Monthly Archives: August 2025

Poetry, Writing

Jane Kenyon

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OTHERWISE
by Jane Kenyon

I got out of bed
on two strong legs.
It might have been
otherwise. I ate
cereal, sweet
milk, ripe, flawless
peach. It might
have been otherwise.
I took the dog uphill
to the birch wood.
All morning I did
the work I love.
At noon I lay down
with my mate. It might
have been otherwise.
We ate dinner together
at a table with silver
candlesticks. It might
have been otherwise.
I slept in a bed
in a room with paintings
on the walls, and
planned another day
just like this day.
But one day, I know,
it will be otherwise.

 

Tell the whole truth. Don’t be lazy, don’t be afraid. Close the critic out when you are drafting something new. Take chances in the interest of clarity of emotion.

Be a good steward of your gifts. Protect your time. Feed your inner life. Avoid too much noise. Read good books, have good sentences in your ears. Be by yourself as often as you can. Walk. Take the phone off the hook. Work regular hours.

Jane Kenyon

Feelings, Great Wheel, Holidays, Mountains, Paganism, Plants, Shadow Mountain, Weather +Climate

The Springtime of the Soul

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Road trips. Telluride. Ouray. Silverton. Durango. Shadow, rising in darkness. Morning darkness. Electricity. Artemis. Tomatoes nearing maturity. Very cool morning. Authoritarian playbooks. 2025. May you grow old in interesting times. TV. Books. Computers. Mini-splits. Fall come early. Aspen gold. CBE. Gabe and Gordonzeo. Ruth in her sophomore year.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Bubble gum and baling wire

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah:  Ometz lev. Inner strength to move forward. Courage.

Tarot: Ten of Arrows, Instruction

Generational Wisdom:
The card emphasizes the transfer of knowledge from elders to youth, ensuring that traditional skills and wisdom are not lost.

 

One brief shining: Shadow is in the house, goes straight to her Nylabone Lobster, begins to chew with what dog toy makers call aggressive chewing, the kind that shreds toys made for softer dogs, ones whose chewing gentles the toys, treats them like Velveteen Rabbits, not Shadow for she demands resistance, counts on toughness.

 
 

Seasons: A cool morning. Forty-three. The greenhouse heater either can’t keep up or turned itself off. I’ll find out later this morning. These late August days and all of September mark a gradual transition from growing season weather to the bleakness of the fallow season. Sometimes cold, even frosty, sometimes warm.

 

Soon the Aspens on Black Mountain will begin to turn from green to gold. Jackie who lives above 9,000 feet in Bailey said they’d started to turn a while back where she is. Kenosha Pass, too, said a friend of hers. The whispered reports we share. Knowing seasonal change for what it is. Life-changing.

 

When to put on the Snow tires? Will my cold frames be done before the first frost? When will the Garlic come? Do the mini-splits need cleaning? How’s my supply of firewood? How about that first Snow? When will it come? Homes become refuges from the cold. Shadow loved the Snow in February. How will she react when it comes again? With delight, I imagine.

 

Mountain roads. Become more challenging. Technical. Call on forty years of Minnesota winter driving experience. When these Blizzaks lose their tread, I’m buying Hankook quiet studded tires.

 

Holiseason lies only a couple of months away. Starting on Samhain and running through the Epiphany. My favorite time of the year. Family and friends. Festive days and long cold nights.

 

But. Not yet. First the corn-pickers and the combines. Reaping the harvest as the mad colors of a Midwestern Fall bloom, red Sugar Maple leaves floating down, down onto Lakes and Ponds. Boaters heading out to see the colors on Lake Minnetonka. College football underway. Can the NFL be far behind?

 

I love this transitional time. A joy of living in the temperate latitudes where we have four seasons, more or less. And this change from the heat of summer to the crisp weather of fall? The best. All poignancy and anticipation.

 

As Rudolf Steiner said, the springtime of the soul. That’s why cheshbon nefesh fits so well here. An outer change enhances, encourages an inner one.
Commentary on the news, Dogs, Family, Health, Shadow Mountain

Tragedy grown from tragedy

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Shabbat gratefuls: Teshuva. Candles. Ellul. Morning darkness. Shadow, my sweet girl. Kate, always Kate. Artemis, aglow with her heater. Which also illuminates the Japanese lanterns. Cool night. Fog. Dew point. Humidity. Monsoon Rains. Winds. Great Sol still hidden by Mother Earth. My son. Seoah. Murdoch. Coffee. A morning delight.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: My son and Seoah

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei (and my mentor in it, Shadow)

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev. Inner strength to move forward. Courage

Tarot: Seven of Swords (Druid Craft deck)

  • Intelligence over Brute Force:

    Rather than aggressive action, the Seven of Swords advises using your intellect to navigate difficult situations smartly. 

  • Truth-Seeking:
    The card encourages looking beyond the surface and discerning the real truth of a situation, avoiding self-deception or being deceived by others.

One brief shining: Next week another blood draw, my quarterly instance of true high stakes testing, a titch of anxiety already making its way into consciousness, roiling slightly the calm waters of my inner world, while I go through the now well worn ruts of it will be what it will be, life is short and I’m old, a good run so far, wonder what happens in the new territory if and when I get there.

 

Cancer: Stable so far. PSA next week. I’ve responded well to androgen deprivation therapy ever since the last dose of my long radiation. Over six years. In other words Orgovyx and Erleada have kept my cancer in stasis through Kate’s illness, through my second visit to Korea, through my son’s taking command of his squadron, through Covid, through the deaths of Gertie, then Kate, Rigel, Kepler, and Jon, through my conversion, through adopting Shadow, through the building of Artemis. I bow my head to the scientists who developed them. True life savers.

When looked at from that perspective, gratitude comes unbidden. In this odd case looking backward soothes the soul, while anticipation stains it with worry. An important lesson in living in the moment, in this August 30th life, on this Shabbat.

 

Dog journal: Murdoch, now eight years old, rests a lot. Whenever my son and I talk, he turns the camera to the side or under his desk and there lies a sleeping tan and white Akita, happy with the people he loves.

Murdoch has traveled more than most people. From his birth home outside Macon, Georgia to the not so far away Warner-Robbins AFB. From there to Colorado, Conifer. From Conifer to Loveland. From Loveland to Hawai’i. From Hawai’i to Korea. Throughout he has loved the Sun in spite of his breed’s double coat developed for the Mountains of the Akita prefecture in Japan where Akita’s originated.

Shadow sleeps on her “place.” A towel I’ve been training her to lie on until I say “free” and throw a treat away from it. A calming spot. Good for anxious dogs like her. Shadow Mountain is my place. Hers, too.

 

Just a moment: Read about Robin Westerman’s diaries. Her secret plans and grievances. Her admiration for school shooters. Her careful planning. Makes me sad, not even angry. Tragedy grown from tragedy.

Dogs, Far Right, Greenhouse, Politics, US History

I weep

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Friday gratefuls: Shadow, up at 3 am today.  Cool morning. Rain. Low Wildfire Risk. Rabbi’s Akiva, Hillel, and Green. Tzelem elohim. Humans made in (or, I would say, as) the image of God.  Mindy. Fran. Sally. Janet. Marilyn. Going to Yellowstone, as she does around this time of year.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Elk Creek Fire

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Rodef Shalom. The desire to generate well-being for ourselves and others.

Tarot: The King of Vessels, Heron

  • “Patience and introspection: Like the Heron who waits patiently in a stream, this card represents the lesson of trusting divine timing and acting with intention rather than impulsivity.
  • Emotional mastery: The Heron stands on one leg, stable and grounded even as the water flows around it.”  Gemini

One brief shining: A jolt this morning from Pulsepoint, an app that tracks emergencies nearby, this time with a 6:50 AM notice of a vegetation Fire at 8540 Black Mountain Drive, a mile or two from home, Elk Creek Fire has rolled on it; and, I sit here feeling blessed by all the Rain we’ve had, imagining, hoping it will make this Fire easier to suppress. Ah. Closed 7:02 AM.

 

Dog journal: Shadow up early. I played with her a bit, let her out, and went upstairs. Made coffee. Cleaned my Shabbat candle holders using boiling Water. Plucked a can of Water from the fridge.

When I got downstairs, Shadow wanted back in. She came in and I thought, I’ll go back to sleep. Around 3:45. Yep. Didn’t get up until it was time to feed her.

Shadow has begun to spend more time inside as the days have grown rainier and cooler. Right now she’s resting, her head on her paws. 3 AM was early for her, too. Thank god.

 

Artemis: Watered the Soil in the east facing raised bed, got out two seed packets, both Carrots. Tiny. Delicate. Difficult to handle. Back in Andover I would have used Sand to help me place them in the Soil. No Sand here. Had to rely on my fingers. Which means. Thinning later.

This may seem like an odd time to plant, but my guidance from Seed Savers Exchange says this an excellent time for Carrots. They grow through Frost and become sweeter as the Air and Soil grows cooler. We’ll see. I also have row covers for them that I’ll deploy over the weekend. Shelter from the harsh early Light of Great Sol.

 

Just a moment: I’ve never seen a government so committed to harming its own citizens. (later. Well, of course I have. Geez. Hitler’s Germany. Stalin’s Russia. Mao’s China.) Guess I should say a U.S. government. Reduce/and or eliminate food support. Gut the CDC and cut back on vaccine access. Make women’s health priority low when they’re most vulnerable. Cut  emergency response capability at the same time as reducing the capacity of the Weather services to warn us of emergencies. Put the National Guard and the Military to the task of occupying major cities. Not to mention the knock on effects of defunding basic science.

During all this why not convene a three hour televised cabinet meeting where our Dear Leader received praise from high ranking sycophants. I weep.

 

 

Memories, Men, Minnesota, Politics, US History

The Heart of Darkness

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Thursday gratefuls: Paul. Tom. Naps. Shadow and her new Lobster. Nylabone. Her morning sweetness. Rain. Smoky the Bear on Low Fire Danger. The family in South Korea. In Denver. In Saudi Arabia. In Australia and K.L. In Longmont. Planting Carrots. Watering them in. Irv and his new tooth. Rumi. Kabir. Hafiz. Basho. Cold Mountain. Woodsworth. Coleridge. Blake. Keats. Thomas. Harris. Berry. Whitman. Dickinson. Oliver. Collins.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Mountain roads

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Rodef Shalom. The desire to generate well-being for ourselves and others.

Tarot: The Greenman, #4

  • “Creative fertility and power: Represents the abundant, regenerative, and vibrant male energy of the natural world.
  • Assertive dynamism: Signifies a new and thriving drive to begin projects, relationships, or new ways of living.”  Gemni

One brief shining: Morning darkness now greets Shadow and me as we get up, covering the back yard, obscuring the Lodgepoles, the Aspen, Artemis except for the glow of her heater, all the toys and socks and bones Miss Shadow has relocated there, the Bluebells, the invasive Mullein, those sawtooth Ground Covers I don’t recognize; the same darkness obscures 10,000 foot Black Mountain as if its Massif did not exist. What does your inner darkness obscure?

Minneapolis: Forty years of my life were spent in Minnesota. Most of them in the Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul. Cities I loved and love still. My heart breaks for Minneapolis, a city with flaws, sure, it’s a place inhabited by humans; yet also a place committed to a diverse citizenry, to beauty, to citizen based planning, to justice for all. Does it fall short on all of these? Of course it does, yet no more so than most, probably a lot less.

And yet.  The Annunciation shooting yesterday. Melissa Hortman and her husband. Gilbert. Only two months ago. George Floyd.

When I worked on the West Bank in Minneapolis, I conducted a memorial service for a long time resident of that then counter-cultural neighborhood. I don’t remember her name, but I remember how she died. Standing on the back porch of her second floor apartment, a bullet so spent it didn’t pierce the back of her coveralls, did shatter her heart. She had children, was in her early thirties.

I do remember saying in my eulogy for her that the only sense that could be made of her death lay in one place. The need to control gun violence. I don’t recall if we did anything about that then, I suspect not or I would remember. This would have been in the mid-nineteen eighties.

In the same time period I counseled a young Black man from the Southside to give evidence against a known gangster. Another young Black man who had committed more than one murder, his violence keeping others in the neighborhood quiet.

To show the complexity. He did give evidence. And then was harassed at his job at a local pharmacy by friends of the man he’d sent to Stillwater Prison. So often that he eventually moved to Florida. His sister, too.

I think of Joseph Conrad’s, The Heart of Darkness.

Family, Judaism, Shadow Mountain, Talmud

Who is Wise?

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Wednesday gratefuls: Travis and Taylor, sittin’ in a tree. Shadow’s and mine early, early morning. Morning darkness. Natalie. The leash. More and more easy. Slowly. Marilyn and Irv. Salam. Deion. Heidi. Rider. Lilla. Liks. Professor Luke. Chemistry. Metamorphosis. Ovid. Aeschylus. Homer. Virgil. Euripides. Heraclitus. Anaximander. Thales. Rhodes. Delos. Crete. Mykonos.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Philosophy

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah:  Rodef Shalom. The desire to generate well-being for ourselves and others.

Tarot: The Queen of Vessels, Salmon

“The Queen is loving, kind, and nurturing. Her spirit draws on honesty and self-sacrifice to bring joy to others, even in dark situations.”

One brief shining: Salmon, in Celtic lore, swam upstream and rested in clear, deep Pools shaded by Hazel Trees; Hazelnuts would fall into the Pool and the Salmon would eat them, gaining all the wisdom of the world. Whoever ate of this Salmon also gained that wisdom.

 

“Who is wise? Those who learn from every person.” Sage Ben Zoma in the Perkei Avot, The Wisdom of the Fathers.  One of the things I needed to learn from Rabbi Jamie was appreciative inquiry. Coming out of philosophy as a discipline argument was not only expected; it was a blood sport. Take no prisoners, follow the logic wherever it went.

Appreciative inquiry challenges this cut and thrust style by emphasizing that you can learn from anyone (see Zoma), even those with whom you disagree. You might see it as a turn from a toxic masculine need to dominate to an appreciation for the Salmon who gives of herself wholly to gain wisdom.

This was/is a difficult lesson for me. Case in recent point? Conservatism Rediscovered by Yoram Hazony. On my first read I ticked box after box. Wrong. Stupid. Unsupported. Post hoc propter hoc. Mean. Narrow minded.

I’ve reflected that in the critiques I’ve offered so far. And I stand by them and the ones I’ll make over the next few days. However, appreciative inquiry has me pausing, asking myself, what have I learned from Hazony?

OK. I’m struggling here. I disagree with him like I disagreed with Charlie Haislet, a fellow Woolly Mammoth of a conservative turn. When Charlie and I went after each other, it was knives and pistols. Over time I grew to dislike the person in me who showed up in those arguments. Needing, oh so much, to be right. Or, rather, left. A lot of heat. Little light.

Can I approach Hazony in a different spirit? Not giving up a necessary challenge to ideas with which I disagree while saying, oh, good point, that adds to my understanding.

His emphasis on family, for instance. Its centrality in the life of an individual and of the nation. The need for collective action to strengthen and support families. I disagree with his patriarchal, father knows best assumption about families, yet life has shown me that family ties are the first and most basic spot for each of us. That home is a bigger word than we often credit.

If Hazony would only loosen up, he might see that family can have, must have many different valid expressions.

Yet that family is core to the human experience? I’m down with you, Yoram.

 

 

 

Dogs, Family, Far Right, Friends, Politics, US History

I Mean, C’mon Guy

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Tuesday gratefuls: Cool Morning. Morning darkness. Shadow and her tire. New toys for Shadow. Insulation for Artemis. Shadow and Artemis. Enriching my life. And, theirs. That Mule Deer Doe yearling. Eleanor. Tara. Marilyn and Irv. Late lunch at Three Victorias. Rabbi Jamie’s 20 years. The insuring of Shadow.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Tara’s snacks, her conversation

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Rodef Shalom. The desire to generate well-being for ourselves and others.

Tarot: Ace of Arrows, the Breath of Life

“The card signals the start of a journey focused on intellect, communication, and ambition. It’s a call to examine your beliefs and be open to new information, “spring cleaning” your mind of what no longer serves you.” Gemini

One brief shining: The small mostly black Dog ran ahead of the tawny colored Mule Deer, dashing turning, catching up then chasing, two young Animals at play, ginning up energy as they ran, the joy of being young.

 

Dog Journal: Eleanor came to visit the same day. She’s black with curly hair. A bundle of puppy doggy earnestness, movement twice as big as Shadow. They ran outside, around the yard, then back inside up the stairs to see what Tara and I were doing. Talking. Boring. Back down the stairs and outside. Quite a day for the Shadow Dog.

 

Children and Grandchildren: Tara and I meanwhile parsed the mysteries of raising children, grandparenting. Each child, each grandchild has their own, unique path. Vincent’s second bite at the Big Apple. Ruth switching her major from art to premed. Julia in her second year of a master’s degree in something neurological. In Holland. Gabe, waking up, choosing creative writing. Sophia, working at Wendy’s, fashion forward. My son, in command far away on the Korean Peninsula. All spokes radiating outward from their family of origin, all connected, yet also all so, so different.

Tara brought bacon and a Fruit salad; I made the coffee. We also talked gardening. Her Tomatoes have begun to ripen. She made Zucchini bread and had some for me. Tara starts her day seeing how her garden is doing, first looking at it from the second story deck, then wandering down to check on it up close. I go to mine each day, too.

Oh, and btw. I found my Seeds. I’d put them behind the metal bookstand next to Moby Dick. Planting Carrots this morning.

 

Just a moment: Conservative principle #2. Nationalism. “Human beings form national collectives characterized by bonds of mutual loyalty and unique inherited traditions.” Hazony places this definition over against what he considers Enlightenment Liberal understandings of the nation as a creedal collective. The French Revolution. Jefferson’s Declaration of Independence. For instance.

In Hazony’s Hobbesian world (though he lumps Hobbes in with the Enlightenment Liberals, he leaves out Hobbes’ war of all against all.) competing families form competing clans which in turn form competing tribes which then create a nation. Which competes with other unique nations.

My primary critique of his view of nationalism is that I see no evidence for competing families forming competing clans. Or, clans forming tribes. Let alone tribes creating a nation. So there.

He also, later on, makes the extraordinary claim that nations function according to the scientific method, remember historical empiricism? Like Newton the conservative nationalist observes how laws work, how programs and policies function, then inductively creates any tweaks necessary. This after what I can only call a rant about rationalism. I mean, c’mon guy, choose a path.

Dogs, Far Right, Greenhouse, Politics, US History, Wild Neighbors

Creative Tension

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Monday gratefuls: Shadow’s sweetness. Morning darkness. Shadow, destroyer of towels. Ode and his mushroom trip. His brother. Cancer. Rain. Cool mornings. Many, many green tomatoes. That Mule Deer in the yard. Learning how to use Artemis. Rabbi Jamie’s gala. My best teacher. Luke. Alan and Cheri, healing.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Artemis’ Hail protection

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Rodef Shalom. The desire to generate well-being for ourselves and others.

Tarot: Page of Bows, Stoat

“The stoat’s seasonal coat change and use as royal ermine emphasize a sacred connection to the earth and the cycle of nature. The card serves as a reminder to honor the ground beneath your feet and reconnect with your vital, ancient self.” Gemini

One brief shining: Buddy Ode wrote me from the road, a trip with and for mushrooms, all the way to Telluride with Dennis, then over to K.C. to see his brother, driving by himself much of the way, a lone Ancient Brother, a rolling meditation.

 

Dog journal:

Bandit. Saw a post on Nextdoor Shadow Mountain about a Blue Heeler named Bandit. He slipped away from his humans in Hiwan, part of Evergreen. They described him as skittish and shy, unlikely to come to a stranger. Sightings of him led them to near the Buchanan Recreation Center. Though skittish and shy even with his humans, he “finally broke down and came to us.” This week.

Boy, this is Shadow. Must be breed specific behavior. Makes me feel better about the bond Shadow and I have. And, about getting her back inside at all on Saturday.

Addenda: Stopped writing. To workout. Kate’s old sewing room that overlooks the backyard. A Mule Deer Doe, a yearling was in the yard. Shadow was not barking at her, though I wish she would. To protect my growing Vegetables that don’t yet have critter barriers.

Shadow gave an obvious play bow to the Deer. Then again. And again. Finally, the Deer got it and they chased each other in zooming circles throughout the backyard, through the Lodgepoles, around Artemis, past the lone Aspen, onto the leechfield and on and on.

I don’t know how long, three/four minutes. The Mule Deer had longer strides, might have been faster on a straightaway, but she tilted and had to correct while trying to follow Shadow’s fleet bursts of speed and turns. Play ended with the Doe’s tongue hanging out, panting. Shadow came inside, proud of herself.

 

Shadow Mountain Home: One inch Hail yesterday. Unusual for this elevation. Had  roofers knocking on doors, looking for that big insurance payout.

I’ve saved a couple of guy’s information who live here on Shadow Mountain. May have one of them come to check my roof. Of course this came just after my home insurance policy added a $5,000 deductible for any Hail damage claim. Sigh.

The good news is that I had Nathan build out the roof on Artemis so it covered the outside raised beds. One round of Hail like this could wipe out a whole season’s growth. Kale, Spinach, Beets, Squash, Nasturtiums all healthy.

Odd thing. Saw a note about planting carrots right now, letting them get sweet as the weather cools. I thought, oooh, I have carrot seeds. I can plant them in the east facing bed. I even added special soil to that bed on Saturday morning. However.

Where did I put those seeds? I bundled up the packets I hadn’t planted and put them away for next year. OK. That’s good. But where did I put the damned things? I can’t find them. They’re here in the place I considered logical a month ago. Again, sigh.

 

Just a moment: I do plan to return to the five principles of National Conservatism, but until I do I have begun to wonder about the nature of conservatives. Why they focus so much on stability and order.

The thinking in Hazony’s book is about confining the individual and the group by adherence to historical empiricism, not only as I wrote about it on Friday related to governance, but in every other sphere of life: family, (tribe, which I don’t find a convincing argument for in U.S. culture), and nation.

My take is that much, if not most, of conservative thought comes from fear-based reflections on the human experience. A fear that too much leeway to change laws will destabilize the nation or the state. A fear that accepting gender challenges will destabilize relationships. A fear that allowing women their whole life will destabilize the family. A fear that an intentionally heterogeneous citizenry will destabilize the culture.

While these fears may not be unreferented, their effect is to trap the other in the closet, in the kitchen, in a white’s only culture. That’s why we need both liberals and conservatives, conservatives to remind us of what we have and liberals to remind us of what we can yet have. A healthy, creative tension.

 

 

Dogs, Friends

Shadow Eloped

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Shadow’s return. Luke’s help. Leo’s, too. Rain. Hail. Cool morning. Morning darkness. Elul. Cheshbon Nefesh. Torah. Re’eh. Talmud Torah. Nefesh. Ruach. Neshama. Soul work. Fear. Love. Marina. Ana. Furball Cleaning. The harvest season. Combines and Corn Pickers. Regenerative Farming. Organics. Soil. Land Institute. Aldo Leopold Foundation. Wendell Berry.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Shadow’s Home

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Rodef Shalom. The desire to generate well-being for ourselves and others.

Tarot: Knight of Vessels, Eel

One brief shining: Shadow slipped out the front door when I helped Luke carry his stuff to the car, but, calling her back inside did not work this time; instead she headed for the road, I learned, again, the close bond between love and fear.

 

Dog journal: As the afternoon’s monsoon rain began to pelt down, I tried to get Shadow away from the road. As Natalie has observed, her first and last instinct is flight. Luke helped, the rain continued.

As she wandered sniffing, exploring through Jude’s yard filled with Jeep and Willy’s parts, a transmission here with the shifters connected to a long shaft but lying on the ground, Elk skeletons, old wooden pallets, discarded lumber, a barbecue grill with one glove resting on the top, a shipping container, a wagon, a fancy camper, I followed her. Fear for her safety overriding my sense of boundaries.

Shadow picked up an Elk Bone. She slowed. I tried for her collar. She ran. I know. I know. Reaching toward her makes her flinch, run, flee. I lost my mind for a while. Tried to catch her.

Her path led us out of Jude’s yard and into the neighbor’s behind me. Where the earth movers have been at work. Piles of Root filled Earth. Shadow disappearing over one of them.

Back along the fence toward an even further neighbor’s property. Luke headed her off. We pushed her toward my fence. She went. Turning the corner by the garage, Shadow ran toward the front door and inside! Ten minutes, maybe fifteen, in the Rain. Which stopped as I closed the front door and the gate I had opened for her.

Oh, Shadow. None of the commands worked. She was too stressed. So was I. The Rain. Trekking through Jude’s many obsessions. My rear neighbor leaning out the window, wondering what was going on. My dog escaped. You’re all good.

What a time.

 

Just a moment: Luke, I believe, has found his niche. Professor Luke. Teaching chemistry. To Dental Hygienist’s to be. And to future workers in Colorado’s Cannabis industry.

He rides the light rail nine minutes, makes a short walk to the Auraria campus to his office (yes, he has an office. With a window).

He’s an academic, back inside the loving arms of alma mater. No one tells him what to do. He’s allowed to use his own considerable learning and teaching experience.

I’m so happy for him. He’s got a good heart, an amazing array of talents, and has needed, as long as I’ve known him, a place to work that fits him. I believe he’s found it.

Coronavirus, Family, Far Right, Friends, Health, Politics

National Conservatism

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Shabbat gratefuls: Lighting the candles. Gathering in the light. A day for friends, family, naps, and learning. Shadow mornings. Kisses. Training. Outside, Inside. Food. Re’eh. Parsha today. Rain, steady. Artemis. Between 65 and 85 degrees. Tomatoes fruiting. Kale Leaves. Spinach. Beet Roots expanding. Luke and Leo visiting.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Lighting the Candles

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Rodef Shalom. The desire to generate well-being for ourselves and others.

Tarot: The Seer, #2  “The Seer represents potential and things not yet made manifest. This is a time for quiet, solitary reflection and listening to your inner voice rather than taking action.” Gemini (a good Shabbat card) 

One brief shining: Alan sat at our usual place in the Dandelion, face drawn, his usual high personal energy muted; last week he canceled, a cold he said, but looking at him I knew what it was. Covid.

 

Covid: Alan had tested negative since Wednesday while Cheri still suffered. Covid has not left the house. I’m confident a Department of Health and Human Services war against vaccines will be greeted with good cheer in Covid dining halls. Here’s to RFK, those viruses must say, as they lift a glass to that vacuous ass.

Brought all those Covid times back. Especially Mary, only now a permanent resident of Australia, finally settled in Melbourne. And Seoah. Who ended up here for a few months, then onto two weeks of quarantine in Singapore. Kate, who never saw the end of the pandemic.

That one visit Seoah and I made to Safeway. Empty produce shelves. A staff person (essential workers, remember?) handing out one dozen eggs per customer. How wary we all were of each other.

I pick-up my groceries rather than shop for them myself. Crowds bother me. Enclosed spaces with lots of people, too. Covid boosted my natural introversion, a different, but valid rationale to stay home, see only friends and family.

 

Just a moment: I’m reading, so you don’t have to, Conservatism, by Yoram Hazony. This text by an orthodox Jew who lives and teaches in Israel lies behind Project 2025 and JD Vance’s politics.

In it Hazony argues for what he calls national conservatism. He writes well, a clear prose outlining ideas that guide policy (what there is of it) in the red tie guy’s administration.

National conservatism has, according to Hazony, five main principles:

  1.  Historical empiricism
  2.  Nationalism
  3.  Religion
  4.  Limited Executive Power
  5.  Individual Freedom

Hazony, Conservatism, p. 33-34

This morning we’ll examine historical empiricism. “The authority of government derives from constitutional traditions known, through long historical experience of a given nation, to offer stability, well-being, and freedom.” op cit, p. 33

As you can see from this definition, conservatism bases its rationale for governance on what Hazony insists on calling historical empiricism. I say insists because whatever falls outside of that purview just doesn’t count. Hazony has no problem with that since taking the path laid down by a people and their constitution will (I would say might) produce the key conservative virtues of stability, well-being, and freedom. Stability and order being the key to conservative fealty to the past.

I understand the desire to maintain a certain degree of order and stability in a state. Without order life can sink into chaos. Look at any failed state for the consequences: South Sudan, Congo, El Salvador, Venezuela.

Yet to get that stability by genuflecting to the ways of history leaves out key realities. The role of women, for instance. What to do with LGBT folks. How about the disabled?

Hazony agrees that it would be blind and stupid not to oppose slavery even though it has historical precedence on its side. He seems to think, however, that the case for other groups must remain unheard.

This is, to me, a fundamental flaw and one reason I reject his whole project out of hand. National conservativism appears willing to close off its fifth principle, Individual Freedom, in obeisance to the first.