All posts by Charles

Ancient Brothers, Far Right, Men, Politics, US History

The Lost Boys

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Jamie. Ty. Irv. Jim. Seth. Bruce. Joe. Matt. Lawyer guy. Will. Bill. Irv’s first time leading group. Evergreen High School. Its students. Seth’s daughters. Rain. 40 degree morning. A Mountain Fall begins. The Aspen’s, like Smaug, guarding still their gold. My son. His journey. A life led by principle. The Ancient Brothers on mystery.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Men, together

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Derech Eretz.  literally, the way of the land.

  • Natural law. In some interpretations, it represents a natural, moral order that exists independent of formal Torah law. This is reflected in the saying, “Derech Eretz preceded the Torah,” and speaks to the innate decency that human beings should possess

Tarot:  #2 The High Priestess Druid Craft

  • Patience and waiting: The High Priestess advises against taking immediate action. She represents a time of quiet gestation and reflection, encouraging you to wait for more clarity to emerge.
  • Spirituality and the subconscious: The card points toward a deeper connection with your spiritual side, meditation, and exploring the mysteries of your psyche. 
One brief shining: We sat in the sanctuary shofars evidence signaling the coming of Rosh Hashanah while we conversed quietly, a minyan; one of us, visibly shaken, spoke of picking up his daughter from Evergreen High School that day before the shooting started, she was not feeling well, and I recalled Gabe’s succinct thought: Today is a strange day.

 

Aftermath: We men discussed how to be seen, how to know one another, how to be known. Wondered if the world hungered for human connection and dared take the risk, what it would be like.

We didn’t discuss it yesterday, but we could have. Think school shooter. What comes to mind? Yes, a boy, a sad angry dismissed unhappy no right place in his high school world boy. Boiler Medic Ken and I discussed this. Ken said yeah when he was in high school you took it out back and settled things. Except. These boys would not have been the ones, Ken.
 
What responsibility do we adult men have to the shattered psyche’s of boys who would be, not men, but seen, heard, appreciated, and failing that go the way of the too, too easy to obtain gun? Surely something. But how to engage, how to be there?
 
I raised a boy. Just one. I know he needed love, boundaries, respect. My guess, but not much of a guess, is that these boys need those things, too. From someone who matters.
 
Two of our number yesterday, one long retired, one just beginning work(ed) with young boys, ones whose lives experienced the disruption of mental illness. There are those among us who walk that road. Perhaps they could guide us.
 

Just a moment: Meanwhile, one who should guide us, call us together, calls instead for revenge. Vengeance is mine saith the Donald. In poor imitation. I believe Donald is one of those boys. Still. An insecure, frightened, internally beleaguered man-child, still up against the school yard fence promising reprisals.

Politics, US History

Judge on the side of merit

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Shabbat gratefuls: Shadow, morning Dog. Alan, coming to Aspen Perks. Irv, leading the CBE men’s group today. CBE legacy fund dinner. Slichot. Elul. Cheshbon Nefesh. The Days of Awe. Rosh Hashanah. Yom Kippur. A cool morning. Charlie Kirk. Desmond Holly. Guns. Gun control. Australia’s protests. Mark in Hafar. Fatima.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Slichot prayers

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Derech Eretz  literally, the way of the land.

  • Natural law. In some interpretations, it represents a natural, moral order that exists independent of formal Torah law. This is reflected in the saying, “Derech Eretz preceded the Torah,” and speaks to the innate decency that human beings should possess. 

Tarot: Ten of Cups, (Druid Craft)

  • Emotional fulfillment: You have reached a state of profound happiness and contentment. This can be the culmination of a long emotional journey and a feeling of having a “happy ever after”.

One brief shining: Oh, the tendrils of hate growing up through the streets of peace and decency, bullets fired from sniper rifles, a presumption of moral rectitude, a bracing and easy identification of the other whether they be white supremacists or Jews or far right Christians or immigrants, a human tendency to run with a crowd already like us perverted into us against them instead of we for all, smashes my face up against human frailty and its real world, every day costs.

 

Just a moment: Here’s a paragraph from a Washington Post opinion piece that struck an especially deep place for me:

“There’s something to be said for respect. I want to put in a good word for forbearance in the public square — for holding off on payback if someone’s struggle for justice doesn’t accord with your own. I want to say as best I can that there are ways to confront people without resorting to bashing heads, pulling guns or attacking one another with mean words and malicious deeds.” Colbert King, Washington Post, 9/13/2025. Political Violence in America is an Endless Scroll.

While I know my own rhetoric here has not always conformed to the principle King underlines, I wish it had. I do love satire and the taste of fighting words when it comes to politics. Also, the actions they inspire. I hope my work on the New Apostolic Reformation and Hazony’s Conservatism Rediscovered will reflect what Rabbi Jamie calls appreciative inquiry.

And yet. I still embrace and hope I embody an attempt always to go to the root of injustice and social discord. To fight power that corrupts, oppresses, demeans, dismisses. Difficult positions to hold at the same time.

An initial approach might look like this: consider another, or a different political expression say, first from the attitude of appreciate inquiry. What strengths and skills does the other have? What positive message can be found in, say, Trump’s America First policies? This relates to the Jewish concept of judge others on the side of merit.

So, what, from a leftist perspective, does America First offer? It reminds me, and could remind others of my persuasion that justice and economic opportunity begins at home. Along with Hazony I would emphasize family as an important place to start political analysis. In fact, I would say that we, the left, lost sight of just this focus: the injustice and imbalance among poor families in this country. Including poor, working class white families.

When we entertain solutions, policies, social change that focus on those families, well, we move in different directions. I believe government has not only a role, but a responsibility to level the playing field. Charity and moral uplift do not have a broad enough reach. Yet we can agree, I think, that American families need our priority attention.

 

Far Right, Politics, Shadow Mountain

Boiler Medic

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Friday gratefuls: Wind. Artemis. Dog food. Dog treats. Ken. His story. Boiler Medic. Zone valves and pressure relieving tanks. Agency. Sinah. Ahavah. Negative and positive emotional attachment. Thursday mussar. Traveling Tom. All gun shot victims. All the parents of high school students in Evergreen.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Gun control

Year kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah:  Omet Lev. Strength of the heart. The inner strength to move forward.

Tarot: #2, The High Priestess reversed. (Druid Craft Deck)

  • Repressed feelings and hidden truths: The reversal indicates that something is being kept under wraps—either by you or by others. The truth is hidden behind a veil, and you are either in denial or unwilling to confront an underlying issue.  Gemini

One brief shining: Guns, their ease of use, their ability to turn the aggrieved into deadly actors, their easy acquisition, those who fetishize them, the video games and movies that valorize them, guns guns guns guns somehow remain behind a second amendment veil, obscuring the truth for so many.

 

Ken, the Boiler Medic: Ken has taken care of our boiler, hot water, and hot water heat since we moved in. He came yesterday because the hot water heat in Kate’s old sewing room, now my exercise room, did not come on. With winter up next I’ll need some level of heat in that room.

An Apache, Ken and two of his sons, have all served in the Marines. He has stories of a life I could never have lived. One son, a gunnery sergeant, is twenty and out in three months. He’s studying right now to be a game warden in California. Poignant for Ken since he told me long ago that he too wanted to be a game warden, but a DUI disqualified him.

He’s had many jobs. Smoke Jumper. Career ended when he landed on a Pinõn Tree just as it exploded in a fire, breaking his back. Grocery Store Manager. Career ended with hollowing out of Grand Junction when a coal fired generating plant closed and fifty thousand people left town overnight. General maintenance in a setting where he became captivated by the big boilers. A plumber, then a commercial boiler installer and repair guy. Now on his own with his company Boiler Medic.

His non-work pursuits are even more interesting. He raced motorcycles until an accident that again injured his back. His motorcycle, the motorcycle of the guy that hit him, and its rider landed on him. His last motorcycle race. Though his kids raced, his daughter winning national races as a teenager.

He races mountain bikes now. He goes bike camping, showing me a bike with panniers, and other clever storage spots. He takes his Blue Heeler along, riding in a bike trailer with one wheel.

He grew up hunting for meat to feed his family. This year he has a muzzle loading license, an Elk and Bear license, and a Moose license. The Moose license is by lottery and it’s very rare to get one. Though hunting is not my thing, I honor people who hunt and eat the meat. And, who use guns responsibly.

 

Family, Far Right, Jefferson County, Memories, Mussar, Politics, US History, White Supremacy

A Culture Dying of Lead Poisoning

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Thursday gratefuls: Teshuva. Accounting of the soul. Shadow on my pillow. Sleeping. 9/11. My son’s decision on account of it. Seoah. Murdoch. Jangs. Singapore. Time with Mary there and in Hawai’i. The anguish of our Middle East actions. Of Israel’s. The Evergreen Shooting. Columbine. Guns. Gun control. Our poor benighted nation. Charlie Kirk.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Tara’s hot tub garden bed

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev. Strength of the heart. A middah I wish for all parents and school children in Evergreen this day.

Tarot: Ten of Cups, (Druid Craft)

  • Domestic Harmony: Suggests a stable, secure, and happy home environment. This card often points to a desire for or achievement of an idyllic country life.
  • Gratitude and Blessings: A call to recognize and appreciate the blessings you have. The cups are a reminder of the rewards that come from love and connection. 

One brief shining: This Shadow Mountain home with its three levels, the guest level and the home office, the main level with Arts and Crafts furniture and lights, the fireplace, the breakfast nook built by Jon, a remodeled kitchen, a pantry, an exercise room, the downstairs level with its oriental rugs, comfy chairs, television, bedroom, and laundry room, Shadow’s food and toys, the fenced in backyard filled with Lodgepoles, Grasses, Groundcovers, Wild Flowers, and now Artemis, a place of memories with Kate, with Vega, Rigel, Gertie, Kepler, with guests over the years, its solar panels, its four car garage and library above, a front with no lawn, more Lodgepoles and Aspens, Kate’s Iris bed and her Lilacs in back has been my refuge, my hermitage, my home of eleven years come this Winter Solstice. Yes to the Ten of Cups.

Oh, my: Gabe and Ruth both sent texts. Gabe: “So today Charlie (Kirk) got shot and killed. And evergreen highschool got shot up. Today is strange.”  Ruth: “One of the things I don’t get is how you can be so set on defending a fetus and its life yet guns are more of a right than life is for students.”

Rabbi Jamie opened our sanctuary to any in town who might need it. Ironically he presented a program last night on teshuva. “While often translated as repentance, its deeper meaning is about taking action to return to one’s true, divine self…” Gemini The Jewish month of Elul, in which we are right now, encourages a time of reflection-of cheshbon nefesh, an accounting of the soul-with the aim of teshuva before Rosh Hashanah.

How can we as a nation, as a culture, return to, as one sage put it, the landscape of our soul? Not just the shooter(s) in the 47 school shootings to date this year (Ruth’s numbers), no, but our  culture dying from lead poisoning.

Where is the landscape in which I grew up? Flawed in many, many ways to be sure, but at least one in which gun owners hunted, did not demand their “second amendment rights” and the only duck and cover was to shield ourselves (ha) from a nuclear explosion.

Commentary on the news, Far Right, New Apostolic Reformation, Politics

Free Exercise

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Wednesday gratefuls: Shadow. Ginny and Janice. Annie and Luna. Tara and Eleanor. Gardening. Artemis. Her Carrots sprouting. Her Beets beginning to thicken. Her Cucumbers close to finished. And, all those Tomatoes! PSA. P.E.T. scan. Good care. Jane and the Mitzvah Committee. Paul and his hospice work. Mark and his care for his friends. Bill in his in the moment life. Tom and his caring. Ancient Brothers, good friends.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Darkness

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah:  Ometz Lev. The inner strength to move forward

Tarot:  #5, The High Priest (Druid Craft)  “The card represents a bridge between the physical and spiritual worlds and emphasizes the importance of following a spiritual tradition, leaning on collective wisdom, and seeking community.” Gemini

One brief shining: As my friendships at Congregation Beth Evergreen broaden and deepen, as the Torah becomes my story, as mussar shapes my character, as having a Rabbi provides a backstop to life’s difficult moments, I know the wisdom for me of “leaning on collective wisdom and seeking community.”

 

Just a moment: Back to Hazony and his Conservatism Rediscovered. When last we left this story we had finished discussing principles 1 and 2: Historical empiricism and Nationalism. Today we’ll investigate #3, Religion.*

Here is Hazony’s summary of #3:  “The state upholds and honors God and the Bible, the congregation and the family, and the religious practices common to the nation. These are essential to the national heritage and indispensable for justice and public morals. At the same time the state offers toleration to religious and social views that do not endanger the integrity and well-being of the nation as a whole.” p. 30-31, Conservatism Rediscovered, Yoram Hazony

I gave you the complete summary so you could see the glaring problems in it.  First and most dissonant with American history and tradition is the opening sentence. Our constitution provides for the free practice of religion and forbids the nation to take action favoring one religion over others. Here’s an excerpt from the Bill of Rights: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…”

In Hazony’s conservative fever dream of a “restored America” the state upholds God and the Bible. Hazony intentionally inflects his third principle with Christian language. This dovetails, can you see it, with the New Apostolic Reformation’s concept of making disciples of all nations.

Here these two ascendant political movements declare not only their willingness to abrogate freedom of religion, but to in fact establish a state religion. Which in turn abrogates the second part of the freedom of religion clause which ensures just that- the freedom to practice your religion. Full stop.

The last sentence in his summary, so necessary, since Hazony himself is an Orthodox Jew, tries to leave a bit of wiggle room. But its full intent reveals itself in these words: “the state (read The conservative Christian state) offers toleration to…views that do not endanger the integrity and well-being of the nation as a whole.”

This invites a political calculus into religious freedom that is, pardon the word, anathema to the first amendment. Muslims. Politically active black churches. Pagans. Hindus. Who knows what might be considered dangerous to the state?

No, this principle is not about religion. It’s about power, giving the state a rationale to quash dissent, no matter its source. The second sentence unveils its true purpose since this state sponsored religion is “essential to the national heritage and indispensable for justice and public morals.”

The ten commandments on school walls in Louisiana. A conservative evangelical definition of when life begins. Dismissing LBGT+ folks as unnatural. More capital punishment. These ideas and their like already shape policy in U.S. states and at the Federal level. Imagine what comes if a group like the New Apostolic Reformation gains more, much more, than its nascent power. Which is their intent.

Just say no to principle number three.

 

  • *National conservatism has, according to Hazony, five main principles:
  1.  Historical empiricism
  2.  Nationalism
  3.  Religion
  4.  Limited Executive Power
  5.  Individual Freedom

Hazony, Conservatism, p. 33-34

 

Beyond the Boundaries, Commentary on Religion, Great Wheel, Health, Holidays, Myth and Story, Paganism, Reimagine. Reconstruct. Reenchant.

Paganism lies just beneath the surface

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Tuesday gratefuls: Shadow, her sweet self. Dr. Bupathi. Another blood draw. Soon another P.E.T. scan. Oh, joy. Cancer. Driving down the hill. Rides for my nerve ablation procedures. All our organ recitals. Mark’s journey of return to Hafar. Darkness. Welcome it. Vikings. JJ McCarthy.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Dr. Bupathi

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev   Strength of the heart

Tarot: Nine of Wands. (Druid Craft)

  • Inner fortitude: Past struggles have made you wiser and tougher. The card encourages you to trust the wisdom of your experiences and to have faith in your ability to handle whatever comes next.

One brief shining: I dropped into Noodles and Company, bought a large bowl of mac and cheese, a side salad, rewarding myself with comfort food for driving down the hill, hearing the news I expected to hear, taking care of bidness, thinking I might have to start being even more kind to myself if I’m in new territory.

 

Health: Saw Bupathi. As expected, he ordered a new blood draw. And, another PET scan. I’ll see him again when that’s been done. Short version. This rise in my PSA, by itself, is not concerning. If it jumps again? New drug protocols.

Here’s an oddity. The Rocky Mountain Cancer Care Offices had Halloween decorations up. Not just a few. Witch’s conical hats. Bats. Black Cat. Plastic Pumpkins. Strands of purple and black crepe paper. More. In every hall and hung with a decorator’s eye.

This celebration seems both early to me and yet so apt. If there is any place where the veil between the worlds thins out everyday, all year it’s at an oncology practice. Many, perhaps most of us who visit here, have seen the possibility of death move closer, some so close her breath is hot on the back of their neck.

Sure Halloween doesn’t hold the same punch that it did during early Celtic times, but it retains the spirit of it actually pretty well. Trick or treaters costumed in the night do represent, though most don’t realize it, the back and forth between this world and the Other World so pronounced during this holiday of Summer’s End, Samain.

I mentioned all the decorations to the phlebotomist who had just slid a needle painlessly into a vein on my left arm. “Like Christmas,” she said. “Yes,” I replied, “Only scary.” She laughed.

Do you ever wonder about Halloween? How much effort some folks put into it? Their yards decorated with ten-foot skeletons, witches standing around a boiling cauldron, maybe a devil, or a vampire? Pumpkin lights. Elaborately carved real pumpkins.

Paganism always lies just below the surface. In the holidays of most world religions. In the resurgence here and in Europe of diverse pagan “traditions.” It’s there to receive those whose faces turn toward the greensward, to the soil, to seasonal change. When the miracle of photosynthesis goes from science to awe.

Halloween speaks to our need to recognize death, to know the fallow time will come for us all.

Health

Doing What I Can

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Monday gratefuls: Shadow of the morning. Darkness, my old friend. The Ancient Brothers on honor. Mark, found work in Hafar. Cancer. Buphati. Swedish. Down the hill. Erleada and Orgovyx. Life extenders. My son, 44 next month. Murdoch. Lenovo Thinkpad. My favorite computer ever. Knowledge. Talmud Torah. Understanding. Learning. Wisdom.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Mussar

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev. The inner strength to move forward.

Tarot: #4, The Lord      When upright, The Lord card signifies a time to take control and establish order. It encourages using logic and discipline to achieve goals and provide security.  Gemini

One brief shining: As the mornings stay dark longer, as the air grows cooler, and the Aspens and Willows await the signal for their golden moment, I gather years of thoughts on the fallow time, my Winter Solstice meditations, and become quiet, my journey along the Great Wheel continues. For now.

 

Health: Yes. My oncology appointment. We cancer folk have these punctuations in our lives. Blood draws. Scans of this sort and that. Radiation visits. Because cancer can rear up, spread its hood, and strike suddenly. Vigilance. Surveillance.

Also means that life never has that ah, I’m on the hiking trail and nothing else exists moment. In the three months between blood draws I take my Erleada in the morning and Orgovyx at night. I have to manage those prescriptions.

Not to say I don’t have many times, most times, when cancer lies apart from my day-to-day. I do. Cancer is not life. It is death. And in that sense, so very ordinary. Blindingly mundane.

What I mean is that cancer does not change the journey-birth, life, death-but it does keep some attention always on that point where the GPS can no longer find the way.

Living with a terminal illness is, to say it another way, just that. Living. I’m so grateful I’ve had the chance to live and not die sooner. I’m also grateful that I have this opportunity each morning to set down my thoughts and feelings. What a privilege.

On a different note. I have renewed my workouts. Feeling better. Life span. Health span. Health span increases do not, by themselves, equal good quality of life. Even if medicine extends life, feeling good requires effort. In the late seventies, certainly in the eighties, quality of life relies as much, if not more, on diet and regular movement. Walks, workouts, bicycles.

I learned that lesson, again, over the first few months of this year when I stopped working out, ate poorly, became melancholic. A non-virtuous cycle.

My quality of life, enhanced by Shadow and Artemis, began to tick up in July. Today I feel good. Right now, thanks to some endorphins from my workout, but also from knowing I’m doing what I can. The rest is up to doctors and medical care.

A tarot note on the Lord which seems apropos here:

  • Structure and stability: The Lord can point to the creation of necessary structures and routines to build a secure and stable foundation for the future.  Gemini

 

 

 

Dogs, Family, Far Right, Friends, Greenhouse, Health, Mussar, Politics, US History

Demented

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Kavod. Honor. Ruth, up here. Her college days. Work, loans, heavy homework load: Biology, Chemistry, Statistics. Sociology. Gabe, a senior. Warmer. Sadly. Our demented President. Chipocalypse Now. Our frustrated and divided nation. Shadow. The keeper of our safety. Lorikeets and Magpies in Melbourne. Murdoch, aging.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Shadow’s teeth, her front paws

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev. Strength of the heart. The inner strength to move forward.

Tarot: #8, Strength. Reversed (Druid Craft)     The reversed Strength card can appear when you question your own courage and abilities. You may feel a sense of inadequacy or that you are not strong enough to handle a situation. Gemini

One brief shining: Sometimes the Tarot arrows down into the psyche, turning over carefully placed rocks, uncovering hidden fear, masked feelings, and there is the possibility that after my visit to Dr. Buphati, I could be shaken, wondering how to gather my ometz lev for the ancientrail ahead. I read it though as a caution, a yellow flag. Be aware and ready.

 

Dog journal: Put my head on my pillow, drifting, ready to party with Morpheus when, “Grrr.” A low rumble from Shadow’s chest. Then, “Bark.” Muffled. A moment. “Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark.” Something had invaded her territory. Go away. Go away. Get thee hence. Vamoose. In urgent Dog. Right by my ear.

She quieted and I did slip away from the surly bounds of consciousness. Another night of Shadow’s.

 

Artemis: Nathan has two hernias. And a fair amount of work to finish. The cold frames. Lapping the Cedar. Some rubberizing of window spaces and doors. He plans to supervise another carpenter to get Artemis finished, ready for winter.

More and more Tomatoes, mostly still green. Some carrots peeking through. Kale tall and proud. Spinach and Beets, too. I’m having a lot of fun. A dormant part of my life revivified.

 

Family: Ruth came up last night. Needed a change of scenery. And, she missed me. We saw each other on Kate’s birthday, August 18th. Not since then.

She’s maturing so fast. Holding down two jobs. In her first semester of her new, STEM focused major, Integrative Physiology. Talking about cations and anions. Naming molecules. Also looking ten years ahead, all focused on an M.D.

This is still the week of Jon’s yahrzeit, challenging for both her and Gabe. A bit raw. As well she might be. Yet. Living on her own. Managing multiple sources of money. Handling the work of a difficult major. On her own for good now.

 

Friends: Saw Alan for lunch at the new Cow in downtown Evergreen. Passable. He was on his way to a 2:30 curtain call. Annie Gets Her Gun on Center Stage. He shaved his always beard, sacrificing for his art.

 

Just a moment: Chicago will find out why it’s called the Department of War. Jesus. Chipocalypse. I love the smell of deportations in the morning. That loose tether to reality has come unmoored and we’re left with a scared little man who wants to play army with U.S. citizens as the other side. Will no one rid us of this troublesome nut job? Impeach him and be done with him.

Dogs, Far Right, Garden, Greenhouse, Politics, Shadow Mountain

Flat Wrong

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Shabbat gratefuls: Shadow, huntress of Chipmunks. Chewer of bones. Cool Morning. The Night Sky. Orion. Leo. Aquarius. Scorpio. Aries. Taurus. Cancer. Virgo. Ursa Major. Draco. Cassiopeia. Betelgeuse. Rigel. Vega. Polaris. Antares. Andromeda. Milky  Way. Webb. Hubble. Stellarium. Venus. Mercury. Mars. The Goldilock Zone. Rilke.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Tara

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev. Strength of the heart. The inner strength to move forward.

Tarot:  Ace of Cups, (Druid Craft)

  • Creativity and inspiration: As the start of the Cups suit, this card indicates a burst of creative inspiration. This may manifest as a new artistic project or an influx of new ideas.  Gemini

One brief shining: Eleanor bounded down the stairs, her yellow groomer’s bandana flying, Shadow raced ahead, out the back door, around Artemis, and the two of them ran circles, and circles, and circles chasing each other as Tara and I sat down to coffee, talking, and talking, and talking.

 

Dog journal: Shadow had a big day yesterday with Eleanor’s visit and Dr. Josy coming by for her Lepto booster. I kept Eleanor while Tara went grocery shopping. When Shadow and Eleanor came inside, they both laid down, having worn each other out.

Dr. Josy played with Shadow, got her to come up and snuggle, pinched her skin, and pushed the needle in. Vaccine complete. Chew on that RFK.

Gardening: Earlier Tara and I toured Artemis. It’s a short tour, but still. She found my Kale, Spinach, and Beets impressive and enjoyed one of the ripe Cherry Tomatoes. She asked me to come over and help her think through her garden, which she describes as less successful than my tiny one.

Touchy. As Tol, Jamie’s son, used to say often: comparison is the thief of joy. Even so. Gardening is something I know about so I can help her identify what she wants to achieve and how best to get there. Sort of exciting.

She wants me to give her a January 28th birthday present, help planning her 2026 garden. Again. Exciting. I spent a bit of time yesterday ordering seed catalogs.

 

Health: See Buphati on Monday, check out this latest twist. Get a plan for how to move forward. Calm. Yet also aware this could be a new inflection point.

Back to working out regularly. Cardio and resistance. Hitting over 150 minutes of moderate exercise each week. I feed Shadow at 6:30 am, then head up stairs for my pre-workout routine: a cup of coffee, two puffs of albuterol, a piece of fruit. After that on to the treadmill and either a leg and back day or an upper body day. That timing allows me to finish somewhere between 7:30 and 7:45, plenty of time for any 8 am calls, or appointments in the morning.

 

Just a moment: Occupying forces. Federal forces, under the cover of ensuring ICE actions, cutting down crime. Libertarians, unite against this invasion, this government overreach. Show our would-be tyrant that even his allies know this is wrong. Flat wrong.

 

 

Art and Culture, Dogs, Family

Time softens

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Friday gratefuls: Kathy, who died. Tara and Eleanor. Cool morning. Shadow of the morning. Sit, down, touch, place. Wag tail. Jump up. Outside. The dark as friendly, fecund, mysterious, soothing. Jon. Who died three years ago yesterday. Ruth and Gabe. Kate, always Kate. Mussar on love and repulsion. Natalie. Her Dog needing stitches. Tom’s ISS photograph share of sprites during a Thunderstorm.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Acceptance

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

The concept is deeply connected to the natural world. A person practicing acts like water, which flows around obstacles rather than confronting them directly. It is the idea of working with the natural current of life, not against it.  Gemini

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev. Strength of the heart. The inner strength to move forward.

Tarot: Eight of Wands, reversed. (Druid Craft Deck)

The card’s core message is to slow down and reassess your path. It often appears when you are feeling frustrated with a lack of forward movement, or when a flurry of chaotic activity is causing more harm than good.

One brief shining: Shadow stands beside her Mule Deer yearling friend, far enough away to not get kicked, close enough to offer companionship and receive it in return; this yearling has come several times over the last couple of weeks though I’ve not seen again the joyful race she and Shadow ran that first day she was here.

 

Dog journal: Shadow gets her Lepto booster today from Dr. Josy. Who thinks Shadow is “perfect.” Me, too. Most of the time.  Eleanor went to the vet last week to see about excessive licking. Findlay had to go to the emergency vet in Bangor because he yelped and yelped. Possibly a pinched nerve.

We care for our Dog companions as we would our children. Which unveils the relationship possible between this world of human artifice and the world of Wild Neighbors. No, not feeding nor domesticating them, but recognizing their inherent worth and dignity as fellow creatures of the One.

Why I give money to the Colorado Wildlife Sanctuary. Where maliciously kept Wild Animals go to live out their lives in a setting and with food as close as possible to their original home.

 

Bought this at last year’s show

Family time: Yesterday was the third Gregorian anniversary of Jon’s death. His yahrzeit was on the 1st since the Jewish calendar follows the moon, not the solar calendar of Pope Gregory XIII.

As time can do, the memory of Jon has softened. Letting the awful struggles of the divorce and his reaction to Kate’s death fall away, his difficult life now sad rather than frustrating.

I remember especially his approach to art over most of the time I knew him in Colorado. When riding his bike or driving his car, Jon looked for pieces of metal run over, sifted to the sided of the road like flotsam on a Maine beach. Things discarded or fallen off, then transformed by the weight of passing trucks and cars, Rain and often rust. A piece of a fender from a wreck. Beer cans. A piece of sheet metal.

He would stop and pick them up, take them home, clean them up, ink them in various colors, then run them through a manual print making press. I have several of these pieces and find them beautiful.