Category Archives: Great Wheel

Energize

Summer and the Korea Moon

Tuesday gratefuls: Hernia ultrasound. Scrotal ultrasound. Prolia shot. Colorado Pain tomorrow. All Drs., all the time. Western medicine. Ruby. Her air conditioning. 101 degrees in Lakewood yesterday. Drip irrigation. Artemis’ heater and exhaust fan. Those Tomato Plants. Healthy. Some Chard sprouting. Morning darkness. The Great Bear. Stars in the morning Sky.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: The deaf ultrasound tech

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Yirah. Awe.

Tarot: The Great Bear, #20.  How can I energize my creativity?

One brief shining: On a gurney, again, Deanna holding the ultrasound wand, giving me directions like bear down, cough in her deaf inflected voice, asking me a question like when did you have your hernia repair then turning to see my lips move, when watching the ultrasound image, she leaned back in an attitude of stiff concentration.

 

Imaging: MRIs. P.E.T. Scan. X-ray. Now ultrasound. A tour of the look inside crew. Completed in three months. Like winning all the majors on the golf circuit. Sort of.

Charlie Petersen, my old Internist who moved to Steamboat many years ago, often said, “Each of us is a black box.” Imaging techniques try to peer inside the black box, take away some of the mystery. But they’re only as good as the interpreter. AI has proven to be very skilled at this particular task. Radiologists plus AI yield better understanding than we had before.

Glad we have these technologies, not so glad I have to make use of so many of them, so often.

 

Tarot: The Great Bear, #20 of the major arcana, out of 21. The major arcana represent the fool’s journey, or, in the Wildwood Tarot’s instance, the wanderer’s. The Great Bear appears as the next to last step on the journey before #21, the World Tree.

The card shows a passage tomb between two great Oaks, a Polar Bear guarding the entrance. Inside the tomb the wanderer lies, experiencing death as a passage way from one life to another, a transformation, a rebirth.

The Great Bear’s position on the Great Wheel of the Year corresponds to the Winter Solstice. That annual opportunity to die to one’s old self on the longest night and be reborn in a world illuminated by the burning of the Yule log.

As I thought about my question, how can I energize my creativity, I realized the Great Bear called me to see. See that I laid in the tomb for much of this year, changing again into a Dog companion with Shadow, into a gardener with Artemis, connecting again with Mother Earth in a co-creative way, linking my life again to a Dog’s.

They have, each in their own way, opened my lev, my heart-mind. Through them I see myself as an intimate with the world of growing, changing lives. Both energizing my creativity and mutual expressions of it. The long struggle with Shadow, learning her ways and helping her adapt to mine. Artemis teaching me about raised beds, about drip irrigation, about a greenhouse where I can regulate the temperature, make the Tomato Plants happy.

The left Reverend Doctor Israel Herme Harari.

 

 

Bonus Post: A Fall Garden

Summer and the Greenhouse Moon II

Planted my late summer garden this a.m. Nathan has cold frames under construction so I can extend the growing season for the outdoor raised beds well into September.

Adding this bonus post because it felt so good to have my hands in the Soil. Judging depths and distances for optimal Seed maturation and thinning. Watering. Writing small signs for each Vegetable.

Shadow wandered around below the raised beds wondering what had so much of Dad’s attention.

The fall garden has Swiss Chard Rainbow, Spinach Bloomsdale, and Beets Chioggia in one bed and Arugula, Lettuce Lolla Rossa, and Chard Silverbeet in the other.

A bit of organic fertilizer went in over the weekend and has gotten watered in. After I planted the seeds, I’ve gone back over them with a watering can. This gives them moisture and helps prevent air pockets which can cause rot while a young plant grows.

This small bit of gardening, done at chest level, wore me out. Had to do it in shifts. Wow. Illustrated the wisdom of the raised high raised beds.

The only thing I have left to do today involves twine for tomato plant support. When I get rested again, I’ll finish that.

Intuitive Connection to the One

Summer and the Greenhouse Moon II

Friday gratefuls: Joanne. Alan. Gabe. Ruth. Marilyn and Irv. New trowel and cultivator. Planting the fall garden. Cold frame. Nathan. Mandela Day. Monsoons. Ginny. Janice. The Wildwood Deck. Shadow coming in. Halle, leaving on Aug. 8th. The Jang’s. Arriving Aug. 2nd. P.T. Ultrasound.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Life, well lived.

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Patience. Savlanut

Tarot:  The Page of Arrows, Wren.

 

One brief shining: In the mail, a new trowel and cultivator, Tomato cages, ready for the planting of a fall garden that will make use of the cold frames Nathan has devised for Artemis’ outside raised bed and for the Tomato plants in the greenhouse that have bloomed and gotten so big.

 

Artemis: Blooms! It’s one thing to grow Tomato Plants, another to grow Tomatoes. A balance struck between Plant and Fruit. So far it looks like a good balance. The Plants need support, growing tall. Got some modular Tomato cages in the mail yesterday.

Working on the fall garden today and tomorrow. Nathan has designed cold frames for the two raised beds which should be enough to get this mid-summer planting past the first frosts in September.

All an experiment this year. Next year in the Spring I’ll start my own plants in the greenhouse well before the last frosts in late May. I would say this year and next will be about learning how best to utilize Artemis. She and the seasons will teach me.

 

Dog journal: A late evening feeding. Shadow has begun to come in for the night. I think, I hope, this will last. She associates coming in around 6 with her evening meals. I close the door and she’s inside until morning. Morning comes around 4-5 a.m.

Slowly, slowly.

 

Organ recital: Oh, hell. I get so tired of this. No ultrasound scheduled yet. Halle at P.T. gave me pointers on how to avoid aggravating a possible hernia.

Next week Wednesday I go to Colorado Pain for a consultation and possible scheduling of the SPRINT device. The steroid injection seems to have had no effect on my hip.

Nothing new with the cancer. Which is good news.

 

Tarot: The Page of Arrows-Wren*. Today’s question: How can I celebrate Mother Earth here on Shadow Mountain? The Druid’s considered the Wren a sacred bird, know for its wisdom and cunning.

In Kabbalah all of the court cards: Ace, King, Queen, Knight, and Page relate to Chochma, the divine attribute of wisdom on the Tree of Life.

The suit of Arrows in the Wildwood deck corresponds to the Spirit realm, to the element of Fire, and to the level of soul that transcends thought and represents a direct intuitive connection to the One.

I read all of this to mean that Artemis, the Lodgepoles, the Aspens, the Swallowtails, the Pentstemons, Grasses, Bear Paw, Ants, Squirrels, Chipmunks, Rabbits, Canadian and Blue Jays, Magpies, Robins, Mule Deer and Elk, Moose, Mountain Lions, Foxes, and Bears speak to my intuition, to my direct connection to the One through careful observation and care for them all.

I’ll close today with this Celtic lore:

Bards told of a contest to see which Bird could fly the highest. Many Birds competed, but the Eagle felt confident. He did not notice the Wren that rode up on his back, then flew above Eagle’s highest reach to win.

Cunning, yes. Fair? Not really. Still the Wren, one of the tiniest Birds in all of Great Britain defeated much more capable competitors.

 

*Shifting Energy:

The Page of Arrows, or Wren, marks a transition from the active, sometimes impulsive energy of the Arrows (akin to Wands in traditional tarot) to a more grounded, observant, and introspective phase.

    • Wisdom and Cunning:
      The Wren is a symbol of wisdom, cunning, and a deep understanding of the natural world. It suggests that you can achieve your goals through a combination of intelligence, observation, and strategic thinking. 
      Youthful Curiosity:
      The card encourages you to embrace your inner child’s curiosity and approach new situations with an open mind and a willingness to learn. 

Earthly Page Energy:

The Wren is often depicted as a small bird that stays close to the ground, symbolizing the earthy Page energy of the Wildwood Tarot. This suggests that you should ground your ambitions and focus on practical application of your skills. 
Gemini

Hey, cuz

Summer and the Greenhouse Moon II

Thursday gratefuls: Shadow. Flowers on the Tomato Plants. The Monsoons. Here in force. Tarot. Luke’s class. Tom’s friend, Terri. In Israel. Mark in Al Kharj. Mary in K.L. Seoah, Murdoch, and my son in Osan. Chipmunks. Birds. Butterflies. Squirrels. Rabbits. Wild Neighbors in the back yard.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Wild Neighbors

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Patience. Savlanut.

Tarot: The Woodward. How can I improve my daily life?

One brief shining: Shadow patrols the deck outside Kate’s old sewing room, sniffing through the floorboards where the chipmunks have lived ever since Kate and I moved here, reminding me of Rigel, the predator, who became so excited by the smells wafting up that she scratched claw marks in the composite boards that cover the deck.

 

Cousins: 15 first cousins on my mom’s side. Of them I’ve stayed close with only one, Diane. Whom I visited a year ago May in her long time city of residence, San Francisco.

I wrote a bit ago about those of the fifteen who have died, occasioned by the recent death of Tanya in a tragic fire at her home in Rush County, Indiana.

Then I read this interesting article about cousins in the Atlantic. The Great Cousin Decline. I hadn’t thought about this knock on effect of lower birth rates, but it’s obvious when you do.

My growing up, especially through high school, featured family trips to Morristown, Muncie, Arlington all of us piled into first that chunky maroon 1950 Ford, then the gray and white 57.

On the way to Morristown we would stop at The Post restaurant for lunch. The Post being a State Patrol Post nearby. That was a treat.

Thanksgivings in Muncie at Aunt Marjorie’s and Uncle Ike’s with a kid’s table, a big Turkey, and football in Uncle Ike’s den. Family reunions in the park in Greenfield. The occasional wedding or funerals. Sleepovers.

Yes, I was often the one with the stack of comic books off in the corner reading. I know. An introvert from early days.

One result of having so many cousins in four other families meant lots of family drama. A lot of it kept from us kids as we grew up. That Aunt who got pregnant out of wedlock. Wedlock. Does anybody even use that word anymore?

The cousins who might have had other fathers. Bi-polar disorder. A professional gambling man, one of my uncles. Grandpa reputedly winning the farm on a bet at the Kentucky Derby.

Not at all Leave It To Beaver or Patriarch Knows Best. I feel sorry for those with few cousins, now most folks I guess. Broadened my world.

 

Tarot: The Woodward. Pulled this card a second time. Guess I need to pay attention to it. Here’s one interesting take on his meaning that resonates:

“The Woodward’s strength, drawn from nature’s inherent power to renew and overcome, is needed if we are to foresee what is to come and wait upon the turning of the seasons. Sometimes, when faced with a challenging situation, we must find our own inner backstop, the point from which we will not retreat or from which we can move forward with quiet confidence. The Wildwood ethos has much to teach humanity about calm, resolute strength.”  Parting the Mists

 

Improving Balance

Summer and the Greenhouse Moon II

Monday gratefuls: Shadow coming in on her own. P.T. Exercise. Overnight Rain.  Artemis at 68 degrees. Tomato Plants thriving. Cleaning up after the party. The stool. Oiling it. Gabe’s awakening. World Chimpanzee Day. Primates. Lucy. Australopithecus. Gorillas. Neanderthals. Homo sapiens. Still evolving. The Bird of Dawn. Lift up the weary. The Morning Service. The Shema.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Israel ben Avram v’ Sara

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Patience. Savlanut.

Tarot: #14 Balance

One brief shining: Mornings bring us up from the one sixtieth of death (as the sages call sleep), our soul returns to our body, Shadow wakens, comes over and licks my face, I let her out; later I say the Shema, read parts of the Morning Service and ask a question of the Wildwood deck, drink coffee, begin to type.

(N.B. Images below created by chatgpt from my prompts.)

 

A Bird sings, or rather, rasps, greeting another day as Great Sol slowly warms the Air cooled by the night. Shadow has come in after her early morning turn outside, awaiting her main meal at seven.

I’ve done my in bed exercises, but my workout yesterday ouches my left leg still. A tramadol and two acetaminophens washed down with espresso roast coffee. My Lenovo Thinkpad warms my legs through my Vermont Flannel red and black checked jammies.

That Balance card* sifts its way through my question to the deck: What can I do to enhance my experience of the Tarot? First blush. Read the morning service. Balance the Tarot with the ancient tradition. The Siddur. A prayer book written largely by Kabbalists. So, I do.

Second blush. Balance indoor, reading time with outdoor time with Shadow, with Artemis, with Shadow Mountain. As I have been doing. Be even more intentional.

The Wildwood book offers a sad word about balance. The way our capitalist dominated economies have pushed away from indigenous knowing about living in harmony with Mother Earth. How instead a loving, intimate, co-sustaining relationship has become transactional. And, at that, an unbalanced transaction where Mother Earth may be plundered for what we need without regard to future consequences.

My immersion in pagan ways-in the cyclical beauty of the Great Wheel-born from my  immersion in the Great Work, makes me sad.

Yet. A Colorado Youth Climate Conference. Gen Z awakening to their brutal task, undoing late stage capitalism and restoring a balance necessary for human survival. Ruth and Gabe, their peers.

May they go where we failed. May they forgive us our sins as their ancestors. May they be strong where we were weak.

My ongoing task now is to support them, love them, hold out my hand as a grandfather. Let them know we are not all cruel, selfish, indifferent. And that they are wonderful, amazing.

 

*”You must balance and be patient. This is the right time to take a break and consider all the personalities that exist in you. To keep walking, you must now stay calm and still. Finding inner balance will help you understand yourself, be confident in your own strengths. Your personalities may include the dark corners you don’t want to face, but you need to accept and control them. Balance is absolutely essential to freeing the individual self from fear and self-doubt.”  TarotX.net

 

Lowering the Flag

Summer and the Greenhouse Moon II

Sunday gratefuls: Cookunity. Shadow, face licker. Her head on my pillow this morning. The Bird of Dawn. Firm steps. International Rock Day. Shadow Mountain. Conifer Mountain. Bergen Mountain. Black Mountain. Really big Rocks. Artemis. The stool. Cool Morning. Dreams. Mark in Al Kharj. 111 degrees. Getting his May pay.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Shadow

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei. Gliding on currents of the sacred.

Week Kavannah: Patience. Savlanut

Tarot: Two of Swords. Injustice.

One brief shining: Shadow goes from rug chewing to sock eating and throwing over to her puzzle with treats under plastic sliders, her tire goes up, now her squirrel long ago rendered squeakless, a quiet moment, then a roll on her back making satisfied sounds. Waiting on her breakfast.

 

Dog journal: Through various ad hoc strategies I’ve been able to get Shadow inside the last few nights. I sleep better. Except. She gets up at 4 am. So there’s that. Yesterday she came inside on her own. The day before Gabe got the door closed.

Life improves when she’s inside at night. She likes it, too. I woke up this morning and her head rested next to mine. All l want for her and me.

 

Sabbath: I prioritize reading, time with Shadow, with friends. Tending the garden. Quieter moments. Allowing the week’s sludge to settle, then drift away. Some sabbaths I study. Torah. The New American Reformation.

Oddly, after long conditioning from my youth, the more I observe the Jewish sabbath, the more Sunday takes on a similar cast. Two sabbaths. More quiet time.

 

Tarot: I asked the deck, what can I do to reignite my creativity. The two of swords gave me a jolt. Made me reconsider the content of my writing. Maybe I could write more about injustice? Plenty of material these days. Or, have I done myself an injustice by letting my fiction slide away, buried under the weight of days. Things to consider.

 

Artemis: The unfinished wooden stool for Artemis came Friday. I plan to spend some time today using a couple of wood oils to give it protection from both moisture and drying out. A manual act I enjoy.

Waiting on a small rake-like tool and a trowel then my fall garden will go in the Soil. Excited to add Seeds to the Squash and Tomatoes. The fall planting will include carrots, beets, spinach, chard, lettuce, radishes, and, of course, herbs. Will be exciting to see Sprouts.

Great Sol throws light on Artemis early in the morning, arcing across the back yard, then bathing her west-facing raised bed in the afternoon and evening. With the translucent material used for Artemis’ greenhouse, Great Sol illuminates both raised beds and the greenhouse most of the day.

 

 

Just a moment: Trump Tarrific. Interesting article in the NYT about trade realignment among nations trying to soften the chaos created by our TACO President.

Trump may force other countries to bond together to counter his tariffs. This will mean stronger trade ties that do not include the U.S.

Let’s lower the flag another quarter inch. (Think Union of Concerned Scientists atomic clock.)

Work in Harmony with Nature

Summer and the Greenhouse Moon II

Sabbath gratefuls: Mezuzah on Artemis. Rabbi Jamie. Marilyn and Irv. Gabe. Luke and Leo. Tara. Her Rhubarb trifle. Artemis. Staying in the Tomato temperature zone. Waldo. Jamie’s Triumph. My first invitation to a group since Kate died. Ritual. Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha’olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu likboa’ mezuzah. The blessing for hanging a mezuzah.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Gabe

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei. Slip streaming the life force.

Week Kavannah: Patience. Savlanut.

Tarot: What will I do with the sabbath? The Ace of Bows.

One brief shining: They came: first, Luke and Leo, then Marilyn and Irv, Tara, later with his white helmet, riding his newly repaired motorcycle, Rabbi Jamie and the table Gabe and I prepared for them offered Strawberry lemonade, sweet Tea, hummus, cut Vegetables, Kalamata Olive bread, crackers, and Tara’s wonderful Rhubarb trifle.

 

From left: Irv, Marilyn, Gabe, Tara, me, Rabbi Jamie

Artemis: A sanctuary. A home temple to the seasons, to the Vegetative world, to human collaboration with the Soil. To the One within which we move and love and have our becoming. To the chi in Seeds and Water and Sunlight.

We dedicated her yesterday, my friends and my Rabbi. Rabbi Jamie pounded in the bottom nail. We said the blessing. I pounded in the top nail. Jamie read a Psalm he had translated about the house of David.

Back in the house we sat in just enough chairs, ate and drank from the table. Talked about matters Jewish. About Gabe’s amazing writing. About Luke as a teacher and artist. About the Tarot. And, of course, with gritted teeth of the One Who Shall Not Be Named.

It was, I think, the first time I’d had a gathering of friends here on Shadow Mountain since Kate died. Family, yes. Individual friends, yes. But not a group, small though it was. Felt good.

My sacred community-Gabe included-together to consecrate this work of Nathan’s and mine. Amen.

 

Dog journal: Shadow loves company. People and Dogs. Leo came with Luke and Shadow tried, really hard, to get old man Leo to play. He did, a bit until he fell and hurt his paw. Not bad, no limping but enough for Luke to sequester Leo. Leo is twelve years old. Old for a Dog his size.

Gabe cleverly went around the house and closed the downstairs door so Shadow had another night inside. Ate her 7pm meal and went to bed. I slept much better with her inside.

 

Tarot: I asked the deck what I should do with this sabbath. I drew The Ace of Bows.

Here’s a bit from the Wildwood book: “We witness the moment when the bow with its arrow rekindles the fire. The fire of life is promised to us by Beltane forest lovers who are currently burning in our lives. The bow created by humans shows that in order to create Spark, we work in harmony with nature, making the most of her gifts, without overwhelming or destroying her.” TarotX.net

Artemis. Final planning for her fall garden. Yes. Tarot. Doing the reading for Luke’s class. Yes, today, this sabbath day.

 

 

Feel the Fire in your Bones

Summer and the Greenhouse Moon

Friday gratefuls: Luke and Leo. Laundry. Shadow and Leo. Buddies. Warm Night. AI. Chatgpt. Images. Mussar. Diane. Her book club and cherry chutney. The Greenhouse, Nathan’s careful work. Scott. His pollinator Garden. My son. Moving. Seoah. Murdoch. Ruth and Gabe coming up today.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Luke’s many talents

Week Kavannah: Bitachon. Confidence.  “A feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s abilities or qualities.”

One brief shining: Piece by piece the greenhouse comes together, two Koi on the door, deep raised beds on the sides, a raised bed inside it, shelving for pots and space to work along both inside walls, the clear insulating sheets going in place to let in Great Sol and retain the warmth.

 

Summer Solstice: For those of you new to Ancientrails, this is the day I celebrate not only the victory of light on the longest day, but also the ascendancy of the night which starts tonight, continuing night by night until the Winter Solstice. We need the warmth of Great Sol for our plant allies to grow and we need the darkness and Lesser Light illumination of the night for our soul’s growth. The yang and the yin of seasonal change.

In Nordic and Scottish lands the Summer Solstice, much like Beltane, finds bonfires blazing, naked bodies dancing to the drums and pipes. Never got the chance to participate, perhaps next incarnation.

Stop a moment today. Feel the heat of Great Sol. Let the Sun enlighten you, fuel the dreams and work of your heart. An active time, a time to push forth into the world with the best, the strongest parts of your Self.

Choose, if you can, to feel fire in your bones, energy surging from feet to head like the sacred flow of energy from the crown of the Tree of Life to Malkhut, this tangible world, and back up again toward the ayn sof. Your body and soul, unique and irreplaceable, yet also one with the other, all others. The true and important secret not hidden from us except when we slip into routine, into habitual ways of knowing.

As I wrote yesterday: Celebrate, celebrate. Dance to the music.

 

Dog journal: Luke and Leo came over yesterday. Shadow greeted Leo. A nip here, a play bow there. Leo, a large and older Dog took his time to respond. He played a bit with her before lying down on the cool tile for a gentleman’s rest.

Meanwhile Shadow put her paws on the other chair down here, and licked Luke’s face. She takes others visiting with enthusiasm. Ginny and Janice come over on Sunday afternoon with Annie and Luna. More fun for Shadow.

Right now Shadow has the severed tail of a stuffed Skunk toy in her mouth flailing it from side to side while she rolls on her back. A puppy.

 

Just a moment: Well, red tie guy has proved more thoughtful than I imagined. Diane offered a reason. The isolationist wing of the MAGA movement having its say. Could be.

Godzilla v Mothra

Beltane and the Greenhouse Moon

Friday gratefuls: Irv, Tom. New Human Consciousness. Halle. Hip and leg pain. Exquisite. Kylie today. Taylor today. Natalie today. Alan today. Shabbat this evening. Shadow, chewer of duvets. Sweet morning girl. Tara. Susan. Diane. Morning darkness.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Information

Week Kavannah: Shleimut. Wholeness and Peacefulness.

One brief shining: Rain and slow delivery of plastic foundation tiles has delayed the construction of the greenhouse, but I’m ok with that since it will be a slow project, maybe flowers more than vegetables this year, not sure what the later planting schedules can yield.

 

Greenhouse: Nathan asked me a week ago if I would prefer plastic foundation tiles, better for water runoff in Spring. Sure, I said. He didn’t know then that the delivery of these tiles would not happen until this evening. He’s very apologetic, going to cut me a break on labor at the end of the project. Things like filling my raised beds with soil. Kind of him

The delayed construction has drained some of my enthusiasm for the project, though I imagine once the construction gets going that will return. Besides, it’s a long haul project. Once it’s up the fun begins.

Next week Nathan will have a helper and he’s done a lot of precutting so the greenhouse will go up fast.

 

Dog journal: During my nap yesterday Shadow jumped up on the bed, lay with her head on my legs, and slept. Such a sweet moment. With her willingness to hug me and get hugged back, her greater ease with the threshold (far from resolved), and her willingness to be on a leash, we’ve moved into new territory.

Of course. While on the bed, she did rip my duvet, allowing goose feathers to escape. Buying cloth tape to fix it. No sense being elaborate since she’ll probably do it again. Gonna buy new bedroom stuff from carpet to bed to nightstand after she finds her maturity.

Shadow has also mastered the stairs to the main level. She’s up there right now while I write on the lower level. Wonder what she’s doing?

 

Health: A significant Friday morning. Taylor, Dr. Buphati’s P.A., (oh, Shadow just came back down) will tell me the results of my MRI and my PET scan. As usual, my anxiety titer hits its peak about now. Do I have many more metastases? Is there cancer in my hip joint? And if so, what happens next?

That’s at 8:30. Then, at 9:40 I see Kylie to get slipstreamed into the medical process again, this time for the SPRINT neurostimulator device implantation. My life would be better if my pain were less.

 

Just a moment: Aw. The Donald and the African-American coming to blows. Elon’s intelligence and his libertarian revulsion toward government bonded with Trump’s Revenge and Chaos tour. Result? Madness.

Now Trump’s willingness to do whatever he wants whenever he wants with no underlying rationale other than personal animus and a narcissistic belief that any thought passing through his mind is big and beautiful has clashed with Musk’s libertarian, tear it all down and don’t let it get back up sensibility. This is a perverted form of ideological logic versus irrationality. Will not end well. For any party affected. Including the U.S.

Shou Sugi Ban Treated Wood for Artemis Greenhouse

Beltane and the Wu Wei Moon II (3% crescent)

Sunday gratefuls: Shadow jumping onto my legs this morning for a hug. So sweet. Fun with old socks. Our new, changing relationship. Back pain. Zerizut for p.t. and resistance work. Tara. Alan. Rich. Luke. Mussar. Shabbat. Morning prayers. Enveloped by Rain and Fog. Mom and Dad, both veterans. My son, a future veteran. All those who defend us with their lives.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Rain

Week Kavannah: Zerizut. Enthusiasm. for p.t. and resistance.

One brief shining: As Great Sol began to disappear behind Black Mountain yesterday, a rainy Fog rolled in and gave my backyard a ghostly appearance, Lodgepoles coming in and out of sight, Shadow rushing inside all wet from running through a Cloud.

 

On Ancientrails: You may notice some extra posts here and there. I’ll signal them with something in the future, probably an image. You will find my regular as usual posts with the format of long standing.

These new posts are me trying to write out, work out my sense of where I am in my thought process about certain matters like spirituality, theology, politics. I’ve had this urge to write down things I’ve thought about for a long time. They’re incomplete sentences, non-systematic because I’ve admitted to myself that I’m not a system builder or even an always logical thinker. There is this strain of mysticism, a poetry of the inner world that means more to me than a syllogism. Though I love syllogisms, too.

You will know these entries by their lack of gratefuls, sparks, kavannah, one brief shining. Please feel free to ignore them. They’re me scratching my name in the wet Sand. I want a record of those ideas before the King Tide rolls in.

 

Dog journal: Shadow bounded into my arms this morning before I got out of bed, her paws on my outstretched legs. As if overnight, she’d forgotten to be shy, to be scared. I hugged her and she wriggled happy, licking my face. Yes, I said to her, this is what I want. What I need. An oh so special moment.

 

Back pain/cancer: Tara will take me to my open-sided MRI. I’ll have taken an Ativan for my claustrophobia so I’ll be talkative with little executive function for a filter. Glad I trust her.

Here’s an oddity with this MRI. Both my oncologist and my pain doc want images of my hips. Both have sent orders. I hope that doesn’t screw things up.

Oncologist checking for metastatic growth in my hips. Pain doc getting information for a possible insertion of a SPRINT device later. Two diagnoses for the price of one! BOGO.

 

Just a moment: We will move into the Artemis Greenhouse Moon tomorrow. Nathan comes tomorrow to begin building. He thinks it will take about a week. I’m excited. I want/need to grow things again.

It will be done in shou sogi ban treated wood. This is an ancient Japanese wood treatment that involves charring the surface of a board, then sealing it. Nathan has taught himself how to do this.

Since I’m starting a little late in the gardening year, I’ll have to be careful with what I plant, but I’ll get crops this year. Plus there will be flowers.