• Category Archives Hermitage

  • Gloomy inner weather

    Posted on by Charles Comment

    Winter and the Wolf Moon

    Wednesday gratefuls: Safeway pickup. Safeway pharmacy. Urology Associates. Prostate cancer. Metastases. Erleada. Orgovyx. The Post Office. Kep, who finds his way. Slowly. Diane. Tom. Interlocutors. Alan. Tomorrow. The Ancient Brothers. Early rising. 5:30 am. Omicron booster. Writing over a thousand words a day. How To Become A Pagan and Ancientrails. Snow on its way. Dropping temperatures. My new weather station.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: Erleada, keeping the metastases in check.

     

    Read the clinical notes of my radiation oncologist, Dr. Simpson. Starts out: patient with metastatic prostate cancer. Not sure why but it nicked me this time. That phrase. Especially metastatic. That’s me. I have a cancer that has metastasized. A bit later I got the bill for the P.E.T. scan. $1,000 bucks. Then, tried to roll up the rug in my new home office. Too much. I’d waited too late in the day. Result: gloomy mental weather.

    After that I went to Safeway. Pushed outside my comfort zone ( my mussar practice this month) and went inside to get an omicron booster and pick up a prescription for a drug that had run out early. You have to make an appointment for a booster. I didn’t have to the last time. We’ve always done it this way. I’m here; can’t you just go ahead? No. Sigh. Got in line, 8 people. When I got there. Can’t fill it. Your insurance company says not till January 2nd. Well, fuck it.

    So much for pushing past the comfort zone. By the time I got home with my groceries. Which I was able to accomplish. In a funk. Box breathing. Unclench jaw. Damn it. None of this is a big deal. Well, the cancer. Yeah. But that’s not new.

    Made myself some eggs, sopped them up with French bread. Righted the ship after a no good, but not really very bad day.

    I write this to illustrate how easy it is to get off course with a nick here, a nick there. Good to have some tools. Forgot the How do I feel exercise. But. I did do notice five things. A traffic sign. The Grass. Conifer High School. The pavement. Lovely clouds. And my version of box breathing. Breathe in four counts. Hold for seven. Blow out for eight. Repeat. Activates the vagus nerve. And, take some action. Made myself dinner. Calmed down.

    Chesed. Loving kindness. Not just for the other. For yourself as well. Equanimity is a middah, too. Bringing oneself back into balance. I try to remember to show compassion for myself when I get in these spots. Don’t always remember because the feelings, the downer ones, can dominate. For a while. I also try to bring myself back into balance, realize the context, get a perspective on my mood. Can take as long as a day. Sometimes only a few minutes. Yesterday was in between.

    This drag happens much less these days. Hardly at all. Yet. When the blues strike ya, you gotta do somethin’.

     

    Which reminds me. If you haven’t seen the Muscle Shoals documentary on Netflix, I recommend it. Highly. A small town in Alabama with a big influence on popular music. Who recorded there? Percy Sledge. Wilson Pickett. Aretha Franklin. The Rolling Stones. Duane Allman. Lynyrd Skynyryd. Bob Dylan. Bono. Etta James. Clarence Carter. Bobby Gentry. Kris Kristofferson. Steve Winwood and Traffic. Alabama. Paul Anka. Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel. Bob Seger. Leon Russel. Otis Redding. Rod Stewart. And a whole lot of others.

    Worth it for the inspiration.


    Cooking Dogs Feelings Fourth Phase Health Hermitage Music Mussar Shadow Mountain

  • So much to see. To learn.

    Posted on by Charles Comment

    Winter and the Wolf Moon

    Tuesday gratefuls: 8 years in Colorado. On the Solstice. The long dog ride with Tom. Memories. Challenges. Family. Death. Divorce. Mental and physical illnesses. Beauty. The Rocky Mountains. The Wild Neighbors. Mountain hiking. Deep snow. Sudden. Then, suddenly gone. Living at altitude. Becoming a member of CBE. Elk and Mule Deer visiting our back. Blue Skies. Black Mountain. Vega. Gertie. Rigel. Kep. Kate, always Kate. Who loved the Mountains.

    Sparks of joy and awe: That dog ride 8 years ago. Talking story.

     

    Back of the car anthropology. Two vanity plates. YAHWEHS. ODACIOUS. The first on a jet black fancy Audi. The other on a Lexus sedan. Also. Stickers. I heart Aging and Dying. No baby on board. Feel free to ram me. Toyoda. With yoda ears on the T and the a. I love the way we express ourselves on the back of our vehicles. So revealing. Full disclosure. I have a large decal of Lake Superior on the back window of Ruby. And, an ADL Dissent is Patriotic on a side window. There are too the cars seemingly held together by stickers like the occupants got started on the project and just. couldn’t. stop.

     

    On December 20th, 2014 Tom Crane and I loaded Rigel, Vega, and Kep in Ivory. All three trazodoned. Tom drove straight through. We talked the whole way. Talking story. The conversation continues now, eight years later. Gertie rode with Kate in the rental van filled with stuff we didn’t want the movers to take. I remember Kate telling me she bought Gertie a hamburger at one of their stops. A satisfied dog.

    These have not been easy years. No. They have been fulfilling, satisfying years though. Deep intimacy between Kate and me, especially as she began her long decline. Putting cancer in the chronic illness box. Being here for the kids and Jon after the divorce. Now for Ruth and Gabe after Jon’s death. Becoming part of the CBE community. Making friends. Learning from the ancient civilization of the Jews. Kabbalah. The Torah. Mussar. Talmud. Mitzvahs.

    The Wild Neighbors. The Mountains. The Streams. The hiking. Mountain adjustments. Four Seasons. Eight Seasons. The Mountain Fall. Golden Aspens. Against green Lodgepoles. Black Mountain punctuated with gold, then green. Snow flocked in Winter. Wildflowers in the Mountain Spring. Fawns. Kits. Cubs. Elk and Moose Calves. The long Summers. Beautiful in their own right, yet also angsty with the ever present threat of Wildfire.

    Living here has been, is an adventure. In relationships. In deep learning. An immersion in the world of Mountains. After the world of Lakes and Rivers and rich Soil.

    So much more to see. To learn.

     

    Visited Carmax yesterday. The Jeep. Prepared to sell it, then Uber home. A first for me. But. Can’t take a North Carolina power of attorney. Colorado makes it difficult. Do you want me to get you the necessary papers? Yes. Talked to Sarah while the nice lady in the blue Carmax smock did that. Took fifteen minutes. Many pieces of paper. Post it notes. Sign here stickers. OK. Thanks. Back up the hill.

     

    Got two calendars as presents.  Aimed at different parts of me. A Zen Calendar from Tom. A New Yorker Cartoons calendar from Sarah and Jerry. Yep. I recognize both of those guys as resident within me. Wonderful to be seen.

     

     


    Colorado Dogs Family Feelings Fourth Phase Friends GeekWorld Great Wheel Health Hermitage Judaism Kabbalah Memories Minnesota Mountains Mussar Our Land and Home Plants Reimagine. Reconstruct. Reenchant. Shadow Mountain Talmud The Move The West Torah Travel Weather +Climate

  • A day with Ruth

    Posted on by Charles 1 Comment

    Winter and the Wolf Moon

    Sunday (Christmas) gratefuls: The gift of incarnation. Of life. In Ruth. In Kep. In the Lodgepoles. In the Water of Maxwell Creek. In the Stone of Shadow Mountain. In the life sustaining Air. In the powerful Fire. In the rich and ever giving Soil. In my own body. A visit with Ruth. Colorado Springs. Pine Valley Road. North Fork of the South Platte. Woodland Park. The Rescue Mission in the underbelly of Colorado Springs. The rickety houses in the neighborhood around it. All those cracks where the light comes in.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: Ruth

     

    Two decisions. Neither major. Took a while. Should I go the safe route down to Colorado Springs. 470 to I-25. Or take the beautiful Pine Valley Road and risk having my AWD malfunction light come on, return me to front wheel drive? Maybe something worse? Should I take Kep again with me to see Ruth? He seemed to enjoy it. Or should I leave him at home and come back to a puddle or two? Fussed with them for a while. Longer than I needed to. Miss having a second voice here. Kate’s.

    Took Pine Valley Road and left Kep in the new dining room with the door closed to the rest of the house. Called Susan Taylor and paid her to come feed him at 2 pm, stay with him for a while to let him in and out a few times. No puddles. A happy Kep when I returned. Yay.

    The Pine Valley Road had more up and down, more curves than I remembered. More snow than I expected. Beautiful. Minnesota driving skills made it easy peasy. The North Fork of the South Platte which carves the valley was no longer frozen over, running cold over Stones and around sweeping bends. No fly fisherman like there would have been on a more clement Saturday. Flash flood warning signs near Cheeseman Reservoir, one of the big ones for the city of Denver. Not visible from the switchbacks that take the road past it.

    A journey of Mountains and Streams, landscapes with Mountains in the distance. Pikes Peak among them. The Pike National Forest. Campgrounds. Those National Forest Service signs. A series of curves with signs: Motorcyclists exercise extreme caution! Little traffic. Past Decker. Eventually into Woodland Park. A Mountain town ready for the tourist dollar.

    Into Colorado Springs the back way past Manitou Springs where the Pikes Peak Cog Railroad chugs up the Mountain. Got a little turned around and found the raggedy edge of the Springs. Shotgun houses with cars and appliances permanently parked around them. A brave Rainbow flag flying graced one. Maybe three blocks. Then a have to left turn which took me past the Rescue Mission as the men, all men as far as I could see, were leaving the building for a day on the streets. Some stopping, conversing. Others trudging on toward their spots or their camps. Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Yeah.

     

    Found Ruth. Juniper building. A phone on the wall. Punched 0 for the receptionist. A voice, very faint. yes. Here to see Ruth Olson. what. Ruth Olson. I know, but she has a pass. oh. Finally two women came. Here for Ruth? She’s very excited. Such a sweet girl. Yes, I agree. A very sweet girl.

    She came out wearing one of Kate’s jackets. A thin one. Would later complain of being cold. A big smile and a hug. I’m leaving the building with no techs! She shook her head in amazement. Her first pass since she got there the Friday before Thanksgiving.

    In the car we made plans. Limited plans. It was Christmas Eve and all the museums were closed. And there were a lot of museums. The Zoo? Too cold. She opened all her Hanukah presents. Happy with Smart Wool socks, the notebook from Annie, the oil paints from Sarah and Jerry, the chocolate I brought her. A kiddie moment for a too soon mature 16 year old going on 30.

    Food? Yeah, I’m hungry. Sushi? Yeah. I know a place. I asked Alexis. We found Uri sushi. In the hood, Alexis said. A pretty upscale hood imho. Wonderful sushi. Alexis was right about that. We had the sashimi combo and three rolls. Ruth ate. Happy to be out of the hospital. In a restaurant on her own with only her grandpop. No staff. No walls. No fences. No two sliding gates to get in and out.

    Next out to Anthony’s Nails in the upscale Briargate Mall. You know. Lululemon. Anthropologie. Boutique clothing stores. An Apple store. That sort of thing.

    A mani-pedi for both of us. Ruth took control. I’ll talk to them. She told them what I wanted, then went to the three bookshelf sized collection of colors to choose a gel for her toes and one for her fingers. A pinkish silver and a sparkly black. A petite Vietnamese woman with an elf hat on came to me and we walked back to the pedicure chairs.

    If you’ve never done this, pedicure chairs are something. Many have massage rollers in the chairback. Mine did not. They do have a throne like feel. The person receiving the pedicure sits high up above the person working on their feet. Somewhat Jesus like it just occurred to me. There’s a small plastic lined bathtub for your feet into which hot to warm water pours.

    My elf hatted lady opened her rolling container of tools, taking out nail clippers. Ruth sat beside me. This place was fancy. Two rows of pedicure chairs the length of the store with the nail stands in the middle. A water feature in the back. White columns separating the ranks of six pedicure chairs from each other. A bar up front with mineral water, a water tank filled with lemons and apple slices. Even liquor.

    I had on a Vermont Flannel shirt and jeans. Ruth had on Kate’s old jacket and black sweat pants. We were not dressed for the occasion. Made it a bit more fun.

    We continued our conversation begun over sushi while the two women cut our nails, pushed back the cuticles, trimmed and massaged our feet. Ruth was more open and more clear than she had been. Much less defensive. We spoke about her Dad, family counseling sessions. Her visits to equine therapy and the therapy dogs. The other folks in her building. Their antics.

    The next stop was to be a bookstore, but Ruth remembered the Garden of the Gods. We drove there. I’ve never been. We didn’t get out. Again, too cold and grandpop was getting tired. Shards of red rock let alone, spread out from each other. Tall and majestic. Balancing rock which Ruth remembered climbing as a little girl.

    The road through Garden of the Gods ends near Manitou Springs, another Mountain town ready for the tourist dollar. We decided to drive through it since Ruth had never seen it. I pointed out a person in costume. That’s not just a costume, grandpop. That’s a furry. Oh. I’m gonna tell everybody when I get back that I saw a furry. Well, we all have our ways to hide.

    We did find the bookstore. Not the one Ruth wanted, but the Springs branch of Tattered Covers, the most well known Denver bookstore. We wandered through it pointing at books we’d read. Have you read this? No. Oh, this is wonderful. Yes, I liked it too.

    At that point Ruth had worn out and I was ready to head home. I signed her back in at 6 pm, left the sliding wire gates behind me and drove back to Shadow Mountain and Kep.


    Colorado Dogs Family Feelings Fourth Phase Health Hermitage Jefferson County Shadow Mountain Travel Weather +Climate

  • How to Become a Pagan

    Posted on by Charles Comment

    Winter and the Wolf Moon*

    Friday gratefuls: Colorado reintroduces Wolves 2024. Wolves. Mountain Lions. Bears: Black and Grizzly. Minx. Pine Martens. Wolverines. Lynx. Bobcats. Owls. Eagles. Osprey. Peregrine Falcons. Kestrels. Our fellow predators of the Rocky Mountains. Hanukah. The Nights of December. Christmas Eve. Christmas. New Years. Yule. This dark and celebratory time of year. Saturnalia. Diane. Jenny. Mark and his two jobs. Gabe and his legos. Ruth in Colorado Springs. Tomorrow with her.

    Sparks of joy and awe: The Wolves of Minnesota

     

    Cold here the last two days. Double digits below zero. -13 the coldest I recorded. Now up to 9 on Friday morning. Bit of snow. 3 inches max.

     

    Got started on my home office. Moving art down to a sale pile in the former sewing room. Then I’ll move the green rug to the guest room. Get the printer in place. The battery backup. Connect the cords and I’ll be ready to use the space. Some more moving from the loft, but not yet. Also finishing pruning on the wire shelving in the now dining room. After that the guest room. The walk in closet and the shelving. Continuing to prune.

     

    Ruth called yesterday morning. Sad about her Dad. Her person. We both lost our persons didn’t we, grandpop? Yep. The acknowledgment of the new yahrzeit plaques is tonight. 6 pm at CBE. It’s also Rosh Chodesh, the honoring of the new moon. And, the 6th night of Hanukah. Probably going in person.

     

    Working title How To Become A Pagan. The new book. Reorganized it using the Great Wheel. Going to sort through posts on those holidays for content. Got Wes Jackson’s book Becoming Native to This Place in the mail yesterday. Can’t find my other copy. Key books for me in this project: Looking for the Hidden Folk, The Celtic Faery Faith, The Great Work, Speaking for the Trees, Overstory, Wendell Berry’s poetry, Mary Oliver, The Outermost House, Sand County Almanac, Leaves of Grass, Tao Te Ching. It’s about reenchantment, reconnecting, gauze removing, learning to walk barefoot, seeing what you’re looking at. Having fun with it.

     

     

    *The very first full moon of the year is known in many cultures as the Full Wolf Moon, which is appropriate given the deep, ancient ties between wolves and January’s full moon. For instance, the Gaelic word for January, Faoilleach, comes from the term for wolves, faol-chù, even though wolves haven’t existed in Scotland for centuries. The Saxon word for January is Wulf-monath, or Wolf Month. Meanwhile, the festival of the Japanese wolf god, Ooguchi Magami, is held in January. The Seneca tribe links the wolf so strongly to the moon, they believe that a wolf gave birth to the moon by singing it into the sky. Just why are wolves so strongly associated with January’s full moon?

    To learn more: Moongiant.com


    Family Feelings Fourth Phase Great Wheel Great Work Hermitage Judaism Mountains Reimagine. Reconstruct. Reenchant. Shadow Mountain Weather +Climate Writing

  • Malfunction Junction.

    Posted on by Charles Comment

    Samain and the Holimonth

    Saturday gratefuls: Vince. His buddy. Friends on Shadow Mountain, young strong friends. With good lungs. Rugs on my level now. Kep can grip the floor. A new home office. Jacquie Lawson Advent Calendar. Hanukah. Avatar: Water with Gabe today. Lasagna in a box last night. Picking up Gabe. Stevenson Toyota. Jon’s autopsy. David Olson signing the renunciation. Probate, moving forward soon. I think. Ruth in Colorado Springs. Hanukah presents for Gabe, Ruth, Jen.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: Arctic Cold slumping south

     

    Vince and his buddy, an artist and restorer whose wife is a conservation artist, came after Vince dropped his girls off at school. They only had 45 minutes because Vince had to get back to school for the girl’s Christmas concert. In that time they moved the heavy Stickley bookcase up into the sewing room. Rolled up the large oriental rug in the loft and brought it down to my level. Lugged all my computer equipment: desktop, printer, monitor, backup battery, desk down the stairs and up into the home office here in the house. They also moved a chair and ottoman, an organizer, and a side table down to my level. Whew.

    They moved the bookcase using straps that put the weight on the upper arm. I get winded moving light boxes. Feel like I’ve made a couple of friends here. Maybe a pizza night sometime in the future.

    Vince may rent some space in my garage. He’s also going to revivify my snowblower so I can handle the under 5 inch snows. I like using the snowblower but I don’t want to take care of the heavy stuff anymore.

     

    Worked out after they left. Good one. Hit my 150 minutes for the week plus some. Still sarcopenia-ed. Lower muscle mass due to aging. My resistance work has not gotten back to previous levels. As I said the other day, may fix that, may not.

     

    Got into Ruby and drove to faraway northern Denver. I give myself 45 minutes for the city, but Jen’s house on Galena is more like an hour. All on I-70. The toll lanes have the nice orange sign that says Toll Waived. Makes the trip quicker for now. I won’t use once the tolls come on. Too cheap.

    On the way over my AWD malfunction warning light came on. The second time. The other time coming home from Colorado Springs last Saturday. Called Stevenson Toyota. Bring it in and leave it with us for a week! OMG. A week in the Mountains with a rental. Plus the cost. Of the repair and the rental. Called Enterprise and lined up a Nissan Rogue for $476. Then Gabe and I drove to Stevenson since it was on the way back up the  hill.

    Sat in the service line at Stevenson’s for around an hour. I turned Ruby off. When the guy came, I turned her back on the warning had disappeared. As it had done before. Explained to him what the service person I’d called said. He nodded. Reached in moved the cursor to a box that said messages. Right over the steering wheel. No messages.

    I’ll have to talk to my lead technician. He was gone about 20 minutes. Well, since there is no message we have nothing to go on. You’re not harming it by driving it. (the other person had said it might quit on me) My hunch was that it was a computer glitch of some kind. Had it been serious I would have thought the warning light would have stayed on. He agreed.

    Apparently the AWD distributes power to the wheels depending on speed, curve, acceleration, sway and it might have something that makes it uncomfortable in certain situations. It then switches to front wheel drive. When the light is off, the AWD is functioning. Come back if it starts staying on all the time. OK.

    Called Enterprise. Canceled the rental. Got gas. Drove Ruby back up the hill to a very hungry Kep. Wore me out.

     

     

     


    Family Feelings Fourth Phase Friends GeekWorld Health Hermitage Mountains Shadow Mountain Weather +Climate

  • Moving

    Posted on by Charles Comment

    Samain and the Holimonth Moon

    Friday gratefuls: Gabe, coming up today through Sunday. Cold outside, 7 degrees. Kep. MVP. Alan. Sold his house. Evergreen. The Elk of Evergreen. The Bread Lounge. That dulce de leche croissant. Vince and his laborer. Moving my home office into the house. Today. Ruth. Hanukah. Advent. Christmas. The Winter Solstice. Yule. Putin. Ukraine. The Moon, the Sun, and the Stars.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: Getting things done.

     

    Breakfast with Alan yesterday at the Bread Lounge. They sold their house. But. The one they want to buy continues to slide back and forth between offers, apparently a couple who are in conflict. He wants to stay; she wants a garden. To make it more fun the sellers agent is on her honeymoon in Southeast Asia.

    Alan adapts quickly. If there’s a couple of months between the sale of their house and being able to move in somewhere new, he and Cheri will either go to Hawai’i or rent a penthouse in the same building.  Or move into a furnished Air BnB type place. Penthouse now means, I learned, any unit above the 38th floor.

    He’s excited about a new adventure. Living downtown after over 20 years overlooking the Continental Divide in Genessee. He’s a happy guy, making the changes positive. Sorta like my buddy, Mark.

    Had the Chinook Salmon toast again. Alan had corned beef hash and eggs. Afterward I bought a ridiculously expensive croissant filled with dulce de leche. Had it later in the day. OMG. Totally worth the price.

     

    Back home. Mussar online. Discussing a page in Jewish Values called Untamed Anger and the Death of Love. Focused on the story of King David and Michal, his wife, the daughter of King Saul. About modulating our voice, our words, even our intentions in situations of anger. Avoiding sarcasm. Staying present. Being aware that words can kill love in a marriage. A good discussion.

     

    After I had to go unplug and otherwise disconnect my loft computer and its peripherals, move all the items I’d collected near and on it. Clear off the Levenger laptop desk. Move chairs off the Oriental rug. Also clean off the side table I bought for my birthday several years ago. Boxed up computer wires, speakers, microphone.

    Yet this morning I’ll box up teaware. The Zojirushi.

    All of that will move into the home office here in the Hermitage. Plus my computer chair and a rolling file, the Oriental rug and one of the Ikea reading chairs.

    Why you might ask? Kep. He can no longer go up and down the loft stairs. I’ve begun to write my new book and I need to be on the desktop. To do that I would have to leave him alone in the house while I was up there. When he was younger, that would have been fine, but now he wants to be near me most of the time. He’ll get a bit more exercise going up and down the stairs to the third level. Which have grippy treads on them.

    The loft will continue to be a library, art studio, gym, and reading spot.

    Oh. The Stickley bookcase is also going upstairs into Kate’s old sewing room to complete the conversion of it into a dining room. Still pruning work to do in it, but it’s switchover in purpose has already happened.


    Feelings Fourth Phase Friends Hermitage Mussar Shadow Mountain

  • Cancer Today

    Posted on by Charles Comment

    Samain and the Holimonth Moon

    Saturday gratefuls: Tom. Ruth. Diane. Mary. Mark. Alan. Jen. The Night Sky. Each Star. Each Galaxy. All the Dark Matter. The mysterious and ineffable Universe. Life. All my wild Neighbors. Kristie. My P.E.T. scan. The Ancient Brothers. Kep. Finding his way. By feel at times. The House on Shadow Mountain. Herme. Family. Friends. This Day, this amazing unique Day.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: Blood

     

    P.E.T. scan. Kristie and I talked late yesterday. It was a little confusing, but my big takeaway from it was that the news was good. Compared to the axumin scan I had last year almost all the sites that had uptake of the tracer showed what she referred to as healed cancer. There were no new areas of concern though one spot near my left hip and one spot of my T3 vertebrae did have uptake which means active cancer. This confused me a bit because I didn’t remember any spot on my spine being of concern after the axumin scan. Might have forgotten, or not been told.

    I also say confusing because I don’t know what healed cancer means. Kristie said she thought of it as cancer cells that have been starved to the point of inaction. As long my testosterone is low they will not be able to reignite.

    I don’t know what they’re going to want to do about the two sites of still active cancer. Might be radiation. I’ll have a call with Dr. Simpson again. He’s the radiation oncologist. The other option would be to continue letting the Erleada do its work. It has improved my situation a lot over the last year. See if it can knock out or down these remaining active sites. Maybe there’s an option I don’t know about.

    Drug holiday. In 9 months or so I will be taken off both Erleada and Orgovyx. This is because being on them too long means my cancer might develop resistance to them. During the drug holiday my testosterone will return and the “healed” cancer cells will once again have a food source. Kristie said sometimes patients are off the drugs for years before the PSA rises. Sometimes months. Very individual. Not predictable.

    Anyhow. That’s the cancer story as it stands today on the third day of Advent 2022.

     

    Yesterday was a busy day. Talked to Tom in the AM. In the creativity class my How to Become a Pagan was a hit. As I said yesterday, you can read it on the Reimagining Faith page of this blog. Made me feel good. Pumped me up for my writing. A priority for me.

    Lee from Morris Autobody brought the Jeep back. And I drove him back to his shop. You may remember Lee from my conversation with him about the problems in his business.

    Ruth called but the connection was never made. I called her back. The same. Kristie’s nurse, Michelle, called and asked if I could reschedule till Monday. No. I want to know the result of that scan. Mark called me and Mary wanted to zoom. All of this communication happened over the space of an hour and a half.

    Leave for breakfast with Alan at 8:30. The Parkside. A slow weekend. Looking forward to it. House chores to get started. Groceries. R&R.

     

     


    Dogs Family Feelings Fourth Phase Friends Health Hermitage Reimagine. Reconstruct. Reenchant. Shadow Mountain Writing

  • A fascinating time to be alive

    Posted on by Charles Comment

    Samain and the Holimonth Moon

    Thursday gratefuls: Dinner with Tom at the Willows last night. Long time friends. Diane. A Mountain Wind. Snow knocked off the Lodgepoles. Snow and Ice on Black Mountain Drive. Advent. Sussex. The Jacquie Lawson advent calendar. Going to bed. Waking up. The Chrysalis Effect by Phillip Slater. CJ Box. Kep, the old dog. US vs. Netherlands. How to become a pagan. Acting class. Nitya. Teaching the Ancient Brothers.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: Holimonth

     

    Acting class has been hit by illness. Tal, the teacher, has the flu or something like it. Nitya, a class member, spent several days in the ICU and is still recovering in the hospital. Not sure what will happen. Tal wants to hold a class on Friday, but I’m reluctant to go given the recency of his bout with the flu. A tough wind down for what has been an interesting and challenging experience.

    I was ready. I’d gotten both monologues memorized and somewhat polished. I knew all the lines in my two scenes. Not wasted work. Good work. Helps the brain. Adds some literature to the bank.

    Tomorrow morning I present in the Creativity class. Think I’m going to do my How to become a pagan piece. Wrote it yesterday. Gotta see how long it is when spoken. Going to lean into writing and art over the winter as I said yesterday. This was a start.

     

    High Wind warning today. The Lodgepoles have begun to sway. Dancing with each other as Sunlight makes their tops glow. I haven’t written about it but the Mountains and their Trees and Wild Neighbors? I would have missed them. A lot. Couldn’t imagine being in a city environment where no Pine Trees framed the Nighttime Stars. Will not trade this beauty for a place with less. Hawai’i matches the Mountains with its Oceans and old Volcanic Mountains, its rich fauna. Someday. But right now. This wonderful place is home.

     

    The world. Russia looking like a blind Bear in the Ukraine. Wrecking the place, striking out wildly. China finding that suppression and repression have their limits. Even with a newly anointed dear leader. The US struggling with divisions at home and new fractures among European allies. Not a great time to be a world power.

     

    It is however a fascinating time to be alive. Talks of a moon base. Be still my John Carter, Flash Gordon little boy heart. The James Webb showing us more and more of the universe in which we live and move and have our becoming. A world shifting its long term basic rules. Climate change accelerating. Women growing in power. China and Russia and the upstart USA. All in flux.

    Glad to have these years as my last ones.


    Acting Great Wheel Hawai'i Hermitage Politics Shadow Mountain The Move US History Weather +Climate World History Writing

  • Thanksgiving

    Posted on by Charles Comment

    Samain and the Holimonth Moon

    Friday gratefuls: Tom. Mary Jane. Jen. Barb. Gabe. Ruth. Green bean casserole. Sweet potatoes and marshmallows. Tenderloin. Sugar cream pie. Thanksgiving. A gathering of the grateful. The Ancient Brothers. Books: 1001 Arabian Nights. Poems: Notes Toward a Supreme Fiction. Movies: Spirited Away. My sustaining friend, Shadow Mountain. Alan. The Warrior Nun. The new P.E.T. scan. Urology Associates. Prostate cancer care.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: Kep. Or. he who sleeps most.

     

    Up early (5 am) to get Thanksgiving underway. As in many households across the land. First thing I did? Build a fire. I rarely have a fire but it made the day feel like a holiday. Right away. With those fast burning chunks of pine afire I fed Kep and right afterward made a sugar cream pie. Though. As I recalled during my nap. Oops. Forgot the butter and the nutmeg. I added both back in, but later than the recipe calls for. Turned out ok. Sort of.

    At noon I got the tenderloin out of the refrigerator. Warming up for the skillet at 2 pm and the oven right after. All in my cast iron pan. Which I love. Jen, Barb, and Gabe came right at 2 with a pumpkin pie, green bean casserole-the traditional kind with canned onion rings-be still my Midwest culinary heart, sweet potatoes with marshmallows, salad, a relish tray, and a box of candy cane coated chocolate. A good feed was had by all.

    We ate in the new dining room, aka The Sewing Room. I mentioned as we began the three empty chairs: Kate, Jon, Ruth. Sadness. But the true nature of family. As one generation hits high school, the other finds the hospital and the funeral home. Gabe’s gotten taller, more lean. Jen’s now working for the school district as a systems support person, one of four for the whole Aurora district. Gabe’s a freshman at Northfield High School where Ruth is now a junior. Barb’s still living in the same senior living building where she’s been for almost ten years albeit in a smaller apartment.

    We had a good conversation over the meal.

    When we finished, we retired to the common room where I got the fire going again. Jen called Ruth. We spoke to her over speaker. She sounded good. I said we missed her and loved her.

    They left around 6:15 and I cleaned up. A quick process with the dishwasher. Settled into rest after a long day.

    Hope each of you who read this had a wonderful and warm Thanksgiving.


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  • When will we ever learn?

    Posted on by Charles Comment

    Samain and the Decided Moon

    Tuesday gratefuls: Tony’s. That tenderloin roast. Salad. Oh and that sugar cream pie. Diane’s family recipe. King Soopers. The bank. Cash money. In the pocket. Robin. Wrangling my space. Painters. Chilly nights. The mid-terms. Soil. Plants. Rock. Air. Water. Fire. Stars. Artemis I. Exploration. NASA. JPL. The days of our lives. Books. Richard Powers. CJ Box. Immodium. China. Hawai’i. Minnesota. Club Q. Pulse.

    Sparks of Joy and Awe: Good sleep

     

    Colorado Springs. A conservative town. Where hate is fed by so called family values evangelicals. By years of GOP candidates who fed hate into the political blood stream of the city. By the US historical hatred of difference: race, gender, sexual preference.

    The West was won. Sure. By killing the folks who didn’t look like the “pioneers.” And, oh yeah, the West is the original gun culture. Side arms and Remington rifles. No gun control at the OK corral. Or in Tombstone or Deadwood. I happened to be in Denver in 2012 when James Holmes went to an Aurora Theater and killed 12 people watching a late showing of a Batman movie.

    An irony. The day after the Club Q shooting in Colorado Springs Colorado officially renamed Mt. Evans, Mt. Blue Sky. Why? Because Governor John Evans created the circumstances that led to the Sand Creek Massacre, a critical negative juncture in relations between First Nations peoples and the U.S. government.*

    We can treat the Club Q shooting as an expression of Western values, Christian evangelical values, Republican values. As an expression of the perverted, fetishistic worship of the 2nd amendment. As an extension of the pandemic of gun violence which now features four more mass shootings since Club Q: Illinois, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Texas. 600 before Club Q in 2022. (gunviolence.org) 39,567 people have died THIS year due to some form of gun violence.

    Sadly. When will we ever learn?

     

    Yesterday was a busy day. After writing Ancientrails, I waited on Greg Lell to come. He’s going to be my third bid for painting the upstairs. Greg’s guy stained the house a year ago. If his bid is close to the others, I’ll take it since he proved what he can do. He told me 25% of his business comes from showing up when other painting contractors don’t. That’s the Mountains.

    Worked out. Over to the bank to deposit checks, including one from Heatflo covering the cost of my dead water heater. Bought two bundles of firewood for Thanksgiving. Then over to Tony’s to see if I could get my tenderloin roast early. Yes. I could. They tied it up for me, too. I plan to dry brine it this afternoon. Made an experimental sugar cream pie. Pie crust, a deep dish, was too much otherwise. Tasty. While making sure the pie was edible for my Thanksgiving guests, I seem to have upset my digestive tract. Oh, my.

     

    *On November 29, 1864, roughly 700 federal troops attacked a village of 500 Cheyenne and Arapaho on Sand Creek in Colorado. An unprovoked attack on men, women, and children, the massacre at Sand Creek marked a turning point in the relationship between American Indian tribes and the Federal Government. From the day of the attack, US Army actions at Sand Creek have been controversial, because the Cheyenne and Arapaho thought they were at peace with the government and innocent people died. The distrust that grew from what occurred at Sand Creek led to later conflicts at Little Big Horn…” NPS

     

    “Colorado Governor John Evans warns that all peaceful Native Americans in the region must report to the Sand Creek reservation or risk being attacked, creating the conditions that will lead to the Sand Creek Massacre.

    Evans’ offer of sanctuary was at best halfhearted. His primary goal in 1864 was to eliminate all Native American activity in eastern Colorado Territory, an accomplishment he hoped would increase his popularity and eventually win him a U.S. Senate seat. Immediately after ordering the local Native Americans to the reservation, Evans issued a second proclamation that invited white settlers to indiscriminately “kill and destroy all…hostile Indians.” At the same time, Evans began creating a temporary 100-day militia force to wage war on the Native Americans. He placed the new regiment under the command of Colonel John Chivington, another ambitious man who hoped to gain high political office by fighting Native Americans.”  History


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