9 months of snow

Beltane                                                                  Closing Moon

May snow deck
May snow deck

Learned reading 5280, the local weather blog, that May is our area’s 8th snowiest month. That’s out of 9 months, with September being the least snowiest, averaging 1.1 inches while May averages 1.7 inches. These are Denver averages; we get more snow up here on Shadow Mountain.

The weather out here continues to teach this pupil its ways. I’m guessing it will take years to integrate the patterns. And climate change alters them, so new shifts will come, ones that don’t reflect old averages or historic seasonal expectations.

As Heraclitus said, you can’t step into the same weather pattern twice. Not with climate change.

 

Living

Beltane                                                                              Closing Moon

Printed out Superior Wolf’s first few chapters to read today. I need to reenter that world, get back to writing. Will try some Latin as well.

Prime task today. Sign and mail closing documents. This requires visiting a notary.

Second workout. Back at it.

Sleep still problematic. Not anxiety. I don’t feel anxious. I am weary, right now, of possible threats to my life, threats issued by own body. Still in the in-between, some information but not enough stage.

 

The Unrhythm Method

Beltane                                                                        New (Closing) Moon

Hard to get into a rhythm. All this health stuff. Narrows my world, makes it seem focused on what’s wrong, not what’s right. And a lot is right.

Take the mountains. Everchanging. You’d think they’d stay the same, these massive intrusions from beneath the earth’s crust. So solid. So there. But it’s not so. This month the precipitation has put fog all around us, Black Mountains lies obscured not far away. The Rockies look more like the Smokies.

As I have driven them this month, the Blue Ridge Parkway, civil war battles, the early days of the American revolution have stirred in my memory. But this is not the east. This is the arid west and its imprints are from the first nations, from the Spanish and the Mexicans. Here the early years of human habitation stretch back over 11,000 years. Here the lands had no fixed borders, but were fluid, changing as first nations grew and waned, moved.

Here the incursions came not from the east across the broad Atlantic, but from the south, up from Mexico. European contact here brought bull-fights and Spain, a colonial power, yes, but one inflected by the Mediterranean and the Romans rather than the Atlantic and the Celts, the Britons.

This is what I want to engage. But to do it, I have also have to deal with my health. The third phase.

OK

Beltane                                                                New (Closing) Moon

Got to feeling like I was a victim, not of any person, but of the insults to/from my body. I hunkered down, quit working out, quit Latin, quit writing. Almost a month now. Tired of feeling like a victim and I know the only way around the feeling is to stop acting like one.

So, back on the treadmill. Back to Latin and Superior Wolf, let the health matters develop as they need to.

Exhaustion

Beltane                                                                        Beltane Moon

N.B. This is a debbie downer post but I wanted to include it for completeness. Skip it unless you want to hear a modest tale of not so much, but nonetheless real, woe.

Mt. Falcon
Mt. Falcon

I’ve left out some struggle over the last few days. The Colorado Native Plant class went up a steep incline, not in learning curve, but in altitude. It found me breathing hard. Which flummoxed me a bit since I live at 8,800 feet and this was 5,800. The effort required left me exhausted after the 4-hour class.

But I wanted hiking boots, so I drove into the Denver REI and began another chapter in buying footwear with a male size 7 foot. It’s hard to be body positive about your feet when nobody carries your size. Two hours of boot trying later a pair of Vasque 8’s seemed almost right. Even tireder then, I bought them. We’ll see if they work. I imagine with some custom orthotics they will.

view from REI toward downtown Denver Friday, May 16, 2015
view from REI toward downtown Denver Friday, May 16, 2015

By the time I got home late that afternoon, I had no reserve left. Granted, this is the day after the biopsy. Perhaps not the best time for a physical marathon.  Still, the class was one of only three and it was the first day of the annual sale at REI, everything 20% off. 7s are hard to find under the best conditions and a picked over store would not be the best.

I made my focus for yesterday rest and recreation. Which meant TV. I watched a Woody Allen comedy and caught up with a series or two on Hulu. Still exhausted at the end of the day.

Got up this morning.  Still tired. Went back to bed and slept until 9:30. Feeling better now, around 11:00.

The End of the Beginning

Beltane                                                                       Beltane Moon

9538 Black Mountain DriveThe end of the beginning. When June 1st slips into its calendar slot, many things we set in motion a year ago will have come to a conclusion. On May 26th the Andover house closes. Last October 31st we closed on Black Mountain Drive. We packed. We moved. We’ve unpacked. A lot, but not all: art and the garage remain. A way of being grandpop and grandma in Colorado has emerged, not solid, but solidifying. The dogs and our creative lives have been shifted to new spaces, happily.

We live in the mountains, no longer on the plains and flatlands of the glaciated Midwest. The West and its arid lands, the Rocky Mountains are our home.

The above speaks only to transition, not to the settling in process I call becoming native to this place. A year ago when we decided to move I thought the move would take two years. It has taken one.

Becoming native to this place will take years, if not the rest of our lives.  Miles of road must be driven; hours with family must pass; visits to parts now unknown must take place; plants must grow. Mountain paths hiked. History learned. A new way absorbed and incorporated. I mean that last literally, become corporeal, our bodies must become of this place.

Tent poles struck, canvas being rolled up

Beltane                                                               Beltane Moon

Under the Beltane Moon many things have happened for us. Vega got bit and is on the road to recovery. The Andover house sold and will close at the end of the month. Kate’s gotten regular on her exercise. We had two big snows. I had my physical, got the prostate news and had my biopsy. I took two Native Plant master classes. We saw Gabe in concert at Sweigert Elementary. I attended my 28th Woolly Mammoth retreat. Got all-season tires on the Rav4.

Beltane marks the beginning of the growing season, or summer as one half of the year. The other half is winter or the fallow time, which begins October 31st on Samhain, Summer’s End. Beltane is a season of transition, like April, from the cold to the heat.

This Beltane moon saw many transitions for us. Two big ones. The selling of the Andover house means that my circus tent metaphor can come to an end. The last poles are being struck in Minnesota and the canvas is being rolled up. Now it just needs to get loaded on the train and the train to start moving. May 26. 20 years of work handed off to new stewards.

And the prostate. No matter what the biopsy shows, the transition from innocence toward my own death (even though often acknowledged) to acceptance of it as a fact has happened. Not an easy process, painful in some ways, but important. And, I don’t believe I’ll have to through that process again.