Monthly Archives: October 2023

Asia, Fourth Phase, Friends, Judaism, Politics, Reimagine. Reconstruct. Reenchant., Travel, World History

Israel. A bit more

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Fall and the Harvest Moon

Thursday gratefuls: Israel. Blinken. Biden. Hamas. Hezbollah. Iran. Mark in Saudi. Diane. Tom. Rain, cold Rain. News. Korea. North Korea. South Korea. Seoah and her family. My boy. Mary in K.L. Songtan. Osan. Shadow Mountain. Starlink. Creative Audio. Newspapers. Justice. A many splintered thing. Spinal stenosis. P.T. Mary. Murdoch. Kepler and Rigel. Gertie and Vega. Kate, always Kate. Jon. Ruth. Gabe.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: P.T.

One brief shining: When an American Secretary of State says I come here as Jew and as a Jew who lost family in the Holocaust, when he says Israel will never stand alone, when the President of the United States declares the acts of Hamas evil and sends an aircraft carrier support group, when Jews lie dead in their home victims of ideologically sanctioned murder, then we know the enemy, the ones who hate Jews, hate Israel, and will not allow their own humanity to impede their actions.

 

Got a note from Expedia today. Your travel to Israel may be affected. Go to your airlines website. I did. Yep. Can cancel with no charge for travel between Oct. 7th and December 4th. Also. No flights until December 5th at the earliest. Well, that about does it for the trip. I’ll wait until Sunday to cancel my flight, see what others plan to do, but if we can’t fly there we can’t go. What that means for the Keshet trip? Uncertain. Probably postpone. Maybe cancel instead and rebook.

Having the trip planned. Hamas’ invasion. Reading Jewish newspapers. Learning about Golda Meir and other Israeli leaders during times of military peril. Studying Israel and Zionism for my next session with Rabbi Jamie on the 19th. Dancing with the Torah on Friday night as Hamas readied its fighters. Meeting yesterday morning with Geoff and others who also planned on this trip. An immersion in Jewish life. In the dark and lonely side of what it means to be a Jew. A heightened and deepened inner knowledge of the dream of Israel and its physicality, its critical importance for Jewish life in the diaspora.

Oh.

Like many, perhaps most of Beth Evergreen fearing too for the Palestinians in Gaza. For the also dream of a Palestinian state. For a permanent and viable solution to this awful, unjust life for them, for Israel, for Jews everywhere. For justice.

No to murder of civilians and the taking of civilian hostages. No to anti-semitism. No to terror. No to Hamas and Hezbollah and Iran in their hatred of Jews. No. No. No.

How to hold both of these feelings at such a time? How? Both necessary, both just, both compassionate. The world has its contradictions, its pain, its seemingly unresolvable conflicts. Look for a moment at our own country. Red and blue. MAGA and the rest of us. Ireland. China and the Uighurs. Afghanistan. Armenia. India. Sri Lanka. I suppose in each of these situations there are those torn by loyalties that seem irreconcilable.

Some must live with their hearts opened, their eyes clear, their minds knowing. Mustn’t they?

 

Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Judaism, Travel

Decisions

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Fall and the Harvest Moon

Wednesday gratefuls: Rain changing to Snow. Cool nights. Israel. Hamas. Hezbollah. Iran. The Middle East. Shirley Septic. Home. CBE. Reasons to go to Israel. Reasons to not go. Mike. Sandy. Jamie. Bill. Steve. The Kaufmans. Islam. Judaism. Christianity. Taoism. Buddhism. Hinduism. Zoroastrianism. Santeria. Voodoo. Animism. Paganism. The search for meaning, purpose. Rabbi Jamie, a wise man. Geoff of Keshet. Shiva. Showing up for those who mourn. The Bernsteins. Rebecca. Leslie. Kate, always Kate of blessed memory.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Lev, the heart/mind

One brief shining: A cardboard box of coffee, a tray with lox, capers, onions, tomatoes, bagels and schmear, blueberry muffins on the table, a zoom linked television screen above it, possible travelers to Israel around it, talking of fear of wanting joy of grandchildren who didn’t want them to go of money of changed purpose of options.

 

Geoff the Keshet rep who lives in Israel attended our 8 am meeting. Originally scheduled for last minute details, passing out luggage tags, gathering the excitement into a group moment. All changed by Hamas and its invasion of Israel during Simchat Torah. Geoff had a serious face, not the usual smiling travel host persona. He told of his three children in the reserves now called up. Two in safer places, one stationed near the Gaza strip. His voice broke. Stopped. He talked of his sixteen year old and his eleven year old at home. Torn between business and difficult family and political reality.

I felt sad for him. The conversation passed that feeling by though in favor of: My wife and I have talked. This is not the trip we want. We wanted to celebrate Israel, find joy. Also, Delta airlines has stopped flying to Ben Gurion. And. I have personal reasons, health challenges. My kids and my grandkids don’t want me to go and I can’t leave them with that worry. And. This doesn’t feel like the right time to be a tourist. Even my friends in Israel are saying don’t come. And. Our tradition is clear. We show up for those who mourn. Shiva. Showing up whether you know the mourner or not.

Some shift. Well, if we could help. If the trip could have a different purpose. And. I will not let fear make my decision. Terrorism is about instilling fear and I won’t let the terrorists have that win. (echoes of G.W.)

At some point during this subdued but intense conversation I asked to speak. Geoff, I know the business side of this is important, but I wanted you to know that I felt sad when you began the meeting. Wanted you to know that. Others followed. The conversation shifted again. Reasons to go, reasons still not to go.

I’m for showing up, I said. A few nodded. Others remained ready to cancel or postpone. Let’s set a date for making a decision. We did. This coming Sunday at 3 pm before an all congregational gathering to discuss the Israel/Hamas war.

Afterward I went to Mike who had mentioned prostate cancer as his health challenge. I have it, too. We talked a bit. Discovered that we’re both recently off all the drugs, now in the waiting period to see what affect all the treatments have had. Both of us to have blood work after the Israel trip. Life, and cancer, goes on.

 

Commentary on Religion, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Judaism, Poetry, Politics, Travel

Caverns Measureless to Man

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Fall and the Harvest Moon

Tuesday gratefuls: CBE. Israel Trip meeting this morning. Mary, my physical therapist. Exercises. Exercising. Jet lag. A day per time zone. 15 time zones on MST. Oh. Israel. Hamas. Hezbollah. Iran. Palestinians. Two-state solution. The Pacific. The Atlantic. They Yellow Sea. The Sea of Japan. The Korean Peninsula. The Islands of Japan. The Rocky Mountains. Shadow Mountain. Black Mountain. Conifer Mountain. The Night Sky. Darkness. The season of darkness. Samain. The Winter Solstice.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: The Night

One brief shining: Nash from the Schneider’s will include bagels, cream cheese, onion, tomatoes, and capers for us while we try to digest the rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in Ashkelon and Gaza and Tel Aviv, and civilians both Palestinian and Israeli dying in their homes as we assess whether our trip to Jerusalem is as over as we all imagine it is.

 

So. The news continues to shock, dismay. Photographs of bodies, burned out cars, wrecked apartment buildings, fences, military vehicles. I continue to have double vision. With sorrow and grief for Israel, its promise and its failure, its dead. With sorrow and grief for Gaza and Palestine, people herded into narrow spaces, walled off, virtually imprisoned. No winners here. Only the eye of history scanning back and forth for that moment when things begin to change. Will this be it? I certainly hope so. For the dream that is a Jewish homeland. For the necessity that is a Palestinian state. For both to be true and friendly.

The enmeshed politics of the U.S., Iran, Russia, even Ukraine now threaded more deeply into the bloodied tapestry of the current Middle East. We support Israel. We support Hamas and the Palestinians. We support our Sunni brothers and sisters. We support our Shia brothers and sisters. We support. But support really means we are willing to kill those we don’t. Or, provide aid and comfort while our proxies do it for us. This part of the world is a nightmare for all who call it home and for all who have interests there. Yet for those who call it home it is just that. Home. I feel linked in sadness with all those who care for these troubled lands. All.

It is strange to have a personal stake in these events. But I do. A couple of weeks in Israel beginning on October 25th. Doubt it now. Meeting at CBE this morning with a representative of Keshet, the Israeli travel agency organizing the group part of the trip. Probably will start to unwind. I didn’t buy travel insurance so I’m not sure what the financial impact of a cancellation will be for me. Whether the airline will let me have a refund or a credit. Also strange to consider personal finances while people are dying. I need to, but it’s still strange.

Have to go get ready for the 8 am meeting at CBE. Our Keshet rep lives in Jerusalem so this will be first hand about what’s happening there. Keshet sent an e-mail to all of us yesterday outlining the financial commitments they’ve made to relief work as an organization. The needs are great and if you feel like donating there are many opportunities.

 

Great Wheel, Health, Judaism, Reimagine. Reconstruct. Reenchant., Reimaging revelation, Science, US History, Wild Neighbors, World History

Consider Oneness

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Fall and the Harvest Moon

Monday gratefuls: Fat Bear Week. See this link. Rebecca in India. Mary in K.L. Mark in Hafir, Saudi Arabia. Me on Shadow Mountain. My son and Seoah and Murdoch in Songtan. Israel. Gaza. West Bank. Korea. Divided nations. Night Sky. Stars above and around the Lodgepoles. The coming darkness. A Mountain Morning. Aspen Torches, Trees of Ohr. The Tree of Life. Malkut to Keter. The Wildwood Tarot. Luke. Ginny. Jimmy. Murdoch, the silly. My son, the silly. Kate, who was also silly. Jon, who was not. Ruth. Gabe.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Fat Bear Week

One brief shining: A bear stands on a rock facing downstream, salmon climb the ladder of flowing water headed to their clan home to spawn, one tight powerful snap and the journey ends.

 

War. A son whose life lies in preparation and readiness for war. A nation, Korea, divided and still at war. Israel, my coreligionists fighting a war of their own creation. Oppression has a heavy price, paid too often, most often, in blood. Consider the violence of a nation that still relegates its native peoples to lands not wanted, depriving them of the lands that once sustained them. Consider the violence of a nation that systematically denies the vote, a decent education, good housing, well-paying jobs to persons descended from the enslaved. Consider a nation that denies an entire people, the Uighurs, even the crumbs of citizenship. Consider a nation, any nation, that allows its majority to wreck havoc on its minorities without conscience or care. Most nations.

Consider all these things. We are human after all, all too human. Jealous of what we already have, greedy for what we might get. Israel did not invent oppression. Nor did China. Neither did the U.S.A., even when slavery was legal. No. We humans find love, justice, and compassion often beyond our grasp even if in our individual hearts we might feel it. Collectively we protect our families, our clans, our regions, our skin color fellows, our nations. And in protecting, a noble and worthy action, deny others what they need, a base and evil result. This is the original sin of our species. To love those we prefer and exclude those who fall outside of our love’s sphere. A sad, pitiful narrowness to our vision.

Then consider the human body. Consider what the philosopher Alfred North Whitehead called the fallacy of misplaced concreteness. The often unfortunate result of a reductionist science that separates the heart as a consideration of medical care from the liver, from the gut, from grief and joy and stress and despair. That separates the teeth from the pancreas. The blood from the lungs. The thyroid from the feet. Treats each one as a thing sui generis when no. Cortisol bathes each organ, blood moves through and into and out of the lungs, the gut, the feet, the brain and into the kidneys. We are one.

Of course we can learn and know about the heart when we dissect it, image it, palpitate it, treat its actions with chemicals of our own devising. Of course. But how did the heart come to have that blocked vessel? That flapping valve? That enlarged chamber? How does the heart function as part of the oneness that is homeostasis? How is that homeostasis affected by the smile of a child? The sound of a jackhammer? The death of a loved one? The denial at every turn of opportunity?

More. Yes. My body is one. Yes, it is. But. It is one within a community, within an atmosphere. My body so individual and precious to me can last no more than a few breaths without the oxygen exhaled by plants nearby and faraway. My body so individual and precious to me cannot live more than a few days without food grown by farmers, caught by fisherman, sustained by healthy soil and oceans and skies. My body so individual and precious to me cannot last without the touch, the warmth, the smile, the greeting of others.

Our original sin. To misplace the apparent concreteness of our skin color, our tribe, our class, our nation as worthy of dominance over others. No. We are one. The Eternal One only knows unity. Only sees togetherness. Insists in its nature on love, justice, and compassion. It has ever been so, and has ever been denied. Our fault, our most grievous fault.

Health, Holidays, Judaism, Korea, Politics, Travel, World History

War

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Fall and the Harvest Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Israel. Hammas. War. Destruction. Shiva. Kali. People in crisis. Wild Neighbors who live with death and violence everyday. Palestinians. The One that includes all of these. A swirling chaos of intermingling realities. A Fall day. Cool night. A liminal time between growing season and fallow season. The season of harvest. Sukkot. All harvests everywhere. Sustaining our human family. Mabon. Samain. The final harvest festival and the Celtic New Year. Simchat Torah. Endings and Beginnings. We come to the end and find in it our beginning. (yes, Eliot)

Sparks of Joy and Awe: One World

One brief shining: Jimmy brought me my coffee in a shiny white ceramic cup tall and slender, set it on the polished pine table top along with a small pewter pitcher filled with cream while I gazed out the window at Bear Creek tumbling and splashing over the rocks in its bed as it flowed on its way to the South Platte carrying water from Maxwell Creek, Cub Creek, Blue Creek, and Kate’s Creek.

 

Learned in some reading yesterday that among jet lag’s symptoms is gastrointestinal upset. Oh. Well, not a Korean bug, then. A gutty reminder of the intricate dance between the second brain in our digestive system and the rest of the body. This jet lag was brutal. Lasted over a week upsetting my sleep, my mental acuity, and my tummy. Gonna seek out a different way of getting to and from Korea. Probably two steps. One to the West Coast. Rest. Then fly to Incheon. Reverse. Maybe even try the phased sleep plan which seemed too complicated before I left. And now feels a bit more approachable.

In my third day of p.t. guided exercises. Back to my workouts with no restrictions except: if it hurts, don’t do it. Kate gave this sort of advice often. I have a long road back from the detraining I visited upon myself and the pain occasioned by my spinal stenosis. On it though.

Mary, my physical therapist, wanted me to take note of my hip/back pain as I was out and about over the days after my first visit. Treadmill: 25 minutes at 2.5 mph (slow walk) at 2% incline-no pain. Dancing with the Torah-about 20 minutes of jumping and twisting and moving-no pain. 20 minutes walking into a mall (remember malls?) to buy sunglasses, walk back out-no pain.

The only thing new since that first visit is the exercise regime Mary gave me.

 

3 months ago I took out a subscription to Haaretz, an Israeli English language newspaper. Dad always said, read the local news. And, I do. Right now Haaretz is an invaluable resource for the conflict happening in Israel. Its opinion pieces, photographs, and on site reporting have given me a good, and I believe sound, overview both of the events of the last two days and the future implications of this surprise invasion.

The trip which I had planned may not occur. At least not now. My plane for Jerusalem leaves Denver on October 25th, two weeks and three days from today. Unlikely this will be resolved by then. See attached below a CBE response by Rabbi Jamie sent out today.*

 

*Dear Friends of Beth Evergreen,

Friday night at Beth Evergreen (CBE), we gathered in our beautiful sanctuary to celebrate the culmination of the High Holiday Season, dancing with the Torah and one another in honor of Shabbat and Simchat Torah.  Yesterday morning, with the news coming out of Israel, our holiday joy was shaken and our Sabbath peace shattered, all the more so for family and friends in Israel who have been embroiled in internal struggles for the future of Israel’s democracy.  This brazen and unprecedented attack on Israel was deliberately timed to coincide with the 50th anniversary of the Yom Kippur War.  Today, we were reminded that the war continues.  And the reverberations reach far and deep.

As many of you are aware, in just a few weeks, a group of us from CBE have been planning a trip to Israel – a 9-day tour through this ancestral homeland, and a bike ride to support environmental and peace efforts of the Arava Institute.  Exactly how this  brazen and unprecedented attack will impact those plans is too soon to say, but impact them it surely will.

 In the coming days and weeks, as we watch the situation closely, we will be working with our friends in Israel and partner organizations here in Colorado to discern how to best support Israel and one another through this difficult time.  In the meantime, please consider joining me at Beth Evergreen next week, on Sunday, October 15 from 4 – 5:30 PM for a special gathering of informative dialogue, mutual support, and prayerful action to ensure the safety and security of Israel and promote peace and justice in the region.  And for something you can do right now, you might also consider making a financial donation to support life saving and peace promoting organizations in Israel/Palestine, such as Magen David Adom at https://www.mdais.org/en/donation (Israeli version of the Red Cross).

Lastly, we at CBE echo the statement issued by Reconstructing Judaism and the Reconstructionist Rabbinical Association made earlier today.  We are indeed:

 “…horrified by today’s massive attack on Israel by Hamas. We condemn the attacks unequivocally and join in solidarity with the people of Israel on this harrowing and difficult day. The scope and magnitude of these attacks, intentionally conducted in the early hours of Shabbat and Simchat Torah, is on a scale not seen in many years. Over 250 Israelis have been killed, over 1400 wounded, and dozens of Israelis have reportedly been kidnapped and taken hostage by Hamas. We pray for the safety of all those taken hostage and call for their immediate release.

We hold the leaders of Hamas and other militant groups responsible for this senseless loss of life, and we demand international accountability for these outrageous war crimes. Today, thousands of families across Israel are terrified. We are scared for them. We are also scared for Palestinian families in the West Bank and Gaza. We know this violence will lead to more violence. Israel has already launched strikes in Gaza, and hundreds of Palestinians have been killed. This is a day of profound anguish and horror.

We support Israel’s right to defend itself in line with international law in the face of such violent and indiscriminate attacks. We pray for a swift end to this violence, and we hope that a slide into even further conflagration and suffering for Israelis and Palestinians can be prevented. When it is over, we recommit ourselves to working for a just and long-term solution.

With our fervent prayers for safety, security, a return of hostages, and peace for one and all.

Rabbi Jamie Arnold

 

 

Holidays, Judaism, Politics, World History

Oh

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Fall and the Harvest Moon

Saturday gratefuls: Simchat Torah. Sukkot. Dancing with the Torah. Holding the Torah. Ginny. Jamie. Dick. Ellen. Helen. Lisa. Elizabeth. Potlucks. Israel. Hamas. Palestine. Korea. My son, Seoah, Murdoch. Shadow Mountain. My wild Neighbors. Black Mountain. Golden Aspen. Lodgepoles. Ponderosas. White Pines. Bristlecone Pines.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Dancing with the Torah

One brief shining: Hugging the Torah mantle Helen danced in her flowing skirt, twirling as the rest of us went toward her, raising our hands and clapping, retreating and holding hands, stepping together as we circled her, her long braid flowing out in an ancient rhythm, then returning to her side.

 

Resonance. An hour or two after I left Beth Evergreen last night, Hamas struck southern Israel out of the Gaza strip. Rockets. Troops. Bulldozers. Street fighting. Hundreds wounded, not clear how many dead. At least forty Israelis. Felt a surge of emotion when I read this. Different from reading a news report and going, oh. More violence. Sigh. No this surge came from the joy, real joy I felt and shared with members of Beth Evergreen as we celebrated Simchat Torah, Rejoicing with the Torah, last night.

On the side of the sanctuary there was a smaller ark with children’s Torahs, some of them stuffed. A certain red headed 3 year old found a red stuffed Torah which he carried running and zipping between adult legs for the entire evening. Other, older kids had other toy Torahs that they held and imitated the adults.

The Torah scroll, gathered by a congregant into their arms as one would hold a large child, precedes a dancing line composed of all those in attendance who are able. Seven times around the sanctuary, each time around punctuated with a moment when the Torah bearer dances in the middle of the congregation which holds hands around them. In and out. Shouts and claps. That little red head ducking under arms and around legs holding his red Torah.

When all this dancing finishes several congregants have led the dance lines and twirled in the center hugging the Torah scrolls in their bright cloth mantle. Then we all take up prayer shawls and stand an arms length apart on both sides while Rabbie Jamie unrolls the entire scroll, or as much as we can hold using our hands covered by the prayer shawls so no skin touches the scroll itself. This evening we only got through the first two books, Genesis and Exodus.

Having previously read the last few verses of Deuteronomy Jamie then reads from the first of the five books which begins, Bereshit. The beginning. With the creation story. Another year’s cycle of Torah reading completed and another year’s begun.

As I wrote yesterday this has long been one of my favorite holidays. The exuberance, the smiles and laughter, the silliness, laying hands on the sacred. That is, each other and an important part of what binds us together. I’m still smiling.

Then. To read of the attacks. The missiles. Pictures of shrapnel, dead bodies, missiles streaking through the air toward Jerusalem. Knowing in 18 days I have a flight to Jerusalem. Knowing these are now in a way different from before my people. Knowing the moral and ethical conundrums. Oh.

Holidays, Judaism, Myth and Story, Original Relation, Reimaging revelation

Embodiment

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Fall and the Harvest Moon

Thursday gratefuls: Deep, vulnerable conversation. Healing. Colon back to on guard status and off active duty. Yay! Jet lag still dissipating. Blue day. Bright Sol. Green Lodgepoles. Scat in my driveway. Probably Fox. Olives. Simchat Torah. One of my favorite holidays. Dancing with the Torah. Friday: Forgot this yesterday. Mary, my physical therapist. Polio. Sister Kenny. Mary, my sister in Kuala Lumpur. Mark in Saudi. Seoah and my son in Korea. Diane in San Francisco. My close, yet so faraway family. Kepler. Kate, always Kate. Jon. Ruth, a young woman. Gabe. Rigel. My Star in the night Sky

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Friends in Colorado, good friends

One brief shining: A shiny blue Sky shone through the Bamboo mats on the Sukkah children’s hand prints on cloth decorating its slatted wooden sides, my Thursday mussar friends smiling as I came back after a six week absence.

 

Interesting. Yesterday I sat in the Sukkah with the other mussar folks, Rabbi Jamie giving me a hug when I sat down next to him. We began the conversation with a meditation as we always do. And I got this feeling of sitting in one for thousands of years. As if this moment, the one I inhabited also, simultaneously, inhabited other moments in serial regression. A sensation of at-one-ment. Sukkot is an ancient harvest festival, the sukkah supposedly similar to the temporary dwellings farmers used during the hectic last days of the harvest before the winter rains. Probably not originally Jewish in origin.

Jews, who incorporated this festival long ago-and Rabbi Jamie says it used to be the primary holiday, not Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, the Days of Awe-imagine these sukkah as also representing the temporary dwellings used by the Hebrew slaves during their forty years in the wilderness.

I love Sukkot and the holiday that immediately follows it, Simchat Torah, rejoicing with the Torah. Simchat Torah is tonight. I’m going even though it’s a second night out for me this week. During this holiday the Torah Scroll is removed from the Tabernacle, completely unscrolled, and the congregation, using prayer shawls to grip it, dances with the Torah. It marks the completion of the reading of the entire Torah in the old year and the beginning of the new year’s reading in Bereshit, Genesis.

Not sure why I find Sukkot and Simchat Torah so meaningful, but I have for several years. I love the physicality of them both. The sukkah and the unscrolled Torah. The dancing. Eating in the Sukkah. An embodied way of celebrating our connection to the holy, to the divine that manifests whenever we open ourselves.

Perhaps that’s it. The embodiment. The whole of me involved. Not just my head. I find the High Holidays very heady and so not as meaningful. Odd for me to say, I know. But maybe I need not an out of body experience of the sacred but an out of mind one. Take me out of the theological and the ethical and the political and let me dance with the Torah. Hey!

 

Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Health, Politics

Healing

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Fall and the Harvest Moon

Wednesday gratefuls: Sue Bradshaw. A quiet day. Discussing medical insurance with Julie Freshman. Alan. Tom. Diane. Joan. Marilyn. Irv. A bright blue Colorado morning. A cold night. Deep friendships. Agency. Loss of Agency. Contraction. Twins win! Baseball. Gabe. Ruth’s senior pictures. Songtan. My son. Osan. CBE. Ron. Rich. Jamie. Susan. Judy. Kate, always Kate.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: The power of conversation

One brief shining: The smell of coffee comes up from the kitchen, the computer screen is blank waiting to be filled with today’s words sent from my mind to yours, and the heat pump rattles along squeezing hot air from the cooler air outside and pushing it inside.

 

Ah. The refreshing feel of a therapeutic conversation. Got off zoom with my buddy Tom and I feel cranked up and ready to go. The good morning time. MVP tonight. A day of friends and depth. I need it. As Tom and I discussed, feeling off center, not quite with it, in a malaise offers fertile ground for the Well of Sorrows to rise and become your whole consciousness. Saying that out loud to a friend who understands? Healing. Thanks, Tom, and in advance, all you MVP’ers. Especially Rich who is bringing the whole meal tonight. Cheese enchiladas and fixings. Yay, Rich.

 

Tomorrow I begin P.T. at Berrigan P.T. in the Buchanan Rec Center in Evergreen. The first step on a way back from this back kerfuffle. Mr. Lee and the Korean orthopedist calmed down my flare but I need a plan for my back I can follow. P.T.’s a good start.

Today I call the Lutheran Spine Center. They’ll work up my back more thoroughly than my Korean folks did. What the Korean guy would have done eventually. Between the two, p.t. and the Spine Center, I’ll figure out a way to organize my workouts to make my back as strong as it can be.

There is, I know, a chance they’ll tell me not to go to Israel. Apparently long walks are not good for spinal stenosis. And Israel is one long walk after another. I’ll still go and stay at least through the conversion and the Jerusalem leg of the group trip. Might choose to come home then rather than complete the itinerary. We’ll see. This is why I hopped on this so fast after getting back. Want to give myself maximum options.

 

How bout that Matt Gaetz? He showed Amurica. What a petty, narrow-minded, weasel can do if he doesn’t get what he wants for Christmas. Oh, wait. This is the United States Congress. Right? Hard to identify. I suggest we put in a playground with a see-saw, a sandbox, and a slide. After all these are the people running the most powerful country on earth. They should have what they need to relieve the stress of it all.

Oh. And another aspect of this. Guess who Marjorie Tyler Greene’s only candidate for speaker is? Donald Trump. That’s right. The Donald, that old fraudster. Wonder if she plans to hire Rudy as his aide?

 

 

 

Feelings, Fourth Phase, Health, Shadow Mountain, Travel

More on the Well of Sorrows

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Fall and the Harvest Moon

Tuesday gratefuls: Retinal nerve stable. Pressures stable. Good glaucoma news. Dr. Repine. Driving Deer Creek Canyon Road on the way home. Flaming Aspen torches lighting the way. The way the Mountain Fall varies by altitude and terrain. Brooks Tavern. Not good, but familiar and at home. First workout. Training the body. Seeing Sue Bradshaw today for back consultation, a plan to stay healthy enough to travel. Well, healthy enough. The Measure of Our Age. An excellent book on aging in America. That colon. Still on duty after all these years.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Shadow Mountain beneath me. The Sky above me.

One brief shining: Deer Creek Canyon Road winds up from the high Plains into the Foot Hills following Deer Creek and the steep Canyon walls it has cut over millions of years of spring Snow Melt, Monsoon Rains, and steady, steady work; along the banks of the Creek the Willows and the Dogwood reflect back the golden light of the Aspens during this one short season when the Canyon road is its own torch light parade.

 

Back to my workouts. At last. Boy am I detrained. Weak and lacking stamina. Felt good to get back at it. Early days and slow, modest gains but that’s how comebacks work. I’ve done them before. This was an unusually long stretch of dormancy occasioned in part by travel, by allowing it to be that way, by my back issues, then the cold, then coming home. To live healthfully I know I need to keep up cardio, resistance with a focus on my core, balance, and flexibility. Over the years I’ve done well at the first three, not so much on the flexibility and that caught up with me. Workouts are mood lifters, too, and not working out can allow dark moods to deepen. Not trivial at all. The best and cheapest medicine. Then, good food.

Going to see a nurse practitioner today to get some referrals for an orthopedist, p.t. Given my spinal stenosis I need a care plan. One I can use from here on out to keep my back quiet and allow good walking, traveling. Have mostly done this sort of work with personal trainers or on my own. Need some professional help this time.

 

Still in a subdued, though not dark place. Not yet recovered. Not wanting to pin my current state on the Korea trip. Am I too old for this sort of travel? No. But if not how can I make the whole process more manageable. The hip and back pain and the cold might be one offs, too. Find a workout and flexibility regimen that calms down the back and I’ll be ready to go again. Good thing since I leave for Israel on the 25th.

Allowing the well of sorrows to have its say without succumbing to the invitation. There is a strength in saying yes to feelings that are not warm and fuzzy. That help us reorient, motivate ourselves. Owning, for example, my role in my weakened state lets me find my role in reversing it. Or, feeling fragile, even frail motivates me to work on diet, exercise, contact with friends.

 

 

 

Asia, Commentary on Religion, Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Health, Korea, Mountains, Politics, Shadow Mountain, Travel, Weather +Climate, Wild Neighbors

This and that

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Fall and the Harvest Moon

Monday gratefuls: A pink Cumulus Cloud over Black Mountain. The start of a new Day. A new life resurrected from the 1/60th death of sleep. Each Day a full book in the library of life. The vast wing dedicated to each life. Yours. Mine. The Mule Deer and the Butterfly. Rain. Fall weather this week. My son and his sweet note. Gabe. The Rockie’s game that wasn’t. Twins playing last year’s winner of the World Series in the playoffs. House cleaning today.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Life, the wonder and the miracle

One brief shining: Small drops of Water hit my deck this morning, taking the Mouse trap outside to make  an offering to the Ravens, the dead mouse would not come out.

 

Yes. When I got back it was late September and the Mice had made a new incursion. When I went to get my electric Mouse trap out, I noticed a blinking red light. The sign of a killed Mouse. ? Sure enough, in the worst decision of its short life, this particular Mouse had chosen the Mouse trap as its home.

I don’t like killing mice. It makes me sad, feel guilty, puts me in a category of human behavior I never aspire to. Yet my team that came to help me clean a couple of years ago made me get over it. Too much of a health risk. And, I know. I know. Hamburgers. Bacon. Chicken wings. Who ever said contradiction was not a part of life? Even so.

 

Slept well the last two nights. Colon less vigilant. Yay. Jet lag waning, as it will. Perhaps today, maybe tomorrow I’ll shake free of Korea’s Sun and return to the one under which I now live. These transitions go unremembered after a journey is over. Their price part of the experience like airfare and taxis.

 

Fall in the Rockies. A distinctive time here, one I’m glad I didn’t miss. The bugling of the Elk Bull’s searching for mates. Hyperphagic Bears tipping over garbage cans, raiding cars, going into houses after a portion of the 20,000 calories a day they need before their long nap. The Aspen’s gold, muted this year, against the evergreen of the Lodgepoles. Signs for snowplowing, ads. The Mountain Lions hunting for the straggling Mule Deer, the startled Rabbit. Skies as blue and as pure as new born Fawns, reflected in Mountain Streams and Lakes. The weather becoming more unstable, veering between heat and cold, changing. Nights that go into the electric blanket zone. Days that feel warm in the sun, cold in the shade. All of us, humans and wild neighbors, making sure we’re ready for the cold season that follows.

 

If you read the NYT, you will find in this morning’s edition an article about Bishop Joseph Strickland: A Texas Bishop Takes on the Pope. It’s rare that I have a personal connection to any stories featuring Catholicism coming of good Protestant stock and about to become a Jew. In this case though. Paul Strickland, Joseph’s older brother, is and has been a close friend of mine for over thirty years. He’s one of the Ancient Brothers who meet by zoom each Sunday morning.

Paul and all of us Ancient Brothers have a very different take on the world than Joseph. Yet. Not a surprise that Joseph is articulate, strong, and determined. Like Paul. Not a surprise that Joseph has catalyzed others. Like Paul and the 10,000 Friends of the Maine Coast which prevented a huge LPG terminal from taking over the tiny Maine town in which he lives. Even folks in the news have families.