Melancholia

Imbolc                                                         Woodpecker Moon

In what is, I suppose, a good sign, I’m getting fed up with this latest round of melancholy.  As I tried to do my Latin today, my ability to focus just wasn’t there.  The holding of one idea in my head while tracking down another seemed too hard.   I shook my head–ridding it of the annoyance I felt–and went upstairs for lunch.

I have begun a look back and now find that my melancholic episodes probably started in high school and have continued, largely unnoticed, until now.  I say unnoticed because they were usually not incapacitating, though in one instance around 1975 I can recall sitting in a chair for days on end, unable to stop unraveling the patterns in the wallpaper.

I believe I have experienced them as periods of slowing, waning interest or perhaps an unusual run of irritability, but not as episodes cycling through my life, a constant dysthymic hum, sometimes in the background and other times dominant, changing the course of things in my day to day world.

Of course, these cycles interlaced with my drinking, my failed marriages, my occasional angry outbursts.  Perhaps they only reinforced these troubled times or, perhaps, they created some of them.  I don’t know.

If this is right, and I’m pretty sure it is, it also means that I dealt with the death of my mother in 1964 influenced by these cycles.  It is my belief now that the charged, dark feelings of that difficult time still come along for the ride, packed in a baggage car as the melancholy train pulls into the station.

These complicated threads make these cyclic turns difficult to sort out, place in perspective.  It also makes them difficult, as a direct result, to get any particular treatment for.

Anyhow, out there, tomorrow or maybe the next day or if not then soon, the heaviness will lift and I’ll be able to get back to the incredible lightness of being.

Bee Diary 2012

Imbolc                                                Woodpecker Moon

To appreciate the irony here we have to go back to last year.  I decided to change bee management practice.  One colony would be held to over winter, not expecting much because of illness related losses the last two winters.  The other two colonies would die out and I would get two new packages of bees in April.

If the parent colony survived, I would divide it per the U’s method and let the parent colony make honey this year and die out with the two new packages.

When I went out today, just a casual check since this is too early for the bees (I thought), I was surprised to see bees flying in and out with vigor from two colonies, the parent and one I’d left to die.  There were also bees flying into the third colony.  Now, I haven’t opened the colonies up so I don’t know what kind of recovery we’re looking at here, but I could have five colonies where I expected two.

Crazy weather.

The Argument Culture

Imbolc                                            Woodpecker Moon

Deborah Tannen was on NPR yesterday.  She has a new book out called The Argument Culture.  I listened to most of her presentation as I did my rounds to pick up the sub-woofer and learn more about the Great Scanning Project.  I just bought the book.

She made me stop and examine my own complicity in this culture.  Too often, she said, we escalate our arguments with war metaphors or dualistic thinking, seeing only one side of an argument or, at best, two sides when, in fact, some arguments only have one side and most have many.

As an example of an argument with only side, she cited the rage of holocaust denial that surfaced in the US a decade or so ago.  It happened, in large part, she said, because we believe every argument has two-sides and needs balance.  Especially journalists hold this view.  In this case established history leaves no room for doubt, no room for deniers, so there is, in fact, only side to this question.  The reality of the holocaust.  It distorts the reality of holocaust to have it “balanced” by the views of those who deny it happened.

Another example of an argument with only side, she said, is climate change.  I cheered here.  When 98% of scientists agree and the 2% are on the fringe, there is no argument to be had.

Here’s my admitted complicity.  When I enter the argumentative space, I set out to win.  Not to listen.  Not to consider the other point of view, but to beat it down, defeat it, send it limping, head-hung out of the arena.   Continue reading The Argument Culture

Apocalypse Later

Imbolc                                          Woodpecker Moon

And if all that business about time wasn’t enough, Scientific American sticks its nose in the apocaplypse business:

NASA Crushes 2012 Mayan Apocalypse Claims

The agency’s Near-Earth Objects Program head points out many fallacies, including the claim that an imaginary planet will collide with Earth in December. Thousands of astronomers have not seen this

Timely

Imbolc                                               Woodpecker Moon

In case you feel confident, assured, certain about your worldview, I invite you to read the current Scientific American special issue on Time.

 

You know all those hard working physicists whose thought power smells like burning transistors in your really fast computer?  Yeah.  Those guys.  Einstein.  Feynman.  Hawking.  Turns out they can’t find time.  Nope.  Not there.

 

Turns Xeno and that arrow business was right.  You know, you shoot an arrow and it covers half the distance to the target, then half that distance, and then half that distance and so on?  Ad infinitum. Yep.  That’s right.  Stuff happens.

Time has fascinated me for, well, a long time.  Or not.  Western folks, you and me, got stuck on chronos, or linear time, while the pagans and many Asians stayed with cyclical time.  Like the Great Wheel.  Both, according to current thinking, are conventions we use to order our sensory experience.

I haven’t seen in these pages yet a response to Kant’s idea that both time and space are a priori categories, that is, they are part of the way the mind functions and are, as a result, prior to experience, not inherent in experience.  Still makes sense to me.

This may seem like a so-what problem since we already think we know how time works.  Now is now and will be past in a moment when the now now becomes what was future reality only a moment ago.  Yet it turns out that time stands between quantum mechanics and the theories of relativity, frustrating their unification.  Time is relative in Einstein’s constructs and probabilistic in quantum mechanics.  Trust me.  It’s a big deal.

Well, that’s all for this time.

OMG

Imbolc                                                   Woodpecker Moon

10:00 PM.  March 16th.  The day before St. Patrick’s Day.  St. Patrick’s eve.  That’s 10:00 PM.  AND IT IS 70 DEGREES OUT!

The Great Scanning Project

Imbolc                                                      Woodpecker Moon

A long ambit today, over to Highway 169 to Crystal, pick up the subwoofer, all fixed now, then thru Crystal and into Robbinsdale on Hennepin 9.  These are both older burbs with businesses along this highway that look of late 40’s, early 50’s vintage.  Some brick, none uniform as is the rage today.  Small businesses like Dan’s, a few clinics,  some gas stations.

Then onto 100 South to 394 and into Minneapolis.  At the museum I wandered through our various American collections, finding objects related to the diverse history of North America, especially the non-European part of that history.  There’s an interesting range of stuff, especially when the view is Civil War backwards.  We have several pieces from the 11th and 12th centuries, one, an atlatl that is even older.

After that we had our meeting on the Great Scanning Project.  The meeting was interminable due to lack of organization.  Sigh.  But we finished and I went back to look at some other American pieces.  I just remembered as I wrote this that there is the George W. portrait and the Charleston room and the Paul Revere silver, too.

Back home.

Another Beautiful Day. Bah.

Imbolc                                                Woodpecker Moon

Another beautiful day. Yes.  But.  What dark forces work to push the boundaries of weather around like so many children’s blocks, a lego castle on wheels rolling north, careening over everything in its wake?  As I hope I’ve said here before, efforts to control global warming are NOT about saving the planet.  The planet will keep on whirling around the sun as long as gravity and spacetime remain.  Well, not quite, there is that whole red giant business, but it’s a really long time from now.

No, good ol’ h. sapiens will catch the fever.*  Of course, those with an eye to irony or just desserts might not see this a totally uncalled for solution; but, hell, I love our funny two-legged species, roaming around making babies, art, war, sport, roombas, nailguns and rainbow ponies.  What will the universe do for a laugh when we’re gone?

Fans of schadenfreude will rejoice.  Though whether one can be very schadenfreudie when you’re baking along with the ones responsible for delaying action, I don’t really know.

So, as a paid up member of the northern European gene pool, I’m tellin’ you it’s no wonder I’m melancholy.  The world is going to hell in a Hummer, not a handbasket.

 

*Scientific American

LONDON (Reuters) – Global greenhouse gas emissions could rise 50 percent by 2050 without more ambitious climate policies, as fossil fuels continue to dominate the energy mix, the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) said on Thursday.

“Unless the global energy mix changes, fossil fuels will supply about 85 percent of energy demand in 2050, implying a 50 percent increase in greenhouse gas emissions and worsening urban air pollution,” the OECD said in its environment outlook to 2050.

The global economy in 2050 will be four times larger than today and the world will use around 80 percent more energy.

But the global energy mix is not predicted to be very different from that of today, the report said

Tours today

Imbolc                                            Woodpecker Moon

Two tours.  First one, so-so with folks wandering around, but a keen observer in an art teacher.  Second one, very fun with three kids and a dad.  We did a circuit of famous photographs.  They had a great time.  This show is so different depending on the audience.

Tired.  Little sleep last night.

An Unlikely Flag Waver

Imbolc                                                      Woodpecker Moon

I remain unmoved by the current Presidential race.  The fracas swirls somewhere below the level of America’s current malaise.  No one, Obama included, looks like they have a clue.

There’s an old phrase I learned long ago:  how you define is how you solve.  That seems to be the problem.  How do you define the American weltanschung?  How do you define the root causes of our (apparent) decline?

Let me take a side trip while we consider those questions.  There have been two prominent books on child rearing of late:  Tiger Mother and Bringing Up Bebe.  One extols what the author defines as the Chinese way and the other, the French way.  These are seen as antidotes to the current state of child rearing practices here.

(Rearing children is a funny thing.  On the one hand my pediatrician wife thinks there should be a license exam before people get to be parents.  Plenty of evidence to support such a notion.  On the other hand there was my basic attitude to child rearing:  billions, literally billions of children, have been reared by people who had no formal knowledge of child rearing.  And the vast bulk of those kids survived into adulthood, so I figured I could do it.)

So, I’m waiting for the American Way.  You know, the book about raising an American child. Why?  Because we have an acknowledged knack for raising innovators, creators, scholars.  And you know what?  We got that reputation using the clunky, clanky old education system we had, even the one we had back in the long ago day when I was a student.

What I’m trying to say here is that we know how to do stuff.  Important stuff.  In our child rearing, in our educational system, in our economic system, in our political system.  In our military, too, for that matter.  We’re not world beaters at everything, no nation ever was, nor will ever be.

It is ironic in the extreme that this latter day radical critic of Amerika and our war in Vietnam would take up the banner of his country, wave the flag, not necessarily of our government, but the flag that represents this real place.  A place where we argue about immigration all the while we take in many, many immigrants.  A place where we argue about the failings of our education system while continuing to crank out the Zuckerburgs, Gates, Jobs types.  The David Wallace, Jonathan Franzen and Christopher Hitchens types. 333 Nobel laureates including:

  1. Christopher A. Sims, Economics, 2011
  2. Thomas J. Sargent, Economics, 2011
  3. Saul Perlmutter, Physics, 2011
  4. Brian P. Schmidt, Physics, 2011
  5. Adam G. Riess, Physics, 2011
  6. Ralph M. Steinmanborn in Canada, Physiology or Medicine, 2011
  7. Bruce Beutler, Physiology or Medicine, 2011

The modern feminist movement had its European roots, of course, but look at what Betty Freidan and Gloria Steinham and that whole movement of women accomplished.

Consider the global impact of the US work of Martin Luther King.

Consider this, too.  All the people I’ve named here lived or are living during my lifetime.

Chuck Close, Siha Armajani, Mark Rothko (immigrant), Albert Einstein (immigrant), Morris Lewis, Andy Warhol, Claus Oldenberg, Robert Indiana.  You add the names that are meaningful to you.

Not to mention athletics.

I mean, come on, for a nation in decline, for an American psyche in freefall, we seem to be doing ok.  Not perfect, not our best, not all we could hope for*, (see the cartoon) but ok.

So, to get back to how you define is how you solve, I would ask this question.  Let’s look at those things that produced all these positive, good, extraordinary people and their life work.  Then, let’s do more of that.

Maybe it’s as simple as writing a book on how to raise an American kid.

*my sense is that we could move the whole public policy/state of the nation debate forward if we would analyze our country in terms of class, first.  That’s the point of the cartoon and I agree with it.  We are failing the working class, would-be middle class.  Badly.