Samain and the Summer’s End Moon (a very faint waning crescent)
Wednesday gratefuls: Tom. His path. Shirley Waste. Joanne. Working out. Great Sol illuminates us all. Shadow, who goes outside when I’m done talking on Zoom. This strange trip we’re on. Ripple. Sugaree. The Weight. Ain’t No Grave. The Night They Drove Ol’ Dixie Down. Tambourin Man. Don’t You Need Somebody to Love. That teeny Mule Deer not quite a fawn anymore.
Sparks of Joy and Awe: Morgan, rock climber and orthotist
Life Kavannah: Wu Wei Shadow, my Wu Wei mistress
Week Kavannah: Hakarat Hakov Gratitude. “Who is rich? Those who rejoice in their portion.” Perkei Avot 4:1
Tarot: Being a metaPhysician
One brief shining: Still in the dark, I picked up the white plastic trash bags filled with two weeks of refuse, some garbage, some recyclable, opened my kitchen window which begins about a foot and a half off the floor, tossed the bags in their respective bins, opened the front door, and went out to pull them with a sound like muffled thunder to the edge of my driveway where Seoah and I went as the last ritual of Kate’s shiva.
Tuesday, Tuesday. Drove down the hill into Denver near Denver Health to the Evergreen Orthotics office where I once again discussed braces for my wobbly, sagging head. Morgan, my orthotist, a fit young woman in her late twenties, early thirties with an engaging smile and warm persona showed me the possible braces. Both soft, one identical to one I purchased on Amazon, another larger.
I told her about my problem standing and talking with people taller than I am. At 5’5″ that’s a lot of people. She said, “This is sort of
a joke, but you could get belay glasses.” She’s a climber and explained the principle. Belay glasses have a prism that lets you see your climbing partner without straining your neck back.
So I could have my soft neck brace on, then in a social setting I could flip my belay glasses on my readers when encountering a taller human. That wouldn’t be weird at all.
There’s a transition here, similar to getting my handicap placard, where I have to publicly acknowledge my troubles with assistive devices. I don’t like it. Yet most old folks wear both glasses and hearing aids…assistive devices. So. Transist me up, Scotty.
Inadequate solutions at best, yet better than having the charming medically described head drop.
Turned around and drove back toward Golden. Panorama Orthopedics. Saw Abby who numbed my hip and jabbed a needle through my skin. Steroids again.
“So,” I asked, “if the injections don’t work and you can’t do surgery, where does that leave me?”
She shrugged a bit, a slight tilt to her head, “Well, then we’re between a rock and a hard place.” Which made me think of Morgan.
Oh, I also thought. Whaddya’ mean we whiteman? It’s me that’s stuck. That bridge we all agree we’ll encounter later. You know, when we come to it.
Left there and drove forty-five minutes back home. A lot of pain setting in as I headed up into the Mountains, willing myself back home, driving sometimes with gritted teeth. Too much for one day.