god.

The bitter soup concocted from petroleum and theological certainty, endemic to all three faiths, has bloodied nations and peoples over the whole globe. Where will it end? Oddly enough climate change might bring a peace of sorts in both central Asia and the Middle East. As the world backs away from its dependence on carbon based fuels, the relative importance of the oil rich regions and their conduits to markets (much of Central Asia, with pipelines headed toward China and toward the West) will decline.

Could be.

Nocturne

Summer                                                                       Most Heat Moon

Quiet. Again. No big city noises. No fireworks. Just silence.

There is a time for talking and a time for not-talking. There is a time for being with and a time for being apart. There is a time for light and a time for dark.

I find solace in these evening hours, out here on the urban fringe. But on reflection the solace comes in its contrast to the also important activity of the day. If life were all quiet, all solace, then it would be indistinguishable from a cloistered cell and I chose long ago to live in the world, not apart from it.

So I am glad for the dark and I am glad for the light. I am glad for being apart and I’m glad for being with. I am glad for not-talking and I am glad for talking.

Chivalry

Summer                                                               Most Heat Moon

Heartland Cafe. Everything made in this St. Paul restaurant except the cheese, according to the waiter who took care of Mary and me this evening. If so, they slaughtered a cow and a pig to serve us since Mary had a pork chop and I had a steak. The food was, as it was on Valentine’s Day, excellent and local.

We got there at 6:20 pm and had the whole place to ourselves for a half an hour or more.

I discovered how mom and dad met tonight. I told Mary I didn’t know. She said mom was in uniform (as a WAC) and being harassed by men (also in uniform). This was in Chattanooga. Dad came along and stopped the harassment. They exchanged information, but she was headed overseas for her work with the Signal Corps first in Naples, then in Algiers. After a lengthy war time correspondence, which included Dad sending her blouses and other items from the U.S., they remet on Lookout Mountain and got engage.

And so, after 67 years, I learn how my parents happened to get together.