Category Archives: Family

Kate

Samhain                                         Full Dark Moon

Kate’s recovery has, as she expected, plateaued.  That means she’ll have time without the rapid gains she made over the last two weeks.  According to her, the physical gains will not be lost, but the hope engendered in the immediate post-op will erode, since the body does not, at least for awhile, continue to send positive signs.  Psychologically the matter may be more problematic.  Without care the slowed or even apparently stopped healing can make the long time since getting ready for the procedure, the blur of the first couple of days on the morphine drip and the joy of increased mobility afterward add up to disappointment, fear of a failed outcome, or a weariness with the whole no longer countered by good signs.

Out for errands.

Litter Mates

Fall                                       Waxing Dark Moon

A word about litter mates.  Kate and I buy litter mates when we get puppies.  Once in a while we’ve gotten adult dogs given to us by a breeder and we did buy one solitary wolfhound, but otherwise litter mates.  Of our current pack all of the dogs were litter mates.  Hilo and Kona were born 8 years ago from a champion whippet bitch.  Emma and Bridgit (now deceased) we bought 14 years ago from a woman who was line breeding for really fast whippets.  They were both crazy, but they loved each other.

Rigel and Vega don’t look like litter mates.  Rigel looks like a miniature Irish Wolfhound (miniature at 100 pounds, of vegarigel400course) and Vega looks like, well, Vega.  She’s a giant coon hound with a huge head and a lot of muscle.  Appearances in this case deceive.  These girls have been together since last December when they were born.

Litter mates have mutual space.  They lie on each other, eat each other’s food, play together.  They retain the bond you might expect from animals who shared a womb, then a mother’s breasts.  The intimacy and trust they display toward each other is so sweet, so innocent and enduring.  We buy them just for this reason, so they will have a partner through life, one they can count on, one their own size in the case of Rigel and Vega.

These relationships have been part of the magic for Kate and me over the years, an addition to the joy of knowing animals as friends and companions, we also know them as sisters.

Kate on the mend

Fall                         Waxing Dark Moon

The Vikings took the pressure off themselves today by losing to Pittsburgh.  A lot of things could be said about the game, but in the end they lost.  It was a great game, one I enjoyed watching anyhow.  OK, I will say one thing.  That tripping penalty that called the touchdown back in the 4th quarter stank.  It was a game changer in a bad way for us.

Kate’s recovery, slow, but regular, gains strength each day. She went downstairs and up again tonight.  The incentive was big, seeing Ruth and Gabe on Skype, but the trip had a confidence building aspect, too.

Rigel and Vega have calmed down with the cooler weather.  Calmed down in a relative sense.  They still clang and bang, heavy with tooth and claw, but escaping seems to have become less a priority since the electric fence.

Caution: Old Person

Fall                                Waxing DArk Moon

Kate said this morning, “I have the zombie walk down.” She referred to her walker and its clump, clump rhythm.  I suggested we have her greet trick or treaters.  We could hang a sign on the walker that said, “Caution:  Old Person!”   Talk jen-kate-ruth-gabe300about scary.  (pic:  Halloween 2008, Leadville, Co.)

Yesterday she altered the periodicity of her drugs and  had a great improvement in her overall attitude.  Instead of taking 2 percocet every 4 hours, she now takes one every 2 hours.  I can tell advances in her movement and attitude each day, sometimes hour to hour.  She’s tough and stubborn, a good combination for recovery.

“I just thank Jesus for this fine Norwegian.”  A line I read in a newspaper article a couple of years ago.  Me, too.

On a more Y chromosome note.  Vikings vs. Steelers.  The line gives the Steelers the edge with three points.  Maybe.  Antoine Winfield is out with a bad ankle.  Rothelisberger has great stats this year in the passing game and Winfield out will put someone inexperienced out there.  Even so, my idea is that the Viking’s d-line will keep Ben on his heels enough to neutralize the Winfield problem.  If they can do that, Favre can score points with screens and mid-level passes since the Pittsburgh d will concentrate on All Day Peterson.  Let’s call it more like even.  Whichever team has the better day.

Kate is home

Fall                              Waxing Dark Moon

Hospitals are not homes.  Neither are they more than medically outfitted hotels.  Abbott-Northwestern is a good hospital, but the gap between a good hospital and a healing environment is vast.  Kate is now home, a healing place where her body will continue the work assisted by the surgeon.

She’s tired, but mobile, walking unassisted, though at times she may use a cane or a walker.  I’m surprised at how able she is considering the the surgery was done Monday afternoon.

Home feels more substantial now.  More after we both get a nap in, much needed.

Changes

Fall                           Waxing Dark Moon

The leaves have finally changed color in our yard.  It happened almost over night.  Many went dry before they turned, but more have become red, gold, yellow.  The colors of fall are as much a part of our landscape as the snowdrops and daffodils are of spring.   Fall’s color gives us one last Times Square moment from the vegetal world before the emphasis moves to the monochromatic grace and elegance of winter.

Sounds like Dr. Mary Ellis may visit over Thanksgiving.  The Singapore government nixed an earlier visit due to the H1N1 virus.  Mary’s had a lot going on over the last four years.   Working and finishing a dissertation has never been easy; it consumed extra time and holidays.  This would be the first Thanksgiving I can recall in a long time that she would be here.  It’s always good to have family around during holiseason.

Kate comes home today.  Her primary exercise for the next bit of time will be walking.  Yes, she’s up and about.  No 100 yard dashes in the near term, but moving is good, real good.  She cannot twist, so no Chubby Checker’s music on the CD player.  She also has to bend at the waist, no flexing of the back.  She will need percocet for a few weeks.

Fortunately hand work is how Kate spends time while listening to lectures at continuing medical education so she has projects to keep her busy.

As soon as she’s able (maybe right now), she can also start using the treadmill.  5 minutes at first, then more as she heals.

The House That Harvey Built, We Have Made a Home

Fall                                                New (Dark) Moon

The house that Harvey built ( Harvey Kadlec) as a model house for Kadlec Estates–3122 153rd Ave. NW, Andover, Minnesota–became a home long ago.  The kids have contributed memories and projects.  The land around the house has had many iterations of plants and vegetables.  Kate has sewing materials and tools scattered here and there.  I have books and computers.vegachair

With Kate off in the hospital this home reverts part way to house.  Without her here part of the spirit of the home dwells elsewhere.

Houses are inanimate, things of wood and metal, pipes and plastic.  The house, or the apartment, at least in America, will have serial occupants.   Except for those folks who work with architects, their construction and  siting decided by someone else, often a construction company, these sophisticated shells provide shelter from the elements and changing seasons.  Various ports of entry connect a house to electrical service providers, a gas company, a cable or satellite service for TV and broadband internet, water and sewage removal.  Often a patch of earth surrounds the house, a buffer between the house and the outside world.

A home, now that’s another matter.  A home is a house (or apartment) that has been made real in the Velveteen Rabbit way.  It may have a step or two that jiggle when walked upon.  Maybe one or two windows have their weatherstripping coming loose.  The floors probably have scuff marks and once pristine walls have chips showing the wall board beneath.  At any time there is probably a light bulb out somewhere.  The gas fireplace stopped working two or three years ago.  The water pressure is not what it once was.

That brand new furniture that looked so good in the show room?  A dog is asleep there now with a young boy.  The cat scratched the chair and though long dead her mark remains.  The beds in the home have bred dreams, consoled sadness and rocked with anticipation on holiday mornings.  Showers have cleansed little boys before t-ball games, girls before prom, mom and dad before anniversary dinners or after funerals.

Cars have been dissected across the dining room table.  Gardens planned.  Weddings, too.  Thanksgiving dinners and birthday parties.  The oven still has the remnants from a first cake.

Kate on Tuesday

Fall                                              New (Dark) Moon

Back from the hospital to visit Kate.  She has the blue plastic line with its black plunger next to her at all times so she can get in the morphine drip for her current fifteen minute period.  Aside from the bout with nausea during standing at around 8:30 am, she seems in reasonable, if not great spirits.  She did stand without nausea later in the day, a big step, but the pain is still intense while upright.

The People magazine I brought for her has a picture/picture puzzle where you have to identify the things that change from one picture to its near-identical twin below.  I gave it to her and she found 6 right away (out of 10).

We chatted off and on about the dogs, Ruth, her sisters, hospital care and the every dependable quality of hospital food (mediocre).  She feel asleep from the morphine at one point.  I wandered off and got supper, takeout from McDonald’s.  This seemed appropriate to me since the spine folks share floors with the Minneapolis Heart Hospital.  I figured my meal could bring me back to those very precincts. When I got she back, she had her meal:  tomato soup, chocolate pudding, a fruit drink and, best of all, Coffee!  We ate together while a cold rain fell and a mist settled over the skyline of Minneapolis.

She doesn’t like the condition she’s in right now, but in her words, “I signed up for it, so I need to suck it up.”  Hmmm.

That’s all the news from Lake Woebegone for today.

Kate’s Big Day

Fall                                                 New (Dark) Moon

Speaking too soon.  Vertigo returned last night, stronger than at any point during this last spell.  Damn.  An annoying experience.  This morning, so far, I feel uneasy, but ok.  Hope that continues since we have a lot going on today.

Kate’s big day.  We go in around 11:00 for her 1 p.m. procedure.  Once she’s out of her surgery and in recovery, that is, after I know for sure things have gone ok, I have to come home to feed the dogs and take a nap.  She’ll be at Abbott-Northwestern in Minneapolis for the duration, estimated at 2 days.

New Wedding Ring

Fall                                       Waning Blood Moon

Got a new wedding ring yesterday.  It came from Everything Jewish and has Hebrew lettering.  Along with the too big for my ring finger ring Kate bought in Jackson Hole this summer, it replaces the original, now awaiting discovery by some lucky person.  I can imagine some kid, years in the future, coming in and saying, “Hey, Mom.  Look what I found!”  A gift to the future from Vega the wonder dog.

This moves me one small step closer to the Jewish community, a place I’ve always felt comfortable.  From what I know of Chinese and Jewish culture I could have been comfortable in either.  Which is not to say that I’m uncomfortable in my American culture.  I’m not.