Category Archives: Family

Asia, Dogs, Family, Fourth Phase, Health, Korea, Weather +Climate

500 MPH

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Summer and the Korea Moon

Wednesday gratefuls: Shirley Waste. Shadow, the seeker in the dark. Russian Kale. Chioggia Beets. Bloomsdale Spinach. Sprouting. Rainbow Chard. Rocket Arugula. Lettuce Lolla Rossa. Peeking out. Tomatoes blooming. Squash, too. 8.8 Earthquake. Tsunami. A dangerous Mother. The Jang itinerary. Artemis. Baseball. Football. Soccer. Basketball.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Sprouts

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Yirah. Awe.

Tarot: The Knight of Arrows. Hawk.  What do the cards have to tell me today?

One brief shining: Ended my p.t. with Halle after 19 sessions, back to my own routine with cardio, upper and lower body days, feeling the burn, the muscle memory taking over, an habituated expectation that on this exercise my body needs to do this. Serious grind.

 

chatgpt couldn’t get the number of people right. But you see the idea

The Jangs: My son sent out an itinerary for their 7 days here. A possible list of things to do. Ride the Georgetown Railroad. Museum of Natural History and Science. Dinosaur Ridge. Water activities on Evergreen Lake. Guanella Pass. Those sorts of things.

Have to take into account age, too. Two elderly, two kids, two middle-aged adults. Not to mention diet. The first, highest priority item? A visit to H-Mart for food suitable for a Korean palate.

It’s one thing transitioning from an American diet (if you can grace hamburgers, meatloaf, potatoes, peas, and corn with that lofty word) to the subtle and varied Korean diet. Quite another to go from Korean to American.

Seoah’s a pro at this though, so it will be no problem. My son, too.

 

Dog journal: Shadow and I have both lowered our stress levels. Her coming inside for her evening meal makes night time easy. Her coming up on the bed at naptime and sometime (earlier now) in the night signals her growing security. This makes me happy.

 

Mother Earth: Kamchatka Peninsula. 8.8 temblor 90 miles off its Coast. One of the strongest ever recorded. Underwater fault lines slip. Water rushes up to 500 mph. It’s the sudden stop on this Coast or that one. Water rises at speed, sweeping Rock, Sand, Buildings, Animals, people as it does.

She’s a dangerous lady, our Mother.

 

Health: Going to Colorado Pain today for a consultation. Hopefully leading to the implanting of a SPRINT device.

My pain level has receded with p.t., some modest help from steroid injections, and the car seat cushion. Receded, but not gone. My mobility remains limited. Bending over painful enough to make me avoid it.

Also. On Monday I had on odd experience. Deanna, the ultrasound technician was deaf. She spoke in a stilted way, watching my lips.

She had it down. I admired her ability to succeed in a hearing dominate world.

As she said, “Two ohdurs. Hernia. Scrrotum.” She pointed to the words on her paper. I nodded. Trying to find the source of my pain two Sunday’s ago.

In Lakewood. 101 degrees. I drove back up the hill as soon as we finished.

 

*A quicksilver messenger of fate, the Hawk can help and support you to see through layers of doubt and uncertainty to the problem at the heart of the matter. Be swift and use your common sense to progress.

Asia, Dogs, Family, Far Right, Korea, Politics

A D.E.I. family

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Summer and the Korea Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Morning Darkness. Artemis glowing. Shadow, protecting the yard at 1 a.m. From the inside. Her head on my pillow. Jim Butcher. Harry Dresden. Moving toward Lughnasa. First harvest festival. Mabon. Samain. The Great Wheel. Sukkot. Pesach. Shavuot. The Tree of life.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: The Cosmic Void

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Yirah. Awe.

Tarot:  The Woodward. (yes, again) How can I get stuff done around the house today?

One brief shining: Shadow’s head on my pillow, her coming inside at night, walking out to Artemis, checking on the Tomato Plants, looking for the Shoots to come up in the raised beds, writing Ancientrails, regular exercise, filling my soul.

 

Just a moment: Psst! Yes, you. Have you heard about the Epstein files? No? Well, let me tell you.

If the Donald has a hint of sexual predation on under age girls, much of his base will throw him to the Democrats. I mean, cruel Evangelicals have their limits. At least I think they do.

Conspiracy theorists eat their own young, so red tie guy will not get a pass. Irony, thy name is MAGA.

Interesting to see where this goes. Attempts to distract: Release MLK files. Blame Jerome Powell for costs incurred building a building five years ago and claim it as a cost today. Put out executive orders on, oh, what was it again? I can’t keep track. Maybe recasting statues of Confederate Generals? Telling the Commanders they have to go back to their old, racist name.

Will no one rid red tie guy of this troublesome pedophile? What? They did? Oh. Well. At least there’s the Epstein files.

Finding a depravity in this President with chronic moral insufficiency that goes below all the others. That’s quite a challenge. But this might be the one.

 

The Jangs: As the Jang clan nears takeoff, Seoah said there is a lot of excitement. Buzzing.

Diane, cousin Diane in San Francisco, offered to write the Giants and tell them that a whole Korean family has come to see Jung-hoo Lee play. Might give them a chance to meet Lee. A kind gesture on her part.

When they get here on August 2nd at 7 pm, their bodies will be on 10 a.m. Korea time. I imagine at least a day or two of serious jet lag. Then let the sight-seeing begin.

That also gives Seoah and my son time to go to H-Mart, stock up on Korean diet friendly foods. Korean cuisine is, imho, a world treasure whereas the U.S. diet? Not so much.

I hope Ruth gets her internship in Korea next summer. Getting involved in the Korean medical education system early could help her if she chooses Korea for medical school.

What an odd weaving together of Jews, Norwegians, Koreans, a Bengali, and a garden variety white family. I love it. Can you say D.E.I.?

 

Dog journal: Me and my Shadow. She just came in for breakfast. Her big meal. I still feed it to her by hand.

 

 

 

Dogs, Family, Far Right, Judaism, Politics, Shabbat, White Supremacy

Interesting Times

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Summer and the Korea Moon

Shabbat gratefuls: Shabbat. The coming of the Jang’s. Aug. 2. My son and Seoah. Gabe and Joanne. Artemis. An early sprouter. 1 Red Russian Kale. More and more Tomato Blooms. Hard Rock. Ledges. Boulders. Scree. Talus. Mountains. Oceans. Beaches. Tides. Riprap. Water. Lakes. Great Lakes. Lake Superior. Lake Huron. Michigan. Erie. Ontario.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Rocks and Water

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Yirah. Awe.

“Our goal should be to live life in radical amazement. ….get up in the morning and look at the world in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is phenomenal; everything is incredible; never treat life casually. To be spiritual is to be amazed.”
― Abraham Joshua Heschel

Tarot: The Woodward. How can I increase my joy of the sabbath?

One brief shining: We sat, the four of us at a round table, not our usual one which had occupiers, Gabe meeting Joanne with his desire to become a writer, excited and yet quietly confident, Alan guiding the conversation’s focus on Gabe and Joanne while punning, always.

 

Family: Part of the role of family. Recognizing the dream of the moment for another. Helping them get as far as they can. Visiting my son. From base to base. Ruth changing majors from art to pre-med. Yes. Gabe meeting Joanne at the Dandelion yesterday. Encouraging Mark as he advances in Saudi.

We do not choose another’s path. But we can spread roses along it.

 

Dog journal: Shadow has become a regular inside at night dog! I’m pretty sure we’re over that puzzling moment in our history. Thank god.

Her job during the day lies in patrolling the backyard for what are, to Shadow’s mind, errant creatures. Barking at them. This is my place. Not yours. Go somewhere else.

This job entails a lot of lying on the ground and resting, yet remaining alert. Unless Great Sol warms her belly and she falls asleep.

 

Judaism: I love Heschel’s idea of living life in radical amazement. My everyday, every moment hope for myself. That I can see the sacred lying there asleep in Great Sol’s warmth. That even the pain in my buttocks says, yes, you’re alive! That the Water I drink comes from Mother Earth’s recycled, refreshed, purified supply. That my fingers still remember the keys. That my body breathes. My heart beats.

Yirah, indeed. Joy of the sabbath. Yes.

 

Just a moment: Saw an article about RTTL, Return to the Land, an Arkansas version of South Africa’s Orania, a white-separatist town. RTTL has 160 acres in Arkansas and want to start a new version of their back to the land, whites only community in Missouri.

Idaho already has several back to the land far-right commune-like spots. Granola conservatives. Funny. We had a different idea for the same back to the land idea in the sixties.

RTTL: “You want a white nation? Build a white town,” Eric Orwoll says, in one video posted on social media. “It can be done. We’re doing it.”

“RTTL is at the vanguard of an ethnonationalist movement that has been organising online – a network that aims to define countries by ethnicity but which links across borders.” Sky news, op cit

We’re living in interesting times.

Asia, Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Greenhouse, Judaism, Memories, Paganism, Plants

Not Even Past

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Summer and the Korea Moon

Friday gratefuls: Ruth and Gabe. Nathan. Tarot. Morning Darkness. Cool morning. Shadow the mover of toys and socks. The sleeper. Alan and Joanne. Dandelion. RTD. Japanese lanterns. Red tie guy. His allies and facilitators. The rest of us. The most. Our long, slow slide into a third-rate country.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Japanese Lanterns for Artemis

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ahavah. Love.

Tarot: The eight of Vessels-rebirth. How can I enhance my joy in the Tarot.

One brief shining: Ruth drives her pale green Subaru up the hill to Conifer, to Shadow Mountain Black Mountain Drive and she brings Gabe, Jon, Kate, Merton, Rebecca, BJ, Sarah, Annie with her, the living and the dead who occupy our memories and still shape our lives. Family.

 

Family: Its many branches planted here and in the here after. Jon and Kate. Tanya. Leisa. Rebecca and Merton. Of recent and sometimes blessed memory.

Not gone. Not at all. Haunting or supporting. Often both in the same moment. A remembered moment of hearts spread out on a restaurant table. A father watching movies with his son. A hostile mother demeaning her children. A hand held gently. A smile and a hug just when needed. Those quiet, small moments when love flashed between the two. Or among the three.

Mothers and fathers. Daughters and sons. Brothers and sisters. Grandfathers and grandmothers. Cousins. Kin.

Mark works in the desert of the Arabian Peninsula. Mary starting a new expat life as a permanent resident of Australia. Melbourne. Guru in K.L. My son in Osan along with Seoah and Murdoch.

Mom and dad. Long dead now. Yet not absent. No. Following Faulkner: “The past is not ever dead; it’s not even past.”

The stories. Of Charlie Keaton. Of Mabel. Of Aunt Mary and Aunt Mame. Aunt Nell. Uncle Riley. Aunt Virginia. All ghosts now, all hidden from earthly view yet still alive, still shaping us in ways we sometimes know and in ways we often do not.

How will we dance in the minds of our family after our deaths? Will it be a slow, graceful gavotte. A passion fueled tango. An elegant waltz. Perhaps a rock and roll moment, abandon and energy. Something we cannot predict, nor ever know.

 

Artemis: Nathan brought by two Japanese lanterns yesterday. Adding to the koi already on the door and his wooden accessories. Artemis has a distinct Asian inflection, appropriate for this guy whose family long ago fled west across the Pacific to Korea, Malaysia, Thailand, Singapore, Australia.

Artemis is, in that way, a family shrine as well as a temple to my mixed pagan and Jewish spirituality. Her Tomatoes have many spiky yellow blooms, her Squash Plants have begun to throw vines over the raised beds, while the seeds of her fall salad garden right now take in moisture and heat, have located Great Sol’s path above them and will soon emerge above ground.

Still to plant: Herbs, flowers. And, later, in October, garlic.

Dogs, Family, Greenhouse, Korea, Tarot

Ichi go, ichi e

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Summer and the Korea Moon

Thursday gratefuls: Ruth and Gabe coming up. Breakfast at Aspen Perk. Shadow coming inside. Tramadol. Hip, leg, and buttocks pain. Morning darkness. 48 degrees. 64 in Artemis. Topping the Tomatoes. Chatgpt, my fellow gardener. Tarot. Bluebells. Pentstemon. Mullein. Daisies. Seeds resting in the womb of Mother Earth. Readying themselves for growth. Amelia Earhart Day.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Artemis

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ahavah. Love.

Tarot: Ace of Bows.  How can I celebrate the coming of the Jangs?

One brief shining: Stuck my index finger in the Soil, testing for Soil Moisture, guided the Squash plants out and over the edge of the outside raised beds, clipped the leaders of the Tomato Plants so they would stop growing up. Gardening.

 

Artemis: Learning her ways. For example. My careful tending to the Tomato Plant temperatures, the Salmon I put under each Plant, the organic fertilizer I worked into the Soil, and the regular drip irrigation has made them grow well and fast.

However, as you can see in this photograph, they’re reaching the ceiling of the greenhouse. Hmm. Checked what to do on Chatgpt which suggested three options: 1. Trim the leader of each Plant which will stop upward growth and send energy to fruiting. 2. Tilt the plants by lifting them a bit and making them grow to the side. 3. Trim outside Branches so the Plant would become bushier.

I chose to trim the leads which I did yesterday. Next year I will choose dwarf determinate seeds and start them early. Determinate Tomato Plants grow up, indeterminate tend to grow more like Vines. Both have their place, but Artemis has space only for dwarf Determinates. Learning.

Next week this time the Seeds should be sprouting and thinning will be the next task along with putting down Hay or Compost around the young Plants. In this Arid climate maintaining moisture around the young’uns as they grow and develop Root systems is critical. I may need to shade them a bit, too, until Nathan has my new cold frames installed. Great Sol can burn Plants at 8,800 feet. Learning.

 

The Jang’s in Gwangju. Sept. 2023

Jang’s visit: A week from Saturday Seoah’s family lands in Denver. A punishing trip, as Ruth learned this May. I imagine the first day, maybe two will be recovering, acclimating both to elevation and the time zone change.

After that, Seoah and her sister will choose what various activities will be good for her parents, who are a bit older than me, and her sister’s family, which includes teen-agers.

Joe has rented a large van which will get a lot of use. Ruth will help with transportation, too. I will, too, on shorter jaunts. Ichi go, ichi e. Once in a lifetime.

 

Dog journal: Shadow and I continue to learn each others ways. Accommodating each others idiosyncrasies, including early bedtimes and early rising. Soon we’ll have to return to the dreaded leash, but I believe it will be easier this time.

 

Family, Great Wheel, Tarot

Hey, cuz

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Summer and the Greenhouse Moon II

Thursday gratefuls: Shadow. Flowers on the Tomato Plants. The Monsoons. Here in force. Tarot. Luke’s class. Tom’s friend, Terri. In Israel. Mark in Al Kharj. Mary in K.L. Seoah, Murdoch, and my son in Osan. Chipmunks. Birds. Butterflies. Squirrels. Rabbits. Wild Neighbors in the back yard.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Wild Neighbors

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Patience. Savlanut.

Tarot: The Woodward. How can I improve my daily life?

One brief shining: Shadow patrols the deck outside Kate’s old sewing room, sniffing through the floorboards where the chipmunks have lived ever since Kate and I moved here, reminding me of Rigel, the predator, who became so excited by the smells wafting up that she scratched claw marks in the composite boards that cover the deck.

 

Cousins: 15 first cousins on my mom’s side. Of them I’ve stayed close with only one, Diane. Whom I visited a year ago May in her long time city of residence, San Francisco.

I wrote a bit ago about those of the fifteen who have died, occasioned by the recent death of Tanya in a tragic fire at her home in Rush County, Indiana.

Then I read this interesting article about cousins in the Atlantic. The Great Cousin Decline. I hadn’t thought about this knock on effect of lower birth rates, but it’s obvious when you do.

My growing up, especially through high school, featured family trips to Morristown, Muncie, Arlington all of us piled into first that chunky maroon 1950 Ford, then the gray and white 57.

On the way to Morristown we would stop at The Post restaurant for lunch. The Post being a State Patrol Post nearby. That was a treat.

Thanksgivings in Muncie at Aunt Marjorie’s and Uncle Ike’s with a kid’s table, a big Turkey, and football in Uncle Ike’s den. Family reunions in the park in Greenfield. The occasional wedding or funerals. Sleepovers.

Yes, I was often the one with the stack of comic books off in the corner reading. I know. An introvert from early days.

One result of having so many cousins in four other families meant lots of family drama. A lot of it kept from us kids as we grew up. That Aunt who got pregnant out of wedlock. Wedlock. Does anybody even use that word anymore?

The cousins who might have had other fathers. Bi-polar disorder. A professional gambling man, one of my uncles. Grandpa reputedly winning the farm on a bet at the Kentucky Derby.

Not at all Leave It To Beaver or Patriarch Knows Best. I feel sorry for those with few cousins, now most folks I guess. Broadened my world.

 

Tarot: The Woodward. Pulled this card a second time. Guess I need to pay attention to it. Here’s one interesting take on his meaning that resonates:

“The Woodward’s strength, drawn from nature’s inherent power to renew and overcome, is needed if we are to foresee what is to come and wait upon the turning of the seasons. Sometimes, when faced with a challenging situation, we must find our own inner backstop, the point from which we will not retreat or from which we can move forward with quiet confidence. The Wildwood ethos has much to teach humanity about calm, resolute strength.”  Parting the Mists

 

Dogs, Family, Friends, Great Wheel, Greenhouse, Judaism, Shabbat

Work in Harmony with Nature

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Summer and the Greenhouse Moon II

Sabbath gratefuls: Mezuzah on Artemis. Rabbi Jamie. Marilyn and Irv. Gabe. Luke and Leo. Tara. Her Rhubarb trifle. Artemis. Staying in the Tomato temperature zone. Waldo. Jamie’s Triumph. My first invitation to a group since Kate died. Ritual. Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha’olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu likboa’ mezuzah. The blessing for hanging a mezuzah.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Gabe

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei. Slip streaming the life force.

Week Kavannah: Patience. Savlanut.

Tarot: What will I do with the sabbath? The Ace of Bows.

One brief shining: They came: first, Luke and Leo, then Marilyn and Irv, Tara, later with his white helmet, riding his newly repaired motorcycle, Rabbi Jamie and the table Gabe and I prepared for them offered Strawberry lemonade, sweet Tea, hummus, cut Vegetables, Kalamata Olive bread, crackers, and Tara’s wonderful Rhubarb trifle.

 

From left: Irv, Marilyn, Gabe, Tara, me, Rabbi Jamie

Artemis: A sanctuary. A home temple to the seasons, to the Vegetative world, to human collaboration with the Soil. To the One within which we move and love and have our becoming. To the chi in Seeds and Water and Sunlight.

We dedicated her yesterday, my friends and my Rabbi. Rabbi Jamie pounded in the bottom nail. We said the blessing. I pounded in the top nail. Jamie read a Psalm he had translated about the house of David.

Back in the house we sat in just enough chairs, ate and drank from the table. Talked about matters Jewish. About Gabe’s amazing writing. About Luke as a teacher and artist. About the Tarot. And, of course, with gritted teeth of the One Who Shall Not Be Named.

It was, I think, the first time I’d had a gathering of friends here on Shadow Mountain since Kate died. Family, yes. Individual friends, yes. But not a group, small though it was. Felt good.

My sacred community-Gabe included-together to consecrate this work of Nathan’s and mine. Amen.

 

Dog journal: Shadow loves company. People and Dogs. Leo came with Luke and Shadow tried, really hard, to get old man Leo to play. He did, a bit until he fell and hurt his paw. Not bad, no limping but enough for Luke to sequester Leo. Leo is twelve years old. Old for a Dog his size.

Gabe cleverly went around the house and closed the downstairs door so Shadow had another night inside. Ate her 7pm meal and went to bed. I slept much better with her inside.

 

Tarot: I asked the deck what I should do with this sabbath. I drew The Ace of Bows.

Here’s a bit from the Wildwood book: “We witness the moment when the bow with its arrow rekindles the fire. The fire of life is promised to us by Beltane forest lovers who are currently burning in our lives. The bow created by humans shows that in order to create Spark, we work in harmony with nature, making the most of her gifts, without overwhelming or destroying her.” TarotX.net

Artemis. Final planning for her fall garden. Yes. Tarot. Doing the reading for Luke’s class. Yes, today, this sabbath day.

 

 

Dogs, Family, Fourth Phase, Memories, Minnesota, Politics

It still exists

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Summer and the Greenhouse Moon II (Full)

Thursday gratefuls: Shadow, the outdoor girl. Artemis ready to receive plantings for a fall garden. Halle. Capybaras. Marmots. Nutria. Mice. Cool morning Breezes. Mezuzah. The ritual for hanging them. Monism. Squirrels. Tarot. The Forest Lovers. Wild Neighbors screeing. Rain incoming. What did the idiot do today?

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Wind and Rain

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah:  Hearing on the side of merit

Tarot pick: Forest Lovers, #6 of the major arcana

One brief shining: This morning I shuffled the Wildwood deck, cut it three times, and asked the deck what I needed to do about Shadow, my mystery girl, and it gave me this card, the Forest Lovers, the male and female energy present on Beltane, the start of the growing season.

 

Dog journal: A hot night. Mid sixties. Shadow outside yet again. Once again challenging my vision of our relationship. How it should go. At night in particular.

Last night we were having a hug on the small patio stones outside my back door. We shifted our stance a bit and I stepped on her left rear back paw. She yelped and ran off. No way she was coming in last night. No words, no apologies. I hurt her. She left. Fast.

Better this morning. I think she knew it was an accident, but her love of freedom and being her own Dog wouldn’t allow an immediate reconciliation. Damn it! Neither of us needed that.

The Forest Lovers. Drawing this card made me see that as I’ve wondered and as Tom suggested yesterday the wu wei here, the flow of the chi, may entail letting her stay outside at night.

I need to get an assessment of how much danger Natalie believes Shadow is in at night. From Mountain Lions. I believe the threat is low, but the consequence of being wrong is catastrophic.

We are yin and yang. I need her feminine energy in my life and she needs my masculine energy. Together we can bring out parts of ourselves that would lay dormant otherwise. The most confounding experience I’ve ever had with a Dog.

 

Life insights: A family of teachers. Mom. Mary. Mark. Several cousins. I’ve often wondered why I didn’t become a teacher, too. When graduate school slipped out of the picture, I never pursued teaching again.

Except. As an organizer, it was my job to teach people how to live into their power. When unemployment had reached crisis levels in 1988 Minnesota, I along with others recruited church leaders, union activists, and unemployed people across the work spectrum.

Once in a room together, with an 18 month old Joseph on my hip, I drew from them their anguish, their anger and frustration. This was the fuel for them to come together against a common foe: an unfair labor market.

Once we identified those emotions, we moved to  using our various strengths. The moral power of the church. The organizing power of the unions. And the willingness to put it all on the line of the unemployed.

The Jobs Now Coalition came into existence. Together we convinced the Minnesota Legislature to pass M.E.E.D. The Minnesota Emergency Employment act which funded half of a new hires pay for their first six months.

It still exists:  Jobs Now Coalition.

 

Dogs, Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Mussar

Hearing on the Side of Merit

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Summer and the Greenhouse Moon II

Monday gratefuls: Relationship building. Shadow. Learning curve for us both. Still steep. Shadow the hugger. Morning darkness. Staying longer. Artemis. Kate, always. Natalie. Ruth and Gabe. The duvet. Ruth’s skills. Gabe’s skills. Each Tomato Plant. Each Squash. Syntropy. Entropy. Science and the Ancient Brothers. Indiana Fever. Those Twins.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Ruth’s sewing. Gabe’s bedmaking.

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei. Find the flow. Go with it.

Week Kavannah: Hearing on the side of merit

One brief shining: Ruth took on a difficult task, sewing patches by hand on my duvet where Shadow the render of cloth had worked to release many sneeze producing Goose Feathers; so good to see a woman sewing in the house again.

 

Ruth after sewing a heart on Gabe’s baboon.

Grandkids: Ruth and Gabe came up yesterday. I’d told them I needed help with some things. Patching the duvet was one. Shadow had torn it open in several spots a while ago and each time I used it more Goose Feathers would float up, up, up and away. Some tickling my nose. Achoo.

Ruth has the dexterity of her father and her grandmother. She sewed for two or three hours, also sneezing. When she finished, every hole had been patched. Some with sewing. Some with cloth tape. What a relief.

Gabe lifted my heavy (to me) foam mattress and put on new sheets and pillow cases. “These look like you, Grandpop,” he said of the blue Flower printed design. He also carried down a bag of dogfood for me. Also a relief.

We had pizza together. And talked.

We talk about books, about relationships, about grief, about school, about the future. We laugh and get teary. To have this sort of relationship with two I’ve known since infancy continues to be one of the jewels of my life.

They left around four.

 

Dog journal: The saga continues. Once again Shadow refused to come in to stay in the evening. Even though I’ve moved her second feeding to seven p.m. She came in to eat, but bolted again when I tried to touch her collar.

When I went outside, she came up and hugged me, as she likes to do, jumping up softly and putting her left front paw around my waist. After we did this several times, I picked her up and brought her inside. I don’t know, right now, any other way to keep her safe at night.

 

Mussar: Hearing on the side of merit. Judaism teaches judging others on the side of merit. Assuming good intent, thoughtfulness when encountering difficult interactions.

Rich Levine offered a twist on that: Hearing on the side of merit. As a lawyer and as a college professor, listening is a significant, major part of his work life. Hearing on the side of merit entails stopping, perhaps, when encountering a divisive or contrary idea, going to first principles and finding an area of agreement before answering or responding.

Easier to write about than do. Mussar suggests small, incremental changes in outer behavior, intentional changes that then reshape the inner self. Hearing on the side of merit is a good practice for this week.

Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Greenhouse, Memories, Plants, Seed Keepers

A Family Tragedy

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Summer and the Greenhouse Moon II

Monday gratefuls: Keaton Cousins. Tanya. Kenya. Carla. Lisa. Cathy. Diane. Richard. Kristen. Ikie. Melinda. Annette. Sibs. Mary and Mark. Joe and Seoah. Ruth and Gabe. Shadow. Fire. Water. Earth. Air. The Greenhouse. Tomatoes. Squash. Planting today. Seeds. Beets. Radish. Lettuce. Kale. Chard. Salmon for fertilizer for the Tomatoes.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Tiny irrigation system

Week Kavannah: Wu Wei. Work with the chi.

One brief: She was my age, Tanya, one of the five Steffey girls who lived in Arlington when I was young, slender and delicate, pretty in a country girl way, married to David, a farmer, and she died two nights ago trapped in the garage during a house fire.

 

Family: Got an email from Diane yesterday with the news that Tanya, a first cousin also born in 1947 like me, had not escaped a house fire in her home in Rush County, Indiana.

We are close, we Keaton cousins. My mom convinced my dad to move back to Indiana from Oklahoma so she could be closer to her family, the Keaton side.

While I’ve not seen most of them in a while, except for Diane, all those Thanksgivings, summer family reunions, overnight visits, we knew each other well. And care about each other.

We lost Lisa, the youngest Steffey, a while back to a stroke. Ikie to complications from a spinal problem and Annette to the end of a tough life. Now Tanya in a house fire. A large extended family withering away, one by one, as the seasons come and go.

Sadness, loss, disbelief. Faraway from the Rockies, yet so close in my memory. My heart.

Since moving to the Mountains, I’ve not made it home much. The last time September of 2015, my 50th high school class reunion. Not long after my prostatectomy. Don’t remember if I saw Tanya on that trip or not. Mary saw her this summer while visiting.

I’ll miss her.

 

The Greenhouse: Planted the Tomato Plants yesterday. In the Greenhouse because they like/need heat. Had a large Salmon fillet I had cut into portions and frozen too long ago. Unthawed them and put Salmon beneath each Tomato Plant.

Nathan came later in the day and topped off the outside raised beds with compost, installed a nifty irrigation system, picked up his trash. We shook hands, wished each other well.

He’ll be back because he has to install the black mesh fencing to keep out the Deer and Elk, the heater for the winter, and Cedar lap boards to seal the bottom of the greenhouse. I enjoyed working with him, getting to know him.

This morning I plan to Plant seeds in the outside raised beds. More salad fixings. Radish. Beets. Lettuce. Arugula. Kale. Chard. Nasturtiums. A few Marigolds for companion planting.

The Greenhouse has come to life.

 

Dog journal: My Shadow spent her fifth night in a row outside. Protecting us from marauding Mule Deer who would eat our Grass during the night. She protected us all. Damn. Night.