As It Is, So Shall It Be

Imbolc                                         Waning Cold Moon

We have hoarfrost on fences, tree limbs, shed roofs.  I looked out yesterday afternoon and it fell to the ground like snow from two big cottonwoods.  Shrubs appear limned in light as the morning sun refracts through the hoarfrost on their branches.  We have a white, soft landscape that carries the long shadows of morning in their full definition.

This February has been outspoken in its winter voice.  The woodchuck in Pennsylvania saw his shadow, so we might have a February and early March filled with cold and snow.  That’s ok with me.

I’ve been waiting for the gardening bug to hit me, usually it happens around New Years.  It did a bit.  I got a couple of seed catalogs and spent time sifting through them.  Then, however, the feeling went away, submerged I guess by the unrelenting nature of this seasons winter.  Kate says it’ll return and I hope she’s right.  We’ve got a lot of garden that will need care soon, well, relatively soon.

Meanwhile I get messages from Mexico, Georgia, Singapore and Bangkok, places where winter either never happens or lands with a light brush.  Watching Burn Notice last night I felt for the first time a pang of envy at the easy way the characters moved the Miami climate.

It’s been a busy time for me, something I generally embrace, but I also love downtime.  I’d better not keep writing here or I’m going to write myself into a fit of melancholy, not what I want or need right now.  So, Vale, amici!

Sunny Beaches. hmmm. what would that be in latin?

Imbolc                             Waning Cold Moon

Kate and I have gone through Chapter 4 in Wheelock.  Onto Chapter 5 with the future and imperfect tenses and their conjugation.  Doing this makes me wonder what other layers of knowledge I have tucked away, not called upon, yet ready to return to duty if asked.  As Greg, our tutor, said, “You learned this already.”  We’ll move out of zone of previous learning, but right now, the auld tongue has come back pretty well.

Got back in the study today for the novel after the nap.  We do our sessions with Greg at noon on Thursdays, so we spent this morning on review, then in conversation with him.

The novel has not gone anywhere.  It has not gotten longer while I slept or while I was at Blue Cloud Abbey.  I read much of what I had written, trying to get back in the groove and that took up my writing time for the afternoon.  Tomorrow morning I’ll put fingers to keyboard again.

Buddy Mark has pics from the beach outside Puerta Vallerta.  The one below of an Aztec dancer has an interesting rattle.

Monkish

Imbolc                                 Waning Cold Moon

Boy.  3 this morning.  The cold moon has almost winked out and it’s still cold here.

We have at least 2 feet of snow in our orchard.  The goose berry and currant plants have only a foot of cane showing.  In the way snow has stayed on the ground, this has reminded me of an old fashioned Minnesota winter.

It’s great learning weather.  Nothing like sitting next to the green metal gas stove in the study, Wheelock on the book stand,  the snow covered boulder wall outside.  Just like a monk in a scriptorium.

Latin, more Latin

Imbolc                                    Waning Cold Moon

Another Latin day.  Started out with a review of vocabulary cards.  I had a number to put firmly into memory so that took some time.  After that I began translating sentences.  With the vocabulary on board the translating went fairly smoothly.  I also had to do the English to Latin translation, too.  That’s still harder, but I hope it will get easier as we go along.

Doing the Latin puts a concrete accomplishment in the day and that feels good.  With the retreat, our Monday usual business, yesterday’s time at the capitol and today’s Latin, I’ve fallen behind on my words per day on the new novel.  That should pick back up starting tomorrow.  Of course, there will be chapter 5 in Wheelock, too.  And that tour a week from Friday.  Tonight the Sierra Club’s legislative committee.

Off to workout.

Critiquing Salvation

Imbolc                                     Waning Cold Moon

OK.  To finish up the thought that got strangled as Morpheus took over my body last night.

Salvation through technology has infected our thinking, a direct consequence of the relentless application of reason to larger and larger spheres of knowledge.  Astronomy, physics and chemistry, geology, later biology all have had their mystery peeled away to reveal orderly, predictable processes.  As mystery drained away from the natural world–though note that mystery is not gone.  It lurks still behind quantum mechanics, life, consciousness, unified field theory–a slow build of an irrational hubris grew in inverse relation.  Because we knew some, we believed we knew enough.

Salvation through economics has infected our thinking, a direct consequence of the relentless application of reason to the idea of value and its diverse manifestations.  The ancien regime has been replaced by capitalism in many flavors, Marxism, socialism and even state socialism.  Again, as mystery drained away from the field of economics–though note that mystery is not gone.  It lurks still behind market crashes, the failure of planned states and the strange amalgam called socialism with Chinese elements–an irrational hubris grew in inverse relation.  Because we knew some, we believe we knew enough.

Salvation through religious dogma has infected our thinking, a direct consequence of an aversion to the application of reason to matters of faith.  The axial age faiths continue and have split, many claiming exclusive paths to human redemption.  They have not been replaced and  the mystery is why?  The strong brew of metaphysics, gods and goddesses and an answer to the perennial question of death keeps reason at bay when it comes to matters of faith and belief.  Because we believe we know enough, we believe.

The only way to examine these outsized claims lies in the disciplines that fall under the broad rubric of the humanities.  Only by going deep into the ways humans have lived their lives and responded to it through the arts and through historical reflection can we critique those splinters of our humanness that clamor for our attention.  Technology, economics and religion seem to offer hope for the future if only we can subjugate ourselves to their demands.  The unexamined aspect(s) of our lives poses the greatest threat to control us.

It is to this project that I have donated my life, the project of never taking anything for granted, of trying to see as many sides as possible of a claim, of using unexpected tools.  Poetry as a defense against the outsized claims of economics.  Music as a foil to the reach of technology.  History as a way to place religious systems within their proper context.

In that sense, then, yes, knowledge is the fuel and I do know where I’m going.  I also know I will never find the end of this ancientrail.  Its end lies beyond all of us, perhaps beyond the gates of death itself.

Not Known To Self

Imbolc                             Waning Cold Moon

“It is clear Charles, you know where you are going, and knowledge is the fuel.”   a fellow Woolly

Have you ever heard of the Johari window?  Here’s a graphic that illustrates it.  The white or open box represents common information shared between yourself and others who know you. The reddish brown box contains the stuff of which you are aware, but have shared with no one.  The third box is the one I’m interested in here, the green box.  It contains material not known to you, but known to others.  This is information to which you are blind for one reason or another, yet is apparent to at least one other.

This comment from a Woolly falls in the blind box for me.  Or maybe not.  A bit hard to tell.

It did make me reflect.  If someone else thinks where I’m going is clear, why would they think that?  Do I really know where I’m going?  Why is knowledge the fuel?

Here’s what came to me, after rolling the idea around for a week or so.

Long ago, perhaps in adolescence, the notion of a liberal arts education became central to my personal project.  How did it get there? It may have been my parents, could have been teachers, might even have been a minister, perhaps all of these plus things I read. The notion of a broad and deep education in the humanities, an education that began at least by the time of college.  There exposure to the great ideas, to the breadth of the human experience, to literature, art, music, theatre would open up a way of perception.  Perception that would inform life, even create a life.

There’s a lot more to this, but I’m tired.  Later.

Mr. Ellis Goes to the Capitol

Imbolc                         Waning Cold Moon

I spent the morning at the capitol.  Justin and I visited Frank Hornstein and Kathy Bigham.  These are meet and greet sessions where we talk to legislators on committees important to our legislation.  It does put a different spin on lobbying per se, but the general problem–big money talks–remains.

Figuring out where to park at the legislature is always an interesting process.  This time I chose a lot across from the old Supreme Court building.  By some fickle finger of fate the #1 slot was open, right by the entrance.  I grabbed it.  Only problem with this lot is you only have 3 hours, then you have to come back physically and renew.  Oh, second problem, you have to have a lot of quarters:  $4.50 worth for 3 hours.  I  stocked up on quarters before I left.

Justin and I used the lengthy system of tunnels to get from the Capitol to SOB and then onto the DOT building where we had lunch in their cafeteria.  When I first moved to Minnesota, I thought it was very funny that they had tunnels.  Now that I’ve been here almost 40 years, I wonder why we don’t have more.

I like being in the thick of things again.  It energizes me and gives me at least one place where I can help make a difference.

Memories

Imbolc                              Waning Cold Moon

Night again.  Lying on my desk here are some items sent to me by my cousin Kristen.  She’s a devoted genealogist and packrat.  Right now she’s redistributing some of the things gathered from various sources over the years.

This packet from her includes an obituary in a Shelby County newspaper for my mom:  Mrs. Ellis, 46, Dies in Hospital.  A small card with a stained glass window covered with white lilies has moms name inside, Gertrude  E. (Trudy) Ellis.  It also contains the name of Karl M. Kyle funeral home, which sat catty-cornered from our house on Canal Street.  Ed Grant did the service, the same Ed Grant who had the early morning study sessions on the Screwtape letters that seemed so adult and intellectual to me.  This was all 46 years ago.  That’s strange.  46 years later these documents of a family disaster have come home.

A small package of photographs show mom in uniform.  She was, an enclosed brief news piece says, a private in the Women’s Army Corps.  This notice said she had arrived at Allied Headquarters in Algiers after having been left behind with sprained ankle.  She looks happy, formally dressed, but ready, eager.  In another photograph she leans against an iron railing at St. Peter’s dome in the Vatican State.  The year, the back of the photograph says, is 1944.  In this one she stands behind a jeep, posed again in her uniform, now in North Africa.  Still 1944.  She sits at a table with sharp bands of light falling on a wide checked pattern on the table cloth.  She’s half hidden behind a carafe while a friend seems to be speaking to her and smiling.  In the last one she a friend, Paty, lean against a small iron fence.  They both have on long pants that come up to their waist, blouses with two pockets in front.  Here the writing indicates Paty and me, Rome, ’45.

Shards of a life, pot shards with a piece of her life’s design.  How to fit them into a whole?  How to place them in the life of the woman I knew?  I don’t know Paty.  I’ve still not been to North Africa, nor Algiers.  I have a hard time imagining my  mom as a single woman in uniform traveling Italy, going to Capri, then onto Algiers.  She spoke often of gay Capri.  She loved the song Three Coins in the Fountain and recalled the Trevi fountain with fondness.

She was my mother for only 17 of her 46 years.  We talked about the war years, of course.  Mom and dad met at the end of the war, both having served its entire duration or pretty close.  Those were conversations all predicated on the assumption that there would be plenty of time to flesh them out, a life time.  But the life, her life, was cut short.

A photocopy from 1934 completes the material.  This one talks about Benjamin Keaton, my first ancestor to live in the Morristown, Indiana area.  It has several oddities.  I’ll cite two here.

It starts with these two paragraphs:

Thomas and Rebecca Young Keaton, the grandparents of Aunt Zelda Haskett, were born in Philadelphia.

The United States capital at that time was in Philadelphia, and Rebecca, then a small child has often related to her children how her mother carried her to the window to watch the presidential parade go past at the time George Washington was inaugurated president.

Later, this note about Benjamin.

On the 14th day of December, 1837, Benjamin Keaton and Mary Spurrier were joined together in the holy bonds of wedlock by a minister who was a stranger and soon after took his departure.

Latin at Home with Snow

Imbolc                                     Waning Cold Moon

If any of you want to hear about Blue Cloud Abbey, you need to know that I have experienced technical difficulties.  If and when I resolve them, I’ll post the retreat notes.

I let the snow going fast past my window and the MNDOT warnings and the weather predictions convince me driving in to St. Paul was not wise.  My eyes and I don’t find night driving compatible in snowy weather.  Headed out to Blue Cloud we drove for about an hour in the dark.  The snow coming straight at the headlights hypnotizes me, not a good state for driving.

Instead I worked out, ate supper, played with the dogs and got through the vocabulary in chapter 4 of Wheelock.  This chapter has second declension neuter nouns, predicate nouns and adjectives and the irregular verb sum.  This verb, whose infinitive is esse=to be, is irregular, just like in English and has to be memorized.

That was a full evening anyhow.

Blue Clouds Going Away

Imbolc                            Waning Cold Moon

Tomorrow I’ll post my blog material from the Woolly Retreat at Blue Cloud Abbey.  Didn’t sleep well last night and feel sort of yucky this evening.

The drive back from Blue Cloud had its exasperating moments, but nothing that was dangerous. A few slow drivers, some drifted roads, but after about Wilmar pretty clear sailing.  Frank and I had a long running chat.