Category Archives: Health

Acting, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Health, Judaism, Korea, Mussar, Travel, Woolly Mammoths

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Winter and the Valentine Moon

Sunday gratefuls: The Ancient Brothers. Alan. Housing matters cleared up. Mostly. Ron. Luke. Bread Lounge. Evergreen. The ice fisherfolk on Lake Evergreen. The 8 outdoor ice hockey rinks on it. Those 30 or so Elk hanging out. The drive down. Rocks. Mountains. Ice covered Streams. Lodgepole Pines. Ponderosa. Aspen. Chinook Salmon toast and that Dulce le Lecha croissant. Coffee.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Jew with Guns

 

Going to Evergreen Players today to see one-act plays directed by Tal’s last directing class as an employee of Evergreen Players. Alan has one in the showcase. Ron Solomon’s coming, too. Looking forward to that. A matinee. That magic word in my world of the performing arts.

Ron sat down with Alan and me at the Bread Lounge yesterday morning. He’s a screenwriter cum entrepreneur. He was part of the writer’s room for Saved By the Bell, but he didn’t like L.A. He wrote a book about Navy Seals published three or four years ago. Now he’s running a company that helps wholesalers make sure their retail prices hold up in the marketplace.

Ron’s also in the MVP group. He’s a very smart guy. Been around CBE for  years. He mentioned that later in the day he and Dan Herman, past president of the Synagogue, had an appointment at a gun range in Golden with a group called Jews with Guns. I’m not getting on a train. The Synagogue shooting in Pittsburgh pushed him over the edge.

I told them that if it came to it I’d get a rifle and help them defend the Synagogue. Friends are worth dying for. Family, too. A silly misadventure in Vietnam dreamed up by anti-communist old white men? Not so much. I’m no pacifist. Though Kate was. Thorough going. Miss her.

Alan’s house is sold. He was going home to pack after breakfast. They close on both deals next week. Move in February. Glad for him. Moving stresses. Not easy.

 

Glad I dropped back to learn Hangul. Still working at it, but when I get done learning Korean will be easier. Hope to get over there for a month next October. Though. CBE’s got an Israel trip planned at the same time. Always wanted to see Israel. This could be a good opportunity. Will clarify as we get closer.

 

The what will I pay for my cancer drugs circus still has its tent up. No word yet on the foundation the nice lady from McKesson told me about. I’ll have to pick up some more Erleada samples if I don’t get a call before Tuesday afternoon when I see Kristie.

Good news though. PSA still undetectable. Lab results came early this morning. Testosterone at 11. Low testosterone is 287 at which point fatigue becomes a factor. Alan’s getting his testosterone boosted for that reason. As for me. Well, I tire easily. But. My cancer doesn’t get its food. That’s the concept.

 

Ancient Brothers topic this morning is space. The space between and among us. Is it too far? Too close? Mussar has a lot to say about this.

 

 

Cooking, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Health, Hermitage, Politics, Shadow Mountain

A bit of an organ recital. Another gun rant.

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Winter and the Valentine Moon

Tuesday gratefuls: Robin and Michelle. Space Wranglers. Coming today. Kep, the sleeper. Award Winning Pet Grooming. His next big adventure. Cool temps. 8. The Rockies in Winter. Alan and his moving angst. Computers. Zoom. Smart phones. Cancer meds. Imani Perry. A good nights sleep. Mark. Mary. Diane. Tom. Ancient Brothers. Vince. Furball Housekeeping. Ana.

Sparks of joy and awe: Clean house. Thanks, Ana and friend. Makes my daily life better. This time they loaded the dishwasher and ran it, too. Feels good to have a clean house.

 

While they work, I worked out. Getting in 70 minutes of quality time with my old friend the treadmill. For some reason I’ve been resisting resistance work. (see what I did there?) Know I need it. Or sarcopenia will keep getting worse. Just. Not. Doing. It. Right now.

Might need an Ode solution. Go to some faraway Beach and walk in the Sand and the Sun.

 

Used my air dryer for the first time last night. It cooked my tator tots while I fried my Alaskan Rock Fish on the stove and cooked peas in the microwave. Using all my electrical appliances in a coordinated fashion. A kitchen symphony. Most excellent.

Been doing my own cooking almost exclusively over the last couple of weeks. Liking it. Lost some weight in the process. As my doc thinks is important for me to do. Four, five pounds.

 

On paying for my cancer meds. OMG. So I asked about the billing of my orgovyx at $135 instead of $896. The McKesson finance department in response sent me every bill they’ve ever made with my name on it. Thankfully online. With the last one which reads $135. WTF. And on the Erleada. Would I like to have help with my copay? Sure, but if it’s the manufacturer’s plan I don’t qualify for it. Oh, no. This is a foundation. Not the Assistance Fund? No, something different. Well, hell yeah. We’ll see if I qualify.

But, in the interim. No Erleada. Fortunately I have some free samples and a bit more from my last delivery. Otherwise. This helping would be creating over a two week lag in my meds. Sigh. Still, better to have folks trying. As long I have some meds. I mean, they are for my cancer after all.

Between this and the moving target that is my thyroid stimulating hormone, some changes to my blood pressure meds and statins. Getting complex. Along with upcoming appointments to a vascular surgeon and a new pulmonologist. Dentist. And I feel fine. Except for this damned fatigue. Worst in the afternoons.

Thus endeth the organ recital.

 

7 more in California. Half Moon Bay.

“In the first few weeks of 2023, at least 69 people have been killed in mass shootings across the country, including two shootings within days of each other in California.” ‘Tragedy Upon Tragedy’: January Brings Dozens of Mass Shootings So Far

And the folks who sponsored this epidemic of gun ownership and their violent use on other humans want to take over the government.

My heart does not like this. How much sadness can we stand until we do something effective?

 

 

 

Dogs, Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Health, Korea, Mathematics, Shadow Mountain, Weather +Climate

The Great Wheel turns for us all

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Winter and my 76th Valentine Moon

Saturday gratefuls: Alan. The Campfire. Snow. Dribs and drabs keeping the Mountains white. Going out today. Adventure! Watching women’s soccer on HBO. Motorsports Magazine. Road and Track. Bomani Jones. Going to Savannah and Charleston with Imani Perry. Doctor Who. New Amsterdam. Collard Greens and Kielbasa. With a tangerine chaser. The nudger. Lao Tze. Chuang-tzu.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Friends

 

Color me confused. Looked at my credit card statement. After all the heavy breathing, my charge from McKesson pharmacy for the orgovyx was $135. Not sure if it’s a mistake or not. They told me $896 on the phone. With Erleada yet to come. This whole damned thing. Who needs this $*!#?

 

I’m feeling proud of myself this morning. I did go through all of the boxes in the Kate dining room. Took out some, left most. When Robin comes on Tuesday, she’ll be able to load those directly into her and Michelle’s vehicles, take them to recycling. Should be time left over for the pruning I’ve done in the new upstairs office. Might even get to that walk-in closet before they come. Yes, sir. Moving things along.

Also my Korean’s improving. At least on Duolingo. When I see Seoah next, that will be a good test. Now I’m saying very, very low level learning. For speaking. Better for reading and understanding. Very low level. But still a long ways from zero. I’m picking up the occasional words on K-dramas now. No sentences yet. Amazing myself. I am working at it daily. I know both math and languages require daily work.

Hangul makes it harder. Obv. I need to go back and refresh the Hangul that came at the start. Though. The repetition has me recognizing more and more. Not sure of the pedagogy. Am I learning the Hangul through repetition? I am, yes, but is that the plan? I don’t know. Verbs? Not so much. A little exposure that I’m not sure I understand.

 

Yes, this new moon will be the 76th to preside over my birthday on Valentine’s Day. Wowzer. Closer to 80 than 70. Odd. As I’m sure everyone who hits this marker feels. Life keeps offering surprises, joys, love. I’m good for another decade anyhow. Psychologically. Physically? We’ll have to see.

It will feel strange to cross the line, if I do, past Kate’s age at her death. 76 years and nine months. October of this year for me. As it felt strange to turn 47, the age my mother was when she died.

Not sure if I mentioned here coming across Kate’s couple of pages description of our dogs. Made me cry a bit. Her handwriting. Her thoughts on the page. Our shared love of the many, many dogs we both knew and cared for. She’s gone, but her memory is for a blessing. As my Jewish friends say. Her second yahrzeit comes this April. Hard. Two years gone.

Still alone but not lonely. Me. Knowing now the Great Wheel does turn even for those we love, and for ourselves. The consolation of Deer Creek Canyon. Yes.

Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Health, Literature, Politics, US History, World History

Books and the dumb side of Politics

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Winter and the Wolf Moon

Saturday gratefuls: Kate and our IRA. Enough money to keep me alive. Another new knee. Warren. Ode. Now Stefan. Age and its attendant insults. Medicine and its remedies for them. Rich’s new class. Looks fun. The Muddy Buck. Old Evergreen. The Evergreen Hotel, long gone.  Evergreen. A mighty fine Mountain town. Living in the Mountains. The silence of a Shadow Mountain Night. Sleeping. Kep, the dogged. Solving problems. Accepting reality.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Silent Night, Holy Night. Every Night

 

All that. Money stuff. Doctor and pharmaceutical stuff. Put to bed for now. Moving on. Occupied me for two days straight. Gotta have stuff to do when you old.

 

Reading two new books. Stunners. The first South To America by Imani Perry. A professor of African Studies at Princeton. A delicate, hard fisted, beautiful intelligent travelogue of her journey to her home state of Alabama. She begins at Harpers Ferry with thoughts on John Brown, Confederate reenactors, an unexpected conversation with one who volunteers at a store that’s part of the historic Harpers Ferry.

She writes about race and racism in a way that enfolds and  unfolds its complexity. An example. Her feelings of tenderness toward the exploited coal miners of Appalachia. All of them. Then an observation about how even in the mines Blacks had the filthiest most dangerous jobs. Lived on the fringes of white poverty.

I’m still early in the book. Virginia. Trenchant and profound observations about Thomas Jefferson and Patrick Henry. Both owned slaves. Both believed it was wrong. But lust overcame Jefferson and ambition overcame Patrick Henry. They kept their slaves.

 

The second. The Good Life. By Robert Waldinger and Marc Shultz. Director and Assistant Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development. Longest running longitudinal study of human development in the world. Its message. Develop and keep good relationships. Intimate ones. Friendship. Family. Even strangers. Well written, clear. Helpful. Reinforcing.

In that spirit I have breakfast with Alan this morning at the Parkside Cafe in Evergreen. The newer part of Evergreen. For locals. Tourists sneak in on occasion, too. Near the Bread Lounge. Often has folks I know.

Rebecca Martin should be back from India and we can resume our breakfasts. Luke and I have our lunches. Diane and Tom. The Ancient Brothers. MVP. Mussar on Thursday. Staying connected. Rich again in two weeks. Knowing and being known. Seeing and being seen. The human, the primate, way. Love in its many forms.

 

How about those classified files at the Bidens? Ooops. There goes a second term. So. Damned. Stupid. And right now? He’s overperformed. Rich and I agreed. Then stepped right on his well you know. And hard. Without necessity. Come on, man!

Takes the stage away from that lying George Santos. The Long Island prevaricator.

How bout those Bolsanorans? I mean. Guys. He fled the country. To Florida. On an A-1 visa reserved for heads of state. He left Brazil before he left office. Trump went to Florida, too. Lots of parallels, eh? Trump and his like are cancers in the body politic of many countries. As 1st graders used to say, He’s copying!

All for now.

 

 

 

 

Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Health, Judaism, Mussar

Salvage. Catastrophic.

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Winter and the Wolf Moon

Friday gratefuls: The Assistance Fund. Bridgette. Urology Associates. Bond and Devick. Rich. Muddy Buck. Cancer. Bureaucracy. Government and private. Kep the unsteady. Jon, a memory and a hurdle. David, his father. Shirley, his step-mother. Jen. Friends. The staff of life. Coming home to the Mountains. Curvy roads. Snow. Lodgpepole and Aspens. Black Mountain. Climbing Shadow Mountain on Shadow Mountain Drive. The pregnant Mule Deer Doe that crossed my path on the way to Evergreen this morning.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: the pregnant Mule Deer Doe, life in its wonder

 

Well. Somewhat better news. Still. So. I pay the full copays this month, around $3,000. That tips me over into catastrophic drug coverage. My portion goes to 5% or about $850 a month. Right now that’s the best deal I can get.

However. The Assistance Fund might pick me up again sometime during the year. If they do, they’ll backdate my account and repay me for all my expenses. Fingers crossed on this one. I’m on a long wait phone line right now to discover how my situation looks.

This is the problem with charity and philanthropy. Haven’t been on this end of it before. If things change or the funder decides on different priorities, no appeal, and as in this instance no notice. Just gone. We can’t count on the wealthiest among us to share our values or recognize our needs. That’s what government is for.

Erleada and Orgovyx. Salvage therapy. This charming term refers to all therapies given after the hope of a cure falls away. After the prostatectomy and the radiation failed to cure me, I landed in salvage land. In order to get my salvage therapy cost down I have to get into catastrophic coverage in my insurance plan.

Had to get an urgent cash infusion to cover the first month’s copay. Paying that should do the trick to put me in a drug cost catastrophe. If my position on the waitlist ends up getting funded, I’ll be made whole. No promises. No way of knowing. Just pay and wait.

Due to this problem I got kicked off McKesson Pharmaceutical’s account list. Result: Doc has to represcribe. Which means probably Monday at the earliest. Then a shipment has to get here. Good thing Urology Associates fronted me some samples. I should be able to cover the gap between the time all of this gets processed and a new shipment comes to my door.

 

Had a great breakfast with Rich this morning. He’s teaching a new course on applied philosophy and the Constitution at the School of Mines. Here’s a link to his syllabus. A smart guy. Obv. Also my lawyer. Estate planning and Jon’s probate.

We click intellectually and decided to meet more often. Maybe every two weeks.

Breakfast at the Muddy Buck in the tourist part of Evergreen. On our way out Rich greeted a guy he told me was a movie star from Evergreen. A former Seal who had a role in the movie Act of Valor. It might have been his story. I forget right now. A mammoth guy with lots of tattoos. and a Yeti t-shirt on.

 

Feelings, Health, Mussar

What? Anger.

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Winter and the Wolf Moon

Thursday gratefuls: The Ancient Brothers. Cancer. Co-pays. High anxiety. Workouts. Kep the unsteady. Oh, man. Fear. Box breathing. Numbness. Rock. Deer Creek Canyon. Its consolation. Kate’s holy Valley. Kate’s creek. Need her today. Big Pharma. Big problems. Shadow Mountain. The Hermitage. Herme. Jon, a memory. Ruth. Gabe, the Legomaniac. Northfield High.

Sparks of joy and awe: The Sun

Correction: Ruth’s school has allowed her to make up her work in the two classes I mentioned. Glad for that.

 

Big news today. Yikes! Just got off the phone with McKesson pharmacy. Source of Orgovyx and Erleada, my two prostate cancer drugs. The Assistance fund has exhausted its money for prostate cancer. Oh? Your co-pays are now $800 a month for the Orgovyx and $2,000 a month for the Erleada. What?! The. Hell.

Had a shipment supposed to arrive today. I have two Orgovyx left. A bit more Erleada. Maybe a week. McKesson has faxed my doc forms for me to be added to the pharmaceutical company’s assistance plan. In this instance then the company will dispense my drugs.

This causes me some anxiety. Managing it with box breathing. By calling my doc. By writing this. Still. Stunned. Unsure. Uncertain what will come.

So many cancer patients have the same trouble. Fighting a terminal disease and insurance and big pharma. There is something wrong with this at a root level. Can you help me? Yes. But it’s gonna cost you. What if I can’t pay? Well. Buh bye then.

Not surprised. Not really. That this has happened right now. Today. Yes. But that there would come a kink in the system. No. A sad commentary on the state of medicine in our wealthy, wealthy country. Wonder if Bezos or Musk could shoot me a check?

This will occupy my day until it’s sorted. If it can be.

 

Anger. MVP last night. Some thought anger comes from fear. We agreed it rises up. I admit I don’t understand emotions. How and why they come. But they sure do. My anxiety above has an obvious trigger. Glad I’ve spent a lot of time on how to cope with anxiety. Anger though?

Before I went to sleep I came up with this idea. Anger comes when something or someone assaults my values. Then. Thinking as an anthropologist. What adaptive advantage does anger hold? Might be like joking behavior. Who and what you laugh at can identify the cultures or subcultures to which you belong. If you’re a Swede, you might make Norwegian or Finnish jokes. If you’re a Northerner. Jokes about Southerners. Southerners. About Yankees. So on.

It could be the same with anger. Those things which make you angry can identify the culture or subculture to which you belong. If seeing the Confederate flag flown from a pickup truck bed makes you boil? Probably a liberal Northerner. Obama in the Whitehouse. Probably a white supremacist. If you believe your spouse has belittled you and you get angry? The underlying value is self-worth. A challenge to it.

If you took a community and recorded every instance of anger for a week, I think you could identify the various solidarity groups in the community with ease. Shared values = shared anger. And anger means those values have been belittled or scorned.

A passing thought.

Dogs, Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Garden, Great Wheel, Great Work, Health, Hermitage, Judaism, Memories, Minnesota, Mountains, Mussar, Plants, Politics, Shadow Mountain, The Move, Writing

Dutiful

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Winter and the Wolf Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Breakfast with Jen, Ruth, Gabe, Barb. Driving back up the hill. F1. The MIA. The Walker. The docent program. My many years there with good friends and art. Acting class. Creativity class. Origins of North America. Finding the volume of a Mountain. Korean. Pruning moving forward. Interior painting, early February. Probate. Still moving. slow. ly. The Good Life. Scott and Helen Nearing. Eudaimonia. Kristen Gonzalez. Psoriasis. Mark and the USPS. Mary in Kobe. Ancient Brothers.

Sparks of joy and awe: Eudaimonia

 

Human flourishing. Eudaimonia. Satisfaction. More important than happiness. Duty is just another word for cultural norms received and accepted. Obligations. On the other hand. Imposed. Why do we do what we do?

Assessing the life that is neither heroic nor mediocre. Since that’s where most of us end up. No need to measure ourselves against the ends of the bell curve. No need to measure ourselves. But can we be at peace with a life without comparisons?

As for me, I choose eudaimonia. Flourishing. Satisfaction. And, yes. Duty plays a role. Family. Sacrifice. Friends too. Being there. Wherever love is, there is duty. To be honest. Sincere. Kind. Helpful. To support the best for the other. Right down to the end. And by implication to support the best for yourself. Also, duty. The unexamined life is not worth living. Yes. A duty to yourself to know thyself. And to thy own known Self be true.

 

What’s interesting for me right now is how much a sense of duty has played in my life. Oh, no! The original oppositional defiant guy admitting to a sense of duty. I who even rebel against my superego. You can’t make me!!! Yes, duty.

A minor yet significant example. As a convinced feminist of the Betty Friedan/Simone de Beauvoir second wave. At the age of 26. In seminary. Went to the Rice Street Clinic late on a Winter afternoon. A scalpel I felt on the first cut slashed my vas deferens on both sides. Shutting down sperm from my testicles. Being responsible for my own contraception.

Another. One I’ve mentioned before. Fits here. No. I don’t want a Johns-Manville full scholarship to college. Managing people in a large corporation is not me. Will never be me. High school.

Once convinced of Vietnam’s sturdiness as a nation, one that had held back China for over 3,000 years. No. I will not fight, nor support that war.

After reading a convincing study about the future job prospects for Ph.D.’s. No to graduate school.

Family. Staying in the fire with Jon. Ruth. Gabe. Kate in later life. Mark. Yet also. Cut your hair or leave! Leaving.

These may not at first reading seem like duty. But they are. A duty to myself, to my own understanding of how to be present in the world.

When I realized Ruth and Gabe needed us in Colorado. Broaching the idea of a move. Kate on board. Following through.

Those two and a half acres in Andover. Leaving them better than when we bought them. How? Working it out with Kate over the years. Together. Staying the course with the full cycle of responsibilities throughout the year. Each year.

And, dogs. Living into their lives. With them from puppyhood to death. Oh. Sweet duty. Painful duty. Life realized in full.

Aging, Dogs, Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Health, Hermitage, Shadow Mountain

Like a book end

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Winter and the Wolf Moon

Wednesday gratefuls: Earth trivia. Perihelion today.* Also, happy birthday Isaac Newton! Who discovered calculus and wrote the Principia Mathematica. An alchemist, too. Kristen Gonzalez. My favorite doctor ever. Aside, of course, from Kate. Evergreen, my Mountain town. Low T. The Valley between Shadow Mountain and Hwy. 73. Mule Deer. Fog on Black Mountain yesterday. Korean. Rational, real, natural, and imaginary numbers. Geez. DNR. Yes. Approaching 76. Colonoscopies.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: A straight forward doctor, Kristen

 

Annual physical. Kristen. Kind and wise. Thorough. Practical. Do you have an Advance Directive? Yes. If we could put it in your chart. One more place for it. Are you DNR? Well, if I’m fragile and decrepit, yes. Like I am now? No. This is only for if you die. If we bring you back, we break ribs and you end up in the ICU on a ventilator. After that you are fragile and decrepit. This is not what I wanted you’ll be thinking. I advised my own parents the same way. Ah. I see. Well. DNR then. Straight, this Kristen.

Colonoscopy. When I had one last? Before I moved here. Well. You’re at the cutoff. Your choice. Can I think about it? Of course.

She referred me to a vascular specialist for my left foot which seems to have problematic blood flow.

Nothing new. But the conversation about death and the colonoscopy. If we think you’re going to live a long time, we’d stretch that to 85. The colonoscopy recommendation. Oh. Later. Huh. That means.

A new, more realistic sense of my life span. Though not changed in length. Just the inner awareness. I’m guessing now somewhere between 85 and 90. Which was Dad’s. He died at 89. Trick now is maintaining health span as long as possible. Which I’m doing by managing my prostate cancer, exercising, eating a healthier diet, staying calm, remaining in close contact with friends and family, having a dog. Most you can do. Which is enough. Need an emergency contact. Maybe Rich?

Interesting feeling. Like a book end. Yes, a date out there somewhere. Ten, fifteen years from now. Buh, bye. At first. Huh? A time sort of certain? That seems, oh I don’t know. So sudden? Yeah. So sudden it’s taken me 75 years to get to this point. Ha. Will welcome death when it comes. Until then, I welcome life and all its wonders. Including you, dear reader.

 

Will see Ruth on Saturday. Breakfast at Jen’s. The whole remaining gang. Jen, Ruth, Gabe, Barb. Barb is Jen’s mother. Talked to Ruth for only a moment but her voice was strong. Excited to be back  home. To start school. I’m excited to see her.

 

Kep has gone out and returned on his own since his stuckness the other day. I’m giving him intermittent reinforcement. Treats. When he comes back. That seems to have encouraged him to find his way home before he exhausts himself. Also warmer weather for a while reduced the Snow depth. I want the joy of wandering in the Snow for him.

 

Seeing Marilyn and Irv today for brunch at Aspen Perks. Always a pleasure. Looking forward to the chicken fried steak and eggs.

 

 

For 2023, our closest point to the sun comes this morning for us in North America (16 UTC  on January 4). It’s our annual perihelion, from the Greek roots peri meaning near and helios meaning sun. In early January, we’re about 3% closer to the sun – roughly 3 million miles (5 million km) – than we are during Earth’s aphelion (farthest point) in early July. That’s in contrast to our average distance of about 93 million miles (150 million km). Read about perihelion today.  earthskynews

Dogs, Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Health, Shadow Mountain, Weather +Climate

Ruth comes home

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Winter and the Wolf Moon

Tuesday gratefuls: Memories with Tom and the dogs. 8 years ago. 12 degrees. Dusting of Snow. Rabbit tracks on the driveway. Kep in the Snow. Ruth came home. 15 years of Solstice entries. (lost 3 years somehow) Lodgepoles with Hoarfrost. Aspen Branches coated, too. Fog. Kristen Gonzalez. My PCP. That Kringle. Eggs. Apples. Peanut butter. Yogurt. Blueberries. Blackberries. Raspberries. Sourdough bread. Ramen. Mother Earth’s bounty. Made into us, to me. Oatmeal.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Ruth at home

 

Got a call about 4:30 pm yesterday. Jen. Ruthie’s coming home. We had a family therapy session (on Zoom) that went well. Half an hour later they called. I said I couldn’t go get her. I have work tomorrow. They insisted. Also, I wanted to invite you to dinner some night. Would you like to come? Yes. Of course.

We’ll see how things go. Part of the logic in sending her home was the chaotic nature of the Cedar Springs Hospital unit she was on. Back to a calmer, more stable environment. Made me wonder though about the therapeutic nature of such a place. Though. Ruth says she got what she needed. And more. May it be so.

She will go back to school starting tomorrow. Holiday break is over and she’ll start her second semester as a junior at Northfield High. A Denver STEM school. Unlike her she failed two classes last semester. One in which a teacher refused to let her make up work in the weeks after Jon’s death and during her hospitalization. Jerk. Another in which she didn’t turn in assignments. Doesn’t seem right to me.

She and Gabe both had a very tough fall semester. Jon’s death. The transition to living full time at one parent’s place. Ruthie’s own struggles with mental health before she left for Cedar Springs. Yet another example of the Cartesian split. If the body is sick, say Ruth had had cancer, the school would have accommodated her. But when the mind is sick, what do we do?

 

The Hoarfrost on the Lodgepoles make them look like sage elders, gray bearded and wise. Ephemera. It will not survive the warming Sun. The Aspen Branches look arthritic, curled up and accented by the Rime. I can see the dawn Light striking a few Trees. Gray white branches, red Lodgepole Bark, and the glow of the Sun. A beautiful moment on Shadow Mountain.

 

Kep. The fourteen inches of Snow has created trouble for him. He goes out, often breaking trail the whole time because he can not see where he’s been. His back legs tire out. So he sits. When he’s not exhausted, he finds his way back. Not sure  how, but he does.

Exhaustion makes him frustrated and he sits, then strikes off in a new direction. Maybe toward the house. Maybe away from it.

Yesterday I had to go out and attempt to lead him back. I say attempt because he’s an Akita. And has chosen those moments to become very stubborn. Glad I had those forty years in Minnesota. The cold was not an issue. It took a while but between spurts with a leash on. He pulled it off. Then my hand on his collar. He found the house and walked along it to the back door. His back legs quivered when he got inside.

He did recover quickly however. I may have to put him on a lead when I let him out. I don’t want to because he loves the Snow and wandering around in it. Still…

 

 

Dogs, Health, Hermitage, Jefferson County, Mountains, Shadow Mountain, Sport, Weather +Climate, Writing

Snow

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Winter and the Wolf Moon

Thursday gratefuls: Snow. A lot of it. Maybe 10 inches? (measured with a broom stick and a tape measure: 14 inches) Snowed hard from about 3:30 yesterday well into the night. Fire in the fireplace with Gabe last night. Gabe and Kep. An awakening interest, renewed interest in sports. Omicron booster. Ready to eat beef tips and mashed potatoes. The Lodgepole Branches bowed by Snow. Hygge. Mini-splits putting out climate friendly heat. Power outage. Generator on during the night. A full refrigerator.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Snow.

 

Good to wake up to a big Snow. The clocks were all blinking. A power shut off in the night. Generator took care of it. Off now. No breakfast with Alan. Too soon. The silence of Shadow Mountain, always deep, becomes profound after a big Snow. All that sound buffering. Each home feels like an Island in the midst of a Snow Ocean. A beautiful part of living up here.

Vince has covid, but he’s got a backup guy that will plow me out before 5 pm. I take Gabe back at 6 pm. By that time Colorado will have worked its magic and the roads should be at least driveable if not clear.

Think of the Bears in their shelters. The Mule Deer sleeping together. The Elk, too. Foraging will be tough for them today. Maybe they’ll sleep all day. Foxes in their dens. Marmosets and Pine Martens. Mountain Lions take a Snow day? Lynx and Bobcats, too. I don’t really know what any of them do in the Snow. Would be interesting to find out.

Of course, more to the economic point Snow = $$$$. All the ski resorts love this coming ahead of the New Year’s weekend. Irony. Big Snows bring allure to Vail, Aspen, Steamboat, Breckenridge, A-Basin, Loveland. And. The havoc they play with traffic on I-70 the major land based route to get to them.

As for those of us who don’t ski. Well. We hike, snowshoe, or put logs in the fireplace and enjoy the view.

 

Chewy has failed me. Again. Or, rather, Fedex has failed both Chewy and me. I have one cup of Kep’s dogfood left. The order from Chewy had Sunday as its ETA. Now it’s Thursday with deep Snow. No Fedex delivery. I have canned dogfood and a supply of kibble  that was not the best for Kep’s gut. I can make it. Chewy has been regular. Order. Three days later. Dogfood. The brand I want that’s not available anywhere nearby. Venture. Over the last couple of months though. Not so much.

 

Solid workout yesterday. Back up to two sets of resistance work. Want to get back to three. I’ve let sarcopenia weaken me and I don’t like it. I could never do the fire mitigation I did when we got here. My cardiovascular fitness is excellent, but my stamina sucks. I suspect sarcopenia and Erleada. Gonna talk with my PCP about that at my physical next week.

 

Working most days on How To Become A Pagan. Hard for me to say how it’s going. I’m writing 500-600 words at a whack. Getting content down. The broad organizational scheme of the Great Wheel holidays seems to work. At least right now. Trying to be as heartfelt as I can be.