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  • Oh, what fun it will be

    Winter and the Winter Solstice Moon

    Sunday gratefuls: the Dark. 2023. 2024. Years. Months. Days. Calendars. Mayan. Gregorian. Julian. Lunar. Jewish. Chinese. Rice cakes in Korea. Our need to carve up the invisible, time, into smaller and smaller bits. Nanoseconds. Then, for contrast: Eons. Epochs. Ages. Time obsession. Time zones. A 24 hour day. Standard time. Daylight Savings Time. Dawn. Dusk. Midday. The Noonday Devil. What if we just let it all be?

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: Watches and Clocks

    One brief shining: New Year’s eve that special time with the ball in New York City with that never empty shot glass at that dingy bar on some lonely street or with friends in silly hats and noise makers, boo 2023, 2024 making promises it cannot keep, protection from the ravages experienced at the hands of 2023 an Et tu Brutus of a year for sure with me here at home, listening to classical music, eating steak Diane, reading poetry.

     

    2023. Let’s look back. Or, maybe not. Cheer up. Things could be worse. So I cheered up and sure enough 2024 came along with the most under anticipated, unwanted, yet most consequential election in our nation’s short history. Can you imagine the backrooms of the dark money folks getting ready to spend big on neuroscience approved ads? Or, the gleeful hackers in the crumbling 19th century mansion near some Russian backwater army post wringing their hands, ready to hit those keys and change American hearts and minds with lies and false facts. Perhaps you prefer to create a vision of young Chinese men and women fitted out with the latest and fastest in screaming cybermachines, driven by software and algorithms unthinkable only months ago. All of them aimed at your heart. Your mind. Our democracy.

    Yes, our elections are not just for us to steal anymore. Sure, we’ve still got the operatives like Karl Rove or Lee Atwater or most damaging, the guy or woman you’ve never heard of who does things you’ll never hear about, quietly and with small knives. All that crashes toward us, but the storm surge, made outsized by those far away, now contains literally our worst enemies, too.

    Oh, what fun it will be.

     

    Anyhow let’s look backwards for a moment. Highlights of 2023. Colorado made psilocybin and other hallucinogens legal. Wolves got reintroduced here. Our Supreme Court and a district court both said out loud and officially that 45 fomented insurrection. And our Supreme Court banned him from the ballot because of it. Our snowpack was far above average. I went under three times and came out Israel. Mary made it back to Malaysia. Mark has found joy in teaching. Diane went to the Redwoods, Gold Rush country, and Taiwan. I went to Korea. My son and his wife moved to Songtan from Hawai’i. Murdoch, too. I saw that magnificent bull Elk in the rain. At night. Our economy avoided recession. A23a broke loose from its moorings and took off on an adventure. Earth herself ran a fever. A lot of people fell in love, got married, had babies. Did good deeds. Mitzvahs. Lived their ordinary lives in ordinary ways.

    Final thought about 2023. All sacred.


  • The Holy Land

    Samain and the Winter Solstice Moon

    Monday gratefuls: Heidi. Irv. Luke. Money. Rich. Leo, the sweet boy. Cooper. Who may join me here. Sleep. Restoration. Resurrection. A new life, this day. Paul’s photo of the sardines. But, Paul, I’m stuck on lobster pots. Tom’s found sign. (right) Bill working with the paper marblers. Ode and the Stars. Diane getting ready for Taiwan. All the wound up little kids out there. Santa Claus. Norad. Christmas Trees. Eggnog. Lights. Yule Logs. All those pagan rooted parts of the celebration we call Christmas. Incarnation

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: The ohr in everything

    One brief shining: Wanted a piece of jewelry a necklace as a constant reminder of my conversion but no to a mogen David, the six pointed star, no to a chaim searched could not find anything until an Etsy artist from Israel with handmade metal Alephs showed up, loved it the beginning of the Hebrew alphabet, makes no sound, a symbol for ayin nothingness, the ein sof from which Lurainic kabbalah says all creation has its origin, now around my neck, making no sound, under my shirt, talking in quiet whispers to me of origins and nothingness.

     

     

    Sorry for wearing my sacred heart on my sleeve these last few posts. No, I’m not. Well, I don’t want to weary you with it. May not be your thing. Or, you may wonder about my mental stability. Which of course you might anyway. But to me I feel sane, just fine. As they all say, right?

    Have been re-reading Radical Judaism by Jamie’s mentor, Arthur Greenberg. The Radical piece comes from the Radical Theology movement that sprang up from the death of God conversation. Radical theologians wrote in honest recognition of the wreck on modernist shores that the God of old had become. He expired there, perhaps holding his long white beard in wrinkled old man hands.

    In Greenberg I find a soul companion, one who’s journey and mine took the road less traveled to much the same destination. A reimagining of sacredness utilizing the tools of other ancient seekers, especially focusing on the Western religious traditions. I took the Christian turnoff, then the liberal religion loop, stayed a long while in earth centered paganism, but, like Greenberg ended up on the path to the Holy Land.

    That may be the best short hand for this work, come to think of it. The Holy Land. Not just for the Middle East anymore. My Holy Land. The drive between Shadow Mountain and Evergreen through the Arapaho National Forest. Your Holy Land, maybe the Waters of Lake Minnetonka, or a Regional Park, or a pond near your townhome, or the cold Atlantic and the Waters and Lands of Down East Maine. Lucky Street and its domestic neighbors.

    Bloom where you are planted. Yes, a cliche for sure. And yet profound. Who knows when this phrase entered my archives, too common to pin down. But as an ethic, a call to action, a daily motivator it has stuck with me. Sort of like the shema: Listen up, Israel. The One is our God. Our god is the one. Brought to mind often, shaping a world in its simple resonant logic.

    When Kate had to move to the exurbs to be within 15 minutes of the hospital, I resisted. I had lived in the Twin Cities for 30 years. My working life had focused on urban issues, urban politics. What was I gonna do in conservative Anoka County? But there was no choice. She needed the new job. We needed the new job. So. We bought a model home on 2.5 acres of land. About 40% wooded, some scrub Oak and Black Ash with long grass, the rest stripped bare by bulldozers in the process of construction.

    Those of you visited our Andover home know what we did. We quite literally bloomed, over and over again, where we were planted.

    I’m going to continue this idea later.

     

     

     


  • Family First

    Lughnasa and the Korea Moon

    Tuesday gratefuls: Seoah. My son. Their apartment and its twelfth floor view. Murdoch, asleep behind me. My Korean zodiac bracelet that Seoah bought me at the Bongeunsa gift shop. The Pig. Yesterday’s workout. Tiring but pain free. Bulgogi for dinner last night. The Korean National Museum. Songtan. Korea. Shadow Mountain. Kate, always Kate. Jon, may his memory be for a blessing.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: The Spine

    One brief shining: Thinking of Shadow Mountain the Lodgepoles and Aspens on Black Mountain the sudden change to a gold and green Mountainscape, cooler Air and blue Sky, Black Bears going into hyperphagia, Elks bugling for dominance and sex, Leaf peepers crowding the Mountain roads.

     

    No, not homesick. But. I do love the Rockies. And I do miss being there as this change to fall happens. It’s a wonderful and special time. Wild neighbors preparing for Winter, many Plants finishing up their season of growth and heading toward dormancy, the surging energy I always experience then. I’ll not miss all of it. Glad for that.

     

    Seoah’s got a cold. Hoarse, feeling fatigue. Overall crummy. My son has an especially long day today. Probably a quiet day. I may take myself out for lunch. Go for a walk. Exercise tomorrow.

     

    Two weeks to go. Will head up to the Korean National Museum on Sunday. Begin to consolidate the learning I had from the Korean histories I read. Visual learning added to book learning. Going to buy gifts there, too. Three big gift shops. Hope they can mail them to me. Another Seoul train ride.

     

    Murdoch sleeps at my feet right now. Where he stays for my son. Each morning as at home I get a cup of coffee, a glass of Water, a bowl of muselix, and sit down to write. This is a habit begun years and years ago. Writing first thing in the morning. Given over to Ancientrails now, but often including novels a few years ago. Will return to that longer version when I can.

     

    Family first. An Air Force motto. And my son’s. Also a defining characteristic of Korean culture. Family comes first. Always. Here’s an example. When Jon died last year, my son and Seoah came to help. A lot of emotion of course, sometimes frayed nerves, but everybody helped, got through the first shocking weeks together.

    After a while though Seoah began to ask questions. Why do you help them so much? To my son. In her definition neither Jon, nor Ruth and Gabe were family. Help, yes. Go all out? No. She wanted my son back home in Hawai’i. With his family.

    This culturally inculcated strong family orientation has begun to fray as kids leave the home village, marry foreigners, as Seoah did, take jobs in China, as her brother did; however, the brother moved back to Korea and built their parents a new house, Seoah convinced my son to forego a plum assignment in NATO to return to Korea for four years to be close to her parents.

    Culture has a conservative disposition, it changes slowly, sometimes not at all, and breaking from its received understandings can cause guilt and shame. Powerful, powerful motivators.

     


  • The traveler

    Lughnasa and the Korea Moon

    Saturday gratefuls: Seoul. My boy. Murdoch. Seoah and  her golf bag. Walking without pain. Slow. Flaneuring. The home street for my son and Seoah’s apartments. A grocery store. Drug stores, banks. Coffee shops and restaurants. Paris Baguette. Appreciating the 20 seconds to cross a street. Possible Snow today back home. Back to sightseeing. A wiser and slower man.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: Healing

    One brief shining: Heel first, then second toe in a straight line from the body, head up, stomach in I headed out yesterday morning to test my healing back and found go slow, walk healthy as Mr. Lee said enough to get me through six blocks there and back with no pain.

     

    Walter Benjamin, an art critic, essayist, and wide ranging thinker of the early 20th century commented on the flaneur in his essay The Return of the Flaneur. The flaneur he said is a resident of the city in which he strolls. As such he does not observe as a tourist does looking for history, art, famous landmarks; rather, the flaneur notices the chipped curbstone in front of a shop he knows is now onto yet another business. He recognizes the dog who sleeps under the back stairs of an apartment building and recalls the children who play with the dog. The flaneur embraces the city as a living, changing organism, not an open air museum.

    I want to add a middle ground between flaneur and tourist, the traveler. The traveler comes to a place as an outsider like the tourist and has an interest in art, in history, in landmark, that famous restaurant or park or cemetery. Yet in distinction from the tourist the traveler happily sits at a local cafe, watching the traffic, mothers with their children, school children in their uniforms, eating food different from her usual diet.

    Unlike the flaneur the traveler has no background of memory with which to understand the more domestic and homey aspects of the scene, yet she delights in the bits of life that are ordinary here, yet so unlike home. Ah, the old man sits in the store front fanning himself. Not a customer there, just tired. The woman passing by with a plastic bag holding an unfamiliar vegetable and scrubbing pads for the sink.

    While in places foreign to me, I want to be a traveler first, a tourist second. An amateur-though trained-ethnologist watching for cues to the culture dominant where I find myself.

    The ease with which Koreans access and use their medical system. The Orthopedic Hospital I visited on the second floor of a non-descript office building, an empty store front on the first floor. Hardly the pretentious campus of the American hospital. A grimy elevator moves patients from street level to the waiting room.

    Street vendors selling bags of cereal. Small bottles of energy drinks. Socks and t-shirts. Women with the visor that seems ubiquitous in Asia. A woman smiling and bowing as she gets her taxi before Seoah and I get ours. The public building up the street with what looks like electronic circuitry designs on its facade.

    The Dunkin Donut franchise that now offers butter donuts because, according to their sign, that’s what Koreans want. Those small transparent paper packets that hold doses from the pharmacy below the hospital. Of course signs in Hangul. Some English.

    Or, to retreat back in time to 2004 Singapore the then government’s smile campaign, trying to convince glum looking Singaporeans many of them Hokkien Chinese to turn that frown upside down.

    The tendency in Korean to end a sentence or a word on an ascending note, not a descending one as we Americans do. The Noryangjin fish market. The delivery man with two heavy packages balanced on his back stooped over and pressing the elevator button.

    These are the things in which a traveler delights. Their mystery, yes, but also their ultimate cohesion, their oneness with Korean culture. In this instance.

     


  • Learning how to walk. Yet again.

    Lughnasa and the Korea Moon

    Friday gratefuls: That massage therapist and the orthopedist. A flare, can return to exercise. Going to Gangnam tomorrow. See the fabled (in Korea) COEX mall and the Bongeunsa Temple, a 794 A.D. Buddhist Temple from the Silla period. Chef Jang’s fabulous meal last night. Korean Apples. My son’s mission today. Murdoch the happy.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: Back to exercise Sunday

    One brief shining: Chef Jang called my son and me to dinner last night, she stood behind the marble island with the single induction burner our two seats were across from her and platters of Cucumber kimchi, cooked Prawns on a bed of Bean Sprouts, Enoki Mushrooms, Bok Choi Leaves as she placed a bright red pan with a four inch high side on the burner while we began eating  fresh sliced Onions in mirin sauce.

     

    A Michelin three star moment at home. The bright red pan held a boiling soup into which we put the Bok Choi, thinly sliced Beef rolls, Chives, and the Enoki Mushrooms. A hotpot style meal. I filled up on Prawns, Bok Choi, Onions, and Bean Sprouts. A few cooked Beef slices, too. After we had another round of the Kaesong little donuts. Delightful.

    Seoah learned to cook from her mother, but she’s added her own flair over time. The prep work, as in Chinese cooking too, makes up the bulk of the labor involved. Wish I’d taken a picture of the whole tableau before we dug into it. A beautiful table.

     

    Another round of massage yesterday. Boy can that guy bear down. Tight, tight thigh muscles.

    Here’s some irony. At age 1 plus some months I had mastered the human transition from all fours to two feet. Walking. Then. Polio. Paralyzed on my left side for over six months. Oops. Needed to learn how to walk again. Painful. Dragging my head on the floor as mom and Aunt Virginia held me up. Rug burns on my forehead. But, I did it. Learned to walk upright in the world a second time.

    Flash forward to today. 76 years old, walking for a long time now. Except. Mr. Lee, the massage therapist, said, “I will teach you how to walk healthy.” Oh. OK.

    Heel first, then toes. Second toe in a straight line from the body. Move the hips as the feet move. Stomach in, eyes ahead. Something you probably do without thinking about it. My long time with a bad back has given me a bad habit. I drop my left foot and don’t turn my pelvis as I walk. Right, OK. Left, weak. Mr. Lee.

    Tuck in the stomach. Shoulders back. Now try to work in that position. All right. I tried. Mr. Lee typed into google translate a long line of Hangul: “You look like a robot. Walk naturally.” Right.

    Again. Better. Trying to unlearn a habit of many years and return to the skill I retrieved on the couch in Aunt Virginia and Uncle Riley’s living room over 74  years ago. Important learning for me. Should help me for a long time to come. Including, btw, in Israel.


  • Softball, Korea News

    Lughnasa and the Korea Moon

    Friday gratefuls: Labor Day weekend. My son has Friday and Monday off. The Minnesota State Fair. A not so faded remnant of the Lughnasa festivals of the old Gaeltacht. A Minnesota Fall. Brilliant colors, blue Waters, trips up North. A Rocky Mountain Fall. Aspens gold against Lodgepole Green on Black Mountain. Clear cool Skies. A Korean Fall. Will find out.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: Seasons

    One brief shining: My son came home last night in a bright t-shirt with Aladdin 02 on the back and a Cobra on the front his left arm bruised at the bicep after he threw a pitch and a hard hit soft ball came right back to him full of joy at playing and having an injury.

     

    My son plays on his squadron’s soft ball team. The Cobra signifies their squadron. His first time up a few weeks ago he hit a homer. Now he’s hooked for the season. He’s an athlete, has been since middle school. Cross country in the fall. Ski racing in the winter and track in the spring. High school. He also raced on the UofM’s ski team.

    He and Seoah both have the athletic gene, now expressed most often in workouts and golf every weekend. Makes dad glad. Ha. Good for health and for their marriage.

     

    Used the apartment’s gym again yesterday. Feel better already. More limber and a regular dose of endorphins. The same three buff middle-aged Korean women were in the weight room. Seemed like chatting had as much to do with their reason for being there as the weight machines.

    Noticed, again, that I tilt to the left. Scoliosis. Polio. Beginning to have some soreness in my right hip and lower back. Not often, not always. Usually after a lot of time on my feet.

    Still not sure how it will affect my stamina when I get into serious sight-seeing. May be limited to mornings. Maybe less than that. Or, maybe rest at intervals will be enough. I’m sure to find out this weekend since we’re going to Seoul for the first time.

     

    Big news here. War games held for both North and South Korea. Every year a war game called Freedom Shield unites South Korean and U.S. militaries in a display of force designed as a response to a hypothetical North Korean invasion. Such exercises enhance the ability of two command structures to blend when faced with actual conflict.

    North Korea launched an unsuccessful spy satellite last Wednesday in response. Then two more short range ballistic missiles this week. Today North Korea announced military exercises simulating the occupation of all of South Korea. Tit for tat.

    This annual saber rattling makes both sides a bit nervous, jumpy. My son has had some extra work as a result.

    On the streets of Songtan this causes no reaction whatsoever as near I can tell. The taxis pick up passengers. Folks go into the coffee shops. Buy meals in restaurants. It’s not that people don’t care. All Koreans want unification. Just not through military means. It’s more that the specter of war hangs so heavy here that it has become a backdrop to daily life. Not ignored, but not engaged daily.

    Sort of like having cancer it just occurred to me. You can’t pretend it’s not there. And, yes, it could kill you. But, if it occupies your heart/mind all the time  you give up life. Which doesn’t make sense. So  you make an uneasy peace and go on about your day.


  • A Birthday Party

    Lughnasa and the Korea Moon

    Sunday gratefuls: Seoah’s mom and her 70th birthday party. In Gwangju. Her dad, a sweet guy. Her two sisters and her brother. Outback Steakhouse. The three hour drive from Songtan to her small village outside Okgwa. Highway rest stops along the way. The verdant, overgrown Mountains. The Rivers. Those grave sites high on the Mountain sites. Seoah’s memories. Swimming in the River. Playing in the Mountains. School. My son’s careful, steady driving.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: Being able to translate the Hangul (mostly)

    One brief shining: My poor jet lagged body kept me in a purple haze for most of the trip to Seoah’s parents I saw the passing countryside, the blue tiled roofs, the goofy speed signs with a mannequin policeman, listened to Seoah’s commentary, but not much made it past the veil.

     

    We arrived in Okgwa after a long and congested trip on various Korean highways. Her brother had built her parents a brand new home, mostly concrete, stylish inside with an all white interior, polished floors, marble kitchen surfaces, in room mini-splits, and designed lighting. Kate and I saw the old house so I could see the contrast. Huge.

    Four bedrooms so the family could stay for holidays or just because. One bedroom was the one he always uses when he visits. He lives in Osan as do Joe and Seoah. Knowing I was recently arrived and an elder, he gave up that room to me and slept last night on the floor with two of Seoah’s nephews. Not as onerous as it might sound since sleeping on the floor is still common in Korea. Joe, Seoah, and Murdoch found their room.

    At 5:40 we drove to Gwangu, about 30 minutes away, and found the Outback Steak House. A much different experience than in the U.S. It had high stairs on both sides leading to an entrance on a balcony. Seoah’s oldest sister showed me the way.

    The sisters had a clever idea. In a cake shaped object with decorations there was a card. When Seoah’s mom took out the card to read it, it caused a ribbon of 5000 Won notes to pull out. $1,500 worth. Her grandchildren gathered around her, her husband read the card to her, and behind the two of them was banner with an early picture of them as a couple and congratulatory statements.

    The original plan was for all to go to a karaoke place. OMG! Someone said no. Instead we all drove back to the new house and had an after party. Seoah’s youngest sister, her husband, and her three kids stayed the night. In the morning Seoah’s mom made a traditional Korean breakfast for all. Tofu soup. Rice. Bulgogi. Kimchi. Bean sprouts. Egg pancakes. Quail eggs and mushrooms. Delicious.

    The drive back. Much less eventful. We got back. Tired. But with another family memory in place.

     


  • A letter to Kate on her 79th

    Lughnasa and the Korea Moon

    Friday gratefuls: Kate’s 79th birthday. The Trail to Cold Mountain. A good dress rehearsal. A late night. Seeing Seoah and my son on Zoom. Getting closer to leaving this popstand. On a jetplane. With passport in hand. Sleeping in. Ann. The poems on parchment. The drinking gourd. My costume(s). Ruth. Seeing her today. Taking Ancientrails on the road. Korean history. Seoah studying American history. Her mom’s 70th birthday, two days after I get there. In Gwangju. Steak House. Luke and Vince. Leo.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: Writing, again. Still.

    One brief shining: Put on my linen medieval shirt and pants, collected my poems on parchment from Ann, picked up my walking stick, got a glass of water (filling in for the drinking gourd that I forgot), proceeded with: I’m going to tell you this story in the best way I can and reeled off a mistake free performance. Yes!

     

    Kate.

    You would be 79 today. Closing in on the big 80. Wanted to catch you up on some recent happenings.

    I’m a playwright! A short play, about 20 minutes. The Trail to Cold Mountain. Performing it tomorrow night at CBE. The amphitheater if the weather permits.

    Also, I’m converting. Yes, after 32 years with you and 8 with CBE, I realized your people are my people, too. Rabbi Jamie’s excited for me. We’re studying Judaism together. 10 sessions. But before I finish my conversion will take place. In Jerusalem! On Samain! How bout that.

    I’ve become even more integrated into CBE. Joan and Alan are both in my acting class and will be performing Saturday night, too. I see Marilyn and Irv every couple of weeks, Alan once a week. I’ve become good friends with Rebecca Martin, too. Mussar remains my primary contact with the congregation although I’m considering going to regular services now that my energy is better.

    Cancer. Yep, still with me. As you know. But I’m off the meds as of Wednesday and hoping for clear sailing for some length of time. A tiny chance I’m cured. If you have any pull with the cosmic powers, see if somebody could yank a lever on my behalf. Eigner is retiring. His wife died a couple of years ago and changed his perspective. I’ll see him for a last visit on November 20th.

    Ruth’s still struggling. I’ll see her in the hospital today. Going to take her a bagel with caviar from Rosenbergs. Stanley Market. Gabe’s doing well. I think. Playing guitar, taking theater. He may express the Olson performing gene. We saw Oppenheimer last week and we’ll go to the last Rockie’s game of the season on Oct. 1st when I get back from Korea. They’re playing the Twins.

    Oh. I’m going to Korea on Wednesday. Then, Israel on Oct. 25th. A week on my own then the CBE group trip. Excited about both of these. Joe’s a Lieutenant Colonel now. Can you believe it? Remember him stomping up and down the steps at my Irvine Park Place in ski boots?

    Of course you walk through all these moments with me. Sometimes I stand at the kitchen window, look out at your Iris garden, and feel your head on my shoulder. Driving back up the hill from Evergreen I reach over on occasion and hold your hand. Your memory is a blessing for me and so many others. Not to say at all that I’m wallowing. Just that I loved you, I love you, and I will love you.

     


  • The Last Journey

    Lughnasa and the Herme Moon

    Tuesday gratefuls: Ruth struggling again. Still. Gabe and the last Rockies game of the season. Marilyn and Irv. A pale blue Sky. A cool night, but warmer weather coming. Kristie today. Robbie Robertson of The Band. Levon Holmes. Bob Dylan. Coltrane. Parker. Bach. Mozart. Hayden. The St. Paul Chamber Orchestra. Sarah and BJ. Kate, always Kate. Jon, a memory. My son, Seoah, and Murdoch.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: Studying

    One brief shining: Rolled my chair to the built-in desk, turned on the study lamp, took out the sheet of questions for my first class with Rabbi Jamie, this one on Jewish Identity, began to read from Art Green’s Radical Judaism, Joseph Telushkin’s Jewish Literacy, and George Robinson’s Essential Judaism and noticed how much I still enjoy studying, writing answers, thinking deeply.

     

    Now it’s getting personal. Judaism, that is. No longer following the thought pathways the ancientrails of the Talmud and the Torah as an outsider, a camp follower. Reading about Jewish identity as one who will wear the kippah. Makes a big difference. Who is a Jew? What is common among all forms of Judaism? How does Israel define a Jew for the aliyah, the right of return?

    This is my third, and last, venture into the inner life of a distinctive religious community. Seminary at United Theological Seminary in New Brighton, Minnesota gave me four solid years of church history, biblical studies, ethics, homiletics, pastoral care, and a bit of Hebrew and Greek. Much later, in the early 90’s I did a self-study course in Unitarian-Universalism that took two years. This doesn’t count the four years I spent earning my Doctor of Ministry degree from McCormick Seminary in Chicago.

    In both of these earlier excursions I was not wholly engaged. All during my work as a Presbyterian minister, I felt apart from the main congregational life of the denomination. Because I was. My ministry was political and only became involved with congregations near its end when I worked as an organizational consultant for congregations in the Presbytery of the Twin Cities Area. The UU time was a regression, an attempt to retain my ministerial role by switching to a less theologically restrictive community. In the end I found the UU movement too diffuse in its religiosity. And learned, again, that the role of minister did not fit me.

    Conversion to Judaism is different. This is something I want. As Joan Greenberg said, it just feels natural. No real dogma to cleave to. So many Jews identify as atheists or agnostics. Yet, a rich and old tradition of considering life’s most difficult questions. How do we live a human and a humane life? How do we connect with the call of the natural world, as Art Green puts it in his wonderful book, Radical Judaism?

    Kate found this path when she was 30. She led me to it. And my friendships at CBE have made it real. Here’s a secret wish I’ll put right out here in print. If it turns out I’m wrong and there is a heaven, I certainly want to be in the Jewish section where Kate is.


  • Fire and Memories

    Lughnasa and the Herme Moon

    Friday gratefuls: Mussar. Rebecca. Parkside. Morning chill. Pre-travel excitement/apprehension. Prostate Cancer. Kathy. Diane. Sally. All with cancer, too. Not statistics but people I know. And see often. Judy and Leslie. Kate, always Kate. Their memories are a blessing. Jon, a memory. Ruth and Gabe. Maui. Then and now. Hawai’i. Korea. Israel. Travel.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: Travel

    One brief shining: An outdoor table metal, an orange umbrella, Sun cooled by a Mountain breeze, coffee and a glass of Water with ice cubes, a table filled with folks in their twenties loud in the way of good friends enjoying each other, and my sandwich, a Reuben, while I talked with my friend Rebecca, a good morning.

     

    Maui. So many memories. Kate had to talk me into going with her to Maui the first time. I had visions of a cheesy place with bobble-headed hula dancers, fake culture, and too many tourists. No thanks. Still, we were just married and I thought, well. At least it’s with Kate. She didn’t have to convince me the second time. While other folks played on the beach, I hiked in the interior where there was no one. Kate had her classes during the day and I drove our convertible rental car to the Iao Needle, up Haleakala, on the one lane road around west Maui. Or, I would hike into Lahaina from the hotel, have mahi-mahi and eggs for breakfast, go sit under the banyan tree.

    In the evenings Kate and I would go to Mama’s Fish House or to a spot in Lahaina for an evening meal. We both loved a good meal overlooking the ocean, being with each other. Never dull. Never nothing to say. I miss her and now I miss Lahaina, that long time tourist town which was also a link to Royal Hawai’i as well as a provisioning location for whalers and traders plying the Pacific. A lot of pleasant hours wandering in and out of its art galleries, its yes cheesy tourist shops, having a shave ice, or sitting on a bench near the ocean.

    On our first trip I got a permission slip from the sugar company that owned the land and hiked up to the Lahaina L, a large letter standing for Lahainaluna High School. Lahainaluna means overlooking Lahaina. I wandered up 2000 foot Mt. Ball, found the letter, and got lost coming back down. Hot and sweaty and covered in red dust I finally got back to the Westin. Oh, so good that shower.

    Mama’s Fish House, the second most reserved restaurant in the U.S. I celebrated my 60th and my 65th birthdays there since Kate’s continuing medical education events were always mid-February. On the menu is the name of the fisherman who caught that day the fish you were eating that night. While you eat you can watch the wind surfers on the bay. Hawai’i and Kate. Maui and Kate. We went so many times, so many. And loved each one. And each other.