Dogs, Family, Far Right, Friends, Greenhouse, Health, Mussar, Politics, US History

Demented

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Kavod. Honor. Ruth, up here. Her college days. Work, loans, heavy homework load: Biology, Chemistry, Statistics. Sociology. Gabe, a senior. Warmer. Sadly. Our demented President. Chipocalypse Now. Our frustrated and divided nation. Shadow. The keeper of our safety. Lorikeets and Magpies in Melbourne. Murdoch, aging.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Shadow’s teeth, her front paws

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev. Strength of the heart. The inner strength to move forward.

Tarot: #8, Strength. Reversed (Druid Craft)     The reversed Strength card can appear when you question your own courage and abilities. You may feel a sense of inadequacy or that you are not strong enough to handle a situation. Gemini

One brief shining: Sometimes the Tarot arrows down into the psyche, turning over carefully placed rocks, uncovering hidden fear, masked feelings, and there is the possibility that after my visit to Dr. Buphati, I could be shaken, wondering how to gather my ometz lev for the ancientrail ahead. I read it though as a caution, a yellow flag. Be aware and ready.

 

Dog journal: Put my head on my pillow, drifting, ready to party with Morpheus when, “Grrr.” A low rumble from Shadow’s chest. Then, “Bark.” Muffled. A moment. “Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark.” Something had invaded her territory. Go away. Go away. Get thee hence. Vamoose. In urgent Dog. Right by my ear.

She quieted and I did slip away from the surly bounds of consciousness. Another night of Shadow’s.

 

Artemis: Nathan has two hernias. And a fair amount of work to finish. The cold frames. Lapping the Cedar. Some rubberizing of window spaces and doors. He plans to supervise another carpenter to get Artemis finished, ready for winter.

More and more Tomatoes, mostly still green. Some carrots peeking through. Kale tall and proud. Spinach and Beets, too. I’m having a lot of fun. A dormant part of my life revivified.

 

Family: Ruth came up last night. Needed a change of scenery. And, she missed me. We saw each other on Kate’s birthday, August 18th. Not since then.

She’s maturing so fast. Holding down two jobs. In her first semester of her new, STEM focused major, Integrative Physiology. Talking about cations and anions. Naming molecules. Also looking ten years ahead, all focused on an M.D.

This is still the week of Jon’s yahrzeit, challenging for both her and Gabe. A bit raw. As well she might be. Yet. Living on her own. Managing multiple sources of money. Handling the work of a difficult major. On her own for good now.

 

Friends: Saw Alan for lunch at the new Cow in downtown Evergreen. Passable. He was on his way to a 2:30 curtain call. Annie Gets Her Gun on Center Stage. He shaved his always beard, sacrificing for his art.

 

Just a moment: Chicago will find out why it’s called the Department of War. Jesus. Chipocalypse. I love the smell of deportations in the morning. That loose tether to reality has come unmoored and we’re left with a scared little man who wants to play army with U.S. citizens as the other side. Will no one rid us of this troublesome nut job? Impeach him and be done with him.

Dogs, Far Right, Garden, Greenhouse, Politics, Shadow Mountain

Flat Wrong

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Shabbat gratefuls: Shadow, huntress of Chipmunks. Chewer of bones. Cool Morning. The Night Sky. Orion. Leo. Aquarius. Scorpio. Aries. Taurus. Cancer. Virgo. Ursa Major. Draco. Cassiopeia. Betelgeuse. Rigel. Vega. Polaris. Antares. Andromeda. Milky  Way. Webb. Hubble. Stellarium. Venus. Mercury. Mars. The Goldilock Zone. Rilke.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Tara

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev. Strength of the heart. The inner strength to move forward.

Tarot:  Ace of Cups, (Druid Craft)

  • Creativity and inspiration: As the start of the Cups suit, this card indicates a burst of creative inspiration. This may manifest as a new artistic project or an influx of new ideas.  Gemini

One brief shining: Eleanor bounded down the stairs, her yellow groomer’s bandana flying, Shadow raced ahead, out the back door, around Artemis, and the two of them ran circles, and circles, and circles chasing each other as Tara and I sat down to coffee, talking, and talking, and talking.

 

Dog journal: Shadow had a big day yesterday with Eleanor’s visit and Dr. Josy coming by for her Lepto booster. I kept Eleanor while Tara went grocery shopping. When Shadow and Eleanor came inside, they both laid down, having worn each other out.

Dr. Josy played with Shadow, got her to come up and snuggle, pinched her skin, and pushed the needle in. Vaccine complete. Chew on that RFK.

Gardening: Earlier Tara and I toured Artemis. It’s a short tour, but still. She found my Kale, Spinach, and Beets impressive and enjoyed one of the ripe Cherry Tomatoes. She asked me to come over and help her think through her garden, which she describes as less successful than my tiny one.

Touchy. As Tol, Jamie’s son, used to say often: comparison is the thief of joy. Even so. Gardening is something I know about so I can help her identify what she wants to achieve and how best to get there. Sort of exciting.

She wants me to give her a January 28th birthday present, help planning her 2026 garden. Again. Exciting. I spent a bit of time yesterday ordering seed catalogs.

 

Health: See Buphati on Monday, check out this latest twist. Get a plan for how to move forward. Calm. Yet also aware this could be a new inflection point.

Back to working out regularly. Cardio and resistance. Hitting over 150 minutes of moderate exercise each week. I feed Shadow at 6:30 am, then head up stairs for my pre-workout routine: a cup of coffee, two puffs of albuterol, a piece of fruit. After that on to the treadmill and either a leg and back day or an upper body day. That timing allows me to finish somewhere between 7:30 and 7:45, plenty of time for any 8 am calls, or appointments in the morning.

 

Just a moment: Occupying forces. Federal forces, under the cover of ensuring ICE actions, cutting down crime. Libertarians, unite against this invasion, this government overreach. Show our would-be tyrant that even his allies know this is wrong. Flat wrong.

 

 

Art and Culture, Dogs, Family

Time softens

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Friday gratefuls: Kathy, who died. Tara and Eleanor. Cool morning. Shadow of the morning. Sit, down, touch, place. Wag tail. Jump up. Outside. The dark as friendly, fecund, mysterious, soothing. Jon. Who died three years ago yesterday. Ruth and Gabe. Kate, always Kate. Mussar on love and repulsion. Natalie. Her Dog needing stitches. Tom’s ISS photograph share of sprites during a Thunderstorm.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Acceptance

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

The concept is deeply connected to the natural world. A person practicing acts like water, which flows around obstacles rather than confronting them directly. It is the idea of working with the natural current of life, not against it.  Gemini

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev. Strength of the heart. The inner strength to move forward.

Tarot: Eight of Wands, reversed. (Druid Craft Deck)

The card’s core message is to slow down and reassess your path. It often appears when you are feeling frustrated with a lack of forward movement, or when a flurry of chaotic activity is causing more harm than good.

One brief shining: Shadow stands beside her Mule Deer yearling friend, far enough away to not get kicked, close enough to offer companionship and receive it in return; this yearling has come several times over the last couple of weeks though I’ve not seen again the joyful race she and Shadow ran that first day she was here.

 

Dog journal: Shadow gets her Lepto booster today from Dr. Josy. Who thinks Shadow is “perfect.” Me, too. Most of the time.  Eleanor went to the vet last week to see about excessive licking. Findlay had to go to the emergency vet in Bangor because he yelped and yelped. Possibly a pinched nerve.

We care for our Dog companions as we would our children. Which unveils the relationship possible between this world of human artifice and the world of Wild Neighbors. No, not feeding nor domesticating them, but recognizing their inherent worth and dignity as fellow creatures of the One.

Why I give money to the Colorado Wildlife Sanctuary. Where maliciously kept Wild Animals go to live out their lives in a setting and with food as close as possible to their original home.

 

Bought this at last year’s show

Family time: Yesterday was the third Gregorian anniversary of Jon’s death. His yahrzeit was on the 1st since the Jewish calendar follows the moon, not the solar calendar of Pope Gregory XIII.

As time can do, the memory of Jon has softened. Letting the awful struggles of the divorce and his reaction to Kate’s death fall away, his difficult life now sad rather than frustrating.

I remember especially his approach to art over most of the time I knew him in Colorado. When riding his bike or driving his car, Jon looked for pieces of metal run over, sifted to the sided of the road like flotsam on a Maine beach. Things discarded or fallen off, then transformed by the weight of passing trucks and cars, Rain and often rust. A piece of a fender from a wreck. Beer cans. A piece of sheet metal.

He would stop and pick them up, take them home, clean them up, ink them in various colors, then run them through a manual print making press. I have several of these pieces and find them beautiful.

 

 

Asia, Cooking, Family, Fourth Phase, Health, Politics, Travel

Now, not so other

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Thursday gratefuls: Natalie. Mussar. Luke and Leo. Ginny and Janice. Annie and Luna. Tara. Eleanor. Paul and Findlay. Jim Butcher, a summer’s entertainment. PSA. Testosterone. Kailie. Marny Eulberg. Dr. Buphati. Shadow, her mornings. Mine. The darkness increasing.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Western Medicine

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev. Strength of the heart. The inner strength to move forward. Courage.

Tarot: #0, The Fool (Druid Craft)

  • Optimism and trust: Have confidence that you have everything you need to begin this new phase. The Fool’s lack of baggage is a strength, not a weakness.
  • Living in the moment: This card encourages you to enjoy the process and worry less about the future. It’s a reminder to approach life with childlike wonder.
  • Embracing your inner eccentric: The Fool operates outside conventional rules and norms. Your unique approach to life is to be celebrated. 

One brief shining: Ate the last of the hard boiled eggs with a bit of the regenerative farming sourced dried steak, some mayonnaise, and a banana after I finished my workout, a leg and core day using exercises from Halle, who now works in Dallas, a bit of cardio, another full morning.

 

Health: In somewhat new territory. My PSA rose to .3 from .19. Not a huge rise, certainly not a doubling which always gets attention. Even so, it’s not the direction I want. Probably means another blood draw on Monday as a check, then another one 4-6 weeks later.

At some point, maybe now, I become the Fool on another stage of this eleven year long cancer path. The Fool reminds me to take even this possibility as part of the process. A part that does not suppress seeing the world with childlike wonder. Live until l die.

Mountain View Pain called and scheduled my lidocaine injections, October 1st and 2nd. Left side, right side. The lidocaine anesthetizes my lumbar nerves. Seeing if numbing those nerves stops my pain. That guides the upcoming nerve ablations on October 15th and 16th. Those ablations plus the butran patch should knock down most of my pain. May it be so.

a bit corny, yet…

I feel ok about all of this. Part of living with chronic pain and a terminal illness. I did choose ometz lev as my week kavannah knowing my PSA could change. Strength of heart, the inner strength to move forward. I needed it when I read that number yesterday. And, I had it. I did sit for a minute, looking out my upstairs window as a car went by on Black Mountain Drive, considering my alone but not lonely life.

 

Just a moment: The Chinese military Parade. Modi, Putin, Xi Jinping, and Kim Jong Un. A world without us. My son close by in South Korea. Seoah, too. And, the Jangs.

Asia used to seem so far away, so exotic, so other. Then Mary went to K.L. Mark to Bangkok. Kate, my son, and I to Beijing.  Mary to Singapore. My trip to Singapore, Bangkok, Angkor Wat.  Then my son to Korea where he met Seoah. Kate and I to South Korea and Singapore. Later, my son and Seoah to Singapore.   My trip to South Korea. Still far away, now not so other, though often still exotic.

 

 

Holidays, Humanities, Memories, Retirement

A Curse on All our Houses

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Wednesday gratefuls: Shadow of the morning darkness. Nerve ablations scheduled. Artemis. Mythic Quest. Apple TV. Tenderloin, sweet Corn, sliced Peppers. Lunch. All labor. Robots. A.I. The cloud. Desktop and laptop and handheld computers. Nividia. AMD. Intel. Spending on AI data centers. The environmental cost of AI. Life. Death. Mystery.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Tzelem elohim. All made of the same stuff.

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev. Strength of the heart. The inner courage to move forward. Courage.

Tarot:  #4, The Lord (Druid Craft Deck)

  • Stability and structure: Creating a solid, secure foundation for a project, family, or business. This card suggests a time to build and organize.

One brief shining: The inner world, a place of dreams and memories, emotions and intuition, Progoff’s inner cathedral, Jung’s shadow and the collective unconscious, the nefesh and the ruach and the neshama, where the outer world of materiality has no foothold, blends and develops our experience with our gifts, creating an I am.

 

Labor day: A bit late, but hey, I’m retired.

From my 50’s Indiana childhood I imprinted a steadfast rule. School starts the day after Labor Day and ends the day before Memorial Day. Anything else violates my understanding of a proper childhood. Colorado schools, for example, start in mid-August and end in mid to late May. Beep! Wrong. No kid should have to go back to school before the State Fair is done. I’m just sayin’.

Labor day returns our focus, however briefly, to labor unions, the working class, blue collar folks. The citizens of Alexandria, Indiana. My home town. Workers who made batteries and alternators at Delco Remy. Workers who made headlights and taillights for Guide Lamp. Who worked one of the three shifts: days, evening, nights. Yes, in that time General Motors required enough batteries and headlights to require factories that ran twenty-four hours a day.

No longer. What is the future of this kind of labor? Bleak. Even with red tie guy’s tariffs. The return of manufacturing to US soil? Unlikely in any substantial way. Global trade will not go away and the benefit (?) of cheaper labor will always land somewhere around the globe.

Then, of course. A.I. What will it do to the labor force? It may extend the leveled sites of Delco and Guide to paralegals,  lawyers, doctor’s offices, newsrooms, and classrooms. So called knowledge workers. No one really knows.

But, disruption for workers of all sorts has been the norm in the not free for all of capitalist economies. Whatever AI and robotics can do will shuffle the deck of work, of that I have no doubt. But how much? Hard to predict.

Work, if you recall your Bereshit, Genesis, is a curse laid on Adam and Eve for eating of the Tree of the knowledge of good and evil. A curse. We pretend it’s ennobling because we need to. We have to justify our need to leave a warm bed, a lover or spouse, the kids and the dog to, what, win bread? Move up, gain status? Do something worthwhile? Yes. A curse on all our houses.

 

Far Right, Greenhouse, Politics

Justice, compassion, and love

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Tuesday gratefuls:  Two ripe Cherry Tomatoes! Down the hatch straight from the Plant. Sweetness. Food from Artemis. A direct collaboration with Great Sol. Shadow, the dogged huntress. Mythic Quest. The last Dresden Files. A summer project. Reading. Teshuva. Returning to the land of your soul. A mussar curriculum.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Speaking in my voice

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev. Inner strength to move forward. Courage. Strength of the heart.

Tarot: Four of Wands, (Druid Craft Deck)

  • Home and stability: It often represents a new sense of security in your home life, such as establishing a new house or feeling a strong sense of belonging within your family or community.   Gemini

One brief shining: Nose filling with the pungency of growing Tomato Plants, my eyes went from left to right, seeing the green, fully formed Fruit on so many branches, yet no color, not a hint of redness until, on the far right, up toward Artemis’ ceiling, two plump round rednesses, the first food I’ve grown in over eleven years. Sweet.

 

Moving on:  These two books, The Violent Take It By Force and Conservatism Rediscovered, plus this previously cited article,  How Ivy League Admissions Broke America, help me understand a path beyond the cruelty and moral bankruptcy of the current Republican party.

In the Violent Take It By Force Matthew Stafford describes in detail the loose but nimble organization of the New Apostolic Reformation. Explaining how support for red tie guy could spread quickly and efficiently throughout fifty states. Ensuring crowds at his events, admiring, yeh, even worshipping this blasphemous secular savior.

From this I learn two very important things. 1. We’re being out organized at the grass roots level. Partly, I believe, because our message, the liberal to leftist message, has no clear, clean answer to N.A.R. memes like the Seven Mountains Mandate* or the need to make disciples of nations. 2. If we want to fight back, our message must be equally clear, cleaned of rhetoric, and distributed through core groups in all fifty states.

In Conservatism Rediscovered Hazony lifts up the critical importance of family and community. With which I agree. We have to find a way to embrace family and community from within the diverse, plural world we believe in. One way forward here is through Hazony’s third principle of Conservatism**, Religion.

Those of us in the religious world must reenter the political realm in force and visibly. We need to leverage our existing communities: synagogues, churches, diocese, temples, mosques, meditation and retreat centers, camps, non-profits and find ways to spread our message through and with them.

What is that message? That’s where the Atlantic article comes in. In it David Brooks analyzes an ironic twist in shifting Ivy League admissions from old families with money and legacy to a meritocracy based on grades and I.Q. Our education system, our families, and the rest of higher education slowly changed on the belief that only I.Q. could measure future success. Turns out that’s wrong. Other character traits like resilience, E.Q., courage, and persistence matter more, often much more.

Here’s the message: We want an educational system that trains all of our children in that life path most suited to their own skills and ambitions. We will support families as they figure out if their children want to be plumbers, electricians, scholars, artists, business leaders, entrepreneurs, or stay at home parents. We will work shoulder to shoulder with families as we make this shift from an elite focused on intellect to a nation focused on ability and desire.

Further, we will support local communities with the resources to ensure decent health, food, affordable housing, and public services.

I believe this simple message, perhaps it needs a snappy hook like the Seven Mountains Mandate, will win back the working class, fight the elitist slap conservatives now give us, and show a way forward based on justice, compassion, and love.

 

 

  • *National conservatism has, according to Hazony, five main principles:
  1.  Historical empiricism
  2.  Nationalism
  3.  Religion
  4.  Limited Executive Power
  5.  Individual Freedom

Hazony, Conservatism, p. 33-34

**The Seven Mountain Mandate is an evangelical Christian movement advocating for followers to exert influence and leadership in seven key societal spheres: religion, family, education, government, media, arts and entertainment, and business. Gemini

Cooking, Greenhouse, Health

The Sacred, always, everywhere

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Labor Day gratefuls: Labor unions. Working class Americans. Of all colors. AI. Productivity. Work. Leisure. Fertility. Births. Their decline in the U.S. Shadow, destroyer of towels. Right now. Artemis. Her heater. Kale and Spinach growing. Beets, too. Tomatoes fully developed. Need to mature. Carrots planted, waiting on the Garlic.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Great Sol + photosynthesis

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah:  Ometz Lev. Inner strength to move forward. Courage.

Tarot: A Celtic Cross spread on the question, what is my purpose in the next three months?

One brief shining: The acrid smell of Tomato Plants, the wavy swaying of Kale in a light breeze, the solid green of Spinach Leaves, Beets in their red and green push into the Soil and above it, Artemis supporting her children as they race the coming cold and waiting for the Garlic Cloves which need the cold to grow, a garden in miniature.

Artemis: The coming of fall brings the chance of frost, which all but the Tomatoes can weather. This vital connection to the Soil, to growing things, the miracle of photosynthesis. Yes, always yes. Living into the Greenman within. And, the Green Woman, too.

That moment each day when I go to the beds, see the growth, even from yesterday, Tomatoes hanging from sturdy Stalks. Next is sweet redness. The Kale and the Spinach should be enough for at least one salad. The Beet Leaves will help. Whether the Beet Root will swell in time I’m unsure.

Garlic, as I’ve written before, has a special spot in my heart. Plant it in the fall, harvest it in late spring. A contrarian.

 

Cooking: Yesterday I made my first complete meal in a while. Rare tenderloin with butter seared Morels, Corn on the Cob, and sliced Bell Peppers. Glad I have those soft rubber mats. They ease the standing.

Ate about half of the tenderloin and the Corn. All the Morels and Bell Peppers. Steak sandwich for Labor Day lunch.

 

Celtic Cross Spread:  Decided I would start having quarterly major spreads since cancer parses my life into blood draws every three months. Tomorrow. Again.

No expectations. Que serait, serait. Whatever will be, will be. The future’s not ours to see. A favorite song of my mom’s.

Yet. What about the next three months? Since these short windows, similar, it has occurred to me, to quarterly earnings reports for corporations, can mark significant change-though I hope they don’t; stable is good-I choose to see them as units of my life. Each different. Four seasons. Four quarters. My own Great Wheel.

The top right card of the staff, the four cards on the right, represents the likely outcome for this quarter if I pursue my creativity, the three of stones, and lean into those who offer me support and kindness in a gentle independent way, the queen of bows. My challenge, the crossing card, the two of arrows, represents, I think, slipping into melancholy due to the physical and occasional canine challenges I face. I suppose that’s where leaning into support comes in.

The outcome card seems apt to me. The Shaman, #1 of the major arcana. The Shaman in The Wildwood Tarot represents a deep connection to the natural world and ancestral wisdom. He is a mediator between the visible and unseen realms, using nature’s energy to bring healing, insight, and understanding to the community. Gemini

As the seasons change from harvest to fallow time and Holiseason commences my place, my spot in that change remains constant, one who sees the world both as it is and as it can be seen to be.

 

Poetry, Writing

Jane Kenyon

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OTHERWISE
by Jane Kenyon

I got out of bed
on two strong legs.
It might have been
otherwise. I ate
cereal, sweet
milk, ripe, flawless
peach. It might
have been otherwise.
I took the dog uphill
to the birch wood.
All morning I did
the work I love.
At noon I lay down
with my mate. It might
have been otherwise.
We ate dinner together
at a table with silver
candlesticks. It might
have been otherwise.
I slept in a bed
in a room with paintings
on the walls, and
planned another day
just like this day.
But one day, I know,
it will be otherwise.

 

Tell the whole truth. Don’t be lazy, don’t be afraid. Close the critic out when you are drafting something new. Take chances in the interest of clarity of emotion.

Be a good steward of your gifts. Protect your time. Feed your inner life. Avoid too much noise. Read good books, have good sentences in your ears. Be by yourself as often as you can. Walk. Take the phone off the hook. Work regular hours.

Jane Kenyon

Feelings, Great Wheel, Holidays, Mountains, Paganism, Plants, Shadow Mountain, Weather +Climate

The Springtime of the Soul

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Road trips. Telluride. Ouray. Silverton. Durango. Shadow, rising in darkness. Morning darkness. Electricity. Artemis. Tomatoes nearing maturity. Very cool morning. Authoritarian playbooks. 2025. May you grow old in interesting times. TV. Books. Computers. Mini-splits. Fall come early. Aspen gold. CBE. Gabe and Gordonzeo. Ruth in her sophomore year.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Bubble gum and baling wire

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah:  Ometz lev. Inner strength to move forward. Courage.

Tarot: Ten of Arrows, Instruction

Generational Wisdom:
The card emphasizes the transfer of knowledge from elders to youth, ensuring that traditional skills and wisdom are not lost.

 

One brief shining: Shadow is in the house, goes straight to her Nylabone Lobster, begins to chew with what dog toy makers call aggressive chewing, the kind that shreds toys made for softer dogs, ones whose chewing gentles the toys, treats them like Velveteen Rabbits, not Shadow for she demands resistance, counts on toughness.

 
 

Seasons: A cool morning. Forty-three. The greenhouse heater either can’t keep up or turned itself off. I’ll find out later this morning. These late August days and all of September mark a gradual transition from growing season weather to the bleakness of the fallow season. Sometimes cold, even frosty, sometimes warm.

 

Soon the Aspens on Black Mountain will begin to turn from green to gold. Jackie who lives above 9,000 feet in Bailey said they’d started to turn a while back where she is. Kenosha Pass, too, said a friend of hers. The whispered reports we share. Knowing seasonal change for what it is. Life-changing.

 

When to put on the Snow tires? Will my cold frames be done before the first frost? When will the Garlic come? Do the mini-splits need cleaning? How’s my supply of firewood? How about that first Snow? When will it come? Homes become refuges from the cold. Shadow loved the Snow in February. How will she react when it comes again? With delight, I imagine.

 

Mountain roads. Become more challenging. Technical. Call on forty years of Minnesota winter driving experience. When these Blizzaks lose their tread, I’m buying Hankook quiet studded tires.

 

Holiseason lies only a couple of months away. Starting on Samhain and running through the Epiphany. My favorite time of the year. Family and friends. Festive days and long cold nights.

 

But. Not yet. First the corn-pickers and the combines. Reaping the harvest as the mad colors of a Midwestern Fall bloom, red Sugar Maple leaves floating down, down onto Lakes and Ponds. Boaters heading out to see the colors on Lake Minnetonka. College football underway. Can the NFL be far behind?

 

I love this transitional time. A joy of living in the temperate latitudes where we have four seasons, more or less. And this change from the heat of summer to the crisp weather of fall? The best. All poignancy and anticipation.

 

As Rudolf Steiner said, the springtime of the soul. That’s why cheshbon nefesh fits so well here. An outer change enhances, encourages an inner one.
Commentary on the news, Dogs, Family, Health, Shadow Mountain

Tragedy grown from tragedy

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Shabbat gratefuls: Teshuva. Candles. Ellul. Morning darkness. Shadow, my sweet girl. Kate, always Kate. Artemis, aglow with her heater. Which also illuminates the Japanese lanterns. Cool night. Fog. Dew point. Humidity. Monsoon Rains. Winds. Great Sol still hidden by Mother Earth. My son. Seoah. Murdoch. Coffee. A morning delight.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: My son and Seoah

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei (and my mentor in it, Shadow)

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev. Inner strength to move forward. Courage

Tarot: Seven of Swords (Druid Craft deck)

  • Intelligence over Brute Force:

    Rather than aggressive action, the Seven of Swords advises using your intellect to navigate difficult situations smartly. 

  • Truth-Seeking:
    The card encourages looking beyond the surface and discerning the real truth of a situation, avoiding self-deception or being deceived by others.

One brief shining: Next week another blood draw, my quarterly instance of true high stakes testing, a titch of anxiety already making its way into consciousness, roiling slightly the calm waters of my inner world, while I go through the now well worn ruts of it will be what it will be, life is short and I’m old, a good run so far, wonder what happens in the new territory if and when I get there.

 

Cancer: Stable so far. PSA next week. I’ve responded well to androgen deprivation therapy ever since the last dose of my long radiation. Over six years. In other words Orgovyx and Erleada have kept my cancer in stasis through Kate’s illness, through my second visit to Korea, through my son’s taking command of his squadron, through Covid, through the deaths of Gertie, then Kate, Rigel, Kepler, and Jon, through my conversion, through adopting Shadow, through the building of Artemis. I bow my head to the scientists who developed them. True life savers.

When looked at from that perspective, gratitude comes unbidden. In this odd case looking backward soothes the soul, while anticipation stains it with worry. An important lesson in living in the moment, in this August 30th life, on this Shabbat.

 

Dog journal: Murdoch, now eight years old, rests a lot. Whenever my son and I talk, he turns the camera to the side or under his desk and there lies a sleeping tan and white Akita, happy with the people he loves.

Murdoch has traveled more than most people. From his birth home outside Macon, Georgia to the not so far away Warner-Robbins AFB. From there to Colorado, Conifer. From Conifer to Loveland. From Loveland to Hawai’i. From Hawai’i to Korea. Throughout he has loved the Sun in spite of his breed’s double coat developed for the Mountains of the Akita prefecture in Japan where Akita’s originated.

Shadow sleeps on her “place.” A towel I’ve been training her to lie on until I say “free” and throw a treat away from it. A calming spot. Good for anxious dogs like her. Shadow Mountain is my place. Hers, too.

 

Just a moment: Read about Robin Westerman’s diaries. Her secret plans and grievances. Her admiration for school shooters. Her careful planning. Makes me sad, not even angry. Tragedy grown from tragedy.