Category Archives: Family

Family, Minnesota, Park County, Travel, Writing

Jackhammer Day

September 14, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

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compressor_and_jackhammer_for_drilling_rock_preparatory_to_shooting_explosives_lassen_national_forest_california_3226898238 — compressor and jackhammer for drilling rock preparatory to shooting explosives lassen national forest california OSU archives

Yesterday was jackhammer day. Gonzalez and Eduardo deconstructed our downstairs bathroom, leaving the studs, drains and electrical. Looks very small. In addition to removing the former tile, the jackhammer work also prepares the way for an adequate slope for shower drainage. The drainage will be achieved by a fixture all along the far side of the shower, a tiny metal ditch that slopes toward the drain.

20160914_090641 Kate had Bailey Patchworkers for most of the day and I spent the day up in the loft with the dogs, so the jackhammering didn’t bother us. This will be worth it, but remodeling is never easy since by definition it has to take place where you live.

I rented my car yesterday. Now I have to find a reasonably priced place to stay. There are plenty of options, though most of them are not located where I want to be. A task for today. Later, a trip to the library for audio books, one of the fun parts of a long drive.

Still hitting my marks for Superior Wolf. I’m at right at 40,000 words, almost half way. I’m feeling very good about it so far. I’ll continue working on it on the road.

Family, Jefferson County, Mountains, Our Land and Home, Shadow Mountain, Weather +Climate

Fog, Bath and Beyond

September 13, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

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misty morning May 31 The clouds are at 8,800 feet this morning. We’re surrounded by and inside them. A foggy start to the day.

Bear Creek Design starts work today on our redesigned bathroom. It’s an aging in place design with a zero entry shower. With no bathtub and no rail for a shower door we will be able to use this shower with a walker if we ever need to. Also, less likely to trip. We don’t need it now, but when we do, it will already be done.

Kate gets a new crown today. I asked how many that made for her now and she said, “More than sit on monarchs in Europe.” That Kate.

In the latest divorce news wrangling over specifics has produced: zilch. If Jon and Jen can’t agree through their lawyers, then they will have to go to court on Friday. A judge will decide what will be in the temporary orders. Temporary orders cover things like custody, decision-making authority, sale of the house. The final divorce decree has been rescheduled, now probably sometime in November. This whole process began formally in May.

Aging, Beyond the Boundaries, Commentary on Religion, Faith and Spirituality, Family, Humanities, Jefferson County, Reimagine. Reconstruct. Reenchant.

Living Consciously

September 9, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

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Two great quotes yesterday. One from our mussar group: I never saw a U-Haul trailer behind a hearse. The second from a comment on a NYT article on the meaning of life: You say No Matter, I say Never Mind.

Mussar. It’s September, the days are cooling down and years of Septembers have me getting ready to accelerate my study. This year a focus will be mussar.

Mussar is defined here by Rabbi Ira Stone, of the Mussar Leadership Program: “The most accurate translation of the word mussar into English is “discipline,” defined in all three ways we use the word in English. Mussar defines a discrete area of study, like the discipline of physics. It describes a practice, as in “it takes discipline to practice piano every day.” It also describes the act of correcting behavior, as in “you must discipline the child.””

In our study of the Way of the Just, begun yesterday at Congregation Beth Evergreen (CBE) and led by Rabbi Jamie Arnold, we talked about the purpose of life. Rabbi Jamie offered what he said was a traditional Jewish perspective: Experience happiness fully. Experience sadness fully. And in the times between be content. Works for me.

It feels good to have some anchors in Evergreen now. Our work with Bear Creek Design will introduce us to the contractors who do work for them. Kate’s study of Hebrew and our mutual study of mussar has begun to open up relationships at CBE for CBE. This means Evergreen is no longer a destination only for restaurants and shopping, but also for community.

Art and Culture, Family, Jefferson County, Mountains, The West

Printmaking and a Dead Elk

September 8, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

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20160907_180656 Spent another evening at Montview Elementary with Jon, Ruth and Gabe. We ate a light supper of foods selected at King Sooper (grocery store chain here), then began to make more prints. Ruth has gotten into the spirit of found objects used as surfaces for print making. She bought some things at Goodwill to print: a leaf shaped metal serving dish and a small metal kitchen utensil that looks surprisingly like a giraffe when inked. I printed another spoon, gray-white this time. Gabe made wheeled objects with something like tinker-toys.

The whole divorce matter, which moves like boulders pressed underneath a glacier, slowly and with a lot of friction, has begun to move into more hopeful territory. But the pace. Lawyers love proposals and counter proposals. Sometimes it feels like the lawyers have oppositional defiance disorder. If you say yes, I say no. If you say up, I say down. Very frustrating. Not to mention expensive. Still, the glimmers of a positive solution appeared yesterday.

After the printmaking, Jen picked up Ruth and Gabe. I headed over to I-70, turned onto it going west and drove into this amazing sunset. The mountain silhouette in the evenings often looks like a Potemkin village, a prop set against the backdrop of a falling sun. This night it was something.

Kate was in Evergreen at the Beau Thai restaurant, waiting on me for a ride home. She had completed her first class in an 18 week Hebrew class at Beth Evergreen. After I picked her up, we got on the familiar Colorado 74, one of two main highways, 73 and 74, that intersect in Evergreen. At the base of a long hill there were three fire trucks and a police car parked in the middle of the road.

bull with water lily September 2015 in Evergreen

The elk crossing sign had been flashing yellow as we descended. This is the month of the rut so elk behavior is not as predictable as at other times. When we moved around the nearest fire engine, a yellow and chrome vehicle from Evergreen Fire, I looked to my left and saw two black helmeted, yellow uniformed fire fighters bent over, pulling. They had a large elk doe by the feet and were dragging her away from a Toyota Rav4 that had hit her. Shattered safety glass dotted her path across the highway.

Sad.

Family, Mountains

Family Matters

September 4, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

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We’re hoping for some clarity in the divorce after a hearing with the two lawyers, the Colorado Family Investigator and the judge. It happens on Tuesday, Sept. 6th. An outline of custody arrangements plus some movement on the selling of the house on Pontiac Street in Denver should result. These will be temporary orders. The final orders, barring need for a trial (acchh!), will come in October.

Meanwhile the current custody arrangements have us seeing the grandkids every weekend plus Wednesday evenings. The regularity of these visits has increased our level of intimacy with the kids, allowing a bit of a rhythm to develop. Yesterday Jon and I took Gabe and Ruth to Arapahoe Basin, known simply as A-Basin to skiing aficionados.

This was Ruth’s idea. She wanted to hike where she’s been, “…skiing for seven years.” That’s 70% of her life.

And so we did.

20160903_111835

Commentary on Religion, Faith and Spirituality, Family, Jefferson County, Reimagine. Reconstruct. Reenchant.

Mussar. More.

September 2, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

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Moshe Chaim Luzzatto (ramhal) Wall painting in Acre, Israel

Yesterday in our Midday Mussar gathering we chose a book for study during the next year, The Path of the Just, “the Mesillat Yesharim an ethical (musar) text composed by the influential Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto (1707-1746).” Amazon tagline for the book.

I was in favor of using this text because Mordecai Kaplan, an early 20th century rabbi who founded the Reconstructionist Movement in Judaism, translated it in 1936. Studying his translation of this key mussar volume will help me understand the Reconstructionists as well as the spiritual practice of mussar. A twofer.

Though I have little use anymore for God (and, yes, if he/she exists, he/she may not have use for me anymore), spirituality and the search for a good and compassionate life are still critically important to me.

This mussar class is, too, something Kate and I attend together. It’s good to have a spiritual discipline, an ethical path to discuss and practice. The class itself provides us with some exposure to more mountain folk, increasing the possibility that I will eventually find a friend or two up here.

Dogs, Family, Shadow Mountain

Contested

August 29, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

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In Colorado, in instances of contested divorces, the court has the right to appoint a family investigator. Celia, a CFI, Colorado Family Investigator, came to Shadow Mountain at 9 am yesterday. Jon, Ruth and Gabe were all here since this was a Jon weekend. Kate and I had a private conversation with her. She also took time to have conversations with the kids, Gabe pretty easily, Ruth more reluctantly. Jon and Celia have spoken at length prior to this.

The CFI’s primary responsibility is to advise the court on optimal custody and decision making arrangements. The key criteria is the best interest of the children. In Jon and Jen’s instance, where Jen wants full decision making and 12 days of custody to 2 of Jon’s, it’s clear some outside eyes are necessary.

Somehow the morning developed an ad hoc paper airplane making and flying contest. Ruth bought several pieces of paper up to the loft and she, Gabe and I folded planes on the art cart top Jon’s still finishing. Once we each had a plane or two, we took them out to the loft’s deck, maybe 10-12 feet off the ground and sailed them into the backyard. This prompted more paper airplane folding, more launches, a few trips downstairs to retrieve spent planes.

Ruth’s planes, which had small wings at the back, flew best, some doing loop de loops, others sailing for some distance. She helped me fold one like hers, saying, “I’ve taught a lot of people how to make paper airplanes.”

Celia participated, too. After this, Ruth opened up and showed Celia her portfolio. The portfolio is a required component of the application process to Denver’s School of the Arts. Ruth can enter in the sixth grade, so she applies this year. Her portfolio includes drawings, prints, and painting.

After Celia left, Ruth and I made a candle from the wax melted while burning a larger candle, a sort of recycled candle. I don’t know quite how to capture the texture of our afternoon together, but it was fun. We watched about half of Avatar, sat on the couch with Rigel on the couch, her head in Ruth’s lap. We talked, about books, about art.

She and Kate made rice krispy treats, one batch the usual rice krispy tan, the other Ruth’s chosen color, turquoise. She brought me a plate with one of each. They were good.

A fine meal together, steak and roasted potatoes and broccoli, lots of laughing, then the kids had to head back to Denver.

Cinema and Television, Family

It Had Me At Sad Eyes

August 28, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

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Jon and I picked up the kids yesterday at 4 p.m., then went over to Colorado Mills for a movie, Pete’s Dragon. In some ways it’s a thin story with little complexity in the plot line, but it has the virtue of a dragon with fur, one that acts like an Irish Wolfhound. With the dog/dragon hook it had me at sad eyes and dragon protects vulnerable boy. It tugs the heart.

I did wonder, based on a sample size of 2 recent movies, about the role of nature in children’s movies. In both BFG (big friendly giant) and Pete’s Dragon the world outside cities and towns has a romantic purity, a place where dreams are collected, BFG, and a place where dragons and four-year olds can survive and play together for years unnoticed. In both cases the children return to the human dominated world as the movie ends, but retain an affection for the hidden home of the giants, BFG, and the forest in the north where dragons can be.

These tales of the wild turned protector may reflect our deepest wishes about the natural world outside the built environment. We want the mountains and the forests to be safe places, congenial to humanity, places we can retreat to when we have the need. As John Muir said, “Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized people are beginning to find out that going to the mountains is going home; that wildness is a necessity; and that mountain parks and reservations are useful not only as fountains of timber and irrigating rivers, but as fountains of life.”

Both Gabe and Ruth thought Elliot, the dragon, acted like our Rigel. They were right.

The divorce drags on, drawing a deep harrow across the former lives of all of us it touches. It may wrap up in about six weeks, at least by dissolving the marriage and reaching agreements on key issues like custody, decision making for the kids and sale of the Pontiac Street house. But even that moment, the final divorce hearing, only marks the beginning of a long, long process.

Gabe is 8 and Ruth is 10. They will live their childhood shuttling between homes. Jon and Jen will have to establish new homes, engage life as single parents, yet have to negotiate the mutual terrain of the kids lives. None of this will be easy given the acrimony that has marked the ending of this marriage.

Having raised a boy in this very way, I can testify to its problematic though my relationship with Raeone was more civil all along. Life is hard, then you get divorced.

Art and Culture, Family, Weather +Climate

Making Things

August 25, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

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As the weather cools down, the work level goes up for this former Minnesotan. One thing Kate and I have always agreed on is that cool is better than hot. How much cool, not always, but temps trending down, but not up? Delightful. And so it is here right now. 40 this morning at 7:00 am. Orion, too, rises with the morning sky, bringing with him the change toward fall.

Yesterday was busy. Writing: ancientrails, Superior Wolf, Reimagining Faith. Workout. Into Denver for Wednesday dinner and art with the grandkids. After eating at Minnesota’s own Famous Dave’s restaurant, we went back to Montview Elementary and made prints.

Here are a few photos of the experience.

jon's found objects — jon’s found objects

mointview gabe — Gabe inking up an object to print

Colorado, Family, Mountains, Park County

A Colorado Tuesday

August 24, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

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Went to the Shaggy Sheep yesterday, about 10 miles west of Bailey in Grant. One of the real joys of living up here is the chance to choose a place like this for our weekly business meeting. The drive through the Platte Canyon, starting in Bailey and continuing to the Kenosha pass about 20 miles west of the Shaggy Sheep is beautiful. Mountain meadows with horses and cattle. Old resorts like the Glen Isle. Rocky mountain sides covered with pines. The North Fork of the South Platte a constant running presence near Hwy 285. An Orvis recommended dude ranch. Santa Maria YMCA camp. Gravel roads snaking up into the mountains.

Also stopped by the Happy Camper on the way back to pick up some THC edibles. We now have to ring a doorbell to get inside. “To regulate the flow,” said a guy, maybe the owner sitting in the shop. He and a guy playing a guitar were lounging. Mine was the only car in the parking lot, so at that moment I represented the entire flow.

The young woman who helped me asked me if I had anything fun going on this Tuesday, “Buying dope,” I said. She smiled. “It’s a lot easier this way than when I was young,” I went on. She got a cute smile on her face, “Yeah, you don’t have to be so sneaky!”

A Colorado Monday.