Waxing

January 4, 2019 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Waxing Moon

20181129_095226 Thanks to all of you who participated in name that moon. All the ideas were good. I chose this one because it’s short and lunar and germane to Kate’s goals. Thanks, Scott.

Kate had a bad day yesterday. Nauseated when she got up and fatigued right away, unfortunately both continued throughout the day. It was not, however, eating related.Which was good news. She does feel better this morning.

She had an appointment with our internist, Lisa Gidday, at 9:15, so we drove once again to Littleton, probably our most frequent out of the house destination over the last three months barring Swedish Hospital. The progress with food-related nausea and cramping pleased Lisa, but the morning nausea concerned her. Surprisingly, given her reticence in the past, she suggested Kate try cannabis during the day for appetite nudging.

Marijuana dabba That meant that after the trip to Littleton we drove on past Conifer to Bailey, to the Happy Camper. I bought Kate two packs of Dabba chocolate mints. The strain this time is sativa, not indica. Indica produces a lassitude that is congenial with sleep; sativa has a more energetic profile. Better for parties and staying awake. We’ll see if that helps.

Cooking maria's SeoAh cooks by feel, learned by watching her mother cook. I understand this method, mostly my own. I do occasionally follow recipes; so does she, but we both prefer tasting as we go. I’m trying to learn how she thinks about cooking by watching her. I’m beginning to get it. She has a lot in common with Italian cooking. Simple preparation. Fresh ingredients. A lot of pasta. And, of course, rice. I believe by the end of her stay I’ll be able to do a good novice’s job on some Korean dishes.

I drove a lot this week. And it’s worn me out. One more trip today, into Maria’s for empanadas. Also this Sunday is another Jewish Studies Sampler Sunday. My friend Deborah is going to do some breathing exercises during the session.

Gertie, Kepler, Rigel, and Murdoch all enjoy winter. Running through the snow, rolling in it. All in good health. Gertie spends most of her day with me in the loft. Rigel, who gets along well with Murdoch, spends most of her day on the couch. Kep, who attempted to chow down on Murdoch during his last trip here, is either in the sewing room or outside unless Murdoch is in his room. Complicated doggy logistics, but not at all unfamiliar to us.

Science

Ultima Thule

January 3, 2019 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Stent Moon

Beyond the known world. Here there be Dragons.

I suppose, by definition, Ultima Thule, the more than ancient rock of the Kuiper Belt, lost its right to its name the second its photograph got taken. Way out there, man. I mean way out. The Kuiper Belt. Next stop, the Oort Cloud.

Oh, where is our warp drive? Where is the wormhole navigation beacon that could steer New Horizons to places beyond our galactic borders? Where is my flying car?

Like the Mars lander and China’s moon lander New Horizons keeps humans in space exploration, but only by distant extensions of our machine building prowess. Homo sapiens, the tool maker. New Horizons is a tool, one sent far away to work beyond the direct reach of its makers. Beyond the direct reach of its makers solar system. Pretty damned cool.

Go, New Horizons. Go.

Aging, Art and Culture, Asia, Colorado, Family, Memories, The West, Third Phase

Around Denver with Ruth and SeoAh

January 3, 2019 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Stent Moon

The last sliver of the stent moon.

A day out yesterday. Took Ruth and SeoAh over to Red Herring Arts only to discover that, in spite of their web page, they opened at 1 pm. Since they’re only open on Wednesdays during the week, that meant we’d have to give it a pass. Red Herring is on Colfax, a really long street that reminds me of Lake Street/Marshall in the Twin Cities. The western part of it, where Red Herring is, was once the Orthodox Jewish center of Denver. My friend Alan Rubin grew up there.

Now it’s filled with cheap motels: The Bunny Rabbit, The Swan, The Western, The Rocky Mountains, marijuana dispensaries, tattoo parlors, many Mexican restaurants. Casa Bonita, a Denver landmark known for its bad food and cliff divers, shares a wall with Red Herring. Casa Bonita advertised this Sunday in the Denver Post for cliff divers. I’ve not been, but someday.

We drove all the way into downtown Denver on Colfax, some miles. I love the transitions of these long, older streets. At one point we passed a Russian/Turkish bathhouse. Next to it was the Pleasure Palace.

As we neared Broadway we passed Civic Center Park. In a colonnade there Ai Weiwei, the dissident Chinese artist, has a set of bronze heads mounted on poles. They represent the Chinese zodiac.

At Broadway we headed south to Meiningers, Denver’s largest art supply store. Ruth’s working on a portrait of SeoAh and Murdoch in black and white, so I bought her some oil paint. I picked up a few things, too. A palette I can clean, unlike the wooden one I’ve been using. A few brushes, some paint and a color mixing guide. “You have to have one,” Ruth said. An expensive visit.

20190102_125509 20190102_125513 Next stop Stanley Marketplace. It’s one of many repurposed aviation buildings in Stapleton, a new urban development project on the site of the old Denver Stapleton Airport. SeoAh, Ruth, and I all love sushi and the Stanley has Misaki. We got ourselves a table and ordered. Two wooden serving platters later we were all full. I went next door to Maria’s Empanada’s and bought Kate, as requested, two mushroom empanadas. I also picked up a couple of italian sausage and beef empanadas, too. Dinner.

While I sat in a large open air lounge, Ruth and SeoAh went shopping. Jon lives nearby so we returned Ruth to his house and came back home. I find these outings take a lot of energy these days. Specifically these days in a nearly 72 year old body.

A good day. SeoAh had fun, got out of the house. Ruth picked up some supplies, so did I. And, we all had sushi. Better. We had a few hours to talk, cement bonds, build for the future.

Astrology, Commentary on the news, Faith and Spirituality, Holidays, Myth and Story, Politics, Reimagine. Reconstruct. Reenchant., Third Phase, US History

Fixed or Fluid

January 2, 2019 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Stent Moon

joy friends (2) The stent moon is a crescent, 12% illumination, hanging over Eduardo and Holly’s. It’s been everything I hoped. Next, a month focused on getting Kate’s weight up. What would you name the moon for that month? I’ll take ideas until Friday.

At night, before going to sleep, I identify the gifts given to me during the day, the gifts I’ve given and any trouble I’ve caused. Then, on waking I identify things I’m grateful for and things that bring joy. These simple habits, developed in mussar work over the last year, keep me aware of the ongoing miracle of the ordinary.

I woke up. The air is cool. My body’s ok. Kate’s beside me with no nausea or cramping. Kepler’s wagging his tail, ready to go upstairs for breakfast. The power came back on yesterday after a long outage. The generator works. I didn’t even know it was on. The long road to DIA offered good conversation with our second son. He’s going back to Minnesota to spend time with a friend who’s depressed. That gives me joy. Ruth up here painting and giving me tips. Joy. Pure. Gertie’s kisses. Murdoch’s bouncy, smiley presence. Snow. Cold. The black clear night sky with stars and a crescent moon. A car that works. SeoAh’s cooking. Kate’s joy at her relief. Gifts, joys, and gratitude. Everywhere I look.

biopolitics2 Are there challenges? Oh, yes. But our human tendency to scan the horizon for threats, be alert for danger often blinds us to everyday wonders. Life is not all about illness, or finances, or legal trouble, or separation from loved ones. Yes, these matters crop up in our lives just like the occasional predatory lion or tiger came upon our ancestors in the veldt or in the forests of India and, yes, we need to see them, understand them, respond. We do not, however, have to build our lives around them.

I’m reading an interesting book by two North Carolina political scientists, Prius or Pickup. It posits a continuum on these very matters with one ended anchored in a fixed worldview and the other in a fluid worldview. The fixed worldview folks see danger and threat wherever they look. Those with a fluid worldview have more confidence in the world, focus more on the richness of life. In between are various blends between the two that the authors call a mixed worldview. They argue that over the last few decades our political life has gradually aggregated those with a more fixed worldview in the Republican Party and those with a more fluid worldview in the Democratic.

20180720_124756 — Stay Calm and Keep on Fracking, Evergreen, 2018

A field I didn’t even know existed, biopolitics, ties these worldviews to neurological differences, our partisan political environment has an increasing gap of understanding. Since that gap has roots in our neurobiology, we find it increasingly difficult to understand, or perhaps more importantly, trust anyone in the other camp. I’ve not finished the book so I don’t know what they propose. Gifts, joy, and gratitude identifying habits might help.

2019 lies mostly ahead of us. Yes, it’s an artificial segmentation of our ongoing orbit around the sun, but it does mark the end of one orbit and the beginning of another. (though any day of the year would serve just as well) So we might consider, as we set off on another journey of 584 million miles, what, over all that distance, over that pilgrimage on which all us earthlings travel, we’ll choose as our focus. The threats in our life? Or, the joys, the ordinary miracles? Where we put our attention is our choice.

Art and Culture, Family, Myth and Story, Painting, Third Phase, Writing

Feliz Ano Nuevo

January 1, 2019 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Stent Moon

Here we are in another year. Took second son to the airport at 7 am. Big traffic jam about 10 minutes from the airport on Pena Road. Took 20 minutes to clear. Lot of pissed off people.

Went out to get gourmet food for New Year’s Eve. The whole family was here. KFC Littleton. I was the only customer. Drove down the hill, cussing at the Colorado drivers who don’t understand snow. Still seems weird to me, but there you are. Snowing, some snow on roads, a normal winter evening for Minnesota. Of course, add in altitude and it does change the equation some. But not down to 30 mph. Sigh.

Cold here. -9 last night. Some snow. Maybe 3 inches or so. Better than none.

On the drive last night I thought about year themes and resolutions. Not a big resolution maker anymore. Nonetheless, I made some anyhow. In short form they are eat, write, paint, exercise, read, teach, cook.

Long form. Eat no processed meats. Write new novel. (primal ensouled universe/enlightenment disenchanted universe. Next?) Keep painting, learning more techniques. Back to 3 days resistance, 3 days cardio. Learn how to read birth charts. Become a better teacher. Cook Korean and salt/fat/heat/acid. Continue kabbalah and mussar. Hike. Not resolutions so much as continuing, ramping up activities from 2018.

Having the whole family here for New Year’s Eve and morning made the house feel like a launching pad for the future. Us two old folks, our two kids, SeoAh and the grandkids. This family, these memories will live on into the hot future. Though Kate and I won’t be there; we will.

20190101_155858 Ruth has paint brush in hand working on a black and white version of a SeoAh and Murdoch photo. It’s so much fun to have her up here painting while I write this. Creativity bonds us. She’s using my oil paints, a medium with which she has little experience. She does have a lot of experience in acrylics, watercolors, photography. Her training has helped me a lot, too.

Ruth, SeoAh, and I have a trip planned tomorrow to Red Herring Art, then over to Stanley Marketplace for sushi. We all love sushi. I’m going to buy Ruth some paint and maybe a brush or two. Red Herring is the Denver art supply store that has the most sumi-e materials. This time though I’m going for its oil painting brushes and paint.

Ruth chatters on about her painting process. She’s a perfectionist, not necessarily a bad thing in an artist, but demanding. She did help me with one of my favorite tool paintings. This is the chef’s knife I use a lot. Top is mine before I finished filling it in, bottom is after I filled it in and Ruth helped me with blending on the knife.

Beyond the Boundaries, Faith and Spirituality, Great Wheel, Holidays, Latin, Myth and Story, Reimagine. Reconstruct. Reenchant., Third Phase

Janus

December 30, 2018 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Stent Moon

Janus Aging brings with it an inevitable glance over the shoulder. Did I matter? If so, how? If not, why? Does it matter if I mattered? I suppose it would be possible to disappear into regrets or vanity or even anguish. But, why?

The past, though we can change its role in our life by reframing, paradigm shifting, or, best in my opinion, acceptance, ended a moment ago. No do overs.

Interestingly, the New Year brings the same glance over the shoulder. At or around January 1st we become Janus* faced, looking squarely at the past year and the one upcoming. He’s the Ganesh of Roman mythology, the one you want on your side as you change jobs, get married, have a child. Wonder about the year ahead. And, the one behind.

As we inch past 70, Janus becomes a god with whom we must contend, one we may worship, even without knowing. He is the archetype for being of two minds, for that part of us that feels pulled back or pushed forward out of the moment.

When tomorrow comes and resolutions start to form, if you do resolutions, they will be concrete expressions of Janus in you. What were things out of the past year I might change for the better? Or out of my whole past? Resolutions express a regret and a hope. Wish I’d been less angry, more loving. Eaten a healthier diet. Been more aware of my authentic yearnings. And followed them. Wish I’d fallen in love. Or gotten out of that damned relationship. As a heuristic, a motivator for positive change, letting Janus take over for a limited time makes sense.

With him in the forefront we can see what was, imagine what might have been, then look forward to how we might live differently. But he is a god and you can’t let him take control. If all your time is spent with Janus’ two-faced view, you will be constantly out of the now, always taking a step back or a step ahead. If you look longer with his past oriented visage, you will tend toward depression. If your gaze looks toward the future overly long, you will tend toward anxiety.

Perhaps a shrine or an altar to Janus could help with this. The Numa Janus shrine** had gates that could be opened or closed. Open, Rome was at war. Closed, Rome was at peace. A small shrine at home might have a door that could be open or closed. When open, you’re consulting the Janus moments in your life, staying open to the truth of the past and its importance for your future. When closed, you’re trying to remain in the present, not get pulled away to what was or ahead to what to might be.

On December 31st, the Days of Awe, and maybe your birthday or anniversary, open the gate of your own shrine. Sit with Janus for a while. Feel in your person the frisson between the face that sees yesterday and the face that sees tomorrow. Consider what that feeling means for your life, not as a route to depression or anxiety, but as a way of knowing how they link together, or better, how they might link together. Take yesterday’s lessons and let them inform life as it moves toward tomorrow. After that, close the gate and live now.

*…the god of beginnings, gates, transitions, time, duality, doorways, passages, and endings.” Wiki

**”Janus presided over the beginning and ending of conflict, and hence war and peace. The gates of a building in Rome named after him (not a temple, as it is often called, but an open enclosure with gates at each end) were opened in time of war, and closed to mark the arrival of peace (which did not happen very often)…Numa built the Ianus geminus (also Janus Bifrons, Janus Quirinus or Portae Belli), a passage ritually opened at times of war, and shut again when Roman arms rested.^[49] It formed a walled enclosure with gates at each end, situated between the old Roman Forum and that of Julius Caesar, which had been consecrated by Numa Pompilius himself.” op cit.

Cinema and Television, Family, Health, Politics, US History, World History

The Blade Runner Year

December 29, 2018 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Stent Moon

Kate’s face is smoother. She’s smiling. Her weight is stable, though not yet trending up so much as back and forth around 82. She walks no longer with the pained, slightly stooped habitus of a sick person, but, the steady, if slow, gate of a healthy one. 2019. The year things begin to improve. I hope. (and, believe)

2019. The Blade Runner year. Dystopian time? Match. Authoritarian regime? Match. Police killing those marginalized to society? Match. The cinematography of our era may look different-though Hong Kong, Shanghai, Dubai-but the underlying premise of a dark future catching up with all of us was prescient, if not exactly surprising.

No flying cars. At least not in mass production. No replicants, though there a clone or two running around, at least one we know of for sure. Video screens wide spread? Match. Too much of a damned match. In fact, I consider one of my achievements for the year turning off TV’s in medical reception areas when nobody’s watching. When Kate went in for her imaging at Porter Adventist, we were the first ones in the waiting room in the bleary part of the morning. I turned off the TV and it was still turned off when we left about three hours later. Score!

Dystopian futures, even ours from the perspective of 1982, have this seeming anomaly: Life goes on. Most folks make some accommodation, some compromise, and go on with their daily routines. Short of mass suicide, what other option is there? It is those very accommodations and compromises that are fertile soil for the demagogue and the populist. See Trump, Erdogan, Germany’s alt-right, Hungary’s Viktor Orban, Brazil’s Michel Temer. Movies have to convey dystopian troubles cinematically, so we think if the visuals don’t correlate with ours that the movie doesn’t apply. Wrong. It’s the core cultural themes that are important.

So I would say this is the Blade Runner year, with visuals a bit less thrilling.

Art and Culture, Colorado, Literature, Myth and Story, Writing

Mile High Comics

December 29, 2018 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Stent Moon

20181228_135344 Went to Mile High Comics yesterday. They advertise as America’s largest and friendliest comics dealer. When we went in, a staffer, maybe the owner, hipster beard and comic icon t-shirt, greeted us. “This place is big. 1983 to 3 months ago is all here. He gestured toward row after row of white boxes on tables, “All alphabetized by title regardless of publisher.” To our left, along the wall of this cavernous 45,000 square foot warehouse, “…are variants (particular issues of a comic with different cover art from the original). Marvel and DC work with us, so many of them are unique, only available here.” The new comics, in the last three months, had tables and chair in front of them for friendly perusing.

“Back there, where the Help Desk sign is, we have our inventory. Customers can’t go back there, but it’s all searchable and staff will bring you anything you want to see. 8 million comics in inventory. 2 million on display. 10 million all together.” He seemed sincere, but the numbers seem pretty damned high to me. Even so, there’s no doubt there were a vast amount of comic books.

It’s not a fancy place. Bare concrete floors with gray sealer paint, carpet squares laid down in front of the new comics. The fixtures were used, bought at auction, I imagine. A ten foot ceiling and the only walls marked off bathrooms, a utility closet and a small backroom area. A long outside wall, one that runs along now disused railroad tracks, had the silver and golden age comics, 1930-1983. Many of them, the rarest editions, sat under clear plastic covers that reached to the ceiling. Many of the prices were impressive. $2,000 was not an unusual price point.

20181228_142947 In addition to the 10 million comics several different displays featured toys related to the various universes represented in the comic book world. A true multiverse of the mind. There were Star Wars toys with death stars and yodas, Empire fighters and Millennium Falcons. Star Trek toys with Data, Captain Picard, models of the Enterprise. A large Ironman statue. Intricate modeled scenes from Batman, Superman, the Marvel comics sat alongside small action figures. There were chess pieces made of comic book figurines, including one full chess set with pieces modeled from Batman characters.

There weren’t many people there at 1 pm on Friday afternoon. But of those that were thick glasses, unkempt hair, and a distracted look was common. Nerd stereotypes that would fit well in the Big Bang Theory.

I didn’t buy anything. The size of the place and the vast number of things on offer overwhelmed me. I went to the chairs and tables in the new comics section, sat down, and closed my eyes.

Jefferson County, Mountains, Our Land and Home, Shadow Mountain, Weather +Climate

Snow and Cold

December 28, 2018 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Stent Moon

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, a couple of days late. 1 below this morning, fresh snow, just a bit. Black Mountain has on its winter dress. When I went to get the paper, the snow crunched beneath my feet and the air slapped my cheeks until they were red. One of the things I love about the snow is that it records at least some of the critters that came through our property. Rabbit, this morning, I think. Two. The waning gibbous Stent Moon was in the south, over Eduardo and Holly’s.

Here a few photos:

Asia, Cooking, Family, Holidays

H-Mart

December 28, 2018 Charles Leave a comment

Winter Stent Moon

SeoAh and I went to H-Mart yesterday. Not sure if I’ve written about it before or not. H-Mart is a New Jersey based, Korean owned Asian grocery chain. It has two stores in the Denver metro. An obligatory part of a SeoAh visit is at least one visit to H-Mart. These are huge stores, set up like a cross between a grocery store and a suk with many small shops set inside a standard mall large box. On any visit there are folks from India, China, Korea, Japan, Vietnam scrutinizing the produce, buying live lobster or clams or fish, Asian cookware and dishes, choosing from so many brands of soy sauce. There are, too, the occasional Caucasians, some in families with Asian kids, presumably adopted, a few just shopping for themselves.

I asked SeoAh if seeing all the Asian people made her feel at home. She shook her head, then picked up a package of rice cakes, “But the food? That makes me feel at home.”

My goal in going with her was to learn how she shops, what she looks for. I want to learn at least a few Korean dishes; but, I really want to learn how a Korean cook thinks. That way I can make my own Korean meals. Kate likes the food and so do I.

A problem quickly arose however. SeoAh bought items with Korean language labels. Well, just look at it, I thought. What’s that? I asked. You know ginseng? Yes. Dried. Ah. So many kinds of seaweed, including some small packets, lunch box sized. I like them, remembered she bought them last time, but I’d never recognize them again. Guess I’ll have to take photographs.

Another issue is that both H-Marts are far from here. At least an hour. No good for weekly shopping. I love their ambiance though and even more the wide selection of fresh food. I might try to get there a bit more often that during SeoAh’s visits.