Mindfulness

Imbolc                                                      Waxing Bloodroot Moon

We’ve begun the slippery, muddy slide into the growing season, though I understand some of the parking lot snow piles, many well over 8 feet high and some much higher than that, will take a long time to melt.  Maybe months, into the summer.  The snow always pleases me as it falls and as it covers our world, now over 120 days straight with snow cover, but there is a time when it becomes a nuisance.  The snow went beyond nuisance this year and became a definite hazard as it has become impossible around the piled snow at many city intersections.  When driving the Celica out of the garage here, I’ve not been able to see traffic on 153rd since late December.  In that regard I will be not sorry to see the snow melt away.  On balance, though, I get far more pleasure from the snow than I do hassle, so when it’s time again, I’ll be ready.

Leslie’s mindfulness presentation this morning was wonderful.  We drew mandalas, did a guided meditation and ate a strawberry, a grape, a piece of cheese and a hunk of bread with intention and attention.  We washed it down with water and tea.  Each bite was an adventure.  Made me aware of how unmindful I am when I eat.  Also brought me into the present.  It was a Be. Here. Now. time.  Gotta get back to the meditation, discovered I missed it.

South America.  A lot to learn in the next six months plus.  In addition to scoping out the ports, already somewhat begun, I’ll read at least one comprehensive history of the continent, an ecological history and a natural history.  I want to find a reasonably priced geography, too.  The ones I have found so far are damned expensive.  One of the values of traveling is its ability to make the distant, close and the abstract, real.  There’s a definite gestalt to lengthy travel in a part of the world unknown.  At some point, a point uncertain, an understanding snaps into place, a combination of prior experience, preparation and that small market in Manta, Ecuador, the smells of Santa Marta, Colombia, the sight of glaciers around Punta Arenas.  Then, like the Velveteen Rabbit, South America will become real for me.

Often, I take along some literature, too, perhaps some Allenda, Losa, maybe I’ll just take take a Hundred Years of Solitude and read it again.  The phrase book, too.

Grocery store now.

On the Road

Imbolc                                                   Waxing Bloodroot Moon

58 in the weather forecast for Thursday, for my brother and sister in Southeast Asia this would be a definite cold snap, while here it means a huge warmup.

I’m traveling into St. Paul today to observe Leslie Mills present at Groveland.  Leslie is the student intern minister there.  I have had responsibility this year for helping her reflect on her experience at Groveland UU.  She’s made a lot of progress.

Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike Daylight Savings Time?  It created constant confusion for me as a child growing up in a state where it created constant confusion.  Now, as an adult, and one too much experienced with this crime against chronicity, I wish we’d leave the clock alone.  I know it doesn’t really affect the day, but it affects all kinds of human stuff, like today when I had to get up an hour early just to be on time.  I know, I know, poor me.  All I’m really saying is give standard time a chance.

Redefining the Sacred

Imbolc                                                              Waxing Bloodroot Moon

Finished a rough draft of Redefining the Sacred.  As usual, my ambition outstripped the space I had, so I had to leave out several things I would rather have included.  I’ll also have to strip out some things that are in it now, because at 8 pages, it’s a couple of pages too long.  When it’s edited, I will post the long version and the edited version here under Ge-ology.

Heading to the treadmill.

Awake. Damn it.

Imbolc                                                            Waxing Bloodroot Moon

Every once in a while.  Awake.  At 4 am.  After an hour of trying to go back to sleep, I’m still awake so I’m down here, making use of the wake time.  I’m going to write on Missing.

This means, of course, that I’ll have to pick up the sleep later in the day.  Insomnia is an infrequent problem for me, though getting to sleep is sometimes difficult.  A large part of this is a habit, developed a long time ago, of using those quiet just before sleep minutes (hour) to ponder some philosophical or political or creative idea.  Not conducive too slumber, but very ingrained at this point.

I do enjoy the night, its monastic silence and the feeling of being the only one awake, especially acute in our exurban cul de sac where lights don’t go on until 6 or 6:30.  There is, too, with a morning bout like this the opportunity to get a jump on the day, illusory as it is.

So, Good Morning.  Now to that novel.

A Third Thing

Imbolc                                         Waxing Bloodroot Moon

We went to the St. Paul Grill tonight for our anniversary dinner.  Our first date was coffee there after a St. Paul Chamber Orchestra Concert.  I learned Kate was a physician and she learned I was not a lawyer, but a clergyman.  Both surprised.

Tonight the place was hopping, full of an odd mixture of opera buffs and hockey fans.  The state high school hockey tournament is in town at the Excel Arena and the Opera is at the Ordway Theatre, both next to each other only a block away from the St. Paul Hotel, location of the Grill.

In addition, just across the block on the diagonal is the Landmark Center, where, in 1990, on this day, Kate and I tied the knot and stomped on a glass in a silken napkin.

Over the meal tonight (lamb chops, medium rare for both of us with a creme brulee for dessert) we talked about the South America cruise to which we committed yesterday.  37 days, an Inca discovery theme, with ports of call all along western South America and up the east coast as far as and including Rio.  This is a retirement present for Kate, a thank you for all her years of hard work as a doc.  I’m just going along for the ride. (Ha.)

Marriage has a palpability, is a third thing in and of itself.  When two come to anniversary, the thing they celebrate is not themselves, but this third thing they have made together.  It is, in every way, as precious and significant as a child, as difficult and rewarding, too.

21

Imbolc                                             Waxing Bloodroot Moon

Two tours today, a long time on my feet.  Hamstrings quivering when I came home.  Gotta back to the resistance training.

Gave a quick tour of the Mourners after the last Titian.  These are remarkable works of art.

Ate lunch with Joy, Tom and Morrie, all three had attended the Seven Days in the Art World lecture.

In just a few minutes Kate and I head out for our 21st anniversary dinner.

Dreamin’

Imbolc                                                  Waxing Bloodroot Moon

Still adjusting to this early rising, write, then do the rest of the day which included, today, my 2 hour mentoring session with Leslie, more writing, the legcom call, then doing a quick study on the mourners for a brief tour of them tomorrow.

So, I didn’t have much time to get here today.

Here’s an idea I had before going to sleep last night.  What if our dream life is our real life and the process of this embodied life is the aberrant condition which death resolves?  Actually, the Mexica had a similar idea.  Crazy I know, but maybe worth a story or two.

Story Problems. More Story Problems.

Imbolc                                                        Waxing Bloodroot Moon

OMG.  I can’t count!  I did about one-third the number of words at Blue Cloud as I thought I did.  A silly arithmetic error.  Have you ever seen that Gary Larson cartoon with Hell over the door and a bookcase containing books titled:  Story Problems, More Story Problems, Story Problems the 11 edition?  That’s me.

It doesn’t change how hard I worked, not at all.  Or, the value of getting back to the writing.  Just deflates my overall sense of accomplishment.  Which, come to think of it…

On my last night at Blue Cloud I met an unusual guy, Lawrence Diggs.  Lawrence is a bald headed Africa-American about my age, a Buddhist and refers to himself as the Vinegar Man.  Lawrence and I had a two hour long conversation about reality, economics, racism and writing.  It was strange to meet a fellow flat-earther as far as divine metaphysics go on the last night of my stay at this Benedictine Monastery.  Strange and exhilarating.

When the Woollys go back to Blue Cloud in September, I’m going to set up a visit to the International Vinegar Museum in Rosslyn, about 40 miles to the west on Hwy. 12, toward Aberdeen.  I mean, how many chances will you get to see it?

As I now calculate it, I have about 60-65,000 words done on Missing, counting the Blue Cloud work.  That’s about 2/3’rds of the way.  Just gotta keep plugging away.

Pawlenty and His Upbeat Environmental Message. No, I’m Not Kidding.

Imbolc                                                      Waxing Bloodroot Moon

This video, made by the House DFL caucus, casts an odd light on the current debates about gutting environmental review and pushing back standards for coal pollution, the nuclear moratorium, and softening the sulfate standards for Polymet.

Home Is Where the Garlic Is

Imbolc                                       Waxing Bloodroot Moon

This journey has begun to bend toward home.  I”m more eager know to go home than I was to come here when I left.  That seems good to me.  Home is the place you know you’re away from when you’re gone.  No place else on earth has that lodestone attraction for me.

Home is where the heart is, yes, and my heart is with Kate, with Vega, Rigel and Kona, with the raised bed and the garlic, the asparagus, the strawberries, with the bees and the grandkids play house, with the flower beds and the woods, with our house which, in exactly the same way a church is sanctified, has become sacred.  The life and the love,, our history there, has made it a sacred realm, a realm of the heart and a sanctuary for our life.

I have two yellow pads, one full, the other on its way, scribbled with this story of another world and these people I’ve come to know over the course of writing it.  Brag, Constance, John, Aeric, Gullen, Arton, Isaac, Cern.  Well, maybe a couple of these are speaking animals and one is a god, but they’ve come alive for me over the months I’ve spent on Missing.  Their journey, I see now, has only just begun, will only finish its first phase as this novel draws to a close in another 30,000 words or so.

This writing is and has been such a strange act for me, virtually solitary save for Kate, who has stuck with me in my up and down moments, my more confident moments and, most important, in my melancholy.  Otherwise, I’ve written these novels, these short stories and they go in a  file or in a box and sit, George Plimpton once called an unpublished work of his, A Monster In A Box.  This will be my sixth or seventh monster.

Not complaining just observing that’s been strange.