Category Archives: Family

Contested

August 29, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

Lugnasa Superior Wolf Moon

In Colorado, in instances of contested divorces, the court has the right to appoint a family investigator. Celia, a CFI, Colorado Family Investigator, came to Shadow Mountain at 9 am yesterday. Jon, Ruth and Gabe were all here since this was a Jon weekend. Kate and I had a private conversation with her. She also took time to have conversations with the kids, Gabe pretty easily, Ruth more reluctantly. Jon and Celia have spoken at length prior to this.

The CFI’s primary responsibility is to advise the court on optimal custody and decision making arrangements. The key criteria is the best interest of the children. In Jon and Jen’s instance, where Jen wants full decision making and 12 days of custody to 2 of Jon’s, it’s clear some outside eyes are necessary.

Somehow the morning developed an ad hoc paper airplane making and flying contest. Ruth bought several pieces of paper up to the loft and she, Gabe and I folded planes on the art cart top Jon’s still finishing. Once we each had a plane or two, we took them out to the loft’s deck, maybe 10-12 feet off the ground and sailed them into the backyard. This prompted more paper airplane folding, more launches, a few trips downstairs to retrieve spent planes.

Ruth’s planes, which had small wings at the back, flew best, some doing loop de loops, others sailing for some distance. She helped me fold one like hers, saying, “I’ve taught a lot of people how to make paper airplanes.”

Celia participated, too. After this, Ruth opened up and showed Celia her portfolio. The portfolio is a required component of the application process to Denver’s School of the Arts. Ruth can enter in the sixth grade, so she applies this year. Her portfolio includes drawings, prints, and painting.

After Celia left, Ruth and I made a candle from the wax melted while burning a larger candle, a sort of recycled candle. I don’t know quite how to capture the texture of our afternoon together, but it was fun. We watched about half of Avatar, sat on the couch with Rigel on the couch, her head in Ruth’s lap. We talked, about books, about art.

She and Kate made rice krispy treats, one batch the usual rice krispy tan, the other Ruth’s chosen color, turquoise. She brought me a plate with one of each. They were good.

A fine meal together, steak and roasted potatoes and broccoli, lots of laughing, then the kids had to head back to Denver.

Cinema and Television, Family

It Had Me At Sad Eyes

August 28, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

Lugnasa Superior Wolf Moon

Jon and I picked up the kids yesterday at 4 p.m., then went over to Colorado Mills for a movie, Pete’s Dragon. In some ways it’s a thin story with little complexity in the plot line, but it has the virtue of a dragon with fur, one that acts like an Irish Wolfhound. With the dog/dragon hook it had me at sad eyes and dragon protects vulnerable boy. It tugs the heart.

I did wonder, based on a sample size of 2 recent movies, about the role of nature in children’s movies. In both BFG (big friendly giant) and Pete’s Dragon the world outside cities and towns has a romantic purity, a place where dreams are collected, BFG, and a place where dragons and four-year olds can survive and play together for years unnoticed. In both cases the children return to the human dominated world as the movie ends, but retain an affection for the hidden home of the giants, BFG, and the forest in the north where dragons can be.

These tales of the wild turned protector may reflect our deepest wishes about the natural world outside the built environment. We want the mountains and the forests to be safe places, congenial to humanity, places we can retreat to when we have the need. As John Muir said, “Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized people are beginning to find out that going to the mountains is going home; that wildness is a necessity; and that mountain parks and reservations are useful not only as fountains of timber and irrigating rivers, but as fountains of life.”

Both Gabe and Ruth thought Elliot, the dragon, acted like our Rigel. They were right.

The divorce drags on, drawing a deep harrow across the former lives of all of us it touches. It may wrap up in about six weeks, at least by dissolving the marriage and reaching agreements on key issues like custody, decision making for the kids and sale of the Pontiac Street house. But even that moment, the final divorce hearing, only marks the beginning of a long, long process.

Gabe is 8 and Ruth is 10. They will live their childhood shuttling between homes. Jon and Jen will have to establish new homes, engage life as single parents, yet have to negotiate the mutual terrain of the kids lives. None of this will be easy given the acrimony that has marked the ending of this marriage.

Having raised a boy in this very way, I can testify to its problematic though my relationship with Raeone was more civil all along. Life is hard, then you get divorced.

Art and Culture, Family, Weather +Climate

Making Things

August 25, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

Lugnasa Superior Moon

As the weather cools down, the work level goes up for this former Minnesotan. One thing Kate and I have always agreed on is that cool is better than hot. How much cool, not always, but temps trending down, but not up? Delightful. And so it is here right now. 40 this morning at 7:00 am. Orion, too, rises with the morning sky, bringing with him the change toward fall.

Yesterday was busy. Writing: ancientrails, Superior Wolf, Reimagining Faith. Workout. Into Denver for Wednesday dinner and art with the grandkids. After eating at Minnesota’s own Famous Dave’s restaurant, we went back to Montview Elementary and made prints.

Here are a few photos of the experience.

jon's found objects — jon’s found objects

mointview gabe — Gabe inking up an object to print

Colorado, Family, Mountains, Park County

A Colorado Tuesday

August 24, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

Lugnasa Superior Wolf Moon

Went to the Shaggy Sheep yesterday, about 10 miles west of Bailey in Grant. One of the real joys of living up here is the chance to choose a place like this for our weekly business meeting. The drive through the Platte Canyon, starting in Bailey and continuing to the Kenosha pass about 20 miles west of the Shaggy Sheep is beautiful. Mountain meadows with horses and cattle. Old resorts like the Glen Isle. Rocky mountain sides covered with pines. The North Fork of the South Platte a constant running presence near Hwy 285. An Orvis recommended dude ranch. Santa Maria YMCA camp. Gravel roads snaking up into the mountains.

Also stopped by the Happy Camper on the way back to pick up some THC edibles. We now have to ring a doorbell to get inside. “To regulate the flow,” said a guy, maybe the owner sitting in the shop. He and a guy playing a guitar were lounging. Mine was the only car in the parking lot, so at that moment I represented the entire flow.

The young woman who helped me asked me if I had anything fun going on this Tuesday, “Buying dope,” I said. She smiled. “It’s a lot easier this way than when I was young,” I went on. She got a cute smile on her face, “Yeah, you don’t have to be so sneaky!”

A Colorado Monday.

Art and Culture, Family, Music

Family Time

August 21, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

Lugnasa Superior Wolf Moon

Gabe and Ruth were up here yesterday, bringing their peculiar brand of energy and enthusiasms. Gabe tried to go fishing for dogs again with a stick tied to twine. He found the pruners, wanting to cut a stick for a reason I couldn’t understand, but it was important to him. After laying the pruners down, and watching Rigel walk around him, this hemophiliac said, “Rigel’s really clever. She knows how to walk past sharp things.”

Ruth came up to the loft and ate a sandwich she made, “Two cheeses, four meats and dijonnaise!” When grandma asked her if she wanted to help make peach pickles, Ruth said, “Well, I know how to make pickles, but I don’t know how to peel peaches.” So she helped. She is a sponge, soaking up Kate’s sewing skills and cooking skills. Reading books from my library and ones she gets on her own. Learning printmaking techniques from her dad as she prepares her portfolio for DSA, Denver School of the Arts. 10.

Apres le grandkids Jon and Kate and I went into Dazzle Jazz in downtown Denver to hear Roberta Gambarini. She’s very skilled. This was the next to last event in Kate’s birthday month. She has a present coming on Monday from Jon.

Family, Jefferson County, Our Land and Home, Shadow Mountain, Weather +Climate

Hail and Lightning

August 20, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

Lugnasa Superior Wolf Moon

37 this morning and small piles of hail still scattered around look like snow. Two solar panels have a blanket of hail still on them from yesterday afternoon. We had a gully washer with lightning that seemed right over our heads. Gertie and Rigel stayed close, real close. The rain was welcome.

A transmission line went down in the storm and our generator chugged to life, powering us for a couple of hours while IREA worked to get the power back on. Though it took me over a year, I’m glad we persevered and got the generator hooked up and working. No lights is one thing, no water is quite another.

Brother Mark has finished a year’s worth of teaching with one longish break. He has two weeks of training in Jubail, Saudi Arabia, then he’s off until November. As he put it, he’s heading “to the further East” for some r&r.

The grandkids are here today, but just for the day. Afterward, Jon, Kate and I are going into Dazzle Jazz to listen to Roberta Gambarini. We go in around 5:30 or 6:00 since seating is first come, first served for all 7:00 p.m. shows. They have an interesting menu so we eat before the performance. The jazz scene here is vibrant, lots of opportunity to see local and national performers.

Commentary on Religion, Faith and Spirituality, Family, Jefferson County, Reimagine. Reconstruct. Reenchant.

A Ploy of the Devil?

August 19, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

Lugnasa Superior Wolf Moon

A taste of fall here. 42 degrees right now and cool weather tomorrow, too. A soaking rain yesterday.

Step-son Jon took Kate and me out to Carra Viejta, a Mexican spot just off 285 at Windy Point. Kate’s birthday. Good food and good company. Jon’s in much better spirits these days as the divorce moves closer to resolution.

Kate and I drove over to Congregation Beth Evergreen yesterday for another session of mussar, led by Rabbi Jamie Arnold. Over the last three weeks we’ve been discussing possible texts to use as the basis for study over the next year. One more this next Thursday. The three texts so far are: The Palm Tree of Deborah, the Way of the Tzaddikim and the Way of the Just. These are completely unfamiliar to me, which makes them interesting.

I get surprised occasionally. Jamie said yesterday, “We’ll have to see what our ancestors saw in these texts.” Not my ancestors. It’s interesting to be in but not of the conversation, I like it. Also, when the conversation turns toward G-d, I stop internally. I have to engage in a reconfiguration of the idea. What does G-d mean to the author here? Does the idea bring anything unique to the conversation or does it serve as a placeholder for something like: This is really important; or, take this seriously, dude; or, this is the best we could do in figuring out why should we believe this; or, this idea links us to all those in our 5,000 + year history who have believed this.

My impatience with religions of revelation has not waned. Revelation, word and practices with the imprimatur of divinity, has created so much bloodshed, so much cocksure wrongheadedness, so much diminution of the other that it seems like the opposite of what it claims to be. If there were a devil, it would be a clever ploy to create texts reputedly authored by God and spiked with so much absolutism that adherents to the texts would consider themselves an exclusively correct clan.

Outside dogmatic adherence to the idea of revelation most religious traditions have also devoted a lot of thought and practice to the question of the good life. How might we live? What are behaviors that respect all of G-d’s universe? How can we navigate the often muddy waters of our inner life? This is mussar. And kabbalah. And lectio divina. And the Way of the Pilgrim. And meditation. And the four noble truths. And the Tao Te Ching. These approaches to life as we live it here and now are among the great gifts of the world religions. They distill the wisdom of generations of sophisticated and nuanced thinkers, practitioners. It feels good to be learning another one.

Family, Holidays

Kate. Happy Birthday.

August 17, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

Lugnasa Superior Wolf Moon

Life has odd turns, none for me odder than renewing my season subscription at the St. Paul Chamber Orchestra in 1988 and finding my soul mate. As some of you know, we met there, dated for a couple of years, then got married in 1990.

We’ve traveled the world together, starting with Europe in March of 1990 as we followed spring north from Rome, all the way to Inverness, the capital of the Highlands in northern Scotland.

We’ve had three homes together, each one unique in its own way, but common in our commitment to make them places for family and for creativity.

Kate has been a nurse, a nurse anesthetist, a pediatrician and now a seamstress and quilter. She’s bright, obviously, completing the NYT crossword every morning, for example.

In our retirement we share a passion for dogs, gardening and bees, for jazz as well as classical music. Kate cans, dries and freezes food. She’s a gourmet cook. Her grasp of numbers is impressive.

When Jon got married and had kids, part of our life turned toward the west, toward the mountains, toward Denver. That pull, grandkidtropic, eventually convinced us to leave over 40 years in Minnesota and move out here to Shadow Mountain. Now she’s grandma, enjoying the lives of Ruth and Gabe, teaching them what she knows, loving them.

Kate, the love of my life, the wife I needed but took some time to find, is 72 tomorrow. And living every day. Every day. Even the ones with staggering inertia.

Aging, Art and Culture, Family, Friends, Jefferson County, Shadow Mountain, Third Phase, Woolly Mammoths, Writing

Acts of Creation

August 17, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

Lugnasa Superior Wolf Moon

Just to let you know that the Superior Wolf Moon daily reminder has been working. I’m over 17,000 words into this new novel. It feels like some of the best work I’ve done. Of course, I always think that at the beginning of a project.

Kate’s birthday is tomorrow. 72. She works as hard now as she did when I first met her though she may not be able to sustain the work as long as she could. Neither can I. She’s remarkable and I’ll have a birthday post for her later today.

On Friday, buddy Mark Odegard has his “Bridges of the Mississippi” opening. He’s been working for the last year or so on this wonderful print series. It’s a contemporary, jazzy look at these important connectors. We think of crossing the Mississippi every day as a non-event, usually. And that’s because of these bridges that he has memorialized. They’re the often ignored civil engineering projects that make the Twin Cities possible. He’s made a unique contribution to our seeing them, an artist’s true task, sharpening and nuancing our perceptions of the world around us.

On a similar note, Jon Olson, step-son and art teacher, has developed a unique print making style that utilizes found, crushed metal objects. He picks them up from the sides of highways and streets, brings them here or to his art classroom in Aurora, inks them up and runs them through a press. In this way he’s printing directly from the object, like Mark, sharpening and nuancing our perceptions of the world around us.

Family

Staggering Inertia

August 16, 2016 Charles Leave a comment

Lughnasa Superior Wolf Moon

Yesterday Kate told me, “I have staggering inertia.” A deft turn of phrase. The grandkids make our house lively, upend our daily routines and give us multiple opportunities to love them in the moment. They also tire out these two third-phasers-set phasers to stunned.

So, on the Monday after we both have staggering inertia. One of the nice aspects of retirement is the ability to take a day, or two, to recover from strenuous intergenerational activity.

Let’s hear it for staggering inertia. A very good thing in my opinion.