Category Archives: Aging

Harvest

Fall                                      New (Harvest) Moon

Second round of apiguard in the parent and the divide.  The top box on the package colony has gotten heavier, but I plan to feed them some more as I will do to the parent once the apiguard comes off in two weeks.  Sometime in early November I’ll get out the cardboard wraps and cover the hives for winter.  That will pretty much finish bee work for the year until late February or early March.  I’ve given away honey and plan to give away more.  Part of the fun.

A quick walk through the vegetable garden shows kale and swiss chard looking good, a few rogue onions that escaped the harvest, plenty of carrots, beets and butternut squash.  The harvest is 2010-10-04_0351not yet over and will go on until the ground threatens to become hard.

While I drove through the countryside on my way back to Lafayette on Monday, I passed field after field of corn and beans, some harvested, some not, about half and half.  Seeing those scenes put me right back at home, especially the corn fields.  Here’s a field near Peru, Indiana with the combine spilling corn into a tractor trailer for transport either to a corn bin, grain dryer or even straight to the grain elevators, all depending on the price and moisture content of the corn.

Indiana is no longer home, Minnesota is, but Indiana has a large section of my heart, the chamber of childhood and early young adulthood, a room full of corn fields, basketball, small towns, a baby sister and brother, county fairs and James Whitcomb Riley poems.  I was glad to be there the last few days and to walk again in the part of my heart filled there so long ago.

We move now toward Samhain, Summer’s End.  Blessed be.

A Life in Ruins: Part II

Fall                                    Waning Back to School Moon

When I visited Angkor in 2005, I wrote a piece for my Pilgrimage series entitled, A Life in Ruins.  Ephesus, Delphi, Delos,Rome. Pompeii, numerous civil war battlefields and Attuthya are among the many ruins I’ve visited, trying to piece together from blocks of stone, information plaques and Blue Guides their meaning and significance. At Knossos I wondered what it felt like to be in the labyrinth of rooms that made up what entered legend as the habitation of the Minotaur.  At Delos I imagined what the birth of Apollo and Diana was like.

Given that history, amazing is an understatement when I discovered my actual life had become a site with ruins, not one, but many.  In my hometown of Alexandria the first factory in which I2010-10-02_0396 worked, Johns-Manville has nothing left but concrete coated pillars and a loading dock.  I worked as a receiving clerk the summer I was there, so I knew exactly what went on there when the trains loaded with coak and limestone rolled onto the factory grounds.

That was the first, but far from the last.  The old High School, my middle school, gone.  Tomlinson, my first elementary school. Gone.  Most of the businesses of my youth, abandoned shells.  This is only in Alex.  In Anderson the mighty General Motors Guide  Lamp and Delco Remy, employers once of 25,000, gone.  Parking lots and concrete factory pads covering thousands of square feet and fenced in with tall chain link are all that remains.

If we had a magic button we could push, one that would light up the home’s lost among those 25,000, we would have a better estimate of the lives ruined along with these structures.  These are the missing elements at Ephesus, Rome, Delos.  What about the lives of the priests, the grounds keepers, the cooks, the sailors?  Like members of my class and their parents forces beyond their control eliminated the places where they earned their livings.  Places made sacred by the holy work of labor.  So much desecration.

These factories, these shops, these shuttered houses, these abandoned people are the friends and family with which I spent the weekend, real people, not statistics.  Never did I think that the mighty flood of cars bearing workers on Highway 9, no absurdly named Highway of Vice Presidents, would dry up.  Never did I think that the vibrant small town of my youth with its mens store, its womens store, two variety stores, two pharmacies, a bakery, two theatres, bars and banks and service stations would fade away only to be replaced by dollar stores and wholesale outlets.

So this weekend, an affair of the heart most of all, a reconnecting with those who lived then, only underscores the pain.  I will never visit a new ruin again with the same detached attitude.  Real people lived there;  real people suffered.

Camp Chesterfield: Blessing of the Animals

Western Hotel, Camp Chesterfield, 8 pm.

This was my day to poke around here at Camp Chesterfield, the reunion over and a day remaining on my stay in the Western Hotel. I picked a poor day. Instead of the usual worship services held today thee was a blessing of the animals. Before that I went back to the gift shop, which has an unusual collection of books and items for sale.2010-10-03_0378

Footfalls on the Boundary of Another World, by Robert Dale Owen seemed the most substantial work on spiritualism, so I picked up a copy. Written in 1860, a California outfit named Health Research has produced a facsimile edition. Most of the works on spiritualism were from the late 19th or early 20th century, the prevailing zeitgeist here at this 124 year old Spiritualist center. It will make for interesting reading.

I looked through many other books, including a series by Alice (?) that fills a bookshelf. A couple of the books interested me: White Magic and Esoteric Knowledge (actually 6 separate volumes), but at $27 or so a copy, I decided to pass. Besides, the book store plans to go online next month, so I’ll have access there whatever titles I want. Most of the ones that intrigued me were by presses I suspect even Amazon doesn’t carry.

Why do they intrigue me you might well ask. In part because this small subculture has shown durability over the centuries, persisting and now beginning, it seems, to thrive again. They tap into the universal hope that something persists after death, that death is not final, rather a transition to the Spirit world, or the non-physical plane. As a writer of fantasy novels, I like to use religious world views grounded in living or once living faith traditions. Not much has been done with Spiritualism and it carries such a strong overlay of Victorian and Edwardian sensibilities, that it makes a good setting for a novel.

As I made away across the grounds from the Western Hotel, the direction of transition in spiritualism, I passed a prayer grotto, a large marble angel, a setting of busts honoring creating of major faith traditions and a setting of concrete tables with two wooden chairs. These last I imagine were at one point the site of outdoor readings.

Just beyond the chairs and concrete tables was the cathedral. That’s what they call it. This is a rather modest cathedral, though it has two ranks of movie style seats and a large stage upon which a pulpit sits. The décor is simple, plain plaster, a couple of small stained glass windows and a statue of Jesus off stage right.

I began with a critical attitude. The nearly bald older woman in the flowery chiffon dress couldn’t pronounce Assissi or covenant, both coming out garbled at best. She also started the service with a CD of a 9/11 fireman singing God Bless America followed by the pledge of allegiance. Peculiar way to start a worship service unless in a militia camp. Then she read a brief bio of Francis, butchering the words yet again.

Once came she came down from behind the pulpit and discarded her professional persona for animal lover, the service got in synch. She loved each animal, from Great Danes to Italian Greyhounds and lively kitties to one brought forward in a roller bag because, as her own said, “She has severe arthritis.”

Our nearly bald celebrant said, “Well, I can identify with that.”

Animal after animal came down, got a sprinkling of holy water and a St. Francis medal and a dose of love. The celebrant assured us that the water and the medallions had been blessed by Fr. Justin. From a traditional theological perspective this was peculiar at best.

One of the Great Danes, almost as big as our Irish Wolfhounds, took it upon himself to lap noisily from the basin holding the holy water. A sanctified stomach.

As a couple of people came up with names of pets who had died, there were asked when the transition had occurred. They were then assured that St. Francis greeted each animals arrival, as did, in one case, another cat who had died—transitioned– in the last year. The grief and the joy which met all the animals or their owners who talked of loss was real and consoling and honoring.

Seeing the animals up there, participating in the service, made me realize how infrequently we give active attention to the sacredness of animals and the human-animal bond. This all felt more authentically spiritual than many services I’ve attended.

I shed a few tears for Hilo and Emma, both recently deceased—transitioned. It was an affecting time and one that convinced me of the sincerity of this unlettered woman who spoke of spirit and transitions.

I hope to get a Tarot card reading before I go, though because this is Sunday it seemed awkward to call people. I’ve got tomorrow morning yet.

Friends

Fall                               Waning Back to School Moon

October 3nd, Western Hotel, Camp Chesterfield 8:35 am

Had breakfast again in the Maxon Cafeteria, just east of the Western Hotel. It was late enough that the crowd here for John “Medicine Bear” Doerr’s workshop, Becoming a Spiritual Warrior, had already eaten, so I dined alone. Oatmeal and bacon.

A good nap after the laundromat yesterday followed by a quick visit to the gift shop here at the Camp. It reopens at noon today. Lots of interesting books and gee-gaws from a wide range of religious traditions. I’ll spend some money.

Big doings last night at the south room of the Norwood Bowl. A cement block addition to the bowling alley, the south room has a parquet dance floor, seating for around 70 which we filled 45norwood-bolw-10-02_0402and a kitchen area;/wet bar raised above the dining and dancing floor by about three feet. It was a perfect space for this event.

Having the homecoming parade float and the impromptu meal at the Curve on Friday night, the Historical Society meeting yesterday morning followed by the tented champagne brunch at Steve Kildow’s place before this sit down meal allowed a lot of mixing and story telling to happen over an extended time. It made for a real sense of having gathered together again as a class.

Toni Fox, a self-described “a bit plump but still cute as a button,” was an early crush of mine. By early I mean first/second grade. She’s retired now and set to go on a 1940’s train ride to Memphis with her now cancer free husband. Louie Bender worked his charm on the ladies as he always did, vying at times with Toni for the attention of the crowd.

Jerry Ferguson, an old buddy with whom I apparently had more good times than I recall, and I had a lot of laughs remembering crazy stuff we did. Jerry remembers, and others did too so I’ll take their word for it, that we painted 1965 on the water tower. He said, “I turned to you and you were high-tailing it for the truck. I yelled, Charlie, what are you doing?” “Man with a shotgun,” I shouted over my shoulder. Tom Urban got behind the wheel of Jerry’s green pickup, we dived in the back and Tom drove across the railroad track. Tony Fisher said, “We could see the whites of the engineer’s eyes.” Big fun. Lucky I survived childhood.

Tom Friend was there. He played coronet in high school and had a way with the ladies like Louie. Tom lived near the Nickel Plate tracks north just off Harrison.

Frank Johnson and Susan Mahoney, high school sweethearts and married since college, live in Fort Wayne. Frank had a benign brain tumor, quadruple by-pass surgery and prostate cancer. “I’m getting all the bad stuff out of the way before retirement.” He should be almost bullet proof. Susan, who looks like she did in high school, now works in admissions for a private school. They attend 1st Presbyterian in Fort Wayne, a congregation that tasted blood about 4 clergy ago and have continued to chum the water with each new pastor. A typical pattern for churches that succeed in ousting a minister, usually to devastating affect on the congregation.

Larry Stafford workdd for GM at Guide Lamp for 42 years until they shut down five or so years ago. Now, at 63, he’s out of a job and trying to find something new, “But, Charlie, there just aren’t any jobs out there. I got my associate degree in information management, too.” A tough spot.

Tony Fisher sells insurance in Liggonier, Indiana. A couple of years ago he won $2,000 dollars at an insurance convention, money for a trip. He chose New York City. “I didn’t know Central Park was so big you could drive through it. I saw Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty, Ground Zero. I always wanted to see them. Course I also saw the wax museum and Ripley’s Believe or Not, too. I’d go back.”

Traveling is on his to do list. He wants to go Las Vegas for “all the glitz and glamor” and he also intends to take the South Bend to Chicago train and see the Shedd Aquairum and all that stuff. “Ive gotten interested in that stuff as I’ve gotten older.”

Steve Kildow, who paid for and hosted the champagne brunch yesterday worked at GM and lost a good bit of money when GM’s stock tanked. Looks to me like he compensated for it in other areas.

Old groups that hung out together 45 years ago reformed, catching up in the years since 1965 and reliving the ones before. Memories were the token of exchange over the weekend and each person came with a full account and left even richer in them.

A photographer took shots of the whole class, then broke us down by feeder schools: Orestes and Cunningham were outside Alexandria’s city limits, Tomlinson and Clarke were for the southern and northern parts of the city for elementary school. I didn’t even know Clark existed. We were only in Tomlinson and Clark for first and second grades then we merged at what is now Thurston Elementary.

Miss Thurston would come in to the lunch room, go student by student, rapping each on the shoulder, “Now Charles Paul. Eat your peas.”

Toni Fox recalled that when we went to Tomlinson the school took us home for lunch because the school was on Highway 9 and we couldn’t walk home. I didn’t remember that.

Richer Howard told me the saddest story of the evening. Richard Lawson, a good buddy while I was in High School, went to Vietnam and came back disabled. He married, had a couple of kids. A divorce took him hard and he lost his job, became homeless. Richie gave him money now and then.

It got to the point where Richard was living out of his car. He had a stroke and that made getting around difficult. During a recent very cold winter he had returned to his car, opened the door, then slipped and slid under it. They found him there the next morning, blue and solid.

Richie also told a tale about Richard. Richard joined the Navy after his discharge from the Army. Richie got a call at 3 am, “Hey, Richie. What’s you doin’?” “Sleeping.” “Hey, man. How do you cook a turkey?” “What?” Turns out Richie and some other sailors had washed up on the shore of Spain somehow and a farmer gave them a turkey, but non of them knew how to cook it.; Richie put his wife, Becky (Ellis, no relation), on the phone and she walked him through the steps.

There were, as there always are, those who couldn’t come. Ronnie Montgomery I missed most since we had stayed in contact through college. Zane Ward and Larry Cummings, part of the poker playing crew, I’ve not seen since high school. Zane runs the junk-yard and Larry has bait shop in Arkansas.

Jerry said Jack Staley has his own engineering firm specializing in heating and cooling systems. Jack has the controls for Budweiser’s beer storage warehouses in his basement in Indianapolis. The warehouses are in St. Louis. Mike Taylor, the only African-American in our class, who moved before high school, also became and engineer specializing in high-end kitchens.

Willard Grubb, another poker player, is a pharmacist nearby.

We’ve had deaths, mostly cancer and brain tumors, but a heart attack whiled driving, too. That was Rodney Frost, the guy with whom I had my one and only fist fight. Mike Gaunt, my doctor’s kid, died a couple of years ago. One of the pretty girls in our class, Sherry Basset, died in 1989. Two died in Vietnam. I don’t whether 20 or so is a lot or a little for a class of 120. Since we’re all 63, the number will grow faster between reunions now.

The woman I met here yesterday from Bogota said that one of the things she admired about Americans was their loyalty to groups. “Coming all the way from Minnesota for people you knew 45 years ago. In Colombia it’s just go and live your life. That’s it.”

There were, too, the objects and places to which memories adhere, the house on the corner of Harrison and John that has the stone wall running along the sidewalk. When Mom and I would go downtown, I walked up the flat mortared slope and then along the top, watching my mom from high above. At the point where some steps broke up the run of the wall, I always looked in the yard and so the big doghouse built for their St. Bernard. The hill, which felt so big back then, down which I rode my skateboard. I got pulled over by the police and ticketed for being in the street. At city hall I looked up the ordinance and found that wheeled vehicles were required to be in the street.

Those two numinous blocks of Monroe Street where I lived from age 4 or 5 to age 12 were the terrain of magic for me, where nights became playgrounds for hide and seek and kick the can, where a field nearby became a fort, a hide-out, a place of refuge, where Mike Hines and I performed our experiments where explosion was the mark of success.

In 1957 Mike and I were out back in our backyard, we lived across the alley from each other. We looked up and saw three silver shaped objects high in the late afternoon sky. To my recollection this was September or October. We watched those objects for a while, then they went behind the moon. That’s right, behind the moon. Mike and I reported this to my dad who wrote a small article in the paper about it. This was the time of the UFO’s and Mike and I saw some. Nothing ever came of our sighting.

Mike left the US during the Vietnam War for Canada. According to Toni, who saw Mike’s sister Susan not long ago, he’s still there.

Some of us had grown up on the same street together, then gone to elementary, junior high and high school together. We passed from children to youth to teen-agers together. Those memories, those years together in the same place are a powerful bond, one not broken by time or physical separation. We proved that all over again at this weekend.

Here Comes the Parade

Fall                               Waning Back to School Moon

Had no internet connection at camp Chesterfield.

October 1st, 2010 9 pm

Chesterfield Spiritualist Camp, Chesterfield Indiana Rm 219, The Western Hotel

Drove down from Lafayette taking interstates because I wanted to have time for a nap. Got here about 2 and took an hour long nap. The room is basic. A bed, a small chest of drawers, a lamp and a bathroom. No three pronged plugs and no internet. A retreat environment.

In Alexandria I saw Tim Lockwood and Mike Lynch hanging out in front of the Alexandria Historical Society. My folks. When I went inside there were about 15 people in the room, many of whom I didn’t recognize.

Teddy Bryant I did recognize. He told me about Saturday being the devil’s night, long ago. He’s a real estate agent now after a career as an electrician. “I had two careers, both of them I looked forward to going to work in the morning. Not many people can say that.”

Then, he added, “I have a bone to pick with you.” Huh. “One night after we got done with the truck at Coxes I walked over and asked Vicky Moore out. But. When I asked her again the next day, she said, Charlie told me what you said. She never went out with me.” Gee, Ted. A while ago. I don’t remember the incident or Vicky Moore for that matter.

Jay Kantner was there, short as ever with a beard and a hearing aid. He lives in Oregon, fishes the Columbia and hunts in the area. When I asked him if it was salmon, he said, “All five species.”

Larry Maple, the original organizer with Becky Ellis, looked pretty beat up. He had a bladder taken out and replace, then a swollen lymph gland that they just drained three weeks ago. He looks thin and weak.

Tony Fox came up and asked for her flowers and honey. I plain forgot. She hugged me to her now ample bosom and gave me a kiss.

After a bit more like that, they organized us for the homecoming parade. We had a float which consisted of a flat bed trailer with hay bales and a few chairs. About 20 of us got on and rode 670class-of-1965-floatthrough town doing the wave and old Alexandria Tigers cheers. Along the way we played remember what used to be there along Harrison Avenue, many of the store fronts are empty and only Cox’s Supermarket and Broyle’s furniture remain of the businesses from our childhood: The Rexall Drug Store, Danners, Murphys, PN Hirsch, Bailey’s pharmacy, Furman’s, Baumgartners, Mahoney’s.

It was fun and bittersweet, being with old friends, childhood friends, sharing memories but noticing that this was our 45th reunion, lots of gray hair, 20% of the class now dead.

After the parade wound its way out to the newer Alexandria High School, Larry Etchison drove us back into town. We got our cars and drove out to the curve. I saw Bill Kildow. Geez. Been a real long time. His brother, Steve, was in my class, but Bill and I had a special bond. It was good to see him. The Kildow’s lived on Monroe Street in the late 50’s and so did I.

We sat around swapping stories. Where do you live now? What do you do? Any grandkids? You have great grandchildren! Louie Bender, extroverted as ever, went up and hugged a woman, said, “Tamara, Don’t you remember me? Louis Bender.” It wasn’t Tamara.

October 2nd. A laundromat across from what used to be the Roller Rink, at one time the best in the nation and site of national competitions. Now it’s an Eagles. The only skating is, as someone said last night, “after there’s been a lot of drinking.”

Breakfast this morning at the Maxon cafeteria, just across from the Western Hotel. It serves guests and residents of Chesterfield. At the table I talked with two women, professors of Spanish and Spanish Literature at Depauw, one from Colombia and the other from Argentina, Buenos Aires. They had a similar reaction to the Camp, about which they’d known nothing before they got there. It’s a great setting for a book, like being back in the 19th century, down to the little floral decals on the light bulb holder in the bathroom.

“I’m interested in how people form their worlds,” I said, “And this is a particular world. We all have them, but here the line are so clear.” After I said that, I realized it was exactly what I’m interested in, how people form, give definition to their weltenschaung. How do you become and sustain a belief in spiritualism, in the non-physical plane? You have to ignore or explain away a lot of evidence to the contrary.

After breakfast, it was back to the Alexandria Historical Society for coffee and another meet up. I looked at a 1965 spectrum, our yearbook. Gee, it was a long time ago. A lot of things were different back then. I had hair. Juvenile delinquency was a problem. Remember j.d.’s? How innocent, almost quaint they seem in light of rap music, meth and general ornerynesss of our time.

Steve Kildow had a huge tent with catered food and lots of booze. A lot folks were there including Jerry Ferguson, who looked a lot different, enough that I didn’t recognize him. Steve lives two miles west of town off Hwy 28, a big spread with a fancy house and lots of horses. Steve looks like he enjoys his groceries.

Now I’m at the laundromat, getting enough clean clothes together for the rest of the trip. I decided to spend this time to pack a bit—a lot—lighter. I’m glad I did. Well, the dryers are coming to a stop and I have folding and rolling to do.

Booming One More Time

Fall                                 Waning Back to School Moon

Metro Lounge                  Union Station

This is the first class lounge, folks who’ve bought rooms.  My next trip to Lafayette had no rooms, but I convinced the lady here to let me in since I had rooms on the Empire builder both ways.

Old folks pass by, some in the early years of aging, like me, others in the thin, papery skin and tottering walk phase.  How many of them in the former, I wonder, marched in Washington, fought for student rights, worked hard to end the Vietnam war, protested to achieve civil rights for African-Americans?  Age and accommodation hide the former marks of my kind, the long hair, the frayed jeans, the combat boots, the green book bags, the peace symbol pins,the flower print dresses and plaited hair.

We walk past each other, joined by other links, the cane, the gray hair, balding pates, bum knees, expanded middles.  Makes me think of another addition to symbolic logic:  the law of the expanded middle.

One of our own, Tom Brokaw, wrote a book, the Greatest Generation, talking up the folks of the WWII era as saviors of our culture.  Maybe they were, I don’t know, history is difficult to judge; but, the next spate of articles and books focused on how the Baby Boomers are not the Greatest Generation.  Somehow we have failed to live up to pundits self-made expectations of us.  Balderdash.

An article this month in the Atlantic offers a guide as to how we can retrieve our lost promise by solving the economic crisis at home.  C’mon.  A minimum sized group of greedy bastards almost sunk the American economy, a breed that, like the poor, has always been with us.  It is the chattering class that needs to fix the economy and they’ve worked at it in fits and starts.  The economy never was our forte.

No,we fought our battles for change at the level of the personal,the local, the national foreign policy level, not in the canyons of wall street or the board rooms of the Forbes 500.  We challenged US military policy so successfully that a generation of military leaders has vowed never again to make the same mistakes as Vietnam.  We supported the African-American community among us and Lyndon Johnson in a push for civil rights.  Women and men of our generation took the gender controversy into our private lives, struggling for a just place for women one bag of garbage, one diaper and one sink full of dishes at a time.

We have had our share, more than our share, of brilliant scientists and innovative artists.

Where we still have a big opportunity is not in the stock market or its ancillary phenomenon like the Department of Treasury.  No, our opportunity lies in the self same area we did early work in during the 60’s when we took the advice of such gurus as Scott and Helen Nearing and tried to go “back to the land.”

Climate change, local food, energy independence, forest and water health, these are the areas where our generation can still act and act forcefully, this time for the future of the unborn generations who will suffer from the profligacy of our time.  We know how to use the levers of popular power.  We know how important it is to speak truth to power and to use our personal lives as leverage in the pursuit of deep social change.

I hope we take the challenge and begin to acknowledge each other in the metro lounges and streets and lobbies and town halls and legislatures of our country.

Stories Straight from the Shoulder

Fall                                           Waning Back to School Moon

Writing bounces up off city streets, whizzes down from building tops and comes straight from the shoulder of each person on the street.  Each person walks by trailing a life time of stories, agony, love, joy, despair, fear, exultation.  I can feel them as I wander these streets of Chicago, these stories.  They make a walk thick with meaning and feeling, so many stories walking past each other, not knowing the narrative of the other.  We are a universe, those of us walking here on Wabash Avenue under the el.

Each building has a story, too.  The ambition of the people who conceived it, the gritty world of those who built it and the disconnected worlds of those who inhabit it.   Theodore Dreiser found a compelling story in the elevated railroads and the tycoon who built them  The Haymarket riot.  Saul Alinsky.  Rockefeller and the founding of the University of Chicago.

No wonder stories fall off the trees here like ripe fruit.

I’ve not had enough time here.  I need a week, maybe two, a chance to slow down and make my pace synch with the city, not feel rushed by the train, by getting here and there, having those movements compressed by the demands of travel on, headed somewhere else.

Chicken Pot Pies and Memories

Fall                                                 Waning Back to School Moon

Before the Vikings game on Sunday I made two chicken pot pies, whole pies filled with chicken, vegetables and a thickened vegetable broth made in the process.  These are my second and third meat pies and I find I enjoy making them as much as I do soup.  Something about baking a pie that has meat and vegetables intrigues me.  This one had our leeks, potatoes, onions, carrots, garlic, parsley and thyme.  My favorite vegetable from this garden is the leek.  The subtle flavor and the delicate flesh of the leek both appeal to my palate.

Here are a few of the ingredients plus a tomato and raspberries from our garden.  This potato looks similar to the woman of la mouthe in the MIA’s collection.  At least to my eye.670_0300 Fresh ingredients are key to Italian, Chinese and vegetarian cooking so a garden facilitates those cuisines, at least during the harvest system.  Our best meals of the summer happen in September.

Visiting Westminster today brought up all kinds of memories.  Don Meisel, former head pastor, came into the men’s room once during a Presbytery meeting.  I had a report on top of the urinal, reading it.  Don said, “My, you must get a lot of work done.”  Presbyterian humor. Another surprising Don Meisel moment.  There on the wall of a hallway was the exact same Granlund sculpture, the Tree of Life, that I bought Kate for her 50th birthday.  Don had given it to the church in memory of his wife.

Jim Campbell’s name came up, too.  Jim was a top exec of Northwest Bank and a leader on the Community Involvement Program’s board.  I worked at CIP for 4+ years, starting as a janitor and week-end staff person during seminary and moving up to Director of Residential programs.  Jim came to me at one point and asked if I would take on directing both the Residential programs and the Day Activity Centers.  I thought about it and said no.  That surprised him, I could tell.  It surprised me a bit, too.  I had no interest then or later in advancement, even though I did end up as an Associate Executive Presbyter.

Then, the chapel.  What a peaceful space,  a definite English feel to it wood, limestone, slate floor, a beautiful organ.  Wilson Yates, then professor of society and religion at United Seminary, married Raeone and me in that chapel in 1979.  Ed Berryman, the organist, refused to play the music we wanted.  I don’t remember what it was.  We had Handel’s Water Music.  Ed liked it.

There were, too, many mornings of bible study with urban clergy in the now much renovated basement area.  Bible study was always one of the fun parts because Presbyterian clergy pride themselves on their scholarly ability.

Well, off to bed.  Gotta catch the Empire Builder at 7:30 am.

The Great Wheel

Lughnasa                                                       Waxing Back to School Moon

Tomorrow we move into the fall equinox position on our yearly orbit.  In this sense time recurs again and again and again, each spot on the orbit revisited as Earth passes along on its ancientrail.  Of course, the orbit changes slightly each year and the solar system moves further and further away from the center of our galaxy, so in a strict sense the spots are not quite the same, but from a terrestrial perspective over the span of a human life, the differences are not noticeable.  Birthdays point as much to a specific point on Earth’s track around the sun as they do to a “time.”  Our age, which we consider linear, really counts the number of times the Earth has revolved around the sun since our birth, not linear at all, but elliptical.

Tom Crane said last night that he and Roxann climb a hill at the Arboretum and each time they see a tree.  At one point the tree has bare branches, at another leaves, at another flowers and fruit, colors change at yet another point.  It feels linear, but, wait…the colors change, the tree has bare branches, then leaves, then flowers and fruit and again the leaves change color.

As he spoke, I thought of our circle, made sacred now by 20 years of showing up, how our hair has gone gray, our flesh taken on wrinkles and on some of us, a few pounds.  Again, it feels linear, this aging process.  Then, the conversation turned to grandchildren who will crawl, walk on two legs, then three, just as the Sphinx had riddled.  Within our species the childhood, maturity, aging repeats over and over again as the fleshly vessel sloughs off, but its genetic information goes on.

Delighted

Lughnasa                                                      Waxing Back to School Moon

In the company of old men.  A surprising event occurred tonight among the Woolly Mammoths.  We had an evening of delight.  Warren raised this interesting topic and as it went round the room in our usual whoever wants to talk jump in and do so style, a congruence began to emerge.  Each of us reported more awareness of delights or miracles (see below) in our lives.  They ranged from grandchildren, whose every action delights us, to fly fishing and feeling the water around the legs, working on the Mississippi for twelve hours a day, dogs thumping and jumping when we come home, poetry, not having to perform anymore, just playing the music, sex, bees and honey and the Landscape Arboretum.  As we each offered up those things that delight us, it became apparent that most of us (all of us?) have entered a phase of life where external success has become a muted to extinguished need and instead we find ourselves driven by the inner life, by receptivity and acceptance.

Though it was, in one sense, comforting and even encouraging to hear this more relaxed, old folks with their feet up on the cracker barrel sort of ambiance, it seemed a bit too happy, a bit distanced from pain.  Just as this thought crossed my mind the conversation shifted to cremation, to place, in part spurred by one of us who talked about visits to West Virginia, to the hill top church where his grandfather had served his first and his last pastorate, a place where he’s buried and other members of the family, too.  This physical location, this place on a hill top in West Virginia, felt rooted, felt his, helped him feel grounded.

The cremation conversation moved along wondering about rootedness, about sense of place, about visits, though occasional, to parents burial plots.  Where will those who want to remember us go?  I mentioned green cemeteries and natural burial.  We will probably revisit this discussion.  It has an interesting relationship to something that intrigues me, something University of Wisconsin Madison geographer, Yi-Fu Tuan, called Topophilia.  All of this dovetails into a taoist perspective, or at least a taoist perspective as I understand it.