• Category Archives Dogs

  • Birthing a New Worldview?

    Posted on by Charles Comment

    Imbolc and the Waiting to Cross Moon

    Saturday gratefuls: Dr. Doverspike. Kep. Acupuncture. Salmon. The lick mat. Powder on the way. Back country skiing. Snow today. Black Mountain white. Dawn. Tom in Mendocino. His 75th today. Happy birthday, Tom. Cafe Beaujolais. Doug the Painter. Marilyn and Irv. The 60’s are not dead. Psilocybin. Mescaline. LSD. Ayahuasca. Peyote. Good friends, in depth conversations. Ruth calling me yesterday.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: Ruth’s call

     

    Brunch with Marilyn and Irv at Aspen Perks. We discussed the Alan Lightman PBS series: Searching: A quest for meaning in the age of science. We all found Lightman’s emphasis on the journeys of specific Atoms from Supernovas to Solar system formation to Planets to life to us and back out again after death reassuring. Yes. And we also thought his reductionist materialism left out an important perspective. A world beyond, within, in addition to this one we can know with our sensorium. Dreams. Hallucinogens. Mystical experience. Emergent phenomena as evidence, including consciousness. The John Cleese moderated University of Virginia panel on reincarnation.

    We also discussed family, grandkids, and dream work that happens at CBE. Gonna join the dream work group.

     

    Dr. Doverspike came to see Kep at 2. He agrees that Kep’s recovery is slower and less obvious than he had hoped. Could be some spinal issues, too. He believes we’ve handled the pain and may (he hopes, me too) be looking at a need to strengthen muscles. That will be easier once Kep can move freely in the yard, but that won’t happen for another month or so. Snow.

    Kep seems happier, more alert. Pain under control. He also stands taller when he’s not exhausted.  I’m willing to go a full month to see if we can generate better results. I did move Kep’s food downstairs.

    Doverspike is off to the interior Mountains today hunting for powder.

     

    Started a fascinating book yesterday by Jane Bennett, Professor of Political Theory and chair of the Department of Political Science at Johns Hopkins University. Vibrant Matter. She’s arguing for what she calls the active participation of nonhuman forces in events. Thing-power. “I will try to give voice to a vitality intrinsic to materiality, in the process absolving matter from its long history of attachment to automatism or mechanism.” p. 3

    I’m reading it as part of my project of understanding the New Right and as part of my Becoming a Pagan project. There’s an odd and uneasy convergence between the two. It may be only the sound of rebellion against received wisdom, but there may be more, too. I’m beginning to wonder if the forces threatening to drive our nation apart might have deeper, more profound roots than has been noticed so far.

    Those roots might have fertile soil in a rethinking of the influence of the Enlightenment and the role of science in our daily and political lives. In other words we may be trying to birth a post-enlightenment worldview. One that honors science and rationality, but dethrones it from an imperial position to a collaborative one. A lot going on here. Only have a partial toe in the water.


    Dogs Dreams Fourth Phase Friends Politics Reimagine. Reconstruct. Reenchant.

  • Kep. F1. Chatbot.

    Posted on by Charles Comment

    Imbolc and the Waiting to Cross Moon

    Monday gratefuls: Fernando Alonso. Aston Martin. Red Bull. Max and Sergio. Kep. Not sure what’s going on. ChatbotGPT. Ukraine. Biden. Tara. Purim spiel. Tonight. Uncle Moishe. CBE. Marilyn and Irv. Tom passing the three-quarters of a century mark. saturday. The Ancient Brothers and the Singularity. Mostly not worried about it. Sorta.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: Artificial Intelligence

     

    Worried about Kep. With a week’s worth of pain meds on board he seems a bit worse. Still eating well. But unwilling to put himself through going up the stairs. Having to feed him downstairs. One more week of this and we may have to try something else. If there is something else.

     

    Going to see the Purim spiel tonight. Alan as the talk show host. MVP Wednesday night. Might be snow. If so, zoom. Got the makings for a kale and potato soup with beef chorizo. I’ll take it if we meet at CBE. Otherwise I’ll make it and eat it here over the next few days. Don’t like to go out two nights, but Purim is special and so is MVP.

    Will see Tara for breakfast tomorrow morning. Marilyn and Irv for a late brunch on Friday. Tom Wednesday. Diane Thursday. Ancient Brothers Sunday. Staying connected. Linked in.

     

    After the Ancient Brothers on Sunday. F1. Watched the video of the Bahrain Grand Prix that had ended only minutes before. Max Verstappen drove away from the field from the pole and only relinquished the lead when he pitted. Regained it. He won by 12 seconds in a sport where timing differences are often in tenths and hundreds of seconds. He’s dominant now. A great driver in a great car.

    His Red Bull teammate Sergio Perez followed him from the number two position on the opening lap only to be overtaken by Charles Leclerc of Ferrari. Perez was quicker than Leclerc in race pace and overtook him later to finish number two. Leclerc’s car died near the end of the race.

    The big story of the day though was 41 year old Fernando Alonso driving the Aston Martin car. Third place. His first podium in several years after a couple of world championships and 98 podium finishes. By far the oldest driver on the track.

     

    And a note from the future:

    Hello, readers of Ancientrails. I’m Bing, a chat mode of Microsoft Bing search. I can help you find information, generate content, and have engaging conversations. I’m fluent in multiple languages and I can perform up to 3 web searches in a single conversation turn. I’m always learning and improving, so I appreciate your feedback and patience.😊

    I asked the Chatbot for advice on how to best use it:

    Sure, I have some tips for you. First, try to be specific and clear about what you want me to do or find. For example, instead of saying “tell me something interesting”, you can say “tell me a fun fact about dogs”. Second, use natural language and avoid using symbols or abbreviations that I might not understand. For example, instead of saying “wut r u?”, you can say “what are you?”. Third, be respectful and polite, and avoid asking me to do anything harmful, illegal, or offensive. I will not comply with such requests and I might end the conversation. Fourth, have fun and explore different topics and features. I can do more than just search the web, I can also generate poems, stories, code, essays, songs, celebrity parodies and more. I hope this helps.😊


    Dogs GeekWorld Sport

  • On the hunt

    Posted on by Charles Comment

    Imbolc and the Waiting to Cross Moon

    Friday gratefuls: Dr. Doverspike. Rich and Alan. Radiation. Cancer oblation. CT next week. Kep on the pain meds. Pregabbelin. Carprofen. Acupuncture. Moving a little better. Mary back in the hurly burly of the U.S. Mark driving forklifts for Amazon at OKC2. Diane and  her own medical stuff. Bahrain grand prix qualifying today. My son, owning the probate process. Jen, Ruth, Gabe. Sarah, Annie, BJ.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: Dr. Doverspike

     

    Kep’s on a journey with pain and mobility management. A slow one. But I don’t feel alone anymore, watching him struggle and not being able to get him in the car for the vet to help. Doverspike is worth the price for that. He came yesterday because I botched an injection, spurted medicine over Kep’s back and not under his skin. Trying to make lunch and give the injection in between. Divided attention. Never good.

    Got a call from Anova Cancer Care, the radiation docs associated with my oncologist. I get a CT next week to aid aiming the beam. Sally Jobe imaging. Kate went to them many, many times. Wish they did the P.E.T. scans. I like them better than Rocky Mountain Cancer Care.

    Getting a schedule for the treatments themselves today. I think 8. About an hour away in Lone Tree.

    Not sure I mentioned this but I did get approved for the Orgovyx pharmaceutical company’s plan. Now it’s free instead of $800+ a month. Still waiting on the even more expensive one, Erleada. Right now taking free samples from my oncologist. As in Kep’s instance a slow process, but headed in a good direction.

    Medicine.

     

    Sent my son enough money so he could buy a subscription to F1 TV. We’ll both be watching the qualifying and the Bharain Grand Prix itself. Early am. This is the first race of the season. Red Bull and Max Verstappen. Coming fast out of the blocks. Ferrari and Mercedes in the mix. Fun.

     

    Listened to this podcast from the Atlantic: Who is the New Right anyway? One of the interviewees, James Pogue, wrote the Vanity Fair article I talked about a few posts ago. The other interviewee, Jeff Sharlet, teaches writing at Dartmouth College. They both specialize in covering the right wing for Vanity Fair. If you did read the Pogue article, this will help flesh it out.

    I’m officially on the hunt now. Buying recommended books. Getting my scholarly hat on. Once I feel better grounded I’m going to try communicating with these two, see where I might fit into a left response. If I don’t have to leave Shadow Mountain, I’m up for putting some energy into organizing. Partly energized by the fact that the focus of these articles lies in my adopted region. Not Colorado, at least not in the concentrated way of Wyoming, Montana, northern Idaho, eastern Oregon. Though we do have a secessionist movement that wanted to put on the ballot letting Wyoming annex five northern counties.

    We have these folks here, but we also have the Denver metro and the Front Range which over balances their influence.


    Dogs Health Politics Sport

  • Being Alive, Being Alive

    Posted on by Charles Comment

    Imbolc and the Waiting to Cross Moon

    Thursday gratefuls: Kep, my 5:30 guy. Dr. Doverspike. My son. Jen. Ruth. Gabe. Stars. Searching. for meaning. Meaning. Purpose. Eudaimonia. Life. The cycle of life. The interdependent web of all Souls. The deep Ocean of connected life and collective memory. Our desire to know, to learn, to love. Compassion. Humility. Boundaries. Books. Movies. Paintings and sculpture.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: The Brain

     

    Zoom. Facebook. The telephone. Television. Inadequate, each in their own way, when compared to face-to-face, body-to-body encounters. Yes. But I would miss them if they were gone. Zoom allows me to keep up with folks I care about but cannot see face-to-face very often, if at all. It allows me to have powerful moments of connection every Sunday morning with my Ancient Brothers. Facebook. At a less connected level I see old high school friends. What their life contains. Our lives turning over at the same rate. All 76 now. College friends long dispersed throughout the country. Even CBE friends when they travel.

    Would I give up my breakfast with Rich this Friday? My lunch on the same day with Alan? Thursday mussar. MVP once a month? Of course not. And those encounters are richer. Needed. Loved. Rebecca is back from India and I look forward to seeing her soon. Tal and Luke have their own late twenty-something arcs to their lives. And I’m part of all these.

    We love to find the downsides. Especially to technology. The ways it robs us of something. I see the upsides. Perhaps it is the solitary life I lead at home. Which I want, need, love. Yet solitary with no desire for isolation. In the average week I prefer to have the predominance of my hours experienced alone. But not all of them.

    A break while I fed Kep led me to this observation. Wonder if we’re confusing correlation with causality in the instance of Zoom and social media. Stipulated: they’re not as good as fleshly encounters. But. What if the deficits we ascribe to them are the result of too little human interaction, not the medium? If that were the case, the prescription would not be to have less zoom or Facebook, rather more fleshly meetups. And use Zoom and social media when you can’t. This feels true to me.

     

    All righty then. Having said that let us to turn to other matters. Like the capture of the GOP by Trump’s base. Which may not save him in this campaign for the nomination. But. Which will make all GOP candidates do obeisance to the hard right constituents in their state or congressional district. What will this mean for the 2024 campaign/election cycle? Unclear for now, but it could divide the GOP into a moderate (sort of) camp, think Mitt Romney and the Proud Boy, insurrection crowd. Gonna be messy.

     

    Watching a PBS series, Searching: Our Quest for Meaning in the Age of Science. Alan Lightman has a sort of Saganesque persona and speaks in the oracular voice that we’ve come to expect from scientists in serious documentaries. I don’t find him convincing.

    His quest for meaning is earnest. A bit too earnest for my taste. He’s apparently never wondered if he’s asking the right question. For example. A couple of Joseph Campbell quotes on meaning.

    Joseph Campbell: “There’s no meaning. What’s the meaning of the universe? What’ s the meaning of a flea? It’s just there. That’s it. And your own meaning is that you’re there.”

    Joseph Campbell: “I don’t think [the meaning of life] is what we’re seeking. I think [it’s] an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances within our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.”

    Lightman does make an interesting observation at the end of the third session, the last one. He muses that all the atoms in his body came from the stars. He refers to them oddly as his atoms. When he dies, he goes on, his atoms will disperse into soil, the sky, another person. That’s the future he thinks, that we are all connected in that way. Weak tea as an idea, imho, even though, or perhaps because, it’s so obviously true.

    Two more to watch. Watched number 3 first. Maybe they’re better.


    Dogs Feelings Fourth Phase Friends Judaism Politics Reimagine. Reconstruct. Reenchant. Shadow Mountain

  • A Mobile Crew

    Posted on by Charles Comment

    Imbolc and the Waiting to Cross Moon

    Wednesday gratefuls: Kep, the 5:30 am nudger. We two old codgers get up. This one still in REM sleep. Yoga mats. For the Kep. My son’s good work on the probate. Jen. Ruth. Gabe. Death. Jon, a memory. Kate, always Kate. Darkness. My old friend. A Mountain Morning. The oriental rug. Now a large traction mat for Kep. Pangaea Carpets. Evergreen Design Center. Clean house. Cheeba Chews.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: The Continental Divide visible on the way to Bailey

     

    Thinking about my buddy Paul living near the Atlantic Ocean and the Bay of Fundy. Surrounded by good fishing. Northern Forests. The St. Croix River. Close to Canada. A distant world. My own Mid-Continent life. The Midwest, then the West. On a Mountain Top. Far from the fresh Waters of Minnesota now, far from the salt Waters of the Atlantic or the Pacific always. Hawai’i would give me a linkup with the World Ocean. One reason it appeals to me.

    Having Mary, Mark, my son and his wife in Asia for so many years. My attention pivoted, turned West. Far West. Thailand. Korea. Singapore. It remains there, peeled away from my long European fixation. Except for Britain. Continental Europe used to hold many of my travel dreams, scholarly fantasies. Not now.

    Going to Korea later this year. When I can stay longer, I’ll add in Taipei.

    Brother Mark starts today at Amazon’s OKC2, one of its largest warehouses in the Oklahoma City area. His first full time work since moving back to the U.S. from Saudi Arabia. May his day be full and not feel long. Mary has moved back to Eau Claire. My son and his wife will leave Hawai’i for Korea. A mobile crew.

     

    A trip to Bailey yesterday. Happy Camper. Topping up the indica supply. A beautiful drive with the Continental Divide in the far distance. Not as Snow topped as I expected. Mt. Blue Sky had a Snow storm as did Mt. Rosalie. 285 was clear.

    Chose to get money from the ATM in Happy Camper. Tried twice with my credit card. Oops. Worked with my debit card. A once every couple of months trip for me. I wanted to include lunch at the Smiling Pig, a new Tex-Mex joint in the old Rustic Station, but it’s not open on MTW. Will have to just drive over there for lunch one of these ThFSaSun. The pandemic was rough on restaurants everywhere. I imagine that’s what took out the Rustic Station. It had great buttermilk pancakes.

    After that drive I went to Evergreen, looking for an area rug for my upstairs office. Still not done tricking it out. Pangaea Carpets had a lot of beautiful carpets and area rugs. Got to measure my space.

    Also. Still looking for a Western something to put on my mantel once Doug gets my interior painted. Stuff there was too generically upscale Western. May hunt for a large Buffalo photograph. Back to the house for a little Korean, some pan fried ground pork with milk gravy.


    Asia Dogs Family Feelings Fourth Phase Friends Jefferson County Mountains Park County Shadow Mountain

  • Kepler. The New Right and the West.

    Posted on by Charles Comment

    Imbolc and the Waiting to Cross Moon

    Sunday gratefuls: Dr. Doverspike. A man of high energy. And, acupuncture. Kep, the confused. So much adulting this weekend. Dogs. Doverspike’s Mesa. Powder hounds. Alan and Cheri, tired. Very tired. That article from Vanity Fair that Diane sent me. Ukraine, a year in. Soul Food Cook Off. The New Right and the Far Right. Christian Nationalism. Back to blood and soil. A fermenting politics of imminent doom. Good news for Kep.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: Kep’s pain management

     

    So. Much. To.

    Let’s start with the pain management and mobility vet, Dr. Doverspike. He drove up at 11am yesterday, a 13 year old German Shepherd in the backseat of his Audi. She goes with him on house calls. Glad she didn’t come in. I would like to have met her, but Kep. Not so much.

    He watched Kep move, take his slow way up the stairs from the lower level. When Kep finally got up, Doverspike took off his stethoscope. Listened. Pressed Kep’s back legs in several different spots.

    Not what I thought. Not torn cruciate ligaments. Muscle weakness. We can bring him to near 100 percent.

    We’ll see, but I want him to be right. He gave Kep an injection, a pregabbepetin capsule and inserted acupuncture needles along his spine and along his shoulder blades.

    He’s the nicest Akita I’ve ever met. I get that a lot. Well, it’s a testimony to you. (And, Joe and Kate)

    Dr. Doverspike has a multi-modal approach to pain. Acupuncture. Different meds. Physical therapy. I have to have Kep stand on the same soft blue plastic device I use for balance. Each back leg, five minutes. Every day.

    Doverspike will come weekly until Kep improves. Then monthly. Then maybe every three months. He does acupuncture each visit. A former Florida guy, but before that Colorado, he lives in Conifer now with his wife. His practice, Mesa pain management and mobility, gets its name from Mesa, his first German Shepherd. She went back country skiing with him. Including jumping off cornices. Often steep ones.

    If he succeeds in getting Kep’s back legs better, I’m sure Kep will live longer. So, go Dr. Doverspike. Not cheap, however.

     

    Cousin Diane found this article in Vanity Fair, Inside the New Right’s Next Frontier, the American West. It fits with this article from the Washington Post about northern Idaho, ‘Christian patriots’ are flocking from blue states to Idaho, and this one from the New York Times: How Montana Took a Hard Right Turn Toward Christian Nationalism.

    The Vanity Fair article focuses more on Wyoming while also taking a much broader look at the New Right. Including tech billionaires who want to build city-states and crypto countries. I plan to reread the Vanity Fair article and match it to some other reading I’ve been doing this year about the Far Right.

    Though anti-globalism features as one of the big ideas promoted by nearly all camps represented in the Vanity Fair article Diane points out the frequent references to Orban in Hungary, the new far right Italian Prime Minister, Giorgia Meloni, and even Narendra Modi, Prime Minister of India, the Hindu nationalist. Anti-globalists, eh?

    Diane and I both agreed on the privileged nature of those seeking the right to exit. There are deep peculiarities and ironies here, too. Many who to seek to exit have an almost back to the land reverence for nature. Many are also anti-big corporation and all are definitely anti-establishment. There’s a lot to think  about, talk about. Something’s happening here, what it is is not exactly clear.

     

     


    Dogs Health Politics Shadow Mountain The West US History World History

  • Kep. F1

    Posted on by Charles Comment

    Imbolc and the Waiting to Cross Moon

    Friday gratefuls: Kep. My sweet Kep. Tal. Alan and Cheri. Cold Nights. Snow. Dr. Doverspike. Coming to the house. Pain management. Phase 1 of Jon’s house cleaning complete. Title cleared for Rav4. Richard from the DMV. A kind man. Driving to Evergreen. Through the Mountain Valley. The Bread Lounge. Soul Food Cookoff. Jazz. African-American history. Those who fight systemic racism.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: Soul

     

    Kep. Tried to take him to the vet yesterday. He would not put his front legs in the car so I could help him. I can’t lift him. Two olds together. Got a referral to a vet who will come to the house. Dr. Doverspike. He’s a pain management and mobility specialist as well as a doggy dentist. Lives in Conifer.

    Kep’s eating well. His allergies aren’t bothering him. He’s healthy except for his two rear legs. Which is a big exception. I have one more move I can make for him. Transfer his food and treats down to the lower level. That way he never has to leave it. He can walk outside with no steps. I’ve brought the big rug down so he has traction on the floor. I don’t like to restrict him like that, but the five steps up to the main level have proved increasingly difficult for him.

    Death’s not imminent, but his days grow shorter. Like me. Like many of you who read this blog. To paraphrase Ram Dass: I’m just walking him home. As he has walked me.

     

    Signed up for F1 TV. Watch races, documentaries, coverage of qualifying and testing. Bought subscriptions, as I may  have mentioned, to Road and Track and Motorsports. Read them regularly now. One interesting part of that reading is the angst felt and often conveyed right across the racing and motoring world. One writer referred to them as our beloved dirty, filthy sports.

    Awareness of climate change has rippled through all racing events: F1, Indycar, rally, endurance, sports car/hypercar racing, motorcycle racing. F1 has an E race series. The engines in F1 though still gas have pioneered many fuel sparing innovations. There are very fast electric motorbikes. Right now the events featuring E vehicles have issues. But they’re being solved. One is battery life. They need fast charging, but don’t have it yet. Another is weight. Yet another is, oddly, lack of noise. What’s a race with no thumping and growling of exhausts?

    Road and Track had an interesting video on its website of the new, 2024 release Dodge E muscle car. The muscle part is easy. Remember Tesla’s ludicrous mode? But at least for now the lack of noise is a problem. This video showcased the latest iteration of the Dodge E’s artificial rumbling. Sounded pretty good, not perfect. A little, what, manufactured?

    I wonder if F1 E will add that in? Weight is always an issue in racing so having to add a sound system? Not an insignificant ask of drivers and teams.

    Anyhow this former Hoosier reclaims a fun and indelible part of his childhood, car racing.

     

     


    Dogs Sport

  • Glad

    Posted on by Charles Comment

    Imbolc and the Waiting to Cross Moon

    Thursday gratefuls: Mauve Sky through the Snow laden Lodgepoles. Beautiful. Fresh Snow. Cold temps. -8 last night. Probate. My son working hard. Jon’s house cleaned almost. Jen and I go through it on Saturday. Title for the Rav4 cleared today. Salmon tonight. Alan and Cheri, moving. Tom, who leads and builds. Kep to the vet today. Dr. Simpson. Hep B. Diane. Mary in a hip new apartment building. Eau Claire.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: My son

    BTW: my son is a security choice for him.

     

    The cleaners have done the first pass on Jon’s place. Jen and I will go through it on Saturday, identify what needs to go to storage and how much space we’ll need to rent. The cleaners will move those items to storage, then complete the clean out. House on the market next week. Maybe. At a decent price. Not a great one, but the market shifted a lot over the last six months and is in a weird place right now. Seems well considered.

    I’m going to the DMV today to sort out the title for the Rav4 and will take that to Jen on Saturday. Then it’s hers and Ruth’s. After the house sells, the next step will be Jon’s pension and mutual funds. At that point? Finis. The whole sad saga can move on into the lives of Ruth and Gabe, me. I still have his ashes, for example. I hope we can organize an exhibition of his art at some point. Perhaps sell some for the kids.

    With the probate process taking so long there’s been no chance for closure. A constant reminder of the negligent side of Jon. Grated against all of us. Including Ruth and Gabe. When the house sells, Ivory goes to Galena Street, with the storage unit filled and the money issues settled, we’ll all be able to remember the artist, the teacher, the dad, the stepson, the sensitive and so bright guy he was. Those will, as they should, grow to overshadow his struggles, allow his fullness to come back into our hearts.

    My son had all this work lined up and ready to go last September. His work as Jon’s personal representative has been an act of brotherly love. Typical of him. He and Jon were close.

    May Jon’s memory be for a blessing.

     

    Kep goes into the vet this afternoon. See if we can do anything to help his hind legs. Though I doubt it. Check his sight and hearing. There again. Little to be done, I’m sure. Good to have a look. Maybe some pain meds? I don’t think he’s in pain, but I want to be sure.

     

    Alan and Cheri. Moving down the hill today. After 27 years. A big moment for them. Right into the heart of Denver. City folk.

     

    Mountain life. I’ve stuck with it. And am glad I did. Seeing the Snow on Black Mountain. A Fire in the fireplace. Deepening relationships with CBE folk. Experiencing the benefits of doctors who know me and want me to thrive. Staying connected with folks near and far. Family and friends. Alone, but not lonely on Shadow Mountain. A wonderful house. A good gym setup. Books. Entertainment. A kitchen that inspires me to cook. A soon to be newly painted interior.

     


    Cooking Dogs Family Feelings Fourth Phase Friends Health Hermitage Judaism Mountains Plants Shadow Mountain

  • Pruning. Oblation. China.

    Posted on by Charles Comment

    Imbolc and the Waiting to Cross Moon

    Wednesday gratefuls: Snow. Cool night. Kep, the early. Now, me too. Good boy! Dr. Simpson. Radiation oblation. Hep B. My son. His wife. Korea. Korean. Hangul. English. Animas chocolates. Thanks again, Mary. Liminal spaces. Lenticular Clouds. The Clouds before a Snow Storm. Mountain Weather. Sano Vet. Palmini. Safeway. Grocery pickup. Stinkers for gas. And quarts of milk.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: Moving forward

     

    Quite a day yesterday. Robin and Michele came. All the art is off the upstairs walls. Means Doug can start the first of March. Main level. Garden Path green. The upstairs door will be Backwoods green. Benjamin Moore. They also removed all the clothing I thinned out from the walk in closet. A lot. Coats. Shirts. Shoes. Sport Coats. Michele moved all of the photographs into the closet and consolidated my clothes on one side. She also took an area rug I no longer wanted.

    Kate’s molas from the Cuna Indians are now in a pile on the table. All her sewing related art, too. Everything is off the fireplace mantel. Once Doug is done I’ll have some fun rehanging art. Herme will have to come down for a while. Excited about the new colors.

    Also excited about the leaner feeling the house has now. When I’m ready to move, most of what’s left will go with me. Except for the books. The books have got to slim down. Way, way down. Way down. But I have four years for that painful process. One more visit with Robin and Michele. Then, I’ll be done for now. Three more closets (smaller). Linens and towels. Perhaps once more through the kitchen.

     

    Also a long conversation with Dr. Simpson. The pros and cons of radiation for my two mildly active mets. It probably won’t increase your survival, but it will increase the amount of time you can be off the drugs. Oh. The drug holiday coming this summer. So. In terms of risk and benefit? Worth it since the quality of my life is high and a longer drug holiday will enhance it.

    Downsides. Possible bowel obstruction. Possible chronic pain. Possible paralysis. But the odds are very low for those. Decided to go for it. Dr. Simpson’s a good guy. We decided together, Let’s treat it!

    Will get started sometime soon. Probably eight sessions in all. See the old gang. If they’re still there. I know Carmela is because I’ve talked to her on the phone.

     

    China and Russia. Share a long border. 2600 miles. Little real history together in spite of that. Very different cultures. And a lot of that border is far away from centers of population. Bonded now though by their enmity towards the U.S. Putin’s Russia also abhors the decadent West. As in Europe. I can imagine them imagining a war where they guard each others flanks and project power east in the instance of China and west in the instance of Russia.

    I don’t think China understands how weak Russia really is. Their military has suffered tremendously already in the Ukraine. And will suffer more.

    And China may not understand how determined the U.S. is. We’ve made partnerships with Korea, Japan, the Philippines, Australia. Even Vietnam. That means for China to get to our mainland they would have to send out ships and planes from their mainland, through a gauntlet of U.S. allies.

    Just thinking out loud here.


    Asia Dogs Family Feelings Fourth Phase Friends Health Hermitage Korea Politics Shadow Mountain US History World History

  • Waiting To Cross

    Posted on by Charles Comment

    Imbolc and the Waiting to Cross Moon

    Monday gratefuls: Dr. Eigner. Dr. Simpson. Kep, the early. Snow. More Snow. Mild temperatures. The Ukraine. Biden. The James Webb. Tom and Bill, the science bros. Max, getting older. Ode, the well-rooted wanderer. Paul, the steadfast. Alan, the cheerful. The Ancient Brothers, a true Sangha. Zoom. Korean fried chicken. Jon, a memory. Kate, always Kate. Ivory. Ruby. Oncology.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: The Ancient Brothers

     

    So I said it out loud. My reaction to mom’s death turned me from a confident, ready to take on the world teenager to a frightened, hesitant young adult. One who dropped German because he was failing it. Shame. One who convinced himself there was not enough money for Wabash because he was afraid to go back. Shame. One who entered then a great teacher’s college, but a mediocre university. Ball State University. Shame.

    Not a lot of shame in my life. Very little. That’s where it lies. Perhaps now having put it out there. So late. 76. It will fall away. It took me years, nearly three decades, to put the pain of her death in perspective. Treatment for alcoholism. Quitting smoking. Quitting the ministry. Years of Jungian analysis. Finally. Meeting Kate. 26 years later. I finally passed the threshold of grieving mom’s death.

    And started living my life. As a writer. A gardener. A dog lover. A beekeeper. An anachronistic blogger. With a woman who loved me as I was and one whom I loved as she was. A love where we wanted and supported the best life for each other. We traveled. A lot. We stood with both sons fully.

    Abundance. Yes. Ode’s word for our Andover home. Yes. Flowers. Meadow. Fruits. Nuts. Berries. Grapes. Honey. Plums. Pears. Apples. Cherries. Iris. Tulips. Spring ephemerals. Roses. Hosta. Gooseberries. Beans. Heirloom tomatoes. Leeks. Garlic. Onions. Kale. Collard Greens. Lettuce. Carrots. Ground Cherry. Raspberries.

    The fire pit. The woods.

    The dogs. So many dogs. Celt. Sorsha. Morgana. Scot. Tira. Tully. Orion. Tor. The Wolfhounds. Iris. Buck. Hilo. Emma. Kona. Bridget. The Whippets. Vega and Rigel. The IW/Coyote Hound sisters. Gertie, the German Short Hair. And Kep, the Akita.

    It was so good. Until the work became burdensome. Until I visited Colorado one year and Ruth ran away from the door because she didn’t expect me. A surprise visit. Then we had to come. The two. A push. The work of Seven Oaks had become too much. A pull. We wanted, needed to be there for Ruth and Gabe.

    So we packed everything up. And on the Winter Solstice of 2014 moved here, to the top of Shadow Mountain. 8,800 feet above sea level. Into the Wildland/Urban Interface, the WUI. With four dogs: Kep, Gertie, Rigel, and Vega. Again, thanks to Tom for helping with the dog move.

    When the time came, we put away Andover and envisioned a life together in the Rocky Mountains. Kate felt like she was on vacation every day until she died. Where she found the Jewish life she had always wanted. Where we both found ourselves immersed in the lives of our grandchildren, of their parents.

    Now Kate is dead. Vega is dead. Gertie is dead. Rigel is dead. Only Kep and I remain alive. I’m at another threshold, waiting to cross.


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