Category Archives: Third Phase

Cinema and Television, Family, Third Phase

Music

February 6, 2017 Charles Leave a comment

Imbolc Valentine Moon

This was a weekend without the grandkids, allowing Grandpop and Grandma to decompress, take in some jazz and a movie. We saw La La Land yesterday. I appreciated what it wanted to do, but somehow it came up short for me. The plot seemed thin, the dancing and singing a little flat. A musical about folks trying to make it in Hollywood is not quite a cliche, but very close. On the other hand I like Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling and their acting made the movie for me.

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With Saturday night out at Dazzle and Thursday at Gabe’s 3rd grade concert it’s been a big week for us.

Our life has slowly begun to gain traction again after the knee disruption and the divorce. The house on Pontiac closes on February 20th or so and after that Jon will start hunting for a place to buy in Aurora. Final orders for the divorce were finished two months ago and the house is the major remaining marital entanglement. The divorce is on a downward slope now though it will take years to truly finish. Joint custody will ensure that.

The next big event here on Shadow Mountain is my birthday, hitting 70. I’m looking forward to it, feels like I’ve been getting ready for this birthday for a long time. Not sure why. Maybe it means the third phase is now finally and truly begun. No residuals from my early 60’s in this new decade.

Aging, Holidays, Shadow Mountain, Third Phase

Love Is Still Its Heart

January 27, 2017 Charles Leave a comment

Winter New (Valentine) Moon

I turn 70 next month. Not a particularly notable achievement since the silver tsunami includes millions doing the same thing this year, but, hey; it’s my only chance to hit three score and ten. Kate’s been there ahead of me and knows the territory, so have many friends. Thus, the Valentine moon.

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The old man on Shadow Mountain, that’ll be me after Valentine’s Day. One piece of gathered wisdom from the time so far: life is still precious, love is still its heart.

Commentary on the news, News of the Strange, Politics, Third Phase, US History

Now Entering Trumpland.

January 11, 2017 Charles 1 Comment

Winter Cold Moon

chamber-of-horrors We have entered a long tunnel, dark at its core, though there may be a faint light faraway. This tunnel is the first two years of a Trumpist America. Perhaps it has a sign, somewhere near the entrance: Chamber of Horrors, Fun House, or Hall of Mirrors. It is a Disneyland populated not with Mickey Mouse or Goofy, but the spectre of starvation, a ghoul of no medical care, a banshee of Twitter posts. No one knows what to expect on this first ride through the politics with no name, the policies with no shame.

Each time I read the paper my breath catches, a silent groan followed by a not so silent oath. “God, can you believe this?” This is a theme park in which the theme is noblesse with no oblige. It is a neo-Gilded age fantasy realm in which bankers regulate bankers, climate change deniers run the EPA, a racist is Attorney General, an enemy of public schools runs the Department of Education and generals run the Department of Defense. Were this a parody, it could not have been limned with more precision.

One temptation for third phasers is to hunker down, watch our nest eggs. Keep out of the way. As energy, that most valuable of health resources, wanes, it would be easy to say I have no leverage here, no power in a Trump dominated political realm, so why bother?

That would be a mistake. We third phasers are the group with political experience, who know how to fight asymmetric battles with powerful establishments. It was our generation’s birthright to take up that fight in the 1960’s. We may not lead, but we must support. Why? Because if not us, who? An advantage, a strong advantage we have, is most of us no longer have careers to safeguard, families to raise. We can take risks, challenge politicians with less personally at stake. That’s a powerful tool in this fight.

Our ride through this Chamber of Horrors is no longer optional. That ended on November 8th. Our boats have docked and in just nine days we have to get in and brave the darkness. I hope the person next to you is someone you love.

Family, Health, Shadow Mountain, Third Phase, Weather +Climate

A Little Hegge

January 8, 2017 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Cold Moon

We had a somewhat snowy, somewhat cold introduction to 2017, but in the Colorado way, we will warm up into the high 40’s for today and tomorrow.

Organ recital: Knee. Up and down stairs, bend down (still creeky), little to no pain, swelling way down, incision looks good. Illness, a cold, receding. Outlook. Cheery, more energy this week. Ready for it.

We had a fire last night. Probably haven’t used the fireplace as much as we could. It was nice, a crackling fire and the new arrangement of furniture means we’ll use it more this year. Also, saw an article about hegge, pronounced hewgah, a style of Scandinavian comfort that seems to fit in with using the fireplace more. Maybe we’ll introduce it here.

Generally feeling up after a long grind. Knee surgery has a traumatic, car crash element to it with bone saws, drills, punches, inserted metal. Recovery from the trauma of the surgery takes the most time. Nerves have to awake. Muscles need to get prodded by the awakening nerves. The swelling, which creates a lot of the pain, takes a while to resorb. All this requires patience, narcotics and family members willing to put up with an invalid. Thankfully, most of this is in the past now.

Still wondering about the immediate future, what I’ll do when I pick up the keyboard again, the Latin dictionary, the Mesillat Yesharim. Not worried, just wondering.

About a year ago I began an effort to revamp my reading. I did the bibliotherapy bit with the lovely author from Australia. I thought long and hard. And it all resulted in…very little change. I’m still wanting to get some more direction, more purpose into my reading life. Not sure how that’s going to happen, but I want it to.

Since the Pontiac house goes on the market soon, that will reduce one major obstacle to both Jon and Jen literally moving on from the divorce. The divorce is already gradually receding as a part of our lives, even though its fallout will affect us for years to come.

Dogs, Family, Health, Third Phase, Weather +Climate

Snow. Falling.

January 4, 2017 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Cold Moon

The snow has come. It started right on time at 9:30 am and continues now, at 5:30 pm. Not a lot of accumulation so far, but the forecast has the big shot coming tonight through tomorrow morning. After a quiet November and December, it’s fun to get the snow groove back. Here the weather forecasters gleefully predict the potential for lots of snow. Colorado is that sort of state.

The knee has calmed way down. I’m doing my exercises, three sets a day, and attending out patient p.t. twice a week. The whole pain, trauma, drug, rehab arc, while positive on the whole, has upset my body and refuses to let me come to a stable, yippee I’m better! place. Nausea, achiness, insomnia are hardly the four horsemen of the apocalypse but in the moment they can make a day miserable. This will pass.

I’ve also been a bit weepy today, crying (or about to) at silly stories on facebook, in the newspaper. You know the ones where the big, burly guys row out onto a fully iced lake, breaking the ice in front of them, to retrieve a dog hanging onto the edge of a hole into which he has slipped. Heroic things, compassionate acts, that sort of stuff.

I’m in that transitional phase between invalid and a returnee to normal life, neither one nor the other, pining for unremarkable days with routine moments, yet not far removed from agony and narcotics. Makes for an emotionally friable inner life. At least today.

Kate, I’m happy to say, has brightened since her normal endoscopy. She’s had a hell of a few months, especially December. She had me to care for, the grandkids here for 8 wonderful, exhausting days and the threat of some dire disease lurking under her constant fatigue. It’s enough to throw even this steady Norwegian into a bit of a spin.

Gertie loves the snow. She goes outside and immediately plunges her face into the snow, pushing along with her nose as a plow. Then she hops up, shakes off and falls over on her back, sensuously rolling this way and that, legs in the air, squirming like an overturned bug. Kepler and Rigel like the snow, too, but they’re not that enthusiastic.

Colorado, Family, Health, Judaism, Mountains, Shadow Mountain, Third Phase

Negative. Good.

January 3, 2017 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Cold Moon

Kate’s endoscopy is over with gratifyingly negative results. The GI doc was a right jolly old elf with white hair and a belly that shook like a bowl full of jelly. Swedish Hospital, where the procedure was done, is an old hospital, built in multiple oddly connected buildings of different ages. Some are brick, some the same tired modernist shtick that infests elementary schools. Overall the mood is mildly depressing.

Swedish is in Lakewood, the first ‘burb in the Denver metro after we leave the mountains headed east on Hwy. 285. Its massive ongoing construction, buildings separated from each other and a general confusion about what goes where, makes their offering valet parking a very nice gesture.

This one had Kate worried. Not me, but it wasn’t my alimentary canal being scoped either.

After Kate woke up, she got dressed and asked that I drive further east on Hampden (also 285) to the New York Deli. There we picked up a half gallon of CNS, one huge matzo ball and a pastrami sandwich. We turned back west on Hwy 285 and made our way out of the Mile High City and into the foothills, then the Front Range.

Each time we leave the Denver metro and head home into the mountains, one of us says, “I love living in the mountains.” Kate said it today. As we climbed into Conifer, flakes of snow began spitting around us, not much, but a reminder of the bigger winter storm scheduled to hit us tomorrow and Thursday.

As the storm comes, we have plenty of CNS and leftover pastrami sandwich to see us through. New York Deli has come to the mountains.

Dogs, Family, Health, Holidays, Judaism, Reimagine. Reconstruct. Reenchant., Shadow Mountain, Third Phase

The Holidays

December 31, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Cold Moon

The grandkids have been here since December 23rd, with the exception of one day. That means a full house, lots of zigging and zagging. Adding Hanukkah to the mix leaves empty boxes, unfurled wrapping paper and gifts cluttered in the living room. Lots of watches this holiday: Ruth, Gabe, Kate all got watches. Too. There were legos, several games like Pandemic, Mexican Train, Rock of Archimedes, Mille Bourne, an assortment of clothing items like socks, ski jackets, t-shirts and the odd book or dvd.

While their presence here is a blessing and one of the really good things to happen as a result of the divorce, it gets pretty stressful with five people in the house, two under 11. Not to mention that Kate has had a wounded me to care for, in addition to the other work she does for the grandkids like laundry and cooking. We will miss them when they leave tomorrow, but both of us will require some time to decompress and get back to our usual, slower old folk rhythms.

Gabe enjoys the dogs, sometimes too much. Yesterday he squeaked and squeaked and squeaked a nerf football at Kepler. Eventually, Kepler told him to stop that. He did.

Ruth and Jon went skiing again yesterday, a wonderful warm day with reasonable numbers of folks at A-Basin even though it was New Year’s weekend. Ruth loves to help. She offers to get the mail, feed the dogs, help make supper, buy presents. And then does just that.

Her audition for the Denver School of the Arts is January 7th. She has an hour before an admissions committee. By herself. At age 10. She has a portfolio of work she’s done, a lot of work, much of it prints. That weekend I’m going to take her to this place, The Inventing Room. She’s been there and loves its emphasis on nitrogen fixing of food.

The knee. So much better now. Still achy, but not bad. Biggest problem now is that it still interrupts my sleep. My workouts for p.t. are a lot of bending the knee, straightening the leg, strengthening muscles that support the knee. I have to do 3 sets. Since my p.t. is scheduled at 7:30 a.m., I’ve shifted my workout from the afternoon to the mornings. I’ll likely keep it there since it’s much cooler then in the summer.

Family, Health, Shadow Mountain, Tea, Third Phase, Weather +Climate

Chilly

December 18, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

Samain Moon of the Winter Solstice

Woke up this morning to a text from Tom Crane. He lives in the western Twin Cities’ suburb of Shorewood. It was, he said, -20. Now that’s getting chilly. Up here we started out at zero, but hit 28 later in the day. The solar snow shovel is hard at work. Yeah.

Due to my delicate condition we hired a snow plow guy, Ted. Ted moved here from Ames, Iowa, the closest town to Nevada where Kate grew up. Weird. He came early yesterday, did a great job.

I’m looking forward the next couple of weeks because I’ll begin to get up to the loft. December and January are my finishing touches months. Hang art. Make sure all bookshelves are organized. Get standard file holders for my shelves of files. Get the tea going, all things that have been waiting, I want to see them finished.

The grandkids come on the 21st, the Winter Solstice. With a short break we’ll have them through New Years. A strong family inflection to the end of the year. It feels appropriate.

Due to the pain and the drugs I’ve had less thinking time than I imagined. Not a bad thing, just a surprise. What I have had is an intense couple of weeks with my body and its limits. Being focused and present to my body has been a good thing. I probably don’t take as much of that kind of time as would be helpful.

Kate has had four days of sleeping and resting though today she ventured out shopping. Crazy, she said. She’s my beauty, my strength.

Anyhow, to all of you, happy holidays.

Family, Health, Jefferson County, Mountains, Park County, Shadow Mountain, Third Phase, Weather +Climate

Weird about the cold

December 18, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

Samain Moon of the Winter Solstice

We’re in the cool zone here. Zero right now. Coloradans are weird about the cold. When the temps head toward single digits, they break out the down coats and head for the King Sooper to stock up. They do the same when there’s much snow in the forecast, too. Kate and I just shake our heads. Silly Coloradans. Spend a winter in Minnesota.

Jon went to A-basin yesterday but due to the closing of Loveland Pass he drove all the way to Fairplay, over Hoosier Pass, through Breckenridge then backroads. A long drive, but beautiful. Fair Play is the county seat of Park County, all of which is South Park. South Park inspired the adult cartoon.

I see my internist tomorrow. She wants to check out my 02 levels and my use of narcotics. Healing faster now.

From the land of high mountains, blue skies and abundant ski and bicycle racks.

Family, Health, Shadow Mountain, Third Phase

Monitoring

December 15, 2016 Charles 1 Comment

Samain Moon of the Winter Solstice

Yes, self-absorbed. It’s one of the moral hazards of serious illness or significant medical procedures. The world is about my temperature, my pain, drugs, sleep, diet, chair. Other’s agree. For a while. But there comes a point where too much attention can become a path to a different, darker place. In that place the original cause for self-absorption passes, but the demands for preference do not. I’m raising the red caution flag for myself. (ok. yes, it’s ironic I do this on a blog devoted to my thoughts and life)

It’s time I began to take on tasks again. That gentle veil of opiates is still there, so is the pain, but my understanding of what this will take is also much greater now. Time and persistence. That’s what it will take. So, I’m on that and on integrating myself back into my life.

Kate’s taking a rest day, maybe two or three. The divorce. The grandkids on weekends. My surgery. Her own arthritis. She’s a dynamo that’s slowly wound down. Needs a recharge.

The main lineaments of the divorce, the rules of disengagement you might call them, are recorded. (I think.) Given the drama and pitched battles of the past few months you could be forgiven for thinking this is the end. Really, though, it’s the beginning. Being divorced is a verb, an ongoing action and it relates to the after marriage. Ask anyone who’s negotiated what to do with a sick kid. Or, had to choose a new school for children in a shared custody arrangement. Ask anyone whose heart thumps on that first date. Ask anyone who’s self-doubt still drags a locked trunk marked: the ex.

Let the after marriage life begin! And, as my buddy Bill Schmidt suggests, let the post-surgery life begin, too.