I weep

Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Friday gratefuls: Shadow, up at 3 am today.  Cool morning. Rain. Low Wildfire Risk. Rabbi’s Akiva, Hillel, and Green. Tzelem elohim. Humans made in (or, I would say, as) the image of God.  Mindy. Fran. Sally. Janet. Marilyn. Going to Yellowstone, as she does around this time of year.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Elk Creek Fire

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Rodef Shalom. The desire to generate well-being for ourselves and others.

Tarot: The King of Vessels, Heron

  • “Patience and introspection: Like the Heron who waits patiently in a stream, this card represents the lesson of trusting divine timing and acting with intention rather than impulsivity.
  • Emotional mastery: The Heron stands on one leg, stable and grounded even as the water flows around it.”  Gemini

One brief shining: A jolt this morning from Pulsepoint, an app that tracks emergencies nearby, this time with a 6:50 AM notice of a vegetation Fire at 8540 Black Mountain Drive, a mile or two from home, Elk Creek Fire has rolled on it; and, I sit here feeling blessed by all the Rain we’ve had, imagining, hoping it will make this Fire easier to suppress. Ah. Closed 7:02 AM.

 

Dog journal: Shadow up early. I played with her a bit, let her out, and went upstairs. Made coffee. Cleaned my Shabbat candle holders using boiling Water. Plucked a can of Water from the fridge.

When I got downstairs, Shadow wanted back in. She came in and I thought, I’ll go back to sleep. Around 3:45. Yep. Didn’t get up until it was time to feed her.

Shadow has begun to spend more time inside as the days have grown rainier and cooler. Right now she’s resting, her head on her paws. 3 AM was early for her, too. Thank god.

 

Artemis: Watered the Soil in the east facing raised bed, got out two seed packets, both Carrots. Tiny. Delicate. Difficult to handle. Back in Andover I would have used Sand to help me place them in the Soil. No Sand here. Had to rely on my fingers. Which means. Thinning later.

This may seem like an odd time to plant, but my guidance from Seed Savers Exchange says this an excellent time for Carrots. They grow through Frost and become sweeter as the Air and Soil grows cooler. We’ll see. I also have row covers for them that I’ll deploy over the weekend. Shelter from the harsh early Light of Great Sol.

 

Just a moment: I’ve never seen a government so committed to harming its own citizens. (later. Well, of course I have. Geez. Hitler’s Germany. Stalin’s Russia. Mao’s China.) Guess I should say a U.S. government. Reduce/and or eliminate food support. Gut the CDC and cut back on vaccine access. Make women’s health priority low when they’re most vulnerable. Cut  emergency response capability at the same time as reducing the capacity of the Weather services to warn us of emergencies. Put the National Guard and the Military to the task of occupying major cities. Not to mention the knock on effects of defunding basic science.

During all this why not convene a three hour televised cabinet meeting where our Dear Leader received praise from high ranking sycophants. I weep.

 

 

The Heart of Darkness

Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Thursday gratefuls: Paul. Tom. Naps. Shadow and her new Lobster. Nylabone. Her morning sweetness. Rain. Smoky the Bear on Low Fire Danger. The family in South Korea. In Denver. In Saudi Arabia. In Australia and K.L. In Longmont. Planting Carrots. Watering them in. Irv and his new tooth. Rumi. Kabir. Hafiz. Basho. Cold Mountain. Woodsworth. Coleridge. Blake. Keats. Thomas. Harris. Berry. Whitman. Dickinson. Oliver. Collins.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Mountain roads

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Rodef Shalom. The desire to generate well-being for ourselves and others.

Tarot: The Greenman, #4

  • “Creative fertility and power: Represents the abundant, regenerative, and vibrant male energy of the natural world.
  • Assertive dynamism: Signifies a new and thriving drive to begin projects, relationships, or new ways of living.”  Gemni

One brief shining: Morning darkness now greets Shadow and me as we get up, covering the back yard, obscuring the Lodgepoles, the Aspen, Artemis except for the glow of her heater, all the toys and socks and bones Miss Shadow has relocated there, the Bluebells, the invasive Mullein, those sawtooth Ground Covers I don’t recognize; the same darkness obscures 10,000 foot Black Mountain as if its Massif did not exist. What does your inner darkness obscure?

Minneapolis: Forty years of my life were spent in Minnesota. Most of them in the Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul. Cities I loved and love still. My heart breaks for Minneapolis, a city with flaws, sure, it’s a place inhabited by humans; yet also a place committed to a diverse citizenry, to beauty, to citizen based planning, to justice for all. Does it fall short on all of these? Of course it does, yet no more so than most, probably a lot less.

And yet.  The Annunciation shooting yesterday. Melissa Hortman and her husband. Gilbert. Only two months ago. George Floyd.

When I worked on the West Bank in Minneapolis, I conducted a memorial service for a long time resident of that then counter-cultural neighborhood. I don’t remember her name, but I remember how she died. Standing on the back porch of her second floor apartment, a bullet so spent it didn’t pierce the back of her coveralls, did shatter her heart. She had children, was in her early thirties.

I do remember saying in my eulogy for her that the only sense that could be made of her death lay in one place. The need to control gun violence. I don’t recall if we did anything about that then, I suspect not or I would remember. This would have been in the mid-nineteen eighties.

In the same time period I counseled a young Black man from the Southside to give evidence against a known gangster. Another young Black man who had committed more than one murder, his violence keeping others in the neighborhood quiet.

To show the complexity. He did give evidence. And then was harassed at his job at a local pharmacy by friends of the man he’d sent to Stillwater Prison. So often that he eventually moved to Florida. His sister, too.

I think of Joseph Conrad’s, The Heart of Darkness.

Who is Wise?

Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Wednesday gratefuls: Travis and Taylor, sittin’ in a tree. Shadow’s and mine early, early morning. Morning darkness. Natalie. The leash. More and more easy. Slowly. Marilyn and Irv. Salam. Deion. Heidi. Rider. Lilla. Liks. Professor Luke. Chemistry. Metamorphosis. Ovid. Aeschylus. Homer. Virgil. Euripides. Heraclitus. Anaximander. Thales. Rhodes. Delos. Crete. Mykonos.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Philosophy

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah:  Rodef Shalom. The desire to generate well-being for ourselves and others.

Tarot: The Queen of Vessels, Salmon

“The Queen is loving, kind, and nurturing. Her spirit draws on honesty and self-sacrifice to bring joy to others, even in dark situations.”

One brief shining: Salmon, in Celtic lore, swam upstream and rested in clear, deep Pools shaded by Hazel Trees; Hazelnuts would fall into the Pool and the Salmon would eat them, gaining all the wisdom of the world. Whoever ate of this Salmon also gained that wisdom.

 

“Who is wise? Those who learn from every person.” Sage Ben Zoma in the Perkei Avot, The Wisdom of the Fathers.  One of the things I needed to learn from Rabbi Jamie was appreciative inquiry. Coming out of philosophy as a discipline argument was not only expected; it was a blood sport. Take no prisoners, follow the logic wherever it went.

Appreciative inquiry challenges this cut and thrust style by emphasizing that you can learn from anyone (see Zoma), even those with whom you disagree. You might see it as a turn from a toxic masculine need to dominate to an appreciation for the Salmon who gives of herself wholly to gain wisdom.

This was/is a difficult lesson for me. Case in recent point? Conservatism Rediscovered by Yoram Hazony. On my first read I ticked box after box. Wrong. Stupid. Unsupported. Post hoc propter hoc. Mean. Narrow minded.

I’ve reflected that in the critiques I’ve offered so far. And I stand by them and the ones I’ll make over the next few days. However, appreciative inquiry has me pausing, asking myself, what have I learned from Hazony?

OK. I’m struggling here. I disagree with him like I disagreed with Charlie Haislet, a fellow Woolly Mammoth of a conservative turn. When Charlie and I went after each other, it was knives and pistols. Over time I grew to dislike the person in me who showed up in those arguments. Needing, oh so much, to be right. Or, rather, left. A lot of heat. Little light.

Can I approach Hazony in a different spirit? Not giving up a necessary challenge to ideas with which I disagree while saying, oh, good point, that adds to my understanding.

His emphasis on family, for instance. Its centrality in the life of an individual and of the nation. The need for collective action to strengthen and support families. I disagree with his patriarchal, father knows best assumption about families, yet life has shown me that family ties are the first and most basic spot for each of us. That home is a bigger word than we often credit.

If Hazony would only loosen up, he might see that family can have, must have many different valid expressions.

Yet that family is core to the human experience? I’m down with you, Yoram.

 

 

 

I Mean, C’mon Guy

Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Tuesday gratefuls: Cool Morning. Morning darkness. Shadow and her tire. New toys for Shadow. Insulation for Artemis. Shadow and Artemis. Enriching my life. And, theirs. That Mule Deer Doe yearling. Eleanor. Tara. Marilyn and Irv. Late lunch at Three Victorias. Rabbi Jamie’s 20 years. The insuring of Shadow.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Tara’s snacks, her conversation

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Rodef Shalom. The desire to generate well-being for ourselves and others.

Tarot: Ace of Arrows, the Breath of Life

“The card signals the start of a journey focused on intellect, communication, and ambition. It’s a call to examine your beliefs and be open to new information, “spring cleaning” your mind of what no longer serves you.” Gemini

One brief shining: The small mostly black Dog ran ahead of the tawny colored Mule Deer, dashing turning, catching up then chasing, two young Animals at play, ginning up energy as they ran, the joy of being young.

 

Dog Journal: Eleanor came to visit the same day. She’s black with curly hair. A bundle of puppy doggy earnestness, movement twice as big as Shadow. They ran outside, around the yard, then back inside up the stairs to see what Tara and I were doing. Talking. Boring. Back down the stairs and outside. Quite a day for the Shadow Dog.

 

Children and Grandchildren: Tara and I meanwhile parsed the mysteries of raising children, grandparenting. Each child, each grandchild has their own, unique path. Vincent’s second bite at the Big Apple. Ruth switching her major from art to premed. Julia in her second year of a master’s degree in something neurological. In Holland. Gabe, waking up, choosing creative writing. Sophia, working at Wendy’s, fashion forward. My son, in command far away on the Korean Peninsula. All spokes radiating outward from their family of origin, all connected, yet also all so, so different.

Tara brought bacon and a Fruit salad; I made the coffee. We also talked gardening. Her Tomatoes have begun to ripen. She made Zucchini bread and had some for me. Tara starts her day seeing how her garden is doing, first looking at it from the second story deck, then wandering down to check on it up close. I go to mine each day, too.

Oh, and btw. I found my Seeds. I’d put them behind the metal bookstand next to Moby Dick. Planting Carrots this morning.

 

Just a moment: Conservative principle #2. Nationalism. “Human beings form national collectives characterized by bonds of mutual loyalty and unique inherited traditions.” Hazony places this definition over against what he considers Enlightenment Liberal understandings of the nation as a creedal collective. The French Revolution. Jefferson’s Declaration of Independence. For instance.

In Hazony’s Hobbesian world (though he lumps Hobbes in with the Enlightenment Liberals, he leaves out Hobbes’ war of all against all.) competing families form competing clans which in turn form competing tribes which then create a nation. Which competes with other unique nations.

My primary critique of his view of nationalism is that I see no evidence for competing families forming competing clans. Or, clans forming tribes. Let alone tribes creating a nation. So there.

He also, later on, makes the extraordinary claim that nations function according to the scientific method, remember historical empiricism? Like Newton the conservative nationalist observes how laws work, how programs and policies function, then inductively creates any tweaks necessary. This after what I can only call a rant about rationalism. I mean, c’mon guy, choose a path.

Creative Tension

Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Monday gratefuls: Shadow’s sweetness. Morning darkness. Shadow, destroyer of towels. Ode and his mushroom trip. His brother. Cancer. Rain. Cool mornings. Many, many green tomatoes. That Mule Deer in the yard. Learning how to use Artemis. Rabbi Jamie’s gala. My best teacher. Luke. Alan and Cheri, healing.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Artemis’ Hail protection

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Rodef Shalom. The desire to generate well-being for ourselves and others.

Tarot: Page of Bows, Stoat

“The stoat’s seasonal coat change and use as royal ermine emphasize a sacred connection to the earth and the cycle of nature. The card serves as a reminder to honor the ground beneath your feet and reconnect with your vital, ancient self.” Gemini

One brief shining: Buddy Ode wrote me from the road, a trip with and for mushrooms, all the way to Telluride with Dennis, then over to K.C. to see his brother, driving by himself much of the way, a lone Ancient Brother, a rolling meditation.

 

Dog journal:

Bandit. Saw a post on Nextdoor Shadow Mountain about a Blue Heeler named Bandit. He slipped away from his humans in Hiwan, part of Evergreen. They described him as skittish and shy, unlikely to come to a stranger. Sightings of him led them to near the Buchanan Recreation Center. Though skittish and shy even with his humans, he “finally broke down and came to us.” This week.

Boy, this is Shadow. Must be breed specific behavior. Makes me feel better about the bond Shadow and I have. And, about getting her back inside at all on Saturday.

Addenda: Stopped writing. To workout. Kate’s old sewing room that overlooks the backyard. A Mule Deer Doe, a yearling was in the yard. Shadow was not barking at her, though I wish she would. To protect my growing Vegetables that don’t yet have critter barriers.

Shadow gave an obvious play bow to the Deer. Then again. And again. Finally, the Deer got it and they chased each other in zooming circles throughout the backyard, through the Lodgepoles, around Artemis, past the lone Aspen, onto the leechfield and on and on.

I don’t know how long, three/four minutes. The Mule Deer had longer strides, might have been faster on a straightaway, but she tilted and had to correct while trying to follow Shadow’s fleet bursts of speed and turns. Play ended with the Doe’s tongue hanging out, panting. Shadow came inside, proud of herself.

 

Shadow Mountain Home: One inch Hail yesterday. Unusual for this elevation. Had  roofers knocking on doors, looking for that big insurance payout.

I’ve saved a couple of guy’s information who live here on Shadow Mountain. May have one of them come to check my roof. Of course this came just after my home insurance policy added a $5,000 deductible for any Hail damage claim. Sigh.

The good news is that I had Nathan build out the roof on Artemis so it covered the outside raised beds. One round of Hail like this could wipe out a whole season’s growth. Kale, Spinach, Beets, Squash, Nasturtiums all healthy.

Odd thing. Saw a note about planting carrots right now, letting them get sweet as the weather cools. I thought, oooh, I have carrot seeds. I can plant them in the east facing bed. I even added special soil to that bed on Saturday morning. However.

Where did I put those seeds? I bundled up the packets I hadn’t planted and put them away for next year. OK. That’s good. But where did I put the damned things? I can’t find them. They’re here in the place I considered logical a month ago. Again, sigh.

 

Just a moment: I do plan to return to the five principles of National Conservatism, but until I do I have begun to wonder about the nature of conservatives. Why they focus so much on stability and order.

The thinking in Hazony’s book is about confining the individual and the group by adherence to historical empiricism, not only as I wrote about it on Friday related to governance, but in every other sphere of life: family, (tribe, which I don’t find a convincing argument for in U.S. culture), and nation.

My take is that much, if not most, of conservative thought comes from fear-based reflections on the human experience. A fear that too much leeway to change laws will destabilize the nation or the state. A fear that accepting gender challenges will destabilize relationships. A fear that allowing women their whole life will destabilize the family. A fear that an intentionally heterogeneous citizenry will destabilize the culture.

While these fears may not be unreferented, their effect is to trap the other in the closet, in the kitchen, in a white’s only culture. That’s why we need both liberals and conservatives, conservatives to remind us of what we have and liberals to remind us of what we can yet have. A healthy, creative tension.

 

 

Shadow Eloped

Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Shadow’s return. Luke’s help. Leo’s, too. Rain. Hail. Cool morning. Morning darkness. Elul. Cheshbon Nefesh. Torah. Re’eh. Talmud Torah. Nefesh. Ruach. Neshama. Soul work. Fear. Love. Marina. Ana. Furball Cleaning. The harvest season. Combines and Corn Pickers. Regenerative Farming. Organics. Soil. Land Institute. Aldo Leopold Foundation. Wendell Berry.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Shadow’s Home

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Rodef Shalom. The desire to generate well-being for ourselves and others.

Tarot: Knight of Vessels, Eel

One brief shining: Shadow slipped out the front door when I helped Luke carry his stuff to the car, but, calling her back inside did not work this time; instead she headed for the road, I learned, again, the close bond between love and fear.

 

Dog journal: As the afternoon’s monsoon rain began to pelt down, I tried to get Shadow away from the road. As Natalie has observed, her first and last instinct is flight. Luke helped, the rain continued.

As she wandered sniffing, exploring through Jude’s yard filled with Jeep and Willy’s parts, a transmission here with the shifters connected to a long shaft but lying on the ground, Elk skeletons, old wooden pallets, discarded lumber, a barbecue grill with one glove resting on the top, a shipping container, a wagon, a fancy camper, I followed her. Fear for her safety overriding my sense of boundaries.

Shadow picked up an Elk Bone. She slowed. I tried for her collar. She ran. I know. I know. Reaching toward her makes her flinch, run, flee. I lost my mind for a while. Tried to catch her.

Her path led us out of Jude’s yard and into the neighbor’s behind me. Where the earth movers have been at work. Piles of Root filled Earth. Shadow disappearing over one of them.

Back along the fence toward an even further neighbor’s property. Luke headed her off. We pushed her toward my fence. She went. Turning the corner by the garage, Shadow ran toward the front door and inside! Ten minutes, maybe fifteen, in the Rain. Which stopped as I closed the front door and the gate I had opened for her.

Oh, Shadow. None of the commands worked. She was too stressed. So was I. The Rain. Trekking through Jude’s many obsessions. My rear neighbor leaning out the window, wondering what was going on. My dog escaped. You’re all good.

What a time.

 

Just a moment: Luke, I believe, has found his niche. Professor Luke. Teaching chemistry. To Dental Hygienist’s to be. And to future workers in Colorado’s Cannabis industry.

He rides the light rail nine minutes, makes a short walk to the Auraria campus to his office (yes, he has an office. With a window).

He’s an academic, back inside the loving arms of alma mater. No one tells him what to do. He’s allowed to use his own considerable learning and teaching experience.

I’m so happy for him. He’s got a good heart, an amazing array of talents, and has needed, as long as I’ve known him, a place to work that fits him. I believe he’s found it.

National Conservatism

Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Shabbat gratefuls: Lighting the candles. Gathering in the light. A day for friends, family, naps, and learning. Shadow mornings. Kisses. Training. Outside, Inside. Food. Re’eh. Parsha today. Rain, steady. Artemis. Between 65 and 85 degrees. Tomatoes fruiting. Kale Leaves. Spinach. Beet Roots expanding. Luke and Leo visiting.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Lighting the Candles

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Rodef Shalom. The desire to generate well-being for ourselves and others.

Tarot: The Seer, #2  “The Seer represents potential and things not yet made manifest. This is a time for quiet, solitary reflection and listening to your inner voice rather than taking action.” Gemini (a good Shabbat card) 

One brief shining: Alan sat at our usual place in the Dandelion, face drawn, his usual high personal energy muted; last week he canceled, a cold he said, but looking at him I knew what it was. Covid.

 

Covid: Alan had tested negative since Wednesday while Cheri still suffered. Covid has not left the house. I’m confident a Department of Health and Human Services war against vaccines will be greeted with good cheer in Covid dining halls. Here’s to RFK, those viruses must say, as they lift a glass to that vacuous ass.

Brought all those Covid times back. Especially Mary, only now a permanent resident of Australia, finally settled in Melbourne. And Seoah. Who ended up here for a few months, then onto two weeks of quarantine in Singapore. Kate, who never saw the end of the pandemic.

That one visit Seoah and I made to Safeway. Empty produce shelves. A staff person (essential workers, remember?) handing out one dozen eggs per customer. How wary we all were of each other.

I pick-up my groceries rather than shop for them myself. Crowds bother me. Enclosed spaces with lots of people, too. Covid boosted my natural introversion, a different, but valid rationale to stay home, see only friends and family.

 

Just a moment: I’m reading, so you don’t have to, Conservatism, by Yoram Hazony. This text by an orthodox Jew who lives and teaches in Israel lies behind Project 2025 and JD Vance’s politics.

In it Hazony argues for what he calls national conservatism. He writes well, a clear prose outlining ideas that guide policy (what there is of it) in the red tie guy’s administration.

National conservatism has, according to Hazony, five main principles:

  1.  Historical empiricism
  2.  Nationalism
  3.  Religion
  4.  Limited Executive Power
  5.  Individual Freedom

Hazony, Conservatism, p. 33-34

This morning we’ll examine historical empiricism. “The authority of government derives from constitutional traditions known, through long historical experience of a given nation, to offer stability, well-being, and freedom.” op cit, p. 33

As you can see from this definition, conservatism bases its rationale for governance on what Hazony insists on calling historical empiricism. I say insists because whatever falls outside of that purview just doesn’t count. Hazony has no problem with that since taking the path laid down by a people and their constitution will (I would say might) produce the key conservative virtues of stability, well-being, and freedom. Stability and order being the key to conservative fealty to the past.

I understand the desire to maintain a certain degree of order and stability in a state. Without order life can sink into chaos. Look at any failed state for the consequences: South Sudan, Congo, El Salvador, Venezuela.

Yet to get that stability by genuflecting to the ways of history leaves out key realities. The role of women, for instance. What to do with LGBT folks. How about the disabled?

Hazony agrees that it would be blind and stupid not to oppose slavery even though it has historical precedence on its side. He seems to think, however, that the case for other groups must remain unheard.

This is, to me, a fundamental flaw and one reason I reject his whole project out of hand. National conservativism appears willing to close off its fifth principle, Individual Freedom, in obeisance to the first.

 

A New Side of Shadow

Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Friday gratefuls: Ric. His heart attack. Mussar. Jamie. Luke, professor Luke. Leo. Rebecca. Ginny. Janice. Janet. Follow the meaning. Listening. Art Green. Shadow and her quest for the treat under the chair. Lodgepoles. Aspens. Grasses. Ground covers. Flowers. Asters. Bluebells. Penstemons. Swallowtails.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Mussar

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Histapkot. Contentment.

Tarot: Ten of Stones, Home

“The inner and outer community that sustains and supports the individual, not necessarily blood family but the trusted friends, comrades, and lovers who offer security and affection.” Parting the Mists

One brief shining: Morning darkness extends later and later as we move toward Mabon, the Fall Equinox, helping the day start cooler and my inner life grows stronger as the days become shorter, shifting from the growing season to harvest, from harvest to the fallow time.

 

Elul. The sixth month of the Jewish year. It starts just past midnight here in the Rocky Mountains. A whole month set aside for cheshbon nefesh or accounting of the soul. We Jews look for relationships we have damaged and ask for forgiveness. A friend whom you became short with? A spouse you gave the silent treatment? A child you criticized harshly? A dog you disciplined because you had a bad day?

Any rupture between you and another. We want to enter Rosh Hashanah, the head of the year, or the New Year, with nothing between us and teshuva. That is, returning to the home place of our soul. This is, by the way, often translated as repentance, but its real meaning lies in becoming the you who you truly and always are.

While cheshbon nefesh may lead us into the so-called High Holidays, the Days of Awe, and its practices may make a lot of sense for cleansing the soul, I’m more, much more, of a Sukkot and Passover and Tu B’shvat Jew. That is, a Jew who follows in the Jewish holiday cycle the turning of the Great Wheel. I imagine Rosh Hashanah covers over an ancient harvest festival. If that were part of its observance, I’d feel more like celebrating it. As it is, meh.

 

Dog journal: Oooh. A new side of Shadow.

We’ve had to strike balances with each other. She comes in at night. I let her out in the early morning. I don’t reach toward her; she comes to me. I go to bed at 7:30 so she can get me up at 4:30 or 5:00. That sort of thing.

One of the hardest for me initially involved leaving the backdoor open. She wanted it. I didn’t. Too cold. Too likely to let in mice.

Likely enough that, as the seasons have rolled toward fall, I’ve put fresh batteries in my ratzappers and placed them in spots not far from the door. Spots I know mice have liked in the past. They’ve been down for a week plus now and no mice. Huh?

Yesterday when Shadow and I were playing her favorite game, where I walk a ways, stop, and when she comes in front of me, I drop a treat behind me, suddenly she was no longer behind me.

Her tail was up and she was running fast. She pounced. Went into the tall Grass. Picked something up and shook it. Flung it into the air. I wondered what it was so I approached.

It was a mouse. A very dead mouse. She picked it up in her mouth and did a fast victory lap around the property. Look what I did! Abandon all hope ye mice who enter here.

 

 

At Least They’re Up Front About It.

Lughnasa and the 3% crescent of the Korea Moon

Thursday gratefuls: Book publishers. Books. Authors. Eyes. Reading. Learning. Studying. Thinking. Sharing. Libraries. Institutions of Higher Learning. Humanities. Poetry. Painting. Sculpture. Music. Theater. Literature. Languages. Herman Hesse. Romain Rolland. Theodore Dreiser. Sinclair Lewis. Nathaniel Hawthorne. Henry David Thoreau. Ralph Waldo Emerson. Goethe. Mann. The Glass Bead Game.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Opening a book

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Histapkot. Contentment.

Tarot: Knight of Bows, The Fox

“This card carries the themes of movement, change, and taking a new path. It suggests the need to be cunning, alert, and resourceful, like a fox.” Gemini

One brief shining: Jefferson County has a culvert repair project happening now, with a back hoe and dump truck, cutting slices of earth from the shoulders all along Shadow Mountain and Black Mountain Drive, flushing out the old crimpled culverts like mine. Where do many foxes like to live? The culverts.

 

Life for Wild Neighbors in the W.U.I. has its definite downsides. Don’t eat from garbage cans. Or bird feeders. Stay away from the Chicken coops. Please don’t forage my Lettuce, Spinach, Beets, Kale. A new threat now. Jefferson County public works flushing out your den. Not to mention crossing the road. Any road.

Of course, if we think about it, everywhere has been a wildland/human interface at some point. Even indigenous communities displaced some animals. So. A constant and ever changing interplay between human residence and Wild Animals.

Some Animals have turned this interplay on its head. See White Tailed Deer, Coyotes, Canada Geese. Raccoons. Bats. Even Monkeys in Asia. My sister sent pictures from K.L. of signs about Monkeys. There were Otters in Singapore.

Sighting a Bear waddling through the Forest, a Moose standing near a house, its head above the gutters, Elk Cows and their calves crossing Highway 74, that Fox I saw last week heading into the Trees, Mule Deer dining on my Grass. All a great joy of living in the W.U.I.

Why do we all slow down, or stop, if we see a harem of Elk guarded by a majestic Bull? We’re not tourists. We’ve seen it before. Not often, maybe. But more than once.

I suspect we have an innate appreciation for the Wild, for those Animals who live by their wits and ancient knowledge stored in their DNA. We may see them as brave, on their own in a predator/prey world that seems on the surface quite different from our own.

Yet. Watch the gutting of Medicaid and S.N.A.P. to fund tax breaks for American oligarchs. Drive through almost any Native reservation. Visit urban neighborhoods filled with unemployed teens and young adults. Or prisons filled with many from them.

Where’s the predator/prey dynamic in American culture? At least, and this may be a key to our fascination with Wild Neighbors, they’re upfront about it. Prey have developed strategies to protect themselves. Predators develop strategies to foil those protections. Nobody pretends that isn’t what’s happening.

Who’s the more honest?

 

N.B. on the images. These images show the bias built into large language models. I wanted an image with Animals and humans wary of each other, but also curious.

Tuesday, Tuesday

Lughnasa and the Korea Moon

Wednesday gratefuls: Shadow, leashed. Sort of. Morning darkness. 40-45 minutes more darkness since the Summer Solstice. Temperate Climates. A feeling of Fall. Natalie. Carol Merz. Paul. Dental hygienist. Luke and the tarot class. Tarot birth cards. Rider-Waite for me: Magician. Wheel of Fortune. Wildwood. The Shaman and the Wheel. The intuitive. The mysterious. Kabbalah.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Luke teaching

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Histapkot. Contentment.

Tarot: Five of Vessels, Ecstasy

“The beat of the universal drum is heard in the soul and it is healthy to surrender for a time and to join the dance. Energy is renewed by bathing in the cosmic life force…”  Parting the Mists

One brief shining: The gradual increase of darkness soothes me, reminds me of the spectacular gold and green of a Rocky Mountain Fall, while also ushering us away from the growing season toward Samain, Holiseason, and that favorite holiday of mine when the soul bathes in the longest night.

 

Yesterday. Talked to buddy Paul. Another call from Carol Merz, the Sloan-Kettering trial psychotherapist. Natalie, the leashing and unleashing of Shadow. My favorite dental hygienist. The last class of Luke’s, The Cards We’re Dealt.

A packed Tuesday. A theme of Paul and mine’s conversation. Persistence. Staying with life, no matter the historical or physiological barriers.

Carol called. Part of the trial for psychotherapy with people over 70 and living with cancer. Helpful, in a modest way. She’s too enthusiastic for my taste. Too attaboy. On the other hand it is good to be reminded of coping strategies.

Natalie came by. An unusual concern. There was a stabbing in Staunton State Park, only 5 minutes from her house. No one was in custody and the description matched a guy who showed up at her house, pressing the doorbell. Ring camera image on her phone.

Her husband had a stroke and can’t walk. A vulnerable adult and she was here on Shadow Mountain. I learned all this at the end of her session. Strange.

We’ve discovered a way to get Shadow on a leash. If she’s in a lap, being cuddled, she doesn’t mind having the leash put on.

I spent 15 minutes walking inside with her leashed. Leaving slack, never pulling her. Letting her get comfortable with the leash. Slowly. Slowly.

Dr. Josy and Natalie have both suggested a second dog. A playmate for Shadow and a role model for how normal dogs behave. I’ve asked them to look for candidates. Today I don’t want a second dog. Maybe I will again tomorrow.

Over to Aspen Dental. Teeth cleaning. Healthy, pale pink gums. No cavities. Lots of laughter. An insurance thang. Grr.

Last session of Luke’s tarot class through Kabbalah Experience. Accomplished its purpose for me. Back into the cards.

After I finish here, I’m going to make a list of cards I pulled during the class. I’ll let you know what if anything I learn from that.