Mabon                                                                                   Elk Rut Moon

More testing of the new hearing aid. We went out last night to Brook Forest Inn, the closest eating place to our house, about 2 miles toward Evergreen on Black Mountain Drive. TV’s were on and people chattered in the background. Doors opened and closed. After prompting by Kate I sat with my left ear to her and my right (good) ear to the noise.

She asked me how I was doing. I said, “Well, you can probably tell better than I can.” She had not had to repeat herself, even sitting on my left, to my deaf ear.

The technology, whatever it is, is pretty amazing. It seems to fade into the background, just doing its job helping me hear. OK. I just looked up the noise filtering tech and my eyes crossed. Whatever it is, it works pretty well in the environments where I’ve tried it so far.

A minor revelation, along the lines of seeing stars clearly with new glasses, is the clacking of my computer keyboard and the mouse. Too, eating is particularly noisy. All that chewing sound that comes with vegetables. Who knew? Well, everybody but me, apparently. The last and oddest revelation is the different version of my voice. A gravely, low pitched sound comes to me when I start talking. Weird.

I have not yet tried the new tech on the grandkids. Their voices are very difficult for me to hear and I’m hoping that will improve.

Final thought. Many people, when considering the question, say they would be lost without their sight. Can’t imagine it. But, those of us with hearing loss, especially profound deafness as I have in my left ear, know that hearing is the relationship sense. It’s how feelings, wishes, desires, the subtle cues of how we’re getting along with others transit from one singularity to another. Imagine life without being able to hear I love you. Imagine being unable to hold a nuanced conversation about some matter of intimate importance. Or, a nuanced conversation of any sort.

Even with sign language, in which a nuanced conversation  is possible, the number of people with whom you can hold one is severely limited. Not many people know sign.

I can’t imagine life without sight either, but I know that life without sound would be devastating.

Lughnasa                                                              Elk Rut Moon

Into the booth yesterday, a come to my senses day. Brandi, a bright and cheerful doctor of audiology (a new degree to me), found significant hearing loss in the middle and high pitches. That was my right ear. She tested the left ear, as all audiologists feel obligated to do. The little boxes on the report which record results at the various frequencies all had a downward arrow from the left corner. That downward arrow connotes no response. I did hear the 115 decibel sound. Through bone conduction in my right ear.

So, a hearing aid. Many of you who read this made this decision long ago. But, I only need one! That cuts the cost in half. A sort of good thing.

An hour later I was over at Corneal Consultants playing space invaders. The ophthalmologists (boy is that a hard word to spell) insist on calling it a visual field test. It uses little points of light (think G. Bush I) to evaulate peripheral vision. Aced it. Pressures good, too. Got that glaucoma under control for now.

As long as I’m on this medical note, I’m also experiencing the return of a shoulder/elbow problem I had three or four years ago. A lot of pain, most right now focused on the elbow and the upper arm of my left arm. The shoulder has less pain this time around. I got rid of it with P.T. last time, choosing not to have an MRI to diagnose it. This time I’m going to find out what it is.