Fear Was My Co-Pilot

Summer                                                      Healing Moon

Had my pre-op physical this morning, two weeks before my surgery date of July 8th. On the way over I drove through Turkey Creek and Devil’s Creek canyons, a beautiful backway to the southern Denver suburb of Littleton.

I was afraid on the way over. I’ve been distracted and anxious, unsettled so far on this journey, but have not felt afraid. The fear crept in as I drove, not paralyzing, but evident. The beauty of the canyons with their pines and aspens, the exposed rock and the mountain sides climbing up for the road soothed me. That’s why I chose that route.

Those rocks, I thought, have been here long, long before me and will be here long, long after me. At an intellectual level I find that comforting. Today though the surgery was getting more and more real. The fact of cancer, too. The fear was not about the surgery or the recovery. It was about the results of the surgery.Will I be cured or will there be lingering doubts, cells that escaped into the lymph nodes or into the body?

98% of the time I believe Eigner will get all the malignant cells and the pathology report will relieve me. 2% of the time, I’m not sure. Today was/is all 2%.

Dr. Gidday, my internist who did my pre-op, was great. She referred her 82 year old father to Eigner when he was diagnosed. She trusts Eigner and so do I. Dr. Gidday’s nurse Katie, who had another patient and couldn’t check me in, stuck her head in the room and asked me how I was doing. There’s a lot of caring in that office and I feel it.

Fear seems natural to me, so I’m just reporting it. It’s not dominating me. At least not right now.

 

Gold Dust

Summer                                                             Healing Moon

pollen2300Gold dust has rained down on us since early June. It’s not residue from the Pike’s Peak Gold Rush, but pollen from the many pines. So fine that it passes through screens, it coats furniture, floors, computer screens, door sills and window sills. Yesterday evening we had a sudden, violent downpour of rain. The rain collected the gold dust, then spread it on our driveway in Fibonacci inspired whorls. Daughter-in-law Jen has nostalgia for the time of the pine pollen from growing up in North Carolina.

upstairs downstairs
upstairs, downstairs

About the same time we moved into what the weather folks identify as a more typical pattern, warming and drier. Our house, which has no air conditioning, stays cool in the mornings, evenings and nights, but afternoon can be a challenge. That fact has moved purchasing ceiling fans up on our priority list. Even before, Kate says, the new cooktop, oven refrigerator, and dishwasher. So, pretty important.

Finding the self difficult to nourish right now. Instead of the usual avenues I wrote about yesterday I read, watched a movie, did small chores. Still in distraction mode rather than introspection. It will pass.

Vega, Gertie and Kep all come up to the loft to keep me company. They come upstairs; they go downstairs. Busy.

 

Nourishing the Self

Summer                                                      Healing Moon

Finding myself driven into my Self, wanting to nourish my soul/Self, my inner life, needing to do that. Mood a bit down, usually precedes inner work, and I plan to follow that thread today.

I may use the intensive journal, read some poetry, look into some books on the inner life. Meditate. Maybe hike a bit.

The tomorrow wall has gone back up, closing off my dreams for the future. This is not bad. It focuses me on the here, the now, but I will not allow this wall to stand after July 8th. No matter what the final pathology report says I plan to regain my usual rhythm. Write. Translate. Explore Colorado. Learn new things. Go out with Kate, the grandkids.

An example of what’s going through my mind right now. In traffic on I-70 yesterday, headed east, away from the mountains, I looked at all the cars and trucks and buses filling lanes, six lanes altogether, going east and west. Unbidden came the thought that all these drivers, all the passengers will get taken off the board.

This traffic, filled with strangers on unknown journeys to unknown destinations, purposeful and not, was a moment in history. And history’s tide would wash over it, sweeping in its wake all the souls present.

This was not a dark thought, rather a descriptive realization, offered to me, I think, by my unconscious. Why? To place my current predicament in context. Am I going to die? Yes. And so are all these others. As have all the others who lived, say, 120 years ago.

Life is a tale told by fallible beings…

Summer                                                                        Healing Moon

It would be easy to assume that the world is worse off now than it has ever been. Bernie Sanders calls the various smaller wars going on around the world, “World War III in segments.” There was an article in today’s NYT called for a new period of black radicalism. Not difficult to see why. The gap between the 1% and the 99% has widened, it has become not a gap but a canyon, a Grand Canyon. We can see each other across the canyon’s width but the distance is so great that the people on the other rim appear faintly, if at all.

The ocean’s acidify, the average temperature goes up, the ice caps melt and Shell Oil heads to the Arctic to drill oil wells. When the price of gas goes down a bit, Americans shift away from fuel economy to bigger and faster. Some scientists contend we are in the midst of a sixth great extinction, this one anthropogenic.

And yes, the macro view, the perspective from above, has all these things and so many more to see: poverty, epidemics, drought and water crises, forest desertification.

Yet. Men and women, men and men, women and women fall in love, get married. Babies are born, joy coming into the world with them. Children learn about the Wizard of Oz or Tin Tin or Ganesh or the Monkey King. They play in alleys, parks, war zones, schools and forests. Dreams and hopes trail in their wake like the contrails from a jet.

Here’s what I believe. We are a destructive, adaptive, mean, resilient, loving, biased species. When we push ourselves too far in war, in climate change, in racism and sexism, in concentrations of wealth and power, we take corrective actions. Clumsy and too hopeful probably, ill thought out and filled with flaws, yet with enough right to get us past the current mess.

Life is not a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury signifying nothing. Life is a tale told by fallible creatures, full of love and misguided dreams, signifying everything.

A Paradox. (more on dealing with cancer. if this bums you out, skip it.)

Summer                                                                Healing Moon

I’m sleeping fine. I don’t feel that jittery, too many cups of coffee acidity in my stomach. I know what regular anxiety feels like, having been all too familiar with it for many years. Aches in my bunched up shoulders. Uncertain about my worth, what I should do. Waves of small fear about what now seem like the silliest things. For example, will the clerks at Best Buy demand to see my driver’s license if I pay by check? And refuse to let me use the check?

So it’s easy to assume that I’m not anxious. Easy for me to assume that. Yet, if I step back a minute, I’m not writing, I’m not doing my Latin. The tomorrow wall rises more often than it falls, not allowing my thoughts and dreams past July 8th. I am, in these significant ways, distracted, not feeling well, dis-eased.

I want to be cool about this, not degenerate into the life of a patient whose every waking moment is taken up with illness, with matters of medicine. That’s no life. That’s waiting for life. Cancer is, however, hard to ignore. This is one of the more difficult struggles in my life.

Trusting the diagnosis, the treatment feels both justified (I’m confident in the pathology, the physical findings, the PSA jump. I trust Dr. Eigner’s experience and his approach.) and necessary. No second guessing, I say to myself, at this point. You know what you’re up against, you’ve weighed the options and made a decision, just let all that play out. I’m doing that. That’s why I can sleep at night, why I don’t feel those frank expressions of anxiety.

I realize, of course, the irony of writing this. It focuses on the very thing I’m saying I want to let be, but I’m living in just that paradox. I feel confident about my decisions and about the probability of their resulting in a cure. At the same time there is this part of my body that no longer participates in the general keep Charlie healthy idea. All of these things persist and tumble around in me at the same time.

This comes, too, after an interstate move complicated by what felt like a very long time to sell our Minnesota house. Becoming integrated into the family here in Colorado has not been as easy as we had hoped either. It’s getting better, we’re all learning how to appreciate each others needs and feelings, but it’s not been what we imagined, at least not at first. It has been family, with joy and travail.

Laying this down as a record, an in this moment statement of how I am. Take it for what it’s worth.

Summer Solstice: 2015

Summer                                                                 Healing Moon

The longest day. The summer solstice. Is here.

Black Mountain Drive is a Great Wheel home. We closed on Samain, moved in on the Winter Solstice and celebrate our half year anniversary as Coloradans on the Summer Solstice.

While Beltane, the season just passed which began on May 1, begins the growing season, the Summer Solstice, with its abundant sun and gathering heat, is its zenith. Now the vegetables have taken root and begun to flourish, the corn and the wheat and the soybeans fill farmer’s fields, flowers brighten fields and gardens. Food is abundant for all living creatures.

Mother earth shows off her power to nourish and sustain. The shades of green become infinite, vibrant grasses shading to chartreuse aspens, light green iris blades shoot up next to gray green sage. The true transubstantiation on display everywhere, chlorophyll dominant in the landscape.

Spring fawns, calves, piglets, squirrels, fox kits, wolf pups all play and roll on the green. It is a season for life, for new life and old. This is the time when the Great Wheel reminds us that life, this one wild amazing life as Mary Oliver says, is a gift freely given and freely supported. Life is not always in its summer season, but when it is, rejoice!

It is in this season of life, of growth, of nourishment, of color that I will have my prostate surgery. Fitting, I think. Its purpose is to remove a multiplying threat to my life and what better season to excise it than the season of life at its most vibrant. My healing will gain from the sunshine, the flowers, the fresh foods available in this, the season of midsummer.

Mataam Fez

Summer                                                                  Healing Moon

Bernie Sanders we missed. The Mataam Fez serves 5 course meals, lots of hand washing, belly dancing and a generous amount of time between each course. Most of the food was very good, all eaten by hand, thus the handwashing, though the lamb brochette was overcooked.

The meal began with a salad and palate cleanser. The palate cleanser was shredded carrot with raisins in a slightly tart sauce. The salad had beets, spicy carrots, spinach, chopped tomatoes and onions and spiced potatoes all in individual portions. The third dish was phylo dough covered with powdered sugar and filled with a meat, couscous, spice mixture. Very tasty. The entree, mine lamb on a bed of pilaf with raisins and Kate’s shrimp in a delicate sauce, came next. After a long wait, during which the belly dancing happened, came mint tea, rose water for our hands and face, then a plate of cut fruit.

Across the way from us a toddler, a girl, got very involved with the belly dancing, swaying and twirling as the woman, older, took her out into the middle of the room to share the dance. This was a toddler friendly environment since guests sat either on pillows or hassocks at a low table.

We decided this was my father’s day meal out and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Until we had to get up from that position. But we managed.

Bibliotherapy

Beltane                                                                 Healing Moon

My father’s day present from Kate is a session with the bibliotherapists at the School of Life. I’ll write more about it after I’ve had my session, but I wanted to share here the questionnaire they send out in advance. Later, I’ll post my answers. Meanwhile, these are interesting questions to ponder.

I’m seeking their thoughts on a reading plan for the next few years. Feels like my reading has gotten chaotic and I’d like to put some more heft in it. We’ll see what the process produces.

Welcome to The School of Life Bibliotherapy Service.Prior to your consultation we would appreciate it if you could take a few minutes to answer the following questions.
Name: X
Contact no: X
instructions: Please send your answers to us at:bibliotherapy@theschooloflife.com

at least 24 hours before your consultation.

We look forward to speaking with you. PLEASE let us know 24 hours in advance if for some reason you can’t make your appointment. Failure to do so may result in forfeiting your session.

 

 

 

About your reading habits
How would you describe your relationship to books?

 

X
Did books feature largely in your childhood? X
Where do you like to read? X
Why do you read? X
In a bookshop, which section do you head to first? And then? X
Which books and authors have loved most? Least enjoyed? X
Do you like the challenge of a big fat tome or do you prefer something slim? X
Do you always finish the books you start? X
In your mind, what constitutes a “good read”? X
If there were such a thing as the perfect book for you, what would it be like? X

 

 

 

About you
How old are you?

 

X
Are you single, co-habiting, married, divorced? Do you have kids? X
What do you do for a living? for fun? X
What is preoccupying you at the moment? X
What are your passions? X
What is missing from your life? X
Where do you see yourself in 10 years’ time? X

 

Family Plots

Beltane                                                                 Healing Moon

A new seasonal event. Pine pollen gathers on the black surface of our driveway leaving yellow rings where water gathers in the driveway’s low spots. Sweep your hand across a piece of our Stickley furniture, palms and fingers come up yellow. We have only cross ventilation for cooling. Shake a branch of the ponderosa and a yellow cloud fills the air. All about sex of course. No wonder it’s beautiful.

Into Denver last night to check on Jon’s garden. Jon, Jen, Ruth and Gabe are in Chicago for father’s day, visiting Jen’s grandfather and grandmother, both great-grandparents. Her grandfather is 96 or so and his wife around the same age. Barb, Jen’s mom, flew out because her mom fell and broke a hip. She’s headed to a nursing home. error correction: Kate says Barb’s mother has a hair line fracture of the pelvis.

Jon grows quite a garden. He has grapes and currants, potatoes and herbs, tomatoes and carrots, peppers, strawberries and onions. Being a gardener of the arid west he has a drip irrigation system which delivers small bursts of water, around two minutes worth, to each plant via a plastic line connected to a small plastic stake with a watering head. Before they left he positioned garden furniture over his more delicate plants because hail can be a problem.

My job is to make sure the irrigation system works, then to make sure that none of the watering heads malfunction and finally to watch plants that might wilt in the heat. There are two main concerns, one is for the health of the plants, but the second is to make the sprinkler system doesn’t send them into another tier of water pricing by running too long. Colorado is not California, but water, especially municipal water, is still a precious resource and priced accordingly.

 

Bound Together

Beltane                                                                  Healing Moon

I thought they had to do with BDSM, but no. They are a type of type, well-known I imagine to my friend Mark Odegard.

“In writing and typography, a ligature occurs where two or more graphemes or letters are joined as a single glyph. Ligatures usually replace consecutive characters sharing common components and are part of a more general class of glyphs called “contextual forms”, where the specific shape of a letter depends on context such as surrounding letters or proximity to the end of a line.

By way of example, the common ampersand (“&”) represents theLatin conjunctive word et, for which the English equivalent is the word “and”. The ampersand’s symbol is a ligature, joining the old handwritten Latin letters e and t of the word et, so that the word is represented as a single glyph.[1]”  wikipedia

just-ligatures-mrs-eaves