Category Archives: Travel

Mud Bugs

Imbolc                                                                           Anniversary Moon

20170318_161305
During the meal

Ruth’s play was in the morning. We drove into Aurora to see it, close to the airport. We came back home, took a nap then went out for the No No’s crawfish boil. Well, I went for the crawfish boil and Kate came along as what the reservation referred to as a non-crawfish eater. We got there early so we saw the waiters put together four tops into single long tables, five of them.

These tables got covered with thin plastic from a roll and the plastic got covered with what I’d expected, newspapers. After we were seated, waiters first brought small plastic containers of fried dill pickles. Wonderful. Next came gloved waiters with metal containers of boiled potatoes and slices of andouille sausage. They simply threw potatoes and sausage slices on the table for each person. Andouille is spicy and a real New Orlean’s treat.

Finally, in the same metal containers came the crawfish, red and spicy from their hot water bath. The waiters tipped the containers over in front of us and small mounds heaped up. The room quieted as we all got to work.

Early in our marriage Kate and I went to New Orleans for a continuing medical education event. It was notable for three reasons. The first and least significant was seeing a grumpy Jerry Lewis pushing a stroller off a plane at the airport. His family looked equally happy.

Having been to New Orleans several times in the years prior to our trip, I wanted to see the area around New Orleans rather than stay in the narrow area of the French Quarter, so I drove out to the bayous. It was April. When I found a bayou that was also a state park, I pulled in, found the boardwalks and walked out into the swampy grassland. Much to my delight and surprise the bayou was full of blooming irises. They were everywhere.

IrisLouisianaHeaderw.title3

The alligators were just waking up, too. I saw several, moving slowly, trying to get their reptilian blood warmed up. They hunt nutria in this area and there were plenty of these large rodents. The alligators, however, were not up to speed and I witnessed many clumsy attempts by sleepy, cold alligators to catch one. The nutria, far faster than their not yet fully present predators, escaped easily.

20170318_154231The last and most memorable moment of the trip came after I decided to drive around in cajun country and find an authentic cajun restaurant. I found one in a small town somewhere not too far from the bayou. I went in, it was in the middle of the afternoon, and I was the only diner in the place. A waitress came over and I told her I wanted to try some authentic cajun food. What would she recommend?

I don’t recall the other things she brought, but she did bring me a plate of boiled crawfish, fresh from the bayou. And proceeded to peel them and feed them to me. It was odd, intimate and unexpected, but seemed perfectly natural.

As I pinched off the tails of No No’s mounded crawfish and leveraged the meat out of them by breaking the small chitinous bands that held it in, I thought of her, that small restaurant, and all those irises.

 

 

In, but not of

Imbolc                                                                    Valentine Moon

“Solitude” by Marc Chagall, 1933
“Solitude” by Marc Chagall, 1933

In, but not of. Yesterday at mussar, a spiritual/ethical system within the Jewish tradition, I had a complex moment. We were discussing truth and mercy, the relationship between them. To compare mercy and truth I defined mercy as suspension of judgment. Truth though is a sword and a judgment. If that’s correct, then not all truth is merciful. Rabbi Jamie started to dispute that, but had to leave for his daughter’s wisdom teeth extraction.

truth

In the conversation that followed afterward my use of the sword metaphor was identified as a Christian trope, “I come to not bring peace, but a sword.” I’ve been working very hard over the last year to bracket my mode of theological thinking while absorbing a Jewish style of thinking. This requires effort because though I abandoned Christianity over 30 years ago, my seminary education and professional life as a clergyman reinforced my already strong Judaeo/Christian enculturation. Christianity does still define much of how I think and feel about matters religious and secular.

While that’s obvious, I still felt a flush of embarrassment at being identified with a New Testament informed concept. That flush, as mussar teaches, is an important signal about where growth is necessary.

On the way back up to Shadow Mountain I described my situation to Kate as similar to traveling. “I love to go where the culture is very different from mine, where I’m a stranger. It helps me know my self.” Kate’s journey is one of a Jew deepening her own understanding, her own identity as part of a religious world. My journey is closer to travel, “It feels like I’m traveling on the inside.” In this case no geographic change is necessary for me to be a stranger.

travel

This inner travel exhilarates me, but it also confuses and, in a mild sense, scares me. I’m trying to gain wisdom and personal growth from Beth Evergreen while maintaining my own identity as a pagan. But, not only that. My life as a pagan is not divorced from my enculturation as a Christian. I’m a cultural Christian in many ways. That means I encounter many shocks to my inner world, shocks that wake me up, like a Zen koan, but that also and in the same instance disorient me.

Yaowarat
Yaowarat

It’s like being on Yaowarat Road in Bangkok on a weekend night. On Friday and Saturday night the sidewalks of Bangkok’s Chinatown, of which Yaowarat is the main street, fill up with small restaurants, often two tables, some chairs and a street vendor style kitchen with a wok, propane tank, utensils and a stack of plates and soup bowls. What food are they serving? I don’t know. I speak neither Thai nor Mandarin. Many people are there who do understand the food offerings, how to eat them, but I’m not one of them. I’m in, but not of the street life. Observing, yes, eager to learn, yes, but even after sampling some food and gaining some insight, I will go back to my hotel, a stranger traveling through.

I’m grateful to the folks at Beth Evergreen and Kate for putting up with my being present as a stranger and an inner traveler. A long journey, barely begun.

Becoming Coloradan

Imbolc                                                             Valentine Moon

No snow. 10% humidity. A spate of small wildfires. Result: stage 1 fire restrictions put in place by Jeffco. In February. Winter has gone on holiday and the outlook for summer is fiery if we don’t get more moisture in March and April. Like death, oddly, I find the whole wildfire possibility invigorating. It motivates me to work on our lodgepole pine and aspen and it brings those of us who live in the mountains closer together. A common foe.

fire-danger-high

Lodgepole pine. From our bedroom window I look out and up to a jagged line of tree tops. On clear nights stars often align with the tops of the pines, giving them a decorated for Christmas look. Sometimes stars also align with branches further down, emphasizing the effect.

Which reminds me. Monday or Tuesday night of this week I looked up at the pines, as I often do before falling asleep. They were lit up with what looked like lightning bugs. What? The phenomena went on for quite a while, small specks of light flashing off and on. Obviously in February and up here on Shadow Mountain, no lightning bugs. A complete mystery.

4967746281_0271777ffe_z

While waiting on the Rav4 to finish its spa day at Stevinson Toyota I spent some time considering whether I had become a Coloradan yet. First thing. I left my prostate and significant portions of my left knee in Colorado. No flowers in my hair, but I do feel I’ve contributed in a meaningful, whole body sort of way. Then, living in the mountains. Everyday. Learning the rhythms of mountain seasons, the wildlife, the vast number of hikes and sights and sites to see. And we’re adjusted to life at 8,800 feet. A very Colorado and mountain thing.

Of course, there are Jon and Ruth and Gabe, family links to schools, synagogues, sports, life as a child in the Centennial State. Our dogs, too, as Dr. Palmini said, are mountain dogs now. Due to the spate of mountain lion attacks on dogs in the last month or so, I have a concern for their safety that is very Coloradan. In fact I bought a powerful LED flashlight and have my walking stick ready to do battle with a mountain lion if necessary.

Kings Peak near us 4 pm 12 29
Kings Peak near us 4 pm 12 29

Congregation Beth Evergreen, in addition to a religious community, also facilitates ties with people who live up here like the lawyer, Rich Levine, we saw last week. Many others, too. Kate has integrated quickly thanks to the two sewing groups she belongs to: Bailey Patchworkers and the Needlepointers. Her integration helps mine.

The town of Evergreen has many great restaurants, as does Morrison. We go to jazz and theater in Denver.

0

That’s the coming to Colorado part of the story. The other is my relationship to Minnesota. Of course there are the Wooly friends, especially Tom, Mark and Bill and the docent friends, many of whom I connect with through Facebook, but also through visits, e-mails, the occasional phone call. Those connections are still strong, even though attenuated by distance.

Minnesota will always occupy a large, 40-year space in my heart. That’s a long time, enough to become home. So many memories, good ones and bad ones. But, it is just that now, a 40-year space in my heart. I do not want to return. Life is here, now, and that, more than anything else, tells me that, yes, I have become and am a Coloradan.

 

Why leave?

Imbolc                                                                            Valentine Moon

facebook1Often on Facebook I see people taking time off, time away. An article on how to cope with the flood of news now available and clamoring for our attention suggested not reading any news online at all. Read a newspaper and when you finish it, throw it away. Of course, the idea of a vacation is not reserved for hypervigilant news consumers-like me, for instance-but has broad application in the workplace, too.

It’s an interesting notion, vacating something we either enjoy too much or have too much of, regardless of its valence for us. The theory is, of course, that we leave something behind for awhile, don’t interact with it. We distract ourselves by going on a cruise, hopping a plane to another state or another country. We “unplug”, an interesting metaphor, from the internet or from Facebook or Instagram or whatever time eater we’ve grown accustomed to using.

good-for-the-soulI’m a bit suspicious of our motivations. We may be solving the wrong problem. I love travel, seeing new places and becoming a stranger in someone else’s world. I love travel not as a distraction from work or home or the current political climate, but for itself, for the fact of being, literally, somewhere else. It seems to diminish travel, at least as I understand it, to use it as escape. Perhaps the differences here are prepositional. In my sense of travel, I travel to places. In the escapist sense we travel away from something.

When we feel a need to escape a cyber world, a work situation, a too familiar home setting, a relationship, is escape the best answer? I’d say no. The more important question is why do we feel the need to escape? What in the current situation seems so unresolvable that only leaving it behind can help?

Those of us who’ve spent any time in AA meetings know about the notion of geographical escape. Alcoholics often convince themselves that only if they were in a new place, a new job, a new relationship, then their troubles would melt away, vanish. The trouble with the geographical escape is the cliched, but true: Wherever you go, there you are. The you addicted to alcohol travels with you.

chiloAddiction is an overused idea, so I’m not going to talk about Facebook addiction or any other, but the issue in all these instances seems the same as a yearning for geographical escape. Something is not working right now, so I need to go. The problem is, there you are.

In other words distractions like new places, new people, new things to do don’t change your inner life. The first question is, what in me needs to be away from this? Is it that this work just doesn’t fit me anymore? Is it that I’ve worked too hard and become exhausted? Have I read and read and read about other people’s lives while forgetting to be in my own? Have I somehow misused the opportunity that this job or this person or this cyberplace has to offer?

Answering these sort of questions before deciding to vacate makes a lot of sense to me. This is not an anti-vacation diatribe, however. Rather, it is a how you define is how you solve sort of diatribe. Identify the true issue and work on that first. Then, figure out someplace or something you can move towards, travel to the beach or the mountains or Korea or the ballgame, not away from wherever you are.

Sexual Aggression.

Fall                                                                                  Hunter Moon

sexual-aggressionSexual aggression and its effects. #PussysGrabBack is a hashtag encouraging women to vote and to vote against the would be pussy grabber in chief. The Access Hollywood video tape with its lewd, rude, casually mentioned and approved sexual assault language has caused an outpouring of actual stories from women in all walks of life and of all ages.

I want to add a male perspective, not because it’s more profound, it isn’t; but, because its relative rarity can underscore the climate of fear this despicable breaching of personal boundaries produces.

When I was young, my parents not only allowed me to travel by myself, but actively encouraged it. I would go down to the Greyhound Bus Stop by Stein’s Tailor Shop, load my suitcase underneath and go up the stairs to my seat. On my lap would be a fruit basket from Cox’s Super Market. Wrapped in a colored cellophane would be apples, bananas, perhaps some grapes, food for the journey.

greyhoundThe Greyhound was not then the dismal transportation method it has become today, but an affordable way of moving long distances. And I traveled long distances, going from Alexandria, Indiana, 60 miles east of Indianapolis, to Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. All of my father’s side of the family lived in or near Oklahoma, so this was a way for me to get to know them. And never, on any of those trips, did anything untoward ever happen to me.

It was different though when I boarded the train headed for Arlington, Texas. This was a really big adventure for me, my first time riding a train. When we reached St. Louis, I had a long layover so I put my bag in a locker (this was before the time of bombs in lockers), took my brownie camera and went out into the humid heat of a Missouri summer afternoon.

brownieA Sunday, downtown was empty of workers and there were no tourists on the streets. I had stopped by a doorway to stand in the shade while I took snapshots of buildings. A man came back, noticed me squatting down changing the film in my camera. He said something, I don’t recall what and I replied because I was a courteous boy from the Midwest. He squatted down, pretending to be interested in my camera.

Then his hand was in my crotch, kneeding my testicles. I stood up, bolted up more like it, said, “You shouldn’t do that,” collected my camera and clutching it to my chest ran back to the train station where I remained until the train came that would carry me onto Texas. He didn’t pursue me, gave me no resistance. But I was shaken in a way that at that age I could barely comprehend. I was maybe 11 or 12.

During college there were various situations in which gay friends came onto me in a sexual manner, but I never considered that assault. It was the exploratory process, learning how to be sexual in a time of drastically altered mores, the late 1960’s and early 1970’s.

Just three weeks ago, in Minnesota, I had a very unsettling experience. I had driven for two days, leaving Conifer on a Wednesday, staying overnight in Lincoln, Nebraska, then on the road Thursday. It was about 4 pm and I was tired, my leg hurt and I was looking forward to getting to my hotel.

ford-truckWhen I reached the intersection of Broadway and Central in Northeast Minneapolis, I noticed a Ford pickup, black with large tires that made it ride high. The driver gunned the engine, came up suddenly on cars in the lane beside me. Jerk, I thought. Then, he did it again. Very aggressive driving.

The second time he did this brought him parallel to me. I looked up, wondering what the guy (I assumed it was a guy.) looked like. He turned his head toward me. Cupping his right hand, he moved it back and forth in front of his mouth while pressing his tongue against the side of his cheek. A rude gesture, especially in a very casual, momentary encounter. He nodded at me, took his right hand and gestured again, this time to himself, then to me and indicated that I should follow him. He was much bigger than I was and had a rough looking face.

I turned my head away, looked forward and turned left away from him. He was in a lane that had to go straight. The encounter ended. It was brief and reasonably safe. I was in my own car and would have had no difficulty losing him even if he had decided to pursue me. But it didn’t feel safe, not at all. It shook me. I felt frightened and, yes, violated.

Neither of these two instances, and they were 50+ years apart, resulted in any physical damage. Both of them resolved quickly. Yet, they both left me repulsed and feeling vulnerable. They both made me rethink my normal assessment of the world as a safe place to be.

I can only imagine how I would view the world if I experienced these encounters regularly, as seems to happen to women. (I say seems because I’m not a woman.) I would feel that my world required constant diligence, constant attention to dangerous surroundings. My sense of safety in the world would probably be compromised beyond repair. And this is in the usual, the day to day.

It does not include a time when a candidate for the Presidency openly brags about such aggression, about the privilege that celebrity brings, about being able to do whatever he wants. This is a validation of sexual aggression, a lived experience for many, many of us, most women, a granting of legitimacy to these acts from a person vying to become the nation’s leading political authority figure.

Adding this abomination to the gradual accretion of insults caused by cat calls, by presumptive hands or body checking, by date rape and rape culture, makes our common space seem fraught with peril, even on a normal day. This is not acceptable. Fear is not the norm we want for our daughters, granddaughters, wives and mothers, sisters.

It’s a problem only solvable by alliances between men and women. Let’s strengthen them over the coming weeks and months.

Back in the humid east

Fall                                                                     Harvest Moon

The autumnal equinox will occur while I’m on the way to Minneapolis. Right now I’m in Lincoln, NE. It was 56 when I checked Shadow Mountain yesterday afternoon, 90 here. And humid. I’m well past Cozad, which is on the 100th parallel, the start of the arid West.

The drive from Conifer to Lincoln was straightforward. Get on the highway, put a brick on the accelerator, kick back and let the car go. Almost like a Tesla. Speaking of which, I passed an autotransport loaded with Tesla Model S’s.

The harvest is underway here. Combines in the fields, tractors moving both huge round  bales of hay and large square ones. Feedlots are also frequent. Charolais, Angus, even a feed lot full of Holsteins, which I didn’t understand.

Once out of the mountains and onto the Great Plains, agriculture becomes the dominant feature of the landscape. In Colorado it was mostly ranches with herds roaming large, barren looking land, the cattle often clumped up around large sheet metal watering tanks or huge piles of hay. Here in Nebraska wheat fields, other grains, hay and feed lots predominate.

Minneapolis is about six and a half hours away, so I’ve got to get on the old hoss and ride on outta here. Left my Stetson and my cowboy boots at home, can’t wear’em east of Cozad.

Love to you, Kate, Jon and all the dogs.

On the road in Lincoln, NE.

Jackhammer Day

Lugnasa                                                                            Harvest Moon

compressor_and_jackhammer_for_drilling_rock_preparatory_to_shooting_explosives_lassen_national_forest_california_3226898238
compressor and jackhammer for drilling rock preparatory to shooting explosives lassen national forest california OSU archives

Yesterday was jackhammer day. Gonzalez and Eduardo deconstructed our downstairs bathroom, leaving the studs, drains and electrical. Looks very small. In addition to removing the former tile, the jackhammer work also prepares the way for an adequate slope for shower drainage. The drainage will be achieved by a fixture all along the far side of the shower, a tiny metal ditch that slopes toward the drain.

20160914_090641Kate had Bailey Patchworkers for most of the day and I spent the day up in the loft with the dogs, so the jackhammering didn’t bother us. This will be worth it, but remodeling is never easy since by definition it has to take place where you live.

I rented my car yesterday. Now I have to find a reasonably priced place to stay. There are plenty of options, though most of them are not located where I want to be. A task for today. Later, a trip to the library for audio books, one of the fun parts of a long drive.

Still hitting my marks for Superior Wolf. I’m at right at 40,000 words, almost half way. I’m feeling very good about it so far. I’ll continue working on it on the road.

Harbingers

Lugnasa                                                                                Harvest Moon

orion2Black Mountain, which is covered in lodgepole pine and actually green as a result, has small gold flecks this morning. Those few aspen groves on its slopes have begun to turn, as have more and more aspens between here and Evergreen, but not those on our property. Too, Orion appeared in the southern sky a week or so ago, the early morning southern sky. On Shadow Mountain Orion and the changing of the aspens are true harbingers of autumn.

The splashy colors of a Minnesota fall, when the remnants of the Big Woods flash their deciduous glory, are absent here, but Denverites flock to the mountains anyhow, going on “color” tours. The transformations of the Great Wheel, in all temperate latitudes, stimulate celebrations, holidays, ad hoc personal adventures.

Autumn, with its temperature changes, plant senescence, calm blue skies, the ongoing harvest and the beginning of school is one of my favorite seasonal transitions. Cooler weather increases my intellectual and spiritual energy, underscoring for me the upcoming holiday of St. Michael the Archangel on September 29th. I think it was Rudolf Steiner who referred to Michaelmas as the springtime of the soul. I know it was Tom Crane who introduced me to the idea.

I will be lucky enough to be in Minnesota in a week and a half. I’ll get a chance to visit that Midwestern fall, get pictures for the folks here in Colorado.

 

Tilt A Whirl

Summer                                                                     Park County Fair Moon

teton-pass-jackson-hole-wy-postcardSwirling. The world, or at least the part of it connected to me and mine, has taken flight, gone up in the air like dust devils. BJ had surgery on her shoulder in the late afternoon yesterday in Jackson Hole. Kate said she liked the surgeon, which is roughly the same as saying he’s a rock star. The Hitching Post, a motel next to the hospital, has rooms for $45 a night if a family member is in the hospital. She’s staying there.

Jon is rushing to finish remodeling a bathroom, put on a deck and doing other fix-it chores at the Pontiac house. He has to be out of there before Jen and the kids return on Monday evening. A restraining order makes it so. The heat-and, ironically for this arid state, the humidity-have been high. It was 99 there yesterday when he and I ate lunch at the wonderful dining table he built.

Though, for those of you in the Gopher State who read this, I know it’s been pretty bad there, too. Both places remind me of Singapore in April when Kate and I visited Mary. We managed to hike across the Singapore Botanical Gardens on a day when the temperature was within one degree of an all time record and the humidity created a watery, heated bubble around us as we walked. Can anyone say carbon tax?

Timberline Painters finished staining the garage, shed, and two decks yesterday. One garage door is green, the other will follow. Interior painting starts on Monday. The dogs, who have to be inside while the painters are in the yard will be happy when this is done. Yesterday, while Gertie and I were in the loft, unbeknownst to me, the painters sealed off the door out of the loft with 3M plastic. The mammoth bone handle knife gifted to me by Tom Crane came in handy as I sliced through the plastic. Felt like I was being born again as I stooped through the small hole with Gertie behind me.

In Colorado, so far, it has been the summers of our discontent, the winters have been fine.