Narrow, Dude

Fall                                                                                Hunter Moon

total_knee_replacement_components_modelNew x-ray of my left knee. “See that narrow space there?” Dr. William Peace points at a place where bone and bone have come very close together on the inside of the knee. “That’s about a 90% loss of cartilage. And that is a bone spur.” Pointing higher on the bone.

Indication. Total knee replacement. I said yes, let’s fix it. He said his scheduler would call. She called. They can get me in as soon as January! Oh, well.

It was oddly relieving to see the x-ray. I knew the pain was real, but there’s always a doubt. Maybe I’m experiencing pain that’s severe for me, but wouldn’t be severe for someone tougher. Nope. It’s my knee and its disappearing cartilage.

So I’m on a cancellation list and on a “If Dr. Peace opens up more days for surgery.” list. Not sure what to do about exercise. Step up the meds I guess. More CBD. More tylenol. Ice. Braces. Do, in other words, what I’ve been doing.

Guess us baby boomers are creaking our way toward the finish line in greater numbers. A good time to be an orthopedic surgeon.

BTW: Right next to Panorama Orthopedics in Golden is an Earth Trek climbing center. Kate thought these two were located well for each other. On leaving we also noticed about two blocks down the hill a business with the sign, Colorado Pain. First, the climbing wall. Then, the surgeon. Afterward, Colorado Pain.

Do You Know Any Stars?

Fall                                                                             Hunter Moon

orion_head_to_toe-www-deepskycolors-comLooked at Orion on the way up here this morning. He warms my heart like a familiar friend, a friend who comes for the season. I have greeted his return each autumn for 48 years. We first became acquainted during the 11-7 shift at Magnetic Cookware in Muncie, Indiana. I worked there as a security guard. When I see him in the southern sky, I smile.

Hokusai, the great Japanese ukiyo-e printmaker, followed the Northstar sect of Buddhism. In one sense we obviously project our sensibilities on these celestial objects. That’s clear when we look at the different names various cultures have given to the same identifiable stars or constellations.

In another sense, and more important to me, we see the Drinking Gourd, or the Big Dipper, or the Great Bear, or Orion as distant reminders of the changing seasons here on earth and we use them as sailors and caravans in the Rub al Khali, as farmers and hunters have used them, as guides. They are not, therefore, far away from us in the collaborative sense. The vast distances that separate us from these solar engines are irrelevant to their purpose as way finders and markers of seasonal transitions.

northstarNo wonder, in a world lit only by fire, that the stars were the work of gods. We might think we know them better now, now that we can identify their chemistry, understand their age and locate them in a 3-D universe, but that’s only a material, physical way of knowing. Important in its way, yes. Perhaps even key to the future of human existence. Still, very different from that night beacon lighting the way to freedom for escaping slaves. And, very different from Orion as my friend and companion for 48 autumns and winters.

In these latter uses the stars are important parts of our life right here on this planet, giving us direction and even emotional sustenance, clueing us to the coming of spring or the dog days of summer or the fall harvest.

As the squat Welshman asked me at St. Winifred’s Holy Well in Holywell, “Do you know any stars?”

photo credit: Orion Head to Toe, by Rogelio Bernal Andreo, creative commons license at Orion

Middot

Fall                                                                       Hunter Moon

Snow. An inch or two falling right now. Wet, heavy. A reminder that the season has changed, is changing. Warm days ahead yet, so the solar snow shovel should take care of this round.

insaneclownposse_sgpod_djp_yw_colSpeaking of seasons, this is not the silly season; it’s the Insane Clown Posse season. When a reactionary like Mike Pence gets kudos for a stable debate performance, the world has gone seriously out of whack. This is a guy who tried to abrogate the first amendment, destroy unions, and denigrates women. The only reason he looked less than totally unappealing is the comparison to his running mate, Donald the Hair Trump. OK, Kaine wasn’t much better, but, hey, these guys were picked as Vice-Presidential candidates for a reason. Whatever it was.

The bathroom is now complete. Yowza.

tikkun-middot-by-month-9-3Yesterday was a reading day, getting up to speed on the middot (character trait) of watchfulness. The notion of Mussar is to take character traits like watchfulness, explicate them, then practice them. Literally. Mussar encourages taking a character trait like watchfulness, then working over the period of a month to manifest it in your life or raise your observance of it to a higher level. Watchfulness entails what a Jesuit might call examen. Paying attention to your behavior, becoming conscious of it rather than letting it flow by out of habit unnoticed, that’s the first part.

The second part is evaluating that behavior as either of an outward oriented nature, yetzer tov, or of a self-ish nature, yetzer hara, inclination. This is a continuous process, a scrutiny that critiques actions. In fact, Mussar encourages this kind of self-examination at a regular time each day, too, partly, I think, to consolidate learning.

Watchfulness does not quite equate to mindfulness thought they’re definitely related ideas. Mindfulness has less of an orientation toward self-knowledge. So the middot for this month is watchfulness.

 

 

 

Taking a Knee

Fall                                                                      Hunter Moon

total-knee-replacement-surgery-methodsSaw my doc yesterday about my knee. She gave me a referral to Dr. William Peace, an orthopedic surgeon. I called him and got an appointment for this Friday. Kate and I watched a video about knee replacement. It was helpful. Somewhat. The biggest new information I got was that the new knee lasts about 15 years. I figure I’m in a lighter use period of my life so I could get a full 15.

Why do it? Well, the arthritis has negatively impacted my workouts, making them painful. I find hiking with the grandkids something I can do, but the price I pay afterwards is high. Also, I’ve started to make decisions based on my knee. As I mentioned here last week, I drove to Minnesota because I didn’t want to have to deal with all the standing and torquing of my knee during air travel. Also, without the cbds and thc at night I’m sure I wouldn’t be sleeping well. The pain is worse at night. So, it makes sense to me to go ahead.

After taking Kate’s glasses to a shop for nose pads, we ate at a chain called Black Eyed Peas, a southern comfort food place. They didn’t have collard greens, which should be illegal for a southern restaurant. The food was mediocre. Not terrible. Just unimpressive. So now we know.

When we got home, we took a long nap and both declared ourselves with little ambition for the rest of the day. And proved it.

The sliding glass door is up in the new bathroom. The only thing left is staining the trim. The bathroom is fully functional now and looking great. Kate made great choices in slate, pebbles, fixtures, paint color.

The divorce stumbles along with plenty of acrimony and orneriness. November 26th is final orders. That should smooth things out somewhat.

A Busy Few Days

Fall  (High Holy Days)                                                                            Hunter Moon

rosh-hashanahYesterday included three separate trips into Evergreen. First, I took Kate in for the morning Rosh Hashanah service at Beth Evergreen. Then, I came back to answer questions, be available for the electrician and the painter. At noon I went back to pick up Kate and eat the after service lunch with her. All these trips included waits in two spots on Brook Forest Road for culvert repair. Stop. Slow. Stop. Slow.

It was a glorious Colorado day with brilliant blue punctuated by puffy white, a soft wind, then a brisk wind blowing and temperatures in the mid to high sixties. Low humidity.

The service, as services often do, ran 20 minutes over so I sat on a concrete patio outside of Beth Evergreen’s event hall. The brisk wind stripped pine needles from the huge ponderosa’s on the hillside sending flotillas of the connected two needle bunches at me. Round top tables set outside on the patio had rocks on their table cloths. A table near where I sat blew over; the tablecloth, I think, acting as a sail.

my-familys-noodle-kugel1There were kugels in aluminum pans, bagels with lox and cream cheese or chopped egg, fresh cut vegetables, fruit. Paper plates and plastic forks. Lots of eating and greeting. Some very short skirts. Some men carried small cloth pouches containing prayer shawls and yarmulkes. Kids ran around,

teenagers laughed knowingly to each other. The wind continued to blow.

Back home we napped while Caesar finished painting. The big thing unfinished is installation of the shower door. That will probably happen today. The result is even more pleasing than I imagined it would be.

Where the Books Go
Where the Books Go

The third trip into Evergreen was for the Evergreen Writer’s Group at Where the Books Go. Writing groups are fragile things, easy to get wrong. They focus on critiquing work, the very work you’ve been laboring over in private for hours, days, sometimes weeks and years. The internal stakes are high, no matter the outward stance individuals take.

If one of Kate’s sewing groups was similar, the women would bring in their current project and ask others what they thought. How are the seams? What about color choice? The fabric. Their intention for the work and whether they seemed to be achieving it. Most important, the event would not be collaborative as these groups are, but critical.

There might be something to learn here. Perhaps the writing group could be more collaborative, be more a place where we could write together, work on current projects or doing writing exercises together.

Anyhow this trip to Evergreen was without the stop. slow. stop. slow bit because the Jeffco work crews had shut down the skip-loaders, dump trucks and road graders and gone home.

Kate went with me, dropping me off at the meeting and going on to the Lariat Lodge where we ate a couple of weeks ago. She managed to get most of the reading done for our Mussar group, four chapters worth! She also bought supper for me.

With the grandkids coming last Friday night and leaving at 2 pm on Sunday, then erev Rosh Hashanah that night, and the three trips into Evergreen yesterday, it’s been a very busy few days for us. And, we’re not done yet.

This morning I’m seeing Lisa Gidday, our internist, to discuss knee replacement. We’ll also get our flu shots. The week calms down some after this.

 

Shana Tova

Fall                                                                                 Hunter Moon

arthur_szyk_1894-1951-_the_holiday_series_rosh_hashanah_1948_new_canaan_ct
arthur_szyk_1894-1951-_the_holiday_series_rosh_hashanah_1948_new_canaan_ct

The winds howled from Mt. Evans early this morning, signals of a sudden change in the weather. We’re cooling down. The winds blow finished gold leaves into the air, creating bright spots of light fluttering in the shadows of the lodgepole pines. This is the time of that not-so-gentle stripping of the deciduous tree’s leaves. Up here that means the aspens will soon be leafless and slowing down like the calorie gorging bears. Winter, as they say on HBO, is coming.

The sliver moon that rose last night marked the beginning of ten days of High Holy Days for Jews across the world. Today is Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. Shana tova! Happy new year in Hebrew.

Kate, Jon and I went to the service at Beth Evergreen last night. It was a joyful event with lots of singing punctuated by readings from the prayerbook. Occasionally certain men would bow. Others had prayer shawls, many wore yarmulkes, many (including me) did not. It was not fancy dress, though some were dressed up, including me.

rosh-hashanah

The service commemorates the creation of the world and a Jewish belief that God must continuously recreate the world. This opens up the possibility of a truly new world being formed at the new year just as it opens up the possibility of a truly new you. So, this is a moment of celebrating the coming of the new year, 5777, and the opportunity to shed last year’s skin and to redecorate.

In this case I reinterpret God as the creative principle in the world, along the lines of process metaphysics, a notion made popular by Alfred North Whitehead. If we lean into that creative principle, we can reshape ourselves and our environment. The actual execution of such changes are made much easier by life in community, especially a beloved community. That’s the potential power of a congregation.

Having all this come while the sky is bright blue, while the aspens are showing what they’ve done with their one wild and precious life, while the crispness of autumn begins to change the nights, makes the Great Wheel and the cycle of the Jewish calendar sync up.

 

 

For All Those (former) Hoosiers Who Read This

Fall                                                                           Hunter Moon (Erev Rosh Hashanah)

ACTUAL OBITUARY FROM TODAY’S ANDERSON (IN) HERALD-BULLETIN 10/1/2016
Steven Lee Smock, 33, of Anderson, passed away on Thursday, Sept. 29, 2016,
the next-to-last sentence read as
In lieu of flowers, “don’t vote for Hillary Clinton”.
I couldn’t make this up if I tried

Soul Renewal

Fall                                                                            New (Hunter) Moon

medieval-hades-and-persephone
medieval-hades-and-persephone

Last night was a black moon, defined as the second new moon in a month. This is relatively rare, the last one occurring on March 30, 2014 and the next one on August 30, 2019. (earthsky news) This black moon precedes the rising, tomorrow night, of a sickle moon that will mark the start of the Jewish New Year on Rosh Hashanah. It’s also the beginning of the Muslim New Year.

Autumn is upon us now. Cooler nights. The possibility of snow next week. The Chinese, again according to earthsky news, say weeping is the sound of autumn, a part of its essential sadness. Not something to be avoided, but embraced, a regular part of the Great Wheel as it turns and turns again. My own response to this season used to be so pronounced that Kate and I had a phrase for her to say, “You seem to be slipping into melancholy.” That way I would know that my inner atmosphere had begun to mirror the outer, gray clouds and a wet chill had crept into my bones.

michaelmas_175This conforms to Michaelmas as the springtime of the soul. Sadness is a way we consolidate past experiences and sort them out, learning from them and choosing which aspects of the past to embrace and which to let go. When our tears are over, we are cleansed and renewed, ready for the next phase of life. Autumn gives us an annual opportunity for self-renewal. This Great Wheel, natural cycle phenomena matches up exactly with Rosh Hashanah and its climax, Yom Kippur.

This is the time of soul renewal. And I’m ready for it. Bring on the gray skies, the inner turn. My favorite time of the year.