Category Archives: Travel

Colorado, Dogs, Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Health, Hermitage, Jefferson County, Shadow Mountain, Travel, Weather +Climate

A day with Ruth

1 Comment

Winter and the Wolf Moon

Sunday (Christmas) gratefuls: The gift of incarnation. Of life. In Ruth. In Kep. In the Lodgepoles. In the Water of Maxwell Creek. In the Stone of Shadow Mountain. In the life sustaining Air. In the powerful Fire. In the rich and ever giving Soil. In my own body. A visit with Ruth. Colorado Springs. Pine Valley Road. North Fork of the South Platte. Woodland Park. The Rescue Mission in the underbelly of Colorado Springs. The rickety houses in the neighborhood around it. All those cracks where the light comes in.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Ruth

 

Two decisions. Neither major. Took a while. Should I go the safe route down to Colorado Springs. 470 to I-25. Or take the beautiful Pine Valley Road and risk having my AWD malfunction light come on, return me to front wheel drive? Maybe something worse? Should I take Kep again with me to see Ruth? He seemed to enjoy it. Or should I leave him at home and come back to a puddle or two? Fussed with them for a while. Longer than I needed to. Miss having a second voice here. Kate’s.

Took Pine Valley Road and left Kep in the new dining room with the door closed to the rest of the house. Called Susan Taylor and paid her to come feed him at 2 pm, stay with him for a while to let him in and out a few times. No puddles. A happy Kep when I returned. Yay.

The Pine Valley Road had more up and down, more curves than I remembered. More snow than I expected. Beautiful. Minnesota driving skills made it easy peasy. The North Fork of the South Platte which carves the valley was no longer frozen over, running cold over Stones and around sweeping bends. No fly fisherman like there would have been on a more clement Saturday. Flash flood warning signs near Cheeseman Reservoir, one of the big ones for the city of Denver. Not visible from the switchbacks that take the road past it.

A journey of Mountains and Streams, landscapes with Mountains in the distance. Pikes Peak among them. The Pike National Forest. Campgrounds. Those National Forest Service signs. A series of curves with signs: Motorcyclists exercise extreme caution! Little traffic. Past Decker. Eventually into Woodland Park. A Mountain town ready for the tourist dollar.

Into Colorado Springs the back way past Manitou Springs where the Pikes Peak Cog Railroad chugs up the Mountain. Got a little turned around and found the raggedy edge of the Springs. Shotgun houses with cars and appliances permanently parked around them. A brave Rainbow flag flying graced one. Maybe three blocks. Then a have to left turn which took me past the Rescue Mission as the men, all men as far as I could see, were leaving the building for a day on the streets. Some stopping, conversing. Others trudging on toward their spots or their camps. Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Yeah.

 

Found Ruth. Juniper building. A phone on the wall. Punched 0 for the receptionist. A voice, very faint. yes. Here to see Ruth Olson. what. Ruth Olson. I know, but she has a pass. oh. Finally two women came. Here for Ruth? She’s very excited. Such a sweet girl. Yes, I agree. A very sweet girl.

She came out wearing one of Kate’s jackets. A thin one. Would later complain of being cold. A big smile and a hug. I’m leaving the building with no techs! She shook her head in amazement. Her first pass since she got there the Friday before Thanksgiving.

In the car we made plans. Limited plans. It was Christmas Eve and all the museums were closed. And there were a lot of museums. The Zoo? Too cold. She opened all her Hanukah presents. Happy with Smart Wool socks, the notebook from Annie, the oil paints from Sarah and Jerry, the chocolate I brought her. A kiddie moment for a too soon mature 16 year old going on 30.

Food? Yeah, I’m hungry. Sushi? Yeah. I know a place. I asked Alexis. We found Uri sushi. In the hood, Alexis said. A pretty upscale hood imho. Wonderful sushi. Alexis was right about that. We had the sashimi combo and three rolls. Ruth ate. Happy to be out of the hospital. In a restaurant on her own with only her grandpop. No staff. No walls. No fences. No two sliding gates to get in and out.

Next out to Anthony’s Nails in the upscale Briargate Mall. You know. Lululemon. Anthropologie. Boutique clothing stores. An Apple store. That sort of thing.

A mani-pedi for both of us. Ruth took control. I’ll talk to them. She told them what I wanted, then went to the three bookshelf sized collection of colors to choose a gel for her toes and one for her fingers. A pinkish silver and a sparkly black. A petite Vietnamese woman with an elf hat on came to me and we walked back to the pedicure chairs.

If you’ve never done this, pedicure chairs are something. Many have massage rollers in the chairback. Mine did not. They do have a throne like feel. The person receiving the pedicure sits high up above the person working on their feet. Somewhat Jesus like it just occurred to me. There’s a small plastic lined bathtub for your feet into which hot to warm water pours.

My elf hatted lady opened her rolling container of tools, taking out nail clippers. Ruth sat beside me. This place was fancy. Two rows of pedicure chairs the length of the store with the nail stands in the middle. A water feature in the back. White columns separating the ranks of six pedicure chairs from each other. A bar up front with mineral water, a water tank filled with lemons and apple slices. Even liquor.

I had on a Vermont Flannel shirt and jeans. Ruth had on Kate’s old jacket and black sweat pants. We were not dressed for the occasion. Made it a bit more fun.

We continued our conversation begun over sushi while the two women cut our nails, pushed back the cuticles, trimmed and massaged our feet. Ruth was more open and more clear than she had been. Much less defensive. We spoke about her Dad, family counseling sessions. Her visits to equine therapy and the therapy dogs. The other folks in her building. Their antics.

The next stop was to be a bookstore, but Ruth remembered the Garden of the Gods. We drove there. I’ve never been. We didn’t get out. Again, too cold and grandpop was getting tired. Shards of red rock let alone, spread out from each other. Tall and majestic. Balancing rock which Ruth remembered climbing as a little girl.

The road through Garden of the Gods ends near Manitou Springs, another Mountain town ready for the tourist dollar. We decided to drive through it since Ruth had never seen it. I pointed out a person in costume. That’s not just a costume, grandpop. That’s a furry. Oh. I’m gonna tell everybody when I get back that I saw a furry. Well, we all have our ways to hide.

We did find the bookstore. Not the one Ruth wanted, but the Springs branch of Tattered Covers, the most well known Denver bookstore. We wandered through it pointing at books we’d read. Have you read this? No. Oh, this is wonderful. Yes, I liked it too.

At that point Ruth had worn out and I was ready to head home. I signed her back in at 6 pm, left the sliding wire gates behind me and drove back to Shadow Mountain and Kep.

Colorado, Denver, Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Hawai'i, Health, Hermitage, Jefferson County, Judaism, Memories, Minnesota, Mountains, Shadow Mountain, The Move, The West, Travel

Jerseys. Drug Holidays. Golden.

Leave a comment

Fall and the Simchat Torah Moon

Tuesday gratefuls: Memories. Friability. Dreams. The same. Mini-splits. Warm when and where I want it. Cool, too. That back I never had mowed. Beautiful and dangerous if a Fire came through. Sigh. New options for the move. An obvious one, missed until now. Diane. Robin. Tal. His turn at the Creativity Class. Acting class tonight. Chekhov. The Seagull. Uncle Vanya. Ivanov. Will read the Cherry Orchard today. Growing. Right here in Colorado. Change. Stability. One inevitable, the other pleasant while it lasts.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Lead time yields multiple options

 

Whether a correction is in order or not about yesterday’s post, let me be clear: my cousin Diane prefers Jerseys. Always has. Always will. In fact she wore a t-shirt while here that read: Zike Jerseys. Morristown. Higher butterfat than those run of the mill Holsteins. At first she thought my memory might have been wrong, but then she remembered Uncle Riley often bought Holstein bull calves to feed out and sell for slaughter. Could have been some of them. Or, my memory could be faulty.

Still eating through the collection of See’s chocolates Diane brought. A real treat. Ramping up my yogurt and fruit game, too. Told you she was a good influence. Bean and cheese burrito plus yogurt and raspberries for breakfast.

 

Televisit with Kristie. So. Once a month urology oncologists, radiologists, and other specialists and their physicians assistants have a round table dicussion. Each one who wants gets up to two cases to present, then the gathered group provides advice and thoughts. Since Dr. Eigner. my oncologist, and Dr. Simpson, radiation oncologist, differ on their view of the bony sclerosis on my thoracic spine, Kristie will present next Wednesday.

A presentation consists of an overview of treatment from diagnosis through procedures and lab work up to the present day. In my case it will span the time from May 2015 to October 2022. The particular issue in my instance is whether I have metastases causing the swelling on my spine. Dr. Simpson wants to radiate it; Dr. Eigner wants to ignore it.

The most likely result of the conference will be some earlier scans and if felt necessary an MRI to determine the exact nature of those sclerosis. This is good for me because my case is getting reviewed by many docs. Sorta like a fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth opinion.

Kristie gave me some other news, too. If my numbers continue the same PSA undetectable and testosterone low for the next 10 months, I’ll go on a drug holiday. Not sure how long. The reason? These drugs lose their effectiveness over time and a holiday from them reserves some of their capacity so I can still use them. I forgot to ask what the cancer does during the holiday. Lives it up I suppose.

Kristie is a caring doc. I like her and she likes me, a good deal for both of us. We discussed the fatigue I have in the early afternoon. She suggested I check myself while in Hawai’i. If I don’t have it there, it could be psychosomatic. Which was one of my thoughts, too. Good idea.

 

Seeing Kristie brought to the fore a third option for the move, one I’d neglected to consider. Move down the hill. I’ve neglected it because I thought of it as moving to Denver, a place I don’t want to live. But I’ve begun looking seriously into Golden. Once I get to down to 5 600-5 800 feet my O2 sats return to normal.

I’d thought about moving to a college town if Hawai’i didn’t work out, then Minnesota got on my list. Golden has the Colorado School of Mines. That means cultural opportunities. It’s also closer to Boulder with its cultural opportunities and restaurants. Also, it’s right at the base of the Foothills and abuts Interstate 70, a quick shot up to Evergreen and CBE.

Seeing Kristie brought this to mind. I really appreciate her attention to my situation and I wouldn’t have to change oncologists. Medical care in Hawai’i and Minnesota is excellent, so I don’t imagine there would be any degradation of care, but I know Kristie and Dr. Eigner. Eigner since May of 2015. And Kate thought him a good doc.

Not to mention that it would save some money on the move. Quite a bit probably. And retain that link to Gabe and Ruth. All three have strong arguments. Now we’ll see where the different factors begin to move my  heart as we get closer to a pruned house and and a sold house.

Oh. And one more thing. Over the last year especially I’ve found my personal growth accelerating with CBE and mussar, with the Kabbalah Experience classes, and with my CBE friends. A move to Golden would preserve those. Not an insignificant consideration.

 

Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Travel

Narrow Gauge

Leave a comment

Imbolc and the Durango Moon

Isaac, Ronnie, and Dan

Thursday gratefuls: 10 hours of sleep. Two eggs, bacon, potatoes, sour dough toast, grape jam, and coffee. Better. Still tired. Climbing from Durango to Silverton by train. Our table partners, Dan and Ronnie. Amarillo, Texas. The River of Souls, the Animas, which we followed up and down. Think about that. The longest undammed river in the U.S. according to Isaac, the car attendant. I leaned out the window and said, “I damn you.” to the river. Fixed that. The wonder of Rock, Ponderosa Pine, Lodgepole, Wildflowers, Waterfalls, Creeks, Grass, steep Canyons, and the roaring of the River of Souls.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Rapids in the River of Souls

 

Tom asked Isaac, “What’s the oddest question you’ve ever been asked?” Isaac thought a moment. “Well, there’s quite a few, but this one is the oddest. At what altitude do Deer turn into Elk?” I asked him what he’d answered. I don’t remember the exact altitude, but he said, “Oh, about 8,000 feet. Then about 12,ooo feet they turn into Moose. And above that they turn into Unicorns.”

Isaac has five years in as an employee of the Durango to Silverton RR; they give him enough seniority to work the Alamosa Car, the end of the train and the most expensive accommodations aboard the ten car train. He was droll, as you can tell, without being sarcastic. Not an easy line to tread. But, he was hoping for tips from everybody.

Rather than natter on, here are some pics from the day:

 

Acting, Dogs, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Hawai'i, Health, Hermitage, Kabbalah, Shadow Mountain, Travel

Going slow

Leave a comment

Imbolc and the Durango Moon

Tuesday gratefuls: Tom. The Fort. The trip to Durango. Kep. Susan. Medicated shampoo for Kep. Japanese garbage and recycling rules. Thanks, Mary. Monsoon Rains. Green in the Mountains. The Mountain Streams flowing full, still. Our Aquifers replenished. Tal. The Master Class. Chekov. Kabbalah Experience, a class on creativity.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Friendship

 

Visit to Dr. Gonzalez. The AM. She apologized for the slow pace of getting my thyroid back into the desired zone of 1-3. Now at 5. Last time 7. The higher the number the less well my thyroid is working. But, she said, we don’t want to make you too speedy so we have to go slow. She explained, too, that the anemia from my proctitis also effects my energy level. Not just about being old, eh?

After seeing her, I went to Big R and Walmart searching for kiddie pools to bathe the Kep. No joy. Too late in the season. Ordered one from Amazon. The shampoo did not come yesterday anyhow. A task for the next few weeks.

That wore me out. The problem with the thyroid and anemia. So back home I picked up, cleaned up, took a nap.

 

Tom arrived around 3:30. He sat down in the red chair and drank a mineral Water while we talked. He noticed I have Breath, a book he read recently. Discursive, but good, he said.

We went to the Fort last night for dinner. Thought it would still be under customered. Wrong. So the two hard of hearing guys sat across the table from each other saying, what? And leaning in. Very hard for me since our waiter, Adam, had a falsetto voice pitched in exactly the frequencies I lost some time ago. Tom couldn’t hear him well because the background made him take his hearing aids out. Geez. Not quite as much fun as I’d anticipated.

We take off this morning for a six hour journey to Durango and the steam train to Silverton tomorrow at 9 am. Breakfast somewhere on the road. Maybe the Cutthroat Cafe in Bailey.

 

Took my first acting class last spring with Tal Arnold, Rabbi Jamie’s son. Wanted to follow with another one. I asked Tal which one he would recommend. To my surprise he suggested I take the Master Class which will focus on Chekov. A Master Class after my first class? Guess I’ll have to level up with whoever else is in it. Tal thought the depth of the material would interest me. Bless his heart.

Also signed up, a bit oddly, with Kabbalah Experience for a Friday morning class with Rabbi Jamie on creativity and the Kabbalah. All Arnold instruction for fall and early winter.

The Kabbalah piece is a focus on Binah, the third sefirot, the dominant feminine power in the Tree of Life, often called Understanding. Before it comes Keter, the crown and the link to the ayn sof, the great mystery beyond or behind all (Hashem, the unnameable, the ineffable), and Chochmah, the divine masculine.

Ideas come from Keter but only enter the world through Chochmah, conceptual knowledge and/or wisdom. They are solely in the intellectual realm however until they pass over into Binah. Binah makes ideas into something. Thus, creativity.

These classes should help keep me here in the Mountains even as I set things in motion to leave for the Ocean.

 

 

Aging, Colorado, Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Hawai'i, Shadow Mountain, Travel

Momentum

Leave a comment

Imbolc and the Durango Moon

The Big Mo. 2021

Monday gratefuls: Aerodynamics. Lift. Jet engines. Shrinking distances. The sweetness of family. Learning it in old age. Even sweeter. Kep. Home. Shadow Mountain. Evergreen. Ana and her coworker cleaning my house. Right now. Jet lag. Staying up as long as I can. Actual sleep on the plane! New for me. The idea of leaving Shadow Mountain. Landing in Honolulu.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Limbering up the mind for a new adventure

 

Lililha Bakery, Ala Moana Mall

Around 2 am Hawai’i time I was somewhere over CONUS. The Pacific in our rear view. The flight attendants had served a biscuit and coffee. Then turned the lights off again. I couldn’t read because it seemed too bright for my back to sleep seat mates. Chose to think.

Realized that travel is the breaking of inertia. It is the liminal space between one form of inertia and another. Right then I was neither in Hawai’i or Colorado. I was up in the air. Literally.

I had slept maybe 5 hours, in and out. But full awake then.

It’s hard to change. Especially patterns or places of long standing. And, especially as we get older. Change gets more scary, seems to have more risks. Not sure it does. Just seems so.

Kate and I took eight months to ramp up for the move to Colorado. And needed every day of it. Here’s the thing though. Once the idea got rooted Andover seemed over. Wonderful, special while it lasted. But over.

I’m feeling the same way now. Driving home from the airport this morning it became clear to me that I’m tired of the hassles of home ownership. Car ownership. Ownership. This is independent of how I choose to solve the problem.

I love Shadow Mountain as much or more than I did Andover. But without a partner to help with the necessary work of maintaining, sustaining a property, I’m ready to let it go. I can do it. Am doing it. Have done for the last year and four months. Really the last 4 years. Just don’t want the hassle anymore.

Let somebody else call the plumber. Find the electrician. Think about the mortgage. Backing away from all this will take some time and I want it to. I want to slowly but carefully put away this American dream life and replace it with a life focused in other ways.

Gonna spend at least six months testing the financial aspects. How much will I net if I sell the house for different amounts? How much will it really cost per month to live in Honolulu. Should I take my car or sell it? Use public transportation and rentals. Will entail some further time in Hawai’i visiting rental agents and rental properties. Looking at hidden costs. Potential hidden savings. How much will getting Shadow Mountain ready to sell take? That includes eliminating what I wouldn’t take with me. Most of the stuff I own. How much will it cost to move what’s left?

Then there are the tough parts of leaving Colorado. Jon. Ruth. Gabe. Beth Evergreen. Getting a chance to see more of this wonderful area before I leave.

Many other details to be considered, fussed over. Medical matters. Legal changes. Maybe a round of visits to family here, friends.

A project for the time between now and Ruth’s graduation. At least I think I’ll stay that long. When Kate and I chose to move here, we initially gave ourselves a couple of years but once the momentum took over, we got ready and moved in more like eight months.

It’s that feeling that Shadow Mountains over. Then. Honolulu is now. That could push me faster than I’m thinking right now. Momentum is a big deal. We’ll see.

Travel

Aloha

Leave a comment

Summer and the Aloha Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Rain. Rain. Stay and Play, please come another day. Packed. Leaving at 7:30 am for parking in Aurora. 11:30 flight. Early check-in failed. Maybe. Excited. Ready. Flurry of stuff to do. All boxes ticked. I think. Kep already in bed. On clean linens and quilts. Dishes washed. Trash in the bin. Ready for Susan. Seoah gets in this afternoon.

 

2021

Writing this Saturday night so I can pack my computer.

Getting ready to travel without Kate is both easier and harder. Easier because I don’t have to schlep her stuff. Harder because there is no one to check my work. Also harder because she’s not here.

Whenever I travel to Hawai’i I have one theme that dominates. I’ve done isolation, tropical Plants, oceans, trails, and this trip, what does it mean to be an Island? Not sure how I’ll investigate that just yet. But it will come to me once I’m there.

Got a mani-pedi and a bottle of tramadol. Did laundry and other domestic type things. The usual before trip things. A little anxious. Don’t remember much about the trip last June. It was longer and I took more stuff, but it was all a blur.

Next time I post I’ll be on Island time. Aloha.

Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Shadow Mountain, Travel

Just. Too. Much. Fun.

Leave a comment

Summer and the Aloha Moon

ichi-go, ichi-e (for anavah)

art@willworthington

Saturday gratefuls: Airlines. Sort of. Blue Sky. Black Mountain. Well Water. Rains feeding the Aquifer. Heat. Kep. Jon, coming up to do some work. Rockfish. Cornbread. Caesar Salad. Using the kitchen. Reading in my chair. Watching less television. Exercise consistent: 3-4 hours a week. Diet: much, much better. Money. Enough. Wrassling it so it will be so.

Sparks of joy and awe: Cooking in the remodeled kitchen

Tarot: Queen of Stones, Bear

“Learn to manage things wisely, preserve values, and do things better, give rituals. Beware of wasting resources.” tarotx.net

 

Learn to manage things wisely. Well, working on ma budget. Just so. Does anybody like to budget? I suppose so. I’m not one, but I have to. I have finite resources that have to last for my finite life. If only I had a death date, it would be much easier.

Discovered a bad habit or two. My inner consumer says, “I need.” or, “I gotta.” Training myself to say, no, I want or no I can choose based on what makes sense.

I’ve found the internet so damned easy for buying things. Not only, not even primarily Amazon, but just stuff. Subscriptions. I’m a sucker for information created by intelligent people, written well. Also services like NYT cooking. Cooking Ventures. Sitka Salmon Shares.

I have discovered buying groceries online, however, saves me money. Less impulse buying. Almost none. Picking it up saves me time and exposure. That’s been a real positive.

And, since I live in the Mountains and I won’t shop at Walmart (there’s one in Evergreen), most things are much simpler to order and have shipped. Saves time and money. No more quests involving multiple trips to stores trying to find what I want or need. Not to mention that I don’t like shopping.

So there’s locational pressure to use the internet, but I need now to learn how to use it wisely, every time.

And, I need to stick to a budget. I’m not that faraway, really. I let some things sneak up on me and got myself in a jam right now, but I’m getting it back under control. Hope I won’t have to give up too much I’ve got planned.

I admire my sibs, Mark and Mary. They’ve lived a life free of the issues related to home ownership and used that freedom to travel the world. Good choice. They also both seem to manage their money well enough to not get themselves into scrapes like this. Good on them.

Which is not to say I want their life. I’ve been, and am, a rooted guy wedded to place. I like to travel, sure, but I like my home even more. Relative to travel owning a home is a distinct trade-off. As are kids and dogs. Gardens. More my thing.

Well, time for breakfast then a day devoted to budgeting. Just. Too. Much. Fun.

 

Colorado, Politics, Shadow Mountain, Tarot, Travel

Disgust and Rage

Leave a comment

Summer and the Living in the Mountains Moon

Friday gratefuls: Mussar. Rabbi Jamie. Luke. Bear. Kohler generator. Maintenance. Kaspersky. I still trust them. Helped me recover my password manager. Why I couldn’t post earlier. Rain and a cool down. Pride Shabbat tonight. View from the Bridge. Learning lines. Tal. Hamish. Sunday. Kep.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Buddies

Tarot: Knight of Bows, the Stoat

“In The Wildwood Tarot, Stoat is associated with the sovereignty of the land. This is because, during the summer months, his coat is a burnished copper, but in the winter, the coat turns white – still with his small black tail. The color combination of red, white, and black has an ancient and sacred connection to the land we encountered in The Wildwood Tarot.

The sovereignty of the land means the ground below our feet is sacred. When we separate ourselves from the land, we lose touch with an important and ancient part of ourselves – and our journey through Wildwood will reunite ourselves to the land.”   tarotx.net

 

 

A need to connect to the land could not be more important on this a sad, sad day for America. At least America as I have understood her and still understand her. Guns and abortions. Talk about virtue signaling. These are decisions that play to a base and do not reflect the constitution or even the vast majority of Americans. You’ve seen the numbers, I presume. It’s not a reach to call them The Extremes.

America has become a fantasy land bred on 4Chan and nourished in the annals of the KKK. Evangelical Christianity married white supremacy and its bastard child is the reckoning in all the news outlets today. Oh, Trump. Yeah. He seems almost like a side show. This is inexcusable. Villainous. Wrong. Evil.

Making children come into a world where their elementary school will be a place they fear? That’s absurd. Feeding both sides of this shitshow. Remarkable. Absolutely fucking remarkable.

Burning women at the stake? Is that where we’re headed? A Scarlet Letter. A for abortion. Feels like it. I’m so angry I could, I don’t know what. At least not yet.

Gonna make this a short one because my rationality has been overcome by sheer disgust and rage.

 

Acting, Cooking, Dogs, Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Garden, Health, Hermitage, Memories, Mountains, Our Land and Home, Plants, Shadow Mountain, Tarot, Travel

Androgyny. Needs and Desires.

Leave a comment

Summer and the Living in the Mountains Moon

Thursday grateful: Running lines with Alan. The Campfire. That pastrami sandwich. Feeling conflicted. Money. Trips. Axumin scan. Long term care insurance premium. Maybe a new (read expensive) hot water heater. Friends. Family. Travel. A need for rest, time away. How to reconcile. The synagogue. Luke. Rebecca. Jamie. Marilyn and Irv. Kep. So excited in the morning. Food, dad, food!

Sparks of Joy and Awe: It’s a ladle (not a spoon, you dumb ignoramus!) a line from the Odd Couple

Tarot: The Seer, #2 of the major arcana

“With the innate ability to balance emotions and the power of will and source of knowledge, The Seer encourages us to change the ordinary material world. She uses all of The Wildwood’s natural resources skillfully. She nurtures positive changes in people’s minds, expressed through emotions and commitment to life. Her magic is one of the purest and most revered things on earth.”  tarotx.net

 

Androgyny. Quite a ways back Kate paid me a compliment, one I’ve treasured. “You’re the most androgynous person I know, Charlie.” I value the balance of yin and yang, of the feminine and the masculine. In me. I love being a sensitive man who will knock down injustice. I love cooking, raising kids, keeping a nice house. The chainsaw and I were one. Back when I could still hold one. The axe, too. I loved gardening, the labor of it and the nurture of plants. Raising dogs and caring for them when they’re sick. I loved being in relationship with Kate.

The Seer and I are old friends. Her feminine intuition, her link to Mother Earth. I feel them. Honor them. Honor her. She was the one who told me, “You need to be a Dad.” And, I listened. She was the one who told me, “You need to write.” And, I did. She was the one who told me, “Marry Kate. Right now.” I did. I listen to her as often as I can, as closely as possible. She was the one who told me, “Move to Colorado. Be close to Ruth and Gabe as they grow up.” And, we did. I have never regretted hearing her voice.

Drawing this card today reminds me to collect the information I’ve gleaned over the last year and two months since Kate died. To listen to the Seer once again. Hear her advice on what happens next. What I need to do now. Listening.

 

I’ve put myself in a box. One of my own making, one that expresses deep desires but may not conform, right now, to my reality. I really want to go to Durango with Tom. I really want to see the Redwoods with Diane. I really want to extend my reunion trip and visit Sarah and Jerry at Belews Creek. But. In August I have my Axumin scan. Over a thousand bucks. Then in September my long term care insurance comes due. Three and half times that. Plus I may need a new water heater. Maybe more than the two combined.

Money. I have enough. Yes. But not more than enough. I so want to go places, see other people. But. I may have to settle for Hawai’i until I’ve seen my way through these big expenses. Adulting. Bah, Bah. Gonna have to count my pennies again. Stay tuned.

Acting, Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Great Wheel, Mountains, Our Land and Home, Shadow Mountain, Travel

The Summer Solstice. And Acting.

Leave a comment

Summer and the Living in the Mountains Moon

art@willworthington

Tuesday gratefuls: Learning. Acting. Felix. Alfieri. The Black Box. Low friction theater. Tech night. Showcase. Summer Solstice. Beltane, leaving. Growth. Green. Pollen. Mountain trails. Black Mountain green, Lodgepoles and Aspen. Very cool morning, 43. Blue Colorado Sky. Pure yang. Today only. Ichi-go, ichi-e. Needing to work harder at learning lines.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Our Showcase on the 27th, all scenes go up

Tarot: Two of Arrows, Injustice

“Two of Arrows, Injustice, encourages us to be less judgmental and critical of the motives of others. We rarely know what is going on and why someone is doing what they do. Today the Two of Arrows asks us to step out of time for a moment. Orientate ourselves with the Wildwood: question our beliefs and seek out the truth of a situation.” tarotx.net

 

How about that Summer Solstice? See Deng Ming Dao’s comment below.* I love the feeling of growth and abundance that shows all around me. Lush Grasses in the Meadows. (the pollen, meh) Green Pine Needles make the Lodgepoles look Spruced up. (lol) The Aspens sway in the wind, their Catkins beginning to emerge. The Mountain Streams have slowed as the Snow melt and Spring Rains have receded.

Coming home last night I saw a young Mule Deer Buck, his small rack still in velvet. He dined on the tall grasses growing up from the edge of Brookforest Drive. Munching as I drove past, he looked up for a moment to acknowledge my passing.

The sun had set but still cast light on the Western horizon. The longest Day. As Deng Ming Dao notes though, this marks the apotheosis of Yang for the year. From this point on it declines until we reach the Yin moment of the Winter Solstice.

June 17, 2015. Shadow Mountain

Beltane to Lughnasa. The growing season in its most vigorous, summer marking its middle. Corn has long since jetted past the old cliche of knee high by the Fourth of July. New hybrids grow faster, yield more. But? Better? Well…

The Midwest throws a party for the Summer Solstice. Corn and Beans pushing toward harvest. Cows in the fields and in the barns. Pigs getting fed. Chickens roosting, finally, at home. Farmers hard at work from sunup to sundown. The remnants of the Big Woods in full leaf and flower. Grasses green and plentiful. Alfalfa. Timothy. Almost to first cutting.

Without this season the whole world goes hungry. Celebrate, celebrate, dance to the music!

 

Acting. Alan and I met for breakfast then went over to the synagogue where we ran lines for the Odd Couple. Four times. And screwed them up at tech night. Tech night means final blocking and working on the lights. Tal said this was low friction theater. Minimal stage dressing.

Learning lines has proven more of a challenge than I expected. I’ve not put in enough time and plan to remedy that this week. I’m going to learn how to read my partner’s lines into the computer so I can toggle it on and off while repeating my lines. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. As long as it takes.

At this point I do know the lines for both The View from a Bridge and the Odd Couple. What’s hard is remembering them on cue. Odd Couple is 97% there. View from the Bridge maybe 40%. One of my big ahas from this first acting class is to start learning lines earlier and put more time in run throughs with my acting partner. After 50 years it makes sense that I’d have a few things to learn. Oooh, boy.

I’ve got Macbeth down. 100%. I’m the announcer. I say at the beginning, “The Tragedy of Macbeth, by William Shakespeare. Act One.” Then I go out four more times announcing act two, so on. That’s it.

This is a much shortened version of Macbeth. The script is two pages long. To give you the flavor, the final lines are: Alan as a soldier: Stab, Stab, Stab. Macbeth: Ow, Ow, Ow. Macbeth dies.

I’m excited for the showcase, but still have a bunch of work to do. Starting with the computer work today. Alan and I are going to run our scene again. I go to Hamish’s on Sunday to work on View from a Bridge.

Turns out acting lessons require real work.

 

*”The Daodejing speaks of the valley spirit, of the importance of the female character, and of Tao as the mother. That doesn’t negate the opposite: pure yang. It is also a concept in Tao.

Today is a time of great yang. The daylight is longest.
As we contemplate that, we can see that it took a year to get here, it lasts a day, and the time will move toward darkness and yin.

Therefore, as much as we might want to celebrate pure yang, it is a brief state. The rest of the time, everything is far more mixed.” Deng Ming Dao, a facebook post