Monthly Archives: October 2023

Asia, Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Health, Jefferson County, Korea, Travel

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Fall and the Samain Moon

Saturday gratefuls: Lutheran Spine Center. Mary. Melody. Tara. RSV vaccine. Safeway. Israel. BA cancellation. Keshet. Conversion. Mikveh. Embracing the darkness as we move toward the Winter Solstice. Samain. The fallow time. Business mornings. Tuesdays. P.T. exercises. Workouts. Keeping up with it. My novels. The new one aborning. Kep, my sweet boy. Kate, always Kate. Seven Stones. Gabe. Ruth. Friendsgiving. Thanksgiving. Relationships. Family. My boy, Seoah, Murdoch. Friends. Deciding what comes next.

Sparks  of Joy and Awe: Joann

One brief shining: Once again confirming my medications, giving my date of birth, looking at my oxygenation, my blood pressure all fine as I prepare to meet yet another doctor, this time Melody, a p.a. physiatrist, who has me bend side to side and forward, who takes both of my legs and twists them this way and that, any pain, stops and says you have every reason to be hopeful as she left the room when we were done.

 

Yes, my Korea experience still has me on the road for visits to physical therapy and then Lutheran Spine Center yesterday. Melody confirmed my conjecture that my recent neglect of resistance work probably led to my flare. Why did I do that? Not depressed. My best guess is. Got tired of it. Self care takes time. The older I get the more time it takes. Wanted to save a little time by not doing the resistance. Bad choice. Melody also made me feel good because she expressed surprise that I’d held off this back trouble for so long. Definitely your working out. And, she said, if you keep up your exercises you have every reason…

I know these things to be true. I know. But. There’s a certain weariness that comes with repeating the same things over and over. Get on the treadmill. Do the squats. The chest presses. The lawnmowers. The dips. The bicep curls and the shoulder presses. The skullcrushers. Those core exercises. Now adding in physical therapy exercises for my back specifically. Guess I need an attitude adjustment. Working out keeps me able to do the things I want to do. Like travel. Go see friends and family. Take care of myself while living alone. Pretty important stuff.

New attitude. Take the time. It’s worth it.

Similar note. Got my RSV vaccine yesterday at Safeway. Still seems weird to me to go the grocery store for anything medical. Yet there you are. Some kerfuffle with my birthdate and my medicare card made me wait longer. Then a quick jab, a bandaid, thank you. Noticed while I was there that Safeway has renamed their aisles using local street names: Barkley Road and Shadow Mountain Drive, for instance.

 

At breakfast with Tara yesterday I had an aha. At this point in my life relationships are what matter. Not even writing that new novel or finishing Jennie’s Dead. Not even traveling unless it includes building or deepening relationships. Hmm. That one may not be right. I still like to travel alone. Not even striking another blow for justice. I spend more time now having breakfast and lunch with friends, seeing Gabe and Ruth, my son and Seoah, than I do on anything other than taking care of myself. And it never gets old or repetitious. No, I’m not converting to extroversion. I still don’t like crowds or parties or too many people around. But one on one or with two or three others? Yes. That’s where the juice is in my life now.

 

 

Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Judaism, Mussar, Politics, Travel, World History

Conversion on again

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Fall and the Samain Moon

Friday gratefuls: BA canceled my flight. So, I can get a refund. Parking refunded. Tour group money held over for a trip next year. All resolved for now. With some money coming. Conversion. At Temple Emmanuel mikveh. Last week of November. Mussar. Evergreen Market. Sugar Jones. Rabbi Jamie. Zionism. Very good workout. 2 sets of resistance. Luke. Anne. Darkness my old friend. Sounds of Silence. The 60’s. Jackie. Her and Ronda’s sweetness. Her sauna. Growing my beard out.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Ritual purity

One brief shining: Ruth called yesterday wanting to know if she and her friends could have a Friendsgiving at my house, of course I said, and checked in with her about an evening out at Dazzle, the jazz club, next Saturday works for her so so good to talk with her, hear Mia on the phone saying hi Grandpa, and her other friends saying hi. Made this old man happy.

 

I’ve taken Mia in as a granddaughter from another family. She was so helpful and kind when I had to euthanize Kep, helping the vet carry him up the stairs, staying with Ruth while Kep died. Mia grew up on Oahu, moving here when her father’s biochemical company needed better access to the U.S. as a whole. She even said she missed me. Aw.

 

Yesterday was busy. Diane in the morning. Then an intense and good workout. Going up on weights on some exercises. Back exercises added in. After that a shower and over to Jackie’s Aspen Roots hair salon. Was gonna be a sprucing up before my trip. Both Jackie and Ronda were glad I’m not going to Israel. I’ve never had so many people happy about a trip I’m not taking. As I left Jackie turned to Ronda and said, we’re going to have to start looking for someone for Charlie. Uh-oh.

 

From Jackie’s straight to CBE for Thursday mussar and my second conversion education session with Rabbi Jamie. In both the mussar setting and my session with him after the focus was Israel/Hamas. The topic for our session had been Zionism which can be seen as the proximate cause of the struggle Israel and its Arab neighbors have faced since its founding.  That is, it was the Zionist movement of the late 19th century which set off the chain of events creating a Jewish state in 1948. Immediately after Israeli nationhood Egypt, Syria, and Jordan attacked it with the stated goal of pushing the Jews into the ocean. The Arabs lost the war. But the conflicts signaled in that first military action may have changed actors from time to time, but not the goal of eliminating a Jewish presence in the Middle East.

 

When we moved onto my conversion, I said I wanted to get it done as soon as practicable. A little cold for going to a flowing stream or lake for a naked plunge. Though I would have been up for that. We settled on a newer mikveh, a ritual bath that has to be connected to flowing water, built by Temple Emmanuel, a large Reform congregation in south Denver.

Discovered that Joann Greenberg had asked to be a community representative in my beit din, house of judgement, or rabbinic court. That surprised and pleased me. I have about a half hour interview with her, Rabbi Jamie, and a third Rabbi yet to be named who will also be the one who draws a spot of blood from my penis. Then, naked immersion in the mikveh. And I’m part of the Jewish community for ever and a day.

Rabbi Jamie also asked me which parsha I wanted for my conversion week. A parsha is the long weekly section of Torah that allows the entire five books of Moses to be read through in a year. At first I thought, wha? Then I got it. I want the parsha with Jacob at the Jabbok Ford wrestling an angel. That story I consider paradigmatic of my own spiritual journey. If you know the story, Jacob’s name changes that night to Israel, one who struggles with God. That story shows up this year in late November which is why the conversion will be then.

 

Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Judaism, Politics, World History

Mountain Life

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Fall and the Samain Moon

Thursday gratefuls: A cool night. Good sleeping. Marilyn and Irv. Good friends. Learning. Israel. British Airways. American Airlines. Travel. Spinal stenosis. Mary and her good work with me. Ruby and her steadfastness. Her cracked and cracking windshield. Stinkers. Safeway. Aspen Perks. Tara tomorrow. Kate. My sweetheart. Ruth and Gabe. Judaism. My inner world. Yours.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Inner life

One brief shining: One night I meditated as I first got into bed letting thoughts come and go not holding on to them got to a state of calm, no ideas flowing and I could feel my brain reaching out with black tendrils wanting to find any stray nugget, an image, a word, a slice of an idea to wrap onto, react to, absorb and use.

 

I find the big news today the dog that didn’t bite. Israel has not yet launched its ground assault on Gaza. Thomas Friedman suggested yesterday that the best thing Israel could do right now is to not invade. It would show a humanitarian approach to the war in stark contrast to the murderous rampage that began with the Hamas incursion. Could still happen of course but remember Israel gave a 24 hour notice to Gaza north a couple of days ago.

 

The Israel/Hamas war has so captured me that I’ve not followed our orange Julius’ various trials. Suppose he’s still in trouble. At least I hope so. Although the more indictments and gag orders he gets, the better his poll numbers in the GOP race. Has to be one of the more puzzling and frankly disconcerting pieces of political news in my lifetime. The more criminality revealed the more supporters he gets!

Not to mention of course the specter of Jim Jordan as Speaker of the House. And the brave odd group of Republicans in his way. We’re a nation without a capacity to govern, hemmed in by a Supreme Court wedded to a strange mode of interpreting the Constitution, while preparing for a presidential race next year that could feature old white men. Again. How we got to this point will be a subject of monographs, monologues, books, movies, and cartoons for years to come.

 

Had breakfast with Marilyn and Irv yesterday. At Primo’s, a cafe just down the hill from them in King’s Valley. Talked about travel. Marilyn’s indefatigable. She’s been to Berliz, Scotland, Arizona, and New York City just this year. She gave some tips about getting my money back from British Airways. Gonna give it the old college try. If not, I’ll travel in the spring to Israel on my own. Using Keshet as my private tour agency.

Today is busy. Diane. Workout. Haircut. Mussar. Rabbi Jamie on Zionism. A session for my conversion. We’ll discuss what to do now that Israel’s not going to happen. Tomorrow, too. Tara breakfast. RSV vaccine. Lutheran Spine Center. CBE kabbalat shabbat, welcoming the sabbath. Part of my own commitment to the conversion process is regular attendance at Friday evening services.

 

 

Dogs, Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Judaism

Seven Stones

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Fall and the Samain Moon

Wednesday gratefuls: Stones. Unveiling. That metal red heart. Judy. Rabbi Jamie. Mussar. Seven Stones. Remembering. Anne. Tara. Barbara. Marilyn. Susan. Mary. Keshet. British Airways. Israel. Back pain. Nerve glides. Core exercises. Naps. Brook Forest Black Fox. Killed. Israel. Biden. Hamas. Hezbollah. Travel. Conversion. Judaism. My people. War. Peace. Kate, always Kate

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Unveiling

One brief shining: Rabbi Jamie and I walked along cobblestone paths, past sculpture, past memorials carved in stone, past a columbarium, past a small pond and large green lawn which had a hill and gravestones, to the metal red heart of the pet cemetery where I had placed ashes of 15 of Kate and mine’s canine friends: Celt, Sorsha, Morgana, Scot, Tira, Tully, Buck, Iris, Hilo, Kona, Emma, Tor, Orion, Gertie, and Vega.

 

Up and out at 7:30 am yesterday for an 8:10 appointment with Mary, my physical therapist at Bergen Park P.T. in Evergreen. Mary is a keeper. She’s smart, kind, knowledgeable, encouraging. And Korean. She’s got me setup for handling my back issues over time, including during more travel. P.T. exercises like nerve glides (opening space in the spine) and core muscle work for times when things begin to flare. Strength training overall for better stability. Mary also wrote a summary of her work and findings that I can take to the physiatrist when I visit Lutheran Spine Center on Friday.

 

Later in the day I drove to Chatfield and Seven Stones cemetery. Judy Sherman’s unveiling. You may recall Judy was my friend who died last year, choosing death with dignity after five years of ovarian cancer. In the Jewish tradition a gravemarker unveiling occurs at least 11 months after a death. As Rabbi Jamie explained it, the reason for the tradition is a belief that the soul of the deceased stays around for a year to be sure their loved ones are all right. After the unveiling (a canvas covering was over Judy’s gravemarker), the soul can leave this realm. In certain Jewish traditions it is believed the soul returns to the Garden of Eden.

Whatever the metaphysics the unveiling offers a time a year after a death to gather, to memorialize. Similar to the yahrzeit which acknowledges the date of death according to the Jewish lunar calendar.

We also placed stones at Judy’s marker. This tradition, which I asked Rabbi Jamie about as I placed a stone at the red heart in the pet cemetery, participates in the burial. It comes from the necessity in ancient times of placing rocks on a grave to prevent depredation by wildlife. It also marks a visit.

Judy underwent aquamation. Water cremation. The water from her cremation feeds a pine tree growing next to her marker. The marker itself was communal and had room for 12 names.

Seven Stones is a beautiful and thoughtful cemetery. There are spots for aquamation, for scattering ashes, a columbarium, a place for caskets, several places for memorial stones. The cemetery has modern sculpture throughout, cobblestone paths, and lots of trees. Made me want to have a memorial, something I’ve not considered before. Maybe something for Kate and me. Since the dogs are there already.

 

Commentary on the news, Judaism, Politics, Travel

Life remains

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Fall and the Samain Moon

Tuesday gratefuls: Israel. Hamas. Hezbollah. U.S.A. Germany. Ukraine. Great Britain. Jordan. Lebanon. Saudi Arabia. Iran. Iraq. Kuwait. The Emirates. War. Peace. Restraint. The world in trouble. Tom. Diane. Mark. Mary. Great Sol spotlighting the Lodgepoles at the peak of Black Mountain. Mice. Fox. Mule Deer. Elk. Bears of all sorts. Mountain Lions. Maxwell Creek. Bear Creek. Cub Creek. North Turkey Creek. Starlink. Creative Audio. British Airways. Traveling. My back. Mary, my physical therapist.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: The Rules of War

One brief shining: Black Mountain sets its curved body against the Colorado blue Sky, accepting Great Sol as the light and warmth pour onto its Lodgepoles, it provides a way for Moose and Elk to cross from Staunton State Park to Shadow Mountain and back again without human interference.

 

And here’s another, perhaps more important truth. Life goes on while Israel masses tanks and soldiers and other instruments of war at the Gaza Strip. The Mountain Lion waits on an ailing Elk to pass under its ledge. The Marmoset skitters quickly back into its rocky den. A Raven lands in my front yard. The schoolbus picks up students. I get in my car and go to Evergreen, another appointment with Mary.

I learned this after Kate died. My world shaken to its core traffic went by on Black Mountain Drive. The Mule Deer wandered into the yard eating bunch grass. CBE had its services. Netflix streamed movies and TV dramas. Even the same ones Kate had watched as her time came to an end. We wink out and are gone. The same with nations. Where now is Rome? Carthage? Akkadia? Persia? The Greece of Alexander the Great? Even Yugoslavia. Czechoslovakia. The USSR. Gone.

There is a difference here though. Israel and its existence represents so much to Jews around the world. Hamas attacking it is an iteration of other attacks throughout the centuries. Attacks Jews have weathered, come out of stronger and more determined. If Israel were challenged with defeat, it would not slide easily into the dustbin of time.

Ran into Ellen Arnold after my physical therapy. We talked for a bit. Shaking our heads. No easy or obvious solutions. So little understanding of the complex history of Israel and Palestine since 1948. Nobody comes out of it with laurels. All are implicated. Jews and Arabs alike.

 

Back to my old pattern with cardio and resistance, balance work. Felt good to get past one set of resistance. Up to two. Three next week. What I need. Going to consider setting specific goals for cardio, resistance, balance. Interesting advice from a primer on how to extend healthspan suggested this improves performance and healthspan.

 

Not traveling now. In spite of British Airways refusing to refund my ticket. I could still go since so far they are flying into Tel Aviv. No group tour now so makes no sense. Doesn’t matter to BA. May have to reschedule for May if they don’t stop flying to Tel Aviv by a week from tomorrow.

 

Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Judaism, Politics, World History

The Abyss Stares Back

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Fall and the Samain Moon

Monday gratefuls: Reimagining the Divine. Toba Spitzer. Israel. Hamas. Hezbollah. Anti-semitism. Peace in the valley. American Airlines. Canceled all flights to Tel Aviv till December 4th at the earliest. Evergreen Market. The darkness. The ohr. The mice. The Rat Zapper. A conversation about Israel at CBE yesterday. Fear. Anger. Rage. Deep sadness. Confusion. Overwhelmed. Helpless and hopeless. Why do they hate us? How can we help? Kepler. Murdoch. Rigel. Vega. Gertie. Kate, always Kate. Ruth and Gabe.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Deep emotion

One brief shining: The guy with the blue kippa and long straggly beard, Ron standing tall and sad, Marilyn in shock, Rabbie Jamie with the microphone hoping to hold the congregation together, faces and names projected on a screen-members on zoom, we gathered not trying to understand but to feel our way through this long old dark tunnel. Again.

 

This palpable fear is new to me. A friend took the microphone at CBE and talked about it. Having felt safe in Evergreen for eighteen years. Now. Fear has crept in, making those who thought maybe this time, maybe this place. But no. The world reaches out and grabs Jews by the shoulder. Hey, pay attention! This will never be over.

Why do they hate us? Why do they kill us? Will they kill me? My children? My parents? My friends?

And I know you may be tired of this long story now in its tenth day or its third millennium, I’m sorry but this is front of mind for me and my friends right now. I can’t look away. Once each generation someone said. Ron said he was twelve during the Yom Kippur war. A sign at a rally: Never Again is Now!

This is the hard part for a non-Jew to understand. The visceral, perhaps even inherited trauma of centuries of pogroms, holocausts, violent hatred. The way an attack like the Hamas made on Saturday is not an event, not a singular instance, but another one. Calling to mind the Cossacks attacking the shetls, the gunman in Pittsburgh, the ghettos in European cities, the Nazis and their latter day admirers marching in MAGA parades, the parade in Skokie, the anti-Jew and Black real estate covenants in American cities. All remembered. All resisted bravely until. The fear rises again.

Followed by or experienced with a deep sadness. For grandparents dead in the ovens. For children slaughtered in their homes. For an existence  always threatened. For a life lived like others that is unavailable.

Of course, too. Anger. Rage. The desire to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them. To be. Not to just be, to live,  to thrive. With agency that turns away hatred by any means necessary. Danger. Danger. Danger.

When staring into the abyss…

And, of course, the rules of war. The rules of humans in rage states. When blood lust can take over, run the show. Yes, especially then, the rules of war. Especially then. Do not let the monster we fear become who we are. All so, so hard. All so complex. All so, well, human.

Commentary on the news, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Judaism, Politics, Travel, World History

No. Easy. Answers.

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Fall and the Samain Moon

Sunday gratefuls: My boy. A sweet man. Seoah in her cream outfit. Murdoch looking happy and fit. Zoom for the far away, a real gift of technology. Israel. Hamas. Hezbollah. Lebanon. Egypt. Iran. Saudi Arabia. Shiites and Sunnis. Jews and Christians. War. Jus in bello. Divided nations. A world on the brink of too much. Fighting. Warming. Fear mongering. Hatred. Let’s turn it around, make it a world overflowing with too much love. Blinken. Biden. Thousand and One Nights. Bereshit. A dawn coming.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Love

One brief shining: Those photographs burned out cars, children being carried into a Gaza hospital, the bloodied sheets in a kibbutz home, tanks cranking forward, bodies of Israeli’s and terrorists held in bags, missiles painting the air with white trails, and I sit here on Shadow Mountain watching the sun outline Black Mountain for another morning, a new day, a new life, another chance to live and love.

 

Sadness. Grief. For all of us. For Israelis and Palestinians. For the oh too delicate fabric of order, a thin veil now in the Middle East. What happens if Ukraine and the Middle East stay in conflict for weeks, months, years? How thin will that same veil become not only in the Middle East but in Europe, in the Far East? How long will it take for the veil to turn into a shroud? These are dangerous, dangerous times not only for those poor folks in Israel and Gaza and Kyiv, but for all of us.

What are the steps toward a world at war? Are we seeing them right now? With Russia and China standing with the Arab countries, against the Ukrainians? The world order, new or old, always bears the potential for large scale conflict.

Talked with my boy last night. Thank god he’s in a nation at war, but one with an armistice in place and a relatively calm current situation. Strange to think of Korea and the Far East as a safer place right now, but it is. Could change of course. And, in a moment, like Israel, but that seems unlikely.

 

As to my conversion. Which will not happen in Jerusalem this Samain. Made more real, more certain, more actual in spite of no ritual by the sudden immersion in what it means to be a Jew in the Middle East. And in the U.S., Europe. In an existential way new to me I feel the buzzing, blooming confusion of anti-semitism engaged by other Semites. Of the desire for a safe haven after the horrors of the holocaust so often challenged by vandalism, by speech, by acts of violence, by murder, by terrorists. This is not the first war Israel has fought. Nor, I’m sure, will it be the last.

What is new to me is not the moral bifurcation of Israel as victim and Israel as occupier, oppressor. No, that bifurcation a source of tension and uncertainty has existed since 1948 and the formation of the nation. What is new to me is the recognition that anti-semitism will not just die away with that political solution or that military intervention or that expression of good will. Which makes me see Israel’s defense of itself in a different light, a burden of strength in a world that still wants to kill Jews, does kill Jews for being Jews. How can it be both a bulwark against anti-semitism and a peaceful neighbor to folks who want to see it erased from the world map? No. Easy. Answers.

Family, Health, Politics

An Addenda for Kate

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Fall and the Samain Moon

Grateful for this article: Doctors at Allina Health Unionize and even more grateful for the docs who made it happen.

Kate retired in 2011, 12 years ago. She had burned out on medicine long before. Why? Not her patients. But the demands of corporate medicine and its rabid insistence on revenue capture. Upcoding was pushed and pushed hard. Upcoding means doing those things in a visit that qualify for a code that brings in more money than the original or anticipated code for the visit. Patient visits were shortened. Again, more patient visits per day means more revenue capture. Though it wasn’t often an issue in pediatrics the shortening of hospital stays did affect Kate’s sickest patients since they were the ones who ended up in the hospital. Note that neither upcoding nor shorter patient visits nor shorter hospital stays have good patient care as their motivation. In fact the results are often the opposite of good patient care. That is, to be clear, they create bad care.

Kate and I talked about doctor’s unions a lot. Looked up some information. Talked to some others. But the time wasn’t right. The pandemic induced staffing shortages have made this the right time. And I’m so glad, for Kate’s sake, that leaders in this new movement are physicians at her old place of employment: Allina.

Go union!

Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Judaism, Politics, Travel, World History

Cancel Culture

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Fall and the Samain Moon

Saturday gratefuls: My colon. Meds. My son, Seoah, Murdoch. Songtan. Evergreen. Conifer. Pine. Bailey. Us Mountain folk. Those down the Hill. Stars in the night Sky. Great Sol. Israel. Hamas. The rules of war. War. The USAF. Diane. Tom. The Ancient Brothers. This computer, now so old yet still at work. Palestinians. Israelis. Lebanese. Iranians. All human. Difference. So potent. The Fox yesterday at Upper Maxwell Falls. Aspen’s lighting the way toward heaven. Toward the light in the inner sky. Fall in the Rockies.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: 21 degrees right now

One brief shining: My neighbors and I have only one evacuation route, left or right, toward Conifer or Evergreen, and if wildfire comes we’ll pile up on it in haste like the Gazans now trying to leave the north of an already small territory, the wildfire has come for them in the form of the IDF, a human wildfire stoked by rage and vengeance, what we here in the Lodgepole forest would call a crown fire.

 

First thing now I look at Haaretz, then Yediot, then the Jerusalem Times. Later I scan the NYT and the WP. Not sure what I’m looking for, trying to find a way through this thicket of information. One that doesn’t end in news I don’t want to see or hear. No luck with that so far.

I feel like I can have a good grasp of what’s going on at least at a macro level, but at the point of individuals and families, suffering. No. I think of my son and his family first value. Must be the same with Israelis and Palestinians. Right? What does, can that mean in the current context?

Speaking of context. I found this opinion piece by Haaretz columnist, Anshel Pfeffer, very astute on the larger and historical context anti-semitism places on the Israeli/Hamas struggle: The Inconvenient Context: Palestinians Massacred Jews for Being Jews

As of this writing, I’m 98% sure I’m not going. Diane rolls her eyes here. Why not 100%? Well. You know. Until we all discuss it together I won’t decide for sure.

Several couples have already canceled their flights and Keshet, our tour operator, will send out a letter on Monday or Tuesday outlining our options with them. I hope postponing is the favorite option. I’m willing to let them hold onto my money if that will help them survive this crisis. Not keep it. But hold onto it until another tour can get scheduled.

 

Meanwhile American Republicans rise to this escalating military and humanitarian crisis by failing to choose a speaker for the House. By supporting their felonious candidate who dodges debates and acts like a spoiled child angry at his parents. By trying to force the government into a shutdown. Again.

We, the world hegemon, cannot act within our own system of governance. How can we expect to be guarantors for any one else?

Read an interesting analysis that suggested the Ukrainian and Hamas/Israeli situations might be linked to our waning power as hegemon. Regional actors may feel emboldened to just go for it in situations where the threat of U.S. intervention would have given them pause in the past.

This is called multi-polarity, a world in which no one power dominates. Hope this is wrong.

 

Feelings, Fourth Phase, Health, Judaism, Korea, Politics, World History

Spine and Restraint

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Fall and the Harvest Moon

Friday gratefuls: Mary, my physical therapist. Nerve glides. Home exercises. Spinal stenosis. Tamed, but not gone. CBE. Mussar. All the mussar folks. Luke. Anne. Marilyn. Nancy. Ginny. Ellen. Sally. Janet. Jamie. The Shema. Israel. Keshet. Geoff. The international rules of war. The IDF. Palestinian civilians. Israeli civilians. Exercise. Evergreen Market. Sugar Jones. Easy entrees. Safeway. Ruby and her good work for me. Snow. A hard freeze. Cold night. Dreams may come. Black Mountain Lodgepoles with a Frosty look. Stars.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Core muscles

One brief shining: Mary attaches a band to my raised legs and harnesses herself to it, then pulls back with her body weight, about 110 pounds, to create gaps in my lumbar vertebrae so my nerves will be happy and not angry.

 

Mary, my physical therapist, is a compact woman. Five feet two and a hundred and ten pounds. An adopted Korean. She’s going to Korea next year for the first time. I’d say she’s maybe 26, 27. We talk about my son and Seoah, about Korea and its evolving attitudes toward women. And Korean women’s evolving attitudes toward their historic role. I admire her grit and her independence. She lives in a cabin on someone’s property in Evergreen and has for three years plus. On her own. She’s a good therapist. She listens and she teaches with kindness. A good find in case my body continues to give me fits. As I’m sure it will. She says we’re making good progress.

A week from today is my appointment with the Lutheran Spine Center. The doctors there are physiatrists, docs who diagnose the cause of pain and develop treatment plans for it. Mary is the practical, right now approach to acute care. The Spine Center will develop a plan for how I deal with the stenosis long term. Good to have both available and especially good to get into Mary early so I can alleviate my symptoms right now.

None of this detracts from the good care I got in Korea. The orthopedist there and Mr. Lee took an acute and painful situation, turned it around so I could continue my trip with limited pain. They have my gratitude.

 

I’ve attached four paragraphs* from a very useful article in the New York Times this morning. In it the author, Amanda Taub, makes quite clear what several centuries of human observations of war and its consequences have done to adjust our understanding of how and why wars should be fought. I found it useful for sorting through the confusing and contradictory feelings I’ve been having. Yes, Israel has a right to fight back and defend itself against Hamas. Of course it does. And, further, what Hamas has done in murdering civilians and taking hostages contravene the international laws of war.

What Taub’s article makes clear though is no matter the why of Israel’s justified response it must still follow the international conventions which ensure protection of civilians. Hamas’ crimes do not justify similar crimes during Israel’s invasion and bombing of Gaza.

Several questions will arise once this war comes to an end. What is a viable and permanent solution to the Israeli-Palestinian dilemma? Why did the IDF fail to act earlier and quicker? What happened to Israel’s vaunted intelligence gathering? Why is Netanyahu still in power? Why are the far-right officials in the Israeli government still there? What direction can Israel take to ensure a long and lasting peace? Yes. All these questions will be front of mind the day hostilities cease. But now, right now, the question is how to restrain the IDF from acting against civilians. And that must happen. For the future questions set out above, yes, but more importantly for the protection of Gaza residents. Now.

 

 

*”Two principles are particularly helpful. The first is that the “why” and the “how” of war are separate legal questions. The justice or injustice of a cause of war does not change the obligation to fight it according to the rules of humanitarian law.

The second, related principle, from which much of humanitarian law derives, is that civilians are entitled to protection. Armies and other armed groups cannot target them directly. Nor can they disproportionately harm them in the course of pursuing legitimate military goals. And those obligations still apply even if the other side violates them by targeting civilians themselves…

The core principle of jus in bello is that civilians cannot be targeted for military purposes, or disproportionately harmed as a means to a military end. That’s true regardless of the legality of the underlying conflict, and regardless of whether the opposing side has itself violated humanitarian law.

“The most straightforward way to think about that is just that the protections are protections for human beings,” said Tom Dannenbaum, a professor at the Fletcher School at Tufts University who is an expert on humanitarian law.” This NYT article by Amanda Taub