Category Archives: Judaism

Family, Far Right, Jefferson County, Memories, Mussar, Politics, US History, White Supremacy

A Culture Dying of Lead Poisoning

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Thursday gratefuls: Teshuva. Accounting of the soul. Shadow on my pillow. Sleeping. 9/11. My son’s decision on account of it. Seoah. Murdoch. Jangs. Singapore. Time with Mary there and in Hawai’i. The anguish of our Middle East actions. Of Israel’s. The Evergreen Shooting. Columbine. Guns. Gun control. Our poor benighted nation. Charlie Kirk.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Tara’s hot tub garden bed

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev. Strength of the heart. A middah I wish for all parents and school children in Evergreen this day.

Tarot: Ten of Cups, (Druid Craft)

  • Domestic Harmony: Suggests a stable, secure, and happy home environment. This card often points to a desire for or achievement of an idyllic country life.
  • Gratitude and Blessings: A call to recognize and appreciate the blessings you have. The cups are a reminder of the rewards that come from love and connection. 

One brief shining: This Shadow Mountain home with its three levels, the guest level and the home office, the main level with Arts and Crafts furniture and lights, the fireplace, the breakfast nook built by Jon, a remodeled kitchen, a pantry, an exercise room, the downstairs level with its oriental rugs, comfy chairs, television, bedroom, and laundry room, Shadow’s food and toys, the fenced in backyard filled with Lodgepoles, Grasses, Groundcovers, Wild Flowers, and now Artemis, a place of memories with Kate, with Vega, Rigel, Gertie, Kepler, with guests over the years, its solar panels, its four car garage and library above, a front with no lawn, more Lodgepoles and Aspens, Kate’s Iris bed and her Lilacs in back has been my refuge, my hermitage, my home of eleven years come this Winter Solstice. Yes to the Ten of Cups.

Oh, my: Gabe and Ruth both sent texts. Gabe: “So today Charlie (Kirk) got shot and killed. And evergreen highschool got shot up. Today is strange.”  Ruth: “One of the things I don’t get is how you can be so set on defending a fetus and its life yet guns are more of a right than life is for students.”

Rabbi Jamie opened our sanctuary to any in town who might need it. Ironically he presented a program last night on teshuva. “While often translated as repentance, its deeper meaning is about taking action to return to one’s true, divine self…” Gemini The Jewish month of Elul, in which we are right now, encourages a time of reflection-of cheshbon nefesh, an accounting of the soul-with the aim of teshuva before Rosh Hashanah.

How can we as a nation, as a culture, return to, as one sage put it, the landscape of our soul? Not just the shooter(s) in the 47 school shootings to date this year (Ruth’s numbers), no, but our  culture dying from lead poisoning.

Where is the landscape in which I grew up? Flawed in many, many ways to be sure, but at least one in which gun owners hunted, did not demand their “second amendment rights” and the only duck and cover was to shield ourselves (ha) from a nuclear explosion.

Dogs, Family, Far Right, Friends, Greenhouse, Health, Mussar, Politics, US History

Demented

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Kavod. Honor. Ruth, up here. Her college days. Work, loans, heavy homework load: Biology, Chemistry, Statistics. Sociology. Gabe, a senior. Warmer. Sadly. Our demented President. Chipocalypse Now. Our frustrated and divided nation. Shadow. The keeper of our safety. Lorikeets and Magpies in Melbourne. Murdoch, aging.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Shadow’s teeth, her front paws

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Ometz Lev. Strength of the heart. The inner strength to move forward.

Tarot: #8, Strength. Reversed (Druid Craft)     The reversed Strength card can appear when you question your own courage and abilities. You may feel a sense of inadequacy or that you are not strong enough to handle a situation. Gemini

One brief shining: Sometimes the Tarot arrows down into the psyche, turning over carefully placed rocks, uncovering hidden fear, masked feelings, and there is the possibility that after my visit to Dr. Buphati, I could be shaken, wondering how to gather my ometz lev for the ancientrail ahead. I read it though as a caution, a yellow flag. Be aware and ready.

 

Dog journal: Put my head on my pillow, drifting, ready to party with Morpheus when, “Grrr.” A low rumble from Shadow’s chest. Then, “Bark.” Muffled. A moment. “Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark.” Something had invaded her territory. Go away. Go away. Get thee hence. Vamoose. In urgent Dog. Right by my ear.

She quieted and I did slip away from the surly bounds of consciousness. Another night of Shadow’s.

 

Artemis: Nathan has two hernias. And a fair amount of work to finish. The cold frames. Lapping the Cedar. Some rubberizing of window spaces and doors. He plans to supervise another carpenter to get Artemis finished, ready for winter.

More and more Tomatoes, mostly still green. Some carrots peeking through. Kale tall and proud. Spinach and Beets, too. I’m having a lot of fun. A dormant part of my life revivified.

 

Family: Ruth came up last night. Needed a change of scenery. And, she missed me. We saw each other on Kate’s birthday, August 18th. Not since then.

She’s maturing so fast. Holding down two jobs. In her first semester of her new, STEM focused major, Integrative Physiology. Talking about cations and anions. Naming molecules. Also looking ten years ahead, all focused on an M.D.

This is still the week of Jon’s yahrzeit, challenging for both her and Gabe. A bit raw. As well she might be. Yet. Living on her own. Managing multiple sources of money. Handling the work of a difficult major. On her own for good now.

 

Friends: Saw Alan for lunch at the new Cow in downtown Evergreen. Passable. He was on his way to a 2:30 curtain call. Annie Gets Her Gun on Center Stage. He shaved his always beard, sacrificing for his art.

 

Just a moment: Chicago will find out why it’s called the Department of War. Jesus. Chipocalypse. I love the smell of deportations in the morning. That loose tether to reality has come unmoored and we’re left with a scared little man who wants to play army with U.S. citizens as the other side. Will no one rid us of this troublesome nut job? Impeach him and be done with him.

Family, Judaism, Shadow Mountain, Talmud

Who is Wise?

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Wednesday gratefuls: Travis and Taylor, sittin’ in a tree. Shadow’s and mine early, early morning. Morning darkness. Natalie. The leash. More and more easy. Slowly. Marilyn and Irv. Salam. Deion. Heidi. Rider. Lilla. Liks. Professor Luke. Chemistry. Metamorphosis. Ovid. Aeschylus. Homer. Virgil. Euripides. Heraclitus. Anaximander. Thales. Rhodes. Delos. Crete. Mykonos.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Philosophy

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah:  Rodef Shalom. The desire to generate well-being for ourselves and others.

Tarot: The Queen of Vessels, Salmon

“The Queen is loving, kind, and nurturing. Her spirit draws on honesty and self-sacrifice to bring joy to others, even in dark situations.”

One brief shining: Salmon, in Celtic lore, swam upstream and rested in clear, deep Pools shaded by Hazel Trees; Hazelnuts would fall into the Pool and the Salmon would eat them, gaining all the wisdom of the world. Whoever ate of this Salmon also gained that wisdom.

 

“Who is wise? Those who learn from every person.” Sage Ben Zoma in the Perkei Avot, The Wisdom of the Fathers.  One of the things I needed to learn from Rabbi Jamie was appreciative inquiry. Coming out of philosophy as a discipline argument was not only expected; it was a blood sport. Take no prisoners, follow the logic wherever it went.

Appreciative inquiry challenges this cut and thrust style by emphasizing that you can learn from anyone (see Zoma), even those with whom you disagree. You might see it as a turn from a toxic masculine need to dominate to an appreciation for the Salmon who gives of herself wholly to gain wisdom.

This was/is a difficult lesson for me. Case in recent point? Conservatism Rediscovered by Yoram Hazony. On my first read I ticked box after box. Wrong. Stupid. Unsupported. Post hoc propter hoc. Mean. Narrow minded.

I’ve reflected that in the critiques I’ve offered so far. And I stand by them and the ones I’ll make over the next few days. However, appreciative inquiry has me pausing, asking myself, what have I learned from Hazony?

OK. I’m struggling here. I disagree with him like I disagreed with Charlie Haislet, a fellow Woolly Mammoth of a conservative turn. When Charlie and I went after each other, it was knives and pistols. Over time I grew to dislike the person in me who showed up in those arguments. Needing, oh so much, to be right. Or, rather, left. A lot of heat. Little light.

Can I approach Hazony in a different spirit? Not giving up a necessary challenge to ideas with which I disagree while saying, oh, good point, that adds to my understanding.

His emphasis on family, for instance. Its centrality in the life of an individual and of the nation. The need for collective action to strengthen and support families. I disagree with his patriarchal, father knows best assumption about families, yet life has shown me that family ties are the first and most basic spot for each of us. That home is a bigger word than we often credit.

If Hazony would only loosen up, he might see that family can have, must have many different valid expressions.

Yet that family is core to the human experience? I’m down with you, Yoram.

 

 

 

Dogs, Great Wheel, Judaism

A New Side of Shadow

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Lughnasa and the Cheshbon Nefesh Moon

Friday gratefuls: Ric. His heart attack. Mussar. Jamie. Luke, professor Luke. Leo. Rebecca. Ginny. Janice. Janet. Follow the meaning. Listening. Art Green. Shadow and her quest for the treat under the chair. Lodgepoles. Aspens. Grasses. Ground covers. Flowers. Asters. Bluebells. Penstemons. Swallowtails.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Mussar

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Histapkot. Contentment.

Tarot: Ten of Stones, Home

“The inner and outer community that sustains and supports the individual, not necessarily blood family but the trusted friends, comrades, and lovers who offer security and affection.” Parting the Mists

One brief shining: Morning darkness extends later and later as we move toward Mabon, the Fall Equinox, helping the day start cooler and my inner life grows stronger as the days become shorter, shifting from the growing season to harvest, from harvest to the fallow time.

 

Elul. The sixth month of the Jewish year. It starts just past midnight here in the Rocky Mountains. A whole month set aside for cheshbon nefesh or accounting of the soul. We Jews look for relationships we have damaged and ask for forgiveness. A friend whom you became short with? A spouse you gave the silent treatment? A child you criticized harshly? A dog you disciplined because you had a bad day?

Any rupture between you and another. We want to enter Rosh Hashanah, the head of the year, or the New Year, with nothing between us and teshuva. That is, returning to the home place of our soul. This is, by the way, often translated as repentance, but its real meaning lies in becoming the you who you truly and always are.

While cheshbon nefesh may lead us into the so-called High Holidays, the Days of Awe, and its practices may make a lot of sense for cleansing the soul, I’m more, much more, of a Sukkot and Passover and Tu B’shvat Jew. That is, a Jew who follows in the Jewish holiday cycle the turning of the Great Wheel. I imagine Rosh Hashanah covers over an ancient harvest festival. If that were part of its observance, I’d feel more like celebrating it. As it is, meh.

 

Dog journal: Oooh. A new side of Shadow.

We’ve had to strike balances with each other. She comes in at night. I let her out in the early morning. I don’t reach toward her; she comes to me. I go to bed at 7:30 so she can get me up at 4:30 or 5:00. That sort of thing.

One of the hardest for me initially involved leaving the backdoor open. She wanted it. I didn’t. Too cold. Too likely to let in mice.

Likely enough that, as the seasons have rolled toward fall, I’ve put fresh batteries in my ratzappers and placed them in spots not far from the door. Spots I know mice have liked in the past. They’ve been down for a week plus now and no mice. Huh?

Yesterday when Shadow and I were playing her favorite game, where I walk a ways, stop, and when she comes in front of me, I drop a treat behind me, suddenly she was no longer behind me.

Her tail was up and she was running fast. She pounced. Went into the tall Grass. Picked something up and shook it. Flung it into the air. I wondered what it was so I approached.

It was a mouse. A very dead mouse. She picked it up in her mouth and did a fast victory lap around the property. Look what I did! Abandon all hope ye mice who enter here.

 

 

Dogs, Friends, Health, Judaism, Tarot

Tuesday, Tuesday

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Lughnasa and the Korea Moon

Wednesday gratefuls: Shadow, leashed. Sort of. Morning darkness. 40-45 minutes more darkness since the Summer Solstice. Temperate Climates. A feeling of Fall. Natalie. Carol Merz. Paul. Dental hygienist. Luke and the tarot class. Tarot birth cards. Rider-Waite for me: Magician. Wheel of Fortune. Wildwood. The Shaman and the Wheel. The intuitive. The mysterious. Kabbalah.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Luke teaching

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Histapkot. Contentment.

Tarot: Five of Vessels, Ecstasy

“The beat of the universal drum is heard in the soul and it is healthy to surrender for a time and to join the dance. Energy is renewed by bathing in the cosmic life force…”  Parting the Mists

One brief shining: The gradual increase of darkness soothes me, reminds me of the spectacular gold and green of a Rocky Mountain Fall, while also ushering us away from the growing season toward Samain, Holiseason, and that favorite holiday of mine when the soul bathes in the longest night.

 

Yesterday. Talked to buddy Paul. Another call from Carol Merz, the Sloan-Kettering trial psychotherapist. Natalie, the leashing and unleashing of Shadow. My favorite dental hygienist. The last class of Luke’s, The Cards We’re Dealt.

A packed Tuesday. A theme of Paul and mine’s conversation. Persistence. Staying with life, no matter the historical or physiological barriers.

Carol called. Part of the trial for psychotherapy with people over 70 and living with cancer. Helpful, in a modest way. She’s too enthusiastic for my taste. Too attaboy. On the other hand it is good to be reminded of coping strategies.

Natalie came by. An unusual concern. There was a stabbing in Staunton State Park, only 5 minutes from her house. No one was in custody and the description matched a guy who showed up at her house, pressing the doorbell. Ring camera image on her phone.

Her husband had a stroke and can’t walk. A vulnerable adult and she was here on Shadow Mountain. I learned all this at the end of her session. Strange.

We’ve discovered a way to get Shadow on a leash. If she’s in a lap, being cuddled, she doesn’t mind having the leash put on.

I spent 15 minutes walking inside with her leashed. Leaving slack, never pulling her. Letting her get comfortable with the leash. Slowly. Slowly.

Dr. Josy and Natalie have both suggested a second dog. A playmate for Shadow and a role model for how normal dogs behave. I’ve asked them to look for candidates. Today I don’t want a second dog. Maybe I will again tomorrow.

Over to Aspen Dental. Teeth cleaning. Healthy, pale pink gums. No cavities. Lots of laughter. An insurance thang. Grr.

Last session of Luke’s tarot class through Kabbalah Experience. Accomplished its purpose for me. Back into the cards.

After I finish here, I’m going to make a list of cards I pulled during the class. I’ll let you know what if anything I learn from that.

 

 

Feelings, Fourth Phase, Friends, Health, Judaism, Men, Shadow Mountain

Waking up

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Lughnasa and the Korea Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Professor Luke. Leo, the old. Tuscany Tavern. Rabbi Jamie. Irv. Joe. CBE men’s group. Rain. Hard Rain. Mountains Green. Those forty plus Elk Cows eating Grass in Elk Meadow. Three young Elk Calves crossing with their Mothers. Waiting on them to cross the highway. Mountain Life. Shadow inside when I got home.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: The Elk of Evergreen

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Histapkot. Contentment.

Tarot: Knight of Vessels, the Eel

One brief shining: Rain pelted down as I drove up Shadow Mountain last night, the Air heavy and cool, while the waning light from Great Sol’s shabbat appearance outlined Conifer Mountain and Black Mountain in the mist. Shadow was inside and dry.

 

Yesterday was busy. By my standards. These days. Even though my breakfast with Alan canceled. He has a cold.

At 11:30 into Evergreen. Tuscany Tavern. Professor Colaciello, He starts teaching chemistry tomorrow at Metro Community College. This was a congratulatory lunch. At his choice of spots.

He explained his plans. “I’m going to open with, Chemistry is the science of transformations!” He has five demonstrations to follow that sentence. One using oil and water. Another using a combustible powder that he holds in his palm. A lighter. Why didn’t it flame up? Then he sprinkles it over the lighter and whoosh. Oxygen.

Dry Ice in Water. With a ph strip. The water becomes acidic as the dry Ice dissolves. Showing his dental hygienist students why carbonated liquids can destroy tooth enamel.

Later in the week, in a mildly ironic moment, he will teach his first class in the Chemistry of Cannabis. It’s an industry here and the industry requires educated workers. Part of the track for budding professionals.

Leo sat on the patio with us as we talked, ate our lunch.

 

Home for a nap with my Shadow girl.

Out to King’s Valley and Bear Park Road to pick up Irv for the CBE men’s group. Turn around and drive back to Evergreen to the Synagogue.

Only four of us. Joe Greenberg. Jamie. Irv. And myself. The topic. How to be with someone suffering from depression.

The smaller group allowed us to go deeper than we might have otherwise. Each of us had either been depressed or had a close family member who was, or had been. Not surprising.

Accompanying. Being with the person. Not trying to cheer them up or fix them, but acknowledging their pain. Letting them know you care for them. Realizing that depression has its own logic, never visible to those on the outside.

I shared my experience of waking up a couple of months ago to my dysthemia over the early months of this year. Chronic pain. Struggles with Shadow. Uncertainty about what was going on with my cancer.

When Kate was alive, she had this job, given to her by my analyst, John Desteian. She would say to me, “I sense you’re slipping into melancholy.” That would help me wake up, earlier. Kate’s gone now. Had to wake myself up. Harder.

 

Friends, Great Work, Judaism

Is it too late?

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Lughnasa and the Korea Moon

Thursday gratefuls: Rebecca. Terry. Joanne. Coal Mine Dragon Chinese Restaurant. Lake Evergreen. A golden Sunset. Elk Cow headed to the library. Marny Eulberg. Post-Polio Syndrome. Mussar. Luke. His new job. Alan and the Wildflower. Veronica on the Pacific Crest Trail. Tom. Roxann. Sylvan. The Pacific Northwest. Alaska.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: A Western Sunset

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Hakarat Hatov. Recognizing the good.

Tarot: The Stag. #8 of the major arcana. Guardian of the Forest: The Stag is a powerful symbol of the forest, embodying strength, dignity, and a connection to nature’s wisdom

One brief shining: Terry, who has lived in Evergreen since it had all dirt roads, Joanne, who owns 27 acres of land overlooking the Continental Divide, Rebecca, who on September 16th goes again to a Tibetan Buddhist nunnery near Dharamsala for four months, and I ordered Drunken Noodles, Shrimp dishes with Chinese Vegetables while discussing whether we’re in a pre-holocaust time in the U.S.

 

Judaism: The conversations grow more prevalent. Should we leave? Joanne knows several who have gone, fearing the next ICE sweep will be for Jews. After they’ve sated themselves on Mexicans, Central Americans, and any other poor bastards they can round up.

Joanne wondered whether the goyim, any of them, feel this sense of disease about their personal safety. “Or, is it just us. The after the holocaust generation of Jews?”

My sense is that no, the goyim do not feel the same sense of personal peril as Jews. Though some groups, like LGBT folks and some naturalized citizens do. That’s not to say they don’t fear the future (and immediate) impacts of Dictator Donald. Those on the liberal side of the equation. Yet their talk about leaving the country hangs more on distaste, on no longer wanting to be identified with a cryptofascist version of the nation they once loved. Not on worries about Alligator Alcatraz being used on them.

All three of us Joanne, Rebecca and me (Terry is not a Jew.) agreed we were too old to leave. Joanne hopes her sell by date comes up before things go that far. I’m banking on Colorado and the Mountains. Rebecca, if the worst appears on the horizon, could flee to the nunnery, but she faces visa issues there. So we may eat our last meal together at the Coal Mine Dragon Restaurant.

 

Tarot: The Stag. Emphasizing connection to natural wisdom. To the truth that no matter what trivial politics come and go, Mother Earth will be the final arbiter of our case. She will not hesitate to scrub us off Her Lands if we continue to insult Her and Her Atmosphere.

She metes out a certain justice, one that considers the good of all more important than that of any one species. No forgiveness. No mercy. Rising Tides. Powerful Storms. Blazing Heat. We all sit at Her judgment seat.

The Stag says, heed Her before it is too late. And so do I.

Asia, Family, Great Wheel, Greenhouse, Judaism, Korea, Memories, Paganism, Plants, Sport, Tarot

Variables

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Lughnasa and the Korea Moon

Sunday gratefuls: Morning darkness. Cool. Shadow and her toys. The flight to Incheon. 9:30 am, MT today. Korea. The Jangs. My son. The Giants. Baseball. A six year old and the World Series. 1987. Kirby Puckett. Randy Johnson. Bert Blyleven. Kent Hrbek. Fathers and sons. Memories, the scaffolding of identity.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: The Metrodome

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Hakarat Hatov. Recognizing the good.

Tarot: The Three of Arrows, Jealousy

One brief shining: Stubble darkened his golden brown face as he listened, focused, a commander, a lieutenant colonel, yes, but here with me, my son hearing my doctor, Sue Bradshaw, discuss my health.

 

The Jangs: The Giants lost. 4-2. Beaten by the Nationals. Jung Hoo Lee got one hit. Root, root, root for the home team. If they don’t win, it’s a shame. Not in this case. Seeing Lee play center field, bat. That was the ball game for the Korean cheering section.

Their plane leaves this continent today at 10:30 am Pacific time, arriving in Incheon on Monday, the 11th, at 3 pm. The international dateline.

My son returns to work on Tuesday after a “vacation” spent as chauffeur and main problem solver for this Rocky Mountain Korean holiday. He’s confident, decisive, steady, kind.

His work phone kept him busy, too. The oddest problem? A geomagnetic storm, space weather, that could harm the instruments used in his job. Talk about force majeure.

 

The Tarot: Not often do the cards perplex me, but this one, the Three of Arrows, jealousy? Wha…? I left envy and jealousy behind, at least I think I did, years ago. Each night I touch the mezuzah on my bedroom door and say, “I’m comfortable with who I am. I’m comfortable with what I have.” I mean it, too. And feel it in my lev. So, jealousy?

Perhaps it comes to remind me of those days when I read many authors and wanted to write like them? Marion Zimmer Bradley. Herman Hesse. Ovid. Many others. I found my own voice.

Or. Perhaps it comes to remind me of the spiritual journey I’ve taken since those days of ambition. Toward acceptance of the Great Wheel as a model of life. Toward the Jewish insistence on constant questioning. Toward Yamantaka’s wisdom on death. Toward knowledge, intimate knowledge, of the One.

Or, perhaps it’s a random card with no particular resonance at all.

 

Artemis: Kale, Spinach, Beets, Tomatoes thrive. Arugula, Lettuce, Chard not so much. The east facing bed challenges me to learn how to plant it, water it. What unique gift does it have that I can’t quite see right now?

While I wait on the other vegetables to mature, I plan to try different things, see what might turn it from fallow to abundance. First, I plan to replant the Arugula, Lettuce, and Chard. Perhaps today. Then I plan to supplement the drip irrigation with my pretty green watering can. It has a flat copper spout with holes and produces a gentle Rain.

My goal is not so much a harvest at this point, but experimenting with variables to see what makes this bed a comfortable home for Seeds.

 

Asia, Dogs, Family, Fourth Phase, Judaism, Korea, Memories, Mussar, Travel, World History

New Ideas

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Lughnasa and the Korea Moon

Shabbat gratefuls: Bagel table. Sue Bradshaw. My son with me. The Jangs in San Francisco. Breckenridge. The oxygen concentrator. Shadow, barking in the early morning. Protecting Artemis from Mule Deer? The darkness. Shadow still barking. Ah. Stopped. Tactical flashlight. Artemis heater. Tomatoes fruiting. Evergreen Lake. Hot weather.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Walking in the Dark

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah: Hakarat Hatov.

Active Recognition: Hakarat hatov is not passive. It requires conscious effort to identify and acknowledge the good, rather than taking it for granted. Beyond Gratitude: While related to gratitude, hakarat hatov extends to recognizing the good in situations and people, even when they haven’t directly benefited you. Jewish Perspective: In Judaism, hakarat hatov is considered a fundamental value, encouraging a positive outlook and a sense of appreciation for the world and its inhabitants. Gemini

Tarot: The Green Woman, #3*

One brief shining: Out into the back yard tactical flashlight in hand, where is she and what has she seen to cause such a commotion, a lot of barking, barking, barking; the cool Mountain morning wraps around me as I see light reflected in two eyes looking at me, Shadow wondering what is he doing out here.

 

Parting words: When I left the Happy Camper a couple of weeks ago, the Gen Z latter day hippy clerk smiled and said, “Be high out there.” Altitude attitude?

Yesterday when I left Jackie’s after getting my ears lifted, Rhonda, her colleague, gave me a mischievous smile and said, “Don’t behave yourself!”

 

The Jang’s last day in Colorado: My son and Seoah packed up, loaded the huge Dodge Van they’ve used for transporting each other on this Rocky Mountain holiday, and headed for a morning in Breckenridge, my son’s post college home for three years.

The part of their stay which focused on things I’ve done many times, I stayed at home. Partly to preserve my energy. My stamina is not up to days away from home. Mostly I just didn’t want to go.

The evening meals I enjoyed immensely. We connected on levels beyond the need for language. Smiles. Hugs. Being together as family. Some conversation and some of it deep: the nature of government or the origin of Homo sapiens. Some of it silly. They liked Macgiver, Battlestar Galactica, American TV. I like K-dramas. Soft culture.

We left each other on the asphalt of my driveway. Hugs all round except for Umma, who shook my hand. Her way.

An important visit. Memories that build relationships. Relationships that can last over time and distance. My question now is how to nurture, how to reinforce them.

A few ideas. I pay Ruth’s airfare to Korea next summer if she gets an internship there. Maybe I go with her. Gabe’s graduation money could send him to Korea, too.

Perhaps we’ll all meet in Hawai’i. Vacation together in a spot between the Mountains and the Peninsula.

Emails and zoom. Gifts. I’m open to other ideas. Mary? Mark?

 

Just a moment: A new form of family, united across oceans and languages and nations, perhaps that’s part of the answer to Trumpism. An end around. Loosen the bond with any one home country, spend the released energy on building connection continent to continent.

 

*”…the Green Woman mediates the sacred sovereignty of the Earth’s soul and can show the path to understanding and communion with nature. But with this blessing comes responsibility. Remember that this glorious, magnanimous and generous spirit can live through you, radiated by the sacred breath of life and given to others who need guidance and healing.” Parting the Mists

 

Fungi, Judaism, Reimagine. Reconstruct. Reenchant., Reimaging revelation

Yirah

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Summer and the Korea Moon

Monday gratefuls: Morning Darkness, that chill. Dull aches. Better than sharp pain. Exercise. Tramadol. Shadow and her 4:30 wake up call. Artemis glowing from the heater. 68 degrees. 57 outside. Prolia. Ultrasound. Lakewood at 1 p.m., 95 degrees. Great Sol. Luna. Perseids. Andromeda. Polaris. Ursa Major. Orion. Rigel. Vega. Fitbit. Mandarin Oranges. Water. Our shattered Rock Aquifer. Drip irrigation.

Sparks of Joy and Awe: Fixing stuff

Year Kavannah: Wu Wei

Week Kavannah:  Yirah. Awe.

Tarot:   The Moon on Water. #18*      How can I live in radical amazement today?

One brief shining: Stop a moment, listen, see, watch for the inner world manifesting itself, wrestling your senses into observing the sacred in the Rock ledge, the Bird of dawn, the beat of your heart, the gentle always of breathing, the toilet bowl, the sink, everything.

 

Heschel: Radical amazement requires a willingness to see the outer with the inner most eye. That eye sees through the Nefesh from its forever home in the Neshama, goes beyond ego and persona to what Heidegger calls the dasein, our thereness in the world, always changing always intimate, never repeating. We penetrate and get penetrated by the World. Yin and yang.

How can we not be amazed? We are in the World and the World is in us. We find no space between ourselves and what our senses report as the out there.

This is the One in its oneness. Sacred World. Sacred You.

For example. I went outside in the dark of morning to check on the drip irrigation. It’s not watering as fully as I need. Once I saw this, I glanced at the eastern Sky, just above the Lodgepoles.

Venus in her planetary splendor. Bright. Alone for the moment. Great Sol washed out more distant Stars as morning grew brighter.

You might say Venus lies faraway in the vasty deepness of our Solar System. Yes, it does. But she pressed into me, lighting up my retinal nerve, as close as close can be. I am Venus and Venus is me. Not separate, one.

Consider the Puffballs in my back yard. We’ve had plenty of Rain in the afternoons so the Fungi make their way into view. As our body relies on networks of neurons, the Fungi rely on an unseen network of mycelium. Neither are visible. When we encounter the Puffball or our friend, their uniqueness requires millions upon millions of tiny electrical pulses, the movement of information and food through intricate networks of connecting cells.

How can I keep from singing?

 

*This card is a strong indicator to dive deep into your intuition and/or yourself. The Moon illuminates our world, but it is an illumination void of color – it makes our familiar world unfamiliar and leaves us to color things with our own intuition and creativity. The Sun takes away the questions, which is why I feel the Moon is so closely drawn to intuition and looking deeper at what is around us and within us.

However, this is much more than a Moon card. The path of moonlight across the marsh waters speaks volumes to those with an Avalonian inclination. It is a time for reflection and inner journeying to the Isle. Also depicted is an auroch, an extinct kind of wild cattle and ancestor of modern cattle, which were known to stand as tall as elephants. This would have been a beast to be wary of, even for skilled hunters. Indeed, cave walls depict the auroch in a way that suggests respect.