Category Archives: Family

24 Years and Still in Love

March 10, 2014 Charles Leave a comment

Imbolc Hare Moon

Sometimes, not often, but sometimes an event matches its purpose. Tonight’s anniversary dinner was such an event. We arrived at the Nicollet Island Inn at 6 pm, the same place where, 24 years ago, we spent the night before boarding a PanAm (yes, PanAm, can you imagine?) flight for Rome.

The host knew it was our anniversary, took us to our table after complimenting us on our glasses and our colorful garments and pointed to the bouquet on the table. “You are loved,” he said to Kate. “24 years and still in love?” Yes, we nodded. “Wonderful. Have a great evening.” We did.

We thanked our taste in classical music, our seats at the St. Paul Chamber Orchestra for bringing us together. We looked at the things that could have gone badly like Kate earning a lot and me earning much less, then nothing. I said, “I think the thing we’ve done, all along, is nurture the best in each other. I don’t see how you can ask for more in a relationship.” Kate agreed. Somehow we have seen the highest and best in each other, staying out of each other’s way in some instances, stepping in with a helping hand at others.

(in Pizarro’s dining room, Lima, Peru)

Kate ordered the scallops; I went for the tenderloin. We both ate less than half, saving some for tomorrow. I set aside my low carb focus to have a chocolate tart for dessert. We finished smiling. Kate slid over and put her arm through mine.

Added to the bill were two Nicollet Island Inn mugs, memories of the evening of our 24th.

Next year in Hawai’i!

Aging, Family, Retirement, Third Phase

24

March 10, 2014 Charles Leave a comment

Imbolc Hare Moon

Nicollet Island Inn tonight for our 24th anniversary dinner.

Marriage is an interesting institution and not an obvious one. There is certainly no need for marriage as a means of assuring reproduction. There is ample evidence that monogamy grinds against some people all of the time and most people some of the time. The notion of finding someone in your twenties with whom you will be compatible in your sixties is almost laughably difficult. Of course, that problem can be solved. First, a divorce. Second, capitulation. Third, growing along with each other.

I’ve done the first, would find the second constitutionally impossible and now, thankfully, have ample evidence that the third is an option, too. Even marrying in our forties, as Kate and I did, doesn’t necessarily augur well for life together in old age. Why not? Well, forty somethings getting married are still in their working years, burdened and shaped by the demands of occupation and vocation.

After the work life recedes, there’s no guarantee that the two will still want to see each other across the breakfast and lunch and dinner table.

Kate and I have made this transition over the last couple of years, integrating our lives in a more closely choreographed dance. Now, when I work here in my study, her sewing machine whirs above me, her feet move across the floor from table to ironing board as she works on her current project. When we look at travel opportunities, we can be much more flexible in our decisions. As the growing season unfolds, so will another year of mutual garden work, growing food, caring for the bees.

We didn’t know we’d be good at this when we got married. It wasn’t on our minds. But that third option, the growing together one? It’s marked every step along the pilgrimage of our life together, a pilgrimage far from finished.

Faith and Spirituality, Family, Feelings, Humanities, Reimagine. Reconstruct. Reenchant., Retirement, Third Phase, Travel

Coming Up in March

March 6, 2014 Charles Leave a comment

Imbolc Hare Moon

Looking down the month toward our 24th anniversary (Monday) and the date I’m wheels on the road for Tucson (the 18th). 24 years with Kate and our relationship improves like fine wine, gaining more nuance and depth, more body with each passing year. This year we return to the Nicollet Island Inn for dinner, the spot from which we launched our honeymoon. As spring rolled forward in March of 1990 those three weeks in Europe were as good a beginning as the marriage itself. Next year we’ll celebrate our 25th anniversary at Mama’s Fish House on Maui.

The Tucson trip grows closer. These rolling retreats, as I like to think of alone time behind the wheel, are really just road trips. Road trips are part of the American way, peregrinatio updated for the age of the internal combustion engine.

This one of course has its focus self discovery, focus, personal deepening so it will have a more spiritual note, but it will also include my usual visits to spots of natural and historic interest. Among the possibilities are Carlsbad Caverns, the Saguaro forests, a state park or two in Arizona, the Sonoran Desert Museum, Mt. Kitt, Chaco Canyon, Joshua Tree National Park (probably not, but it’s within reach) and a second visit to the Arbor Day lodge and farm in Nebraska City, Nebraska.

Dogs, Family, Minnesota

Careening Out of February

February 23, 2014 Charles Leave a comment

Imbolc Valentine Moon

The dogs were quiet this morning. I slept in until 8:30. When I came out to the kitchen, they looked up at me, happy to see me and I let them outside. Gertie, our self-anointed early morning canine agitator, was quiet this morning. Why? No idea. She has slept in her crate the last two nights rather than in our bedroom. Maybe that explains some of it. Whatever it was, I’d like to see it again tomorrow.

(Gertie’s got her head out the furthest.)

After the worst snow event since the 1991 Halloween blizzard, we’re settling into another week of polar vortex style cold. Looks like we’re going to slide out of February on a Red Bull crashed-ice course.

Over the last day or so the snow lining the branches of the shrubs and trees has begun to melt in the now much warmer sun, more light on less square feet of earth. As it melts, though, it freezes back because the air temperature around it is still way below freezing. This has created some beautiful instances of clear ice topped snow, as if many of the snow-covered branches have sprouted diamond tiaras. Now presenting, Miss Euonymus. And for Miss Congeniality, the entrant from the oak hill, Miss Dogwood.

Kate’s going to stay at the quilt retreat an extra night so she can watch the Winter Olympics’ closing ceremonies. I’ll go get her tomorrow morning, after the roads have cleared. I’ve sat out the entire storm, taking Kate up to Rogers late morning on Thursday, then sitting right here, where I plan to stay until I leave to get her tomorrow.

Family, Garden, Great Work, Health, Our Land and Home

A Letter To Saudi Arabia

February 22, 2014 Charles Leave a comment

Imbolc Valentine Moon

Brother Mark, within a hundred miles of the Rub al Kahli, the empty quarter, asked me about the winter and the garden. Here’s my reply:

It has been our most severe winter since 1978-79, which was only 8 years after I moved up here. We just got 10 inches of snow and the temperatures are headed back down. It’s 2 right now and we have -15 for a low forecast this Thursday. Snow in our front yard is as high as my hip. The raised beds in the vegetable garden have disappeared.

All the dogs are good right now. Gertie gets around much better since she had the surgical crimp removed from her left rear knee.

Kate’s away at quilting retreat with her sister Anne. Just me, the dogs and lots of snow.

Last year I began using products from International Ag Labs and they increased our production even though I used them for only part of the season. The broadcast fertilizer went down fall and this spring I add nitrogen. There’s also a transplant formula to use when planting. These products improved the microbial life in the soil and add minerals found missing through soil tests. I tested the vegetable garden and the orchard last fall.

International Ag labs moves gardens and farms toward sustainable agriculture by creating healthy soil. This has always made sense to me and I’m pleased to have found them. Bill Schmidt found them.

Over this weekend I plan to place my seed and plant orders. Once I’ve done that I can order nitrogen in forms specific for specific plants. This means I will no longer have to rotate my crops because I’m building soils designed optimally for each plant type.

Tomatoes, beets, cucumbers, melons, bush beans, sugar snap peas, leeks, greens, herbs and peppers. The garlic’s already in the ground. This fall I’ll plant scallions at the same time I plant garlic.

The orchard is part of the program this year. That means I’ll be spraying the trees as well as the vegetables. These are foliar feedings, not insecticides. That’s a weekly, sometimes twice-weekly job. There, are, too soil drenches every other week.

Aren’t you glad you asked?

Art and Culture, Family

Aside February 20, 2014 Charles Leave a comment

Imbolc Valentine Moon

Took Kate up to Rogers, the Hampton Inn there. She’s in her room, napping as the snow falls. Her sister, Annie, will be coming up later. It’s a quilting retreat. Which, literally, is what it is. That is, the quilters come together, bring all their own stuff-sewing machines, stash, other projects, food-and sew on things they would do at home. It’s a group mentoring experience where problems get worked out, praise is given and a sense that you’re not in this quilting thing alone is nurtured. (The Quilting Frolic 1813 John Lewis Krimmel)

Asia, Family, Travel

You Canceled It For What?

February 16, 2014 Charles Leave a comment

Imbolc Valentine Moon

Sister Mary had a chance to keynote a conference on education. She’s spoken at several conferences, but never keynoted before. An honor. But.

She wrote that her flight to the island of Java had been canceled and she would not be able to make it to the conference. Why? Volcanic eruption. Mt. Kelud. (see right)

It grounded planes and caused tens of thousands of people to flee. I wrote back and said that was a new one for this flatlander, located mid-continent. Snow, yes. Ice, yes. Even flooding. But volcanic eruption? Quite the exotic reason for cancellation sitting in Minnesota. Not so exotic in Indonesia, a very volcanically active and earthquake active region of the world. It is, too, the fourth largest nation in the world by population.

Where is Mt. Kelud?

Family, Travel

It’s A Big World After All

February 11, 2014 Charles Leave a comment

Imbolc Valentine Moon

It’s so easy to sit here, exurban house with woods, center of North America, a long string of way below zero nights and three feet of snow on the ground, it’s so easy to sit here and not see the rest of the world.

Case in point. My brother writes from Muhayil, Saudi Arabia. It’s in the southern third of Asir province, red on this map. You can see that Asir borders Yemen, right where the red touches the gray.

He received a warning from the American embassy today about terrorism. The embassy does not allow their staff within 50 miles of Yemen. He’s 100 miles. That’s not far as the shrike flies. In the same e-mail he talks about a man crucified nearby for practicing witchcraft. That was 2011. He says the Saudi government can and does publicly behead criminals, then flys their body around attached to a helicopter.

That’s terrorism, witchcraft, beheading and public display of a body by helicopter. True, we have Michelle Bachman, crack houses, pick-up trucks on the lakes and snowmobiles but we can’t touch that four.

Family, Travel

Minnesota RV and Camper Show

February 9, 2014 Charles Leave a comment

Imbolc Valentine Moon

America. You know you’re in the land of the free and the home of the credit card when you pay to get into a place so you can convince yourself to buy something pretty expensive. That’s what Kate and I did today. We went to the Minnesota RV and Camper Show at the Minneapolis Coliseum.

(class A)

We’ve gone on several memorable RV trips, all earlier in our marriage and both enjoy the road. Kate in particular prefers modes of transportation that involve packing and unpacking least. RV’s and cruise ships match up well. Take the stuff out of the suitcases once, then pack it up to go home. Bliss, as far as Kate’s concerned. It’s not as important to me, but I see the advantage.

Our decision to keep multiple dogs has hampered our traveling by adding the cost of boarding. Otherwise, we might have set out on a third phase wanderjahr, cruising the blue highways.

(class C)

The show has row after of fifth wheel trailers with pull-down picnic decks, slide-outs and fireplaces. Yes, fireplaces. The class C motorhomes, the cabforward and bedroom, kitchen, living area immediately behind, used to be somewhat affordable. Now they’ve gone above $100,000, about what you would have paid for an A-class motorhome ten years ago. Unless you have a very ample wallet, the design and craftsmanship on the lower and mid-range vehicles veers from cheesy to tinny. $100,000 is a lot of money to pay for something with a door that flexes as you open it and stairs that wobble.

But Kate had seen something in the paper, something interesting. Not cheap exactly, but approaching affordable. The Vistabule teardrop trailer. Made here in Minnesota by a man whose commitment to good work is evident, these units intrigue me. A good way to see wilder places on the cheap without all the huffing and puffing of a pack.

Might be more on this later.

Family

Residents of North America Since 1717

February 7, 2014 Charles Leave a comment

Imbolc Valentine Moon

A woodprint of Richard Ellis’s grand-son Dimick, born in Ashfield, Massachusetts in 1776. Richard was the first Ellis settler of my line in the U.S. and a captain in the Revolutionary Army. This print is on the flyleaf of a long, 272 page genealogical history of the Ellises descended through Richard. He was born in Dublin, Ireland to Welsh parents and immigrated to the U.S. at the age of 13 in 1717. (just got the link to this book, of which I have a copy, today.)