Whispering Wind Designs

Spring                                                                                Maiden Moon

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERADrove to Golden today to meet Jerry of Whispering Wind Designs. He had my birthday present finished and we agreed to meet at the Golden Diner for breakfast. Jerry has the whitest teeth I’ve ever seen on a guy. Movie star twinkly. With his weathered face from years as an airplane mechanic and his long gray hair swept back into a ponytail the teeth and his direct gaze gave him an intensity I had not expected.

His work shows a craftsman’s attention to detail. The legs on the table, for example, are made from four pieces of knotless beetle killed pine, then fitted together with tongue and groove joinery. The surface, coated with an industrial quality sealant, retains the slightly wavy grain of the bluish wood, a color given by the progress of the beetle as it kills the tree, and the ends have a curved piece of pine joined to the main body of the table.

Supporting craftspersons and artists means there will be a next generation of makers. When I can, I prefer to buy this kind of product. He’s going to give us a bid on benches and a table plus four chairs for our dining area.

 

One Year Ago

Spring                                                                                   Maiden Moon

Had blood drawn yesterday for my third post surgery PSA. Right now they come every quarter, routine surveillance. The first two have showed .015 which is the clinical equivalent of none. Since the results have followed the best hoped for pattern, I’m experiencing no anxiety about them.

Today is my second annual physical with Dr. Lisa Gidday. This physical revisits a key moment from cancer season. The start of the season. It was last year at my first physical in Colorado when Dr. Gidday found a suspicious hardness in my prostate. I count cancer season as having begun with that physical on April 14th and ending in late September with my first follow up PSA.

It was a short time compared to my image of what cancer is typically like. It went: initial suspicion, see urologist who confirmed Gidday’s finding, biopsy, diagnosis, decision on treatment, surgery, recovery, first PSA after surgery. All this in six months.

There is the question of a cure. Does this mean I have no more prostate cancer? Did the end of cancer season mean the end of the cancer threat? No, it does not. Things look good, very good, but the clinical reality is that a few cancerous prostate cells could have escaped and are dormant right now. My gut says no, that is not the case. I feel rid of the traitorous bastards.

In fact, I feel very healthy right now. Yes, I have this damned knee, lower back and shoulder, but they’re nuisance level. Yes, I have chronic kidney disease, but it seems stable. In fact the numbers that gauge its severity actually improved in my last blood work done in October. Yes, I have insomnia, but it’s just one of those damned things.

My point here is that aging means an accumulation (for most of us) of chronic conditions. We can choose to focus on those as ongoing problems, become obsessive about them and drown ourselves in anxiety or we can recognize their inevitability and, if not embrace them, at least accept them with grace. Most of the time.

The anxiety is unnecessary. That is the point of Yama, the Tibetan deity. To worship Yama we envision our own death, see it coming, embrace its part in our story. When we can truly accept the reality of our own death, anxiety about what may deliver it to us becomes redundant. We may not know the particulars, but we do know the outcome of our life. It’s the same for all of us.

 

Gratitude

Spring                                                                           Maiden Moon

20160321_110457Kate. Such a sweety. She wanted to thank the Sano staff for the good care they took of Vega: a lasagna with a great ragu sauce, a lasagna with mushrooms, a pecan pie and a tomato/mozzarella salad. We took all this over at 12:30 yesterday for their 1 p.m lunch hour. Looked like the work of a pro-caterer.

The big attraction though was Vega. When I brought her in, she slumped down, tried to be small. No more poking or cutting or needles or things, please. Then all the Sano staff gathered around her, petted her, cooed over her and she brightened up, smiled. Georgia, a vet tech, said, “Well. It was all worth it.”

And it has been. Last night as I got on the treadmill for my evening workout I looked out the loft window to the north, a good view of our backyard. There was Vega, her tail held high, hopping through the deep snow, on her own mission. The sight moved me to tears. Yes, it was all worth it.

Beast

Spring                                                                     Maiden Moon

beast inFinished a 2010 book, The Beast in the Garden, today.  By David Baron, an NPR reporter, Beast examines the changing nature of the wildlife/human interface especially through an examination of mountain lion activity in and around Boulder, Colorado in the late 1980’s into the mid-1990’s.

Baron did an exhaustive amount of work.  He recreates the time period in which Boulder’s love for nature and its actions to both create and preserve a natural setting resulted in tragedy and conflict. After several years of encouraging wildlife into the city through tolerance, rings of urban parks and conservation of land outside its limits but contiguous, Boulder had an irruption of deer. An irruption is, as Baron says, very similar in meaning to its volcanic homonym.

There’s a saying here on Shadow Mountain, “If you have deer, you have mountain lions.” That proved true in Boulder. The problem was, that since the elimination of the wolf, mountain lions no longer had any predator of their own and had become desensitized to their ancient foe: the canid. No longer did just any dog barking drive away mountain lions. That meant the lions could follow their main food source, deer, into human inhabited areas where they could encounter dogs.

Some cougars began to hunt dogs. The combination of hunting deer, their ancient and still most frequent prey, and dogs, kept as pets and therefore nearby human’s daily life, led to certain cougars becoming habituated to humans. Habituation involves suppression of the once instinctive fear of humans engendered by early farmers and ranchers near extermination of the species. Once that fear is suppressed humans are bipedal potential sources of dinner. Dogs were eaten. Cougars lounged in people’s backyards. A few attacks occurred. Then, a couple of deaths. This book tells that story.

 

Still Pondering

Spring                                                                               Maiden Moon

New thoughts about old problems. My mind spins all day long, doesn’t stop at night. When I wake up, it’s not always monkey mind. Sometimes it’s just the one that wonders about reimagining faith, about what to do next in Jennie’s Dead or Superior Wolf, about the peculiar nature of this year’s primary season, about the nature of reality and life. Seems natural when I think about it this way, an extension into the night by what occupies me during the day. Of course, I still need sleep. But I get it in chunks rather than in a smooth 8 hours.

The friend problem. New information about friendship suggests that those of us who work on our own, on projects that matter to us-a lot-and especially those of us who work on creative or intellectual projects are happiest seeing friends occasionally. Most folks it seems are happiest when they see their friends often. I’ve always struggled with this idea, that I should have more friends, get out more, do more things with other people, but I’ve always gravitated to the quiet, the alone, the private.

In part this is because I am an introvert and I need private, quiet time to recharge and, conversely, find time with others enjoyable, but draining, not energizing. But, I’m also an introvert who has had, for as long as I can recall, various projects important to my own journey. Sometimes it was reading certain authors, other times researching topics like the Midwest, climate change, the Renaissance, the Enlightenment, Modernism, art history. More recently, the last 25 years or so, I’ve had specific creative projects: novels, essays, presentations for UU churches and two nonfiction works. The first non-fiction project, which is still in me, somewhere, was an ecological history of Lake Superior. The second, Reimagining Faith, remains active.

 

In retrospect I can see that the Woollies and the docents met my needs almost perfectly. I got to know others-in the case of the Woollies, deeply, and in the case of the docents, well. In both instances there were regular times for meeting, first and third Mondays with the Woollies plus an annual retreat and in the case of the docents, my touring day. Having these regular opportunities were just right for me.

Now that I’m here in Colorado, though I don’t have those regular opportunities, I still have the relationships, the friendships, from those times. So I need to make opportunities to nurture those relationships. And I have been doing that.

What I’m trying to say here is that I no longer feel less than because I’m not seeking new friends here. As I said yesterday, I imagine I’ll find some, at some point. But the bigger point is that I feel fine, happy, content as I am, at work and engaged with Kate, the dogs, family and those fine friends still in Minnesota.

 

Anchored

Spring                                                                                     Maiden Moon

Spoke by Skype with Bill Schmidt and Scott Simpson today. No reason, just catch up. It was good.

Friends. I don’t make friends easily and the almost 30 years of Woolly relationships and the 12 years for my docent friends will not be repeatable here. I’m making my peace with that, too. As long as my docent and Woolly friends will connect with me, I plan to maintain the relationships. There is an easiness, a knowingness, an intimacy that has taken years to develop with these folks.

Also, my work occupies my time, not in an escapist way, but in a fulfilling way. That’s why I don’t feel lonely here. Kate, the work, the dogs, family, casual relationships are plenty for now. And may be enough for the long haul. Even so, I imagine I will find new friends here at some point, but if I don’t, that’s ok, too.

In other words, I am flourishing as an intellectual and creative worker, lodged in a beautiful place, with family and canine companionship. I’m happy as well. A hard combination to beat.

 

 

Good Weather, Bad Weather

Spring                                                                            Maiden Moon

Exercised last night for the first time after the cortisone injection. Much better, not twinge free, but almost. This is hopeful to me, suggesting I may have, at least for a while, a means of calming the arthritis in my knee. Until it was gone, I didn’t realize how much pain and discomfort my knee had caused in my whole leg. Better living through chemicals.

There are different metrics everywhere for what constitutes good and bad weather. More snow on the way today here and more in the forecast for next week. All this is good news for the snowpack and for wildfire suppression, at least for now.  Even the dreaded hurricane has good news, too. It serves an important meteorological function, distributing fresh water over large swaths of land. I’ve not see a positive remark about tornadoes and having lived around them for a third of my life I can’t come up with one on my own. Drought seems to be like tornadoes. No good word for excessive dryness. The monsoons and their torrential rains are seen as a blessing in India.

Heavy snow in Colorado is usually a good thing, even if it causes traffic snarls and power outages. In Minnesota really heavy snow could be an inconvenience for a long time.

If the worst should come to pass, and I’m convinced it won’t, and Trump or Cruz becomes president, going to Canada or elsewhere won’t be a real option. Either of these guys would need to be fought and those of us with time and inclination will be needed. I still see no reason to doubt that Trump will get the Republican nomination-and break the party as he does-and Hillary will both get the Democratic nomination and win the presidency. Still.

Making Our Peace With Wildfires

Spring                                                                              Maiden Moon

Figured out yesterday how to use Amazon’s Unlimited Photo cloud service. It comes free with Prime. Because I put so many images in my blog, I have an unusually large number filed away for future use. I began the uploading of the photos yesterday and the service is about 2/3’rds done this morning. It will finish sometime today.

Then, I sat down and learned how to use Dropbox. It’s free storage, about 2GB, is plenty for my novels, short stories, essays. I started copying files there yesterday, too. It will take a little time, but once I’m done, I’ll just have to update whatever current work I’m doing.

These two are in anticipation of a possible wildfire. No need to lose your work these days.

Today I’m going to work on putting together our emergency kit which will include the memory card which has the photographs of all our stuff. In there will also go insurance policies, titles, deed and manuals for various things since they will testify to exactly what we own. Our estate documents and our living wills. That sort of thing.

After a year of trying to put together an external sprinkler system, I’ve decided to not pursue it. Why? Well, for one thing nobody here builds the kind of simple system I want. I’ve investigated all the possible vendors in the state. That would mean I’d have to work with somebody who didn’t know what they were doing. Which would make two of us.

Perhaps even more to the point, I read an article by a wildfire expert who said that if you follow the firewise zone recommendations, which I am, that most houses will survive a fire. The deputy chief of the Elk Creek Fire district said that our house was well situated to survive a fire, in large part because we have a short, level driveway on a primary road, Black Mountain Drive. The perception of the fire department is important because during a fire they drive through the area and in essence do triage. These homes will be ok on their own. These can survive if we protect them. These homes will burn. You want to be in the first two categories. And we are no matter the sort of fire.

ECFD LOGO

Also, I decided to make my peace with losing our house and garage. After I finish the fire mitigation work, taking down trees and making sure we have a our zone free of combustibles around the house, I’m going to rely on luck and the Elk Creek Fire Protection District. Should that not prove enough and we lose everything except our lives and the lives of our dogs, we’ll build again. What could be safer than an area that’s already burned out?

It felt freeing to come to this decision. Both Kate and I agreed that losing our stuff would be very, very far from a cataclysm. We could rebuild an energy efficient house suited to our needs.

All part of settling in.

 

OMG!

Spring                                                                                     Maiden Moon

Blew the driveway twice in the same day for the first time this winter. Not sure how much snow we got, but the water content is very high. A good thing. Maybe 1 foot, maybe a bit less. (between 16 & 20 inches, actually) Knee held up through both times. Good sign, I think.

Head spinning as I read political news. Jeb Bush endorses Ted Cruz. Apparently some young shrub in Texas may be the next hedge hope for the White House and he’ll need Cruzian support. Cruz himself wants a police guard on Muslim neighborhoods in the U.S. Trump would close our borders until we got things sorted out. Like watching a building demolition in slow motion, seeing the Republican party try to make sense of the mess they have wrought.