Good Vibrations

Lughnasa                                                               Harvest Moon

Sunday lassitude.  The slow easy feeling that overcomes one when Sunday morning is over.  It dominated my afternoon and early evening.  Ah.

Raspberry picking has become an every other day event.  The red and golden canes put out fruit which seems to ripen on a two to three day cycle.  Picking at these intervals gets ripe fruit and reduces over-ripe berries to a few.  Abundance from a small amount of ground.

Working in Modern and Contemporary Poetry today with William Carlos Williams, a pediatrician who wrote in conscious dialogue with Walt Whitman.

Modpo, as University of Pennsylvania professor Al Filreis calls the course, has, so far, the most effective pedagogy of any of the MOOCs I’ve taken.  The students, six of them, who react to the poems and his questions, give the class a dialogical aspect, real classroom dynamics.  I feel moved into the discussion, almost as if I’m participating directly rather than thinking my response to Professor Filreis’s questions.

Modern and the Post Modern, which is in its eighth week while ModPo is only in its second, today focuses on Freud, especially his Civilization and its Discontents.  These two courses complement each other with ModPo focusing on how modernism took shape in American poetry while the other course traces the development of the idea of the modern from the enlightenment onward.

There’s a positive resonance, an intellectual vibration, one sparking ideas for the other.  I’ll be interest to see how my thinking about modernism and reimagining faith will have grown and changed when I’m done with them both sometime in November.

If We Have the Energy

Lughnasa                                                     Harvest Moon

Then again.  After my presentation this morning, Be Glad You Exist, (see Third Phase header above for the full text) a lively discussion ensued.  One man, a bearded man in his late 70’s, spoke of advice his father, who lived to 96, gave him, “You have to decide whether you want to be an animal or a vegetable.”  An engineer by training, this same man talked of early volunteer experiences which wanted his skills, from age 13, not the mature, thoughtful skills of a lifetime’s learning and practice.  He now volunteers at the Rondo Library in St. Paul as a tutor.

Another woman, also well into retirement, saw many of the folks who had less than $100,000 or less than $25,000 in retirement savings.  They needed, she said, prompts to admit they needed meals on wheels, congregate dining.

Another man, also retired awhile, said, “We invented rock and roll.  And youth culture.” We’re still dealing with the consequences of that we decided.

Leslie, an attorney, whip smart and wanting to lower her stress level by cutting back, admits she fears no work.  How would she keep sharp?  Exercise her mind?

Ginny, who talked about her life on the reservation growing up in dire poverty, said, “Western culture puts so much emphasis on money, but on the res it’s community.  My sister has cancer and I love the way the community has rallied around here.  Whether she’s to stay here or not, she knows she’s loved.”

There was, too, excitement about defining this time, helping it become a new thing under the sun.  “If we have enough energy,” Leslie said.

I believe we do.

Ready to Let Go

Lughnasa                                                              Harvest Moon

Giving a presentation this morning at Groveland UU.  The Third Phase.  I’ll post it later on today.  I find myself surprisingly uninterested.  I forgot several times last night that I was doing it.  Got today planned in my head, then, went, “Oh.  Right!”  Resistance.  This may be the last of it.  There’s no longer the spark of delight I used to get from writing out my thoughts, then presenting them to others out loud.

They say fear of death and public speaking run close together in terms of intensity among most of the population.  Public speaking has never been a fear for me.  I’ve been doing it since I was young, various venues like school politics, church, theatre, classrooms, debate, interpretive reading.  Over the years I’ve come to believe that I have a talent for it, modest, but there.  I’m no Cicero or Richard Burton, but I can get my point across and most of the time make you feel glad you had the chance to listen.

It may not be the public speaking that has soured for me.  I really gave up the ministry years ago with a slight regression in the late 90’s, but I was not sorry when I left the Presbytery in 1992.  The connection with Groveland kept that spark glowing, but the ember has begun to die out, or has died out.  It’s a profession that never did fit me, that I entered through a series of bad choices, like the thug life.  I worked hard to make a place for myself in the church, but the tension and stress made me unhappy.

Now, finally, 20+ years after the fact, I’m ready to let it go all the way.