Yearly Archives: 2023

Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Health

Last on this for awhile

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Imbolc and the Valentine Moon

Saturday gratefuls: My son. Luke. Sadness. Emet. That guy directing traffic for the old man. Me. Eggplant Parmesan. Leo. A very sweet dog. Those contractors working on Luke’s street. Kind. Driving in Lakewood. A long Latino dominated part of east Lakewood and west Denver. Carnicerias. Mexican restaurants. Signs in Spanish. Lots of pickups. Mental health. New directions. Open heart.

Signs of Joy and Awe: Emet

 

The days of sadness. Hunting for emet, the truth, the meta-truth. About cancer. Turns out it’s about surfacing my needs, long blunted as I said on Thursday. In one sense I’ve skated through the last eight years. Why? Well, thought the cancer was gone for two of them. It wasn’t. But by the time I began radiation therapy for the first recurrence Kate had begun to decline. The radiation failed, but I would only learn that nine months later after the last of the Lupron left my body. By that time Kate’s needs dominated our lives.

After her death, two weeks. The second recurrence. Deep in grief. Having to begin drugs. Orgoyx and Erleada. Androgen deprivation therapy. Side effects. Hot flashes. But good results. Numbly following Kristie’s lead. Which was good. Piling on, but I barely noticed. Death. Cancer recurrence. What else? Hit me with your best shot.

And of course, during a lot of these last years, Covid. Then, Jon’s death, Ruth’s troubles. It’s been a rough patch.

The truth about this cancer is its longevity. That is, the treatment regimens, even those that come after the gold standards fail, are excellent as far other cancers go. I’ve been kept alive to experience these twists and turns in my family’s life. All the while with cancer as an underlayment. Won’t go away, won’t get cured, won’t kill me. Yet. Can’t ignore it with every three month labs and visits to the oncologist.

Sad about it. Yes. And about Kate’s illness and death. About Jon’s divorce, struggles, and death. About Ruth’s mental health. About the death of Rigel. Maybe it’s deep sadness about all these things. Not only the cancer.

The cancer is mine. The rest. Loved ones dying, grandchildren in pain. Close in. As close as the spot on the bed next to me. Guess sadness makes sense.

Yesterday I called my son. Told him I was sad. Needed to talk to him about it. He reassured me. You’re a survivor. You’re stubborn. If it comes to it, we’ll take you in gladly. We love you a lot. And I know they do. They mean what they say. A wonderful cushion. This sadness might have turned toward depression if not for them and their support.

And the support of others. The Ancient Brothers. My two mussar groups. Friends like Luke, Tom, Alan. Family like Diane. You all hold me up, keep me from sinking. This water is deep and often black, but I can swim when I know I have lifeguards at the ready.

This is a time of opening my heart. Glad you’re there.

Mountains, Science, Shadow Mountain, The West

Colorado Plateau. Rotates!

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Imbolc and the Valentine Moon

Friday gratefuls: Kristie. Kep. Sunseen. On the Lodgepoles. Through the Lodgepoles. Fresh Snow. Cold temps. A search for emet. Cancer. Diane. Her political astuteness. Our long connection. Family. Biden. Ukraine. The Democratic compromise. State of the Union, steadier. Luke. Rabbi Jamie. Tara. Our Land, this Land. The Rockies. Mind blown. The Deep. Love everlasting.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Science

 

The Laramide orogeny. Mountain building seventy-five million years ago. A tectonic plate crashing into another right at a line followed by Hwy. 470 here in the Denver metro. The Plains crunched up at the Front Range. What I’ve read and believed since moving to Colorado. Those Hogbacks the remains of an ancient Mountain Range, the Laramides.

Turns out. No. Not the case. The Colorado Rockies are around ten million years old! Wait. There’s more! The whole Colorado Plateau rotates clockwise! The Colorado Rockies still being pushed up higher! That’s right. The Rockies are a young Mountain Range created by a dynamic I’ve not fully grasped.

I understand this much. The orogeny (Mountain building) pressure comes not from the east as in the old Laramide theory, but from the west. And that pressure, exerted by the same Faults that create Earthquakes in California, are dynamic, still at work. There may be some Vulcanology implicated too.

As you can tell by the exclamation marks, I’m excited about this! Taking a new class on Colorado Glaciations. Glaciation is why the Rockies look so rugged. Also, according to Vince Matthews, another former director of the Colorado Geological Survey who’s teaching this course, none of the current Glaciers in Colorado are over 400 years old. Stopping with the exclamation marks. That’ed get silly.

Not sure how to reconcile Vince Matthew’s comments about the Rockies being ten million years old and what you’ll see below, but it’s evident that this is work no one understands very well. Even geologists.

Supposed to get a link to a video that shows how this works. I’ll post it when it arrives. The whole Colorado Plateau. Rotating. Wow. Here’s a bullet point list about what one author believes:

▪ The Colorado Plateau’s iconic landscapes were shaped during its 70-million-year, still-enigmatic, tectonic evolution characterized by uplift and erosion.
▪ Uplift of the Colorado Plateau from sea level took place in three episodes, the youngest of which has been ongoing for the past 20 million years.
▪ Tectonism across the Colorado Plateau’s nearest plate margin (the base of the plate!) is driving uplift and volcanism and enhancing its rugged landscapes.
▪ The bowl-shaped Colorado Plateau province is defined by ongoing uplift and an inboard sweep of magmatism around its margins.
▪ The keel of the Colorado Plateau is being thinned as the North American plate moves southwest through the underlying asthenosphere.
Family, GeekWorld, Jefferson County, Travel

Selling the Jeep

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Imbolc and the Valentine Moon

Wednesday gratefuls: Kep the nosy one. His good mornings. Mine, too. Tom. That one Star through the Lodgepoles last night. The Aspen shining in the Moonlight. Feelings. Cancer. Gratitude itself. Surviving eight years. The time of our lives. Ichi-e ichi-go. This one wild and precious life. MVP tonight. Rich. Alan. Moving in a bit more than a week. Cold. Atmospheric Rivers. The North Fork of the South Platte. Bailey. The Smiling Pig. Happy Camper.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: That one Star shining through the Lodgepoles

 

On Monday I put in a 100 minutes of cardio. Finished that, put on my hat and coat, went to the garage. Moved the snowblower and the garbage can out of the way. Time for the Jeep to go to Carmax.

Stopped for a Quizno’s sub on the way. Not impressed. First and last time. Got to Carmax and handed over the voluminous paper work they gave me the last time I was there. All signed. Quite the operation. A huge parking lot filled with used cars nice and shiny. A spacious room where would be buyers meet salespeople at kiosks scattered around the floor. All in a blue and yellow and birch wood decor that continues in the blue employee uniform tops.

The operation where I took the Jeep had a bit more used look to it. The seating though modern showed wear. At a reception like desk sat the young woman I’d encountered before. I handed her everything. Has it been more than 7 days since your online quote? Yes. She handed everything back to me. You can give this to me after the appraisal if you want to go through with it then.

A polite Asian man collected the Jeep keys, explaining that the process would take about 35 to 45 minutes. After that? Oh, only about 15 minutes. OK. While the appraisal was begun I called for my very first Uber ride. Well. Not called. Used the online app. They could have somebody there by 3:40. Fine. $56. I was a ways from home far up on Broadway in Littleton, almost to Englewood.

The appraisal came back a little lower than the earlier one but not much. The process seemed fair and it was quick. Only 15 minutes. I took the appraisal and the paperwork back up, handed it in. In a bit I had a check in hand. Easy peasy. Sort of a pawn shop experience only with cars.

The Uber driver came early and I got in his silver Murano. We talked all the way. He drove me past the place where he bought all of his barbecue gear. Proud Souls Barbecue & Provisions. “We don’t just sell barbecue, we live it.” The driver, Tom, grinds his own meat for sausage, cures his own bacon. Has a setup for everything barbecue. Smokes meats of all kinds.

He’s been driving for Uber for several years. His only gig. He likes the freedom and the flexibility. Drives 8 to 10 hours a day. Starts with trying to hit surge pricing rides around 6:30 am. Uber cut all the drivers portion of the fair by 20% last Thanksgiving. Thanks for that, eh? No explanation. Even with that, he still enjoys the work. Before this he was a dog walker. In better shape then he said.

Glad to get home without the hassle of driving myself. Almost worth $56. Thanks, Sarah and Annie.

Health

Cuffed

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Imbolc and the Valentine Moon

Thursday gratefuls: Vascular Institute. Dr. Mubarak. All those blood pressure cuffs. Florida Avenue. Found it! Steak and Shake. Driving down the hill and back up again. My arteries and veins. Nichie. Helping me. Help. Tom and his careful reading. The Morning Sun. The Lodgepoles clear of Snow. Waiting. Kep. Grooming today. Busy days. Low T. A blue Colorado Sky with puffy white Cumulus.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Good blood vessels

 

I know I’ve done a lot of medical stuff but this one is interesting. Promise. So. Take off your pants and put on these shorts. Ooh, silky. Nice. Lie down and I’ll be back in. The pregnant nurse. I took off my shoes and socks, pants as requested.  Put on the shorts.

When she came back in, the nurse put blood pressure cuffs on both arms. Both thighs. Both calves. Both feet. And on my big toes. More cuffs than a major takedown of a criminal organization. She then snaked lines to each cuff. And one by one, or rather two by two, she took my blood pressure from my arms to my toes. Having your blood pressure taken on your big toe? Weird.

I sat for a while in an interior waiting room. A nurse finally came and got me to go see Dr. Mubarak. He came in the exam room and leaned against the wall. I have no idea why your feet were cold. Sometimes I have to put mine on my wife. My arteries and veins in my extremities are not impeded. At all.

Dr. Mubarak was in the room for 2 minutes. I left. Happy with a good report.  Back up the hill.

 

Distracted a bit this last couple of weeks. Missed a dental appointment as I said. Showed up late for my appointment with Kristie. Had difficult finding Florida Avenue yesterday. I know, use GPS. I don’t like to. But in the instance of unfamiliar locations in the future, I plan to. Also. Read my calendar more carefully. Doesn’t seem like a big deal but this cluster doesn’t feel good either. Nothing else. Otherwise on the ball. What does that even mean? On the ball.

My best guess. The money issues with cancer drugs and the question of how to handle the metastases. Plus my annual physical and med changes, new appointments. As I wrote the other day, I felt overwhelmed. This is a point where life without a partner really sucks. No one to do an oh that’s not a big deal check in with. Kate was great at that. Observant and honest. Always.

Tom noted that I was in a much better place than a year ago. Birthday coming, but Rigel dying. Also not even a year after Kate’s death. Guess I can take his observation as a good sign.

 

After seeing Diane, I’m off to Bailey to Award Winning Pet Grooming. Keeping Kep sleek. Then back home. Handling stuff.

 

 

Health, Poetry, Politics

More medical stuff. Skip if not interested.

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Imbolc and the Valentine Moon

Wednesday gratefuls: Shirley Septic. Kristie. Nichie. Monty. Pam. Good lab numbers. Mets. No, not those Mets. Metastases. Prolia. For strong bones. Weight loss. Colorado River Compact. Snowpack. Water. So necessary, so scarce here. The West. The Rocky Mountains. Laurentian Shield. The Huronian Supergroup. Cratons. Erleada. Orgovyx. Award Winning Pet Grooming. Vascular Institute. Ultra Sound.

Sparks of joy and awe: Urology Associates. Has my back.

 

Whoa. 82 minutes for my workout yesterday. And, I mean whoa. Wore me out. In a good way.

 

Over to Urology Associates in Littleton for my three month checkup. The Orgovyx/Erleada combination keeps me in the undetectable range. Still aiming for taking me off of them late summer, early fall. So they don’t lose efficacy for me.

That last point may tip the decision about radiating my two active metastases sites. I don’t want to go off the meds with active cancer sites. Going to see Dr. Eigner on the 20th of this month. Will decide then. Kristie suggested I get his input, too, before I made a final decision. She said it’s a tough call. It is. I wouldn’t hesitate if it didn’t involve my spine.

After my medical consult and my every six month shot of Prolia, I went to see Nichie. A Nurse navigator. Glad. Choppy financial waters. Her specialty. She handed me a bottle of Orgovyx and a month’s supply of Erleada. Samples. Then she took my information and started applying for other possible sources of aid. We’ll give you free samples until we find something. OK.

Not sure how this whole thing turned around, but right now I’m paying very little. I think it’s the case that nobody understands the damned system. We’re all flying blind. Why we need a nurse navigator, I guess. Oops, mixed metaphors.

By the time I got back from my appointment, after a brief stop at Tony’s, I’d been rode hard and put away wet. Got home when the phone rang. Nichie telling me she had my application underway. And a lot of other stuff I was too tired to take in, especially since I was also feeding Kep.

After Kep ate, I sat down and felt overwhelmed. Tired and having necessary, but complicated information coming at me. Knew it would all seem less complex after a good night’s sleep. It does.

Later today. Left leg arteries and veins. Keep those doctors gettin’ paid.

 

I’ll close with this by Langston Hughes. Found by buddy Tom:

Southern Mammy Sings

Last week they lynched a colored boy

They hung him to a tree.

That colored boy ain’t said a thing

But us all should be free.

Yes, m’am!

Us all should be free.

Not meanin’ to be sassy

And not meanin’ to be smart.

But sometimes I think that white folks

Just ain’t got no heart.

No, m’am!

Just ain’t got no heart.

Aging, Commentary on the news, Cooking, Family, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Great Work, Jefferson County, Judaism, Mountains, Plants, Politics, Shadow Mountain, US History

It was a lynching

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Winter and the Valentine Moon

Tuesday gratefuls: Hot Water. My shower. Marilyn and Irv. Ageism. Aspen Perk. Aspen Park Dental. Darlene, the hygienist. Seeing the Magpies against the Snow as I sat in the dental chair. Clean teeth. Good gum health. No work needed. Yes. Grocery pickup. Home. Brined center cut porkchops. Cooked in the Air fryer. Mixed vegetables. Tangerine. Mary’s photos of her last days in Kobe. Eau Claire. Air travel. Sarah and Annie. The Jeep.

Sparks of joy and awe: Friends and family

 

A note I sent to my county commissioner, Lesley Dahlkemper, about a proposed Mountain bike park on Shadow Mountain Drive:

Hi, Lesley!

Met you at Marilyn Saltzman’s 70th birthday party. Before you became a commissioner. Congratulations!

I live on Black Mtn Drive. Up the hill about 2 miles from the proposed mtn bike park. Aside from the obvious degradation of a mountain side and a beautiful, clear running stream and aside from the obvious traffic nightmare on already difficult to navigate blind curves and narrow no shoulders Shadow Mountain Drive, I’d like to tell you about a 7 AM drive I took that passed by the bike park area.

There in that meadow were thirty cow Elks and one magnificent bull, a fourteen pointer. A mist was rising from Shadow Brook. Now that may not be a logical argument against the bike park, but it’s damn sure a good one to me.

 

Tyre Nichols. Still think the role of police in our culture doesn’t need drastic and dramatic change? Tainted by the power given to them by a frightened white majority the police live out the violent fantasies of those at home watching TV. Their color does not matter. What matters is their intent, their willingness to step well beyond the bounds of decency. Remember Derek Chauvin’s knee? One of the officers who stood by was Hmong. The others who stood and watched? Rodney King?

Tom Crane found an interesting interview with Rev. Dante Stewart. His words on lynching are worth sharing:

“That was more than police brutality. That was a lynching. They wanted to kill him because, in some sense, lynching is about the spectacle. It’s about what someone with power does to another human being to ride and rid them of every ounce of their dignity and put it in the public to show this is what we think about this person.

“When those in the past put Black people up on noose, it was a message to them: This is our estimation of your life, and much more, this is our hatred of your life. And when Tyre Nichols was beaten and the just immense disregard to him, it showed us in public once again the estimation of Black life, white racism and white supremacy.”  WBUR

This sort of action by the police reimagines the whip of the plantation slave master. Sanctioned violence to keep the enslaved in place. We still fear the emboldened and empowered other. What might they do to us? What to do? Do it to them first.

 

On a better note, also from Tom. On Kernza Grain. “I just came across this perennial grain developed by the Land Institute. I also ordered some from a site which sells it as a cereal much like oatmeal. I’ll let you know how it is.”

The Land Institute is a solution finder. Glad Tom found this product, the first commercial fruits of the Institute’s work. I’ll let you know what he thinks.

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Acting, Art and Culture, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Great Wheel, Health, Reimagine. Reconstruct. Reenchant., Woolly Mammoths, Writing

A Festival of One Act Plays

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Winter and the Valentine Moon

Monday gratefuls: Alan. The Mislaid Wife. The Festival of One Act Plays. Evergreen Players. Tal. Deb. Lisa. The audience. Jill. The Ancient Brothers on space. Between us. Within us. Center cut pork chops. Brining. Marilyn and Irv. Breakfast today. Aspen Park Dental. Cleaning. Also today. Grocery pickup. How to Become a Pagan. Learning Korean. Mary’s last days in Japan. Brother Mark in Oke city. Frozen vegetables.

Sparks of joy and awe: Theater

 

A medical week. Oh, joy. Teeth cleaning today. Kristie tomorrow. And the Vascular Institute on Wednesday. That should be plenty of body parts for one week.

Gonna go through the active metastases site with Kristie, then lay it to rest one way or another. Treat or not treat. Get a Prolia injection today, too. For ma bones. This is a treatment because of my other treatments which weaken my bones. Geez. Want to move the Prolia injections to Evergreen Medical Center. Closer.

Not sure what to expect at the Vascular Institute. They’ll do an ultrasound of my left leg. Looking for a spot of restricted blood flow. If they find one, I’ll probably have a stent put in which will allow the blood to flow normally. Kate had a blocked superior mesenteric artery. Putting the stent in was not a big deal.

Next week my birthday present to myself is a pulmonology exam. Big fun. Specifically asking the question about continued living at 8,800 feet.

Nuff.

 

February is Black history month and I’ll say one last time that Imani Perry’s South to America is worth the read. It lagged a little near the very end, but up till then it was charming, sensitive, and challenging. Taught me many lessons. Would be interested to hear her on the Memphis situation.

 

The Festival of One Act plays. Alan directed The Mislaid Wife. Precis. A man calls the police to report his wife missing. She was funny, made me laugh. Lots of energy. And she was sexy. Conceit. His wife has not gone missing. She’s aged. And still in the house. Funny and sad.

A woman sat next to me. Older. Gray hair, a long flowing plaid dress. Gray vest. She seemed interesting. I wondered, as I occasionally do. Still no energy to pursue anything. We even chatted for a bit with Deb, the woman I took to my first acting class, after she finished her role as God. Maybe if I run into her again.

Joan Greenberg, member of CBE, and author of You Never Promised Me a Rose Garden wrote a country version of Orpheus and Eurydice. Highly stylized presentation. The best script of the batch by far.

Talked to Tal. He mentioned the acting class starting next week at the Synagogue. Jewish playwrights. Part of me would like to take it up, but I’ve told myself I’m focusing this semester on How to Become a Pagan. Though I’m not. At least not right now. Saying that out loud to him made me take a look at the way I’ve been doing my schedule. I really want to write this book. Not sure why I’m blocked on it. I have lots of research, years of thinking about the topic, and it matters to me. Maybe this was the jolt I needed?

 

Acting, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Health, Judaism, Korea, Mussar, Travel, Woolly Mammoths

New Labs

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Winter and the Valentine Moon

Sunday gratefuls: The Ancient Brothers. Alan. Housing matters cleared up. Mostly. Ron. Luke. Bread Lounge. Evergreen. The ice fisherfolk on Lake Evergreen. The 8 outdoor ice hockey rinks on it. Those 30 or so Elk hanging out. The drive down. Rocks. Mountains. Ice covered Streams. Lodgepole Pines. Ponderosa. Aspen. Chinook Salmon toast and that Dulce le Lecha croissant. Coffee.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Jew with Guns

 

Going to Evergreen Players today to see one-act plays directed by Tal’s last directing class as an employee of Evergreen Players. Alan has one in the showcase. Ron Solomon’s coming, too. Looking forward to that. A matinee. That magic word in my world of the performing arts.

Ron sat down with Alan and me at the Bread Lounge yesterday morning. He’s a screenwriter cum entrepreneur. He was part of the writer’s room for Saved By the Bell, but he didn’t like L.A. He wrote a book about Navy Seals published three or four years ago. Now he’s running a company that helps wholesalers make sure their retail prices hold up in the marketplace.

Ron’s also in the MVP group. He’s a very smart guy. Been around CBE for  years. He mentioned that later in the day he and Dan Herman, past president of the Synagogue, had an appointment at a gun range in Golden with a group called Jews with Guns. I’m not getting on a train. The Synagogue shooting in Pittsburgh pushed him over the edge.

I told them that if it came to it I’d get a rifle and help them defend the Synagogue. Friends are worth dying for. Family, too. A silly misadventure in Vietnam dreamed up by anti-communist old white men? Not so much. I’m no pacifist. Though Kate was. Thorough going. Miss her.

Alan’s house is sold. He was going home to pack after breakfast. They close on both deals next week. Move in February. Glad for him. Moving stresses. Not easy.

 

Glad I dropped back to learn Hangul. Still working at it, but when I get done learning Korean will be easier. Hope to get over there for a month next October. Though. CBE’s got an Israel trip planned at the same time. Always wanted to see Israel. This could be a good opportunity. Will clarify as we get closer.

 

The what will I pay for my cancer drugs circus still has its tent up. No word yet on the foundation the nice lady from McKesson told me about. I’ll have to pick up some more Erleada samples if I don’t get a call before Tuesday afternoon when I see Kristie.

Good news though. PSA still undetectable. Lab results came early this morning. Testosterone at 11. Low testosterone is 287 at which point fatigue becomes a factor. Alan’s getting his testosterone boosted for that reason. As for me. Well, I tire easily. But. My cancer doesn’t get its food. That’s the concept.

 

Ancient Brothers topic this morning is space. The space between and among us. Is it too far? Too close? Mussar has a lot to say about this.

 

 

Colorado, Commentary on the news, Mountains, Politics, Weather +Climate

Mountain Lion and other stuff

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Winter and the Valentine Moon

Thursday gratefuls: Origins of North America. Canada. Oh, Canada. Mid-Continent Rift. Keweenaw Peninsula. The U.P. Porcupine Mountains. Copper mined by indigenous folk. Isle Royale. The Upper Midwest. My home turf. Rocky Mountains. My home. Sun through the Lodgepoles. Snow hanging around. Solar Snow shovel failing us right now. More cold to come.

Sparks of joy and awe: Cold

 

Cold air feels pure to me. As if all the sneeze causing stuff has been cleared away. As if its source were a temple mountain to the Goddess of all things clear and refined. Compare it to the muggy, insect and dust laden heat of a Midwestern summer. Cold air brings sleep. Hot air robs sleep. Part of my ongoing love affair with living at altitude, in Minnesota. Traveling in Canada.

Kate and I both loved the cold. Were happiest in the winter months. Except for the chance to garden that only heat and Sun brings. Oh those gardening days. Halcyon. At least in memory. No wonder Elysian fields, Paradise (a walled garden). Where we humans and the Earth are openly, even gleefully in symbiosis. No wonder farmers don’t want to quit.

 

Learning about synclines and anticlines, Cratons, native Copper, room and pillar mining, truck thumpers that produce seismic waves for investigation of the geological. The sheer joy of a person who loves his subject matter. What fun. Also, I don’t have to do anything except listen. Look. Think. What I needed at this point.

 

You’ve probably noticed I’ve stopped posting photographs and images. Took too much extra time and exposed me to the occasional wrong footing of using an image under copyright. Having said that I’m going to post this picture anyhow:

 

The hunter in this picture is a former Bronco’s defensive linesman. (a big guy in other words) This Mountain Lion got tagged by Colorado Wildlife officials for killing dogs. Lots and lots of commentary on this. Mostly negative. But. It was a legal hunt done under state auspices. Last week.

Not around Shadow Mountain but not far from here either. I wanted you to see the size of this animal. Not something to be trifled with. A wild neighbor, probably weakened in some way by injury or disease so focused on easy to catch prey.

 

Can you see the debt ceiling from where you are? It’s pretty high up. The economics of nation states is a mystery to me. I know it’s not at all the same as your budget or mine, an error made by conservatives quite often. For one thing nation states can print money. I can’t. On the other hand like Everett Dirksen famously said, I’m paraphrasing here: A trillion here, a trillion there, and pretty soon you’re talking about real money.

Current national debt is somewhere north of thirty-two trillion dollars. Here’s a site that explains it.

Gosh that’s a lot. Eh?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cooking, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Health, Hermitage, Politics, Shadow Mountain

A bit of an organ recital. Another gun rant.

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Winter and the Valentine Moon

Tuesday gratefuls: Robin and Michelle. Space Wranglers. Coming today. Kep, the sleeper. Award Winning Pet Grooming. His next big adventure. Cool temps. 8. The Rockies in Winter. Alan and his moving angst. Computers. Zoom. Smart phones. Cancer meds. Imani Perry. A good nights sleep. Mark. Mary. Diane. Tom. Ancient Brothers. Vince. Furball Housekeeping. Ana.

Sparks of joy and awe: Clean house. Thanks, Ana and friend. Makes my daily life better. This time they loaded the dishwasher and ran it, too. Feels good to have a clean house.

 

While they work, I worked out. Getting in 70 minutes of quality time with my old friend the treadmill. For some reason I’ve been resisting resistance work. (see what I did there?) Know I need it. Or sarcopenia will keep getting worse. Just. Not. Doing. It. Right now.

Might need an Ode solution. Go to some faraway Beach and walk in the Sand and the Sun.

 

Used my air dryer for the first time last night. It cooked my tator tots while I fried my Alaskan Rock Fish on the stove and cooked peas in the microwave. Using all my electrical appliances in a coordinated fashion. A kitchen symphony. Most excellent.

Been doing my own cooking almost exclusively over the last couple of weeks. Liking it. Lost some weight in the process. As my doc thinks is important for me to do. Four, five pounds.

 

On paying for my cancer meds. OMG. So I asked about the billing of my orgovyx at $135 instead of $896. The McKesson finance department in response sent me every bill they’ve ever made with my name on it. Thankfully online. With the last one which reads $135. WTF. And on the Erleada. Would I like to have help with my copay? Sure, but if it’s the manufacturer’s plan I don’t qualify for it. Oh, no. This is a foundation. Not the Assistance Fund? No, something different. Well, hell yeah. We’ll see if I qualify.

But, in the interim. No Erleada. Fortunately I have some free samples and a bit more from my last delivery. Otherwise. This helping would be creating over a two week lag in my meds. Sigh. Still, better to have folks trying. As long I have some meds. I mean, they are for my cancer after all.

Between this and the moving target that is my thyroid stimulating hormone, some changes to my blood pressure meds and statins. Getting complex. Along with upcoming appointments to a vascular surgeon and a new pulmonologist. Dentist. And I feel fine. Except for this damned fatigue. Worst in the afternoons.

Thus endeth the organ recital.

 

7 more in California. Half Moon Bay.

“In the first few weeks of 2023, at least 69 people have been killed in mass shootings across the country, including two shootings within days of each other in California.” ‘Tragedy Upon Tragedy’: January Brings Dozens of Mass Shootings So Far

And the folks who sponsored this epidemic of gun ownership and their violent use on other humans want to take over the government.

My heart does not like this. How much sadness can we stand until we do something effective?