Category Archives: Judaism

Judaism, Politics, US History, World History

This Damned War

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Mabon and the Harvest Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Shadow. Cool nights. Tomatoes. Beets. Carrots. CBE men’s group. Irv. Jim. Joe. Jamie. Lawyer. Jamie’s sabbatical. Football. Soccer. Basketball. Baseball. F1. Boiler. Mini-splits. Dog food. Dog treats. New York Times. Minneapolis Star-Tribune. Talmud. Torah. Alan. Cheri. Francesca. Tom.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Conversation

Life Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Yesod. Foundation. Groundedness. Tenth sefirot. The link between this world and the world of sacred becoming.

Tarot: Paused

One brief shining: Her curled up softness on the bed, sleeping like a young child, breathing slowly, I reach over and touch her lightly, not enough to wake her, but enough to say I love you to her dream world. My Shadow.

 

Israel: Talk about complicated. I mean, geez. This beacon of hope for a post-holocaust diaspora. The Nakba. A thriving techno state filled with agriculture, the ancient sites of Christianity and Islam as well as their mother, Judaism. A military powerhouse, who doesn’t know about the IDF: the Israeli Defense Force. A land of Jews surrounded by Arabs who would like to push them out: from the river to the sea.

Beloved of American Jewry. A strong, very strong lobby in D.C. A place where aliyah makes real the promise of escape to a safe space. A wonder considering years of pogroms, inquisitions, ghettoes, anti-Semitism.

Then, bam! October 7th. Hamas. Murderous. Rapist. Hostages. Embarrassing for this mighty mite with Mossad, IDF stationed nearby. The world onside. Terrorists. Shooting up a music festival. Go after them! You have the right to strike back.

Then. Bombs. Bombs. Bombs. Homes, hospitals, places of business. Trying to kill Hamas, a well-tunneled enemy, hiding in Mother Earth and, shamefully, within the wretched of the Earth, the Palestinian citizens of Gaza.

OK. Surely that’s enough. How many thousands dead? Non-combatants. Civilians. Mothers and children. You’ve made your point. But Israel didn’t, hasn’t stopped. Kill Hamas. Total destruction of an enemy. The war aim. When the war itself ensures more and more recruits for the enemy. Which will never die because it’s an idea, a no to the dreams of 1949. A no to Jewish safety. A no to the perceived oppressor. One man’s revolutionary is another man’s terrorist.

How will it end? IDK. Maybe the Burger King will pull off a win. I hope so. Yes, even though… Hell, give him the damned prize. If only he can stop the slaughter and start the inner journey of a post-war Israel. A journey that must reckon with blood lust, with the responsibility of great power, with the irony of becoming the Cossack, the Nazi. Killing without remorse. Most difficult. With the reality that Netanyahu extended the war, the death and destruction, to avoid criminal prosecution. And nobody stopped him.

Yet. I still want to visit Israel. Which the war prevented. To see the Wailing Wall. The old city. The Arab quarter. Restaurants catering to meat and not dairy or dairy not meat. To have an Israeli breakfast. See Masada. The Sea of Galilee. Bethlehem. Gethsemane. The kibbutz. Megiddo.

Oh Israel. So much sorrow.

 

Far Right, Health, Holidays, Judaism, New Apostolic Reformation, Politics, Shabbat, US History

Kinetic, Joyful, Earth and Human Focused

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Mabon and the Harvest Moon

Shabbat gratefuls: Shabbat. Israel. Gaza. Palestinians. A Palestinian state. Hafar. Osan. Melbourne. Conifer. Longmont. Denver. Family. Cold frames. Artemis. Almost finished. Shadow. Kate, always Kate. Travel. Maybe possible. Neck brace. Lidocaine. Dr. Vu. Mountain View Pain Center. Kylie. Evergreen Orthotics. Handicap placard. Alan.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Nathan

Life Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Yesod. Foundation. Groundedness. Tenth sefirot. The link between this world and the world of sacred becoming.

Tarot: paused

One brief shining: Two days out from my last lidocaine injections and still feeling some relief, really, a lot of relief, relief that has made a certain part of me awaken, the active ready-to-go person who can get things done without wincing, wakes up without caution, who might even dance if he ever had.

 

Sukkot*: Begins on Monday. The Jewish Mabon and Samain. A festival of ingathering, of the harvest. The sukkahs represent not only the temporary dwellings in the wilderness, but also the temporary dwellings farmers would erect so they could work in the fields until the harvest was complete.

The lulav:** The lulav (with three species) is held in the right hand and the ertrog in the left. A blessing for the harvest and for rain is implied as the lulav gets waved through all four directions plus up and down.

Sukkot is a joyous holiday with meals in the Sukkah. At CBE we often study in the Sukkah.

My delight with Judaism begins on Sukkot, an ancient harvest holiday of celebration for Mother Earth’s bounty, of family and friends, of farming.

After Sukkot comes Simchat Torah, dancing with the Torah as one year’s reading ends with the burial of Moses and the next year’s begins with Bereshit, or Beginnings: Genesis. Both of these holidays are kinetic, joyful, earth and human focused. And old. I love the fact that these traditions have been observed for thousands of years.

See you in the sukkah.

 

Just a moment: From joy and delight to anger and disgust. I can feel the moment. The moment, now, when enough of us say enough of this miserable son-of-a-bitch who lies, seeks vengeance, grabs wealth for himself and his oligarchic posse, destroys our nation by ignoring democratic norms, blessing white supremacy and a militant far right, including Christians of the New Apostolic Reformation, all while displaying the moral sensibilities of a rutting boar(bore).

Can you tell I don’t like him?

Still no reply to my e-mail to the President of Ball State. Connecting with David Letterman has proven a challenge-a well-guarded celebrity-but I’m still on it.

When we have any personal linkage to the Burger King’s awful choices, we need to use that leverage to oppose him. Today and until 2028. God. That’s a long, long time.

  • *Agricultural: It is an autumn harvest festival, also called Chag HaAsif (“Festival of the Ingathering”). It is a time for expressing gratitude for the bounty of the earth and the final crops gathered before winter. 
  •  Historical: The holiday commemorates the 40 years the Israelites spent wandering in the desert after the Exodus from Egypt, living in temporary shelters. Building and dwelling in a sukkah recalls the miraculous protection that God provided during that time.

**Lulav ([lu’lav]; Hebrew: לוּלָב‎) is a closed frond of the date palm tree. It is one of the Four Species used during the Jewish holiday of Sukkot. The other Species are the hadass (myrtle), aravah (willow), and etrog (citron). When bound together, the lulav, hadass, and aravah are commonly referred to as “the lulav”.

Friends, Judaism, Politics

Ready for your spot at Alligator Alcatraz?

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Mabon and the Harvest Moon

Friday gratefuls: Veronica. On her way to Brooklyn. Nono’s. Catfish Po’ Boy. Barbecued Shrimp. Shadow’s patience. Ruby. Fiction. Non-fiction. Money. The rollover. My pension. Social Security. An I-Bond. Vanguard stock and savings. Home equity. Enough. More than enough. Adolescence. The Netflix series. Iron Flame.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Joanne

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah:  Yirah.  Awe and wonder.

Tarot: #4, The Lord (reversed) Druid Craft       Abuse of power: A person in authority is acting tyrannically, enforcing rules without logic or compassion, and refusing to listen to others.

One brief shining: Abuse of power thy name need not be spoken for your actions and your words reveal what a small man with great power can do to wreck history, destroy alliances, oppress the poor, ruin a nation, and bring shame to its citizens.

 

Friends: “We’ll always have the mikveh,” I said to Veronica as we hugged one last time after our dinner at Nono’s, a New Orleans style restaurant. She came back a week or so from a month and 700 miles on the Pacific Crest Trail, hiking alone.

She told me she’s moving to Brooklyn on October 4th. Surprised me. “I’ll miss you!” “I’ll miss you, too!” In the way of today’s labor force for some, she’s arranged to do her work at Lockheed-Martin remotely from a Brooklyn one-bedroom apartment that formerly belonged to her brother, who died in March.

She has her second mom, cousins, aunts and uncles nearby. She’s returning home. Family draws us from place to place.

Joanne called me yesterday, wondering how I’m doing. I haven’t seen her in a couple of months. We talked for a while. She sang me songs, satirical ones that she makes up. Her birthday on Wednesday was number 93.

Last year I drove up to the Bistro as she climbed off Rabbi Jamie’s motorcycle, removing her helmet just like a biker chick. That was just before our celebration for her 92nd. She’s an amazing, talented, funny friend.

 

Just a moment: Nothing quite like using the U.S. Justice Department as your Bond villain vengeance instrument. My mouth cannot gape any further or I will dislocate my jaw.

I thought the U.N. speech was, well, a certain nadir. But, no. Always one rung lower on the step ladder to Hell for the Burger King. Much more than his politics, if he has any, I find this juvenile desire to punish perceived enemies as repugnant. What was it Jesus said? You know, the one about enemies.

He and the gang that can’t shoot straight have put this once respected and mighty country, not so long ago the world hegemon, through a shredder leaving us with only strips of our dignity, self-respect, and world reputation.

Send us your huddled masses yearning to be free and we’ll give them a free plane ticket to the South Sudan. Been a long term, loyal U.S. ally? Here’s your new tariff.

We used to be real live nephews of our Uncle Sam. Now? We’re the red-headed step cousin ready for our spot at Alligator Alcatraz.

 

Aging, Family, Far Right, Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Holidays, Judaism, Politics

Teshuva

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Mabon and the Harvest Moon

Tuesday gratefuls: Shadow’s regression. Her sweetness. Cool, Rainy, Dark morning. Rosh Hashanah. L’shana Tova. The beauty of Shadow. Rain. Sweet Tomatoes. Great workout yesterday. Working out. Prolia. Bone health. Tramadol and acetaminophen. Yum. Beavers, nature’s engineers. Lodgepoles. Aspen gold. A Mountain Fall well underway.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: The Fourth Wing

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Yirah. Awe and Wonder

Tarot: #17, The Star

  • Connection to intuition: The imagery encourages listening to your inner guidance. In the Druid Craft deck, this is an act of “coming home to yourself” and being true to your core essence.
  • Renewed purpose: This card can signal a deep spiritual awakening or a renewed sense of purpose. It reminds you that you are connected to the greater cosmic and natural world. 

One brief shining: Rain has pelted down overnight, the Air cool and moist, temperature in Artemis down to 55, outside the comfort range for Tomato ripening, the Rain though, the Monsoons, have given us surcease from Fire, made the Mountain Meadows and Lodgepole covered slopes green, and given the Aspens reason to respond to its Midas touch.

 

Tarot and Rosh Hashanah: Teshuva, often translated as repentance, is the main point of the Jewish new year. We greet the new year with a soul refreshed and cleansed. I prefer the word return as its translation.

In that sense of teshuva the major arcana of the Star correlates well: “an act of “coming home to yourself” and being true to your core essence.” When we perform teshuva, we return, as one sage put it, to the landscape of our soul. To do that we have to clear away the schmutz, accretions to our self that block our nefesh soul from shining through.

Nefesh, buddha nature, true self. Who you are as an extension of the sacred. Your core essence. I love that the Star showed up for me on the 1st day of Rosh Hashanah.

I’m coming to believe that my life as I live it now is my core essence. Time with family and friends. Intentional conversations each week with those I love. Seeing the ancient friends on Sunday morning. Reading. Studying. Playing with Shadow. Co-creating with Great Sol, the soil, and Artemis. Living in the Mountains. Living a Jewish life through mussar, the men’s group, Talmud Torah, saying the Shema, touching the mezuzahs, celebrating holidays. Also through my many friendships at CBE. Writing Ancientrails. My ancientrail.

In other words my teshuva snaps me back to this Shadow Mountain life. One lived with kavannah, intention, connected to the past, alive to the present, accepting of the future. A good feeling and one on target for this 5786th Rosh Hashanah.

 

Just a moment: We need to call out red tie guy’s lies. At every opportunity. No tip toeing around this Burger King tyrant. Kick him in the shins each he says crime is out of control. Each time he says stealing money from the poor to give to the rich will make America great. Each time he demeans transgender folks. Each he claims the insurrection was a peaceful protest.

No Kings. October 18th.

The left Reverend Dr. Israel Herme Harari

Ancient Brothers, Colorado, Friends, Holidays, Judaism, Mountains, Park County, Photography, The West, Wild Neighbors
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Erev Mabon and the Harvest Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Shadow, my sweet girl. Kate, always Kate. Ruth and Gabe. The gathering darkness. The Siddur for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, the Machzor. Nylabone. Kongs. Artemis, ripening Tomatoes. First salad soon. Talmud Torah. Red tie guy. Burger King. His paper crown. Ruby. The boiler. The mini-splits. The Fireplace. All ready for fall. And, winter.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Aspen gold on Black Mountain

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah:  Yirah. Awe and Reverence

Tarot: King of Pentacles, reversed (Druid Craft)  It indicates a need to loosen up and take responsible risks to grow.  Gemini

One brief shining: Plucking ripe Cherry Tomatoes, taking in the Plant’s earthy, acidic perfume, popping them into my mouth, tasting the sweetness no store bought Tomato can deliver makes the expense and fuss of Artemis more than worthwhile, it makes it an ordinary miracle.

 

Judaism: The Siddur, order of service for the High Holidays- Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur-weighs in at 1200 plus pages of prayers, psalms, poetry, Torah, blessings, and much more. The first written service siddurs came into existence in the 9th century, but it took the invention of the printing press to accelerate their use in most synagogues.

We studied a parsha from Deuteronomy used on Yom Kippur and a major prayer, the Amidah, yesterday morning at the bagel table. Rabbi Jamie, Ginny, Luke, and me.

As I’ve written here before, I’m more of a Sukkot, Simcha Torah, Passover, Shavuot,  sorta Jew. More focused on the strong linkage between earth-focused holidays that celebrate the harvest, Sukkot, or spring planting, like Passover, and the long tradition of their celebration within Jewish communities over thousands of years.

Yet. Modern day Judaism focuses a bright light on the Days of Awe. This year I plan to attend outside services for Rosh Hashanah, possibly Yom Kippur. See what the contemporary focus means. I say possibly for Yom Kippur because its two days coincide with the lidocaine injections for my ablation procedure.

 

A few photographs from the Beaver Dam trip:

 

Family, Far Right, Jefferson County, Memories, Mussar, Politics, US History, White Supremacy

A Culture Dying of Lead Poisoning

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Thursday gratefuls: Teshuva. Accounting of the soul. Shadow on my pillow. Sleeping. 9/11. My son’s decision on account of it. Seoah. Murdoch. Jangs. Singapore. Time with Mary there and in Hawai’i. The anguish of our Middle East actions. Of Israel’s. The Evergreen Shooting. Columbine. Guns. Gun control. Our poor benighted nation. Charlie Kirk.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Tara’s hot tub garden bed

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev. Strength of the heart. A middah I wish for all parents and school children in Evergreen this day.

Tarot: Ten of Cups, (Druid Craft)

  • Domestic Harmony: Suggests a stable, secure, and happy home environment. This card often points to a desire for or achievement of an idyllic country life.
  • Gratitude and Blessings: A call to recognize and appreciate the blessings you have. The cups are a reminder of the rewards that come from love and connection. 

One brief shining: This Shadow Mountain home with its three levels, the guest level and the home office, the main level with Arts and Crafts furniture and lights, the fireplace, the breakfast nook built by Jon, a remodeled kitchen, a pantry, an exercise room, the downstairs level with its oriental rugs, comfy chairs, television, bedroom, and laundry room, Shadow’s food and toys, the fenced in backyard filled with Lodgepoles, Grasses, Groundcovers, Wild Flowers, and now Artemis, a place of memories with Kate, with Vega, Rigel, Gertie, Kepler, with guests over the years, its solar panels, its four car garage and library above, a front with no lawn, more Lodgepoles and Aspens, Kate’s Iris bed and her Lilacs in back has been my refuge, my hermitage, my home of eleven years come this Winter Solstice. Yes to the Ten of Cups.

Oh, my: Gabe and Ruth both sent texts. Gabe: “So today Charlie (Kirk) got shot and killed. And evergreen highschool got shot up. Today is strange.”  Ruth: “One of the things I don’t get is how you can be so set on defending a fetus and its life yet guns are more of a right than life is for students.”

Rabbi Jamie opened our sanctuary to any in town who might need it. Ironically he presented a program last night on teshuva. “While often translated as repentance, its deeper meaning is about taking action to return to one’s true, divine self…” Gemini The Jewish month of Elul, in which we are right now, encourages a time of reflection-of cheshbon nefesh, an accounting of the soul-with the aim of teshuva before Rosh Hashanah.

How can we as a nation, as a culture, return to, as one sage put it, the landscape of our soul? Not just the shooter(s) in the 47 school shootings to date this year (Ruth’s numbers), no, but our  culture dying from lead poisoning.

Where is the landscape in which I grew up? Flawed in many, many ways to be sure, but at least one in which gun owners hunted, did not demand their “second amendment rights” and the only duck and cover was to shield ourselves (ha) from a nuclear explosion.

Dogs, Family, Far Right, Friends, Greenhouse, Health, Mussar, Politics, US History

Demented

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Kavod. Honor. Ruth, up here. Her college days. Work, loans, heavy homework load: Biology, Chemistry, Statistics. Sociology. Gabe, a senior. Warmer. Sadly. Our demented President. Chipocalypse Now. Our frustrated and divided nation. Shadow. The keeper of our safety. Lorikeets and Magpies in Melbourne. Murdoch, aging.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Shadow’s teeth, her front paws

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev. Strength of the heart. The inner strength to move forward.

Tarot: #8, Strength. Reversed (Druid Craft)     The reversed Strength card can appear when you question your own courage and abilities. You may feel a sense of inadequacy or that you are not strong enough to handle a situation. Gemini

One brief shining: Sometimes the Tarot arrows down into the psyche, turning over carefully placed rocks, uncovering hidden fear, masked feelings, and there is the possibility that after my visit to Dr. Buphati, I could be shaken, wondering how to gather my ometz lev for the ancientrail ahead. I read it though as a caution, a yellow flag. Be aware and ready.

 

Dog journal: Put my head on my pillow, drifting, ready to party with Morpheus when, “Grrr.” A low rumble from Shadow’s chest. Then, “Bark.” Muffled. A moment. “Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark.” Something had invaded her territory. Go away. Go away. Get thee hence. Vamoose. In urgent Dog. Right by my ear.

She quieted and I did slip away from the surly bounds of consciousness. Another night of Shadow’s.

 

Artemis: Nathan has two hernias. And a fair amount of work to finish. The cold frames. Lapping the Cedar. Some rubberizing of window spaces and doors. He plans to supervise another carpenter to get Artemis finished, ready for winter.

More and more Tomatoes, mostly still green. Some carrots peeking through. Kale tall and proud. Spinach and Beets, too. I’m having a lot of fun. A dormant part of my life revivified.

 

Family: Ruth came up last night. Needed a change of scenery. And, she missed me. We saw each other on Kate’s birthday, August 18th. Not since then.

She’s maturing so fast. Holding down two jobs. In her first semester of her new, STEM focused major, Integrative Physiology. Talking about cations and anions. Naming molecules. Also looking ten years ahead, all focused on an M.D.

This is still the week of Jon’s yahrzeit, challenging for both her and Gabe. A bit raw. As well she might be. Yet. Living on her own. Managing multiple sources of money. Handling the work of a difficult major. On her own for good now.

 

Friends: Saw Alan for lunch at the new Cow in downtown Evergreen. Passable. He was on his way to a 2:30 curtain call. Annie Gets Her Gun on Center Stage. He shaved his always beard, sacrificing for his art.

 

Just a moment: Chicago will find out why it’s called the Department of War. Jesus. Chipocalypse. I love the smell of deportations in the morning. That loose tether to reality has come unmoored and we’re left with a scared little man who wants to play army with U.S. citizens as the other side. Will no one rid us of this troublesome nut job? Impeach him and be done with him.

Family, Judaism, Shadow Mountain, Talmud

Who is Wise?

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Wednesday gratefuls: Travis and Taylor, sittin’ in a tree. Shadow’s and mine early, early morning. Morning darkness. Natalie. The leash. More and more easy. Slowly. Marilyn and Irv. Salam. Deion. Heidi. Rider. Lilla. Liks. Professor Luke. Chemistry. Metamorphosis. Ovid. Aeschylus. Homer. Virgil. Euripides. Heraclitus. Anaximander. Thales. Rhodes. Delos. Crete. Mykonos.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Philosophy

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah:  Rodef Shalom. The desire to generate well-being for ourselves and others.

Tarot: The Queen of Vessels, Salmon

“The Queen is loving, kind, and nurturing. Her spirit draws on honesty and self-sacrifice to bring joy to others, even in dark situations.”

One brief shining: Salmon, in Celtic lore, swam upstream and rested in clear, deep Pools shaded by Hazel Trees; Hazelnuts would fall into the Pool and the Salmon would eat them, gaining all the wisdom of the world. Whoever ate of this Salmon also gained that wisdom.

 

“Who is wise? Those who learn from every person.” Sage Ben Zoma in the Perkei Avot, The Wisdom of the Fathers.  One of the things I needed to learn from Rabbi Jamie was appreciative inquiry. Coming out of philosophy as a discipline argument was not only expected; it was a blood sport. Take no prisoners, follow the logic wherever it went.

Appreciative inquiry challenges this cut and thrust style by emphasizing that you can learn from anyone (see Zoma), even those with whom you disagree. You might see it as a turn from a toxic masculine need to dominate to an appreciation for the Salmon who gives of herself wholly to gain wisdom.

This was/is a difficult lesson for me. Case in recent point? Conservatism Rediscovered by Yoram Hazony. On my first read I ticked box after box. Wrong. Stupid. Unsupported. Post hoc propter hoc. Mean. Narrow minded.

I’ve reflected that in the critiques I’ve offered so far. And I stand by them and the ones I’ll make over the next few days. However, appreciative inquiry has me pausing, asking myself, what have I learned from Hazony?

OK. I’m struggling here. I disagree with him like I disagreed with Charlie Haislet, a fellow Woolly Mammoth of a conservative turn. When Charlie and I went after each other, it was knives and pistols. Over time I grew to dislike the person in me who showed up in those arguments. Needing, oh so much, to be right. Or, rather, left. A lot of heat. Little light.

Can I approach Hazony in a different spirit? Not giving up a necessary challenge to ideas with which I disagree while saying, oh, good point, that adds to my understanding.

His emphasis on family, for instance. Its centrality in the life of an individual and of the nation. The need for collective action to strengthen and support families. I disagree with his patriarchal, father knows best assumption about families, yet life has shown me that family ties are the first and most basic spot for each of us. That home is a bigger word than we often credit.

If Hazony would only loosen up, he might see that family can have, must have many different valid expressions.

Yet that family is core to the human experience? I’m down with you, Yoram.

 

 

 

Dogs, Great Wheel, Judaism

A New Side of Shadow

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Friday gratefuls: Ric. His heart attack. Mussar. Jamie. Luke, professor Luke. Leo. Rebecca. Ginny. Janice. Janet. Follow the meaning. Listening. Art Green. Shadow and her quest for the treat under the chair. Lodgepoles. Aspens. Grasses. Ground covers. Flowers. Asters. Bluebells. Penstemons. Swallowtails.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Mussar

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Histapkot. Contentment.

Tarot: Ten of Stones, Home

“The inner and outer community that sustains and supports the individual, not necessarily blood family but the trusted friends, comrades, and lovers who offer security and affection.” Parting the Mists

One brief shining: Morning darkness extends later and later as we move toward Mabon, the Fall Equinox, helping the day start cooler and my inner life grows stronger as the days become shorter, shifting from the growing season to harvest, from harvest to the fallow time.

 

Elul. The sixth month of the Jewish year. It starts just past midnight here in the Rocky Mountains. A whole month set aside for cheshbon nefesh or accounting of the soul. We Jews look for relationships we have damaged and ask for forgiveness. A friend whom you became short with? A spouse you gave the silent treatment? A child you criticized harshly? A dog you disciplined because you had a bad day?

Any rupture between you and another. We want to enter Rosh Hashanah, the head of the year, or the New Year, with nothing between us and teshuva. That is, returning to the home place of our soul. This is, by the way, often translated as repentance, but its real meaning lies in becoming the you who you truly and always are.

While cheshbon nefesh may lead us into the so-called High Holidays, the Days of Awe, and its practices may make a lot of sense for cleansing the soul, I’m more, much more, of a Sukkot and Passover and Tu B’shvat Jew. That is, a Jew who follows in the Jewish holiday cycle the turning of the Great Wheel. I imagine Rosh Hashanah covers over an ancient harvest festival. If that were part of its observance, I’d feel more like celebrating it. As it is, meh.

 

Dog journal: Oooh. A new side of Shadow.

We’ve had to strike balances with each other. She comes in at night. I let her out in the early morning. I don’t reach toward her; she comes to me. I go to bed at 7:30 so she can get me up at 4:30 or 5:00. That sort of thing.

One of the hardest for me initially involved leaving the backdoor open. She wanted it. I didn’t. Too cold. Too likely to let in mice.

Likely enough that, as the seasons have rolled toward fall, I’ve put fresh batteries in my ratzappers and placed them in spots not far from the door. Spots I know mice have liked in the past. They’ve been down for a week plus now and no mice. Huh?

Yesterday when Shadow and I were playing her favorite game, where I walk a ways, stop, and when she comes in front of me, I drop a treat behind me, suddenly she was no longer behind me.

Her tail was up and she was running fast. She pounced. Went into the tall Grass. Picked something up and shook it. Flung it into the air. I wondered what it was so I approached.

It was a mouse. A very dead mouse. She picked it up in her mouth and did a fast victory lap around the property. Look what I did! Abandon all hope ye mice who enter here.

 

 

Dogs, Friends, Health, Judaism, Tarot

Tuesday, Tuesday

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Lughnasa and the Korea Moon

Wednesday gratefuls: Shadow, leashed. Sort of. Morning darkness. 40-45 minutes more darkness since the Summer Solstice. Temperate Climates. A feeling of Fall. Natalie. Carol Merz. Paul. Dental hygienist. Luke and the tarot class. Tarot birth cards. Rider-Waite for me: Magician. Wheel of Fortune. Wildwood. The Shaman and the Wheel. The intuitive. The mysterious. Kabbalah.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Luke teaching

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Histapkot. Contentment.

Tarot: Five of Vessels, Ecstasy

“The beat of the universal drum is heard in the soul and it is healthy to surrender for a time and to join the dance. Energy is renewed by bathing in the cosmic life force…”  Parting the Mists

One brief shining: The gradual increase of darkness soothes me, reminds me of the spectacular gold and green of a Rocky Mountain Fall, while also ushering us away from the growing season toward Samain, Holiseason, and that favorite holiday of mine when the soul bathes in the longest night.

 

Yesterday. Talked to buddy Paul. Another call from Carol Merz, the Sloan-Kettering trial psychotherapist. Natalie, the leashing and unleashing of Shadow. My favorite dental hygienist. The last class of Luke’s, The Cards We’re Dealt.

A packed Tuesday. A theme of Paul and mine’s conversation. Persistence. Staying with life, no matter the historical or physiological barriers.

Carol called. Part of the trial for psychotherapy with people over 70 and living with cancer. Helpful, in a modest way. She’s too enthusiastic for my taste. Too attaboy. On the other hand it is good to be reminded of coping strategies.

Natalie came by. An unusual concern. There was a stabbing in Staunton State Park, only 5 minutes from her house. No one was in custody and the description matched a guy who showed up at her house, pressing the doorbell. Ring camera image on her phone.

Her husband had a stroke and can’t walk. A vulnerable adult and she was here on Shadow Mountain. I learned all this at the end of her session. Strange.

We’ve discovered a way to get Shadow on a leash. If she’s in a lap, being cuddled, she doesn’t mind having the leash put on.

I spent 15 minutes walking inside with her leashed. Leaving slack, never pulling her. Letting her get comfortable with the leash. Slowly. Slowly.

Dr. Josy and Natalie have both suggested a second dog. A playmate for Shadow and a role model for how normal dogs behave. I’ve asked them to look for candidates. Today I don’t want a second dog. Maybe I will again tomorrow.

Over to Aspen Dental. Teeth cleaning. Healthy, pale pink gums. No cavities. Lots of laughter. An insurance thang. Grr.

Last session of Luke’s tarot class through Kabbalah Experience. Accomplished its purpose for me. Back into the cards.

After I finish here, I’m going to make a list of cards I pulled during the class. I’ll let you know what if anything I learn from that.