Imbolc Anniversary Moon
Fire danger continues high. If we don’t get some moisture, it’s gonna be a long summer. Weather5280 says some changes may be ahead in the latter part of March. Go moisture. Bring on some cold. Let it snow.
Still moving files from banker’s boxes to translucent plastic bins. Finished all my art files yesterday, today I plan to begin on my writing files which make up most of the rest. When I finish this work, I’ll have left only reorganizing and hanging art plus a final pass at organizing the books within categories. It’s funny, but I can feel a growing excitement about having the loft as I envisioned it two plus years ago, a sort of liberation and consolidation of potential. Ready to move forward with writing and Latin and other work facilitated by this amazing space Kate found for me.
Had Sky Country Pump come out on Friday to replace the water pressure tank that had, according to Geowater, gone bad. I called Sky Country because Geowater tried to install things I hadn’t ordered, then ordered a pressure tank replacement, $1,000 plus. I stopped all of it, having them only install the acid-buffering system I wanted. Our water has a ph of 5.2. They were unhappy; I was mad.
So, I wasn’t surprised when the Sky Country Pump folks said, “No problem with the water pressure tank. We’d love to sell you a tank, but you don’t need one.” Ah.
Now that means that either Geowater is incompetent or flat out lied. I’m thinking the latter. In effect it would have been theft had I said yes, go ahead with the tank. It would have appeared to be my decision, but it would have been based on alternative facts, as KellyAnne might say.
The full anniversary moon lit up our way home from Bistro Colorado. It was the 27th time we’ve celebrated our wedding day and it was peaceful, funny, thoughtful. With flowers and chocolate.
Inner conflict continues, pushing me toward something, something undefined. Anxiety is an attempt to manage fear, to consider options to too many things. It reaches out tentatively to a world not yet born, scanning for threats, anticipating. In a long ago day I imagine the anxious folks lived longer (aka, passed down more of their genes), always seeking out the predator that might be behind the next curve in the path, wanting to get to the berries just as they ripened so they wouldn’t be gone, obsessively keeping tabs on water. In this world of grocery stores and police, water from the tap? Not so necessary.
Been experiencing an unusual phenomenon, at least unusual for this period of my life. I’m getting all kinds of anxiety signals from my body. My feet rest on their balls when I sit down, not flat on the floor. My gut has this hollowed out and tense feeling. My jaw has small aches as my teeth grind unconsciously. This also makes facial muscles twitch. When lying in bed, I’ll notice that my legs are tight, again an unconscious contraction.
When we had our couple’s escape at Tall Grass Spa, I first noticed these physical manifestations. It was during the relaxing, 80-minute massage. As certain parts of my body felt calmer, others, like my legs and my gut, began to call out to me.
A follower of gestalt therapy in my younger days, I learned to pay attention to and interrogate a jumpy stomach, a twitchy foot. These are not disconnected from my psyche, to the contrary they reveal things occurring in that inner world hidden from view to my Self.
