Asia, Cooking, Family, Fourth Phase, Health, Politics, Travel

Now, not so other

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Thursday gratefuls: Natalie. Mussar. Luke and Leo. Ginny and Janice. Annie and Luna. Tara. Eleanor. Paul and Findlay. Jim Butcher, a summer’s entertainment. PSA. Testosterone. Kailie. Marny Eulberg. Dr. Buphati. Shadow, her mornings. Mine. The darkness increasing.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Western Medicine

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev. Strength of the heart. The inner strength to move forward. Courage.

Tarot: #0, The Fool (Druid Craft)

  • Optimism and trust: Have confidence that you have everything you need to begin this new phase. The Fool’s lack of baggage is a strength, not a weakness.
  • Living in the moment: This card encourages you to enjoy the process and worry less about the future. It’s a reminder to approach life with childlike wonder.
  • Embracing your inner eccentric: The Fool operates outside conventional rules and norms. Your unique approach to life is to be celebrated. 

One brief shining: Ate the last of the hard boiled eggs with a bit of the regenerative farming sourced dried steak, some mayonnaise, and a banana after I finished my workout, a leg and core day using exercises from Halle, who now works in Dallas, a bit of cardio, another full morning.

 

Health: In somewhat new territory. My PSA rose to .3 from .19. Not a huge rise, certainly not a doubling which always gets attention. Even so, it’s not the direction I want. Probably means another blood draw on Monday as a check, then another one 4-6 weeks later.

At some point, maybe now, I become the Fool on another stage of this eleven year long cancer path. The Fool reminds me to take even this possibility as part of the process. A part that does not suppress seeing the world with childlike wonder. Live until l die.

Mountain View Pain called and scheduled my lidocaine injections, October 1st and 2nd. Left side, right side. The lidocaine anesthetizes my lumbar nerves. Seeing if numbing those nerves stops my pain. That guides the upcoming nerve ablations on October 15th and 16th. Those ablations plus the butran patch should knock down most of my pain. May it be so.

a bit corny, yet…

I feel ok about all of this. Part of living with chronic pain and a terminal illness. I did choose ometz lev as my week kavannah knowing my PSA could change. Strength of heart, the inner strength to move forward. I needed it when I read that number yesterday. And, I had it. I did sit for a minute, looking out my upstairs window as a car went by on Black Mountain Drive, considering my alone but not lonely life.

 

Just a moment: The Chinese military Parade. Modi, Putin, Xi Jinping, and Kim Jong Un. A world without us. My son close by in South Korea. Seoah, too. And, the Jangs.

Asia used to seem so far away, so exotic, so other. Then Mary went to K.L. Mark to Bangkok. Kate, my son, and I to Beijing.  Mary to Singapore. My trip to Singapore, Bangkok, Angkor Wat.  Then my son to Korea where he met Seoah. Kate and I to South Korea and Singapore. Later, my son and Seoah to Singapore.   My trip to South Korea. Still far away, now not so other, though often still exotic.

 

 

Holidays, Humanities, Memories, Retirement

A Curse on All our Houses

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Wednesday gratefuls: Shadow of the morning darkness. Nerve ablations scheduled. Artemis. Mythic Quest. Apple TV. Tenderloin, sweet Corn, sliced Peppers. Lunch. All labor. Robots. A.I. The cloud. Desktop and laptop and handheld computers. Nividia. AMD. Intel. Spending on AI data centers. The environmental cost of AI. Life. Death. Mystery.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Tzelem elohim. All made of the same stuff.

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev. Strength of the heart. The inner courage to move forward. Courage.

Tarot:  #4, The Lord (Druid Craft Deck)

  • Stability and structure: Creating a solid, secure foundation for a project, family, or business. This card suggests a time to build and organize.

One brief shining: The inner world, a place of dreams and memories, emotions and intuition, Progoff’s inner cathedral, Jung’s shadow and the collective unconscious, the nefesh and the ruach and the neshama, where the outer world of materiality has no foothold, blends and develops our experience with our gifts, creating an I am.

 

Labor day: A bit late, but hey, I’m retired.

From my 50’s Indiana childhood I imprinted a steadfast rule. School starts the day after Labor Day and ends the day before Memorial Day. Anything else violates my understanding of a proper childhood. Colorado schools, for example, start in mid-August and end in mid to late May. Beep! Wrong. No kid should have to go back to school before the State Fair is done. I’m just sayin’.

Labor day returns our focus, however briefly, to labor unions, the working class, blue collar folks. The citizens of Alexandria, Indiana. My home town. Workers who made batteries and alternators at Delco Remy. Workers who made headlights and taillights for Guide Lamp. Who worked one of the three shifts: days, evening, nights. Yes, in that time General Motors required enough batteries and headlights to require factories that ran twenty-four hours a day.

No longer. What is the future of this kind of labor? Bleak. Even with red tie guy’s tariffs. The return of manufacturing to US soil? Unlikely in any substantial way. Global trade will not go away and the benefit (?) of cheaper labor will always land somewhere around the globe.

Then, of course. A.I. What will it do to the labor force? It may extend the leveled sites of Delco and Guide to paralegals,  lawyers, doctor’s offices, newsrooms, and classrooms. So called knowledge workers. No one really knows.

But, disruption for workers of all sorts has been the norm in the not free for all of capitalist economies. Whatever AI and robotics can do will shuffle the deck of work, of that I have no doubt. But how much? Hard to predict.

Work, if you recall your Bereshit, Genesis, is a curse laid on Adam and Eve for eating of the Tree of the knowledge of good and evil. A curse. We pretend it’s ennobling because we need to. We have to justify our need to leave a warm bed, a lover or spouse, the kids and the dog to, what, win bread? Move up, gain status? Do something worthwhile? Yes. A curse on all our houses.

 

Far Right, Greenhouse, Politics

Justice, compassion, and love

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Tuesday gratefuls:  Two ripe Cherry Tomatoes! Down the hatch straight from the Plant. Sweetness. Food from Artemis. A direct collaboration with Great Sol. Shadow, the dogged huntress. Mythic Quest. The last Dresden Files. A summer project. Reading. Teshuva. Returning to the land of your soul. A mussar curriculum.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Speaking in my voice

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev. Inner strength to move forward. Courage. Strength of the heart.

Tarot: Four of Wands, (Druid Craft Deck)

  • Home and stability: It often represents a new sense of security in your home life, such as establishing a new house or feeling a strong sense of belonging within your family or community.   Gemini

One brief shining: Nose filling with the pungency of growing Tomato Plants, my eyes went from left to right, seeing the green, fully formed Fruit on so many branches, yet no color, not a hint of redness until, on the far right, up toward Artemis’ ceiling, two plump round rednesses, the first food I’ve grown in over eleven years. Sweet.

 

Moving on:  These two books, The Violent Take It By Force and Conservatism Rediscovered, plus this previously cited article,  How Ivy League Admissions Broke America, help me understand a path beyond the cruelty and moral bankruptcy of the current Republican party.

In the Violent Take It By Force Matthew Stafford describes in detail the loose but nimble organization of the New Apostolic Reformation. Explaining how support for red tie guy could spread quickly and efficiently throughout fifty states. Ensuring crowds at his events, admiring, yeh, even worshipping this blasphemous secular savior.

From this I learn two very important things. 1. We’re being out organized at the grass roots level. Partly, I believe, because our message, the liberal to leftist message, has no clear, clean answer to N.A.R. memes like the Seven Mountains Mandate* or the need to make disciples of nations. 2. If we want to fight back, our message must be equally clear, cleaned of rhetoric, and distributed through core groups in all fifty states.

In Conservatism Rediscovered Hazony lifts up the critical importance of family and community. With which I agree. We have to find a way to embrace family and community from within the diverse, plural world we believe in. One way forward here is through Hazony’s third principle of Conservatism**, Religion.

Those of us in the religious world must reenter the political realm in force and visibly. We need to leverage our existing communities: synagogues, churches, diocese, temples, mosques, meditation and retreat centers, camps, non-profits and find ways to spread our message through and with them.

What is that message? That’s where the Atlantic article comes in. In it David Brooks analyzes an ironic twist in shifting Ivy League admissions from old families with money and legacy to a meritocracy based on grades and I.Q. Our education system, our families, and the rest of higher education slowly changed on the belief that only I.Q. could measure future success. Turns out that’s wrong. Other character traits like resilience, E.Q., courage, and persistence matter more, often much more.

Here’s the message: We want an educational system that trains all of our children in that life path most suited to their own skills and ambitions. We will support families as they figure out if their children want to be plumbers, electricians, scholars, artists, business leaders, entrepreneurs, or stay at home parents. We will work shoulder to shoulder with families as we make this shift from an elite focused on intellect to a nation focused on ability and desire.

Further, we will support local communities with the resources to ensure decent health, food, affordable housing, and public services.

I believe this simple message, perhaps it needs a snappy hook like the Seven Mountains Mandate, will win back the working class, fight the elitist slap conservatives now give us, and show a way forward based on justice, compassion, and love.

 

 

  • *National conservatism has, according to Hazony, five main principles:
  1.  Historical empiricism
  2.  Nationalism
  3.  Religion
  4.  Limited Executive Power
  5.  Individual Freedom

Hazony, Conservatism, p. 33-34

**The Seven Mountain Mandate is an evangelical Christian movement advocating for followers to exert influence and leadership in seven key societal spheres: religion, family, education, government, media, arts and entertainment, and business. Gemini

Cooking, Greenhouse, Health

The Sacred, always, everywhere

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Labor Day gratefuls: Labor unions. Working class Americans. Of all colors. AI. Productivity. Work. Leisure. Fertility. Births. Their decline in the U.S. Shadow, destroyer of towels. Right now. Artemis. Her heater. Kale and Spinach growing. Beets, too. Tomatoes fully developed. Need to mature. Carrots planted, waiting on the Garlic.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Great Sol + photosynthesis

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah:  Ometz Lev. Inner strength to move forward. Courage.

Tarot: A Celtic Cross spread on the question, what is my purpose in the next three months?

One brief shining: The acrid smell of Tomato Plants, the wavy swaying of Kale in a light breeze, the solid green of Spinach Leaves, Beets in their red and green push into the Soil and above it, Artemis supporting her children as they race the coming cold and waiting for the Garlic Cloves which need the cold to grow, a garden in miniature.

Artemis: The coming of fall brings the chance of frost, which all but the Tomatoes can weather. This vital connection to the Soil, to growing things, the miracle of photosynthesis. Yes, always yes. Living into the Greenman within. And, the Green Woman, too.

That moment each day when I go to the beds, see the growth, even from yesterday, Tomatoes hanging from sturdy Stalks. Next is sweet redness. The Kale and the Spinach should be enough for at least one salad. The Beet Leaves will help. Whether the Beet Root will swell in time I’m unsure.

Garlic, as I’ve written before, has a special spot in my heart. Plant it in the fall, harvest it in late spring. A contrarian.

 

Cooking: Yesterday I made my first complete meal in a while. Rare tenderloin with butter seared Morels, Corn on the Cob, and sliced Bell Peppers. Glad I have those soft rubber mats. They ease the standing.

Ate about half of the tenderloin and the Corn. All the Morels and Bell Peppers. Steak sandwich for Labor Day lunch.

 

Celtic Cross Spread:  Decided I would start having quarterly major spreads since cancer parses my life into blood draws every three months. Tomorrow. Again.

No expectations. Que serait, serait. Whatever will be, will be. The future’s not ours to see. A favorite song of my mom’s.

Yet. What about the next three months? Since these short windows, similar, it has occurred to me, to quarterly earnings reports for corporations, can mark significant change-though I hope they don’t; stable is good-I choose to see them as units of my life. Each different. Four seasons. Four quarters. My own Great Wheel.

The top right card of the staff, the four cards on the right, represents the likely outcome for this quarter if I pursue my creativity, the three of stones, and lean into those who offer me support and kindness in a gentle independent way, the queen of bows. My challenge, the crossing card, the two of arrows, represents, I think, slipping into melancholy due to the physical and occasional canine challenges I face. I suppose that’s where leaning into support comes in.

The outcome card seems apt to me. The Shaman, #1 of the major arcana. The Shaman in The Wildwood Tarot represents a deep connection to the natural world and ancestral wisdom. He is a mediator between the visible and unseen realms, using nature’s energy to bring healing, insight, and understanding to the community. Gemini

As the seasons change from harvest to fallow time and Holiseason commences my place, my spot in that change remains constant, one who sees the world both as it is and as it can be seen to be.

 

Poetry, Writing

Jane Kenyon

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OTHERWISE
by Jane Kenyon

I got out of bed
on two strong legs.
It might have been
otherwise. I ate
cereal, sweet
milk, ripe, flawless
peach. It might
have been otherwise.
I took the dog uphill
to the birch wood.
All morning I did
the work I love.
At noon I lay down
with my mate. It might
have been otherwise.
We ate dinner together
at a table with silver
candlesticks. It might
have been otherwise.
I slept in a bed
in a room with paintings
on the walls, and
planned another day
just like this day.
But one day, I know,
it will be otherwise.

 

Tell the whole truth. Don’t be lazy, don’t be afraid. Close the critic out when you are drafting something new. Take chances in the interest of clarity of emotion.

Be a good steward of your gifts. Protect your time. Feed your inner life. Avoid too much noise. Read good books, have good sentences in your ears. Be by yourself as often as you can. Walk. Take the phone off the hook. Work regular hours.

Jane Kenyon

Feelings, Great Wheel, Holidays, Mountains, Paganism, Plants, Shadow Mountain, Weather +Climate

The Springtime of the Soul

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Road trips. Telluride. Ouray. Silverton. Durango. Shadow, rising in darkness. Morning darkness. Electricity. Artemis. Tomatoes nearing maturity. Very cool morning. Authoritarian playbooks. 2025. May you grow old in interesting times. TV. Books. Computers. Mini-splits. Fall come early. Aspen gold. CBE. Gabe and Gordonzeo. Ruth in her sophomore year.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Bubble gum and baling wire

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah:  Ometz lev. Inner strength to move forward. Courage.

Tarot: Ten of Arrows, Instruction

Generational Wisdom:
The card emphasizes the transfer of knowledge from elders to youth, ensuring that traditional skills and wisdom are not lost.

 

One brief shining: Shadow is in the house, goes straight to her Nylabone Lobster, begins to chew with what dog toy makers call aggressive chewing, the kind that shreds toys made for softer dogs, ones whose chewing gentles the toys, treats them like Velveteen Rabbits, not Shadow for she demands resistance, counts on toughness.

 
 

Seasons: A cool morning. Forty-three. The greenhouse heater either can’t keep up or turned itself off. I’ll find out later this morning. These late August days and all of September mark a gradual transition from growing season weather to the bleakness of the fallow season. Sometimes cold, even frosty, sometimes warm.

 

Soon the Aspens on Black Mountain will begin to turn from green to gold. Jackie who lives above 9,000 feet in Bailey said they’d started to turn a while back where she is. Kenosha Pass, too, said a friend of hers. The whispered reports we share. Knowing seasonal change for what it is. Life-changing.

 

When to put on the Snow tires? Will my cold frames be done before the first frost? When will the Garlic come? Do the mini-splits need cleaning? How’s my supply of firewood? How about that first Snow? When will it come? Homes become refuges from the cold. Shadow loved the Snow in February. How will she react when it comes again? With delight, I imagine.

 

Mountain roads. Become more challenging. Technical. Call on forty years of Minnesota winter driving experience. When these Blizzaks lose their tread, I’m buying Hankook quiet studded tires.

 

Holiseason lies only a couple of months away. Starting on Samhain and running through the Epiphany. My favorite time of the year. Family and friends. Festive days and long cold nights.

 

But. Not yet. First the corn-pickers and the combines. Reaping the harvest as the mad colors of a Midwestern Fall bloom, red Sugar Maple leaves floating down, down onto Lakes and Ponds. Boaters heading out to see the colors on Lake Minnetonka. College football underway. Can the NFL be far behind?

 

I love this transitional time. A joy of living in the temperate latitudes where we have four seasons, more or less. And this change from the heat of summer to the crisp weather of fall? The best. All poignancy and anticipation.

 

As Rudolf Steiner said, the springtime of the soul. That’s why cheshbon nefesh fits so well here. An outer change enhances, encourages an inner one.
Commentary on the news, Dogs, Family, Health, Shadow Mountain

Tragedy grown from tragedy

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Shabbat gratefuls: Teshuva. Candles. Ellul. Morning darkness. Shadow, my sweet girl. Kate, always Kate. Artemis, aglow with her heater. Which also illuminates the Japanese lanterns. Cool night. Fog. Dew point. Humidity. Monsoon Rains. Winds. Great Sol still hidden by Mother Earth. My son. Seoah. Murdoch. Coffee. A morning delight.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: My son and Seoah

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei (and my mentor in it, Shadow)

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev. Inner strength to move forward. Courage

Tarot: Seven of Swords (Druid Craft deck)

  • Intelligence over Brute Force:

    Rather than aggressive action, the Seven of Swords advises using your intellect to navigate difficult situations smartly. 

  • Truth-Seeking:
    The card encourages looking beyond the surface and discerning the real truth of a situation, avoiding self-deception or being deceived by others.

One brief shining: Next week another blood draw, my quarterly instance of true high stakes testing, a titch of anxiety already making its way into consciousness, roiling slightly the calm waters of my inner world, while I go through the now well worn ruts of it will be what it will be, life is short and I’m old, a good run so far, wonder what happens in the new territory if and when I get there.

 

Cancer: Stable so far. PSA next week. I’ve responded well to androgen deprivation therapy ever since the last dose of my long radiation. Over six years. In other words Orgovyx and Erleada have kept my cancer in stasis through Kate’s illness, through my second visit to Korea, through my son’s taking command of his squadron, through Covid, through the deaths of Gertie, then Kate, Rigel, Kepler, and Jon, through my conversion, through adopting Shadow, through the building of Artemis. I bow my head to the scientists who developed them. True life savers.

When looked at from that perspective, gratitude comes unbidden. In this odd case looking backward soothes the soul, while anticipation stains it with worry. An important lesson in living in the moment, in this August 30th life, on this Shabbat.

 

Dog journal: Murdoch, now eight years old, rests a lot. Whenever my son and I talk, he turns the camera to the side or under his desk and there lies a sleeping tan and white Akita, happy with the people he loves.

Murdoch has traveled more than most people. From his birth home outside Macon, Georgia to the not so far away Warner-Robbins AFB. From there to Colorado, Conifer. From Conifer to Loveland. From Loveland to Hawai’i. From Hawai’i to Korea. Throughout he has loved the Sun in spite of his breed’s double coat developed for the Mountains of the Akita prefecture in Japan where Akita’s originated.

Shadow sleeps on her “place.” A towel I’ve been training her to lie on until I say “free” and throw a treat away from it. A calming spot. Good for anxious dogs like her. Shadow Mountain is my place. Hers, too.

 

Just a moment: Read about Robin Westerman’s diaries. Her secret plans and grievances. Her admiration for school shooters. Her careful planning. Makes me sad, not even angry. Tragedy grown from tragedy.

Dogs, Far Right, Greenhouse, Politics, US History

I weep

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Friday gratefuls: Shadow, up at 3 am today.  Cool morning. Rain. Low Wildfire Risk. Rabbi’s Akiva, Hillel, and Green. Tzelem elohim. Humans made in (or, I would say, as) the image of God.  Mindy. Fran. Sally. Janet. Marilyn. Going to Yellowstone, as she does around this time of year.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Elk Creek Fire

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Rodef Shalom. The desire to generate well-being for ourselves and others.

Tarot: The King of Vessels, Heron

  • “Patience and introspection: Like the Heron who waits patiently in a stream, this card represents the lesson of trusting divine timing and acting with intention rather than impulsivity.
  • Emotional mastery: The Heron stands on one leg, stable and grounded even as the water flows around it.”  Gemini

One brief shining: A jolt this morning from Pulsepoint, an app that tracks emergencies nearby, this time with a 6:50 AM notice of a vegetation Fire at 8540 Black Mountain Drive, a mile or two from home, Elk Creek Fire has rolled on it; and, I sit here feeling blessed by all the Rain we’ve had, imagining, hoping it will make this Fire easier to suppress. Ah. Closed 7:02 AM.

 

Dog journal: Shadow up early. I played with her a bit, let her out, and went upstairs. Made coffee. Cleaned my Shabbat candle holders using boiling Water. Plucked a can of Water from the fridge.

When I got downstairs, Shadow wanted back in. She came in and I thought, I’ll go back to sleep. Around 3:45. Yep. Didn’t get up until it was time to feed her.

Shadow has begun to spend more time inside as the days have grown rainier and cooler. Right now she’s resting, her head on her paws. 3 AM was early for her, too. Thank god.

 

Artemis: Watered the Soil in the east facing raised bed, got out two seed packets, both Carrots. Tiny. Delicate. Difficult to handle. Back in Andover I would have used Sand to help me place them in the Soil. No Sand here. Had to rely on my fingers. Which means. Thinning later.

This may seem like an odd time to plant, but my guidance from Seed Savers Exchange says this an excellent time for Carrots. They grow through Frost and become sweeter as the Air and Soil grows cooler. We’ll see. I also have row covers for them that I’ll deploy over the weekend. Shelter from the harsh early Light of Great Sol.

 

Just a moment: I’ve never seen a government so committed to harming its own citizens. (later. Well, of course I have. Geez. Hitler’s Germany. Stalin’s Russia. Mao’s China.) Guess I should say a U.S. government. Reduce/and or eliminate food support. Gut the CDC and cut back on vaccine access. Make women’s health priority low when they’re most vulnerable. Cut  emergency response capability at the same time as reducing the capacity of the Weather services to warn us of emergencies. Put the National Guard and the Military to the task of occupying major cities. Not to mention the knock on effects of defunding basic science.

During all this why not convene a three hour televised cabinet meeting where our Dear Leader received praise from high ranking sycophants. I weep.

 

 

Memories, Men, Minnesota, Politics, US History

The Heart of Darkness

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Thursday gratefuls: Paul. Tom. Naps. Shadow and her new Lobster. Nylabone. Her morning sweetness. Rain. Smoky the Bear on Low Fire Danger. The family in South Korea. In Denver. In Saudi Arabia. In Australia and K.L. In Longmont. Planting Carrots. Watering them in. Irv and his new tooth. Rumi. Kabir. Hafiz. Basho. Cold Mountain. Woodsworth. Coleridge. Blake. Keats. Thomas. Harris. Berry. Whitman. Dickinson. Oliver. Collins.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Mountain roads

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Rodef Shalom. The desire to generate well-being for ourselves and others.

Tarot: The Greenman, #4

  • “Creative fertility and power: Represents the abundant, regenerative, and vibrant male energy of the natural world.
  • Assertive dynamism: Signifies a new and thriving drive to begin projects, relationships, or new ways of living.”  Gemni

One brief shining: Morning darkness now greets Shadow and me as we get up, covering the back yard, obscuring the Lodgepoles, the Aspen, Artemis except for the glow of her heater, all the toys and socks and bones Miss Shadow has relocated there, the Bluebells, the invasive Mullein, those sawtooth Ground Covers I don’t recognize; the same darkness obscures 10,000 foot Black Mountain as if its Massif did not exist. What does your inner darkness obscure?

Minneapolis: Forty years of my life were spent in Minnesota. Most of them in the Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul. Cities I loved and love still. My heart breaks for Minneapolis, a city with flaws, sure, it’s a place inhabited by humans; yet also a place committed to a diverse citizenry, to beauty, to citizen based planning, to justice for all. Does it fall short on all of these? Of course it does, yet no more so than most, probably a lot less.

And yet.  The Annunciation shooting yesterday. Melissa Hortman and her husband. Gilbert. Only two months ago. George Floyd.

When I worked on the West Bank in Minneapolis, I conducted a memorial service for a long time resident of that then counter-cultural neighborhood. I don’t remember her name, but I remember how she died. Standing on the back porch of her second floor apartment, a bullet so spent it didn’t pierce the back of her coveralls, did shatter her heart. She had children, was in her early thirties.

I do remember saying in my eulogy for her that the only sense that could be made of her death lay in one place. The need to control gun violence. I don’t recall if we did anything about that then, I suspect not or I would remember. This would have been in the mid-nineteen eighties.

In the same time period I counseled a young Black man from the Southside to give evidence against a known gangster. Another young Black man who had committed more than one murder, his violence keeping others in the neighborhood quiet.

To show the complexity. He did give evidence. And then was harassed at his job at a local pharmacy by friends of the man he’d sent to Stillwater Prison. So often that he eventually moved to Florida. His sister, too.

I think of Joseph Conrad’s, The Heart of Darkness.

Family, Judaism, Shadow Mountain, Talmud

Who is Wise?

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Wednesday gratefuls: Travis and Taylor, sittin’ in a tree. Shadow’s and mine early, early morning. Morning darkness. Natalie. The leash. More and more easy. Slowly. Marilyn and Irv. Salam. Deion. Heidi. Rider. Lilla. Liks. Professor Luke. Chemistry. Metamorphosis. Ovid. Aeschylus. Homer. Virgil. Euripides. Heraclitus. Anaximander. Thales. Rhodes. Delos. Crete. Mykonos.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Philosophy

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah:  Rodef Shalom. The desire to generate well-being for ourselves and others.

Tarot: The Queen of Vessels, Salmon

“The Queen is loving, kind, and nurturing. Her spirit draws on honesty and self-sacrifice to bring joy to others, even in dark situations.”

One brief shining: Salmon, in Celtic lore, swam upstream and rested in clear, deep Pools shaded by Hazel Trees; Hazelnuts would fall into the Pool and the Salmon would eat them, gaining all the wisdom of the world. Whoever ate of this Salmon also gained that wisdom.

 

“Who is wise? Those who learn from every person.” Sage Ben Zoma in the Perkei Avot, The Wisdom of the Fathers.  One of the things I needed to learn from Rabbi Jamie was appreciative inquiry. Coming out of philosophy as a discipline argument was not only expected; it was a blood sport. Take no prisoners, follow the logic wherever it went.

Appreciative inquiry challenges this cut and thrust style by emphasizing that you can learn from anyone (see Zoma), even those with whom you disagree. You might see it as a turn from a toxic masculine need to dominate to an appreciation for the Salmon who gives of herself wholly to gain wisdom.

This was/is a difficult lesson for me. Case in recent point? Conservatism Rediscovered by Yoram Hazony. On my first read I ticked box after box. Wrong. Stupid. Unsupported. Post hoc propter hoc. Mean. Narrow minded.

I’ve reflected that in the critiques I’ve offered so far. And I stand by them and the ones I’ll make over the next few days. However, appreciative inquiry has me pausing, asking myself, what have I learned from Hazony?

OK. I’m struggling here. I disagree with him like I disagreed with Charlie Haislet, a fellow Woolly Mammoth of a conservative turn. When Charlie and I went after each other, it was knives and pistols. Over time I grew to dislike the person in me who showed up in those arguments. Needing, oh so much, to be right. Or, rather, left. A lot of heat. Little light.

Can I approach Hazony in a different spirit? Not giving up a necessary challenge to ideas with which I disagree while saying, oh, good point, that adds to my understanding.

His emphasis on family, for instance. Its centrality in the life of an individual and of the nation. The need for collective action to strengthen and support families. I disagree with his patriarchal, father knows best assumption about families, yet life has shown me that family ties are the first and most basic spot for each of us. That home is a bigger word than we often credit.

If Hazony would only loosen up, he might see that family can have, must have many different valid expressions.

Yet that family is core to the human experience? I’m down with you, Yoram.