Category Archives: Aging

Gettin Old

Fall                                Waxing Blood Moon

Garlic planting today.  Turnip harvest.  Gazpacho making.  Garden work appropriate to the season.

Have had a little trouble getting to it.  Just finished a call from Allianz Insurance on my application for long-term care insurance.   A pleasant young woman took down my information.  She said, “Ohhh”  every once in a while, the sort of sound made when empathizing with a small child or a fragile senior.  Empathy is a funny thing, done well as this young woman did  it soothes and calms.  Done poorly it can raise my hackles because it trespasses into the realm of independence, mine, and may cross the tense border between empathy and sympathy.

This time, unlike with the John Hancock interview, there were no rows of numbers to remember, no questions about the day, month, year, season.  This experience was superior to the John Hancock nurse, who seemed a bit distracted and hard bitten.

Later on sheepshead.

Now, to the outside.

Picking Grapes With Hilo

Fall                                       Waxing Blood Moon

As the sun went down this evening, I picked grapes.  Picking grapes reaches back in time, especially wild grapes, as these are.  It reaches back to our hunter-gatherer past, a past much longer than our post neo-lithic, agricultural and urban  world.  This vine grows here because it can.  Maybe someone planted grapes long ago here, but these small grapes, almost like miniatures, offer themselves in the eons old rhythm of plant reproduction.

To get at the clusters, all smaller than the palm of my hand, I found it easier if I first removed a covering of vines and leaves that obscured the grapes.  Do these leaves shade the grapes, keep them from desiccating too soon?  Is there some part of the grape’s maturation that requires a cooler, shadier environment?  I don’t know, but the layering of leaves, then grapes up near the main vine, where it crawled across the top of the six foot fence we have toward the road, appears intentional, at least intentional in the way that evolution works through its blind selection of more adaptive characteristics.

Hilo, our smallest whippet, accompanies me when I work outside.  She hangs around and watches me, wanders off and finds something smelly to rub on her shoulder, watches other animals go by on the road.  Her companionship also reaches back into the  paleolithic when humans and shy wolves began to keep company, fellow predators brought together by the similarity in the game they hunted and the also similar method of hunting in packs.

This time of year, the early fall, would have been good then too.  The food grows on vines and on trees, on shrubs and certain flowering plants.  Game eats the same food and becomes fat, a rich source of nutrient.  My guess is that there was a certain amount of anxiety, at least in these temperate latitudes, for the older ones in clan would know that winter comes after this time of plenty and that somehow food had to be preserved.

Kate takes the grapes and turns then into jelly and apple-grape butter.  The act of preservation, though now more sophisticated technologically, was essential back in the days prior to horticulture and agriculture.

The resonance among these fall related acts and our distant past adds a poignancy mixed with hope to them.  We have done it, we do it, others will do it in the future.  As the wheel turns.

Bio-Char and the After-Life

Lughnasa                             Waxing Blood Moon

The Woolly’s met at the old Cenacle in a new retreat center.  We’ve met there three or four times this year.

The focus was views on the afterlife.  The conversation revealed a surprisingly conservative undertone with several Woollys hedging their metaphysical bets.  Immanuel Swedenborg got a mention as did reincarnation as a proven reality.

Some, like me, took a more existential stance.  “Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof.”  I believe that was Carl Sagan.  The questions death raises have confounded humanity since at least the time of the Neanderthals.  There is something about a void after death, an extinctionist perspective I saw it called recently, that unsettles many people.

It is, as much as anything else, I imagine, such a stark contrast with the vitality and hereness of life.  That this magical adventure, this ancient trail might end in nothingness seems like a cheat.  But by whose perspective?

To me the wonder is this life, this one chance we have to experience whatever we can, to do what we can.  To be who we are.

On another note Mark Odegard had two words for today’s graduates:  bio-char.  New to you?  Me, too.  It’s worth a look though and here’s a website that will help you get up to speed.

Lughnasa                                       Waning Harvest Moon

Yesterday and today were full of new information, new faces.  Both days challenged my capacity to sit in one place for a long time.  The 40+ Aeron chairs in the Minnesota Foundation’s board room made finding a good chair easy and did make the day more bearable than the plastic backed metal chairs in the Northstar Ballroom.  Both days were long and challenging mentally.  A good thing.  But tiring.

Tomorrow Kate and I go see our financial planners, I call it visiting our money.  We want to discuss how they will generate cash for our payouts and have them run them run our projections using a 4% drawdown rather than the 4.6/4.7% they used.  This will give us a new and hopefully longer time horizon before our money runs out, but it will also shrink the amount of money available each year.  This is a trade-off than another consultant, Ruth Hayden, says is necessary since we’re all living longer.

Unless you are very wealthy, living large and living longer are incompatible.  That’s not to say we will, in any wise, be hurting in retirement; it does mean the cruises, trips to Hawaii and expensive purchases will have to be truncated.  Bearable.  Our life does not revolve around luxury.

The solution to our fence jumpers, according to Junior Lehman, the breeder and caretaker for a large pack of hounds, is an electrified fence.  I thought this was most likely the cheapest and easiest solution, but until I heard from somebody with some experience I didn’t want to spend money on it.  Now it will be off to Fleet Farm and hopefully we can begin letting Rigel and Vega outside again to romp and play, develop as dogs.

Surgery and Rigel Back Home Pics

Lughnasa                                     Waning Harvest Moon

Kate’s decided to have surgery.  A scheduler will call tomorrow or Monday to set up a date, probably mid-to-late October.  She’ll have 2 days in the hospital and 4-6 weeks of basic rest for recovery.  The surgeon believes this will alleviate up to 80% of her current lower back symptoms.  The neck will remain for now.

Kate used our dehydrator last night, drying roma tomatoes.  We’re experimenting right now, seeing what we like dried.  All part of the grow it, store it, eat it plan.

Rigel minutes after her return home.

rigelathome

Vega and Rigel, happy to be together again

rigelaround-vega

Vega has a swimming pool, but she likes the watering bowl, too.

vegainwater

After Action Report

Lughnasa Waning Harvest Moon

Reality meets prejudice and anxiety. I was the only person in the church with a tie on. In fact, the worship leader for the meeting greeted me as I came up the walk, “There’s our speaker. He’s the only one with a tie on on Labor Day Weekend.

At the end of the presentation I got applause and several people wanted to hear part II.

Note to me for part II: expand on Adam Smith and his works impact in our time, also spell out positive/negative liberty and freedom, plus pay more attention to critiques of the enlightenment like Marx, Romanticism and totalitarianism. Also, the congruence among liberalism and its allies: science, liberal education, liberal democracy, human rights work et al.

Still Thinking Out Loud

Lughnasa                         Waxing Harvest Moon

“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” – Albert Einstein

Einstein’s notion reminds me of the definition of insanity:  trying the same thing over and over expecting different results.  Of course, any one familiar with computers knows that sometimes this works just fine.

It also gives me some pause before I write my liberalism series.  An article in this month’s Dissent asked, “Does liberalism have enough resources to re-energize itself?”  I like this question because it focuses my thinking.  This is why I’m interested in pursuing liberalism.  Does it have enough historical and philosophical oomph to make a difference in this and tomorrow’s world?

10 years ago I would have said no.  Absolutely no.  As a card carrying member of the New Left, liberalism was as much the problem as conservatism, perhaps even more since it was liberals who got us into the war in Vietnam, who ran corporate america and the government, aka the System and, BTW, Ike Eisenhower’s military-industrial complex.  Hard to recall a time when the liberals were in power at this point in recent American history, but I grew up under a liberal hegemony.

Now, I’m older and less convinced of drastic, sudden change as either possible or workable, too much risk for too little reward.  At least right now.

If we’re not gonna have a revolution, then we have to consider the hand we’ve been dealt and it’s our peculiar brand of American liberal democracy.  That means looking for all the possibilities in likely and unlikely places.

At night the trees dwarf the houses, their bulk massing up against the sky.  During the day we can pretend they are just plants, but as dark falls their true nature emerges.  We are the Lilliputians in their Brobdingnagian world.

Life Busting Out All Over. Much Better Than the Alternative.

Lughnasa                           Waxing Harvest Moon

My thoughts on Enlightenment were cut off mid think by this world, Rigel on an adventure outside the gate.  Now I’ve secured the gate (I think.) until it can be repaired and I’m about to return to research for the Liberalism series.

We have many tiny strands of life breaking out:  Kate’s spine, Rigel’s venturesome spirit, Vega’s big gallumphing crashing presence, a gnarly conceptual piece that needs to be written by September 6th, the oncoming harvest, driveway seal coating on September 8th and the next round of Ecological Gardens work starting on September 9th.

I also have a tour today at 1:30.  Thank God, it’s only Sin and Salvation.  Ha, ha.

Barriers and Transitions

Lughnasa                               Waxing Harvest Moon

The day so far.  Bought 55 granite blocks to use in constructing barriers to the dogs.  Bought 10 straw bales to reinforce a barrier to the dogs.  Do you see a pattern?

A nap, then a workout and some Sierra Club work.  The day has sped past with work and play, now winding down toward the evening when I sit with the dogs, read or watch television.  Eat supper.

Kate’s in a definite transition mode this year, perhaps even in the next few months.  The pain causes her increasing difficulty, sometimes she spends her non-work hours recovering from work.  Literally.  Not a situation that can go on forever.

The neighbor whom I have mentioned in the past, though, has bigger issues.  His mental decompensation seems to track with his physical.  He grabbed his daughter’s arm and bit her.  His wife had to call the police to come take him to a psych ward.  He returns home tomorrow with nothing different.  A sad situation.

Young Man

Lughnasa                                New Moon (Harvest M00n)

Oil change today for the Celica, now at 255,000 miles and still nimble.  Then a drive up to Elk River to buy straw.

The guy who runs Martie’s Feed and Seed is about my height, 5’7″, wears a ball cap like I do.  I have maybe 15 years or so on him.  As I went up to the counter, he said, “What can I do for you, young man?”  Again, this young man.  I seem to have reached a point where people find me in need of assurance that they still count me among the able, which, of course, in the perverse way of such assurances, does the opposite.

The mirror shows a gray haired, gray bearded guy with significant balding and some wrinkles.  The Keatons, my mom’s side of the family, age early in the face and I’m no exception.  This is another of those invisible border lines, reinforced by multiple responses.  Soon, I’ll start thinking of myself as a “young man,” that is, an old man in need of a jocular boost from those in the know.