Category Archives: Family

Family, Fourth Phase, Friends, Travel

Today

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Adrian leaves the U.S. on Friday, headed for Holland, his brother’s place in the heart of Amsterdam. Tara and Julia (their middle child) will join him briefly before heading out on a week and a half long trip together.

The night after he arrives Adrian and his brother will board his brother’s canal boat and head to a spot close to a floating barge with classical musicians who present, this one night a year, a program involving musicians from various orchestras and ensembles. A lottery allots spaces near the barge. “And,” Adrian said, “Every year my brother wins a spot.”

After Holland, Adrian flies to Costa Rica where Tara will join him a few days later. They have reservations at six air bnb’s over the course of a year. This allows them to sample various locations before choosing a place to settle down. Quite the adventure.

After they leave, Mary stays till August 30th when she flies to Singapore where she will meet Guru for one last stay in a favorite hotel-like building, the Raffles Town Club. She put Kate and me up there in 2016. Nicest rooms I’ve ever had.

I feel good. I’m getting things done. Working out. Not sure where cancer is right now. In a couple of weeks. Eating well. Reading a lot.

Meeting with financial folks on Wednesday. A focus will be on my move to Elk Run. Robin comes tomorrow to tell me about how my stuff will fit into the apartment. Excited about about both sessions.

Ruth and David came up. A good, long conversation about college, David’s job hunt.

 

 

 

Family, Fourth Phase, Shadow Mountain

Curating a Life

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Mary goes up to the loft, sits on the deck, and watches the sun rise most mornings. A ritual. Glad she discovered it. She also likes to look at the mountains.

She’s also raving about the book, Kingmaker. About Pamela Harriman who played a prominent role in both British and American politics including pushing Bill Clinton into the presidency. Buddy Mark Odegard also found it a fascinating read.

Things are moving regarding Elk Run. Realized I need to check the wi fi and cable. May need to see if I can install my Starlink over there.

On Tuesday Robin comes and we’ll start deciding what I can take to Elk Run. Not much compared to what’s still in the house. A couple of chairs, my Arts and Crafts stained glass lamps, a fancy coffee table. TV. CD player. Some CD’s. A highly curated selection of books. Some art. Pared down clothes. Maybe my new desk top if there’s room.

I’ll have to buy a new bed since our king sized one would take up way too much space. Probably a full-size to give Shadow room. Maybe a new night stand. That’s about it. A certain amount of furniture, books, art will go into storage. The rest Robin will have to find new homes for. Or, dispose of it.

I’m excited about the paring down process. What matters most comes along, the rest leaves my life for good–with the exception of the things in storage.

Family, Fourth Phase, Friends, Health, Shadow Mountain, Weather +Climate

Back At It

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A cool morning on the mountain. Another Colorado blue sky and sun day ahead. Lughnasa and Mabon, the harvest period of the Great Wheel, make 16 weeks of often Goldilock’s weather. Not too hot, not too cool. Some precipitation, but not too much.

That is. This period used to be like that. Still can be, of course, but more and more what would have been mid-Summer heat intrudes. As does smoke from the burning boreal forests of Ontario. We’ve missed the mark. By a lot.

Been having a fun haiku experience with Joanne Greenberg. She suggested a haiku conversation. She writes one and sends it to me. I have to use the sense of the last line in mine. Back and forth.

My profound weakness continues to surprise me. Getting up from the bed is a challenge, even when using both arms for leverage. Same with my chair. It’s easy for me to overdo. Crossing the room to get a book, or let Shadow outside, can make me glad to sit down.

In spite of that I feel good. Engaged. Called a realtor yesterday. Lined up Robin of SpaceWranglers to oversee the process of clearing out the house. She helped me when I thought about a move to Hawai’i. Trustworthy.

I’m going to try to pull all this off in 60 days. Yesterday I put a 60 day hold on the one-bedroom at Elk Run. If I can’t get the house cleared and sold in that time; or, if we run into snags on the Long Term Care policy, I’ll probably have to stay here for the foreseeable future. Not a terrible prospect.

Got back in the saddle. Making those arrangements, paying some bills, getting my dues for CBE. Felt good to flex those muscles.

Mary will be here through August. Joe and Seoah plan to come in September. Hopefully I’ll be on my way to Elk Run by the end of that month.

 

 

Family, Fourth Phase, Health

End of Summer

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Almost to Lughnasa, the festival of first fruits. Loaves of bread made from the early wheat harvest. This is the time it begins  to feel like fall is not faraway though summer lingers in warm days and cooler, longer nights.

It’s also the time when Colorado schools start up again. Ruth starts classes on the twentieth. Gabe moves into the dorm at Regis around the same time.

Lughnasa is a time of preparation, getting ready for the main harvest in September, getting ready for a new year of learning. A transition between the growing season and the fruits of it gathered in.

On my part this year I’m looking at a move to assisted living, putting a finish to a long run of living in my own home(s). First house in Appleton, Wisconsin. Then Minneapolis, St. Paul (3), Andover, Conifer, Colorado. Happy to leave home ownership behind. Let somebody else have their chance.

Still adjusting to life at home with a walker, mobility limitations, significant weakness. Neither easy nor fun. Had a minor fall last night. Not a big deal. But. My legs weren’t strong enough to stand me up. Had to leverage myself onto the bed. High degree of difficulty.

Good to be home though. Shadow, my books, chair, TV. The comfort of the familiar.

Joe’s in the air on his way home to Korea. Mary’s planning to stay through late August. We’re investigating a person to come in the morning, at noon, and around bed time. Would be very helpful after Mary leaves.

I tire easily, don’t have much oomph in general. Exercise and good food. That will change.

 

 

Family, Fourth Phase, Shadow Mountain, Weather +Climate

A Full Clan Gathering

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The monsoons have come in full force, afternoon rain, the occasional thunderstorm. The mountains are green, Lodgepole needles, Aspen leaves, grasses and shrubs. Makes my heart glad.

A day, my first full day home, filled with people. Conversations throughout. My social battery hit empty in mid-afternoon, then went into over-depleted. Even so. Delighted to see Mark again. He’s leaving soon, possibly to D.C. or NYC before heading back to the sands of Araby.

With Mark, Mary, Joseph, and myself here we had the first gathering of the whole clan since Andover in 2011. Mary in Melbourne, Mark in Hafar, Joseph in Korea, and me on Shadow Mountain.  It’s not hard to understand why.

Joseph goes home tomorrow early. He’ll take a hotel room near the airport tonight. Without him and Mary the last month would have been problematic.

He’s got the insurance claim (long term care policy) underway, had my oxygen concentrators repaired, and collaborated with Mary on cleaning the downstairs.

His presence meant a lot to me. I needed him and he came, bringing his Lt. Col. skills and applying them to a fast changing and complex situation. My son, here and helping, helped me feel whole.

Mary had the foresight to recognize I was struggling and showed up willing to help. A selfless and kind thing to do.

Lucky to have both of them.

 

Family, Health, Shadow Mountain

Change of Venue

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When I went to bed last night, in my own bed, Shadow followed, jumped up and snuggled in next to me. It had been almost a month. I gathered her up in my right arm and hugged her. Good to be home.

Easier to sleep. Not going to the bathroom but using a urinal makes night time safer. Other modifications include a walker, less movement, a person listening while I shower. Unclear whether these will be permanent.

Joe contacted Allianz, carrier for my Long Term Policy, and initiated a claim. When I’m able to use this policy, a lot of financial matters will resolve. It would, for example, pay the cost of assisted living. A big help. Otherwise assisted living costs could make my margin each month thin.

Mark came up today. Tara and Ruth, too. Arjan came later. Melissa’s back, too. A full house with Mary and Joseph.

Assisted living is in my future. Might be a month or so, maybe later. A less fraught, more relaxed way of life. Shadow and I chillin’.

 

Family, Fourth Phase, Health, Politics, Shadow Mountain, Weather +Climate

Heat

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Final entry from my bed in room 103. Back into the stream of daily life without periodic checking of my vital signs, room service meals, and therapy with Margaret, Jenny, and Britinni. Though I’ve had a good experience I’m ready to leave rehab.

Still boggles my mind that I was at home on June 30th, then in the E.R. on July 1. In this hospital bed or that one until today, twenty seven days later. Must have been serious.

Joe and Mary worked hard over the weekend getting things ready for me. I’m excited to see what they’ve done.

We’re making a to go order from the Lazy Butcher for a homecoming meal. Barbecue, burgers, lots of Southern side dishes. Conveniently close to my doctors where I have to go for a bone strengthening shot after I leave here.

Joe has also arranged a tour of Elk Run assisted living at 3 pm. It will be my first time there. Elk Run is not far from the Life Care Center and is behind the synagogue. Their location in a place I know well matters to me.

 

Elsewhere the world is on fire. Wildfires make regular front page news. Trump gets mad at Canadian smoke and slaps on tariffs just because he can. Spain and France have major fires approaching Madrid and Bordeaux. Heat. Hotter.

Dopy Donald can’t find a path out of the Chinese finger puzzle he’s created for himself in Iran. I hope he finds something because this war is a plague on all of our houses.

 

Family, Fourth Phase, Health

Teshuva

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Another quiet weekend at Life Care rehab. The busyness of therapy  vanishes. The hallways have fewer staff. Relaxed.

That means more alone time. Time to contemplate what brought us here, where we’re headed after this gap between the hospital and home. Or, somewhere else.

I could not have navigated these last few weeks without Mary and Joseph. They’ve kept the homefires burning. Taken care of Shadow. Readied the house for my return. Sought options and resources. Visited. Mostly been present when I needed hem.

My time here is almost done. Insurance says move on Monday, not Tuesday. Yes, sir. I have gained a lot here, tips on activities of daily living, how to strengthen myself, confidence in my physicality. Too, I’ve had what Kate would call the tincture of time. Time to recover from the brutal, disorienting moments that kept me alive. I needed that time to clear my head, return to myself. Teshuva.

 

Family, Fourth Phase, Health, Shadow Mountain

Getting Buff

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Yesterday  I put pills in organizers as a test of my ability to manage my own meds. I passed.

Next I stood on plastic foam, spelling words with letters posted at random on the wall in front of me. Having to reach up and down to tap the letters tested my ability to balance. The plastic foam added to the difficulty. Hard.

Later I did squats, abductors, calf raises, leg extensions while standing. Wore me out.

O.T. and P. T. I feel good about my progress. We’ll see how it works at home.

Joe has several projects going. Checking on long term care insurance. Looking at assisted living places. Co-ordinating with Mt. Evans home health care. Finding out when I can restart my drug trial. Investigating a check engine light on Ruby.

Mary continues her clean up, spiff up work. She’s done so much. She came voluntarily and has stayed, steady, dogged. Familia.

 

 

 

 

 

Family, Fourth Phase, Health, Mountains, Shadow Mountain

In Evergreen

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Located at Life Care Center Evergreen I’m only a short walk from Congregation Beth Evergreen. Elk often fill the driveway, mountains on the horizon outside my room. I love being in the mountains, near home, while I work rebuilding my strength.

Occupational therapy. Activities of daily living. Increasing standing stamina. Moving plastic cones from one spot to another. Using a hand crank machine to rebuild arm muscles. Learning ways to work around a stiff leg.

Physical therapy. Walking with the walker. Feel strong. More standing stamina. Using a device that makes me rotate left, then right.

Speech therapy. Cognition. Difficult word finds. How to make sure my voice can be heard.

In theory I’m eager to do each one because it moves me closer to home. In fact, due to fatigue I often find myself wanting to pass. Fatigue=low T, head drop strain on back, the cellular level hit my body took from the pneumonia. I tire quickly, find the work onerous instead of challenging.

Mary and Joseph (oh, Mary and Joseph. Ha.) have been so wonderful. Working on matters related to home coming. Cleaning. Finding things I need. Visiting. Being the buffer between home and my absence. So necessary right now.

Still unsure how this will all workout. A significant part of me wants a simpler, less demanding life. I feel that in my bones. Another significant part of me loves Shadow Mountain, my home. The memories.