Daily Archives: April 25, 2013

Feelings, Friends, Health

In the Company of Old Men

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Spring                                                                            Planting Moon

A full moon tonight.  And good cards.  Fortuna walked with me throughout the evening, giving me winning hands including one lay down.

Ed, a regular, came in tonight and said he’d made driving mistakes twice, once on his way to his house and once on his way back and wasn’t sure he would make it through the evening.  He did, but I thought it was brave of him to acknowledge his anxiety, sharing it rather than fussing about it the whole evening.

Dick’s PSA, after 37 radiation treatments, is 0.0.  A good report at the same time his wife, on a recheck for a nodule on her thyroid, was told it was no longer there.  A good day all round.

(trump in sheepshead)

Bill continues to walk straight in his life after Regina’s death, acknowledging her absence and the profound effect it has had on his life, yet he reports gratitude as his constant companion.  He waits for a clear signal as to what comes next in this changed life situation.  He says, like Ram Dass, Still Here.

Weather +Climate

A Return to Regular Programming

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Spring                                                                           Planting Moon

According to my weather station, we stand at 49 degrees.  And this time there seem to be no winter storms with plowable and shovelable snow wrecking their way through Nebraska on their way here.

Nope.  Now it’s tornadic super-cells, derechos and life altering hail.  Like I always say, I’m glad I don’t live on the coast or near an earthquake fault or volcano.  Those people must be nuts.

Kate’s home, taking a nap.  I took mine in the chair well before lunch.  We will now return to our normal programming.

Aging, Health, Third Phase

Ah. He said.

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Spring                                                                       Planting Moon

I apologize for the long series of posts on my back and my shoulder and my angst.  In part they come because this blog has replaced my long habit of keeping written journals, so you get what happens, if you’re a reader here.

In part they come because they track my progress (regress?  slide?  decline?) into the later years when the body repairs itself less quickly.  In part they come, mostly they come, because they are what is foremost to me at the moment.

Still, I know such posts can turn off readers who also suffer from their aches and pains, their own flurries of difficult to handle matters, their own angst.  All I can say is that this an ancientrail, too, one followed by so many, most, maybe, probably by all.  So it is not about me I write, but us inflected at the moment by an Oklahoma born, Indiana raised, Minnesota preferred man and his 66 year old body.

Though my back feels somewhat better I am now weary, tired from the last week plus, probably allowing myself to be tired because Kate’s on her way home.  Now I will be able to  focus on recovering, not recovering, reinjuring and managing.  Looking forward to it.

Family

Kate

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Spring                                                                       Planting Moon

Got onion sets in the mail yesterday.  Planting will be in order over the next few days, at least the cold weather crops.  Glad Kate will be here to help.  It will go faster.

On missing my partner.  I had one day of sudden in a funk blues shortly after Kate left and one conversation with her turned my spirits around.  Then, until my back began to assert its anger at my abusing it, I got into rhythms with the dogs, my work, some projects around the house.  Even then, I was ok, fine with handling matters as they came up.

After Kona started her downhill slide Sunday morning until yesterday afternoon when I got back from the eye doctor though, I was pressing on, coping.  I missed her then, a lot.  Of course, in general, I miss my life partner and soul mate when she’s gone.  I also enjoy the time alone, to a certain point, but when the pain increased and the amount of things going on also increased and the snow fell.  Well.  I would have been very happy to have her here.

These last matters were unexpected and somewhat over the top, increasing my desire for Kate’s valuable insight into medical phenomena, yes, but also into me.   Could I have handled them on my own?  Yes.  I did.  Did I handle them as well as I could?  Hell, I don’t know.

She chose a long time with the grandkids, whom she loves, which they need and which I totally support.  I’m glad she went, glad she went this time and glad she stayed as long as she did.  I’m also glad she got to see the International Quilters Museum.

I’m also glad she’s turned the corner to the left and got headed in my favorite direction:  north.