Category Archives: Aging

Aging, Commentary on Religion, Woolly Mammoths, Writing

Back From The Cloud

February 6, 2011 Charles Leave a comment

Imbolc Waxing Bridgit Moon

The drive home with Frank is over. We followed route 12 back east, away from Blue Cloud Abbey and the snow which had claimed a semi and an SUV on the road away from the Abbey, stopping only in Litchfield for a Chinese lunch, a buffet. We talked as usual about many things religion, politics, women and family history.

Another Woolly retreat has finished, our 24th by some counts. The 25th will break with our two decade long tradition of late January, early February dates and move us into the last days of September and the first of October, September 29-October 2. We hope this will encourage more of us to get outside, walk, hike, enjoy the weather and the place. We’ve opted for our fourth retreat at Blue Cloud Abbey. It suits our sensibility as a place dedicated to the sacred and brotherhood and is far enough away to count as a trip. It also has individual rooms and prepared meals.

We have also developed a relationship with the monks, two brotherhoods with different founding purposes, yet a common focus on the life of men together. We explore different facets of common ground each time, this time the chanting with Father Michael and some time with Father Tom. We will, I believe, prove resistant to their attempts at evangelism, hamfisted as they are, but not done in mean spirit.

Now I’m on my study computer where I’ve just entered the upcoming activities from calendar, trying to spot the time to get back to work on Missing. That will emerge this week, as I plan to get at least an hour a day in until I can squeeze out more. I may still go back out to Blue Cloud for a quiet and solitary place to write.

Aging, Commentary on Religion, Faith and Spirituality, Myth and Story, Poetry, Woolly Mammoths

Old Stories, Old Poems, Old Men

February 4, 2011 Charles Leave a comment

Imbolc Waxing Bridgit Moon

Jacob and Esau and Rebekah and Isaac came to life tonight as we felt our way into this peculiar, even troubling story of deception, betrayal, theophany and a redemptive moment followed by a warm hearted, unexpected ending. These stories still resonate, still have the power to grab the attention, hold the heart and propose new perspectives. These are stories by and for men, archetypal moments held close to the heart for thousands of years.

After the reading of these stories and a conversation that followed many paths, a few left for bed: Mark, Scott and Tom while Paul, Stefan, Charlie H., Jimmy, Warren and I sat up reading poems or, in Paul and Jimmy’s case, reciting poems from memory. Poetry comes alive when one poem sparks another and books come out, dogeared and ragged from much use. Rilke, Frost, Oliver, Pauly, Sarton, Rumi all visited us, speaking across the centuries or the decades, speaking directly into the heart.

A magic, spontaneous moment, the stuff of which retreat memories are made.

Aging, Cooking, Health

On Weight

February 3, 2011 Charles Leave a comment

Imbolc New (Bridgit) Moon

While at the Northern Clay Center yesterday, I had a conversation about weight loss. Weight loss can prove difficult for those of us in recovery since we often replace alcohol with calories. The obsessive nature of the alcoholic personality tends to keep us coming back for more, of no matter what. If we can’t have beer, we can at least have the weinerschnitzel. Many Americans, not only those in recovery, struggle with weight gain.

My own weight gain crept up on me over a period of years until I was ten to fifteen pounds overweight. I’ve tried weight-watchers, nutri-system, exercise all to no avail, at least eventually, though I lost weight with the first two each time I tried them.

Oddly, only a couple of weeks before the new national guidelines hit the newspapers, I decided to finally make up my own approach. Eat half of what I would ordinarily. Add fruits and vegetables to each meal. Don’t eat in front of the TV. That’s it.

The key to my approach is, I think, that it is my approach. I identified three troublesome areas: too much on my plate each meal, inadequate fruit and vegetables during the non-growing season months and mindless eating while I watched mindless TV. I figured I could make these modification without feeling deprived and without giving up my favorite foods. So far, so good. I’m back in my old pants, using my old belts. My energy level is up and the amount of work I can do on the treadmill has advanced impressively for me.

So, if my example amounts to anything, it’s this: identify some dietary problem areas. Decide on simple, manageable solutions. Apply them consistently. Most of all, be kind to yourself. We all die of something. We all have times when we look great and when we look terrible. Befriend the part of you that wants to get real about weight.

Aging, Family

The Truth from Ruth

February 2, 2011 Charles Leave a comment

Imbolc New (Bridgit) Moon

A couple of things I’ve been intending to write here. First, granddaughter Ruth. At gymnastics she was given a bracelet with a word on it. She removed one cube with a particular 6702011-01-15_0625 letter and showed it to her mother. “Look, mommy, I got a bracelet with my name on it.” Sure enough the bracelet read Ruth. It was only later that her mom discovered it had been handed by a Christian woman to this Jewish young girl. The bracelet originally read, Truth.

Another Ruth story. In a store with her mother, Jen, and Tennessee Grandmother, Barb, a clerk complimented Ruth on her color sense. “Oh,” Ruth said, “I’m an artist.”

Something else I enjoy are authentic obituaries, where the usual formula of passing on, entering heaven, being received by Jesus or into God’s arms get replaced with something it’s obvious someone said. A recent favorite from a 50-year old man, “Good-bye and bite me.” Says a lot. Good epitaph material. The classic for me was, “We thank Jesus for this fine Norwegian.” Another one this week, which I don’t remember all together, went, “He liked his Camels, his whiskey, and ?I think it was, his women.” Give me honesty or give me death. Or both.

Aging, Family, Retirement, Travel

A Decent Insurance Sales Agent

January 27, 2011 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Waning Moon of the Cold Month

Kathryn Kiegler has restored, no, wait that’s too strong, has challenged my opinion about insurance sales folk. She gave us good advice, walked us through the labyrinth that is Medicare and the various parts attached to it A, B, C, and D, then helped us evaluate a plan best suited to Kate’s needs. She was clear, patient, gave us the time we needed. Great person to work with.

We did hit one weird snag. Kate had not gotten her part B card, nor her letter telling her she had been enrolled. Without this letter or the card Kate couldn’t sign up for Medicare advantage at all. Kathryn called Social Security, finally, after a really long and tedious animated voice, a real human came on the line. Kathryn explained Kate’s need for the letter, the woman agreed to fax it and all seemed in order. Except. By the time we were ready to leave, no fax. None of us wanted to wait the 10-12 minutes to go through the animated phone information.

What to do? Kathryn recommended going to the Social Security and getting the letter in person. Not a bad solution since the SSA office is on Chicago Avenue and 18th, not all that far from Kathryn’s office near Westminster Church downtown. So, we drove over there. Kate went in while I waited outside. I’m not real patient with bureaucracy. When she returned a bit later, letter in hand, she told me why we had received no fax. “The man told me the Social Security Administration never faxes anything with a social security number on it.”

Hmmm. Have you ever read Kafka? Can you imagine, say, the Bureau of Motor Vehicles choosing to never fax something with a license plate number on it? Yes, of course. Identity theft. I know. Seems that such intelligent folks could have figured out a solution. One idea. When faxing a document to the person whose social security number is involved? Leave it off and let them fill it in on the other end.

The really good news in this is that our budget for Kate’s insurance costs was about double the cost we’ll pay. That probably means the same will hold true for me. That will remove several thousand dollars a year from our expenses, maybe a bit more. Where was that cruise brochure? Maybe we could afford that round the world jet junket? Nah, even at $65,000 that sounded like a cheesy deal. The Amazon River? Egypt? Possible. Maybe possible.

Aging, Family, Retirement

Finishing the Puzzle–Not Quite Done. But Close.

January 27, 2011 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Waning Moon of the Cold Month

One more piece of the retirement puzzle should get put in place today, Medicaid part D for Kate. We’re visiting an adviser recommended by both Ruth Hayden and RJ Devick to help us sort through the overwhelming number of choices.

Since last year we’ve added social security for both of us, withdrawals from the IRA, my pension, long term care insurance, Kate’s medicare, added funds to our cash savings and trimmed our budget some. Now we just have to live a few months into this way of getting our cash together and see how it works. Don’t anticipate any big problems.

Seems like the most difficult part of all this is the setting up, making choices phase. After that, barring disaster, things look reasonably smooth for us. That way, we can just go back to life as we live it day to day. Because we’ve done so much planning for such a long while now, the transition seems to have been easy, but, of course, it wasn’t. Lots of legwork, phone calls, penciled in budgets, head scratching over rules and options. Worth it though.

Aging, Asia, Politics, US History, World History

The Times They Are A Changin’ (Still)

January 24, 2011 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Waning Moon of the Cold Month

Temps have come up. Near freezing on Thursday. Break out the beer cooler, the barbecue and the hot dogs. Time for a picnic Minnesota style.

Every once in a while I find myself driving in a part of the Cities I don’t know well. Tonight was one of those times. I needed to get the Urban League building at 2100 Plymouth. Looked straightforward on the map, but, as usual, I wanted to try something, so I got off at the Olson Highway exit. Hmm. A bridge too far. I had to wend my back north through side streets. Finally found it and made it to the meeting.

Senate District 58, Linda Higgins. The Sierra Club’s first in-district meeting with members and legislators. A good turnout and a lot of good dialogue, back and forth on environmental issues, peace and justice and taxes. Back in the car, back home.

How about that news that GM sold more cars in China last year than in the US? Whoa. Things change. Our time at the top of the heap alone has come to an end. I’m not with the dystopians who see us limping toward the next century, a much larger and sadder equivalent of Britain after the fall of empire. Neither am I nervous about China. Nothing in their 5,000 year history suggests to me that they will do anything more than shore up their borders and try to make as much money as possible while living interesting lives.

My own feeling? The world will be better served with two different, but equal powers. Will we stay there with China for the long haul? I don’t know. I don’t care. How we live our lives here has become interwoven with China as an economic power, yes; but, will the superbowl or the world series cease? No. High school proms and McDonalds? No. Car trips and love of our national parks? No. Our wobbly, creeky democracy? No.

Will the US change over the next 50 to 100 years. Of course. More Latinos. Greater ethnic diversity. More people in cities. Sure. Will this makes us less American? Nope. Will it change what it means to be an American? Maybe. But are we the same Americans as those in the first 13 states? I don’t think so. Different than Civil War America? In substantive ways, yes. So, it stands to reason that American will have a different flavor in 2111. Not only am I ok with that, I celebrate it and hope my grandchildren and their grandchildren help make it special.

Aging, Faith and Spirituality, Family, Friends, Health, Retirement

Gospel

January 22, 2011 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Waning Moon of the Cold Month 3 degrees

In all the hoopla and aftermath of the party I forgot to mention the gospel. The good news. The friend’s wife I wrote about a couple of weeks ago, the one diagnosed with cancer? She came to the party. Not only that she said her energy was better than it had been for a while. She looked good, too. Both she and her husband looked still vulnerable, the residue of concern, fear lingering. She has a hormone treatment, recommended by her oncologist, that may keep the cancer at bay. Not cure it, but keep it from getting a firm grasp on her.

As Leni said, another party goer that same night, about his throat cancer, “Well, you know, the goal now is to make cancer a chronic disease. Something you can manage.” He’s living proof, having survived in apparent good health for several years now. He and the friend’s wife were not alone, either. Hank, another party goer, has leukemia, a disease kept in check now for many years, so much so that it almost recedes into the background.

These are the three I know about. There were probably others. Cancer no longer has the skull and cross-bones attached to its every appearance. Think of it. Cancer is not a new disease. It killed people relentlessly in all centuries before the last one. Now, it begins to look, at least in many cases, like the caged tiger, pacing back and forth within its chemical compound, its lethality imprisoned, though not rendered harmless.

Kate has retired from the practice of medicine as others graduate each year to take up the responsibility, this tricky act we call healing. It has more parts than chemistry and technology and knives, we know this, yet those parts themselves, the fruits of engineering and science, have a great deal to offer. Perhaps this next century is the one where the enlightenment driven side of medicine will meet the ageless truths of the human spirit, joining together in a medicine, a healing for the whole person. It may be that the last years of the baby boom generation, now upon us, will provide the impetus for this fusion.

Aging, Family, Retirement

The Hereford Queen

January 21, 2011 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Full Moon of The Cold Month 0 degrees

Here’s a picture I took with my cell phone at the Great Western Stock Show. That’s the Hereford Queen in white, all white.

Confusing. Yesterday I had cold symptoms that I had to knock back for Kate’s party. Thank you Dayquil. Today most of the symptoms are gone except that nagging, worn out feeling, the sort you get when your body has other things to do than help you be alert.

Today marks the end of Kate’s second full work week of retirement, one in Colorado and one in Minnesota. We’re still sinking back into it, realizing the nuances. Probably won’t be clear for a year or two. We need a full garden and holiseason cycle, too.

This has been a cold winter already and it will get yet colder tonight, though not as cold as last night. A fire, a book, supper, TV and bed. That’ll put this cold back in the bottle.

This was a busy week with the Target tour on Monday, the Woolly Meeting at Scott’s in the evening of the same day, getting ready for the Legcom and holding the meeting, then the last minute prepping for Kate’s party, the Expressionist tour yesterday morning, then the party in the evening. That’s a lot for this guy in terms of outside obligations. Next week looks a bit more subdued, though Monday looks like a lot going on, again. This means I can get back in the Latin groove, push myself toward finishing Vanished. It’s a keeper and I’ve a good bit of it done already.

Aging, Family, Retirement

Kate Has Other Things To Do

January 21, 2011 Charles 1 Comment

Winter Full Moon of the Cold Month -18 outside right now

Woolly Mammoths on parade. The herd came to the event last night. Docents came, too. Tom and Allison and Kathleen and Wendy and Joy and Carreen and Grace and Jean-Ann 6702011-01-20_0607 and Paul. Paula came. John Pastorius came. Suwy came, not once, but twice, at the beginning and at the end. From Shoreview. Before and after work. Kate’s nail lady and hair dresser came. The Perlichs came, Lydia and Pam. Greg and Ana came. Nurses and docs and lab techs from the Coon Rapids Clinic came. Jane and Dobbie West. Around 100 over the evening. Lois and Hank came. Jettie Ann, Jean Ann, Mingjen and a couple of other CIF folks came. There was even a woman who wandered in, not sure what was going on. Once she realized it was a retirement party she went to the gift shop and bought Kate a small beaded purse that matched her jacket.

We gave away fabric bowls, a pillow, a purse and a pint of Artemis Honey. Conversation ebbed and flowed. Servers passed sparkling cider and champagne, appertifs, too. One, a Kobe beef with shrimp in truffle aioli sauce got rave reviews. The Turtle Island String Quartet played through the speakers and the buffet always had a few folks at the counter.

Some wandered off into the museum and came back. Many had not been to the museum before. Many had. Kate wanted the event to provide closure. She said it did.

Then we loaded up the truck and drove home, the temperature dropping degree by degree to -13 as we got home.