Things Going On

Mabon                                                                    Elk Rut Moon

Unboxed most of my art yesterday. So good to see the prints, paintings, maps and photographs again. Most have been boxed since about a year ago this time. That’s a long to time to go without seeing old friends. I’ve never been sure of the role art plays in my life, just that it’s a big one.

Over the next week or two we’ll get the garage in shape, moving the last things up into storage spots, making work tables, starting up the freezer. When that’s done, shelving from up here in the loft, no longer needed thanks to the wonderful shelving Jon has put up will have a second, really third, life. I’ll move many of the bankers boxes remaining up here down into the garage.

When they’re down and the wire shelving is up for the ones that will stay, the work up here will be close to done. Jon’s making a top for the art cart and walnut shelving for the lower units, the pull-up bar needs to get hung and I believe I need to put a thick rubber mat under the treadmill. Too much bounce when I hit the 10 second, fast as I can run mark in my workout.

Kate’s thumb surgery is Friday. That means a change in the cooking, grocery shopping detail. One I’m looking forward to. In true third phase fashion we’ll swap caretaking chores. Oddly, my recovery from prostate surgery will have been faster, by a lot, than her thumb procedure. It’s been a medical year so far.

 

The Sixties in 2015

Mabon                                                                                Elk Rut Moon

Drove to the base of Shadow Mountain, maybe 3 miles from home. A small business, Grow Your Own, a hydroponics supplier and winery, sponsors live music certain late afternoons. The Brian Del Mar Band played yesterday. Bryan is to the front left. This is a Yes tribute band so the music was familiar to me only as genre. They did throw in a few others: Beatles, Creedence, but mostly they stuck to Yes. I guess.

The atmosphere was definitely sixties, only sixties in 2015. So lots of gray hair on stage and off. I told Kate it felt like we were living in a distributed assisted living setting. Which, come to think of it, might be a good thing. In spite of the photos I captured of these aging hippies, we were having a good time.

briandelmarband40020150927_153616_001listening400

Quadfecta

Mabon                                                                       Elk Rut Moon

September has seen me accomplish a rare third phase quadfecta. First I drove to Indiana for my 50th high school reunion. After my return I had three appointments: internist, audiologist and urologist. The internist ordered x-rays and gave me my first ever diagnosis of arthritis. The audiologist told me what I already knew, deaf in the left ear and not hearing well out of the right. The urologist told me I was nominally cancer free.

This morning I picked up and am now wearing my new hearing aid. That’s right. Aid. Just one. So far my voice sounds gravely and I’m hearing the computer keyboard clack. No real revelations so far.

So, in less than three weeks cancer vanquished, hearing aid, arthritis and my 50th high school reunion. That’s roaring around the corner into the third phase, pedal to the metal.

Neither the First nor the Last

Mabon                                                                               Elk Rut Moon

 

The bloody supermoon. Saw it last night over Conifer Mountain with Kate. We stood at the end of the driveway, she in tie-dyed t-shirt and a small Hawaiian quilt for a skirt and me trying to make sure I didn’t fall in the ditch. It was, after all, dark. It reminded me of a frigid Minnesota night, a January of long ago, with the Woolly Mammoths at Villa Maria in Frontenac. We went outside to see the lunar eclipse. The air temperature was well below zero, maybe 15 0r 20, and we stood, in the dark, marveling.

When I checked Facebook this morning, I saw many cell-phone shots of the super, bloody moon. They all proved that cell-phones are not a good choice for photographing lunar anything. Too far away. They also proved the old lover’s promise, we’ll be looking at the same moon.

As any reader of this blog can attest, I start with the same two things every post: the Celtic season on the Great Wheel and the current moon. The spiral nature of time is caught by the different seasons of the Celtic year, seasons which recur, and the always changing, yet always the same phases of the moon. This focus helps me stay in context with the natural world, in it and of it.

It also reminds me of a crucial fact. This life will end in death, but death is not the end. It is, like the recurring Celtic seasons and the phases of the moon, a moment in the spiral passage of the human species from yesterday to tomorrow. I am neither the first nor the last, but rather part of a widening gyre that is the cumulative experience of what it means to be human. I contribute my part, then make way for others, just as the blood moon departs to make way for countless more phases.

 

 

 

 

We Share the Mountains

Mabon                                                                Elk Rut Moon

One of the joys of living in the mountains is the unexpected appearance of wildlife. The Lakeshore Cafe, where we go for our business meetings on Sunday morning, sits across Upper Bearcreek Drive from Evergreen Lake. This morning there was a harem of elk with two bulls drinking, swimming in the lake and wandering the marshy area. At our initial pass a multi-point buck was striding across a pedestrian bridge, a picture I wish I could have taken, but traffic behind me prevented it.

When we turned into the Lakeshore’s parking lot, Kate suggested I park and go take some photos. Here are a few:

Bull with water lilyBull and doesBull with water lily2 Bull Elk after swim

Self-ish

Mabon                                                                     Elk Rut Moon

 

I’ve had false dawns on this recent journey, thinking the time was right to get back to writing, to Latin, to dreaming, to acting. A flywheel somewhere in my psyche has pulled me back into the day-to-day, letting the sweep of things carry me along like a piece of driftwood on the tide. I pushed against it a couple of times, trying to will myself into a more productive place. I’ve failed.

Now I’m waiting, trying to flow with the direction of my psyche, following the ancientrail of change without attempting to bend it to my own wishes. It’s hard. Perhaps this is the third phase way, a more Taoist one, one where the day-to-day and our Self’s work can merge, then diverge.

There is no clock. No agenda set by others. (other than doctors) No career mountain to climb. No financial aspirations. Those of us in the third phase and out of the work life can be more open to the currents of our inner life. We do not have to cut and shape our day to meet the demands of second phase goals.

Not all who wander are lost. This Tolkien phrase unintentionally captures the problem. If you wander, the second phase life assumes you are lost. Though there are no second phase norms by which to judge your direction in the third phase, no child raising (hopefully), no boss or vocational directives, no 401k to plump up, our long affiliation with these norms often carries them over into the third phase anyway. It is in this sense that wandering in the third phase can make us seem and feel lost.

Yet I believe that the true norm of the third phase is to wander, to become like a planet to your Self, pulled by the gravitational attractions of its values and its directions. Now is the time, if you have not availed yourself of it earlier, to listen to the voices of your own heart, your own dreams, your own ancientrail. You may think or feel that, because second phase norms require us to chop and curtail our own desires to fit the needs of institutions, workplaces, family that this is selfish.

I say yes, it is. Just so. Self-ish. Always the world would have been better off if you had let your own voices guide you. Why? Because you are the only you this universe will ever see and to shortcut your development for what others want is to deny the universe your particular gifts. Now is the chance to give expression to that you hidden by the often crushing world of family and career. Now is the time to become the person the universe needs. You.

 

The Loft

Mabon                                                              Elk Rut Moon

All the books are off the floor and shelved. Not finally organized, but shelved! My crude tool, measuring the height of stacks, was accurate. I have some empty shelving, but some is always needed. The art will now come out of the boxes and from the house to be hung.

A large number of bankers boxes that contain research for various projects and manuscripts, notes and other material for all my novels, my go downstairs into the garage for storage. The final configuration of the loft, where the reading area will be, where my computer and desk will sit, is not finally determined, but will be in the next week or so.

Jon has the walnut lumber we bought at Paxton’s and has begun to turn it into cabinet tops for the low shelving. Walnut and birch should be beautiful together. He’s also creating a top for my art cart/research table.

This space reflects my Self, my soul, if you will. It feels as if I enter a spacious version of my mind when I come up here. Kate saw this in her mind’s eye when she first saw this place on Shadow Mountain. Now it’s becoming a reality.

Returning to Ordinary Time?

Mabon                                                                     Elk Rut Moon

Today may be the end of cancer season, at least for a while, if not permanently. I have my ultra-sensitive PSA back and it came in at .015. The standard after a prostatectomy is .2 PSA antigens to declare a patient cancer free. At my appointment today, the last scheduled one after the July 8th surgery, we’ll discuss this finding and any further steps.

There are still sequelae. I’m not done with returning my continence to normal. I mention this not to make you squeamish dear reader, but as a service to anyone reading this as they consider their options for prostate cancer. I’m mostly ok, but stress incontinence is still an issue.

Cancer season, if this is the day I’m declared cancer free, will have run from April 14th to September 25. Six and a half months. Still feels brief, almost unreal. Definitely surreal. The Roman Catholic liturgical calendar refers to the bulk of the year, that not occupied with religious holidays, as ordinary time. I want to return to ordinary time. Perhaps that will happen today.

A Mountain Autumnal Equinox 2015

Mabon                                                                     Elk Rut Moon

We are deep into a short and subtle season, the mountain fall. Today’s equinox, the autumnal, is not so relevant here on Shadow Mountain as the second harvest holiday. It finds no fields of corn, wheat, beans ready for reaping.

This does not mean Mabon, the pagan season between Lughnasa and Samhain, the other two harvest holidays, is not distinctive. Hardly. The early signal, as it is everywhere in temperate latitudes, is the changing of the sun’s angle as it descends from its northern zenith toward its southern nadir reached on the winter solstice. At some point in August, usually mid-August, the change in the sun’s position becomes noticeable and kicks up in memory high school football, back to school, leaves changing color, temperatures cooling. This is a nuanced moment, easily missed if life is too busy.

By Labor Day the new season accelerates with the temperatures actually cooler, back to school ads in the Sunday paper and, here in the mountains, the first brief flashes of gold. But the colors never broaden their palette. The fall signal is gold amongst the green. Right here on Conifer, Black and Shadow Mountains, the mountains we see everyday, the aspen groves are small and convert only patches of mountainside, but the effect is startling. What have been all summer ziggurats of green, uniform up and down, now are decorated like Christmas trees, one of those flocked trees with only gold ornaments.

The meadows tucked into canyons and valleys are a beautiful straw color, topped sometimes with a reddish furze. The season of desiccation, ignored by the dominant lodgepole pines, happens, though its reach is not nearly total, as it mostly is in the deciduous forest lands of the midwest.

The animals. Here the equivalent of the blazing colors of maples and oaks is the elk rut. Architectural wonders, the horns of mature bull elks, wander the mountains perched atop their owners, looking for does. Combat is an ancient, ancient sport here. And, like the medieval tournaments, it is for the hand of the lady. If they had them, the does would probably hand out colorful handkerchiefs and scarves for the bulls to carry into battle.

The mule deer shed their velvet in October, so during the elk rut, most of it, they still carry the moist, blood-rich covering that feeds antler growth.

Black bears are in the midst of a caloric imperative, their large bodies demanding upwards of 20,000 calories a day to insure they survive hibernation. That means constant searching for food and any disruption in their usual fall supplies of berries and nuts and honey finds them trolling residential areas in the Front Range or down into the Denver metro area. So another sign of fall are the reports of bear home and vehicle invasions.

Breathless anticipation of snow also begins to dominate the news. A couple of inches in Rocky Mountain National Park last week got several photographs on Open Snow, a forecast website devoted solely to snow and, in particular, snow where it can be skied.

Winter does not loom as the incipient oppressor as it does in Minnesota. It’s foreseen with anticipation, like the holidays. Winter is a fourth outdoor season here. An often repeated quote, an advertising slogan probably, is this: There’s no such thing as bad weather, only bad gear.

So fall in the mountains is not the climactic end to a long growing season. No filled silos or grain elevators. Instead it is the time between the heat and flourishing of summer and the cold, snowy time occupied by hibernation on the one hand and bombing down the mountains on the other.